SEPTEMBER 14 2018

OBERLIN’S STUDENT CULTURE MAGAZINE READ ONLINE AT THEOBERLINGRAPE.COM

VOL. 19, NO. 1

Editors-in-Chief Ian Feather Sophie Jones Content Editors Ruby Anderson Pierson John McCormick Devin McMahon Kiana Mickles

Production Editors Hannah Berk Natalie Hawthorne Leora Swerdlow Nico Vickers

Copy Editor Nell Beck Eleanor Cunningham Olivia Hacker-Keating Indrani Kharbanda

Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry?

A letter from your new EICs, Sophie and Ian Dear Everyone, Allow us to introduce ourselves; we are Ian (he/him) and Sophie, your EditorsIn-Chief for the foreseeable future. We are tremendously excited for this year, but would be lying if we said we aren’t a little nervous too. We would also be lying if we tried to pretend The Grape did not struggle with a veritable shitstorm of controversy during the past year. On several occasions, undeniably problematic content hurt members of our community. There were too many grammatical errors to count.

There was never a Commencement issue.

The list goes on.

While neither of us were in charge of The Grape last year, both of us feel a deep responsibility to do right by our readers this time around. So what does that actually look like?

Our commitment begins with our invaluable staff; hiring, training, and strengthening a team who know better than to let overtly or even subtly distasteful content go to print, and are compassionate but unwavering in holding each other to a higher standard.

This year, we aspire to more than simply avoiding “fucked up” content. Instead, it’s our most desperate wish to genuinely impress-- nay! Titillate!--each

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and every single one of our sweet readers on a bimonthly basis. There’s a catch, though; neither we nor our heroic staff could possibly produce enough content to fill a bunch of Grapes, even if we wanted to. We need you lovely people to write, and draw, and rant with us.

And this brings us to our final and most significant aspiration for this young year; that The Grape be known far and wide across campus and town as a useful means for amplification, like a medieval town crier.

When you dutiful people are at your various meetings-- be they formal or informal, in a Wilder 112 or in your lounge-turned-open double in Barrows with the bagged smoke detector --and have a fantastical idea, or a pressing question, or feel the need to create some “buzz”, it is our goal that The Grape comes to your mind first.

So come to our next Contributors’ Meeting! It’s this Sunday at 3 pm in Wilder 115. Can’t make this one? Never fear, they’re every other Sunday all year long. Never hesitate to stop us on the street and say hi, or kindly berate us for typos--we thrive on criticism.

Love,

Ian & Sophie

Staff Writers Gio Donovan Jason Hewitt Zoe Jasper Sam Schuman

EST. 1999 SEPTEMBER 14, 2018

This Issue's Contributing Writers Malaya Nordyke Rosie Rudavsky Photo Editor Joey Shapiro Emery Webster Charlie Rhinehart-Jones Web Editor Leah Yassky

Cover Art Rachael Weinstein

New CDS Policies Criticized as Harmful to Low-Income Students

BY SAM SCHUMAN | STAFF WRITER Obies have long been familiar with student-administration clashes, but the latest flare-up of tensions on campus may be a first: more than a week before the start of classes, over five hundred students signed an online petition protesting new changes to Campus Dining Services, in particular the end of using meal swipes to purchase retail groceries at Wilder DeCafe.

The news took many students by surprise when it was disseminated on social media last Monday morning. It was officially announced a day later in an email sent to students by Meredith Raimondo, Vice President and Dean of Students. Many students expressed outrage at the policy, accusing it of price-gouging by requiring students to pay for groceries on top of an expensive required meal plan, and harming low-income students who have trouble shouldering the extra cost. FLEX points, which can still be used to purchase groceries, are only available in meal plans offered to juniors and seniors.

Students were first able to purchase retail goods with meal swipes last fall, when the college began requiring all first-years and sophomores to purchase a 300 meal swipe plan in an effort to guarantee that all students had sufficient access to meals on campus.

The meal-swipes-for-groceries policy was instituted to “provide flexibility as they [students] transitioned to the new meal plan,” Dean Raimondo told the Grape.

The email sent to all students on Tuesday by Raimondo said that the brand new change was necessary to “support the economic sustainability of the dining program including the commitment to local foods and fair

compensation for employees.”

Dean Raimondo said that the decision was made in order to reduce food costs, which had increased significantly last year. One of the primary reasons for the increase in food costs was the change allowing students to purchase DeCafe groceries with meal swipes.

“We were not pricing retail foods in a way that meal swipes were covering the costs of retail goods,” Raimondo stated, adding that the only alternative action would have been to significantly increase the cost of retail goods sold in DeCafe. “My hope is that students will give the changes a chance.”

The decision was made by administrators in the Division of Student Life, the Office of Finance and Administration, and Bon Appetit management.

Student feedback was taken into account via students who spoke with Dean Raimondo directly, the Student Senate, and the Dining Committee -- a group of students and staff that meets weekly during the year to discuss issues related to CDS. The College also used the results of a recent survey conducted by CDS, and recent work by the consulting firm Campus Dining, Inc. The results of a comprehensive survey of student dining satisfaction conducted by the Student Senate in May were

not taken into account because the Sandwich and Salad counter from DeCollege had not received the results, Cafe to Stevenson Dining Hall, and an said Raimondo. end to restrictions on when in the day An online petition started last Mon- students can use their meal swipes. day by College sophomores Bailey The four swipes per day limit remains.

McWilliams-Woods and Nick Lewitt Dean Raimondo said that the excalled the change a “serious threat to panded DeCafe hours and Grab-andstudent health,” since it requires low- Go options are intended to reduce income students to pay for groceries food insecurity, providing students out of pocket or with Obie Dollars un- consistent access to meals even withless they have FLEX points. out the ability to buy DeCafe groceries “With these new policies, we will be using their meal swipes. forced to buy groceries using money Conservatory Senior Will Adams was outside of our meal plan, resulting in the first student to share the new Deyet another expense. An expense that, Cafe policy change on social media, again, many students simply cannot posting in Facebook groups dedicatafford,” said the petition, which had ed to the classes of 2019, 2020 and over 550 signatures when it was shared 2021. Adams, who was on campus as with Dean Raimondo last Wednesday a Conservatory member of the PAL morning. program, said he learned of the policy The petition demands that retail from a friend who works for CDS and goods in DeCafe once again be made confirmed it when he attempted to buy purchasable with meal swipes, and groceries with a meal swipe last Monthat the college doesn’t “institute a day morning. He said that students’ mandated meal plan that is a direct reactions to his posts have been “a ton threat to student health.” of angry reacts and a ton of ‘this policy Additional changes introduced by is ridiculous.’”

CDS this semester include expanded He told The Grape that the goal of DeCafe hours, more pre-made “Grab- ensuring local food sourcing and fair and-Go” options across campus, the replacement of the Science Center continued on page 5 food cart with vending machines, the relocation of the Create-Your-Own-

New Orientation Program Brings Freshmen to Cleveland, Encouraging Involvement in the City’s Communities and Organizations

BY DEVIN MCMAHON I FEATURES EDITOR This year, amid Orientation Week’s tours, information sessions, and social events, the college introduced a new program: Connect Cleveland. Organized by the Bonner Center, the program brought over 850 new students along with 100 peer advising leaders (PALS), faculty members, and Oberlin staff members to Cleveland to participate in a variety of service projects with organizations throughout the city, site visits, tours, and workshops.

To students who didn’t get this experience in their orientation in years past, you’re probably reading this with jealousy. Any trip to Cleveland for an Oberlin student, whether that be on your drive back to campus from the airport or for day trips to the museum, a show, or for a meal, undoubtedly feels refreshing, allowing us to realize that the world around us is larger than a few blocks. Plus, there are a lot of fantastic spots in the city -- Grog Shop, Cleveland Botanical Gardens, and the Cleveland Museum of Contemporary Art to name a few. But depending on which part of Cleveland you are visiting, it can also be disheartening. In residential areas, you will see boarded up homes. On retail streets, you will see closed businesses and empty lots. And though on a national scale Cleveland has carved out a relatively large space in pop culture (i.e.

Lebron, RNC, and Khloe Kardashian), the city is still struggling to regain economic footing after being hard-hit by deindustrialization and vast home foreclosures since (and leading up to) the Great Recession.

The extent of the recession’s impact on Cleveland, however, might be surprising to Oberlin students.

In recent national media coverage, such as Forbes’ “Best Cities for Jobs” survey, Cleveland ranked last out of 71 major metro areas. In Business Insider’s ranking of the country’s 40 best and worst regional economies, Cleveland also placed last. Business Insider further reported Cleveland had the highest February 2017 unemployment rate, at 5.7%, among the 40 biggest metro areas, and its job growth was the second-lowest, with non-farm payroll employment rising just 0.3% between February 2016 and February 2017.

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Since the Great Recession, the gap between the richest and poorest Americans has widened astronomically, and many communities have been unable to recover. But in an interview with President Carmen Twillie Ambar, she expressed to The Grape her thoughts on Oberlin students playing a role in the city’s revitalization and Connect Cleveland as the first step in breaking down mental barriers between Oberlin and Cleveland.

“Cleveland is really in a renaissance right now, and they’re trying to expand and grow as a city so we thought it was a great opportunity for students to sort of use Cleveland as another laboratory for their work,” said Ambar. “When a city is in the mode of rethinking itself and trying to revitalize downtown, reinvigorate neighborhoods, respond to issues around education, poverty, and healthcare, and they are doing that good work, those are the very issues that many of our students say they want to be a part of.”

But conversations of revitalization spur questions of intentions and consequences, and as Cleveland develops, one of these ‘issues’ as referenced by Ambar could be gentrification. While recent development efforts may aim to reinvest in economically distressed neighborhoods that haven’t seen any significant investment in decades, ultimately improving economic conditions for the poor, in a city like Cleveland that has extremely high poverty rates, the ‘reinvention’ of a city with development of new attractions, businesses, and more attractive homes, coupled with the flight of middle class and young residents causes concern about the likelihood of the displacement of poor longtime residents. And before long, more middle-class people follow, real-estate interests catch on, long- established local businesses dwindle while police presence expands, and neighborhoods become places people can no longer live. These are topics familiar to many Oberlin students -- from both their coursework, personal experiences, and campus conversations.

