Issue 2 Summer 2021

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Vol. 69 NO. 2

OBERLIN’S ALTERNATIVE STUDENT NEWSPAPER

EST. 1999 July 16, 2021

ISSUE ONE COVER ART

ISSUE TWO COVER ART

Front Cover by Sam Merrick

Front Cover by Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez

Back Cover by Eleanor Winchell Priya Banerjee and Levi Dayan Co-Editors-in-Chief Izzy Halloran Managing Editor Wyatt Camery Features Editor Liza MacKeen Shapiro Opinions Editor

Back Cover by Eva SturmGross Saffron Forsberg Arts and Culture Editor

Anna Harberger Layout Editor

Juli Freedman Bad Habits Editor

Eva Sturm-Gross Art Director

Fiona Farrell, Teagan Hughes, Kira Mesch, Anna Scott, Daisy Vollen Staff Writers

Sam Blieden Web and Photo Editor

Letters from 1/2 of the Editors Priya Banerjee Co-Editor-in-Chief Letter from (½ of) the Editor(s) It’s me, Priya, again. What a tumultuous couple weeks this has been! For our little vacation me and a bunch of buddies headed on over to the Big Apple and had a blast.

We laughed, we danced, we drank, and we threw up (not me). The big city is fun, but coming back to Oberlin felt like watching TV after going grocery shopping (an awesome feeling). I was very sad but I think everything is going to be okay. It is better to be sad than to be bored, so all-in-all things aren’t so bad. In fact I’ve just met some new grown-ups/neighbors that have great things to say. And I’m almost 22. I have a lot more time to myself now, and I’ve been thinking of new ways I can spend my time...Here’s some of them: Convince the stray cat to live inside of my house (he is named Stringbean/Pipeline) Concrete bits and then cover in wax Write down everything I do every day so that I never forget anything I’ve seen Construct a giant head with Papier-mâché Run very fast It doesn’t really feel like summer this summer so another one of my new projects is to convince myself that it’s summer. I think I might need to watch some TV in the middle of the day, get my bike fixed, and only wear gym class clothes. I’ll let you know if it works in the next issue...I LOVE YOU! XOXO, PRIYA

By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!

Priya Banerjee Co-Editor-in-Chief Adam Driver, super beefy king of the screen and totally beloved busted heartthrob will be right here in Oberlin, Ohio! Mr. Driver will be strolling through our very own downtown filming for the upcoming movie White Noise, based on the hit novel by Don DeLillo. The film, set to be released in 2022, will be produced by Netflix and directed by Noah Baumbach. And Greta Gerwig is in it too (they’re dating). So this weekend there will be lots of celebrities crawling around town. A few weeks ago a man and a woman with Netflix badges came up on my porch and asked for my landlord’s phone numbers so that they could use our driveway for a generator (potentially for an awesome celebrity trailer…). I said yes of course).

The house they are filming at is big and blue and beauti-

ful...but the person who lives there was once mean to us about our recycling can and how we feed the stray cats. The construction crews have been hard at work for weeks to prepare the house for filming! Some of our very own staff members will be extras in the film...but we will keep their identities a secret to protect their privacy (no autographs just yet!). This is all very exciting for everyone in the community because when we watch the movie we might think to ourselves, ‘Hey! I know where that is, in fact I have been there!’ or ‘Hey wait a minute, that is my friend who works at the Grape!’. The Oberlin police department has announced that helicopters will be flying overhead on Saturday and Sunday from 6pm to midnight, and that we should not be alarmed and should instead be excited. Happy celeb sighting!

By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

The Greatest President in United States History Joshua Bowen Contributor The doors will open at 2 P.M., and although the 45th President of the United States isn’t going to be speaking until 7:00, my two friends and I decide to err on the side of caution, and plan to arrive sometime around 2:30.

The Wellington Trump rally is going to be packed. In spite of our best efforts, however, we find ourselves in a line of cars that stretch for what’s probably near a mile.

On the brightside, we get to marvel at all the welcoming signs for Trump, including a flowerbed which has been planted to spell out the former president’s name. Of course, I don’t imagine the people who planted it think of Donald Trump as a former president.

To describe the June 26 Trump rally in general terms, it sits somewhere around the nexus of a county fair, 1930s Nuremberg, and a classic rock concert. Before the speakers arrive, there is actually a cover band playing a mix of 80s rock, with a few more recent hits sprinkled in (“Uptown Funk,” for instance). The lead singer will occasionally try to enliven the crowd by ecstatically asking us if we are rebels—thankfully these queries are met

with virtually no response. Vendors are lined up near the entrance selling knock-off Trump merchandise, hotdogs, ice cold lemonade, and other fine American cuisine.

Nearly everyone around us is wearing “the hat,” or some spin-offs on its core MAGA design; there are flags of varyingly obscure ideologies and organizations draped around shoulders, and many attendees have dawned shirts with obscene sayings like, “Biden Sucks, Kamala Swallows.” I am surprised, however, over the real dearth of QAnon swag on display, and wonder if such insignia is no longer permitted at rallies after the January 6 riot at the Capitol. Whether or not this is the case, I do notice at least one woman wearing a Q-emblazoned t-shirt later during the event. No one—and this includes policemen, secret servicemen, and armed soldiers—is wearing a mask. Considering that counties which went to Trump in the 2020 election are far less likely to have a high percentage of their population vaccinated, and that many of the rally’s attendees are from out of state, the odds are good for a superspreader event.

In the crowd, which, like Yeat’s great beast, slowly lumbers toward its Bethlehem, I’m trying to listen in on the conversations of the sweat soaked, impatient mass huddled around me, while overhead, through the

loudspeakers, the coverband has been replaced by what I imagine is Trump’s iTunes playlist.

One man is explaining how he has grown disillusioned with the Republican Party, and that the only two politicians in his lifetime to have kept their promises were Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump. I fight the great urge to tell him that Reagan did not outlaw abortion, and Hillary Clinton does not appear to be in prison.

Despite this, disillusionment with officialdom and effeteness of regular politics does seem to be a popular sentiment among many Trump fans. And why shouldn’t they feel this way? What have Republicans, or even Democrats, done for working class people (who make up a significant portion of Trump’s base) in the last four decades? Of course, proponents of this view refuse to recognize a man who served as President of the United States for four years as also being a politician, nor does Trump seem to have succeeded in “draining the swamp” of corrupt officials, since they, as Trump, and every speaker at this rally contends, stole the election.

I try to hold onto threads of conversation in the maelstrom of intermittent, obnoxious attempts at chant starting, and speakers blaring the Village People’s “Macho Man,” but lose them somewhere as the crowd’s collective

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Greatest President continued

Photo by David Colabine mass jostles us towards the gate.

Before the group of spectators reach critical mass, we snake our way to the front of the crowd, within spitting distance of the gated off media section. Thankfully, the only thing that will be hurled on these correspondants is verbal abuse, and not actual spit. The loudspeakers are playing “Macho Man” again, and I can’t help tapping my foot to the song in the absence of any other distraction from the pain in my back, debilitating dehydration, and the absurdity of this situation I have willingly placed myself in. A woman to the left of me sees my dancing as a sign of a kindred Trump-lover, and starts up a conversation with my friends and me. “Were y’all in Washington?,” she asks. By serendipity alone, we have instantly built up a rapport with a participant in the Jan. 6th insurrection, and we do nothing to stymie her desire to relate the experience.

She had been with her husband, and claims that, as the crowd became more riled, they were supposedly pushed towards the entrance to the Capitol. She

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then pauses to make sure that we know that what happened that day wasn’t an insurrection. Because, she assures us, if it was, “we would have won.” They eventually fled after police disabled phone activity in the area. Our new friend then rails against the injustice of her and her husband later being turned away at the airport, and the media actually having recorded the episode.

“I just love Him,” she says, in response to her granddaughter asking her why she supports Donald Trump; “he keeps his promises.” Such parasocial relationships that many Trump fans exhibit with the President, journalist Michael Wolff argues in a recent article published in the Intelligencer, are attributable to his having far more direct interactions with the crowd than many politicians who leave speaking circuits after campaign season.

Surrounded by thousands of anticipant MAGA-capped heads lends this notion credibility. But the difference between Trump’s populism and a milktoast Republican like Ted Cruz, who has tried in

many instances to imitate the former’s populist rhetoric, is that Trump occupies a media space all his own. His continued baseless claims of election fraud are the apotheosis of five years of worldbuilding, in a sense, so there’s no need to prove anything to the people occupying it. If you want to appeal to such a base, you also have to genuflect to Trump’s parallel world, whether your a true-believer, or just a grifter.

Although Trump won Ohio pretty handily, his victory in the state was not enough for Dr. Douglas Frank, a science teacher (with a PhD in chemistry according to his personal website) at a school for gifted children in Cincinnati. Dr. Frank, who has been featured quite heavily in Mike Lindell’s documentary films which aim to prove the fraudulence of the 2020 election, is at the rally to show us the stats behind the steal. He prompts the audience by emphasizing that he’s simplified the maths for us, really driving home the point that what we’re about to see is obvious voter fraud on a mass scale. He

proceeds to inaccurately define the term “algorithm” and how one works, and then presents a series of graphs which, despite being screened on the jumbotron, are remarkably difficult to read. As Dr. Frank flashes through the graphs at a breakneck pace, pointing out putative inconsistencies between census data and voter turnout, I begin to worry that I’m having some dehydration-induced stroke. Meanwhile, everyone around me nods and mumbles amongst themselves in affirmation. Only later, after my friends and I have left this scene, does it occur to us that Dr. Frank’s insistence on the simplicity of what he’s arguing, and the spurious reason of his claims, seem a bit dubious to say the least. In fact, they’re familiar tactics to those of cult leaders trying to alienate an individual from reality, sort of transplanting them into some bizarro world where they determine the facts. And in a setting where everyone around you has, to some extent, given up reality for the narrative of a single authority figure, it’s hard to not fall under that spell. Isolated, something so asinine as, “the election was stolen because you can’t roll a dice 83 times and get the same number without that dice being controlled by an algorithm,” or “poll data reflecting the census means the results are fraudulent” can clearly be debunked. But surrounded by people who accept it without scrutiny… your mind stops being your own.

Which is why, I suppose, Republicans who refuse this narrative, or even do something small to draw the ire of its creator, always become enemies of Trump’s base. When Marjorie Taylor Greene takes the stage and disparages Rep. Anthony Gonzalez of Ohio’s 16th District House, who voted to impeach Trump, for example, her words are met with approbation and screamed accusations of Gonzalez being a RINO (Republican In Name Only).

We are indeed later graced with the presence of illustrious QAnon Queen Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is greeted with rapturous applause and one audience member calling out, “I love you Marjoire!” to which she responds, “I love you, too.”

