Issue 3 Big One! Summer 2021

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Vol. 69 NO. 3/4

OBERLIN’S ALTERNATIVE STUDENT NEWSPAPER EST. 1999 August 26, 2021 COVER ART Front Cover by Ila Astin Back Cover by Dalia Tomilchik

Priya Banerjee and Levi Dayan Co-Editors-in-Chief Izzy Halloran Managing Editor Wyatt Camery Features Editor Liza MacKeen Shapiro Opinions Editor

Saffron Forsberg Arts and Culture Editor

Anna Harberger Layout Editor

Juli Freedman Bad Habits Editor

Eva Sturm-Gross Art Director

Fiona Farrell, Teagan Hughes, Kira Mesch, Anna Scott, Daisy Vollen Staff Writers

Sam Blieden Web and Photo Editor

Letter from 1/2 of the Editors Levi Dayan Co-Editor-in-Chief Hello! My name is Levi, I’m the other half The Grape editors-in-chief. For those of you who don’t know me, here’s what I’ve been up to lately. Outside of classwork and putting together this paper, I’ve been getting ready for my 22nd birthday, which is in a few days! I remember last year when I turned 21, thinking I’d walk into the local liquor store and they’d card me and be like “ah, you just turned 21 but you can’t go to a bar so you came here.” But instead they didn’t card me at all. Robbed me of a good story, but set the tone for a year of drinking beer alone and watching the Simpsons. But this year is gonna be much more exciting because I’ll get to be with people! Birthdays aren’t usually a big deal for me because it’s so late in the summer, I’m out of school and most people I know are out of town, so that’s one of the benefits of summer school I suppose. Looking forward to finally getting some time off at the end of this semester, I haven’t done any pleasure reading in ages.

Anyways, if you’re reading this: you should be in our next issue! The Grape wouldn’t be what it is without our wonderful staff, but contributing writers and artists are what keep each issue fresh. So if you literally have any idea, write it, or draw it! You don’t have to be a staff member to write for The Grape, and you can write whatever article you want (within boundaries)! Join the team!

With love, Levi Dayan.

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Gen-Z, the Vaccine, And Bill Gates’ Plan to Microchip Us All Fionna Farrell Staff Writer The CDC reports that, as of July 21st, only 42.6% of 18-24 year-olds across the U.S. have been fully vaccinated. This statistic exists in alarming contrast to vaccine rates across other age groups: 81.3% of adults between 65-74 have been fully vaccinated, along with 66.5% of those between 50-64. So, what’s up with us -or rather, what’s up with 57.4% of us?

Maybe it has something to do with our laziness.

Or our selfishness. Or all those negative traits that are so distinctly Gen-Z. As was recently pointed out in the Philadelphia Inquirer, public health messaging, throughout most of the pandemic, usually pointed towards older adults as those most vulnerable to the virus. So naturally, since Gen-Z doesn’t care about anyone but themselves, we had something of an excuse not to roll up our sleeves for a while.

In recent months, the government has launched myriad attempts to dissuade us from this sort of troubling mindset. The public health messaging strategy has thus seen various changes in both its content and form.

Content-wise, the focus has now generally shifted to long-term COVID-19 effects across all age groups, as opposed to just those made immediately vulnerable to the virus. Regarding form, public health officials now seem to understand that it’s not just what they say, but where they say it, that leaves a lasting impression on us.

And where do Gen-Zers most frequently find themselves scrolling? The (older) adults seem to believe, perhaps not inaccurately, that it’s TikTok. A new wave of public health messaging has thus swept the platform, to varying degrees of effectiveness. Villanova Communications professor Allyson Levin cited that “Effective messaging for Gen-Zers on Tik Tok … looks a lot like effective health messaging elsewhere in so-called legacy media formats, such as newspaper or television.” This means that messages should be unbiased, scientifically accurate, and evidence-based.

Fortunately, a large part of them are. Believe it or not, there are actually more than a handful of compe-

Art by Eleanore Winchell

tent individuals on TikTok一medically certified doctors or health professionals that have something of an idea of what they’re talking about. Their valid contributions, answering questions like what one should do before the vaccine, or what are the vaccine’s possible side effects, often garner views in the 100k to millions range. Their reassurances about the vaccine’s efficacy have served to push many skeptics in the right direction.