“We talk about one person changing the world and oftentimes from the lens of social justice, and that lens can be applied to Cleveland in all of these profound ways,” Ambar

ALL FIRST-YEAR STUDENTS BOARD BUSES TO CLEVELAND FOR CONNECT CLEVELAND, A DAY OF CONNECTING WITH BUSINESSES AND ORGANIZATIONS IN THE CITY.

BY CONNECT CLEVELAND explained. “So what we wanted to make clear is that from Oberlin, Cleveland is really just a hop, skip, and a jump away, there are ways for students to get internships, to work on political campaigns, to work in business, in the arts, in all the areas that they’re thinking about, and that it’s only a short 35-40 minutes away.” Ambar wants students want to leave the “think-tank of Oberlin,” as she called it, and go apply it to real world challenges.

Beyond Connect Cleveland, the Dean of Students Office, the President’s Office, and folks in Career Development are working to secure regular transportation to and from Cleveland to realize the Administration’s vision for its students.

Two donors have provided funding for Connect Cleveland’s transportation for the next four years, and according to President Ambar, “the Dean of Students

is working with [Student] Senate to create over the course of this year three or four ‘community crawls,’ picking a community in Cleveland that has interesting issues, allowing students to learn more about it, go on a Saturday, go walk the neighborhood, and go out to dinner.”

Said Trecia Pottinger, Director of the Bonner Center, these programs, too, offer an “opportunity for stu-

dents to have a sense of place and how Oberlin fits in to the broader Northeast Ohio region… [and for students] to have a sense of where they are living and studying for the next four or five years and what it means to be living at this place at this time.”

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pay for employees is “admirable…but there has to have been a different way to have done that.” He suggested that the college look at minimizing food waste as a way to reduce campus dining costs, adding that “more conversation is necessary to find a way to compensate employees without sacrificing student health.”

Student Senator Patrick Powers said that he was frustrated by the policy change for multiple reasons. He believes that the policy is unfair to students, and that “meal swipe availability [of groceries] is a must.” The college Sophomore and Residential Advisor expressed frustration with the college administration, which he said speaks to student involvement and input in college policymaking but often fails to follow through on promises of shared decision making.

Powers said he sent emails to Dean Raimondo and several members of the Dining Committee, and is currently working to create a dialogue between students and administrators regarding the new CDS policy. He encouraged students upset by the change to reach out to Dean Raimondo and Campus Dining administrators directly.

The decision to move the sandwich and salad counter to Stevenson has also agitated students. “This way of getting food was quick and accessible for students. Stevenson is out of the

way for a lot of students, especially during their class schedule,” said the student petition. Further, the petition stated, “The hot and refrigerated options that are premade at DeCafe do not meet the needs of those with dietary restrictions or allergies.”

Dean Raimondo said that all students with dietary needs or restrictions are encouraged to meet with the College nutritionist to find accommodations and have their needs met. She also encouraged students to reach out to her directly with concerns, saying “honest student feedback is something I really welcome...we need to be in conversation with each other and see students and the College as in a partnership here.”

One change, the end of meal period restrictions, is sure to be popular among students. However, for many, this single positive change is unlikely to outweigh the other, more unpopular new policies. “It helps with accessibility but it doesn’t solve the problem,” said Adams. to be living at this place at this time.” the college look at minimizing food waste as a way to reduce campus dining costs, adding that “more conversation is necessary to find a way to compensate employees without sacrificing student health.”

Student Senator Patrick Powers said that he was frustrated by the policy change for multiple reasons. He be-

lieves that the policy is unfair to students, and that “meal swipe availability [of groceries] is a must.” The college Sophomore and Residential Advisor expressed frustration with the college administration, which he said speaks to student involvement and input in college policymaking but often fails to follow through on promises of shared decision making.

Powers said he sent emails to Dean Raimondo and several members of the Dining Committee, and is currently working to create a dialogue between students and administrators regarding the new CDS policy. He encouraged students upset by the change to reach out to Dean Raimondo and Campus Dining administrators directly.

The decision to move the sandwich and salad counter to Stevenson has also agitated students. “This way of getting food was quick and accessible for students. Stevenson is out of the way for a lot of students, especially during their class schedule,” said the student petition. Further, the petition stated, “The hot and refrigerated options that are premade at DeCafe do not meet the needs of those with dietary restrictions or allergies.”

Dean Raimondo said that all students with dietary needs or restrictions are encouraged to meet with the College nutritionist to find accommodations and have their needs met. She also encouraged students to reach out to her directly with concerns, saying “honest student feedback is something I really

welcome...we need to be in conversation with each other and see students and the College as in a partnership here.”

One change, the end of meal period restrictions, is sure to be popular among students. However, for many, this single positive change is unlikely to outweigh the other, more unpopular new policies. “It helps with accessibility but it doesn’t solve the problem,” said Adams.

Accusations of the new DeCafe policy hurting low-income students echo the controversy that occurred a year and a half ago when the college, citing “an equity principal,” announced that it would reduce financial aid to students who choose to live and dine in OSCA starting with the Class of 2021. The announcement was widely unpopular with students, who labeled it an attack on low-income students who live and dine in OSCA to reduce their cost of attendance. Concerned students staged several protests, including one during Dean Tim Elgren’s address to accepted students at an All Roads Lead to Oberlin event.

As students return to Oberlin, it remains to be seen what dialogue will be had between the student body and administrators regarding the new dining policies. Students on campus have already voiced their concern, and the popular student petition promises further protest: “We aren’t letting this slip, and we are determined to find a better solution.”

Want to get involved? Want to see your name in our next issue? Want power and glory?

The Grape is always seeking Come to our first contributor’s meeting! art, writing, and general creativity. To get involved, This Sunday, September 16th at 3:00 pm in send a pitch to Wilder 115! thegrape@oberlin.edu or...

Welcome (Back) To Oberlin Arts + Culture!

BY PJ MCCORMICK | ARTS AND CULTURES EDITOR Psst! Listen up. Look over here! Keep your voice down.

Seriously! ...I’m about to leak some fundamental truths about this section that our editors-inchief Sophie and Ian don’t want you to know!

What I’m offering aren’t exactly vault-protected secrets, but their explicit publication — especially in The Grape itself — is unprecedented. Since 1999, everyone from The Grape’s editors-in-chief down to the copy editors have fought to keep this info from inking the pages of this periodical. Accordingly, to my colleagues, my decision to print them here may be shocking, maybe even unforgivable.

But there’s a new Sheriff in town, and his name is Sheriff PJ, and his jurisdiction extends from the first page of the Arts + Culture section to the very last. My commitment is to the reader, and as a result, I feel compelled to share this with you all.

My tenure (one week) as the Arts + Culture editor of The Grape has only confirmed and redoubled my long-held beliefs about the section’s place in the institution of this paper. That is — with the exception of Features, which eloquently keeps students and faculty alike apprised of the most pressing events and policy changes on campus, and Bad Habits, which sharpens our student body’s already razoredged satiric impulses, and fi-

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nally, Opinions, which holds a megaphone up to Oberlin students’ well-rounded musings, often offering an opportunity to speak truth to power — Arts + Culture is THE MOST impor-

tant section of the paper. By a mile.

What is it that makes The Grape’s Arts + Culture section so important, you may ask? I’d argue that you know the answer already, implicitly. Because you picked Oberlin, a school teeming with art, firing on all cylinders in every medium at all times.

Here, in the cornfields of Northeastern Ohio, it’s largely up to the student body to create, cultivate, curate, sponsor, and maintain campus-wide culture.

Whether you’re a HIV Peer

Tester, Lacrosse Player, ‘Sco Booker, or Burnout Partygoer, you’re furthering the culture, all while relying on rhythms and institutions handed down to you by students and faculty that came before. In many cases, you’re working on building or streamlining innovative or improved spaces for new students to flourish in later.

Every Oberlin student, whether driven towards it or seemingly oblivious to it, interacts in some way every day with some facet of art or culture at Oberlin, which means that every student

riety of words with. Like rascal, scald, or tan.

Is there a concert you’d like to cover on campus? A band to interview? A lecture to attend?

A student production in Wilder next Friday that you think breathes new life into the Oberlin theater scene?

Or a dance showcase in Warner that you think vibrates with potential? An art installation? A student film?

A Hollywood film you think deserves our attention? Or our ire?

How about a pioneering literary magazine? An interesting new org? An older student organization making surprising leaps and bounds? Remember, too, that it doesn’t have to be someone else’s art. Do you have an exciting new piece just waiting to be featured?

Or an upcoming recital?

If you answered yes to any of these questions— or think I’m being myopic, failing to mention, or ignorant to, the true apex of the arts at Oberlin — write The Grape or me at pmccormi@oberlin.edu, PHOTO TAKEN BY PJ MCCORMICK and pitch an idea!

(Grape-reader or not) is more than qualified to write for this section.

So, with that, welcome to the new Arts + Culture section — and remember, you can’t spell Arts + Culture without true.

Plus, you even get leftover letters that you can spell any va-

I couldn’t be more excited to welcome your submissions this year, and to help edit, publish, and elevate clever criticism, features, and reviews. Here’s to another year of Arts + Culture at Oberlin, and finding our place in it all.

September at Oberlin: An Arts + Culture Section Guide

BY MALAYA NORDYKE | CONTRIBUTING WRITER It’s the first week of school at Oberlin, 22nd, campus-favorite art-rockers Palm and as students return in droves back return to Oberlin to play their new alto campus, so too do events and par- bum Rock Island at ‘Sco with campus ties, screenings and shows. The Arts + band Julia Julian. And a few days later, Culture section strongly encourages the indie-rocker Laura Stevenson also plays consumption of student and profession- the ‘Sco with Blankat, another Oberlin al art and culture at high degrees, and in an effort to make finding it as easy as possible, has compiled an (incomplete) list of events in September.