Representative Greene’s ascendancy may at first glance seem to be a product of circumstance: a former crossfitter from Georgia promoting conspiracy theories, just another nobody riding on Trump’s coattails. And while Trump certainly set the stage, Greene has just as much bombast, and as strong an inclination towards bending reality for political purposes as the MAGA-man himself. Her speech to-

day is not only a paean to Trump, hailing him as the greatest President in American history, but is also pursuing more pragmatic ends than just paying tribute to the Godhead. She is here to galvinize Trump supporters, excoriate her enemies (Ihlan Omar, AOC, and pertinent to Ohio’s 16th District Congressional race, Anthony Gonzalez), and exhort attendees to elect representatives to Congress that truly represent their interests.

Although there are stands behind her where the more affluent attendees sit, having paid for actual seats, which are closer to the stands, she addresses us “real Americans” in the pit, whom she claims politicians in Washington don’t understand. The real people who understand the trials and tribulations of farmers in Lorain Ohio—which has a poverty rate of 25% —are billionaires (or so she says) like Trump, or heirs to multi-million dollar construction companies, like Greene herself. As with all politics at this point, whether liberal or nationalistic, there is but a thin veneer of identity politics under which runs the seemingly unstoppable current of neoliberlism. Your job as an actor in this spectacle is to point the feelings of alienation and discontent most people feel as a result of this interminable policy of privatization and exploitation in the direction of an opponent. For Greene and her constituents, these are “socialists” that argue for a Green New Deal, Black Lives Matter activists, and President Joe Biden. For liberals, that figure of contempt is Trump.

But the target of liberal ire may be shifting with MTG’s rising star. Her tirades against the RINOs and leftists are greeted with ecstatic cries and cheers and her condemnation of the media for its continued lies about the results of the 2020 election are echoed by violent jeering at the camera crews and correspondants to the right of us. If anyone can carry Trump’s legacy, it’s Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Up next is 15th District Republican nominee Mike Carry, who first acknowledges the challenge of following Greene’s act, and subsequently fails to do so. Peddling your standard fare about the stolen election and America first policies, he lacks the outsider energy many Republicans are attempting to cultivate. He fails to grasp the real heart of Trump’s appeal—he fails to add his own spin to the narrative, to make himself MAGA cannon, instead coming off as more of a toady.

Rep. Jim Jordan similarly can’t seem to stray too far from his standard neocon roots. Although he’s been one of the for-

mer President’s closest allies in Congress, he still very much presents as an alien in the movement, focusing less on the spiteful rhetoric, and more on the dangers of reducing fossil fuel consumption at the risk of job losses. Just how long your garden variety Republican can stay a viable candidate is hard to say, but Trump’s brand of wrathful populism appears to be metastasizing throughout the whole party. The biggest difference between Democrats and Republicans at this point is that, while the former does all in its power to suppress its popular extremists, the GOP has embraced them.

Max Miller, another Congressional candidate in Ohio, also attempts to become a Trump in miniature. Miller is competing for the 16th district, the House seat currently occupied by the day’s whipping boy, Anthony Gonzalez. But whereas Carry lacked bombast, Miller turned it up eleven. Following Jim Jordan’s speech, Miller comes to the stage to bestow upon Gonzalez in Trumpian fashion the nickname “Turncoat Tony.” Needless to say, this does not work. The epithets Trump gives his enemies are always biting in their crudeness, and there’s no sting to such an antiquated term as turncoat.

Nonetheless, this is the man facing one of the Republicans who did not support Trump, and as evinced by a Republican so influential as Liz Cheney being demoted for dissenting from the pro-Trump party line, Gonzalez will likely not be spared.

After the wannabes have said their piece, we wait. Trump should be here in the next fifteen minutes. Everyone is a bit anxious, slick with sweat, dehydrated, but adamantly standing- or sitting -by for the man of the hour to arrive. We run through the same five or six songs again on the loudspeakers, “Macho Man” again, of course, several Elton John hits, and Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”, which, considering her comments about the President, I highly doubt the Save America Pac has the rights to. We proceed to go through this same playlist again, because Trump is an hour late, and at this point I’m very tempted to join some of my fellow attendees sitting in the grass. The air is thick with stale tobacco smoke, as our insurrectionist friend chain smokes some of the longest cigarettes I have ever seen.

But just as my companions and I have given up all hope of Trump arriving before nine o’clock, a triumphant rendition of “God Bless the USA” begins to play, and the bulwarks that could barely contain people’s anticipation finally burst open as Donald Trump ascends to the

podium. Everyone is elated: deafening shouts and thunderous applause greet a king finally returning to his people. The former President soaks in their adulation.

Audience members around me scramble to film Trump’s address, so I, and the thousands of people behind me, don’t really have much of a visual. It’s strange, too, because unlike every other speaker that came before, organizers have neglected to turn on the jumbotron for the main event. Nonetheless, Donald Trump begins his spiel with characteristic insouciance, starting with the classic condemnation of America’s policy on undocumented immigrants. “Our poor borders, they were so perfect, so good.” he laments, following with the hyperbolic claim that under Biden, the influx of undocumented people’s has reached all time high. Trump goes beyond the lukewarm assaults of civil politics, employing the same sort of “end of days” language that you might find in a Millennialist sermon. Biden’s presidency is not only a crisis, it is an apocalypse.

Trump takes a moment, however, to contrast this barbarism with the sanctity of communities like Wellington, complimenting residents on their welcoming signs and exquisite lawn-care. “I bet you don’t have any murders here,” he speculates, to which a few people surrounding us quietly disagree. In an even further display of surprising disrespect for the former President, demands for the jumbotron to be turned on pick up steam, and eventually come to drown out Trump’s speech. Trump doesn’t acknowledge this, however, and first just tries to continue as if everyone in the stadium isn’t screaming at him. Then he pauses, waits for the crowd to calm, and then picks up again where he left off. Eventually the crowd gets its way, but even then, the camera’s distance from Trump is far greater than it was for every speaker before him.

Even if this weren’t the case, however, Trump is not nearly as imposing a speaker as liberal media networks make him out to be. My friends and I only stick

around long enough to hear Trump’s telling of the allegory of the woman who nurtures an injured snake back to health only to end up getting bitten, apparently supposed to reflect the U.S.’s embrace of undocumented immigrants. Not only is this metaphor highly objectionable in its comparison of people trying desperately to escape poverty and war to a treacherous snake, it can hardly be said that the United States has cared for such tired and poor huddled masses. Despite Trump’s claims otherwise, the immigration policy under his administration has barely changed under Biden’s.

While Trump’s performance was itself rather uninspired, his return to the public eye and the mass turnout of the first stop on his Save America Tour are testament to the staying power of his movement. Although Democrats represented the 2020 campaign as the ultimate battle to stop Trump, it’s now all too clear that the former President has managed to effectively split off a substantial portion of America’s population, with the Guardian reporting that some 25% of Americans believe Trump is the “true President.” As former General and QAnon promoter Mike Flynn stated in a 2016 post-election speech, “the American people decided to take over the idea of information. They took over the idea, and they did it through social media.” Although Flynn’s conception of the American people consisting of far-right influencers and conspiracy theorists is certainly off base, he is quite right in saying that just what information means has for most Trump supporters, changed irrevocably. This movement has a world of its own which even without Trump being in the White House can maintain itself, and even further metastasize into what was once a nationally accepted reality of mainstream media (e.g. Newsmax). One could even argue that Trump’s presidency was a pacifier for his adherents, and that the onus of saving America will be upon his legion of fans empowered to now enter the political arena themselves.

His continued baseless claims of election fraud are the apotheosis of five years of worldbuilding, in a sense, so there’s no need to prove anything to the people occupying it. If you want to appeal to such a base, you also have to genuflect to Trump’s parallel world, whether your a true-believer, or just a grifter.

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What is an Internet Cooperative?: The Oberlin Cable Co-op and Member-Owned Internet Teagan Hughes Staff Writer If you’ve walked down E College Street, you’ve almost certainly passed the front window of the Oberlin Cable Co-op, billed as “Your Cable Company.” The Cable Co-op, founded in 1986, serves the Oberlin area as well as most of New Russia Township, much of which lies north of the Oberlin corporation limit. They provide internet and cable services, including community-oriented and school channels, to homes and local businesses, as well as the College’s Village Housing. Their mode of operation is right in their name: Co-op. But what does it really mean for an internet service provider to be a cooperative?

The Oberlin Cable Co-op is a member-owned non-profit, meaning that everyone who receives internet and/or cable services through the Co-op is a partial owner of the non-profit. “The basic idea is that people who would use the goods or services become members rather than customers,” says Jay Shrewsbury, the Operations Manager of Oberlin Cable Co-op. “The company that’s supplying the goods or services is actually a nonprofit, and they’re ran by an elected board that, again, is elected by the members.” The Co-op is the only memberowned non-profit internet provider in the state of Ohio.

Members may vote for the Board of Trustees, which is in turn staffed entirely by members. The Board of Trustees has oversight over the staff of the Cable Co-op and the services it provides.

Cooperative internet isn’t the only form of locally-owned internet with subscriber input. There’s also municipal broadband, a form of internet that is publicly owned and operated. However, there is an important distinction to be made between municipal internet and member-owned internet. Municipal broadband is partially or wholly controlled and administered by local governments using public funding. Member-owned, or cooperative, internet is a self-contained entity in which all subscribers hold an equal share in the cooperative.

Despite this difference, both allow for greater community engagement and subscriber control than national internet service provider corporations, which are becoming increasingly monopolistic as broadband connection becomes increasingly indispensable.

The Cable Co-op has been involved with numerous public entities in Oberlin, such as Oberlin City Schools and the Oberlin Public Library, which are two of their longest-running engagements. In 1989, the Coop provided a link to Oberlin City Schools and helped launch the Oberlin School Channel as a part of their cable package. According to Shrewsbury, the channel is still operative today, broadcasting sports events, performances, and other school-related programming. In 2003, the link to the school district was upgraded to a fiber optic link at no cost.

The Oberlin Public Library was another benefi-

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ciary of the no-cost 2003 fiber optic upgrade. The Cable Co-op also helped to launch The Bridge, the OPL’s community technology center. According to their website, The Bridge “provides free internet and computer access and educational classes to help bridge the digital divide within our community.” The Cable Co-op has supplied internet to The Bridge at no charge since its inception in 2000. “Cable Co-op has been an essential part of The Bridge, Oberlin’s Community Technology Center since our beginning in 2000,” wrote Stephanie Jones, the Director of The Bridge, in an email on July 6th. “They have helped in bridging the digital divide in the community by donating free internet service to The Bridge. This has assisted in offering the Oberlin community a place to have free technology services.”

A recent engagement between the Co-op and Oberlin’s public entities came in 2020 with the Phoenix Initiative, which later transitioned into the Helping With Homework program. When Oberlin City Schools first switched to online learning in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Co-op provided free and later discounted internet to households without prior broadband service to facilitate distance learning. At its inception, the costs of the program were covered by the local government, which is no longer the case. “When the pandemic hit, we reached out to all internet service providers (ISPs) serving our student population and the Cable Co-op was the only provider willing to work with us and develop a plan of action,” wrote Steve Nielsen, Oberlin City Schools’ IT Coordinator, in an email on July 2nd. “The Co-op significantly reduced pricing and was quick to provide internet access to every student in need within their service area.