However, the one downside of the TikTok surge has been that it also serves as an equally excellent tool to deliver useless misinformation. While the app’s Community Guidelines explicitly warn against this, claiming posts that work to spread misinformation will be promptly taken down, the sheer reach of the app usually prevents this from being done in a very timely manner 一before plenty of people have already seen it, saved it, and shared it with their friends. And, while misinformation can be easily deciphered in some contexts, like the spreading of blatantly false “facts” (whether for the sake of entertainment or out of sheer ignorance), in others the lines become a bit more blurred. It is no surprise, then, that rampant conspiracy theorists are able to find their moment in the limelight with relative ease.

The conjured non-truths that they spread vary by degree of both harmfulness and strangeness. One user likened the vaccine to a medicine given to pregnant women in the 1950s to treat nausea; little was known about the medicine, and it allegedly caused birth defects in some children. By this user’s logic, the same could be true of the COVID vaccine一even though overwhelming evidence points to the contrary, and we indeed no longer live in the ‘50s. She and others are still prone to claim that we “still don’t really know what’s in it.”

One doesn’t even have to be actively seeking vaccine (mis)information to be bombarded with it; try simply searching for #billgates, and you’ll soon find a popular video proposing that the COVID-19 pandemic is a front to adopt a cryptocurrency scheme patented by Microsoft to institute governmental mind control. Another user posted a similar video to the tune of Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage”一“Bill Gates wants to chip us, track us and vax us/can’t convince us he’s not an assassin/don’t

vax.” In this day and age, it seems impossible for anything not to circle back to Bill Gates and mind control.

To counteract this madness, the government has really had to bring out the big guns. That is, people they know us Gen-Zers will trust, regardless of any preconceived animosity towards Bill Gates. That is, pop stars whose debut album is sitting comfortably at No. 1 on the Billboard charts. That is, 18-year-old superstar Olivia Rodrigo.

On July 14th, the pop star met and recorded several public service announcements with President Biden and Dr. Fauci. Appearing in the White House briefing room, she lauded the work that has been put into the vaccine thus far, while still urging unvaccinated fans to, you know, get it. Now. Please.

The jury’s still out on whether her message has had any real widespread effect. Perhaps this brings us back to the essential question at hand: that is, who does Gen-Z really entrust themselves to? Whose words are we going to take seriously一if anyone’s? Do we trust the pop star? The conspiracy theorists? The health experts? Our parents?

The answers prove many and various. But we still must make a decision.

After all, many of us are on the verge of, if not well into, our early years of adulthood. From here, the consequences of our actions will only continue to matter more.

To become less and less reversible. Until one day, believe it or not, people are going to start listening to us. It’s our choice whether that seals our doom or saves us from it.

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Staff Picks from the WOBC Vault Special Double Issue Edition Teagan Hughes Staff Writer The shelves of the WOBC vault are daunting—floor-to-ceiling, stuffed with CDs and vinyl records, the less robust shelves beginning to bow under their weight.

Most of the shelves are so crowded you couldn’t fit new albums if you tried. The CDs and records are sorted by genre and type and alphabetized by artists. It would take a lifetime to listen to it all, and days to even read all the spines.

Many of the CDs on these shelves are promotional copies; some are in dented cardboard cases, some only in sleeves. They’re labeled on the front by genre and artist, with some sporting decade(s)-old micro-reviews from former WOBC staff. These promotional copies were sent to WOBC for free by artists and labels seeking to promote their new releases. They represent the very beginning of these pieces entering the cultural consciousness. Holding them feels like holding a piece of history; the evolution of genre, taste, and pop culture condensed into a scant plastic circle.

I still have several metric tons of physical media to explore, but thumbing through the vault has already turned up some hidden gems—in my eyes, anyway.

There’s a promotional copy of The Cardigans’ First Band on the Moon, received, labeled, and shelved by WOBC DJs before the ubiquitous “Lovefool” became one of pop culture’s most pervasive earworms. There’s a promotional copy of The Proclaimers’ second record, Sunshine on Leith, presumably sent out approximately four years before “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” hit the Billboard Hot 100 (Sunshine on Leith was released in the US in 1989; “I’m Gonna Be” didn’t chart until 1993). There’s a CD copy of Tori Amos’ single “Cornflake Girl,” a promotional 45 of Blind Melon’s first single “Tones of Home,” and a promotional CD of Bjork’s album Post. One of my favorite finds was a copy of Bjork’s Telegram with a hand-drawn cover, probably by a former WOBC staff member.