Like any semester at Oberlin, the live performance lineup is stacked, and already well under way. If you’re reading this past Orientation week, PALM, COURTESY OF THEIR BANDCAMP PAGE you’ve already missed the first concert of the semester, Deem Spencer, group. a 23 year old rapper from Queens, NY Oberlin’s year of comedy kicks off who charmed the ‘Sco on September with the Improv Showcase Extravafirst with his intimate, bedroom-pop in- ganza on the 6th at the Cat in the flected hip-hop. Next up is Ari Lennox, Cream. There, Oberlin improv troupes bringing her genre-hopping R&B and the Sunshine Scouts, Primitive Streak, Soul stylings to the Cat and the Cream Kid Business, and Neurotic Fiction will on Saturday, September 8th. On the perform a marathon set. Stay tuned in

the following weeks for announcements on audition dates, as well as upcoming shows. No word yet on when the next time to catch stand-up comedy on campus will be, but a tip placed by a member of the Improv Coalition seems to imply that there’s something in the pipeline.

Crazy Rich Asians, the first major American studio movie to have a majority Asian cast in the past 25 years continues to screen at the Apollo.

Reviews call it a likeable rom-com! In addition, The Happytime Murders -- a roundly panned Melissa McCarthy comedy that boldy ponders “what if muppets were naughty?” -- also has nightly

showings.

(Picture Courtesy of Warner Bros.)

At the Allen, New York artist Barbara Bloom has created a site-specific work on display in the Ellen Johnson Gallery through December 16th. Bloom’s work, with a focus on drawing attention to space, is said to accentuate the “eccentricities” of the Johnson Gallery. This according to the Oberlin website. At the Frank Lloyd Wright House, Portuguese via Venezuelan artist Juan Araujo has an exibition, Redwood, a mixed-media show that includes video, painting, and allusions to the architecture of the space throughout.

All of this is to barely scratch the surface of everything to check out at Oberlin this September. Think I left anything out? Write The Grape about it!

SCREENSHOT OF CRAZY RICH ASIANS

Back-to-School Slashers

BY JOEY SHAPIRO | CONTRIBUTING WRITER School’s back, baby! What better way to commemorate the occasion than with some sleazy B-grade horror movies?

These three school-set slashers aren’t

PIECES 1982

all cinematic masterpieces, but they are without a doubt a lot of cheesy, bloody fun. I consider Pieces to be both a prototypical slasher and the most batshit crazy example of the genre. It hits all the narrative and stylistic beats we expect from the genre—a masked killer, grisly death scenes, tons of red herrings—but executes it in bizarre, outrageous fashion that, had the tone been slightly different, could function just as well as a parody of the genre.

At the start of the film, we’re introduced to an unnamed boy who, after be-

ing scolded by his mom for working on a pornographic jigsaw puzzle, responds in a completely reasonable, level-headed way: he absolutely goes to town murdering her with an axe. Forty years later, the boy is now an unspecified adult back on his murderous bullshit on a college campus, this time killing co-eds and using their body parts as puzzle pieces to form a Frankenstein-esque recreation of his mother. Make sense so far? Cool.

The best part about the human jigsaw puzzle gimmick is that he selects his victims by their strongest body parts,

meaning that he kills a swimmer for her legs, a tennis player for her arms, and, naturally, a girl reading a book for her head. If that sounds pretty ridiculous, it gets wilder. Director Juan Piquer Simon, apparently aiming for more realism in the death scenes despite the clear overarching insanity of the premise, refused to use fake blood or fake gore, instead drenching actresses in genuine animal guts and cutting into pig carcasses in close-ups during certain death scenes.

Likewise, every weapon in the movie is real—when the killer lunges at a woman with a chainsaw and she pees herself, the actress is really peeing her pants because there is a real chainsaw inches from her face.

I realize this makes the whole thing sound like some gritty, horrific, Hostelesque splatter movie, but let me personally reassure you that couldn’t be further from the truth. The final product is more in line with something John Waters might have made if he had a taste for horror and no self-awareness, an all-out onslaught of camp and incoherence that’s more likely to induce laughs than shudders. The acting is amateurish even for a slasher, and it’s unclear whether some of the actors are dubbed or if they genuinely just speak like that.

Lines like, “the most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed at the same time” are delivered with a whole lot of emotion and even more incompetence. In spite of all this, it transcends simple so-bad-it’sgood filmmaking by occasionally being genuinely suspenseful and consistently being wildly entertaining. The whole movie’s appeal can be summed up in a single scene in which, with absolutely zero context, a Bruce Lee impersonator charges onscreen and attacks one of the protagonists for no other reason than

that the producer was making a martial arts movie and wanted to give his lead actor another role. Like I said, batshit crazy.

God awful title aside (is it pronounced H-twenty? H-two-oh? What does this movie have to do with water?), Halloween H20 is a major return to form for what is the least consistent major slasher franchise out there. Aside from the first, second, and—depending on who you ask—the third movie, the Halloween franchise is real bad. Even its defenders can admit that none of the sequels ever quite recaptured the magic of the first movie, the model slasher to which every subsequent film in the genre aspired.

It isn’t quite as good as the original movie—how could it be?—but god knows H20 comes closer than any other Halloween movie before or after it. Part of this can be chalked up to Jamie Lee Curtis’ return as Laurie Strode and the retroactive dismissal of all the events in Halloweens 4-6 as non-canonical— a creative decision that should come as a huge relief to anyone who has sat through those movies. More than anything else though, it just feels more like a Halloween movie than the previous sequels, recapturing the tension and atmosphere of the first two films and slashing the groan-worthy supernatural mythos that the later sequels introduced.

Taking place, fittingly, two decades after the events of the original movie and Halloween 2, Laurie Strode has relocated to California under the name Keri Tate and is now the headmistress of an elite private school with a teenage son in tow. Unfortunately, her pesky/psychotic brother Michael has tracked her down and followed her all the way to California, and he begins wreaking havoc on the students and faculty of the school in his search for Laurie.

In a fun and thrilling twist, the cast is filled with familiar faces before they were fa-

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SCREENSHOT OF HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER (1998)

mous: Michelle Williams! Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Josh Hartnett! Even LL Cool JJ is thrown in there for good measure.

It’s a veritable who’s-who of celebrities being killed off in quick succession, but the movie is above all just a joy to watch because it’s the rare slasher that, like the original film, puts more weight on genuine suspense-building than on cheap gory thrills—although, with that said, it is far from bloodless and that well-earned suspense does lead to some well-earned murder scenes.

After three or four increasingly disappointing sequels, it would have been a relief just to have a Halloween movie

The kills—the focal point of any good slasher—are in the single-digits, but you wouldn’t know it; every death scene leaves a pretty big impression thanks to Savini’s gruesome effects. There are bayonets going through throats, pitchforks skewering lovers together (very Friday the 13th: Part II), and, my personal favorite, a head blowing up in slow-motion. The camera always lingers on the gore shots for a long time—justifiably so given the attention to detail in these deaths—so make no mistake that this is one of the bloodier slashers out there.

In a cute twist though, the killer leaves a rose on the body of all his victims be-

SCREENSHOT OF THE PROWLER (1981)

that didn’t suck.

It’s all the more wonderful then that H20 is a return to form that, truly and wholeheartedly, rules in its own right.

Fingers crossed the upcoming reboot later this year can match it.

Take a run-of-the-mill slasher plot about a psycho jilted lover returning to exact vengeance on a small college town and attach horror royalty like Dawn of the Dead alumnus Tom Savini and you’ve got yourself slasher gold, baby! This one is directed by Joseph Zito, the man behind the best Friday the 13thmovie (the fourth one, duh), and while the plot and killer-with-big-mask-and-bigger-weapon gimmick were executed with a little more success in legendary slasher My Bloody Valentine released six months prior, The Prowler stands alone as something special thanks to its uniquely gnarly special effects.

cause he’s a hopeless romantic; it’s a lot like The Bachelor in that way!

Still, there’s more to it than blood and guts. The Prowler is a slasher classic because the bloodiness is complemented by pretty impressive horror filmmaking, with a whole lot of dreamy atmosphere and more high-budget polish than you would expect from a movie with a $1 million budget. It’s hardly original (few slashers are, to be fair) and the plot itself isn’t always compelling, but it has a foggy, surreal quality to it that makes the whole thing feel like a very, very gory fever dream. The ending certainly adds to this dreamy atmosphere—without giving anything away it’ll either feel like a spooky little cliffhanger or a tacked-on cheap scare, depending on the viewer, but god knows it leaves an impression.

An Arts + Culture Retrospective: On Oberlin’s Indie-Cred

BY PJ MCCORMICK | ARTS AND CULTURES EDITOR The year is 2004: Britney Spears has just married Kevin Federline. George W. Bush is about to be re-elected. In Los Angeles, Reagan has just sucked down his last jelly bean. And hey: Shrek 2 just came out! It was also the year that two bold Grape reporters, Eva Green and

Lindsay Rothenberg, culled testimonials from students on just how “mainstream” Oberlin campus had become. While the pioneering pair don’t explicitly name the frequency of Shrek impersonations as the source of the student body’s insecurity about becoming too mainstream,

it’s pretty easy to read between the lines here. Not that that’s necessarily something to mourn. As 2004 student Lesley Farber puts it, “Losing Oberlin uniqueness is a bad consequence, but it also allows for more opinions to be heard.”

Farber’s statement poses a timeless

question, one that should resonate with Oberlin students just as well 14 years later as it did in 2004: isn’t it time to stop telling normies to “get out me swamp” ?

The Oberlin Film Cooperative is the longest running student cinema club on campus; our mission is to empower the community to make, watch, and love film. OFC curates and screens 6080 international, blockbuster, and arthouse films annually at the OFC Cinemas (including off-campus houses, the Arb, and the AJLC).

We also deliver financial support to college filmmakers through Ad-hoc funding; operate Bolex Studios, a Super 8 and 16mm film education and rental facility, and Oberlin Screenwriters, a work-group for our school’s diverse artists/ media-makers to train and collaborate. Throw your brain aside and join the ride.