Without the Cable Co-op, we would not have been able to start the year fully remote or have any level of success with our hybrid program.”

You may be familiar with another initiative of the Cable Co-op’s: the Environmental Dashboard. The Cable Co-op helped launch the Dashboard, which is now visible in many campus buildings. “Originally, many years ago, when that [the Environmental Dashboard] very first started, it was me and a gentleman from the

By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

college called Art Ripley, who was the head networking guy, and I helped him actually set those up at all the different locations,” Shrewsbury says. “It’s evolved a lot since then, but that was the beginning of it.”

Despite the high level of community engagement exhibited by the Cable Co-op, member ownership still comes with its difficulties. One of the largest difficulties is member participation. Though members have equal ownership of the Co-op and the opportunity to vote in its Board of Trustees elections, voter turnout in these elections is consistently low. There is a Board election coming up in September, and Shrewsbury predicts low turnout: “We’ll be lucky--lucky--if we get even ten percent of the membership to even cast a vote,” he says.

The Co-op also has difficulty getting members to run for the Board. “Obviously, as a member you can also run for an elected position, and it’s something that I wish more people knew about and more people took advantage of.” The Board of Trustees has twelve members, though it has occasionally operated with fewer due to lack of candidates. Board members attend hour-long bimonthly meetings with the possibility of additional subcommittee meetings. Elections are every two years, and Board members can serve in unlimited four-year increments with mandatory breaks in between.

Though the Co-op generally doesn’t receive public funding, they may be eligible for specific state government grants. On Thursday, July 1st, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine signed into law a new state budget that expands a grant program for rural broadband providers. The grant program, called the Ohio Residential Broadband Expansion Grant Program, was awarded an additional $250 million to distribute to internet service providers for the purpose of broadband expansion into unserved areas. Though the text of House Bill 2, the law that initially established the program last May, specifies that “governmental and quasi-governmental entities” are not eligible for funding, the Cable Co-op may still be eligible.

This also means that municipal broadband is not eligible, despite its status as an internet provider—one of the many destructive provisions in the new budget. Shrewsbury, speaking before the new budget was approved

by DeWine, told me that the Co-op would look into the grant program once it was officially expanded: “We’re not sure yet, we haven’t dove into that...it’s gonna be something we’ll be exploring and seeing if it’s something we think will help the community, and if it is, we’ll take it on.”

Cooperative internet has clear benefits when it comes to community engagement and subscriber control. However, this model of internet service depends upon members engaging with leadership and providing input on big decisions, which can be a challenge at times.

“The most important thing about a membership-owned entity is that the members are active,” Shrewsbury says.

“That doesn’t mean they’re actively paying their bill, but they’re active in trying to help point the entity in the direction that’s best for the community.”

The Coming Renaissance of Studio B: A Conversation with Julia, Jeanne, and Jane!

Priya Banerjee Editor-in-Chief If you’ve been at Oberlin for a while you might remember a little something called Studio B. Though, if you’ve been at Oberlin recently, or within the last year, you probably haven’t heard too much from the once infamous little sister of WOBC. Studio B is Oberlin’s first and only student-run recording studio. It is most known for broadcasting the aptly named live radio show Live From Studio B. The musical guests featured on the show range anywhere from your friends’ band (that hasn’t yet been introduced to the world outside of the South practice room), a community member with a proclivity for classical guitar, or a kinda famous pop-star touring the country who decided to make a little stop in Oberlin. The group was created by TIMARA student Charles Glanders (OC’14) in 2013. The Studio B that Glanders created eight years ago has certainly changed, and the current members would argue that it has changed for the better. What was once a space that hosted exclusively white-guy punk bands has now become a venue that strives to diversify both the musical guests invited to perform, as well as the types of music brought into the space.

Since COVID, Studio B has struggled to remain operational after having lost access to the space due to social-distancing restrictions. The lack of adequate ventilation and open-able windows meant that the studio had to be shut down completely until Oberlin lifted all COVID restrictions this past May. The combination of having no access to sound and recording equipment alongside being unable to invite visiting artists to campus left the group with very few options. I sat down with Julia McCormick, Jeanne Hill, and Jane Rissover-Plotke, the last survivors of pre-pandemic Studio B, and they told me about how they are bringing the studio back to life. Here’s our conversation…

PRIYA: Hi Guys! So we’re at Studio B. We’re in the studio. Can you tell me a little bit about what goes on in here, and what’s happened to it recently?

JEANNE: There’s no windows.

JANE: The ventilation is all wrong. What happened was we didn’t get funding for our program to go on last year. Since it was COVID we couldn’t have any travelling artists come perform on our show, and we couldn’t even have anyone in here [in the studio]. We weren’t even allowed it in here...It was locked forever!

JULIA: No one was allowed in here, not even our ExCo which we attempted to do.

We did a workgroup in the Spring and an ExCo in the Fall, but it was difficult to keep it alive because we just had no motive to keep our club together in a lot of ways because they basically cancelled us––don’t use that word!

JANE: We had to completely reimagine what Studio B could be since we weren’t able to use our studio and all of our equipment in here, and it was hard to do performances outside. We tried to think of new ways that we could have the show live on, so we did little interviews with people in Wilder Bowl, and we played little games like ‘tell us a joke’ or ‘what’s your favorite smell’, silly things like that. We had hopes to do more but it was really hard because we weren’t getting paid.

JULIA: Well first thing we should say is that this is only the second time we’ve been in here for a year and a half, and it feels really good.

JEANNE: I think the morale of the student body at Oberlin was at an all time low. And we were also trying to edit old videos and audio, and there were a lot of problems with trying to get audio and video from people who already graduated that were dealing with the pandemic in their own ways.

PRIYA: I bet. I’m feeling it too. But...what happened?

Why haven’t you guys been able to do this whole thing in so long?

JULIA: And we weren’t all on campus, so our group was kind of split in two. When it came to introducing Studio B to the student body we had a difficult time because in

Image provided by Studio B’s Instagram

the past that mostly happened through our ExCo or our workgroup or doing videos and asking people questions.

But really, the way that Studio B is able to be accessible and come through to the student body is actually being able to be in this space because it’s very unique and you don’t really get to be in these kinds of spaces all that often when you’re our age and don’t really have experience. And I think what our ExCo was about in the past was actually getting your hands on a camera, actually being around sound equipment… [to JEANNE] I don’t actually know what you guys use for the sound stuff [little giggle]…

JEANNE: Oh you know, a mic, and a mixing board, and DI boxes…

JULIA: And when Studio B is open you don’t have to take an Oberlin class to get access to all that stuff.

JANE: Yeah. It was so hard because we tried to have our ExCo and our workgroup happen, but so much of our

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Studio B continued curriculum we weren’t able to do because we needed to be in the space and have the lights, and the cameras, and the mics, and the cords. It was challenging, but we’re looking forward to having it happen again in the future.

JULIA: We are SO looking forward to getting it back on track and making it better than ever before. And teaching new people for the future so that when we leave very soon Studio B will have a bright future. It’s an eight year old program, so it’s young. I think it’s really important to keep it going because we don’t want it to have only eight years total.

JANE: It was really on the up-and-up. Everyone across campus and a bunch of alumni knew what Studio B was and knew how important it was, and then COVID threw a wrench in it. It made us lose touch with the younger people because we couldn’t talk to them and show them the space because we just weren’t allowed to see anyone at all.

PRIYA: What was Studio B before COVID? What have we lost?

JANE: So we are WOBC’s Live From Studio B. We’re a live radio show, and we have musical guests and other performers come on the show every Sunday from 2-3pm. We interview them live on air in-between songs or poems or comedy. We’ve had a bunch of different artists come on the show. We tape the performances with cameras and mics, edit the videos, mix and master the music, and then release about eight minutes worth of content on our YouTube channel (Type in: Live From Studio B WOBC!).

PRIYA: Who are some of the musical guests that have come in here?

JANE: Frankie Cosmos, Girlpool…

we make for whatever they want to.

JANE: And bigger artists come on the show so that they can support upand-coming artists and students from Oberlin or community members.

And like Jeanne and Julia were saying, that benefits the community members and students here because of the YouTube algorithm and Google searches and all of that kind of thing. It promotes new people to get new fans.

JEANNE: And we also like to have a lot of non-men not only in the studio but in the ExCo as well, because especially in the audio world it’s so white-male dominated. So it’s very important to us to have staff that would not normally have the opportunity to work with people and have a community and have access to all of the equipment we have. And same with our performers––we try to get non-white men when we can.

JULIA: Something that we show in our ExCo everytime is that we really came from a White guy punk band fanbase. The White-guy punk band Oberlin students created Studio B, and that’s a lot of groups that were on in the beginning.

JANE: Yeah like all the love to Charles Glanders, but, Studio B is a lot more diverse than it was before and we are really striving to take that further. The people that take our ExCo and the artists we have on our show and the people that know about Studio B, we would love to just expand and diversify that. We hope to reach all corners of every area.

PRIYA: Wow it seems like Studio B is so fucking awesome! Is there anything else you guys wanna throw in?

JEANNE: We’re going to have an open house and a barbeque...and we’re going to make tote bags!

JULIA: Black Belt Eagle Scout. That was cool...

JULIA: Lots of Oberlin groups as well. We’ve had OSLAM.

JANE: And we want you to work for us! We need new members! We need one of each! We need an audio producer, a video producer and an executive producer. So if you’re interested and are a first or second year....Look out for our application.

JANE: We’ve had a lot of people from the Con, but we’ve also had a lot of people from the Arts and Sciences who just love music and create their own bands here.

JULIA: It’s a wonderful experience. I’ve only ever had the best ever experiences in Studio B. It’s thrilling. It’s exciting. It’s amazing. Let me tell you some of the dates of the things that we are going to have going on.

JEANNE: Community members too. So people in the Oberlin community that are in bands...I feel like it’s really special to have a mix of different artists from all over the place because then you have these students getting excited for their friends that are playing, and that gives us more recognition. And then we have touring bands that come to the ‘Sco or in Cleveland and then they come in and film them, and when we put their stuff up online somebody that’s Googling this band will come across a lesser known student band and get them some listens.

JULIA: That’s why I feel like it’s important for us to continue because we are basically building a collection of all these different artists that support one another through our platform. We provide free mastered tracks and videos for anybody that comes in. We don’t pay anyone to come visit us and they don’t pay us for any of the work that we do. It’s just kind of like...we are happy to have them in our space and they can use whatever

JEANNE, JANE, JULIA: Applications for our audio, video and executive production roles are out NOW! You can find them on our instagram (@ livefromstudiob) or on your grad year’s facebook page. We just released two sessions, one with a Philadelphia based band Highnoon and one with Katherine Paul also known as the talented Black Belt Eagle Scout.

You can find the tracks and videos from those sessions on our Live From Studio B Youtube page, our Bandcamp or on the WOBC website. We also have an open house coming up on the evening of Thursday July 22nd. We want you to come hang out with us, check out the space and learn more about Studio B. Stay tuned for more info on that event. We may have nice tote bags for you there. We’re also planning on hosting a house show and a barbeque…keep your eyes peeled for a bunch of fun and don’t forget...Studio B loves you!

