The
Mother’s Issue
Dedicated to the Mothers Who Slay Every Day
Fierce Focused SUCCESSFUL MOTHER-DAUGHTER-DUO TISHA & BABES THOMPSON
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PLUS Kahara Hodges “I’m a Reflection of my Mom”
Adrianne Chalepah How the Funny Mama Does it All & more
MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 1
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Contents April 2018
Welcome to the Issue 003
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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BEHIND THE ISSUE
006
EDITOR’S WELCOME
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MASTHEAD
check out what’s in this month’s issue we take you BTS of our Mother-&-Kiddo photo shoot in the park welcome to the Mother’s issue
who’s all on our team
The Edge
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GOING GRAPHIC WITH NATIVE GORILLA
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THE MOMENT: FIERCE HEART EARRINGS BY HOUSE OF HOWES
summer style requires rough and versatile pieces that’ll survive the adventures, and who better to prove that than mamas and their kiddos
House of Howes’ newest ear candy, the “Fierce Heart” collection, are our earrings of the moment
The Insider 015
STRONG MOTHER RAISING STRONG WARRIORS
this working mama is growing her own business while raising strong warriors in the process
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EVERY DAY IS MOTHER’S DAY: Q&A WITH LORI TAPAHONSO
a q&a with one mother who graciously shared her story and advice on the most laborious job a mother will ever have
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“I’M A REFLECTION OF MY MOM”
model, vocalist and (soon-to-be) college graduate Kahara Hodges’ love for her mother is beautiful
Features 022
FIERCE & FOCUSED
Tisha Thompson and her daughter Kiera “Babes” Thompson inspire business goals and slay together on the Mother’s Issue cover
On Radar
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FUNNY MAMA ADRIANNE CHALEPAH whether raising her boys, out on tour or working on her business, she does it all with ambition, kindness and a sense of humor
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Behind the Issue
Behind the Scenes of
Mother-&-Kiddo Photo Shoot in the Park BTS of that one time we invited all of the Native mamas we knew to the park for a photoshoot. Yes, that did happen! For this issue, we wanted to do a sort of story that featured moms and their kiddos being free and playful, a scene that’s sometimes difficult to capture on camera. Coincidentally, our friends at Native Gorilla (Lakota-owned apparel company) were coming out with a new Summer line of kids clothing and wanted our help in promoting the launch. From there, we decided to have a fashion photo shoot at a beautiful park on the outskirts of Denver, Colorado and invited our friends and their kiddos to join us. We had four beautiful families come out for the shoot: Tree and her two of three children Kayah and Bly; Emma and her baby (isn’t he the cutest!?); Lydia and her son Cyris; lastly, Sharon with her daughter Tehya (who knows how to pose with no help!). Every person, especially the kiddos, were excited to throw on some brand new swag for the shoot. The weather was amazingly beautiful and warm, with the sun setting behind the breathtaking mountain view. The sun was a little bright, but that didn’t stop any of us from having a fun time. Check out a few BTS photos to the right, additional photos on our website (nativemax.com) and check out the final pictures on page 9.
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^ BTS shot
^ Another group photo!
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Lavender Lullabies is a photography studio, unlike anything you have ever experienced - hidden away in Massena, NY USA. Our speciality is preserving the magic of childhood, from anticipation to arrival, and the growing years. In addition to providing gorgeously styled sessions with the highest detail of vividly colorful editing, Lavender Lullabies also features a luxury line of boutique home decor. www.lavender-lullabies.com
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MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 5
Editor's Welcome
We invite mamas and their kiddos to try on some new Native Gorilla threads for a fashion photo shoot.
To the Mamas Who Slay Every Day
W
elcome to the Mother’s issue! This issue is one we dedicate to the mamas who slay every day. We know that all mothers stress and, at times, feel like they’re not doing enough. That is why we were excited to get to work on the Mother’s Issue. We know handfuls of indigenous mothers who are doing amazing things not only for their families but their careers, businesses, and communities. We reached out to mothers who inspired us and asked for a peek into their daily lives and asked them to share their words of encouragement for other mamas like us. First up on our list was Mohawk businesswomen and beauty duos Tisha and Kiera “Babes” Thompson out of New York. The motherand-daughter team partnered up and launched their own cosmetics manufacture business and retail spot last year, building to their already growing beauty realm. What drew me to them was their humble but helpful attitudes who are
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always down to support other indigenous-owned businesses. They also give back to the youth by offering self-esteem building and inspiring workshops on their Akwesasne nation. I was excited to include my friend and fashion sister Norma Baker-Flying Horse, a designer out of North Dakota who makes beautiful designs. She’s not only building up her new business, but she’s also raising five strong warriors while working a full-time job. Another woman I was excited to feature was model, vocalist, and soon-to-be ASU graduate Kahara Hodges of Arizona. From following her on social media, I noticed the love and appreciation she had for her mother, Petra Reyes. I wanted to capture that for our readers. This issue is dedicated to all the indigenous mamas who slay everyday. Have a Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy the issue!
“We know handfuls of indigenous mothers who are doing amazing things not only for their families but their careers, businesses, and communities.”