Officers: Fiona Brennan and Kelsey Sharpe (Bolex Studios), Celeste Debardelaben (OFC Cinemas), Dylan Purvis and Claire Wong (Oberlin Screenwriters)

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OBERLIN FILM CO-OP

Contact: facebook.com/oberlinfilmcoop ofc@oberlin.edu

OFC EVENTS CALENDAR - ALL FREE !

Movies, drinks, and friends (No clowns) Locations TBD ~ Doc Nights on Sundays

Welcome to the Valley Clueless Valley Girl Friday 14th @ 7pm, Wilder 101

Coming of Age Rushmore A Nos Amours Saturday 15th @ 7pm, 126 Union

Doc Night Ava Duvernay’s 13th Sunday 16th @ 7:30pm, Hallock, AJLC

Jarmusch Jamboree Stranger than Paradise Down by Law Friday 21st @ 7pm, Wilder 101

Bio-Pics All that Jazz Spike Lee’s Mo’ Better Blues Saturday 22nd @ 7pm Location TBD

Doc Night I am Not Your Negro Sunday 23rd @ 7:30pm, Hallock, AJLC

Heartbreak! High School!

Hell!

Heathers Better Off Dead Friday 28th @ 7pm, Wilder 101

Psychedelic Cartoons Yellow Submarine Fantastic Planet Saturday 29th @ 7pm Location TBD

Doc Night Ethnic Notions Sunday 30th @ 7:30pm, Hallock, AJLC

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Let’s Talk About Sex, Babies I’m gonna share some thoughts on sex, safer sex, power dynamics, and more from my first semester of college.

BY GIO DONOVAN | STAFF WRITER I want to preface this by saying this is entirely based off of my own experience and conversations with others. I can’t claim anything else.

I grew up in a Religious Home of Color (RHoC) and entering college with that experience, along with self-esteem issues and being fresh off a breakup, ≠≠led to me going hard and fast on my Tinder game when I got to Oberlin. I ended orientation week covered in hickeys from a rushed night spent in the Harkness single-use bathroom in the basement/kitchen area (yikes…sorry HLECs / KitchCos / FSCs). When I was swiping, I was mostly excited to match with people. It was instant validation, and it made me feel real good inside. My (relatively) religious self growing up with strict parents and self-hatred was ready to rebound and experience college.

So, freshman babies, here are some pieces of advice and anecdotes from myself and a pal, Hanne Williams-Baron: 1. Not every upperclassman you match with on Tinder / meet at your first Splitchers / approaches you randomly / whatever, has your best interests in mind. In fact, let’s be real: most fourth years (specifically) that approach you your first month of college are skeevy as fuck.

If someone is only going after first semester freshmen, it’s a sign of something deeper. Think about why they aren’t having sex with anyone in other years. Could it be…everyone else knows they’re gross as fuck? Call them the fuck out. Tell your friends who they are. Listen to friends.

2. It’s cool to not have sex. I know everyone is excited to be parent-free and feel liberated or whatever, but it’s pretty cool to not have sex. It’s also pretty cool to have sex. I wish I knew I didn’t have to have sex to feel cool or worthy. Sex and having sex can feel like an exchange of social capital or what have you at Oberlin and at college in general, but I promise you your worth is not determined by it. We have a pretty open culture at this school when it comes to talking about sex. That’s great! A step in the right direction! But sometimes it can seem like everyone is having sex all the time and that’s just not the case. You don’t have to have sex!

That’s so fine! Your relationship to sex and your body is always valid no matter what.

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3. Monogamy is chill. Relationships are pretty chill too. Sometimes there’s a lot of pressure on campus (especially in queer circles) to be polyamorous or have multiple partners. It’s okay to not want to do that and a n y o n e who pressures you into doing that is a dick. You’re not any less “radical” or cool if you’re chilling with your one monogamous boo.

4. That being said, don’t slutshame. Don’t shame people who have multiple partners. Don’t shame people in open relationships. If they’re happy, their partner(s) are happy, and anyone else involved feels safe and fine, it’s all good.

Leave it be. If you suspect that someone is hurt or a re-

lationship is toxic, find ways to step in as a friend but don’t shame ‘em!

5. Your boundaries with sex are extremely valid and important. “Vanilla” sex is cool too! You should never feel pressured to do things you aren’t comfortable with or excited to try because you fear not seeming “cool.” Also! Other forms of intimacy are intimacy and they are valid! We love a good makeout session. Cuddling? I love it!

6. Your boundaries can change and it is never too late to discuss them in a relationship (sexual, platonic, romantic, professional, etc.) and it is natural for them to shift! Just because something was working for you at the beginning of the relationship doesn't mean it will always feel that way (and vice versa) and it's a sign of trust and respect to communicate that.

7. The student-run campus resources for all things sex and safer sex related are amazing! HIV Peer Testers are very kind and knowledgeable (and yes I’m biased). Getting tested isn’t shameful or scary!

And if you are scared, they’re there to walk you through it. The SIC is also absolutely incredible and will help you out as much as they possibly can. These students are also here for conversations about sex, counseling, and other related things in their offices.

8. Acknowledge your biases about sex! Who are you attracted to? How do your interests play into desirability politics? How does race, size / weight, disability, etc. factor into your attractions? You can totally have your preferences, but when they exclude marginalized identities and bodies, you should evaluate them closely.

9. Not a tip, but an advertisement: Ama-

zon has plenty of affordable sex toys that come in nondescript boxes if you wanna ship ‘em to the mailroom. Go ham! Have fun!!!Explore your body! Learn what you like! It makes sex sooooo much more fun when you’re in touch with yourself.

10. Final thing: it’s okay to say no.

We say that “no means no, yes means yes” a lot but we don’t really acknowledge how hard saying no can be. That could be just to making plans or joining clubs or taking on too much or anything. Saying no is really hard.

And when it comes to sex, it can seem even harder (at least for me). You don’t owe anyone your body or your ye or your yes! If you don’t wanna have sex–– don’t.

I’m not telling you to not have sex. I’m also not telling you to have sex. I just think these are some things worth keeping in mind. This isn’t a comprehensive list of advice, but I am literally always down to talk about sex, safer sex, and power dynamics! Feel free to email me! Or come to my SHIL office hours. I’m here for this!

Let’s Talk About Resources, Babies 4 Sexual Information Center (Wilder 203): the SIC sells safer sex supplies, gender-affirming products, provides counseling, emergency contraceptives, and can arrange rides to Planned Parenthood or Preterm.

4 HIV Peer Testers (Wilder 308): Free anon-

ymous or confidential oral HIV tests available in Wilder. The hours / tester dates should be listed soon. You can always contact hiv@oberlin.edu for questions.

4 Sexual Harm Information Liaisons (Wilder 402 + On-Call 24/7): SHILs are here to be an advocate for members of OSCA and deal with issues concerning sexualized violence. There are three SHILs—Jojo Scott, Gio Donovan, Bhairavi Mehra—that rotate days being on call and can always be reached via call or text at (440) 707-6342.

4 Student Health (247 W. Lorain Street): Testing for Chlamydia & Gonorrhea for $30, regardless of insurance status. You can charge the fee to your student account and it will show up as Student Health Services, not as the specific service. You can also get IUD strings checked by the midwife there!

4 Circle Health Services (Cleveland): Offers walk-in full panel STI testing and HIV treatment.

Planned Parenthood (Lorain): At a sliding price scale, PP in Lorain provides abortion referral, birth control, emergency contraception, STI testing (BV, chlamydia, genital warts, herpes, syphilis, and trich), pregnancy testing, breast exams, and cervical exams.

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4 Pre-Term (Cleveland): Requires insurance for their services. They perform abortions (surgical and medicated), offer birth control, full panel STI testing, ultrasounds, and post-abortion counseling.

4 The Nord Center (Lorain): A mental health facility (that Safety & Security will give rides to) that offers medical and legal advocacy, support, assessment, treatment, and evidence collection, referral for psychological counseling, and emotional support.

4 24/7 Emergency Crisis Service: 1-800888-6161 4 Sexual Assault Services: (440) 204-4359 4 Family Planning Services (Lorain): Offers pap smears, pregnancy testing, pelvic and breast exams, testicular exams, and STI Testing with insurance or a sliding scale This list may not be entirely comprehensive of resources on and off campus. These are simply just things I know of from being an HIV Peer Tester and SHIL, with the help of my friend Sadie’s SexCO final! The Office of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion has more on and off campus resources listed under their Sexual Misconduct Information page.

And They Were Roommates...

Navigating unexpected crises

ANONYMOUS | CONTRIBUTOR

Coming to college, I was excited to have a roommate.

According to my favorite movies about college, they’re instant BFFs. They spend their time navigating the ups and downs of college, joining clubs, and making friends together. I imagined my roommate and I would stay up late talking, share our secrets with each other, and be best friends. Instead, I spent nights awake crying, checking over my shoulder, and feeling isolated.

This is not your feel-good, coming-of-age story. This also is not a typical roommate experience. This is me, telling my truth.

It was a normal Friday in October when my roommate, Carrion*, approached me to tell me she was heading home for the weekend. This was no big deal, she normally spent the weekends at home, so this was going to be another weekend of me entering the room whenever I felt like it from whatever party Union, Goldsmith, or Woodland (RIP) was having. I came back into my room later that day and Carrion was there with her mother. I imagined Carrion left her key or something, but as the hours passed on, it was clear something more sinister was occuring.

The weekend came and went. It was an eventful one for myself: I had my first random Oberlin hookup in my room and spent the entire weekend naked, comfortable both in my body and in my space. But then it was Monday, which meant early-morning Calculus. As I was about to leave the room, Carrion approached me and said: “Hey, I forgot to tell you but on Friday my mother and I installed a camera in the room.”

I felt my face go numb. I couldn’t recognize anything around me. Did she just tell me she put a camera in the room? In the room we share together? Why would she do this? We barely spoke to one another, why would she feel the need to keep surveillance? When I finally came back into my body, I was in Calculus five minutes early. I tried forgetting she told me this, and went about my normal Monday routine. Keeping busy with school work made it impossible for me to come to the realization that my privacy and consent were violated.