Promotional CDs aren’t the only treasures in the vault; many of the CDs in the WOBC vault are inscribed with handwritten notes on the front. These micro-reviews were scrawled on paper labels by former WOBC genre staff, leaving recommendations

(or, in some cases, underhanded critiques) for their fellow DJs. Some well-known albums entered the WOBC vault with contemporaneous commentary. A label on Tame Impala’s Currents calls it “lush and atmospheric,” while a piece of masking tape on their Innerspeaker brands it as “psychedelic pop” and “slow building.” Back in 2008, a member of WOBC staff praised Fleet Foxes’ self-titled debut for having a “kickass album cover,” and being “folk-ish, like Akron/Family without the self-parody.” (In a different ink and handwriting on the side, someone else has written “Also, boring.”)

A 2007 copy of the Arctic Monkeys’ Favourite Worst Nightmare labels the band a “European Indie-Rock outfit that probably would sell a lot at Tower Records or the ‘Alternative/Rock’ section of Best Buy.” This isn’t even to mention the multitudes of CDs and vinyls in the vault that

Photos (right, left) by Sam Blieden Photo (center) provided by Teagan Hughes

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Tune in! WOBC Everyday of the Week Daisy Vollen Staff Writer In a normal year, the Oberlin college and community radio station transmits amazing new programming 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. While active DJs are only playing music from 9am to 12am this semester, there are still so many exciting shows to tune into! Having hosted a radio show since my first year at Oberlin, I know what a fun and exciting opportunity it can be to share your music with the world. My only regret in my time at WOBC is that I didn’t start regularly listening to others’ shows ear-

lier. Part of the beauty of our station is that there is something for everyone and the weekly lineup is full of hidden gems.

Here is just a small sampling of the sonic excellence that our local station has to offer right now.

marily stays within the realm of hip-hop, but other genres are sprinkled throughout—pop, rock, indie, etc. The description of the show that appears on WOBC’s website merely says “<3 women <3” and I couldn’t have said it better myself.

in the fight for change. This collection of songs is perfect for both somatic and social movements: a reminder that we can dance and engage with history all at the same time!

SUNDAY

MONDAY

ESTROGEN Sunday 3PM-4PM hip-hop - with your host: Tali The perfect soundtrack for your Sunday afternoon! ESTROGEN is dedicated to—and exclusively features—music made by women, whether they are artists, producers, or hold other important roles in the industry. The music featured pri-

SOUNDTRACK OF THE REVOLUTION Monday 2PM-3PM r&b/funk/soul- with your host: Major Change Let DJ Major Change take you on a sonic journey through time. This show exemplifies the important and often underrepresented role that music plays

SWEET TEA TIME Tuesday 2PM-3PM folk/country/blues - with your host: Ramblin’ Roadie Rob Country music encompasses many eras and styles, and Ramblin’ Roadie Rob isn’t afraid to explore them all. Country hits, deep cuts, and everything in between feel right at home on this broadcast, complimenting one another thanks to a common

TUESDAY

I still have several metric tons of physical media to explore, but thumbing through the vault has already turned up some hidden gems—in my eyes, anyway. There’s a promotional copy of The Cardigans’ First Band on the Moon, received, labeled, and shelved

by WOBC DJs before the ubiquitous “Lovefool” became one of pop culture’s most pervasive earworms.

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WOBC This Week continued

thread that brings a sense of cohesion to the selections.

These weekly themes are typically based on the songs’ content or a shared geographic region and are handpicked just for you.

WEDNESDAY PARADISE GARAGE Wednesday 10PM-11PM punk - with your host: DJ [NAME REDACTED] If you’re looking for something a little more aggressive, you just might find it on Wednesday night.

Paradise Garage highlights the unique punk scene of a new location each week. Punk and metal night may not have as much relevant programming this semester as it has in the past, but when it comes to radio, quality is more important than quantity and thankfully the energy is staying alive thanks to broadcasts like this one.