Kelly Holmes Founder + Editor-in-Chief
@kellycamilleholmes @kellycamilleholmes @kellzholmes
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PROMOTION
KELLY HOLMES Founder + Editor-in-Chief @kellycamilleholmes Executive Assistant Tatiana Ybarra EDITORIAL Managing Editor Jacqueline Lina Brixey Staff Writer Rhonda “Tree” Mangan Staff Writer Johnnie Morris Staff Writer Kelly Bedoni CREATIVE Creative Director E-’cho Martin Director of Photography Zoe Friday Videographer Joey Little Bird Web Director Celeste Terry Staff Photographer Viki Eagle
Copyright Native Max & Other Media Ventures All rights reserved. All material in Native Max Magazine is wholly copyright and reproduction without the the written permission of the Publisher is strictly forbidden. Neither this publication nor its contents constitute an explicit endorsement by Native Max of the products or services mentioned in advertising or editorial content. Whilst every effort has been made to ensure accuracy, Native Max shall not have any liability for errors or omissions. We've done our best to acknowledge all photographers. In some instances photos have been provided to us by those who appear editorially and we have their permission in each case to use the images. We apologize if anything appears incorrectly. It will be a genuine mistake. Please let us know and we can give you a mention in the next issue.
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Dream Warriors is a collective of artists who believe in pursuing passions, dreams, and gifts to better loved ones and communities while also uplifting others.
Meet Our Dream Warriors:
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www.dreamwarriors.co 8 NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE | MAY 2018
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The Edge On Kayah: Flower Top, $25-$45 On Tree: Flow Long Dress, $50 On Bly: Bring Our Women Home Tee in Kids’, $20; all on nativegorilla.bigcartel.com
Going Graphic with Native Gorilla Summer style requires tough and versatile pieces that’ll survive the adventures, and who better to prove that than mamas and their kiddos.
Rhonda “Tree” (Diné) with her kiddos Kayah and Bly.
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MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 9
The Edge Emma (Eastern Shoshone / Meskwaki) with her baby Stacey.
On Emma: Bring Our Women Home Dolman Top, $25; Bracelet, price upon request On Stacey: Arrows Tee in Kids’, $20 all on nativegorilla.bigcartel.com
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The Edge On Lydia: Make America Native Again Tank, $25; NG Retro Trucker Hat, $20 On Bly: Gorilla Tee in Kids’, $20; all on nativegorilla.bigcartel. com
Lydia (Unkechaug / Blood) with her kiddo Cyris.
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MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 11
The Edge On Sharon: Native G Sweater Dress, $40; NG Beanie, $20 On Tehya: Gorilla Tank in Kids’, $20; Make America Native Again Hats, $29.99; all on nativegorilla.bigcartel. com
Sharon (Comanche Nation) with her kiddo Tehya.
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The Edge
The Fierce Heart-Mixed Media Earring in Fierce Heart Red, $32, houseofhowes. com
The Fierce Heart-Mixed Media Earring in Purple, $32, houseofhowes.com
The Fierce Heart-Mixed Media Earring in Red on Turquoise, $32, houseofhowes. com
The Fierce Heart-Mixed Media Earring in Fierce Heart Turquoise, $32, houseofhowes.com
The Moment: Fierce Heart Earrings by House of Howes PHOTOS: HOUSEOFHOWES.COM
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House of Howes’ newest ear candy, the “Fierce Heart” collection, are our earrings of the moment. Anishinaabe artist Sarah Agaton Howes is an Inspired Native collaborator who is all about thriving - not simply surviving. This is a value that shines through in her art, including these highly unique and contemporary The Fierce Heart earrings. This contemporary rendering of the
strawberry by Sarah was developed from a pencil drawing to a finalized product. In Ojibwemowin (the Ojibwe language), the strawberry is called Odemin or "Heart Berry". The design was inspired by a inside of a strawberry - revealed when the berry is sliced in half - and the
idea that having a fierce heart beating on the inside is a more significant key to happiness than even the most beautiful exterior. The Odemin is Sarah's signature motif, and it appears frequently in her handmade regalia and moccasins.
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The Insider T Strong Mother Raising Strong Warriors
he impact working mothers have on their children is phenomenal. Besides radiating empowerment and resiliency, their confidence and independence rub off on their children who watch their every move. Norma Baker-Flying Horse is a working mama who is not only building her own business from the ground up; she’s also raising strong warriors by instilling their rich indigenous culture into her children.
Norma Baker-Flying Horse is a working mama who is growing her own business and raising strong warriors in the process. PHOTOS BY KEYA CLAIRMONT
PLUS: EVERY DAY IS MOTHER’S DAY KAHARA HODGES: “I’M A REFLECTION OF MY MOM”
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MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 15
The Insider
Norma Baker-Flying Horse Hidatsa/Dakota/Assiniboine From juggling motherhood and a full-time job to growing her own business, meet strong mother Norma Baker-Flying Horse.
NORMA BAKER-FLYING HORSE: I am an enrolled member of the Hidatsa tribe of the Three Affiliated Tribes and a member of the Dakota Sioux and Assiniboine tribes. I currently live on the Fort Berthold Indian Reservation in North Dakota. NATIVE MAX: Where do you currently work? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: I currently work for the current Three Affiliated Tribal Government as an Executive Assistant to the CEO. I also own and run my own Native design business, Red Berry Woman.
backgrounds stationed in different places with my family, such as Alaska, Oklahoma, and Wyoming. I often found that these people were as interested in knowing more about my Native background as I was about theirs. There were two reactions I always seemed to come across growing up in different areas and my travels. One was people seemed surprised to find out Native Americans still existed, and two, that I was Native American at all as I don’t look like the “typical” Native American that many people see portrayed by Hollywood. NATIVE MAX: What’s it like being a working mama?
