WHOOPS

They say that mistakes in life often make the best stories, and as I shared my thoughts about the latest Range Rover Sport in last month’s issue, I was reminded of a time in a press car, when things went horribly wrong, and of course I thought I'd share it with all of you.

It was back in 2014, not long after the demise of the popular magazine Land Rover World, and I had a Range Rover Sport on loan. It wasn’t a boring diesel, it was the fire breathing 5.0ltr supercharged V8 version, and wow, did I have a lot of fun in it.

The day before it was due to be returned to Gaydon it still had a decent amount of fuel left in the tank, so I thought Muddy Madam and I should have one last hoorah, and spend the day in the Lake District heading up Wrynose Pass, and down Hardknott Pass.

The Range Rover Sport is a wide car, it may not appear so when you’re walking around it, but it’s something that you become acutely well aware of whilst squeezing £90k worth of car between stone brick walls in Cumbria!

We made our way up and over Wrynose Pass with all the windows open just to hear the V8 roar, then we chilled for a while, took a few photos and carried westerly towards Hardknott Pass.

The hairpin bends were fun, and thankfully the Sport had adecent turning circle. Upon reaching the top we stopped and marvelled at the view, “What a cracking day it’s been.” I thought to myself.

Trying not to drive like a hooligan I headed downwards, but that's when disaster struck. Cutting a right hand corner I caught a rock with the off-side rear tyre and my heart sank as I heard the unmistakable sound of air escaping from the rear off side tyre.

Pulling over at the next available passing point I discovered the worst possible scenario, I had a split the sidewall.

Panic struck, not only was there absolutely no mobile phone service, but I hadn’t checked whether the Sport had a full size spare, a space saver or an emergency repair gunge kit that would have been totally useless with a sidewall split.

Thankfully, this press car had a full size spare, and let that be a warning to anyone buying a new or second hand car - don’t buy it unless it has a spare tyre!

The next part belongs in a comic strip.

Removing the spare out of the deep rear well wasn’t a problem, but for those who aren’t as hefty as me, Land Rover provide a handy and well thought out pulley system. I loosened the wheel nuts, located the jack in its position in the sill and began lifting the car.

After removing the nuts I flung the deflated wheel to one side, grabbed the spare, heaved it into position and... hang on, why is it not aligning? ‘Weird.’ I thought, I mustn’t of jacked it high enough, I estimated at least another 2” or so.

Turning back to the jack I lifted the car another couple of inches, turned around, grabbed the spare, aligned it up to the hub and... still too low! What on earth was doing on? Third time lucky, I hoped, as I was getting quite angry. I jacked it up another couple of inches, turned around, grabbed the spare, aligned it up to the hub and... WHAT?

I honestly thought I was losing it until I realised what was happening, the higher I jacked up the Sport, the further the hub lowered itself because the computer thought it was in an off-road situation with the wheel off the ground!

Apparently what I should have done in the first instance was to engage ‘off road’ mode which would have raised the vehicle to a higher suspension setting and then use the jack. At least I know now for future mishaps.

Thankfully the rest of our journey was less fraught, we stopped off at Coniston to watch a firework display through the panoramic sunroof, then called in at the Gateway Inn by the roundabout on the A591 to sample their great food before heading home.