THURSDAY INTRINSIC INSTRUMENTS

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Thursday 10PM-11PM other - with your host: dj Whiskey Dog The average music listener will find at least a few shows in WOBC’s schedule that will appeal to their tastes, but true music lovers are encouraged to tune into Intrinsic Instruments. The hour is devoted to showcasing a new instrument each week. DJ Whiskey Dog accomplishes this by playing music across a range of genres, all connected through the essential presence of the week’s chosen instrument.

FRIDAY 12 INCH, SINGLE Friday 6PM-8PM electronic - with your host: Steve Designer I first learned about 12 Inch, SINGLE in the fall of 2019 when I hosted the show right before DJ Steve Designer’s, and I am so fortunate that I did! From our brief interactions and my experiences listening to the show I can assure listeners that this Oberlin resident

is not only a super friendly and pleasant person, but he is an amazing DJ too! The show’s description gives a brief but informative history of the 12-inch single LP which first came onto the music scene in 1978. 12 Inch, SINGLE consists of music that “touches your soul” and is sure to get you dancing. Start off your Friday night with 2 hours of songs you won’t be able to resist grooving to!

SATURDAY EVERYONE FEELS SAD SOMETIMES Saturday 7pm-8pm pop/rock - with your host: Kimbo Love If you use your time wisely, Saturday can offer a much needed breath of fresh air from the stress of a busy week. I frequently find myself stressed out trying to balance classes, clubs, work, and a social life and the fact that I am often unable to make time for myself only makes the stress worse. DJ Kimbo Love is here for me and every other listener seeking a space where comfort, reflection, and relaxation are welcome.

Photos by Sam Blieden

ROUND TWO! Picks from the WOBC Vault with (½ of) Journey Beyond the Khatru Teagan Hughes Staff Writer On August 6th, I met Tempest Baum in the WOBC vault and asked them to pick out their favorite records. Baum makes up half of Journey Beyond the Khatru, a show they co-host with co-DJ Hamish Robb. This semester, it runs on Fridays from 9 to 11 p.m., but it’s been running (with only one notable hiatus) since 2018. “It’s a prog rock show, but we also play pretty much everything adjacent to progressive rock,” Baum said. “So, everything from psychedelic folk to progressive electronic to technical death metal...we really try to play a really wide variety... all of which has some form of roots in the progressive music of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.” Asked for a loose definition of prog rock, Baum gave me examples of artists in the genre, like Yes, Rush, Pink Floyd, Kansas, Tool, The Mars Volta, and Jethro Tull. Prog rock is “music that starts with the tradition of rock music, and basically expands well beyond the traditional definition of it,” Baum said. “[It] incorporates other influences, and basically just pushes the boundary of what rock music means.”

Baum began over by the jazz vinyls, where they pointed out records by Pat Metheny and Jean-Luc Ponty as great examples of jazz fusion, a genre related to progressive rock.

--Imaginary Voyage (1976) and Enigmatic Ocean (1977) by Jean-Luc Ponty TB: This is a great example of jazz fusion that is informed by classical. This album, Enigmatic Ocean, is one of his most popular jazz fusion records, and it starts with a 47-second track called “Overture,” and, you know, the idea of an overture is very much a classical idea. But also, on both of these albums you have these multipart suites that are compositions that are all sort of connected. So you have the title suites on both of these, “Enigmatic Ocean” and “Imaginary Voyage,” both of which have four sections to them. They make up one composition, but they’re these four-part suites, which is very much a classical thing. This one actually has one of my favorite Jean-Luc Ponty songs on it, which is called “New Country.” It’s a great jazz-bluegrass thing, and it’s really cool...

Even just bringing violin into jazz is sort of bringing the classical world into it.

--We moved from the jazz room to the shelves of pop and rock vinyls, where Baum picked out a couple Kansas albums, one Caravan album, a few Supertramp albums, and a Ween record, which they specified that they were pulling on behalf of their absent co-DJ Hamish.

--Leftoverture (1976) and Point of Know Return (1977) by Kansas TB: These are the albums Leftoverture and Point of Know Return by Kansas, from ‘76 and ‘77 respectively. Both of these are awesome albums…[Leftoverture] starts with “Carry On My Wayward Son” and it ends with a 6-part suite called “Magnum Opus.” This one [Point of Know Return] is a little bit more commercially accessible, which is weird because it’s still very progressive and out there, but the songs don’t have as many crazy instrumental breaks in them. This album has “Dust in the Wind” on it.