NATIVE MAX: What are you most passionate about? How does that help your business?
BAKER-FLYING HORSE: I became a full-time mom to four children in 2009 when I married my husband, Elmer Flying Horse Sr. They ranged from age 13 on down to age 6. I was working for my Tribal Court as the Juvenile Court Director then, so I was working a demanding job and having to keep up with school activities, day-to-day stuff, and maintain a home alongside my husband who was also working and still works as a sergeant for our tribal jail. We manage to keep up with our kids, even with powwows where all our children, myself and husband participate. I think the only days it became hard were when I couldn’t be in two places at once, so missing a few school events was expected. It wasn’t until this past November 2017 that I gave birth to my first child, my son Connor. My two eldest daughters are both living on their own and working, so it’s now my 17-year-old, my 13-year-old, and my baby. I currently work for our tribal government as an executive assistant and recently started my fashion line. Between juggling baby diapers, school functions and my work with the tribe, I’m trying to keep up with fashion shows and keeping people dressed in my Red Berry Woman line.
BAKER-FLYING HORSE: I lived in various areas growing up as an “army brat.” I saw different cultures and
NATIVE MAX: How difficult is it to juggle motherhood and your careers? How important is it to put mother-
NATIVE MAX: Tell us about your business. When did you start your business? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: My design work for my line consists of everyday clothing and formal wear which incorporate Native American cultural aesthetics. My clothing line’s purpose is to represent who we were and are as Native people while embracing the everyday clothing that was forced upon us during the creation of reservations and the boarding school era. I started my business three years ago in 2016. NATIVE MAX: Why is your business needed in Indian Country? What are the problems your business solves? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: My business showcases the beauty and talent of our traditional garments while allowing people to represent through fashion our tribal affiliations and traditions.
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hood first? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: Some days are harder than others, but none of what I do day-to-day with my kids, work, and fashion would be possible without the help of my husband and my children who are growing into strong young adults. My husband and I remain busy but always take the time to speak to and with our children. That is the key to being a working mom; knowing when to take advantage of the moments you get to talk. My time with my children is limited being a working mom of not only one job, but of two. So when I get time with them, whether it’s in the car or eating supper, I try to talk with them about what’s going on in life and remind them that even though I’m busy, I’m never too busy for them. NATIVE MAX: What is the one thing you wish to teach your children about being a working mama? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: I believe children learn by not only what you tell them but what you show them. My children have watched me work hard to earn a living in the judicial field and tribal government, as well as watching me start my fashion line which can come with a lot of criticism. How I’ve handled all of this shows my kids the importance of both putting in the hard work and chasing your dreams. Whatever my children decide to do, I want them to be happy, healthy, and prosperous. NATIVE MAX: What’s your word of advice to any working mamas out there? BAKER-FLYING HORSE: Don’t forget yourself. You sometimes have to be your own cheerleader and remember that if you are doing your best to raise and provide for your children, you are doing a great job and deserve to be applauded, even if it’s your own applause.
NORMA BAKER-FLYING HORSE & FAMILY: KEYA CLAIRMONT
NATIVE MAX: What’s your tribe? Where are you from?
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The Insider
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MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 17
The Insider
Every Day is Mother’s Day Here is a Q&A of one mother who graciously shared her story and advice in the most laborious job a mother will ever have. BY RHONDA TREE MANGAN
Lori, please tell us about yourself. (Lori begins her story with how the Diné introduces themselves.) Yá’át’ééh shik’éí dóó shidine’é. Shí éí Lori Tapahonso yinishyé. Tódik’ozhi nishłį́, ‘Áshįįhi bashishchiin, Tódich’ii’nii dashicheii, Naakai dine’e dó Acoma Eagle clan dashinalí. Ákót’éego diné asdzáán nishłį́. Tsé Bit’a’í déé’ naashá. Hello, my family and my people. I’m Lori Tapahonso and am born to the Salt Water Clan and am born for the Salt Clan. My maternal grandfather is of the Bitterwater Clan. My paternal grandfather is of the Mexican People Clan. I was also raised by the Eagle Clan of the Acoma Pueblo. This is how I am known as a Navajo woman. The Rock with Wings is where I am from. My journey is to this very day is an interesting one. I grew up in Shiprock, NM, but spent the majority of my life in and around the Haskell University community in Lawrence, KS. I was drawn to the Midwest at 18 as I chased my theatre stage dreams straight to, what was then called, Haskell Indian Junior College. This is where my life’s endurance training began, so pay close attention. In the last semester at Haskell, I got married and had my oldest daughter, Chamisa Bah Edmo. My college professors still remember her as a quiet, content baby that intently listened during the lectures she attended with me. Yes, I was that young mom that insisted “I don’t trust anyone with my child,” but in reality, I couldn’t afford childcare. I remember talking with my brand new baby before class as softly and clearly as I could, “we’re going to class now. You have everything you need, so let’s get through this together and quietly.” My family always told us not to talk baby talk to our kids. We should instead talk to them like the intelligent humans they are. I graduated with an Associate’s of Arts in Liberal Arts with an emphasis in theatre at 20 years old. With the birth of my youngest daughter, Briana Nezbah Edmo, I was a mom of two by the time I was 21. Both of my daughters were not planned in this life, but part of a much higher, more important plan for my life. Right after Haskell, I started my bachelor’s degree at the University of Kansas in Broadcast Journalism. By the time I was 24, I was 8 hours from my degree, divorced, a domestic abuse survivor, and the sole provider for my daughters. I also wouldn’t have the courage to finish my degree for another eight years. In hindsight, I wouldn’t change a thing. If I spent my time on regret and resentment, it would diminish the personal, emotional, and spiritual strength I gained during those difficult times. In other words, I learned the valuable lesson there are no bad experiences, only opportunities for growth. In 2002, I graduated from the University of Kansas with a bachelor’s
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degree in Communication Studies with a minor in Broadcast Journalism. I also reunited with an old college friend who would later become my husband. In 2009, I graduated from Baker University with a master’s degree in Liberal Arts – Management and Leadership. And most significantly that year, I married my best friend, Jimmy Snyder.