JANE: That was epic…

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Float and Crash: An Hour with Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez Saffron Forsberg Arts and Culture Editor Joaquim and I finally meet on the last day of June; it’s a soggy, midterm-laden Wednesday night. He joins me in a dim Wilder booth, and we laugh obligingly as I rifle through a carcass of a spiral notebook, fool with my sooty cup of coffee. Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez is a multimedia artist—a soft-spoken third-year art major with a project always in the works. I’d been acquainted with him first through his unmistakable sound at house shows and cool-guy parties around Oberlin, where he spins as DJ Sour for creaky floorboards and shared Camels and the smell of warm bodies. At his last set, he’d spun following a host of harsh noise acts at the apartment of a friend of mine. I admitted that I hadn’t been all there. I sunk in my seat, threw my head back, and said in a dopey drawl that mimics what I think I sound like sloshed: “Man, I don’t know anything, but that felt great.

I can dance to that. That was incredible, man.” He laughs easily. It’s all very collegiate. We reek of Oberlin, of intersecting social circles. I’d known the sound of his name through word of mouth, friends of friends of friends— yeah, we should go tonight. Joaquim’s spinning.

Joaquim is from Brooklyn. It’s where he grew up, deemed himself an artist: painted his first paintings, printed his first prints, worked on his first beats, picked up spinning at 17. He laughs as though guilty of something. “Yeah, I’m from Brooklyn...just like everybody else here.” I smile and place tally marks in my head as he tells me who he went to high school with—all people with whom I’m acquainted, who bump shoulders, at least peripherally, with Oberlin’s tiny DIY-art-major-houseshow-Guy-Who-Knows-About-Music scene.

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s a little weird seeing mad Brooklyn people here.” Indeed, Joaquim’s tight friendships—NYC, Oberlin, etc.—revolve, at least somewhat, around shared passions, a longing to create. He tells me about passedaround sketchbooks and chummy jam sessions, those he “bullied” into exploring DJ-ing, and those that pushed him further into painting. He didn’t really start meeting many DJs until Oberlin. I’m fascinated, and Joaquim just nods, “yeah, yeah. We kick it.”

His attitude is a warm divergence from the sometimes individualist careerism that absorbs the serious, private college artist; those who have made “creative” a noun, a marketable identity to which nobody and everybody belongs. He is an artist eager to collaborate, and we speak of this extensively. His last release was a collaboration with DJ Printer—two tracks on Screen-Glo Records’ summer compilation.

Joaquim, too, like a lot of up-and-coming artists, is shy to call himself one. He’s mellow, laughing at the eyes. “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I just wing it,” he says, gazing past me. His demeanor is one of reticent confidence, soft-spoken self-possession.

“It does not come across,” I tell him.

“I have, like, a family friend who’s an artist. And he did a...kind of...I guess it was performance art. He lived in a storefront for like two weeks, in Manhattan. And he was like ‘do you wanna come do something? I’m just having, like, guests.’ And at this time I was making music and stuff, I was making tracks, but I didn’t really know how to showcase them or anything? So I was, like, alright I guess I’ll learn how to DJ. So I learned how to DJ [laughter] in, like, a really short amount of time. Not well but… that kickstarted me, pretty much.”

Joaquim started DJ-ing in high school, in around 2017.

Joaquim’s own visual art is a mingling of styles. Lately,

S: How did you figure that [DJing] out?

J: Uhhh. Just YouTube. [laughs] S: [laughs] Really!

J: I feel like I just had, like, VirtualDJ, just free VirtualDJ on my computer for a while. But that was the first time I sat down and tried to DJ. S: Oh wow. That’s always a comforting thing to me, when people tell me they just learned [something] from YouTube. Because it always seems so unattainable!

J: I love YouTube. Like so much.

We land on the subject of social media. Obligatory. Joaquim has a fairly indifferent relationship with Instagram; he has an art Instagram because he feels like that’s what one does as an artist, but the platform itself is not a motivating one. His account houses a tight portfolio of visual art pieces, Bandcamp links, and graphics promoting shows in Oberlin. He mainly enjoys social media for viewing other people’s visual art. I ask him who and what he’s been digging lately, and he takes out his iPhone.

“So there’s this guy Hugh Hayden [@huthhayden].” I am handed a screen gridded with bright, textured sculptures of everyday items—ladders, frying pans, a classroom desk. Some gleam with oily studio light, others are constructed of jagged wood. Their gnarly branches bust forward. We pay special attention to some lustrous frying pans in red, green, and yellow enameled cast iron. They take on dramatic human expressions. “And you can, like, cook in them, too. Which is pretty nice.”

Joaquim prefaces another artist with: “Ok, so this is an artist I...I don’t...I haven’t figured out if I like her.” We laugh. “You know what I mean? I’ve paid attention to her for so long. Do you know Catherine Bernhardt [@ kbernhardt2014]?”

“No.” I’m eager.

Bernhardt’s captionless page is alight with large-scale fluorescent paintings. They’re loud and spry, occupying flat, perspectiveless planes. I am directed to an acrylic painting whirling in electric blues, oranges, and the green of Nickelodeon slime. I see sloths and papayas. “...It’s literally just random shit. I kind of don’t like her.

I kind of don’t like it because it’s ...meaningless, and I don’t really care. But I kind of just like to look at them.”

By Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez ‘22 he’s been working with acrylics, but he thinks himself a printmaker. Collaged elements and ink details scatter across bold planes of color. They hang in the foreground as though belonging to the painted set of a play. Being a painter myself, I’m invigorated by his freedom with color. Greens, oranges, pinks, reds, and pure blacks dash across panels, unabashed. Snakes spit fire. Mountains stand in shades of Pepto Bismol. Flowers seem to have their own visible auras. Even in his monochromatic ink projects, figures are bold and gesticulating, disinterested in stagnancy; negative space holds its own electricity. In his latest, a graphic, street art aesthetic is on display. A figure named DYSTOPIA sprays a brick wall: “COVID 19”.

At one point, Joaquim takes out his phone and shows me one of his newer works: a birthday gift for a friend.

S: You work very much on a flat plane.

J: Yeah. Actually yeah. Definitely.

S: Where do you think that comes from? Do you think that’s just, like, how you think about painting?

J: I feel like...I guess part of it is that I did print-making for a while. Like a lot more than I painted. So, I guess thinking in layers [is a part of it.] And I guess, sort of deviating from the flat part: kind of thinking about music, like electronic music. Like on the computer, you have rows...like your instruments are basically in a row, stacked on top of each other.

S: Yeah, yeah.

J: So I guess that kind of ties into the flatness. But I guess, also, now there’s something—well, I’m not sure

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Cooking from The Corleone Family Cookbook Kira Mesch Staff Writer

The preparation of the bruschetta was simple, just cutting up the tomatoes, basil, and garlic and letting it rest to the side in its marinade for about a half hour. We toasted the bread in Lily’s toaster oven, and then it was time to spoon the tomatoes and basil on top. Fellow staff writer for The Grape, Teagan Hughes, came over right as the bruschetta was done. Hughes has not seen any movies in The Godfather Trilogy either.

My friend, Lily Kohler, is currently renting a house in Oberlin for the summer. The house came with a cookbook entitled The Corleone Family Cookbook, by Liliana Battle (Author) and Stacey Tyzzer (Photographer). The cookbook lives in their kitchen, until now untouched, enshrined in an empty wine rack with the inscription “VINO” on it. We assume it was left either by the landlord, or by previous tenants. It belongs to nobody living in the house. One could say that in a way, Lily is renting the cookbook and living in the house as an added bonus.

We walked to and from the IGA for ingredients, cleared Lily’s counters, and put on the soundtrack to The Godfather Part I. As the sweet tones of an accordion played, we reflected on the task in front of us: I am lactose intolerant. Neither of us have ever seen any of the Godfather movies. This is our journey.

“That’s so good,” said Kohler of the food. “That’s tasty,” said Hughes, whose favorite part of the dish was the diced tomatoes. In my opinion, the acidic combination of oil, vinegar, and tomato juice was the best part of the dish. The time in which the mixture was left to sit let the flavors infuse together into a red liquid soup that tasted fantastic poured over the toasted bread. Kohler suggested even just dipping the bread straight into the liquid, an improvisation that I would cosign on.

At the end of our simple but delightful feast, we decided we all would want to make it again.

The Godfather Part I: Appetizer Course For this course, we made a bruschetta. We used three tomatoes on the vine, some garlic, some olive oil and red wine vinegar Lily already had in her kitchen, and a little bit of basil.

The Godfather Part II: Main Course For this course we made gnocchi. We first boiled potatoes until they were “tender,” which we joked meant that they were listening to Mitski. Lacking a ricer, I used a hand grater to rice the potatoes, then added the

An Hour with Joaquim continued actually, but there’s a painting I started—I get, I dunno, it’s very flat, but has its own space. That makes like no sense.

S: No, no. It does. There’s dimensions, even though it’s flat. I get it.

J: [laughs] Yeah, no, there’s dimensions. There’s no horizon line in this piece. And then there’s no shadows, there’s no shading, really. And then sometimes when I want to try to make space in the flat I’ll try to—like this one has a river going through it. It’s almost top to bottom, but tapers a little bit. I dunno I just like to fuck with perspective.

Indeed, there are no cheat codes to Joaquim’s depiction of space; perspective is built without the typical “tricks of the trade”—inky shadows, gooey highlights, sprawling horizon lines and perspective points. There is pure, musical movement in his works, no maps of quiet space, no background nor foreground, only matter. His visual art, in this way, reminds me of painters like Jacob Lawrence, Jammie Holmes, and Peter Saul; those who play with what it means to create and occupy space.

Joaquim’s inkling toward layering, too, speaks to his thoroughly multimedia process. Painting ties to printmaking which ties to music which ties back to painting.

We return to music. Being a relatively private ~artist~ with immense stage fright, I can’t help but ask Joaquim about the shows he DJs. He, too, though beloved by his cluster of arty buddies, likens himself an introvert with little hesitation; it’s something that, he finds, can be hard at Oberlin.

I nod. “Yeah, yeah. Very much so. There’s this

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constant weird pressure here [to network, to perform, to be witnessed as someone who does things]. I get it.” To be a sincerely quiet person at Oberlin can often feel like bending unspoken rules, despite the institution’s reputation for attracting those afflicted with goofiness, freakiness, awkwardness, and a pointed intention to be “out there.” Gawkiness and strange pants can only humble the Obie so much when the competitive allure of LA and NYC leers from a distance.

Joaquim, though more apt to barbeque with a few friends, tells me he doesn’t really get so nervous anymore about his actual live performances—not like at his childhood piano recitals when he’d be, admittedly, “buggin’ out.” Joaquim smiles, struggling a bit with my question of viscerality, the way I lean forward on the table between us, trying to glean just a bit of what it feels like to so actively perform one’s art. “It’s, uh, it’s validating. Definitely.”

S: Do you feel like, DJing, you kind of have— you’re kind of the background of an atmosphere, or do you think you’re “all eyes are on you”? How does it feel?