It was 9pm and I still had not returned to my room.

I couldn’t camp out in Mudd forever, so I started heading back to my dorm. The thoughts of someone peeping into the most intimate aspects of my life all rushed into my head. Why did she put a camera in the room?

Who had access to this tape? How was this going to alter my ability to enter any competitive graduate program? Suddenly, I was in front of my dorm. I couldn’t enter. So, I went to the lobby and called my dad.

“Hello Taylor, it’s good to hear from you.”

I instantly started sobbing. I went from sadness, to

guilt, to anger, to embarrassment, to a loss of identity all in a span of twenty minutes from telling my dad what happened. My father, a professor at a university at home, was familiar with the protocol of what to do, and made the phone call to the Title IX office on my behalf.

Although what happened to me is easily one of the most traumatic experiences I have gone through, the resources I had access to made recovery easier. First, I was in contact with the Title IX office. Rebecca Mosely, the Title IX coordinator and director of Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion, made me feel comfortable during a time when I no longer had comfort in the place I called home.

I was able to express what had happened without sobbing the entire time. Being unable to sleep in my room made performing in class difficult, so the next person I talked to was my Academic Advisor, who also is an Assistant Dean of Students. I explained to them what was happening, and they were able to coordinate with my professors so that I was able to have time to process what happened to me but not fall behind in my studies.

I was then in contact with my RAs and the corresponding AC, who all worked together to ensure that I was able to find some comfort in my living space. I had people assuring me that the situation was being handled, that it would not affect my grades, and that I could sleep in peace. It was assurance I needed.

Although I did not use this resource, the Counseling Center was an option mentioned by each person with whom I met. They have an amazingly trained staff who are here for students. These people continued to check up on me for as long as I needed it and were instrumental in my ability to recover.

I am in a much better space now, both physically and mentally. Dealing with having my privacy violated was not an easy task. It took weeks to come to a solution that I felt comfortable with. This situation made it hard for me feel comfortable sharing a living space, but I am now in a place where I am fine co-existing in the same space as someone else. This was a feat that I would not have been able to accomplish without the support network I found at Oberlin.

If I did not reach out to someone and have a moment of vulnerability, I never would have had access to the support I needed in that time. Being a first year is scary; it’s even scarier when you’re in a situation similar to mine without any idea of what to do. If there is anything I learned from this experience, it is to ask for help when you need it, and to recognize your own limits.

I do not wish this or any similar experience on anybody, but I hope that by sharing what I did, it will be easier for the next person. Remember, you are not alone.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FEEL-GOOD, COMINGOF-AGE STORY. THIS ALSO IS NOT A TYPICAL ROOMMATE EXPERIENCE. THIS IS ME, TELLING MY TRUTH.

*names in this story have been changed

Toward More Effective Naloxone Can Save Lives from Drug Student Activism?

Overdoses

BY IAN FEATHER | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Last semester, Grape staff writer Sam Schuman and I wrote a piece detailing the consulting firm that Oberlin College hired to help solve its financial woes, Stevens Strategy. In the piece, we foreshadowed potential changes to our campus that could result from the Stevens Strategy intervention. In the time that has elapsed, we are now seeing some highly visible changes, ones that many students have since vocalized their displeasure with.

Obviously, students should vocalize this and should organize to resist changes that adversely affect them. However, in my 3ish years at Oberlin, I’ve witnessed very valid

cussing something the College has done/will do will make it much harder to sway anyone’s opinion in the future. While certain scenarios may require a rapid response, don’t be lazy if you have the opportunity to find the facts.

3. Build alliances with faculty and staff who are sympathetic, but recognize employment vulnerability. Changes that the College make often affect faculty and staff, not solely students. Use this to your advantage when trying to build a broad coalition! However, also be sure you understand the varying levels of employment vulnerability that employees of the College face. For example, a tenured professor will be able to be

WE, COLLECTIVELY, HAVE THE ABILITY TO BOTH SHUT DOWN SPACES ON CAMPUS AND OBSTRUCT THE FINANCIAL OPERATION OF THE COLLEGE. grievances related to actions by the College manifest through the sharing of rampant misinformation on Facebook and other platforms, overreliance on online petitions, and groups of organizers who close themselves off to others who may be supportive of the cause--just to name a few. While I’ve definitely been guilty most of these things at one point or another, and certainly can’t claim to be a Master Organizer™, I feel compelled to share some tips as we enter a year that will likely be full of big changes to our campus.

Effective student organizing will be more necessary than ever this year.

1. Choose your battles wisely. Students should stay vigilant, but also recognize the vast amount of time and energy that effective organizing requires, especially as a student. Challenging each and every issue that comes up during the year, while not impossible, can very quickly lead to burnout.

Furthermore, responding with the same intensity to every single thing the College does may cause others to perceive you like the Boy Who Cried Wolf was. Be wise with when and how you escalate your tactics. It is important to note, however, that, individual changes that the College implements will affect different subsets members of the community differently.

2. Do your research before you make claims. Credibility can be very hard to earn, and making false claims when dis-

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much more outspoken than an administrative assistant or maintenance worker without risking their job.

4. Petitions are one of several means to an end. Petitions are wonderful tools for quickly raising awareness about an issue and showing support amongst members of the campus community. However, petitions cannot be the only tool that student activists utilize. If you send a petition to the administration and don’t receive a favorable response, or a response at all, consider escalating things.

5. Don’t let your group of organizers turn into a clique and/or cult. Organizing often involves tight-knit relationships and developing a sense of community.

However, groups of organizers who close themselves off from others who may be sympathetic to their cause, for whatever reasons, will be missing opportunities to build their movement.

6. Recognize your collective power as customers of the College. There are roughly 3,200 of us, and the College relies on our tuition dollars in order to function. This means that we, collectively, have the ability to both shut down spaces on campus and obstruct the financial operation of the College.

This can be easy to forget when we think of our positionality as individual students, in relation to administrators who have much more power.

Yet Oberlin Students Don’t Have Access to It

BY CHARLIE RINEHART-JONES | CONTRIBUTING WRITER In April of last year, I researched the opioid epidemic and began to think about what I would do if I happened to witness an overdose at Oberlin. I decided to make a call to the Oberlin Student Health Center to see if they had access to the life-saving drug Naloxone, the medication that frequently appeared in my research as the primary antidote to active overdoses. They told me that they didn’t.

Oberlin College Health Services isn’t ready to tackle one of the largest health risks in our country. The opioid epidemic, which is the proliferation of death from overdose involving prescription and non-prescription opiates, killed 72,000 people in our country last year and 63,000 the year before that. Drug overdoses are the leading cause of death for Americans under 50, and two-thirds of those deaths involve opioids; this isn’t a fringe issue. Oberlin College is responsible for the safety of its students, and should be more prepared.

College students face unique challenges when it comes to the addiction crisis, and many campuses have neglected to be proactive in the face of the epidemic. That’s why, myself and students from across the country founded an organization called NOC (Naloxone On Campus) to help prevent overdose in our school communities. Naloxone is medication that reverses the effects of an overdose.

It comes in many different forms and brands.

You may know it as Narcan, which is the most popular brand of the drug. In most states, Naloxone is available over the counter.

Most people’s minds jump directly to heroin and Oxycodone when imaging the effects of the drug epidemic. Many institutions in our society propagate highly problematic images of the addiction and recovery community, leading to misinformation and misjudgement. People who haven’t been a part of the addiction or recovery community are taught to see addicts as lesser than or as those who have made poor decisions. The community truly represents a huge number of people with a severe lack of resources. Oftentimes, people become addicted to opioids after a serious injury when they are prescribed powerful painkillers, can’t stop using, and out of

desperation turn to illegal drugs.

One in four colleges in the United States has an opioid use rate higher than 10%, and 50% of college students are offered a prescription drug for nonmedical purposes by their sophomore year. Given these statistics, and the reality of the opioid crisis more broadly, NOC believes that reliable access to Narcan nasal spray, which is easy to use and quite cost-effective, is imperative to the safety of community members during this crisis. The organization aims to help students lobby their school administrations, student governments, and community stakeholders to come up with an effective plan to implement better policy. With the rise of synthetic fentanyl, students can be unaware of the true risk that they are taking by partaking in casual drug use.

Opioids have also become increasingly unsafe with the rise of fentanyl, which is a synthetic opioid that is more than 50 times as potent as morphine. Conservative dilettantes cite government issued healthcare as a major problem contributing to the epidemic; however, experts agree that the next big step in solving the opioid epidemic is a drastic increase in harm reduction programs and layperson training in using Naloxone kits to prevent overdoses.

In 2013, a cost-benefit analysis showed that on average for every 164 Naloxone kits distributed, one life would be saved. The overall cost for these kits is so incredibly low; administrations around the country would be foolish not to invest in this solution. Thankfully, some schools are leading the charge. Bridgewater State University was the first school in the country to implement a public-access Naloxone program. Impressive programs to provide the drugs to state school campuses across Wisconsin and Connecticut campuses have been highly publicized as well.

Our students aren’t safe and we need to come together as a community of faculty, students, administrators, activists, and community stakeholders to help enact policy that addresses this important issue.

OBERLIN COLLEGE HEALTH SERVICES ISN’T READY TO TACKLE ONE OF THE LARGEST HEALTH RISKS IN OUR COUNTRY.

Buzzwords & Do You Actually Know What That Means?: Academia and Accessibility Admittedly upon my entry to Oberlin I

BY KIANA MICKLES | OPINIONS EDITOR was not an innocent bystander to this pracAs a student navigating my high school career, teachers consistently advised me to keep things sweet and simple. During these years I found that the core motive behind intellectual debate was to ensure that your thoughts are clear and comprehensible, in order to produce an academic piece conducive to nuanced discussion. This practice, while straightforward enough, has not entirely carried on to my Oberlin experience.

