SIMON SAYS

by Simon Hastelow

In this month's musings Simon ponders... Tribute Acts!

Now that we’ve seen the new Defender, the Ineos Grenadier and the new Ford Bronco, which one grabbed your attention, and for what reason?

I’m not taking part in the rather sad and pointless ‘it’s not a real Defender’ argument. The same whinging old gits were shouting the same arguments to anyone that would listen when the One Ten and Ninety took over from the Series III.

No, what I’m trying to assess is how we judge these new vehicles, is it:

purely by looks alone?

by specification?

by rugged usefulness?

affordability?

a combination of all of those things?

For me, personally, the only one of that trio that really made me sit up and take notice was the Ford Bronco. Have a look at the specification. It promises an insanely good package at a very affordable price point and with more options than any sensible person could possibly need.

Ford have taken the ‘street cool’ treatment that Jeep gave to the Wrangler for the past couple of decades and added a whole bunch of extra WOW! Sadly we’ll only ever see it here as a personal import, but it’s the one that the 13 year old boy in me wants.

What about the Ineos and the New Defender?

Well. I have been lucky enough to see Pink Floyd live in concert on several occasions, and a couple of spin-offs too. I saw Floyd four times before they called it a day. I’ve seen The Australian Pink Floyd Show a couple of times too, and I’ve seen Nick Mason’s Saucerful of Secrets show at a small pub in London. Forgive my rambling, this is going somewhere....

The New Defender is Pink Floyd after Roger Waters quit. Looks superb, sounds great, has all the ingredients of being perfect, but there’s just that little bit of real madness and genius missing.

The Ineos Grenadier is a tribute act, just like the Aussie Floyd show. Kind of similar, looks the same, does the same thing, but about as satisfying as a burger van kebab after a night out on the sauce. It might satiate a certain hunger, but it’ll leave you feeling a bit empty later on.

We all want modern reliability in our off-roaders, but if it doesn’t have that edge, that spark, that ‘thing’ that makes you giggle inappropriately, then it Iacks something, but if anyone wants to donate either of these to me for a long-term test I’m in!