5 minute read
Tales of Lilly, The Mud Life Dog
A Truly Mucky Pup
By Karen Lee Turner
We headed out this month to PATS, a trade show for the pet industry. I think it's the best trade show we go to, though Damian would disagree as the Food show at the NEC is his particular favourite (it's absolutely nothing to do with all the meat and other tasty sundries that that he gets to guzzle down). It's also one of the few trade show that have furry friends to stroke at quite a lot of stands, so I am in my element.
We go to find new and interesting products specifically for dogs, because we know that a lot of you are dog owners just like us, and it's always fun to find things to make your and their lives better.
You can't take your own dogs, but Lilly rather enjoys her stayovers with her Nana, and enjoys the goody bag of treats we bring back even more.
We found quite a lot of stuff that will be frequenting the pages of this mag over the coming months, and usually come back with a few samples of this'n'that - usually shampoos, dog treats and small toys.
At this time of year the shampoos become my favourites, because as the title above says, Lilly is one hell of a mucky pup.
Now I see lots of dogs around the park, some which have a lot longer fur than Lilly and you would think that this would mean they would get filthier than she does, but it's her weird quirk to come back in the darker months looking like she has been halfdipped in mud.
You see the longer coat bigger dogs seem to me more sedate or calm or tranquil, whatever the word for it is, so don't seem to kick up the mud that my little racer does. Being part Whippet she does like to do energetic spurts, usually after small critters, and off through muddy trails, and, like the back of cyclist that has no mud guards, the splatter is spectacular.
The only dogs that do rival her for pure filth of underbelly is my friend Jen's three and a half Shih Tzus (I say half because she has just foster-failed another dog which is half Shih Tzu and half Chihuahua, so it's teeny-weeny, and half the size of her others). They are very tidgy of leg so their little belly fur gathers up anything, and everything they walk over.
When we return from muddy wandering we have 3 options...
1 - If I know before we head out that she is likely to come back filthy I can prepare the Mud Daddy to be waiting at the front door, so that I can swoosh off the majority of the mud before she trails it into the house.
Most of the time though I am not that organised, so there have been desperate phone calls made to Damian as we are heading back home "Get the Mud Daddy ready!!"
2 - If the Mud Daddy is not at hand, the next option is the 'cloth'.
We have a selection of coloured cloths and old tea-towels that are just for Lilly's belly. Getting Lilly to hold still is like trying to wash ice-cream of a squirming child's face. It's been a struggle, but we are finally at the stage where I think she realises that if we don't do the cloth and towel technique there is only one other option....the dredded bath.
3 - The bath is not actually a having a bath, but being in the bath, lathered up with shampoos, with such sweet smelling aromas like Mango & Banana or Baby Fresh, and then showered off. If you saw the amount of mud and grit that lines the bath after we've finished you'd wonder if they could be any soil left in Leverhulme Park.
As a human I love a shower, but to Madam Lilly I think a shower is as near to torture as we could do without the RSPCA being called. We used to have a technique to get her upstairs and in the bath before she knew what was happening, but she has got wise to us now, and if she hasn't had a clean down, and we head upstairs she doesn't follow.
One night when Damian was away Lilly smelled like a bog monster, and looked as I imagine one would, so the bath was called for. I tried all sorts of fakery to tempt her upstairs, including sausage bangers, but she steadfastly refused to budge from the bottom of the stairs.
Eventually the matter was resolved by me heading down the stairs naked (so I didn't get my clothes covered with mud, not just some weird kink), and unceremoniously picking her up and hauling her stinky, muddy arse straight into the bathroom. She got cleaned, and then so did I!
Normally after showering we give her a good dry off, and then proceed to pop on her Dogrobes toweling robe. When she has this on she is no longer Lilly, she becomes Vera, because she reminds me of Vera Duckworth from Corrie (now I have no idea if Vera Duckworth ever wore a purple towelling dressing gown, but in my head she does). All I need now is to figure out how to fix a ciggie to hang out of her mouth, and I think she would be ready for a turn on those famous cobbled streets.
Once in her Vera outfit she proceeds to do a zoomie of the spare bedroom, and then heads downstairs for her post-bath treat, and then conks out on the chair in the lounge. Getting clean obviously tires her out.
Now that rainy Autumn has firmly set in I will definitely get to try out all those samples, so expect reviews to come flowing in.