What does Mother’s Day mean to you? What I’ve learned in my 40+ years as a daughter and my 20+ years as a mother, is that every day is Mother’s Day in most indigenous communities. It begins with our earliest lessons of reverence to our Mother Earth. We begin to understand that all life stems from a mother. We learn that most Indigenous household’s center around the female, mother energies. In many Indigenous communities, the matriarchs anchor a family legacy, even after they are no longer with us in the physical world. They become a standard to our success. We often hear statements such as, “In doing this, I know my grandmother/ mother would be proud.” I my own life, as a daughter and granddaughter, in each step, each interaction, each success, each failure, I say to myself, what would my mother and grandmother think? Ultimately, how I move about in the world is a direct reflection on my lineage; the lineage that runs through the matriarchs in our family, quite literally. The women carry the Navajo clan system. When I speak or teach non-Navajo people, I describe our clan system lineage as being similar to the lineage of European surnames. For the Diné, the clans begin and end with the female. So, to answer your question, every day is Mother’s Day in the life of Indigenous women. The essences of the breath we take, the thoughts we think, and our daily actions, demonstrate the steadfast respect and reverence we have for the women and mothers in our lives. What challenges & triumphs did you face? Being a young mother was both rewarding and challenging. I was a fiercely independent child that grew into a fiercely independent woman. This means that, for good or bad, I had to figure everything out on my own. As a young mother, I learned pretty quickly that a stable support system was my only saving grace. I relied on family to help guide my daughters and me. I remember looking at my young children, who are only 18 months apart, and thinking that the only thing that mattered was sending out “good people” into the world. Everything I did was with that goal in mind. I knew that they watched me first as a guide to how to maneuver in the world. I knew that they gauged their actions based on their first teacher, me. What this meant was that I had to be careful how I move through this world. Their eyes were always watching. If I wanted them to treat people with respect, I had to treat people with respect. If I wanted them to show kindness, I had to explain kindness. If I wanted them to persevere through life’s challenges, I had to demonstrate to them how to do it first. I knew that their most important life’s lessons began with me, their mom. Please understand, being a mother was not all roses and glitter. There were the terrible twos, threes, and tweens. There were two teenage daughters
LORI TAPAHONSO: EDWARD MCCOMB
M
other’s Day is a day to celebrate women who we call mom. The women who were there when we cried when we laughed and all the in-between’s of life. It is difficult journey raising children, and with the help of the village, we send our hearts off into the world.
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The Insider under the same roof! At times, we all cried in frustration behind closed doors in different rooms. In those difficult times, I leaned on my family. I knew who to call to save me, save them, save our sanity. There is no “mom manual,” at least not one that I’ve found. We have to figure it out on our own. But, we never have to do it alone. How did you raise your girls & how did you balance the traditional world versus the assimilated world? My girls were raised in Lawrence, KS. Because we were so far from home (New Mexico), I made sure family surrounded them. My three sisters were a constant in their lives. They were not only accountable to their mom; they were accountable to their aunties and their uncles. Many desperate phone calls were asking one of them to help. Just the mention of going to see an auntie or uncle was enough to stop the fits, most times. Now, my sisters and their uncles were never mean or abusive. Most of the time, the girls just sat there quietly as their family members went about their business. But, they knew they were there for a reason. Most of the time, they came to their conclusion and could promptly detail why and how to correct it when asked by their auntie or uncle. For me, this approach was natural. I grew up with aunties and uncles to whom I was accountable. I knew it would break their hearts if they found out that I was misbehaving or acting out. They disciplined me but always reinforced by my parents. This instinctual way of raising my girls is how Navajo and native families have raised their children for generations. The parents or single moms are never alone. The family becomes bumper pads to life’s path. I have been blessed to be counted an auntie to many children, blood and heart-related. I have received those desperate calls. I have stepped up to help. What is most rewarding is seeing my adult daughters do the same. They answer those calls and selflessly assist when needed. They have already influenced the lives of the children who now call them auntie. So today, when I look at the strong, educated, compassionate women my daughters have become, I always first thank their aunties and uncles. How did you balance your life – as an individual, motherhood, profession?
A lot of mothers always think, “I’m not doing enough” or “I’m not a good mother” If this has gone through your mind, how did you change that mindset? We all struggle with insecurities, especially when it comes to motherhood. I’ve had my bouts of self-judgment. In hindsight, I’ve found that my most critical moments are when I’ve compared myself or allowed someone else to compare me to others. As I said earlier, there is no “mom handbook.” This means there is no right way or wrong way to raise a child. Moms of large families will say that even children in the same family have different needs. We learn to give our children what they need through trial and error. I know I did. My girls were so different in personality that the same approach did not always work for both. We just figured it out as time went on. I genuinely believe those biggest obstacles we put in front of ourselves is when we measure ourselves, our children, our families against others. It’s also equally damaging when we judge another.
