Where for art thou (Alfa) Romeo?

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’was the week before Christmas, Muddy Madam was stricken down with a nasty cold, our press car was the Alfa Romeo Stelvio, and I was trying to think of somewhere different to take it. Then out of the blue, Nat, an old friend, sent me a message saying that if I wanted, I could visit him and explore some of the tracks around his farm. Never one to refuse an offer to play in mud, I sent him a quick text back saying “Cool, I’ll see you on Sunday!”.

When Sunday arrived I threw a few bit’s ’n’ pieces in the back of the Stelvio, and set off for the 2 hour drive towards Helmsley, North Yorkshire to test the Stelvio’s 4x4 credentials and take some pretty pictures.

Arriving at the farm, we reminisced about the old times, checked out his old yellow Suzuki LJ80, and I kindly refused the offer to buy a goat, as you do.

Deciding that we both didn’t have a lot of time to spend

meandering around the lanes, Nat chose to take me along some of the tracks that skirt through the farm.

I was following Nat in his Toyota Hilux tray back, through some fairly deep ruts made by tractors and other farm machinery, and I began to wonder if this was a good idea. I expected to hear an array of noises as the front of the Stelvio plowed a layer of mud and stones from the surface, but I didn’t, the Alfa’s ground clearance is better than it looks.

Further along as the ruts evened out I noticed that Nat began to slide sideways, due to the camber of the track, but he regained traction easily due to his aggressive offroad tyres.

“How would the Stelvio cope on road tyres.” I pondered.Well, it was one of those buttock-clenching moments

as the tyres didn’t have enough sidewall grip and I slid sideways towards the rolling Yorkshire hillside! Thankfully there was enough of a lip on the track to prevent me getting into any real danger.

The track remained muddy with a solid base, and as we headed downwards towards another gate I could feel the back end twitching slightly as I feathered the brakes.

The gradient wasn’t that steep, but I thought it wise at this point to press the Hill Descent control button on the steering wheel, and suddenly the electrics took over slowing the Stelvio which did its job and made it much more controllable.

A couple of gates later and we crossed a small stream, which doesn’t sound that bad, but both the entrance and

exit were quite sloppy. Normally at that point I’d have given it a bit of momentum, but I decided against it as I wanted to test how the Stelvio coped with the gooey stuff. Very well, it transpired.

From there we continued up a single track, though I'm not sure track is the correct word, through another couple of gates until we reached the main road then continued on a loop back towards Helmsley.

Next up, I followed Nat along one of the many forestry tracks that surround the farm. Initially nice and flat, but after a hairpin bend I was confronted with quite a steep and slippery descent as we headed towards the valley below. Again, the Stelvio’s Hill Descent control took over and made it look easy.

A couple more gentle lanes and a few photo stops later we headed back to the farm, and after leaving Nat to

carry on with his farming duties I followed our previous track back along the forestry road towards the steep bit, stopping of course for the odd photo.

The Stelvio’s drive system is quite simple, in normal driving it sends all the drive to the rear wheels for that typical sports car feel, but when traction is lost it feeds power to the front. I have to say that it does this seamlessly and efficiently, even when I stopped on the steepest and wettest part of the incline the Stelvio drove forward without any hesitation of loss of traction.

It’s also fitted with one of those auto handbrake things that stops you from rolling backwards whilst on a hill, which came in handy!

Arriving home filthy (both me and the Stelvio), I reflected on the day over a pint of Guinness and developed a huge grin. I was more than impressed with the Stelvio's off-road capability, and although a 2 wheel drive car could have coped with some of the lanes, there were others they definitely wouldn’t have. The Stelvio made light work of them all.

It obviously isn’t a ‘proper’ 4x4 in the true sense, but if you live in the countryside, and often need to plough along muddy farm tracks and the like, don’t discount the Alfa just because of it’s sporty heritage, it’ll cope with ease.

In the next issue of The Mud Life Magazine you can read the full review on the Stelvio, so don’t forget to follow us on issuu to get notified when it's published.