Wisdom Begins with a Word by Carol Castillo

Deep Cleanse from Shame

Cleanses have become a popular nutritional trend over the past several years. Juice cleanse; water cleanse; green tea cleanse: all are an arguably debatable approach to remove toxins from the body, lose weight, and promote health. While focusing on physical health is important, sometimes we need to take time out for a deep spiritual cleanse from shame.

Shame is one of the worst psychological toxins. It damages identity, warps self-esteem, and holds us back from accomplishing God’s will in our lives. Its presence is insidious, hiding in cracks and burrowing into crevices. Often you aren’t even consciously aware of its presence.

Shame perches like a black raven in our hearts, talons dug deep, as it murmurs an endless loop of hurtful words from others…and from yourself. Shame convinces you that you are not enough. It cripples your sense of adequacy and promotes feelings of being unloved, unwanted, and “less than.”

In the Beginning

Adam and Eve were innocent, having no sin or guilt prior to the Fall. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Gen. 2:25). Once they sinned, they felt vulnerable and guilty, shamed and exposed, and tried to cover up their naked guilt on their own (Gen.3:7). But God in His grace and mercy, covered their guilt and shame with an animal blood sacrifice, which freed them from sin and allowed them to enjoy renewed fellowship with God.

Feeling Guilty

“Adam and Eve Driven out of Eden” by Gustave Doré

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Adam_and_Eve_Driven_out_of_Eden.png

But shouldn’t Adam and Eve have felt guilty? They were, after all, guilty of committing the sin of disobedience. Of the fruit of the tree, God said in essence, don’t eat that. And they ate it anyway.

Their disobedience produced guilt, which is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for a real offense, crime or wrong. Guilt arose from their actions. So yes, guilt was an appropriate state for them to experience.

Feeling Ashamed

Guilt and shame often go hand in hand but there is a critical difference. Guilt says, “I did something bad.” It’s healthy to recognize when you have done something bad (guilt), because God offers an appropriate resolution: accept responsibility, ask forgiveness, make amends, repair and restore, learn from the error.

Unlike guilt, which is about what you did, shame is about who you are. Shame says, “I am bad.” Shame is identity-based. It’s unhealthy to internalize the wrong and draw negative conclusions about who you are based on the wrong you did.

In fact, shame doesn’t even need a wrong committed to make its appearance. All you have to do is fail to live up to your own, or someone else’s expectations. Shame then brainwashes you into believing that whatever you did or failed to do is proof that you're an unacceptable, inferior, or defective person, worthy of contempt.

Furthermore, you will never be good enough. God will never love you. God will never use you.

You are flawed.

You are hopeless.

Trapped by Shame

Once you believe those lies, shame becomes a snare, impossible to move past. Instead you start living with a shame-based identity. Let’s look at some ways that can influence your life.

Some people, particularly men, tend to "act out" through heightened anger and violent behavior toward others.

Others, especially women, "act in" by keeping their emotions wrapped up tightly inside and being super critical of themselves.

Shamed-based people avoid relationships and isolate from community. They fear showing their true (damaged and broken) selves to the world.

Shame can result in perfectionism, the belief that if I am perfect, then no one will criticize me, and I can hide from the possibility of failure and rejection.

All these behaviors sabotage opportunities to grow and derail anything God wants to do to bless us. Because despite being forgiven by Jesus, cleansed from sin by the sacrifice of His blood, and renewed by the infilling of the Holy Spirit, many of us still battle with shame.

Outwardly you appear like you have it all together, being freed from sin and forgiven; but inwardly you are still vulnerable to shame by believing something that is not true about you.

The Temptation of Jesus

“The Temptation by the Devil” by Gustave Doré

https://www.wikiart.org/en/gustave-dore/the-temptation-of-jesus

After Jesus was baptized, the Bible says that the Spirit “immediately” led Jesus into the wilderness. (Matthew 4:1-11) Jesus ate nothing for 40 days. He was alone, tired, hungry, thirsty.

Two of the three times the devil tempted Jesus, he began with “IF you are the Son of God.” He did not tempt Jesus directly with sin. Instead, he called His identity into question. He invited Jesus to doubt who He was in God.

“If you are the Son of God . . . turn these stones into bread.” “If you are the Son of God . . . throw yourself down from the temple.” “If you are the one destined to rule the world, bow down and worship me and I’ll give you what you want.”

Daily we are tempted to prove our worth the same way. The satanic message of doubt also approaches us when we are weak, at low ebb, isolated, in need.

Satan wants to get you to base your identity on something about you. Anything – good or bad. How well-liked you are. What your job title is. How successful your kids are. What kind of car your drive. Your physical appearance. Your talents.

Shame also tries to embed something that happened to us—even years ago—into our identity and make it relevant to today. Past trauma can make us lose sight of our sense of self due to being mistreated, abused, violated, rejected, abandoned, or attacked at the hands of others. Often we try to keep past trauma buried in a dark cave; the trauma may be dead but shame lives on in secrecy and silence.

All this distracts you from the gospel message that in Christ we have the final approval of the only One whose opinion really matters.

How to Heal from Shame

The only way to heal from shame is to move the focus off who you are and onto Whose you are.

You will never be enough. You will always be flawed. You will fail. There is truth to all that.

But it’s not the whole truth.

God’s truth about who you are trumps everything else.

God says:

“You were bought with a price” “(You are) fearfully and wonderfully made” “One soul is worth more than the whole world”

Nothing imputes more value to yourself than what Jesus did for you on Calvary. Know this: out of the entire sea of humanity who has ever lived, lives now, and will live, if you were the only person who ever obeyed and followed Jesus, He would have sacrificed His life and died for you. Just for you.

You alone.

That is worth. That’s what makes us worthy. You cannot hide your flaws, struggles, weaknesses, and tragedies beneath a cloak of busyness, self-importance, position, or wealth. Only the sacrifice of Jesus and His blood atonement for your sins hides you. The old hymn says “Rock of Ages, cleft for me. Let me hide myself in Thee.”

We absolutely do need to hide. But we need to hide in the right place. When you hide in Jesus, He cleanses you from all shameful sins, weaknesses and failures. Jesus pronounces you guiltless and promises that His grace will be sufficient for all our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Because of Jesus, you are loved. You are worthy. You are accepted. You are chosen. Set apart. Whole. Redeemed. Jesus, who was perfect in every way and knew no sin, took your shame and suffered humiliation so you could have life and have it more abundantly. Your shame can then be a showcase for God’s glory.

Whether you only have momentary feelings of shame, or you’ve been hiding in shame for years, go to Jesus for a toxic shame cleanse. Be honest, real, and vulnerable before Him. He will help you overcome shame, because He already has.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38,39