MOOCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

mooch ado about Mooch nothing

The other day on Instagram I watched a video of a slightly modified Toyota Hilux lifting a wheel or two whilst driving a very rutted green lane, and curiosity got the better of me, so I sent Lowrange Adventures a quick DM asking where it was.

Turns out it wasn’t that far from Muddy Towers, well more like 2 hours away, on the coast of Cumbria, not far from Sellafield.

Checking Trailwise 2 I noticed a few other lanes in that area that looked intriguing, so after bunging in £25 worth of diesel in the press Hilux I had that week, I headed for the small Cumbrian town of Millom for a short adventure.

Situated on the south western corner of the Lake District on the Duddon estuary, Port Haverigg Marina is dominated by a large holiday village, but what intrigued me was that the road that encompasses the marina is actually a green lane, TW references SD1678-06 and SD1678-04.

Lane 1

Starting at the side of Haverigg beach, SD1678-06 is essentially a wide gravel track with lots of puddles that can easily be driven in Grandma’s Micra, but that didn’t matter.

The view across the mouth of the estuary was particularly pleasant today, with the odd break in the grey clouds that promised blue skies, the chilly wind put a stop on pulling over for a brew.

Being a Friday afternoon there wasn’t that many people out, 3 or 4 cyclists, a couple of joggers and around a 1/2 dozen doggers - sorry, dog walkers, some frowned at me, one smiled and the rest ignored me.

Lane 2

Once you reach the end of the marina, the lane turns into SD1678-04, and this section is largely tarmac with a few sneaky parking spots hidden away. I spotted a couple of VW camper vans scattered around minding their own business, which was nice. Further along the single track road serves the caravan park, which you drive through to get back to the start.

Overall they were pleasant lanes with great views, and if I’d had more time I would have taken the time to explore some of the beaches in the area.

Lunch

On the subject of beaches, my next port of call was a narrow lane just to the left of Bootle called Stockbridge, which is literally right on the beach. I pulled over and got out the Tire Table that I’ve reviewed this month in the Goods & Gear section, my Coleman Unleaded stove and heated up a pre-prepared sausage curry - lovely!

Typically, every time I park up on an empty and secluded beach, or anywhere where I’m alone for that matter, guaranteed within 10 minutes I’m surrounded my other motorists with absolutely no sense of personal space.

It was good timing, actually, as the strong wind had scattered the clouds that presented the big beautiful blue sky, and my next lane awaited my presence.

Lane 3

SD1188-02 or Bootle Fell was the lane I watched on the short video, and it’s a majestic gravel green lane that rises up from the A595 at Bootle.

To begin with it’s a bit tight in places with soft overhanging bracken to negotiate. As it began to get steeper I engaged low box in the Hilux, which frustratingly took a few minutes as it’s electric and not a simple lever.

So far the going was good, SD1188-02 has a solid base with very few ruts, in fact I was beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about.

However, next section is a very different kettle of fish.

If you check out Trailwise, at some point the lane turns into SD1288-02, and it’s this section that has become badly eroded due to the weather.

I had to get out of the Hilux quite a number of times to choose a route as the lane had suddenly become quite technical, and careful wheel placement was required.

As I edged to Hilux into the first rut there were creaks from the suspension and scrapes from the undercarriage, but traction was never in doubt.

Within a matter of yardsnI was stood in front of the Hilux again, slightly bemused and scratching my head as there didn’t seem to be any discernible path forward. The deep ruts snaked in all directions.

Choosing the route that appeared less damaging to both the Hilux and the lane, I engaged the rear diff lock and aimed at the shallower ruts. At one point I decided to straddle a wide section, but suddenly it became wider and much deeper, and as I didn’t want to cause any panel damage, I reversed back to try a different line.

Another tricky section found me found me again stood for a while trying to figure out the best lines forwards!

Once you get past the ruts the lane levels out again and you're treated to some epic views, and as I sat on the tailgate taking them all in, I couldn’t help reflect on the Luxie and what a great job it had done. Of course, it was a lovely dry day, add rain and it would have been a much different and far more difficult experience.

I wouldn’t dream of bringing a soft roader up here, I’d even have doubts of driving Deux Smurf due to her lack of locking diffs and electric aids, though driving the lane from east to west, downwards, wouldn’t be too bad, I guess.

And that was it, at the end of the lane I turned right and headed back towards the A595 and eventually home. I’ll really miss the Hilux Extra Cab Active, but next week I have the Land Cruiser Utility coming as a replacement, so I’ll see how I get on with that.