EVERY DAY IS MOTHER’S DAY IN MOST INDIGENOUS COMMUNITIES. IT BEGINS WITH OUR EARLIEST LESSONS OF REVERENCE TO OUR MOTHER EARTH, THAT ALL LIFE STEMS FROM A MOTHER. WE LEARN THAT MOST INDIGENOUS HOUSEHOLD’S CENTER AROUND THE FEMALE, MOTHER ENERGIES.
This is a difficult question to answer, maybe because finding balance is one of the toughest things to do. When my daughters were young, I was their sole provider. I only had my income to rely on, so I worked hard to make my ends meet. This meant long, hard hours in my office with kids and bagged dinners in tow. In those early years, I made sure that school activities and cultural events were a priority. But, in my personal life, I was a mess. I didn’t believe I’d ever been worthy of love. I didn’t think I’d ever finish my degree. I didn’t believe in myself. I remember a defining day. I was the program manager at a beautiful Native American mentorship program in Kansas City. Our goal was to help our urban Native students graduate from high school and realize the importance of a college education. I remember answering questions about college from a young woman in our program. She asked me how to know what degrees are right for you. Then she asked me how to use your degree afterward; she was interested in history. While I answered her questions as best I could, I had a moment of clarity where I thought, “yes, those are my questions too!” I hadn’t finished my degree. I had no idea how I got that far off track from my personal goals. Going to college and completing my college degree was why I moved to Lawrence, KS in the first place. After a few months of soul-searching, I took a leap of faith and applied back to college. Most importantly, I made my goals and my success a priority. For most moms, putting yourself first sounds counterintuitive. But, it’s necessary. You can’t water your seeds if your pitcher is empty. As mom’s, we are the essential water vessels. When I think back, I don’t know how long I would have been able to keep burning my candle at both ends. I was running on empty for so long that it seemed like “struggle” was my normal. I had to start thinking that by making my success a priority, my family would succeed. They would benefit from the higher paying job that I would be able to get. They would benefit from having me around more because of the better working hours. They would benefit from learning how to achieve goals, no matter how difficult they are. They would benefit from having a happier me. When my girls were young, they watched me learn to find balance. And as young adults, they now often remind me when I forget. It was my daughters that urged me to begin my jewelry business; Love Adorned by Lori Tazbah. I used to make jewelry for them as a stress reliever. I knew the pieces I made
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couldn’t be perfect, which was opposite of how I engaged professionally. I could let my guard down and allow the beauty of my jewelry take form. It was my therapy. I remember the day my daughter sat me down at the computer and said, “Look, you now have an online store!” I remember chuckling and saying, “Who on earth would want to buy the jewelry I make?!” Low and behold, I’m now years in and am still having fun. The best part is when I look at a finished piece of jewelry and can sit back and admire the perfection of the finished product knowing the struggle, hurt, and sometimes tears, which it took to create it. Yup, just like life. At all costs, find your joy and use that to help find a balance. It can be sewing, dancing, fitness, acting (my other love), or anything that brings you happiness. Use it to balance out the struggles in life. When feeling like you’re at your lowest, use that one thing to bring you back to center. It’s free, and it’s yours.
I wrote this piece a few years ago in a flurry of thought. When I was done, I was taken aback in my chair:
~Hindsight Blind~ I went for a drive one summer evening in New Mexico. As I drove, I killed a million mice in the attic of my mind. The same thoughts kept me captive. I revisited memories of a few good friends, but no one in particular. Just this mental collage of “thems” and “they.” They push and pull through life. They painfully grind through the silky fabric of their existence. As I drove along, I felt an overwhelming urge to tell them... just be.
I understood this to mean: There is no need to make life fit into your skewed little box, with all the rules that box you in and keep contentment out. It’s OK just to let go of the control and let it be. For me, just the thought of such action created such a euphoric feeling; so free, so limitless and so happy. What was interesting was in that moment of non-judgment of myself, I realized that that very lesson was actually...for me. Advice to new mother’s: Being a mother is the most difficult and the most rewarding job you’ll ever have. Here are a few things I wish I heard before becoming a mom: 1. Be humble in your approach. If you make a mistake with your children, say sorry. They learn about responsibility and humility from us. There is no greater lesson to a child than to validate their worth through an apology. 2. Don’t worry too much about doing it wrong. If it doesn’t turn out as expected, just be thankful for the first try and do it again better next time. 3. When all else fails, lean on your support system. That system can be family, or it can be the friends you choose to become your family. Remember, you never have to struggle through parenthood alone. Someone has already done it, experienced it, and survived through it. Borrow their wisdom. Lori Tapahonso (Diné) is a public relations specialist, a teacher, a consultant, a storyteller, a jeweler, and an actor. She is the daughter of Luci Tapahonso and Robert Martin of Santa Fe; and Earl Ortiz of Acoma. She is the granddaughter of Lucille Deschenne and Eugene Tapahonso of Shiprock; and Mamie and Joseph Ortiz of Acoma.