J: I think it depends on where. I opened for a couple shows at the ‘Sco, just DJing, and I think that’s definitely more background. Like I remember once, I was doing a set and everyone was going super hard...and I felt like, yeah, [somewhere like that] everyone’s paying attention. It was good.

S: It was good?

J: Oh yeah, yeah. It was good. I think part of being a DJ is navigating that consciously.

Another thing I can’t help doing: asking artists if they have a moment where things seem to shift for them,

when they felt invigorated by their place in a medium and the way they understand what they’re “into.”

J: Oberlin had kind of an overnight program for [high school] Juniors. And it was on Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And I went. And I had a friend who I stayed with and knew. And do you know [electronic artist] Yaeji? She did a set at the ‘Sco. S: Oh wow!

J: Literally when I was touring. And it was before she got famous. And I was like, ‘whoa.’ This blew my mind. And I was like alright I know I want to do more electronic music. ‘Cause I was just, y’know, fucking around...I was what, sixteen? Everyone was making beats in Logic. And my beats were nothing special...they were pretty terrible [laughs]...but I was like: I feel like I can do this.

My hour with Joaquim was warm and frank. His sincerity as an artist is what makes a place like Oberlin one to occupy. And I think he and I are on the same page about this. Friendship and collective creation—as well as just hanging out, swapping non-sequiturs, consuming legal substances—is what keeps the strange bubble that is Oberlin alight with something all its own, even when (often warranted) cynicism beckons.

Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez—or DJ Sour—can be found on Instagram @stevensonrodriguez8 and Bandcamp @djsour.bandcamp.com. His next DJ set is a rave featuring DJ Thank You, Le Milieu, and Lysol, on July 16th in Oberlin.

Cooking continued flour, kneaded the dough, and rolled it into long tubes for cutting.

We had been cooking for a while at this point.

The Godfather Part I soundtrack had looped through twice; we had queued “That’s Amore” by Dean Martin twice, and the lyrics, “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie / That’s amore,” had lost some of their glimmer and novelty. The cookbook describes the making of the gnocchi as a sensual, passionate process, but for me it was mostly just sticky and flour-y.

Thus, we were relieved when the gnocchi were finally cut and placed into the boiling water, and ecstatic when they floated to the top, signifying they were done.

The gnocchi were like soft little pillows of dough—chewy and glutinous and almost sweet, though Hughes noted that the gnocchi were a bit rubbery for her taste.

Like many sequels, this second course did not quite live up to its predecessor, not through any fault of The Corleone Family Cookbook. Not wanting to give ourselves more to do and lacking a food processor for regular pesto, Lily and I bought “pesto paste,” which we mixed with oil in a saucepan to soften it. We ate our oily pesto and gnocchi with some of the leftover tomatoes from the bruschetta out on a couch on Lily’s porch. It was filling and satisfactory. Perhaps I would make the gnocchi again, but next time, I would definitely do it with a tomato sauce.

The Godfather Part III: Reflections Ultimately, cooking from The Corleone Family Cookbook was a satisfying process. The recipes in the cookbook did not require a very high technical knowledge of cooking—it was mostly red sauces, homemade pasta, and soups. I forwent many of the more involved recipes both out of time constraints and fear of my lactose intolerance. If I had more time, I would have loved to delve more into the dessert section: an Italian rum cake and an olive oil and orange cake were both calling my name.

It was a fun experience overall and my first time making gnocchi. Plus, it was a welcome break from Stevie fare. Cooking with friends? Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse.

Photos provided by Kira Mesch ‘23

Oberlin Featured Writers: the Global Voice of Ishmael Beah Fionna Farrell Staff Writer Oberlin has produced a slew of renowned writers over the years. It comes as no surprise that Creative Writing continues to be one of the most competitive majors here. As us aspiring writers peer into our own futures, let us take a look at those who have helped set the path for us, and have done so with confidence, grace, and, in this case, no lack of bravery.

Ishmael Beah was born in Sierra Leone in 1980. When Beah was just eleven years old, at the peak of the Sierra Leone Civil War, rebels invaded his hometown of Mogbwemo. He fled the town with a group of other boys, tragically separated from his family. Two years later, at the age of thirteen, Beah was forced to become a child soldier, fighting alongside the government army against the rebels. Beah served for nearly three brutal years before being rescued by UNICEF. With UNICEF’s assistance, Beah fled to New York City in 1997, where he was taken in by his foster mother. He attended the United Nations International School, followed by—you guessed it—Oberlin College, where he graduated in 2004 with a BA in political science.

It did not take long for Beah to launch a remarkable, and still flourishing, writing career..

By Ella Causer ‘22

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Ishmael Beah continued In 2007, he published his first memoir, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs From a Boy Shoulder, to immense public and critical acclaim. Through a firsthand account of his past, Beah forces us to consider the innocence-sucking universe of a child soldier—a universe where barely pubescent teens wield AK-47s while hopped up on amphetamines. Of the memoir, the Washington Post wrote: “Everyone in the world should read this book.” Time called Beah’s account “breathtaking” and “unself-pitying.” And it serves as the first of its kind—before Beah’s memoir, the first-person account of a former child soldier was unheard of.

Beah’s next major effort presents these themes through a fictitious, yet no less powerful lens. His 2014 novel Radiance of Tomorrow tells the story of two lifelong friends who return to their hometown of Imperi after the civil war, only to find their village completely decimated. The two companions try taking up their former posts as teachers, yet are beset by the insurmountable obstacles of a war-torn country. Meanwhile, a foreign mining company threatens the town’s water supply while destroying its infrastructure. Thus, the protagonists are faced with the task of protecting their homeland while they themselves are still vulnerable—and when their homeland was the cause of that vulnerability.

Finally, Beah’s third book, Little Family: A Novel, saw a perhaps slightly less personal, yet no less intimate, approach to his writing. The novel, this time, takes place in an unnamed African nation, away from the war-ravaged lands of Sierra Leone. We follow the journeys of five orphans as they build and share a home with one another, creating whatever semblance of a family they know how to in the process.

Although the novel does not particularly revolve around war or the experiences relative to one nation, it nonetheless captures the heart of displacement and powerlessness that lie at the core of Beah’s works.

How do we move forward, both individually and together, when our world has done nothing but trap us?

It is not merely through his writing that Beah poses these difficult questions.

He is also an avid human rights activist, frequently speaking at conferences around the world—sometimes, even, before world leaders, as he did at a 2008 UN press con-

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ference. Indeed, Beah is a member of the Human Rights Watch Children’s Rights Division Advisory Committee and has testified before the United States Congress. The majority of his work focuses on saving children from the calamity of war that he himself knows all too well. He travels to every corner of the globe to visit affected communities.

When it comes to reckoning with his own past, Beah shares an eye-opening perspective.

Yet, he has never been limited to the literary medium. During a Valentine’s Day appearance on The Daily Show in 2007, Beah confided in host Jon Stewart that returning to civilized society was “more difficult” than the act of becoming a child soldier. In his own words, “dehumanizing children is a relatively easy task.” Meanwhile, Beah doesn’t remember exactly how many people he killed during his forced service. He and his fellow soldiers smoked a lot of marijuana. Snorted amphetamines and “brown-brown” (a mix of cocaine and gunpowder). All this stuff was just the routine of getting by.

Beah claims that there was no escape.

Escape was as good as being dead. When he was eventually rescued by UNICEF, the first thing he felt was anxiety over his rifle being taken from him—“I knew what it meant to not have a weapon in the context I was in.”

His transition was filled with hardship and strife. Beah credits one Nurse Esther for helping to get him through. Recognizing his interest in music, she gifted him with a Walkman and a Run DMC cassette. Beah says music reminded him of a time before the violence.

A violence which will forever remain exposed through his words. Let’s hope “everyone in the world” really does pick up one of his books.

And us Oberlin students---we can carry it in our pocket, as we trace a route Beah himself might have walked to class.

Artists Digging Artists

Saffron Forsberg Arts and Culture Editor

Multimedia artist Joaquim StevensonRodriguez (OC ‘22) digs…

-Jeff Mills -Danielle McKinney -Sister Sledge -Royal Jarmon -Claude Young -Patrick Tagoe-Turkson -K-Hand -Paa Jo Coffins -Bruxas -Lynette Yiadom-Boakye -Distruction Boyz -Dotorado Pro What About You?

By Dalia Tomilchik ‘23

Reframing How We Talk About Trump’s Base Daisy Vollen Staff Writer

from 2017 which reported that students’ median family income “is $178,000, and 70% come from the top 20 percent.” Wealthy white students hailing from liberal areas are often the loudest voices on this issue and the As members of a progressive community within most dismissive of those who disagree with them. While this matter is much more than a difference of opinion, it a predominantly Republican state, Oberlin students are is still worth acknowledging that these students’ safety is in a unique position regarding our proximity to Trump rarely put at stake by the presence of conservatives and supporters. The relationship between a college and its the far right. local residents is important to be aware of at any school, Last semester I attended Mia Mingus’ lecture on but it is particularly on our minds given how small the transformative justice, which I found extremely informasurrounding area is. While the city itself is fairly liberal, tive and applicable to many aspects of my life. One of Trump signs can be found just a few miles from campus, the points that stuck with me is the notion that nobody or even hanging from cars driving through our streets. is born with the capacity to harm. These behaviors are The presence felt especially strong as a result of the taught and dependent on the environments we are raised Trump rally that took place in Wellington on June 26, in.

Recognizing the circumstances that lead to people 2021. supporting Trump, or identifying with the right more The way that many students and liberal resigenerally, does not absolve them of all responsibility--as dents of the city of Oberlin talk about conservatives is often pretty unambiguous. It can be difficult to challenge adults we all have autonomy and are capable of coming the idea that “Trump supporters are bad” for fear of com- to our own conclusions and making our own decisions.

However, it is still useful to understand where people are ing across as unaware or apathetic regarding the harm coming from in order to meet them where they are and caused by right-wing ideologies. I believe that we as a try to push them further to the left when possible. community, particularly those of us with more privilege, The need to work with those who have caused need to rethink the effects of this mentality. What are we harm rather than against them was also emphasized by accomplishing when at best we ignore Trump supporters Mingus.

We cannot expect people to grow if we do not and at worst ridicule them? Are we really protecting one give them the chance to do so. The onus to work with another by dismissing such a large chunk of the populathese individuals should not be on those who are most tion? This issue is challenging and complicated in many directly affected by the harm.

This is why white folks, ways, but asking ourselves these questions may be a useespecially those who are cisgender, heterosexual, and ful starting point. hold other privileges, must step up to the plate. Writing There is a certain level of awareness and acoff large portions of the population allows them to cause countability that is often lacking in these conversations, more violence against the most vulnerable members which is especially significant considering that Oberlin is of our communities without any accountability.

