HOW IT ALL BEGAN PT.2

Lightweight Love

Last month I wrote about my very first Land Rover, a Series 3 109 Hardtop that I bought in the early 80s, but, due to having a lack of funds, I eventually traded her in for an arguably more sensible car, a Nissan Cherry.

Over the next year or so, the Cherry served me well, but as I mentioned last month, I just couldn’t shake the overwhelming desire to own a Lightweight, the cut wings and slab-sided body reminded me of the CJ3a I fell in love with whilst reading the American Four Wheeler magazine.

Then, one fateful day as I was driving through a small village called Hoghton, just outside Preston, I figured I’d pop in to see Graham at Crook Brothers, they usually had a good selection ex-army Land Rovers on offer.

And there she was, a ‘73 ex-Military Police Lightweight in olive drab for just £1,500. Looking back, I didn't realise how unmeddled with and original she was; I may have taken more care of her more if I had!

My girlfriend at the time threatened to leave me if I bought another one of those 'stupid Jeep things'. However, when I brought it home she didn't follow through with her threat, but that was probably because I gave her the Nissan Cherry!

As you can imagine, during the following three or so years that I owned her I made quite a few fond memories. One of my favourite 'buffoon' moments was when she had a temperamental starter motor. Usually I would crawl underneath and tap the starter motor with a hammer to loosen the bendix, but on one occasion whilst at work it was raining, so I switched on the ignition and quickly grabbed the starting handle.

Can you guess what I forgot to do? Yup, I forgot to take her out of reverse, and after a couple of turns she fired up and drove straight into the front door! My boss wasn't best pleased.

On the subject of my boss, on Saturday mornings I would often blag a lift into work with him. However, on one particular morning I overslept, and by the time I’d ran to the end of the street he’d been and gone, so I had to fire up the Lightweight. Good job too, because as he drove out of a small village and onto the moors, he reached snow.

Now normally that isn’t a problem as Phil is an excellent driver, and could handle pretty much anything in his company car - a Sierra Estate, but driving up an incline he suddenly found himself in a set of tractor ruts, which led to him to slide into a deep ditch at the side of the road, or so he said.

Ten minutes later I come trundling along enjoying myself in the snow, when spotted the stricken Sierra, oh’ how I smirked!

Phil wasn’t in a good mood, I’ll tell you that much. I attached a tow strap and tried to recovery the Sierra, but there was no way I could get it out, the road was too icy, and it was almost on its side, so he jumped in the Lightweight and moaned about how basic she was all the way to work.

Being a standard 2¼ petrol she obviously wasn’t the most economical vehicle, and there were some weeks when I would have to drive 70 miles a day commuting to and from work. Fuel bills aside, I didn't mind as she was such great fun to drive.

I remember on one incredibly muggy Monday morning having to drive to our head office in Manchester for a course. I couldn’t be bothered rolling up her tilt or unscrewing her door tops, instead I simply lifted her entire doors off the hinges and threw them in the back.

At some point during the day someone mentioned that it had started to rain, and much to everyone’s amusement I rushed out, not close my windows, but put my doors back on. That tale stuck with me for the rest of my career at BSL.

At the time I was still a member of Red Rose Land Rover Club, and many a cracking weekend was spent at Lancashire Concrete Quarry, partaking in play days and trials.

After watching a fair few FVT's (Family Vehicle Trials), I decided that I should have a go. We didn't do too well, something to do with the road-biased tyres, you understand. I couldn’t afford mud terrains at the time - probably something to do with all my spare cash being spent on petrol!

Another buffoon moment was at the end of a weekend away with RRLRC in a farmer’s field near Windermere. At the time I’d bought a trailer tent, and after a very soggy and miserable couple of days I had huge amounts of trouble getting off the field. I only realised a few weeks later that I had one freewheeling hub locked, and the other unlocked.

She had a few quirks, one was, that whenever we stopped, say at a set of traffic lights for example, she would make the most ridiculous noise, it sounded like a whale had somehow found it's way under the bonnet and was singing mournful songs to its long lost mate. Apparently it was due to a valve on the oil-cooler, and not my ex-girlfriend moaning as some friends suggested.

Then there was the windscreen washer bottle. If you've driven a Lightweight then you'll know that it's secured on the inside of the bulkhead, next to the steering wheel. This is handy not only for keeping tabs on when to fill it up, but also for keeping my shoes clean as mine had a constant leak.

Another thing I remember about her was that she hated water, or any sort of dampness for that matter. Changing her plugs and dizzy didn’t make any difference whatsoever. Drive through any puddle, and I’d end up at the side of the road for around 10 minutes with a splutter, splutter, blurgh.

I learnt a lot about Land Rovers during our time together

• how to fix them

• how to recover them

• why speed isn't important

• and of course, how to deal with financial ruin!

That said, we had bucket loads of fun together, both during summer and even in winter. Okay, she was slow, noisy, uncomfortable and thirsty, but she was also great fun and incredibly charismatic.

She was used to transport bridesmaids to a wedding, and mourners to a funeral and everything in between. She may not have been pretty, but she was dependable (as long as it wasn’t damp).

When I eventually sold her she must’ve of taken a dislike to the new owner, or the fact that it was going to live in Yorkshire, because her steering relay mysteriously decided to self destruct whilst on the M62. The guy phoned me up to complain about her being dangerous, and didn’t believe me when I said she showed no signs of imminent failure when I drove her last, or when he took her for a long test drive!

Of all the Land Rovers I’ve had in the past and want to own again, the Lightweight is the one I hanker over the most. It has nothing to do with their rarity and collectability, rather the feelings and memories they invoke. One day I’ll have another, I’m sure of it, I just need to figure out how to talk Muddy Madam into investing in one as a magazine project vehicle, and of course finding the cash!

Muddy Madam here - Damian will have to win the bloomin' lottery before a lightweight becomes part of the Turner household, because I am not trekking around in another draughty, uncomfortable, no frills, old Lannie again. I have become as soft as my arse, I like my modern comforts!