A new era for both child and parent

Parents of seniors prepare to accept their new role as empty nesters, or “free birds”

After the tassels have been turned, dorm rooms have been personalized, and bittersweet parting hugs have been exchanged, a number of parents return to a quieter home. These parents have become empty nesters, people whose children have left the “nest” and moved on to their next adventures.

Louisa and Tom Shields, parents of Eliza S. ’23, have already sent two of their children to college. Eliza’s upcoming graduation marks their inauguration into empty nester-hood and the conclusion of their Nueva experience.

“Nueva has been part of our lives as a family for 17 years. [...] When the older kids left, it was their adventure, but we still had the similarity and the routines of having the same school,” Louisa said. “This one just feels really different.”

For Tom, Nueva has been the “whole fabric” of their existence. Without a need to attend sports games, Quest Expos, or evening events, the couple considers what their life might look like next year.

“When we drop Eliza off in college, and we have three kids gone, and we come home to a big house—just the two of us—the new routine will definitely hit us,” Tom said.

Diane Zoi, mother of Nixie H. ’23 and Zoe Herlick ’20, agreed, having been a Nueva family for the past 16 years. Even earlier, Zoi’s husband, Zack Herlick, graduated from Nueva in 1982 and joined the Board of Trustees in 1998.

“Even though Nueva isn’t going anywhere, it definitely feels like a line of demarcation, like, ‘wow, we’re not going to have kids in that school anymore,’” Zoi said.

Like the Shieldses and Zoi, Hannah Lu, mother of Isabelle S. ’23, anticipates her next life chapter beyond parenting. Despite already sending one child to college, this time feels “much harder” for her.

“[Isabelle] has been an anchor to me, and it’ll take some adjusting to enter the next phase of my life,” she said.

Grappling with simultaneous sadness, pride, and gratitude, Lu plans to spend as much time with Isabelle as possible before she leaves.

“As a parent, my heart is filled with pride for the person she’s becoming,” she said. “I am really proud that our kids have grown up to be confident and well-adjusted young adults.”

Just as their children are embarking on the next chapter in their lives, these parents are also preparing for their next adventure, one that likely includes fewer trips to grocery stores.

“While I feel sad to leave behind a significant part of my life, I’m embracing the freedom to pursue my own dreams,” Lu said. “I’ll take classes and perhaps go back to school and pursue a master’s degree.”

Elise Maar, Associate Director of Admissions and mother to Noah Van Horne ’21 and Charlie V. H. ’23, appreciates the opportunity to introspect and redefine her purpose. She is considering volunteering at food banks, hiking the Camino in Spain, and taking online classes.

“It seemed like the right time to take that step back so I can be more deliberate in how I’m going to make an impact in the next 20 years,” she said.

At the end of the year, Maar will be retiring from Nueva. In her free time, she hopes to “nourish and expand” herself, learning new things and cultivating her creativity.