MAY 2018 | NATIVE MAX MAGAZINE 19
The Insider
“I’m a Reflection of my Mom” Model, vocalist and (soon-to-be) college graduate KAHARA HODGES’ love for her mother is beautiful. BY KELLY HOLMES
ONE WOULD SAY THAT KAHARA HODGES (Diné) has everything going for her. Not only is she a member of Black Eyed Peas’ Tabooled group Magnificent Seven (they scored a VMA!) but she’s a rookie model on the rise and a soon-to-be graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in American Indian Studies. Little did we know that Hodges has been working hard for everything happening to her since she was a little girl, with the love and support of her mother, Petra Reyes. >>> Kahara Hodges’ mother Petra Reyes, Kahara and her sister Zoey. Photo by Larry Price
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Kahara and her mother Petra for B.YELLOWTAIL. Photo by Nando Esparza
“Words can’t describe the amount of love and gratitude I have for her.”
k
ahara Hodges just wrapped up her last essay of the year, the final milestone before graduating from Arizona State University with a Bachelor’s degree in American Indian Studies at the end of this month. “I’m so excited!” she tells me over the phone from her Phoenix, AZ home. She hopes to continue using her education by helping out at the Phoenix Indian Center in Phoenix, a place where she's been going to since childhood. The 22-year-old recalls going to the Phoenix Indian Center since she was little, around the same time her mother, Petra Reyes, wanted to teach her daughters about their Diné culture. Hodges’ and her family are from Ganado, AZ, but she grew up in the Phoenix area. Petra encouraged Hodges and her sister, Zoey, to partake in extracurricular activities such as art classes, dance lessons and after-school programs, which helped them understand the importance of responsibilities and relationships. “Being in those programs affected my life and set a good foundation for how important it is to mold and develop into adults.” Hodges knew she had to excel in school and needed the scholarship to go to college. “Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I had to excel in school because I come from a low-income family and I knew the struggle of making it to college.” Hodges ended up scoring a spot for a scholarship and became a Millenium Gates scholar. “I got the notification that I was selected on my way from ceremony.” She jokes, “I’m so grateful for Uncle Bill and Auntie Melinda [Gates]. It was exciting.” Therefore, it’s no surprise that Hodges worked her way into ASU where she joined an all-female acapella group called Pitchforks. “The movie ‘Pitch Perfect’ was my life,” she laughs. “It was so much fun. I loved being apart of the sisterhood.” Also taking part in the ASU gospel choir was where she was able to connect her African American roots with those of her Diné culture. “My voice is soulful, so it was amazing for me to join this choir because I felt this very personal presence,” she explains. “I understood myself more, and it helped me as a professional vocalist.” Music has always been a significant part of Hodges’ life. Joining a Navajo singing class at the Phoenix Indian Center as a child and learning the Diné language and songs was when she discovered her talent for singing. “That’s when I found out I loved to perform. I love to sing.” Music has allowed Hodges to travel the world and represent her Diné nation. “I’m multicultural, and one thing that I recognized when I joined choir was my love for music. Music is a universal language, and it’s what connects us.” Hodges participated in the 2013 Arizona Ambassadors of Music Tour as a vocalist years ago, which gave her the opportunity to travel and perform throughout Europe. “When we found out I was selected, I was excited yet sad because I knew this trip wasn’t happening because it was expensive.” That didn’t deter Petra, who fundraised for Hodges’ trip. “Through fundraising, we were able to reach out goals and made it possible. My mom gave it her all and made it pos-
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sible for me.” Hodges’ budding musical career continued, performing with the Phoenixbased Native American band Clan/destine upon returning from her Europe trip. “It was awesome because I experienced what gigs and rehearsals were like.” Hodges also performed the national anthem in the Diné language throughout the valley at schools, games and special events. She credits her Europe tour and performing with Clan/destine for adding to her experience, allowing her to perform with such poise at a young age. Traveling has opened her eyes to the world, inspiring Hodges to learn more about different cultures. “I love to travel. I believe in learning about cultures through travel.” Hodges is also a sort of social media influencer, with her modeling photos and posts garnering hundreds if not thousands of likes. Modeling wasn’t something Hodges considered doing professionally, despite being told she should try out modeling by friends and family. “Didn’t think of it too much” she laughs. Then, Petra came across a model call for Bethany Yellowtail’s fashion show at the Heard Museum. “She messaged my pictures in, and Bethany was like, ‘of course!’” Hodges has been modeling ever since, for about four years now, with the first three years consisting of runway shows throughout Indian Country. Hodges shares with me that she’ll officially be living in Los Angeles starting in June to pursue modeling and music full-time. Three months ago, Hodges signed with NEXT Management, a global fashion management agency. Since then, she’s been developing and building up her portfolio from scratch. Despite the official model status signed to a global agency, Hodges remains humble and modest. “I’m still a rookie in this industry,” she laughs. “I’m excited about this.” She explains that there’s a difference in being confident and being cocky. “There’s always room for development and growth. I don't like thinking you already reached your peak. There’s always room for developing.” She started working on her musical projects two months ago, which is the first time in a studio. “I love being in the studio. I can spend hours or days in the studio creating.” More recently, Hodges made a cameo in the famous VMAwinning music video and track for Stand Up / Stand N Rock #NoDAPL by Magnificent Seven, where she lent her vocals to the hooks. “That was amazing and deserving.” Taboo, who is Hodges’ mentor, invited her to be apart of the group Magnificent Seven. “In the midst of creating music and an album, we’ll be performing and sharing our talents as a collective of indigenous MC’s and vocalists around the country, even on an international level.” Hodges’ healing has been reclaiming and revitalizing her identity and credits the blessings of her life to focusing on her spiritual wellness