MOOCH - THE ODD TRIO

Years ago, trips like these were organised by a random comment in a pub, these days it’s all on social media, and this foray began with a comment on the Renegade 4x4’s Facebook page by Liam, who wrote that he and Ben were heading out into the Yorkshire Dales the following day, and did anyone fancy meeting up?

With a couple of days left before the July issue was due to be published, Muddy Madam was busily buried into her computer and was quite desperate to have me out of the house!

With sausage ’n’ stuffing butties prepared and a flask full of coffee, I set off for the 2 hour drive from Bolton to Masham, which is just outside Ripon, North Yorkshire to meet up with Liam and Ben.

Liam arrived in his well prepared Subaru Forester and Ben in his modified Fiat Panda that you can read more about in our Reader’s Rides.

After a quick chat and a couple of photos, we set off towards our first lane.

Lane 1 - Trailwise 2 refs SE1474-02, SE1274-03, SE117502

Our first lane was Wreaks Lane, one that normally offers spectacular views across Marsden Moor and not necessarily that difficult to drive. In fact, I’ve driven it in a BMW X6 in the past.

With low clouds causing light drizzle, it was a bit grim and not much to get excited about.

During a few rocky sections and deeper ruts, Liam chose his line carefully, but being ‘tail end Charley’ I could see that there was always plenty of room underneath the Forester.

Lane 2 - SE0676-04 & SE0677-02

Heading south to north, the last time I drove In Moor Lane it began with some interesting deep ruts that would have made driving it in the Forester impossible, however, I hadn’t realised that last year, pretty much the whole lane up until the reservoir, it had been graded.

Now, I understand why, access for all ‘n’ all that, and if you want a challenge visit a Pay & Play site, but for the first time after driving a graded lane I heard myself contradicting myself. I thought, what’s the point in having a green lane that’s as flat as the M62! Anyway, at least now I’ll be able to take a few ‘softroaders’ up there! By this stage the clouds were beginning to dissipate, and we had flashes of blue. Even the sun decided to show itself on occasions.

Despite my slight grievance, In Moor Lane (SE0676-04), still offers some great views overlooking the Scar House reservoir.

As we crossed the dam and headed up Dead Mans Hill (SE0677-02), we passed a few groups of walkers and a couple of lads on quads. All were pleasant, though the walkers appeared a bit ambivalent over our presence.

As we began our ascent up Dead Mans I was a tad happier that we still had a bit of a challenge with loose rocks and the odd step to negotiate. At the bottom of Dead Man’s it appears to have succumbed to the heavy rain we’ve had recently, allowing the water to overflow down the track that has created some deep ruts, so be careful.

Lane 3 - SE0287-03, SE0388-06 and SE0487-03

The first section, if you’re travelling from east to west, is High lane which is as wide and straight as a normal road and made up of compact gravel, but with quite a few muddy puddles.

Then it becomes Morpeth Gate, and as you snake down towards the B6160 the lane becomes narrow as you drive between a stone brick wall and banking. Due to the trees it doesn’t offer much in the way of views, but it’s a lane that’s easily negotiable in a smaller SUV.

The last time I drove it I was confronted with a large branch that had fallen from a tree that was blocking our path, which is quite common, apparently. There was nowhere to move it to, so removed some of the branches with my Gerber folding saw to make it more manageable to drive over.

Lane 4 - SD9788-02

Back on the A684 towards Hawes and after a few miles Ben took a left turn heading towards SD9788-02, a lane that I’ve never had the (mis)fortune to drive before!

Let me explain. From north to south it begins with a very tight 90º right hand turn into what appears to be undergrowth. If I hadn’t just seen Ben and Liam drive into it I’d have thought it was impassable, squeezing Deux Smurf into the lane was, fun, and adding insult to injury, almost immediately there was another a 90º left turn.

With ruts, loose rocks, tree roots and encroaching branches from both sides, not only was visibility quite poor, but the going was quite tough, or at least I thought it was as both Ben and Liam disappeared off in the undergrowth. Maybe I was being overly cautious, or Deux Smurf was simply too wide?

Pushing my way through the branches I was constantly on edge, and apologising to Deux Smurf as painful screeches from body contact with branches echoed within the undergrowth. Occasionally I would catch a glimpse of Liam as he stopped to make sure I was still moving.

On one occasion the driver’s door mirror received a huge thwack from an outward projecting branch, it gave me a bit of a fright, I’ll tell you! Thankfully no damage done, just the potential of a slightly soiled seat!

For future reference, only drive this lane if you have a smaller 4x4 than Deux Smurf, and even a Defender, and you don’t mind go-faster scratch marks. Some comments on Trailwise 2 suggest you bring along a pair of gardening snips, sadly that ship sailed a while ago, a flame-thrower would be a more appropriate alternative, or one of those hedge cutters you can fit to a tractor.

After Ben and his partner pulled into Hawes to grab some food, Liam and I parked next the the ford just on the outskirts to assess the wounds from the last lane. Thankfully no damage, only a few more go-faster strips on the bodywork.

I did query why Liam seemed to be driving like a scolded cat on some of the previous technical sections, and he explained that being a diesel manual, his Forester didn’t come with a ‘low-box’, and therefore 1st gear was a little too high and consequently bogs a bit on slower sections. At some point in the near future he’ll be looking at getting a remap to sort the issues at low revs.

Lane 5 - SD8486-01 & SD8283-03

Our next lane was West Cam road, and I was curious how Liam would manage both the infamous step half way along, as well as the limestone slabs just after.

Arriving at the step it didn’t look as severe as I remembered it from a few years ago, the difference bad weather and plenty of traffic can make isn’t that surprising I guess. Despite appearing less drastic, it was still going to be quite a challenge for Liam in his Forester.

With the perfect wheel placement planned, Liam went for it with a bit of gusto, otherwise he’d have stalled. There was a bit of wheel lift, and clunks from underneath, but with precision driving Liam made it.

It was my turn next, and it was never going to be a huge challenge in Deux Smurf, low box engaged and she dawdled up it in style.

Next was Ben, and again with a little momentum and a bit of scrabbling from those skinny tyres and lack of decent flex, he made it look easy.

Within around a hundred yards, just as the lane plateaued, we spotted a group of bikers stood around the limestone rock slabs that would be our next challenge.

Pulling over and approaching by foot it and emerged that one of the group had had an accident, and they were calling the emergency services discussing how to access him.

Turned out that whilst approaching the wet limestone slabs, Simon’s bike had slipped from under him causing untold damage to his left leg, to the point he couldn’t put any weight on it, never mind ride his bike.

That wasn’t the worst of it, the far more serious part of the situation was that it was his wife’s birthday, and they’d arranged to go out for celebratory meal with other members of the family. As Simon said, she’d kill him if they have to spend time in hospital munching on vending machine crisps as opposed to a slap up meal!

As the green-laning code goes, if we find someone injured or in difficulty whilst out and about, we don’t leave them behind, so after a chat, I offered to take Simon to the end of the lane, and assess the situation then.

As it turned out, Ben, Liam and I only had another few lanes to drive, all that I’d driven previously, so it was decided that I’d drive Simon around 15 miles down the road to Kettlewell where the group had left their vans. As it turned out it was on my way home anyway, so no bother.

Upon arrival arrangements were made for his mates to retrieve his bike and get him home to his wife and aforementioned celebratory meal, which he made, avoiding another disaster!

Overall a splendid day was had driving some great lanes with great company, and even Simon managed to maintain his humour, despite being in considerable pain.