TURNER'S TORQUE

We have our freedom back, yay!

Not all of it, obviously, but some of it, and I know a lot of you lovely readers have been taking full advantage, either ‘laning, camping, or both!

Still, the complaints have been rolling in (did they ever stop?), and 4x4 and bike owners have been criticised for outright vandalism.

Recently I was on a green lane taking photos of the Lexus UX press car, then it happened, I was approached by an angry middle-aged bloke with a dog who proceeded to shout at me.

“You lot are ruining the 'effing' countryside and should be banned!”

A little bemused, I pondered for a moment on how to react, I mean, I was in a bloomin' Lexus for crying out loud!

I smiled, and in my calmest of counselling voices, I replied,

“It’s a shame that you only see the actions of the few and don’t realise that the majority of us genuine 'green laners' have bucket-loads of respect for the countryside.

It’s a bit like you walkers who drop litter, and walk across farmer’s fields destroying crops and livelihoods. A bit like saying that all football supporters are hooligans. A bit like saying all builders dump their waste in parks or back streets at midnight. A bit like saying dog owners never pick up after their dogs have fouled.

“I always pick up its shit!" he retorted.

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe you. Despite me not knowing you, I’m choosing to lump you in with the 2% of dog owners who lack a certain moral compass and leave crap everywhere, just like you are doing with me.”

At this point, judging by the look of his face, I thought he was going to have a full-on nuclear meltdown, but to his credit he shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Fair enough.” and for the next few minutes we put the world to rights!

He turned out to be a nice bloke.