and walking the red path. “Because of that, I will always recognize the importance of my role. As long as I keep nurturing my identity and culture.” Another goal of hers is to continue learning the Diné language and songs, so they don’t disappear. “My kids speaking Diné is a part of the legacy that I want to leave behind.” Hodges admits that learning her Diné culture and teaching it to her future children will undo the damage of colonization caused by the boarding school era. Her mother didn’t have the chance to thoroughly learn the stories and teachings because of the language barriers and historical trauma. “When you’re taught that your language is bad and it’s related to pain or punishment, it’s no surprise that my mom isn’t a fluent speaker.” That’s why Petra signed up her daughters for Diné culture and heritage classes. The love and appreciation for her mother Petra shine through photos of the pair, social media posts, and even through the phone conversation. “I love my mom. The relationship we have now is not so much where she needs to raise me, but she can just relate to me.” She laughs, “even though she’s my mama bear, she’s honestly my best friend, and we’ll be cute little old grandmas together because words can’t describe the amount of love and gratitude I have for her.” Hodges says that her life has been a crazy journey so far and that everything that has blessed her life is the result of hard work. “It’s an amazing life, and I’m so grateful for everything in my life.” She also attributes her success and blessings to her mother. “I’m so grateful for my mom and my amazing support system,” she explains. “She dedicated everything to my sister and me.” Since her and her sister Zoey was born, Petra helped mold them into the best versions of themselves. “The support my mom sends to me, and for me to able to reflect that back to her, it’s a beautiful thing. I'm a reflection of my mother.”
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Cover Story
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Fierce Focused Fierce and focused mother-daughter duo Tisha Thompson and Kiera “Babes” Thompson inspire business goals and slay together on the Mother’s Issue cover.
STORY BY KELLY HOLMES PHOTOS BY MARINA LABAFF MAKEUP BY TISHA THOMPSON HAIR BY ALANNA OAKES DESIGNS & JEWELRY BY NIIO PERKINS
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Tisha and Kiera Thompson. A fierce and focused mother-and-daughter beauty duo and a pair of entrepreneurs from the Akwesasne Mohawk tribe located in upstate New York, Ontario and Quebec. I first met matriarch Tisha during a search for like-minded creatives in the Philadelphia-area when she answered my casting call. Her joyful and exuberant personality was the first thing I noticed about her. From then on Tisha and I have remained in touch, periodically partnering up on collaborations such as photo shoots, magazine features, and makeup collections. Tisha is an experienced entrepreneur with a variety of businesses and ventures under her belt, most notably Babes Cosmetics (named after Kiera’s nickname “Babes”). The working mom juggles her duties and family with such ease; it’s no wonder that her children --which range from 12-26 years of age-- followed in her footsteps. Tisha is a mother of four go-getters: 26-year-old professional lacrosse player Ty; 22-year-old daughter and business partner Babes; 20-year-old future college student Thomas and 12-year-old Dallan. Tisha is extremely proud of Ty, who currently plays professional lacrosse for the Dallas Rattlers. “I’m proud that he chased his dream and is doing what he loves.” Native Max sat down with the duo where they shared what it’s like to run a makeup business and dished out words of encouragement. On starting their own makeup company: Tisha has always been a hairdresser over the years, then decided to add makeup artistry to her repertoire. A few years ago, Tisha met David and Julie, a couple with their makeup manufacturing company. According to Tisha, David is a chemist who started his company 16 years ago in Montreal, Quebec. “He approached me and told me he saw the same passion in me that he has for makeup,” Tisha remembers. “He taught us everything we knew.” After teaching Tisha and Babes how to manufacture makeup and maintain a beauty business, David sold his company to Tisha and returned to his homeland of Malaysia. “We moved the company to Cornwall Island Akwesasne, located in Ontario province.”
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Tisha now has a retail space where her and her team not only manufacture and market cosmetics but sell to customers as well. At their swanky space, Tisha also offers services and makeup classes, including free workshops for the youth such as runway modeling. On running the business: Tisha runs the finances, fulfills orders and facilitates the makeup classes, while Babes manufactures cosmetics, works at the store and preps the photoshoots that take place in their shop. On dealing with the struggles of running a business: There are certainly struggles to for building and maintaining a company but for Tisha and Babes, the rewards remarkably outweigh the struggles. “The best part of building this business is that we get to do it together” Tisha says. “I enjoy owning a business with my mom, and it’s rewarding, and fun” Babes adds. Tisha explains that they’re able to market to women across a wide range of ages, as Babes knows what her age group likes. On helping each other: The pair also admit that their different personalities and tastes help balance the business. “We are very close, we do have our different opinions on things, but that’s what helps balance us” Tisha explains. Babes agrees. “My mom and I balance each other within the business because I enjoy creating and making the makeup and my mom enjoys applying the makeup.” On the future: Tisha hopes to hand off her makeup company to Babes in the future. “She’s my best friend, and I wouldn’t want to be partners with anyone else. I hope one day that she will take over and run the whole company.” On how their love for each other shines: The love the mother and daughter have for each other shines through everything they do together, from family events to the business. “We often do shoots together and use her pictures for advertising for our company.” Tisha adds, “I think that’s the fun part for me for photo shoots, doing makeup and hair and seeing the results. When you don’t feel like you’re doing enough as a mother: I feel the same way sometimes. I try and spend as much time with my kids as I can. Talk to them all the time as I always want them to know I’ll always be there for them. All you can do is be the best mom you can be, and at some point, I can’t wait to be a grandmother. Babes, when asked to describe her mom in 3 words: Amazing, hardworking and selfless.