Orientation recalls hazy memories of countless meandering conversations littered with buzzwords running the gamut from “hegemony” to “neoliberalism.” While these words do naturally arise in some conversations, such rhetoric was expected to be understood by default, neglectful of the fact that each first year enters Oberlin with a unique educational background and proficiency in academic language. In fact, dependence on buzzwords during discourse often signified to me a skilled avoidance tactic for discussing nuanced matters. In the commitment to ensuring accessible and mobilizing dialogue, I urge students to be conscious of the language we use to communicate simple ideas to our peers, as the ability to use academic rhetoric without regard to whether or not your listener understands is itself a privilege. While I do not consider this issue Oberlin-specific, the tendency to cling to buzzwords speaks volumes to the ways in which we’ve allowed academia to cloud some basic realities.

tice. And to be fair to myself and some of my Oberlin peers, this is wholly upheld by the detached, hyper-analytical culture which the flawed institution of academia produces. It is the reason why students trade poly-syllables for direct, accessible conversations, they seek discussions about working class issues from professors and upper class colleagues, before sparking honest dialogue with working class neighbors. As a natural result, our language grows convoluted and void of substance.

me for the past three years), as students we always have to bear in mind the fundamental privilege that comes from learning about oppression before having lived it.

My dominant concern lies in the ways in which academic rhetoric is oftentimes wielded to preserve power, rather than utilized to genuinely transfer knowledge which can be accessible to all. It is not an inherent offense to acquire the privileges which come with higher education. The true heinousness is in being unmindful of such privileges, and in going about our lives without careful consid-

ENTERING COLLEGE HAVING READ MARX DOES NOT SUFFICE WHEN THE ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO TOPPLING THE BOURGEOUSIE YOU CAN MUSTER CONSISTS OF POMPOUS DISCUSSIONS WITHIN ELITIST, ALL-WHITE CIRCLES OVER A TEXT LISTED ON THE SYLLABUS. While academia has the power to be enlightening, it can also lay cataracts over our eyes when we forget to use our critical faculties and explore the world around us from outside perspectives. While I do not mean to discredit the scholars producing groundbreaking works, galvanizing communities within their social justice circles (the works of Audre Lorde and Angela Davis have counseled

eration of the circumstances and hierarchies which got us here.

Moreover, academia is (only) a valuable asset in social justice efforts when complemented with a deep, tangible understanding of the ways in which this acquired knowledge applies to real lived experiences. Like most institutions, the potential for organizing through academia is muddied by a long shad-

ow of white heteropatriarchal dominance. As an open Black lesbian I’ve grown desensitized to the drone of white liberals inside and outside the classroom, offering abstract renditions of my well-lived experiences. These same experiences of oppression have been wielded against me in the classroom by professors who look like me, with the assumption that I would share my insights, all the while being tokenized by my peers. Entering college having read Marx does not suffice when the only contribution to toppling the bourgeousie you can muster consists of pompous discussions within elitist, all-white circles over a text listed on the syllabus. Activism exists both personally and politically - the rhetoric we choose must align with and inform (not replace or absolve the lack of) daily actions to dismantle oppressive institutions and power structures.

Oftentimes the competitive culture at Oberlin moves us to trade poetry for rhetoric.

Without critical thought of whom is in the room and how they got there, we can disengage, find ourselves immersed in panel after panel, exchanging theories and book titles, only to come to the stunning realization that marginalized communities outside our academic sphere can no longer relate. I’m not advocating to entirely ditch the books and the intellectual discourse - I’m simply urging us to remain vigilant in efforts to question the hierarchies which are inherent in academic spaces, and to constantly consider what lies outside its limiting conventions.

9 Thoughts I Had During My First Week At Oberlin

BY NICO VICKERS | OPINIONS LAYOUT EDITOR This summer, I watched Netflix, bussed tables, and thought about Oberlin. And aside from the long drive to nowhere and the four days I spent living under my friend’s bed in a dorm at the University of Georgia, that’s pretty much all I did. I had a lot of expectations, some fears, but mostly I was excited to end the weird five-year stint of my life that I had spent in the South unwillingly. I was ready to begin a new chapter, and I found that I wasn’t alone. When I asked people in my PAL group what they were most looking forward to getting out of the semester, many were mostly excited about having a regular schedule and really experiencing college life.

Orientation can be seen as just another thing to get through before college life actually begins, but I actually found the week to be valuable. Tedious and intimidating at times, but valuable.

Here are some of the specific thoughts I had during my first week as an Oberlin student.

1. “This place isn’t as big and confusing as I thought.”

So far, I’ve only been to a few places, but when I was here as a prospie, I was hopelessly lost for most of my day. I couldn’t find where I was staying, I couldn’t find any of the events, I couldn’t find food. I said I’d be fine, but I wasn’t. At all. I went stumbling around campus, too prideful and scared to ask for help. At one point (my lowest) I ended up at the post office. I finally found Wilder, and got a sandwich, only to find that my visitor’s card wouldn’t work there, so a good Samaritan ended up paying for me (if you’re reading this, thank you very much. Sorry I bolted. I was terrified and felt awkward). Around forty minutes of aimless wandering later, I found Price, and stayed there for the rest of the day (at least until the 4/20 festivities began). Thankfully, I have not gotten as lost this semester.

2. “Almost every panel could be half as long and just as informative.”

A thank you to Oberlin town prosecutor Farah Emeka, who immediately became my hero with her effective curt clipping of panelists’ long winded answers at Community 101. What a queen.

3. “Nobody here knows my stories yet!”

All of us probably have two or three super entertaining stories that all their friends and family are sick of hearing. Here they’re brand new, they’re fresh, and they’re hilarious again! A great way to trick your new classmates into believing that you’re fun and interesting! If you see me, ask me about the time I was bussing tables and overheard

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a guest talking about his boat! Or if you’re really in the mood to cringe, reference “Rejection Cupcake Day.” 4. “Everyone does like seventeen different things.”

And among those seventeen things, five are to the

starve because you’re afraid of the dining hall…you did this freshman year in high school too, remember how that turned out?

Dying of accidental self-inflicted starvation would be way more embarrassing than anything that could happen at Stevie… Love, Me” The first dew days after I actually made it to the dining hall, all I ate were deli sandwiches, fries, and cantaloupe, so maybe I need to do grocery shopping (bring back grocery swipes at Wilder!), or keep a food diary or something.

6. “Am I spending too much time alone?”

To be completely honest, it’s my first week, and I’ve spent a good chunk of it alone in my room watching South Park, napping, and working on this article. I need and appreciate my alone time, but part of me is terrified that I’m wasting my moment, this window when everyone is desperate to make friends, and that I’ll get left out. It doesn’t help that I can con-

isn’t easy, y’all. Bumps are normal.

8. “Kudos to the PAL program and the OC.” I would have to say that they were definitely the most valuable aspects of my orientation experience. Shoutout to Dragon Tree and the amazing Kira Findling for being an invaluable support system these past few days. I have absolutely no idea how I would have done orientation without them.

Also, aside from the group picture attempt at the end (where unsurprisingly someone fainted in the 800+ person crowd in the burning heat while everyone was encouraged to stand closer to each other), Cleveland was a great success in my opinion. As for the OC, the skits were great, but I mostly appreciated the discussion afterwards. Led by our great RA Kaitlyn Tonra, I feel like my group was able to have in-depth and nuanced conversations, especially in regards to relationship abuse and sexual assault. I understand that I am super lucky to have gotten so much out of it, because, after talking to other first years, I realized that a lot of other groups didn’t really take the issues seriously. The people who don’t take those things seriously are the ones that really need to receive those messages, which is really sad.

9. “I still am who I am.”

I thought I’d be a better me at college, but I’m realizing that the change that people talk about comes way slower. I still don’t make my bed. I still have to listen to something in order to sleep. I still have to use strawberry-flavored children’s toothpaste. I still don’t drink enough water. I’m not having all the sex I didn’t have in high school (yet). But the change in environment does make an immediate difference. Where I come from, having colored hair, getting favorite word tattoos, obsessing over InDesign layouts, and loving age-inappropriate shows such as Steven Universe or Frasier made me everyone’s delightfully quirky acquaintance. Here, those attributes can be conversation starters, things I have in common with my peers, and even open the door to meeting more people and getting involved in ways that feel natural and exciting.

DEAR ME, DYING OF ACCIDENTAL SELF-INFLICTED STARVATION WOULD BE WAY MORE EMBARRASSING THAN ANYTHING THAT COULD HAPPEN AT STEVIE… LOVE, ME

benefit of fellow humans or other animals, four are leadership roles, three have gotten them awards, two are super exclusive and coveted, and at least one is some job I’ve never heard of. Compared to them, I have never done a single significant thing in my entire life. Part of me feels like I should start signing up for things left and right before everything is taken, but a bigger part of me wants to just keep my head down and try to pass the classes I haven’t even started yet.

5. “I’m not equipped to feed myself.”

An excerpt from a letter I wrote in my notes app: “Dear Me, you can’t let yourself

stantly hear people talking and laughing right outside my window, but it does help to imagine that most people are insecure, over-compensating, and in reality just as uneasy as I am when it comes to making real friendships.

7. “Almost everyone has had some minidisaster.”

Someone in my PAL group overslept and missed Cleveland, my roommate lost both her key and keycard, and I found that there was a Student Accounts hold when I tried to register for classes. Many long stories short, we were all okay in the end. Starting college

This Is Not a Call To Action: I’m Coming Out

(as a Former Gibson’s Employee)

BY SOPHIE JONES | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

to their icey cars.

The protests petered out once Gibson’s was filled to the gills with leather-clad (in a scary way, not a sexy way) bikers. Shortly thereafter, the College, having briefly put their daily donut order on hold, resumed business with Gibson’s as usual. For the three students charged, the ordeal continued with a trial that stretched into August 2017, culminating with allocutions and guilty pleas for attempted theft and aggravated trespassing.

A year after the initial incident, Gibson’s filed suit against Oberlin College and Dean Meredith Raimundo, alleging, among other things, libel and infliction of emotional distress. The legal document is peppered with fun buzzwords like “fake news.” Ironically, Breitbart and other notorious right-wing outlets have had a field day with the Gibson’s story, which is longer and more complicated than I can describe here and constitutes the perfect opportunity for ye liberal arts students to try out your hard-earned research and critical thinking credentials; I’m saying you should google it.