I am a predominantly white institution composed of many stuworking on having conversations to help others realize dents from wealthy, left-leaning areas. College Factual’s the harm they have caused, no matter how well I know breakdown of the Oberlin student body shows that nearly the perpetrator and whether the harm is big or small, 30% of students are from New York or California. Many direct or indirect. This is not to say I am not part of the of us may also remember a New York Times article

By Amelia Connelly ‘22 problem too--we are all capable of hurting others and I hope by opening a dialogue, others will feel encouraged to hold me accountable as well. It is easier said than done, but I am optimistic that more of our community members can participate in candid conversations with one another and in doing so we will take the next step in creating an environment where everyone can feel safer.

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2021 NBA Playoffs and the Memes It’s Wrought Wyatt Camery Features Editor It’s been over a year since the now three-time Defensive Player of the Year Rudy Gobert shut down the league, and while play has recently pushed closer to normal, this year’s NBA Playoffs have been quite a strange one. The playoffs started with a Play-In Tournament, four games that would determine the 7th and 8th seeds in the Eastern and Western Conferences. The NBA implemented the Play-In Tournament (after approval from the Board of Governors, who voted unanimously in favor of it) this year due to the COVID-shortened season, to add more basketball action. The tournament was ultimately met with some backlash from players such LeBron James of the LA Lakers and Luka Doncic of the Dallas Mavericks, whose teams faced being damned to the purgatory of the Play-In games, which are categorized neither as regular season or playoff games. James’ Lakers did end up playing in a Play-In game, beating Stephen Curry and the Warriors 103100, meaning they’d play the 2nd seeded Phoenix Suns in the playoffs. For the first time in 30 years, the 7th seed (LA) was favored over the 2nd seed (Phoenix). Alas, the Suns took the series four games to two. This meant the first first-round exit for James, making him 15-1 all-time in the first round (pretty damn good) and providing fodder for his haters and Jordan stans. With James, Curry, and their respective teams’ elimination, the 2021 Finals “will [...] be the first Finals since 1998 to not feature either the Golden State Warriors, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat, or San Antonio Spurs; and the first since 1998 to not feature either LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Tim Duncan, Shaquille O’Neal, or Kobe Bryant,” according to Wikipedia. It “will [also] be the first since 2014 to not include Andre Iguodala, who played in the past six finals with the Golden State Warriors and Miami Heat.”Finally, the Lakers and Miami Heat, both 2020 NBA finalists, were eliminated in the first round, which is the third time overall and the first since 2007 that this has happened.

Along with the journey into post-pandemic territory, this year marks a significant shift in the feeling of the NBA. I will never declare James’ career dead or even dying, but for my entire life, he has been the most dominant figure, along with Curry, Duncan, O’Neal, and Bryant. A new era is dawning on the

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NBA: not only would one of the final four franchises (Milwaukee Bucks, Atlanta Hawks, the Suns, and LA Clippers) have ended droughts of epic proportions, but one of four major star players would have won their first career ring, Chris Paul (and Devin Booker) of the Suns, Paul George of the Clippers, Giannis Antetokounmpo of the Bucks, and Trae Young (not yet a major star, but certainly a quickly rising one) of the Hawks. The Bucks haven’t won in 50 years, the Hawks haven’t in 63 years, which was back when they were in St. Louis, the Suns haven’t ever won but were last in finals in 1993, and Clips have never been this far in the playoffs. With the Bucks and Suns battling it out in the Finals, Paul and Antetokounmpo have the chance to add some serious hardware to

their shelves (and fingers) and help bring the first championship of the century to their respective franchises.

Other goings-ons in the playoffs?

The New York Knicks (my New York Knicks) finished 4th in the East, making their first playoff appearance since 2013, which is when I was in 7th grade. I could write the rest of the article about this, but I’m going to do my best to exhibit selfcontrol (plus, we lost in the first-round to the Hawks, who kept rolling until the Bucks threw their brakes on.) The Philadelphia 76ers finished 1st in the East, en route to completing the fabled “process” that their center Joel Embiid implored us to have trust in, oh, so many years ago.

Sadly for Philly, they lost in the second round to, you guessed it, the Atlanta

Hawks in seven games. On the other side of the country, the Utah Jazz sat comfortably atop the Western Conference as the winningest team in the NBA. The Jazz, in my eyes, are a fairly likeable, homegrown team in a non-major market city, whose season ended prematurely as they lost in six games to the Clippers in the second round. Also in the Rocky Mountains, this season’s MVP, Nikola Jokić, couldn’t lead his 3rd seeded Denver Nuggets past the seemingly unstoppable force of Suns, who completely swept them in the Conference Semifinals. Moving back to the East, the Brooklyn Nets assembled arguably the greatest superteam, or a team with the most star power, of all-time, lead by Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Kyrie Irving (with former all-star reserves including

NBA Memes continued greatest superteam, or a team with the most star power, of all-time, lead by Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Kyrie Irving (with former all-star reserves including Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan). The Nets lost to the Bucks in seven games in the Conference Semifinals (despite Durant’s playoff-record setting 48-point Game 7 and all-time performance in Game 5), largely due to injuries, although I think a team with this level of talent should do no less than win the championship.

In fact, the main story this year, other than all these up and coming teams making it deep in the playoffs, has been injuries. A record 10 All-Stars (plus one of last year’s All-Stars, Trae Young) have missed a game due to injury this playoffs. Many are discussing whether there should be an asterisk next to the name of the team who wins this year’s Finals, which will absolutely not happen, but the general understanding is that, as the New York Times recently said, “The [Larry O’Brien Championship] trophy may go to the healthiest team — as opposed to the best.” Indeed, many aspects of this season have been more than atypical, which has surely taken a toll on both the players’ and staff’s physical and mental health.

The season, condensed to 72 (as opposed to 82) games into just under five months (as opposed to the usual six months), began only 72 days after the Lakers won the 2020 Championship in the Bubble, which marked the end of another taxing season. Most arenas did not have spectators until vaccine rollout picked up in February and March, and many games had to be rescheduled due to COVID protocol. I don’t think there will be an asterisk because if the NBA didn’t put an asterisk next to the Lakers name last year, they certainly wouldn’t do that to the champions of this more normal season (besides, I agree with LeBron James’ assertion that playing in last year’s bubble was in fact more difficult than a typical NBA season.)

So, who will reach the mountaintop at the end of this “tainted” season? The Suns are a pretty promising pick, considering they’re up two games to one against the Bucks at the time of writing this article. Lead by core three of Devin Booker, a rising all time scoring threat, Chris Paul, easily one of the greatest point guards of all-time, only missing a ring to his name, and DeAndre Ayton, the 2018 first overall pick in the NBA draft and up and coming star big man, the Suns finished last in the Western Conference for three consecutive seasons from 2016-2019. The Bucks have been Finals hopefuls for the past three seasons and finally have the opportunity to prove they are truly the best in the league. Either way, no player on either team has won a championship before, which is the first time since 1971 when the Bucks won their last championship, and as you read this, you probably know the outcome of the Finals. Most notably, the 37-year streak (dating back to 1984!) of one of Shaquille O’Neal’s teammates being in the Finals has come to an end. It’s a new era in the NBA. Look, I’ll be honest, I have a hard time following sports very closely while I’m at Oberlin. Typically I’d be tuning in to many of these games, but I’ve mainly caught highlights from some of them (don’t worry, I watched all the Knicks games), including the end of Hawks-Bucks Game 1 on my friend’s phone at Long Island Night. The main way I manage to keep up with

professional sports is through the many pages I follow on Facebook and have followed since I was in middle school.

These pages include ESPN, Bleacher Report, the official NBA page, as well as a couple New York sports outlets (plus the occasional New York Times post). The pages I follow also include meme pages and lesser known sports sites, such as NBA Memes and Basketball Forever. I have noticed the birth and rise to popularity of a meme that satirizes the relationship between the NBA and CBA, the Chinese Basketball Association. Such memes have targeted players who underperform, particularly in big moments like the playoffs. This year, the meme blew up after Ben Simmons’ poor shooting performance in the second round against the Hawks. Other players who have fallen victim to the meme include Joe Harris of the Nets, Kyle Kuzma and Dennis Schröder of the Lakers, Rudy Gobert of the Jazz, and Kristaps Porzingis of the Mavericks, and even my beloved Julius Randle of the Knicks. The memes take many forms, most notably altered Wikipedia pages that show these players on team rosters of the Shanghai Sharks or Beijing Ducks. The memes also frequently predict dominant careers for these current players in the CBA, portraying them as all-time greats, such as Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant.

China has only produced 6 NBA players, the most famous being Yao Ming, a member of the Naismith Hall of Fame, who only played

eight seasons in the NBA (following five in the CBA) for the Houston Rockets, two more than the next most by a Chinese player. Yao Ming’s unprecedented arrival in the US ignited a wave of basketball fandom in China. Prior to this, former league commissioner David Stern, hailed for his efforts to globalize the NBA, got CCTV to air NBA games in China in the 1980s. Starting in 1994, every NBA Finals series has aired in China. But Yao’s entrance into the league skyrocketed in popularity and today the NBA is China’s most popular sports league. A few games per season are even played in China. Many NBA players have played in the CBA, including stars such as Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith, Jeremy Lin, Gilbert Arenas, Tracy McGrady, Stephon Marbury, Metta Sandiford-Artest (formerly Metta World Peace, born Ron Artest), Jimmer Fredette, and Michael Beasley (strangely all of whom except for Arenas have played for the Knicks). The NBA objectively has the best crop of basketball talent of any professional league in the world. This means that when foreign born players enter the NBA, they are typically superstars in their country of origin, but may not necessarily be stars in the US, while, on the flip side, NBA players who play overseas are almost destined to thrive. In fact, NBA exports in China experience a basketball “culture clash.” They bring a high scoring, individualistic style of play to the less physical, more team-oriented approach of CBA teams. According to Reuters, “the CBA is ultimately a training ground for players in a state-run sports system focused on increasing China’s success in international competition,” and “selfish” NBA players who come to the

By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

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NBA Memes continued THE MAN WHO INVENTED BASKETBALL

CBA to dominate face backlash as they hinder the development of Chinese players.

In October 2019, when he was the GM for the Rockets, a franchise with a particularly close relationship with China due to Yao’s tenure there, current 76ers President Daryl Morey tweeted a logo supporting Hong Kong protestors. This sparked great controversy, as the NBA is seemingly subservient to China as their relationship has developed since Yao’s arrival. LeBron James, Ohio and NBA legend, frequently outspoken about social injustices, shockingly censured Morey’s actions, saying that he “wasn’t educated” and “misinformed.” James and NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, whose diplomatic statement on the issue neither supported or admonished Morey, were likely so adamant about shushing Morey because China is a major market for the NBA. The relationship between the NBA, its players, and China is tight. Players have major endorsements and the NBA has massive TV deals there, all of which amounts to billions of dollars.