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On Radar Funny Mama Adrianne Chalepah Whether raising her boys, out on tour or working on her business, comedian and entrepreneur Adrianne Chalepah does it all ambition, kindness and a sense of humor.
Photo: Courtesy
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On Radar
At the helm of Indian Country’s first-ever Native American female comedy group Ladies of Native Comedy along with being a member of star-packed 49 Laughs Comedy, Adrianne Chalepah is the definition of a working mom. We admire the hard work and dedication she puts into raising her sons into kind men and pursuing her comedy career, which is why we decided to sit down with Adrianne about balancing motherhood. NATIVE MAX: What’s your tribe? Where are you from? I’m enrolled Kiowa but also Apache of Oklahoma. Kiowa/Apache for short. Depending on my mood, I’m from Anadarko, Oklahoma. Also from Lawton, Cache, and Zoletone. I’m from all of Southwest Oklahoma.
challenge and feel blessed. My only advice is to take things one day at a time. Be kind and patient with yourself. Continue to work towards your goals and never give up and never compare yourself to others. Just do you, boo boo. We got this!
NATIVE MAX: We know you’re a comedian, but what do you all do currently? I do stand up comedy. I’m a member of two excellent groups - 49 Laughs Comedy alongside James Junes, Ernest David Tsosie, Tatanka Means, and Pax Harvey. I’m also the founder of Ladies of Native Comedy alongside Teresa Choyguha and Deanna MAD. I also do keynote speaking, workshops, and writing.
NATIVE MAX: What is the one thing you wish to teach your children about being a working mom? I am raising four boys, so I feel a broad sense of responsibility to raise boys who are kind, emotional, caring, and respectful of others - especially women, children, and elders. I teach them to empathize with me - to care for me when I’m sick, to clean our home, to help cook, to take care of one another, to be responsible when I’m gone on the road, to cry when they feel sad, to express themselves when they are angry. I guess the one thing I want to teach them is how to love. Of course, I’m battling a lot of other influences that I can’t control like society, media, and other family members who may differ in their dealings with children, as well as my demons from my childhood.
NATIVE MAX: What’s it like being a working mom? It’s crazy hard. Parenting is hard enough. Then throw personal career goals on top of that, and it feels impossible at times. I am always feeling like I’m failing miserably in at least one area, in not all areas, at any given moment. Then my sons will do something incredible, and I felt proud and reassured that I’m doing the best I can. NATIVE MAX: Being a working mom is such a delicate balance. How do you balance motherhood and your career? I knew at a young age that I was ambitious. In high school, I told everyone I was going to be the first Native president of the U.S. Haha I was crazy. I’m a dreamer, and I refuse to stop. Sometimes I wish I was “normal” and could sit still. I fantasize about my children having a “normal mom” and how awesome I would be at meal prep and home decor. Then I accept that I have to be myself. Having children and motherhood was never a part of my ambitions and dreams, yet the Creator(s) chose this path for me. I have humbly accepted the
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NATIVE MAX: You’re funny onstage, do you bring that same comedic humor back home with you? I’m not as funny at home. At home, I’m strict and provide structure. But I do like to laugh and joke with my boys. They have a remarkable sense of humor, too. I try to laugh a little each day at home because I want my boys to remember me by my smile and not how stressed I get. NATIVE MAX: Why is that important? It’s important to show our kids that laughter has value. I have one son who can’t be serious about anything. He is always joking, and I fear he might be turning into a class clown. I fear that path for him because I know how much trouble our mouths get us in until we learn
how to use our smart ass mouth for something good. NATIVE MAX: How do you instill culture into your children? Why is it important to do so? Culture is what keeps us rooted. Without our indigenous knowledge, we wouldn’t have survived genocide. I teach my boys as much as I can, acknowledging that I am still learning myself. I depend on other family members to fill in the gaps. Indigenous knowledge is in a constant state of resurrection and decolonization. I look forward to the day when my sons are teaching me things about our culture. They will be the teachers one day. For now, I show them simple things for example how to smudge and pray, what their long hair means, how to act at night and during storms, and of course, language is one of the hardest areas to continue. Neither my husband or I am fluent speakers, and so we need to work extra hard in this area. It’s a work in progress. NATIVE MAX: What do you want all working moms out there to know? Take care of yourself. It is so hard to nurture others when we don’t nurture ourselves. This is something I struggle with too. I put my health on the back burner so that my kids can have a home-cooked meal. I don’t sleep as much as I should. But I am learning. Self-love isn’t natural when all you’ve seen and been taught is self-abuse. My most significant motivation is my kids and being an example for them. So, have the kids eat sandwiches (or salad!) every once in awhile and go for a walk by yourself or get a pedicure if you can afford it, or call a friend and laugh about old times. You need it and deserve it. Keep up with Adrianne and her adventures by following her at Facebook.com/adriannecomedy.
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Until Later Artwork by Crystal Starr Szczepanski
Happy Mother’s Day -Native Max team
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