The lawsuit is ongoing (needless to say, the College finally stopped buying donuts), which means I have to be Very Careful

about not libeling my former employer.

I also am 100% Not Allowed To Write A Call To Action. Don’t worry! This is certainly not A Call To Action! I’m not going to tell you not to shop at Gibson’s, but I will tell you that the social implications of being seen at Gibson’s are much worse than most other freshman year faux pas I can imagine… a sloppy makeout in broaddaylight DeCafe? Wearing your ID on a lanyard around your neck? You (thanful-

THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF BEING SEEN AT GIBSON’S ARE MUCH WORSE THAN ANY FRESHMAN FAUX PAS I CAN IMAGINE...

PHOTOS COURTESY OF BRYAN RUBIN, OBERLIN REVIEW In retrospect, I should have been suspicious of Gibson’s Bakery-- the sign advertising “Jewish Rainbow Bread” in the window was an obvious red flag -- the minute they hired me one wintry afternoon in my freshman year. I applied because I needed an additional job, wanted to work off campus, thought the pressed-tin ceiling was pretty, and was woefully uninformed of the bakery’s reputation for racial profiling. I washired on the spot.

I spent two months hawking Gibson’s sugary wares, eating dropped donuts, and gossiping with my coworkers; many of whom abhorred their employers as much as any conscientious Obie. We swapped stories of our bosses while crouched in the slim blindspot where the Monsieurs Gibson (there are three) couldn’t see us from the upstairs office concealed behind a two-way mirror. It was from this secret vantage point (where yellowed Oberlin academic calendars from the ‘70s still hang) that our bosses would monitor not only us, but our customers, as well. I quit quickly and quietly once I learned this needful fact, the final straw after several personal interactions with management that I found inappropriate.

For the remainder of my freshman year, I only referred to my time at Gib-

son’s as the punchline in jokes about my own cluelessness. And yet, as embarrassed as I was of my past profession, there was a startling power in knowing who amongst my peers had a fondness for maple bars and chocolate shakes even as they claimed not to patronize the shop on moral grounds.

Things changed in early November 2016, when the youngest and most infamous of the Gibson patriarchs, Allyn, got in an altercation and chase with three Black Oberlin students he suspected of shoplifting. The cops were called, the students were arrested. Days of earnest protest ensued, followed by years of stringent boycott.

The 2016 presidential election was fresh; the violence at Gibson’s, to me, felt like another, more personal reminder that white complacency like my own was a delusion, a two way mirror behind which systemic racism operated unhindered.

Lined up in front of Gibson’s, shoulderto-shoulder with students and community members chanting “This Runs Deeper” and stomping to keep warm felt real and productive in the face of so much badness. I recognized my former coworkers, pressing through the picket line to work, then hurrying back out twelve hours later

ly) can recover from these things. Indulging in a Gibson’s glazed donut? Less so.

Last week, I saw your parents milling about Gibson’s paltry outdoor seating, colorful ice creams in their sticky grownup hands, all weepy over their little ones growing up. How nervous they must have been dropping you off at this bastion of liberal arts education, this laughing stock of effete news magazine editorials about “kids these days”. When they come crawling back for parents weekend in a couple months, make sure to impress them your newly acquired political convictions and consider taking them to Cowhaus Creamery.

Discourse and Dialogue: A Barefoot Approach

BY ROSIE RUDAVSKY | CONTRIBUTOR In the past few years, more than one nationally published article about campus discourse, or lack thereof, has mentioned Oberlin College by name. The articles discuss trigger warnings, protests over cultural sensitivity, and safe spaces. They often simplify student experiences, not taking into account the ways that Oberlin, like other institutions, has marginalized the voices of low-income students and people of color while privileging voices that benefit the status quo of the institution. The result, according to critics, is that we are cut off from different perspectives, and do not even allow them a chance to enter and perhaps contaminate our minds.

It would be dishonest, however, to say this critique is completely unfounded.

Both actively and passively we all separate ourselves from what causes us discomfort.

We choose to spend time in spaces where we belong, where we easily find commonalities with others. The problem arises when we approach those with whom we have disagreements, those who live different experie n c e s than ours,

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as our inherent opponents, instead of our possible allies.

In a discussion with Julie Schreiber, a fellow Oberlin student, about discourse on campus, she explained the phenomenon of getting “cancelled.” When someone makes a comment in class, on social media, or even in a personal conversation that crosses the line of acceptable discourse – that is, the acceptable opinions and rules of political correctness most of us abide by – this person becomes defined by their mistaken statement. They can be removed from their student groups’ leadership positions, and even unwelcome in their friend groups.

Clearly all discourse ought to be respectful.

Sometimes, though, we see a behavior as ir-

redeema b l e .

When the commitment to understanding the other is not respected, it may make sense to confront and sometimes remove people who are making a space nonconducive to dialogue or unsafe.

However, there is a difference between sharing an opinion, a question, an experience that may not align with the Oberlin mainstream, and actively causing harm. For example, many students grew up in highly pro-Israel environments, and were shocked to come to college and hear such different news, opinions and experiences about the IsraeliPalestinian conflict than they heard at home.

It would not be respectful to shoot down those new understandings with derogatory c o m ments or ac-

cusations. However, an expression of what they have learned, of where they come from, or of confusion, might be warranted, and instead of addressing this with public shaming, it could be addressed with conversation that could lead to really hearing a different perspective.

Without space for dialogue that seeks to understand-- not to convince, shame or discount a person in their entirety-- the fractures that already exist expand, groups become further isolated, people become afraid to share, are unable to grow and learn from people different from themselves. Without an intentionality and respect for the humanity of both the receiver and the speaker, space for reflective dialogue is squashed, and as Julie expressed, “There is not enough room for redemption.”

At Oberlin, I have found the Barefoot Dialogue program to be one exception to this rule. For the past five years, twice a month, groups of 12-16 students have gathered to share a home-cooked meal, to read a discussion-prompting piece, and to engage in dialogue. The student groups, either meeting in Interfaith or Secular cohorts, are intentionally composed of people with identifiable differences, resulting in a group rich in diversity of experience. The stated goals of the

David Dorsey, the multi-faith chaplain on campus who directs the dialogue groups, stressed to me that this work will not radically transform Oberlin. “This is not salvific activity, we are not fixing anybody or anything,” he explained. “We are choosing to be in the company of one another and sharing honestly from our own lives.”

Barefoot Dialogue accepts that it’s scope is limited – it is an experiment each time a group sits, eats, talks and listens. While the impacts of the dialogue exist primarily within the moments students spend together, these impacts are significant. To listen openly, seek understanding and share vulnerably are uncommon practices and have pushed me to face myself and others more honestly, to respond with my truth, and to carry discomfort close at hand. This program offers no simple fix to the extraordinarily complex ins-andouts of discourse at Oberlin. It does, however, offer a space to practice disagreement without condemnation, respect in speech and listening, and to humble oneself. These radical acts would do well to surpass the limits of an intentional dialogue and sneak their way into our day to day. Who knows? Maybe they already have.

THE PROBLEM ARISES WHEN WE APPROACH THOSE WITH WHOM WE HAVE DISAGREEMENTS, THOSE WHO LIVE DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES THAN OURS, AS OUR INHERENT OPPONENTS, INSTEAD OF OUR POSSIBLE ALLIES. program are to “engage across difference,” “foster the integrity of the self,” explore one’s “relation to the land” and favor “meaning over agreement.” In practice this has meant moving beyond intellectual analysis to questioning my own beliefs aloud, expressing that vulnerable itch in my throat, which rarely finds the space to be shared. It also means breathing in surprising new approaches, and struggling to accept that this new approach and mine can live in the same space without facing off.

Oberlin College Class of 2022 Gentrifies Cleveland in Just One Day

BY RUBY ANDERSON | BAD HABITS EDITOR AUGUST 30th, 2018—Cleveland, OH “When I first seen ‘em, I thought they was some kinda summer camp on a field trip or somethin’,’’ reported Clive Cloverson, a lifetime resident of Cleveland’s Ohio City neighborhood. “But then I looked closer and saw: they was college kids!

And I knew somethin’ was up.”

Cloverson is correct—although the matching t-shirts and the grouping of students into cohorts named after trees could be read as being a bit camp-like, many first years appeared to enjoy the event.

The trip to Cleveland was part of “Connect Cleveland,” an Oberlin College initiative to “alleviate urban blight, fund diverse initiatives, and create career connections for Oberlin students in downtown Cleveland.”

“When I decided to come to Oberlin, I really didn’t know anything about Cleveland, to be honest,” mused Esme Flood, a first year from Westchester, NY. “I just assumed it was some toxic waste dump. From deindustrialization, you know. But now I see it’s more than that— Cleveland is well on its way to becoming a hub for innovation! It’s really an upand-coming city located in America’s heartland: the nexus of Old and New!” The students spent the day getting involved in several service learning projects. One group, the Cottonwood Cohort, played in a community basketball tournament organized by the Cleveland Police Department. The tournament, “Hoops in the Hood,” has been happening since heightened

tensions between community members and the CPD required creative solutions.

“Check this out,” said Barrows resident and Portland (ME, not OR) native Franklin Turner. He showed me a photo on his phone depicting himself with a small child on his lap. “This is my new little buddy, Malik. We’re gonna be homies for life.” I then watched him post the photo on Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat with the caption, “Me and my new little buddy Malik have #BigClevelandEnergy #Oberlin2022” Not everyone was hoopin’ it up with new homies, however. Freshman Talulah Jasperson was clearly over it.

While the other first years in the Palo Verde cohort helped lay the first tracks for the new Cleveland City Streetcar line, Jasperson sat on the curb looking at astrology memes. When asked for comment, she peered over her large sunglasses (clout goggles, the kids call them) and scoffed at me before saying “I think it’s really lame we have to wear these shirts.” I noticed she had fashioned hers into a crop top.