I would hate to make trouble where there isn’t, but along with the recently strained relationship between the NBA and China, I can’t help but point out the history of animosity between Black Americans and Asian-American people. Since the beginning of the pandemic, Chinese Americans, and members of the AAPI community in general, have experienced an uptick in violent hate crimes committed against them. There certainly have been moments of Black and Asian solidarity in the US, including right now, but historically, in addition to discrimination faced from white people on the outside, members of these two groups have frequently shared hostility for each. Although the NBA was not initially integrated (interestingly, Japanese-American Wataru Misaka became the first non-white player in 1950 for the Knicks), it currently has the highest Black representation, in fanbase (45%) and players (74.2%), of any of the major sports leagues in the US. And with a 54% non-white fanbase, making it the only league with a majority non-white fanbase, the fans creating the memes are more likely to be non-white than white, but are very unlikely to be of Asian descent. Many YouTube users have made humorous videos in the past couple weeks about the “potential” Shanghai Sharks roster, particularly honing in on the question of if they can go “820” (an impossible-to-achieve perfect NBA season), using simulations by the NBA 2K video game.

I don’t think these memes are inherently racist, or at least I don’t think people see them as actively racist. The point of them is to make fun of star players for underperforming. The side effect is that they boast the superiority of American players at the sport, which is objectively true based on any basketball metric. But the issue with the memes is not only that they simultaneously poke fun at the skill set of Chinese players, but that the majority of American exports to China are Black, which may just play into a greater context of both real and oft stereotyped Black-Asian contention. Should these memes be “cancelled” then? That is tough. I wish someone with a louder voice than I have in the basketball world would make this point so people become aware of the potentially problematic nature of the memes. If I’m not just speculating, and if they are hurting people or actively perpetuating a culture of hate and division, then I would doubly hope more people would discuss this issue. The basketball world, the most diverse of any sport within the US, has portrayed earnest care for social justice and change, so I am curious why no one has spoken up about these memes. While on the surface, these memes seem innocuous and in good humor, placed in the context of a league that seems to be outspoken against instances of social injustice and general bigotry, they are a small but ripe-for-the-picking an opportunity for the NBA to redeem its stance on the People’s Republic of China.

Pride Prom and Confronting Pride Month’s Finitude Fionna Farrell Staff Writer If you are one of the lucky ones, the word “prom” should bring back an assortment of fond memories — or relatively fond, at least. This is, of course, considering you took the liberty of attending the event; I don’t blame you if you didn’t. Prom is not always as intrinsically exciting as teen movies on cable make it out to be, whether because of the venue, DJ, or something more sinister.

Indeed, its oft-exclusionary nature tends to be a major factor in many people’s distaste for prom; we can skirt around poorly-placed tables but not heternormative excess!

Thus, “Pride Prom” comes as a natural solution to this.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that Oberlin was in on it. On June 26th, the ‘Sco hosted a Pride Prom to end all Pride Proms (don’t roll your eyes at me - we are in Ohio, and I am feeling very generous). Having attended the event, I can certainly say that, if ever forced at gunpoint to name the prom experience that I found most favorable, well, I know what I’d be picking.

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The “prom,” although confined to Wilder’s basement and restricted to 100 participants at a time, was everything that every run-of-the-mill high school prom is not. First of all, it was not hellbent on promoting phony romantic overtures between pimple-faced 17-year olds. Indeed, no one seemed particularly focused on losing their virginity that night. Instead, it was a celebration of identity and selfhood. It was also a way to let loose. There were no restrictions on music or fashion. There were no uptight moms trying to move the sun to get a photo of you, or uncertain boyfriends sweating through their shirts because they couldn’t get the corsage on right.

Instead, there was shared empowerment and unity as to why we were all there. To express ourselves freely and without hesitation. To share time with our closest friends who accept us truly and wholly. And, perhaps most importantly, to acknowledge and celebrate those not as privileged as us: those who do not get to express themselves freely, those whose sheer existence is rebuked by the outside world. We would indeed not be here were it not for trans people of color and other marginalized groups.

We are all passionate about this. We all know that silly pride prom spans far beyond our mere selves, and that it’s our duty to consider this. Outside of our own little bubble, the world gets a bit harsher. And yet, at the end of the night, what is there left to do? Go back to our dorms, shed our mercilessly tested attire, and go to sleep grinning and unshowered? That sure doesn’t sound bad — after all, there are far worse ways to end the night.

But it’s probably exactly what we did on our high school prom nights (perhaps, at a much earlier or later hour, depending on how strict our parents were).

I’m certainly not saying that pride prom is pointless; in fact, far from it. But I think there is a certain intrinsic aspect of it that seems particularly finite and self-directed.

Even considering the callback to the greater world. For the next morning, we are back into our practiced routines. We put on our favorite masks, each fitted with various degrees of subtlety. In a couple of decades, our kids will be stumbling cluelessly into their “normal proms.” If they go to a particularly progressive high school or Oberlin College, they might get to see a pride prom or two.

But this isn’t the reality for everyone. Not even close.

Pride Month continued

By Eleanor Winchell ‘22

Pride month itself is only, well, a month. Pride prom seems to function as an unfortunate reminder of this. In June, stores upsell the rainbow; in July, it is back to plaid and stripes. At pride prom you get to be yourself, but the next day - who knows what the world will bring you. In this regard, I’m not just speaking to Oberlin’s pride prom; I’m speaking to the pride proms everywhere. The experience of understanding, expressing, and most importantly, celebrating ourselves becomes one of reduction: reduced to thirty days, reduced to three hours. How is one to proceed? We do not simply gain new identities come July or Sunday morning.

And for many, Pride is not just about the acceptance of ourselves, but being able to share this acceptance with both the world and those closest to us. How are we supposed to do this when, in some places, hanging a Pride flag in the street can still prove to be a dangerous choice?

When the solace of a Pride parade feels like the only real safe space in the world? It is indeed difficult to open ourselves up to our families wholly and honestly when so much remains uncertain -- when Pride is so often confined to a certain temporality, or a certain stretch of blocks where one can walk - or even exist - without worry.

Of course, these problems are not solved overnight. These systemic issues that perpetuate so much exclusion - not unlike high school prom - remain deeply entrenched in our culture. And, sadly, as much as Pride month serves as a solution to that, it is also somewhat a reminder of it. Not in its history, not in the celebration of identity at which it aims - but the way that it’s become practiced and performed within our culture, as if perpetually aware of its own finitude. Pride prom might have been great, but it’s still nothing more than an appendage of all those stuffy heteronormative proms.

Why do they have to be mutually exclusive from one another?

I’m not saying that every month should be pride month, or that we should get rid of pride proms. The latter would be awful - the former, great, but sadly, unachievable. Rather every month should be one that we feel comfortable expressing ourselves with pride.

And every prom should have a spirit of pride prom imbued within (good luck on that one, Central High School). This way, when Pride month and the pride proms do roll around, they will be truly special -- one can celebrate themselves even harder when it’s not just for a few moments.

Pride is not just about the acceptance of ourselves, but being able to share this acceptance with both the world and those closest to us. How are we supposed to do this when, in some places, hanging a Pride flag in the street can still prove to be a dangerous choice? When the solace of a Pride parade feels like the only real safe space in the world?

It is indeed difficult to open ourselves up to our families wholly and honestly when so much remains uncertain -- when Pride is so often confined to a certain temporality, or a certain stretch of blocks where one can walk or even exist - without worry.

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Calm Down People, I’m Actually A Really Chill Guy When You Get To Know Me Op-Ed by Jamie Spears Father of Britney Spears Imagine waking up one morning and finding out the world hates you. Not so fun ain’t it? Well that’s been my life for the past few months. Why? All because I love my precious little baby girl sweet darlin angel honey buns Britney. Is that a crime?????

I’m not such a bad guy you see! I’m a man that enjoys the simple pleasures life has to offer. I love fishing with my friends, poker nights every Thursday, and I love having complete control over my daughter’s estate. So I may not be a perfect father. I missed some dance recitals here and there, maybe didn’t say “I love you” enough, but what I did do was love my daughters (and, well, force one of them to never have children again). It is hard enough to try to be the perfect husband, and even harder to be the perfect father, especially when your daughter has a lot of money and you want all of it.

All these lamestream news media bozos and haters never ask me how I’m holding up in this whole mess. All they want to know is, “hey why does Britney have sunglasses on in this IGTV? Is it because she blinked HELP ME MY DAD IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE in morse code in the last video?” Ridiculous! It’s like, what, you guys want her to never blink?? I mean I could force her to undergo lid removal surgery, which she does want according to these papers I signed for her, but that would be too much... unless you guys don’t think so….

Before I leave you guys with some last remarks, I just wanted to say a big thank you to The Grape staff for letting this man share his side of the story. I mean I told CNN I would do some things I would be very ashamed of for just one interview. Just one. And they said that’s not how journalism works. As Britney would say, that’s pretty hostile. I mean, deadly.

Shit, what are the words, with the taste of your lips o0ooOOooo aaaaAgah don’t you know that you’re bad for my health sexy lil boy. It doesn’t matter anymore.

Nothing matters. We should all just forget about this tiny very small thing and go on with our lives. Or other people’s lives that you control. Just sayin.

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By Dasha Klein ‘22

Oberlin Bike Share Anna Scott Contributing Writer You’re probably well aware that walking to and from your classes or wherever the hell else you go on campus is a “beta-male” strategy. Or at least that is what Mathem Bronzestein (lmao fake name) said to me when I interviewed him about his new start-up “Oberlin Bike Share.”

I only just heard about it because I was super drunk last Saturday and was walking North past Keep with my friends and then this guy with us was like “omfg let’s bike share to the Union party.” And then I was like “what’s bike share?” And then this guy named Mathem Bronzestein was like “it’s this thing that I have started.” And then I was like “Ok cool, uhhh.”

I mean come on, who wants to go to the Bike Coop just to have your 1956 Schwinn flat back bike rack taken and pawned off at the highest bidder to

- Sexy New Start-Ups ONLY some NYC kid who learned how to bike yesterday….not me! And who wants to go to the Bike Coop just to learn how to kinda put on their rusty chain from some 42 year old man that kinda looks like your 5th grade science teacher watching youtube on “how to put on a rusty chain”....not me!

So long story short, I decided to interview him on the first floor of Mudd about his real start-up. Like, you guys, this is actually real: Anna: Can you tell me a little bit about where you came up with the “Oberlin Bike Share” idea?

Mathem: Last semester, some people from Green Edge Fund were talking about how inefficient Oberlin’s electrical infrastructure is. Like the fake-ass solar panels that incentivise first-years to live in Kahn, but in actuality we know for a fact that first-years only want AC and those greedy brats don’t actually care about the earth.

This is The Oberlin Grape’s second installment of Ask Dr. Gags, an advice column from our resident sexologist Dr. Gagatha McCreampie. If you have a question about sex, intimacy, dating, or pubic lice, feel free ot reach out to Dr. Gags through emailing thegrape@oberlin.edu

Dear Dr. Gags, Long time fan here!

Let’s say you’re going down on a guy, go too far, and just throw up all on his crotch, how do we move on from this?