After just one day in Cleveland, the class of 2022 was ready to put down roots. One Kahn resident was reportedly on the phone with his dad on the bus ride back to campus, begging for seed money to start a coffee delivery app operating in downtown Cleveland.

The long-term impact of initiatives like “Connect Cleveland” remain to be seen, but judging by the number of students on campus sporting tote bags featuring the city’s skyline, Cleveland

THE GRAPE

will have a place in the hearts of Oberlin students for weeks, maybe even months, to come.

COURTESY OF PRESIDENT AMBAR’S INSTAGRAM

How to be Cool at Oberlin An Insider’s Guide

BY GREG GEOGRAPHY | CONTRIBUTOR Hey there first-years and other people who aren’t cool (yet) at Oberlin! My name is Greg, and the one thing you need to know about me is that I’m really fucking cool.

I turn heads all over campus, whether I’m busting a move at Splitchers, Juuling in the middle of Mudd, or shotgunning a PBR outside of East on a Tuesday. So without further ado, here are some of my proven tips for being hot shit on campus: Fashion • Pants that fit? Don’t need ‘em.

• Stick and pokes are all the rage these days, but have you tried dipping your arm in the Arb and seeing what kind of pattern the blood poisoning makes?

• Think carefully about whether going barefoot is right for you. The freedom is appealing, but there’s also a lot of squirrel shit in Tappan.

• Ankle socks only.

In Class • When in doubt, a Foucault quote is always appropriate. Referencing Marx may be tempting, but it’s a homing beacon for every unkempt white guy within a 20-foot radius.

• It’s important to keep in mind that the more words you use to make a point, the smarter you are.

• Professors are there for you. Interrupt them whenever.

Around Campus • Join a co-op right away. If you don’t smell like lentils and weed after a meal, you’re doing it wrong.

• Making upperclassmen friends is essential, but be careful not to try too hard. I recommend super-liking the first PAL leader you find on Tinder and seeing where things go from there.

• Neverwork anywhere in Mudd other than the first floor, preferably in Azariah’s. This will boost your visibility and make you seem smart as hell— just remember to keep at least two tabs open to JSTOR at all times.

• Learn to bike without holding onto the handlebars, and do it through Wilder Bowl any time between 4–6 PM on Fridays.

In Conversation • Sports are fun and all, but to really get that “cool liberal arts kid” vibe it’s preferable to mock sports and the people who play them relentlessly.

• Whenever possible, bring up most recent article you’ve read by one of the following outlets: Jacobin, The Intercept, Autostraddle, JSTOR Daily, Cosmopolitan, Real Change, etc.

When you get too high before a disorientation party and decide to contemplate your most intimate relationships on the dance floor of someone’s dilapidated off-campus dwelling

•

•

•

Use the term “social capital” sarcastically whenever possible. It shows that you’re attuned to the social intricacies of small college life while signaling that you’re nonetheless above it all.

For you first-years: make constant jokes about being first-years and new to campus. It does wonders for integrating into the campus community.

Only discuss musical artists who meet at least one of the following criteria: played a Tiny Desk Concert, can only be listened to via Bandcamp, or have fewer than 400 likes on Facebook (***when talking to white boys Animal Collective is also acceptable***)

That concludes my list. Just follow these tips, and you’ll be swimming in social capital in no time!

First-Year Meets Tree in North Quad Already Has a Lifelong Friend

BY ZOE JASPER | STAFF WRITER It’s no secret that orientation is a time fraught with social anxiety for firstyears. However, one bright-eyed, towheaded freak struck friendship gold on his first day away from home. On the way to smoke his inaugural college joint in North Quad, the 18-year-old stumbled upon an unlikely new connection.

“When I first bumped into the tree, I was pretty annoyed, but then I remembered what my mom told me about putting myself out there, even if

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it’s scary,” recalled the young student.

“It turns out, we actually have so much in common!”

This pair has formed an inseparable bond, thanks to said commonalities.

Although they do not participate in any of the same extracurriculars, listen to the same music, espouse the same political views, or even consume the same gas to live, the two share something even more special: they were randomly placed in the same general vicinity. Oberlin’s

newest duo do everything together, from eating silence-filled meals to paying $5 to get into an empty football house party.

“What I love most about our friendship is that I can put us on my Snapchat story and prove to my friends at home that I’m well-adjusted,” explained the freshman.

“My advice to other first-years who are nervous about starting school is this: cling to the first person or entity that crosses your path and never think critically about who you want to spend

your time with.”

Now that this dynamic duo has each other, they are looking forward to resuming a regular sleep schedule, rather than staying awake at all hours to avoid FOMO. They will also be attending their first ever Splitchers, where they will pass a Juul back and forth and avoid making eye contact with any other students. That’s what we call #squadgoals!

Miscegenation Blues My White Orientation Boyfriend

BY ANONYMOUS | CONTRIBUTOR In high school, I was never considered a “hot” girl. I was 5’10”, 180 pounds, had chronic eczema, and frizzy hair. What compounded my undesirability, though, was the fact that I was the only black person in my immediate friend group. It’s hard out here for a big black bitch, okay!

I was ready to accept whatever attention came from any boy.

So anyway, I’m 18 years old, and my parents had just dropped me off in my freshman dorm: A House. A group of us walk over to see The OC. This group includes The Boy—let’s call him Derek.

He’s wearing big white-dad sneakers, khaki pants, and an oversized white t-shirt.

It was 2015 and normcore fashion was just starting out, so he was quite ahead of the curve. And it’s embarrassing to admit, but it was his normcore style that attracted me.

We walked back from watching The OC

together, and we got to talking. His parents were rich, and he hated them. He had just read this book on anarcho-syndicalism, and was going to lend it to me (sidenote: I held on to this book until my junior year

album, Sung Tongs, and we laid in the dark of his A House double (another red flag—a white boy in A House!). Eventually, we started hooking up. And that first night wasn’t the last, oh no.

HE LOVED DEATH GRIPS, HE LOVED SCREAMING DEATH GRIPS SONGS IN TAPPAN SQUARE WHEN HE WAS DRUNK LOL). He loved Death Grips, and he loved screaming Death Grips songs in Tappan Square when he was drunk. It was all very cool to me.

Fast forward to like the 4th day of orientation. Derek and I had been getting closer, and one evening, we left a party together to go listen to music in his room.

He put on his favorite Animal Collective

This went on throughout Add/Drop and threatened to go all the way to first frost. He frequently dined at my co-op without doing a single second of crew. I folded his laundry. I even moved my stand fan into his room for better ventilation during sex.

This all changed one day. We were fucking—I was on top, and we were

listening to “Obituary” by Waka Flocka Flame. He was about to cum, and I could tell by the way his face scrunched up when he sang “I’ll bust ya head it ain’t shit to me!” He then paused, looked at me, and said “I think that me liking these songs is a form of blackface.” He then resumed singing along and nutted.

It was at that moment I knew I had to end my relationship with Derek. It wasn’t hard to ghost him—his fear of confrontation made it so I could quietly slip out of his life. While it was the first time I’d decided to take a dip in Cracker Lake, it certainly wasn’t the last. But that’s a story for another week...

It Happened to Me I Got A UTI From The Oberlin Arboretum

BY JANET TOPOGRAPHY | CONTRIBUTOR It was late August, and I had just arrived back on campus for my sophomore year.

I was on top of the world, and letting it show: late-night bike rides, all-white outfits, avocado toast, craft beer.

The Oberlin Arboretum (colloquially known as “the Arb”) was the site of much of this revelry. Located at the southern terminus of Cedar Street, the Arb provides an ideal site for pot smoking and woodland walking. It is also the location of the outdoor swimming option closest to campus.

Typically, I know better. The water in the arb is anything but inviting—it’s tepid, black, full of floaties. But it was early September, and my brain was made foggy by the thick, warm slobber of late summer in Ohio. I felt like I had no other option for relief from the heat, and in a moment of desperation, I decided to go swimming in the Arb. I took off all my clothes and stumbled into the pond. Entering is not an easy task. My method involved sinking into the mud and then flailing to a more central

location, one where my feet couldn’t touch the muddy bottom and subsequently be sucked into hell.

Once I was floating in the waters of the Arb, it was actually kind of nice—like a dark, leafy, lukewarm bath. I dried off and walked back to my dorm, feeling just a little itchy and bit slimy all over my body but grateful to have cooled down.

Considering the fact that I had just bathed in the grotto located at the mouth of the river Styx, I was feeling pretty okay.

Fast forward to the next day: I’m sitting in the first class of a queer theory seminar which was, in retrospect, doomed to crash and burn. I took an extended bathroom break. It was my eighth bathroom break of the day, which was weird because every time I went to pee, I was only able to produce tiny little droplets of urine. On this eighth trip I was finally able to make a full serving of piss. But something was terribly wrong.

When I peed, it felt like someone was dragging a rope covered with razor blades through my urethra. I looked in the toilet

and there was a mustard yellow cloud billowing in the bowl. I was friends with enough people at the SIC to know what was going on: I had a Urinary Tract Infection.

How did this happen to me? I was vigilant—I always peed immediately after sex, I had stopped wiping myself with dirty leaves after pissing in the woods. Then I remembered: the fucking Arb! In just a few strokes I had undoubtedly clogged my pee hole with several petri dishes worth of bacteria. I had made my bed, and it was time to lie in it.

I sighed, pulled up my pleated shorts, made peace with my fate, and went back to a classroom populated almost exclusively by people I’d made out with at Splitchers.

Later that day, I would spend hours frantically googling “UTI treatment no antibiotics” and “natural ways to cure a UTI.” A few days went by. I drank a lot of cranberry juice, took a lot of probiotics, and ate a lot of vitamin C tablets. The UTI eventually went away, but the memory of

my milky yellow pee in the King second floor bathroom still haunts me.

My advice to you, dear reader? Don’t swim in the Arb. If you’re going to swim in the Arb (and let’s be real, you are probably going to swim in the Arb), pee and take a shower immediately after. Because there is no worse impression to make on the first day of classes than ducking out to have a ghost pee every 15 minutes.