Love, Hurl Boss —-Dearest Hurl Boss, Ouch! That seems really embarrassing, maybe you should fake your own death, skip town, and live a life off the grid. SIKE! In my years of having one of the strongest gag reflexes in New York City County, I can tell you I have been in your situation quite a few times. And to no one’s surprise, boys love it! They really cannot get enough. Use that vomit like lip gloss, or piss, or discharge and shmear it all over his body. You know what they say, a fluid is a fluid is a fluid! This may be because all I eat are jellybeans and so all of my excreations taste like sugar. Going forward, you may also want to keep a strictly jellybean diet the next time you gorge down on some genitals like a filthy hog.

Dear Dr. Gags, SOS! Why do I psyche myself out of finishing during masturbation?!?

Love, EdgeLord Dearest EdgeLord, Hmmm, well this seems like a really difficult problem. Wish I could help but I am having a hard time understanding what you mean by ‘masturbation’? Is it a game? Or a puzzle? Maybe it is kind of like a skillful guitar solo but for a different instrument like a harp or an alarm. Perhaps you can use it in a sentence. Oh wait!

Let me ask Google!

Okay so after looking it up it turns out that masturbation is like sex but no husband. Which is very gross.

You should stop.

Lovely kisses and well wishes (STOP MASTERBOATING!!!!!), Dr. Gags

Smooches, Dr. Gags

By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

Bike Share continued A: Okay, so how does the Green Edge Fund fit into all of this again?

M: So yeah anyway, you know the athletic equipment in the athletic place and how they are supposed to be giving power back to the building as they are being used?

A: Yes M: Well they don’t. But, I was thinking that all that energy could be used for electric City Bikes to be used in Oberlin.

A: Wow, kid, sounds like you could win LaunchU! But ok, let’s be honest, this is a sweet idea, kinda cute actually, a little save-the-planet kinda thing. Yet, is it just me or is the combination of drunk college students on a Friday night plus electric motorcycle-esk vehicles a bad idea?

It is already terrifying that we allowed a student to drive other drunk students around in the Oberlin Shuttle on Saturday nights up until this past year. That shitty idea was like The Knight Bus from Harry Potter

and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

M: Yeah, so then one day during the spring semester, I started to see a lot of the same bikes lying around. There were even some outside of the bike coop....

A: Bikes outside of the bike coop. Who would have thought?!

M ...But yeah, you don’t take any bikes that are unlocked, you take the bikes that are obviously abandoned. Down with this capitalist thing of City Bikes. I mean that’s what happened with the storage units: Accidental communism. We basically just want more of a communal system. But in my head, I was just like, I’m just going to take this bike, ride it to where I’m going to ride it, and then I’m going to return it.

M: Although a majority of students leave their bikes unlocked, it is still pretty easy to tell the difference between the ones that are owned by someone versus the ones that are abandoned.

A: How do you know this?

M: I guess when you know, you just know.

As we finished up our interview, I asked him one last question: A: What other projects have you been involved with lately?

M: Communal 3D printed condoms and diva cups.

Overall, this Oberlin Bike Share sounds pretty slapping awesome to me. And I really think we should all just agree to unlock our bikes starting on July 18th, 2021 so that everyone else can participate too.

At that moment during the interview someone sitting next to us leaned over and said, “No you just steal bikes,” which visibly upset Mathem and in response he said “No it is the Oberlin Bike Share.”

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By Eva Sturm-Gross ‘22

Grandma Hate Versus Grandma Love Izzy Halloran Managing Editor Please Note: All interviewed subjects have chosen to remain anonymous, to avoid any further angering of their mean grammys.

Most of us have a gam gam. Or a Grams, perhaps a Meemaw, Mimi, Grammy, Gammer, Gammpy, Nana, Nonna, a mother’s mother. Some of us like our mommy’s mom, some of us despise her. Grandma love vs. Grandma hate, that’s the big question. Personally, I have just the one that I like. She’s pretty teeny, I think four foot eleven inches (Snooki height), as italian as a New Jersey cannoli or perhaps a fresh dollar slice of za.

I have wonderful, light memories of my Grandma. Like that time she had one too many moscow mules at Christmas dinner and started telling stories about growing up among the m*b. Or that other time when she said to me and my sister, “thank god you guys aren’t ugly, I’d hate to have ugly grandchildren.” And she was only kidding a little. These anecdotes are all to say--I love my Grammy a lot. But since coming to Oberlin, I’ve realized how many of my peers do not appreciate nanna like I do. So as any good, pretty and cute reporter would do, I asked around campus to see if any Grandma-haters would talk to me about their unfortunate situations.

Grandma hater number one tells me about how Grandma Janet has been an odd presence in their life since birth. As an extremely traditional Christian, Gram-

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my sent them and their two siblings to Bible camp as a child.

A whole camp dedicated to the Bible. And although Gram-Gram hater number one did end up having a good time…Janet has been pushing her religion on their family since birth, and she sees the devil in everything. It sucks when your Grandma thinks you are gonna burn in hell! Grandma hater number two hates Gramma for a lot of different reasons.

This Grandma is a Jewish one, Grandma Peggy. Peggy is a five foot two frizzy haired Jew. Something cool about her is that she keeps batteries and hard candy in her bra in case of emergency.

The story with this one is that she got mad at her granddaughter because she did not talk to Grammy enough during her bat mitzvah. And also, she dropped the Torah (so maybe some of the anger was justified…). When Grandma Peggy gets mad, loose Duracells and Werther’s Originals have been known to dislodge from her bra. It’s not a pretty sight.

I’ve been blessed with an angelic Italian grandmother, but has that deprived me of the drama of having a mean gam gam? I can’t help but feel that my cushy upbringing has shielded me from all the evil, wicked grammy’s out there. I will conclude this study with the same questions I began with: Grandma hate or grandma love? After years of research, hundreds upon hundreds of hours spent grueling over this question-- Grandma love wins.

By Shay Rutkowski ‘22

Top 10 A Cappella Songs to Impress Parents & Family Teagan Hughes Staff Writer It’s never too early to start preparing for Parents and Family Weekend and its obvious, indisputable highlight, the cumulative multi-group a cappella concert! (Right everyone? Right? ...Right?) We all want to impress (i.e. pander to) parents and family-but how? Below are 10 aca-potential a cappella aca-numbers that are sure to aca-blow their acaminds.

10. “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt Did your mom inexplicably download the entirety of Back to Bedlam to her music library almost a decade after its release? Then this is the perfect song for your group! Get all the moms grooving with this 2004 softboy dew-in-the-eyelashes classic.

the-corner masterwork. Also, are you okay?

6. “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” by Iron Butterfly (17 minute version)

This prog rock epic is sure to get everyone snoozing!

Transport your audience to the late ‘60s with your expressive mumbling. Don’t forget the drum solo!

5. “Bang!” By AJR Are you out of ideas? Yeah, I thought so.

4. “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco

Can one (or all) of your members tap dance? This is the perfect number for you! The extended tap dance solo will give your group the perfect opportunity to showcase your members with the loudest shoes!

Tap into ‘80s nostalgia with this quintessential onehit wonder.

3. “Heaven or Las Vegas” by the Cocteau Twins Do you need a quick learn to fill out your roster?

This one’s a breeze—you don’t even have to know the words! This long-winded indie pop classic will have the whole audience mumbling along.

2. “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant” by Billy Joel

9. “One Week” by The Barenaked Ladies

This eight-minute epic has a little something for everyone: blue jeans, deep-pile carpet, and the inevitable onward march of time! Pay tribute to Long Island’s king of rock with this tempo-hopping ballad.

We all remember doing tongue twisters in high school drama club! Right? (...Right? ...Guys?

Where’d everyone go?) In any case, showcase your tongue-twisting skills with this bouncy ‘90s masterpiece!

1. “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers

8. “The Joker” by the Steve Miller Band

Do the members of your group consider themselves musical storytellers? This song will give you the perfect chance to flex those narrative skills! With a character death in the fifth verse, this classic country ballad will tamp down the energy in any room.

Is “Abracadabra” just a little too risqué for you? Hit the perfect middle ground with this musical listicle!

7. “Iris” by The Goo-Goo Dolls

There you have it! By mixing and matching these 10 numbers, your a cappella group is sure to produce an aca-perfect aca-performance for aca-parents and family to enjoy. Get arranging!

Do you feel a latent angst during your rehearsals that threatens to surface at any moment? Tap into that negative feeling with this essential sobbing-in-

By Joaquim Stevenson-Rodriguez ‘22

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Comic Corner presents...

By Henley Childress ‘23

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MOVIE NIGHT!!! *EVERYTHING IN BOLD IS NONSENSE GIBBERISH THAT WE HAD TO PUT IN TO MAKE THE CROSSWORD WORK SO WE GAVE YOU THE ANSWERS :)

DOWN 1. Loud noise you might have been hearing recently 2. “That is, Rohypnol” 3. Many COVID vaccines rely on this 4. God’s day of rest

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5. UEBAEGS 6. The feeling you have when you think all of your fingers are doing a really great job 7. Sad elephant movie, also the acronym for a neighborhood in Brooklyn 8. NL 9. DEGC 13. Jizz 13.5. Mr. Schneebly wanted to stick it to the Man in this movie 16.5. There were two of these on screen in The Parent Trap 17.5. Homes in the Shire 18. He’s in town filming a movie and he’s a big celeb 19.5. House in Spanish

26.5. What you might (consensually haha) suck on a woman’s chest 31. ____ Bros love the Criterion Collection 33. Online database of movie information and actors’ biographies 36. Past tense of ‘say’ 37. A black and white movie, a Hollywood crime drama 38. TDNREWW 52. Dad for short

ACROSS 1. Film industry movement spurred on by the allegations against Harvey Weinstein 7. The popular fantasy themed

table-top RPG is often referred to as this 10. Movie character, he phones home 11. Movie where Joaquin Phoenix has a crush on a sexy A.I. woman 12. Animated Disney movie inspired by Greek mythology 14. Put grandma’s ashes in here 15. A “Boom” en France 16. Keeps your schedule in order 17. He’s in town today directing a movie 19. We go here 20. An action verb 21. A boy’s name meaning ‘servant of God’ in Hebrew 22. Test your drugs to avoid this 23. The beginning of a laugh 24. EF 25. An awesome word for an awesome deal 26. Hellos or goodbyes in Hawaii 27. Smallest state in the U.S. 28. Video showing the making of a movie 29. Oberlin alum who was once the Features Editor of this publication, legend has it that she lived Above Ottica (the second bedroom was her closet) 30. EFI 32. ORS 33. A personal pronoun you might use when talking about yourself 34. Scary movie about a clown 35. The exam that Elle Woods studies for in Legally Blonde 39. iPhone app that provides the next best thing to in-person conversation 40. Opposite of a Win 41. Lynch’s LA themed movie, kinda scary 46. Happening in Wilder Bowl currently 47. School of art and design in Los Angeles 48. Noah Baumbach is one of these 50. Former friends might have this, cow meat 51. The hero and the villain of the new Star Wars movies 53. Personal pronoun you might use when you are with your friend 54. The ability of machines to learn and think like humans, the subject of many a sci-fi movie 55. She’s also in town right now, she’s dating Noah Baumbach and starred in her own movie that is just sooooooo relatable to twentysomethings trying to figure their lives out 56. Paramilitary organization in Nazi, Germany

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