TH: Oh, we sang that in choir!

TB: The song after that is called “Sparks of the Tempest,” which is cool ‘cause that’s my name.

TH: What are your favorite songs on these albums?

TB: So, my favorite songs from this album [Leftoverture]...I love the song “Miracles out of Nowhere,” it has an awesome vocal part where at the end of each chorus, it does this “it’s just love and miracles out of nowhere,” some shit like that, and the note he hits the second or third time he does that is just insane. And he hits it in—I don’t know if it’s a belt or if it’s a mix thing, but it just sounds so full and it’s such a high note that it’s insane. The song “Opus Insert” has sort of grew on me more over the course of last semester; it has some amazing vocal harmonies in it.

“Magnum Opus,” I mean, is just an amazing thing. It has a really cool vibraphone part in it, which is awesome. From this album [Point of Know Return], I mean, the opening title track is a classic. It was actually also a radio hit in the ‘70s, and it has this crazy—I think it’s something like, he cuts a beat off of one measure so it’s—I don’t know if it’s in 7, or 13, or 15, but it’s really cool. Actually, the song “Sparks of the Tempest” is a really cool song. “Closet

Chronicles” is really awesome, as is the last song “Hopelessly Human.”

If I Could Do It All Over Again, I’d Do It All Over You (1970) by Caravan TB: Caravan is part of what was called the Canterbury scene. It was originally bands from the city of Canterbury in England.

The Canterbury sound is a very specific sound that combines a psychedelic sound with jazz, and a little bit of avant-garde, and often some folk influence too...this is a really awesome record.

TH: Do you have favorite songs on this one?

TB: I love all the long ones...a lot of these are suites, and they don’t even have overall suite names; a lot of people refer to this [indicating the second track] as “And I Wish I Were Stoned,” but it’s actually “And I Wish I Were Stoned” and then “Don’t Worry,” but that’s an awesome one. “With An Ear to the Ground You Can Make It,” which then goes into “Martinian,” “Only Cox,” “Reprise,” that’s a great one; that might be my favorite. But also “Can’t Be Long Now,” this suite is also amazing. One of those two is probably my favorite.

Crime of the Century (1974), Even in the Quietest Moments… (1977), and Brother Where You Bound (1985) by Supertramp

TB: Supertramp, actually, are quite possibly, either after Pink Floyd or tied with Pink Floyd, the most commercially successful prog band from the 70s, and the only reason they’re probably not as successful is cause they blew it. So this [Crime of the Century] was their third album, but it was their first album that actually got them anywhere. It’s an amazing concept album...it’s about how, kids who struggle in school, or who are like the “problem children,” society doesn’t help them at all...This album is outstanding.

Funny thing is, they released an album the year after this called Crisis? What Crisis?, which was another sorf of social commentary album, and it didn’t really do well at all, and they just came back in ‘77 with an album that did much better... and everybody just kind of ignored the ‘75 album [Crisis? What Crisis?], and just was like ‘okay.’ Which is kind of funny, but yeah, they did that, and that album’s called Even in the Quietest Moments…; it has “Give a Little Bit,” which is one of their most popular songs, and then it also closes with one of my favorite songs by them which is a ten-minute, multi-part song called “Fool’s Overture”...there’s some amazing production on that. They released Breakfast in America in ‘79, which is by far their most famous record.

TH: That is the one I know!

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TB: Yes, and [it’s] more commercial and more towards pop, but also definitely has its prog moments...This was a band where there were two main guys, it was Roger Hodgson and Richard Davies. And they were the core of the band, they were the two songwriters, and their partnership is what made the band...After Breakfast in America, they kind of went downhill.

They were both still on their ‘82 album, which nobody really gives a shit about— I’m gonna be honest, I don’t even remember off the top of my head what it’s called—and then they basically blew it...

One of them left the band, and that’s what blew it. [reading the back cover of Brother Where You Bound] Yeah, Roger Hodgson left the band, Rick Davies was doing it. It’s called Brother Where You Bound, which is a reference to the fact that Roger Hodgson left the band. And I’m basically using my dad’s words—’cause my dad was a huge fan of them, and I remember talking to him about this—he told me they were one of the most successful, basically, most valuable music partnerships, and they just completely blew it. But, for about a decade, these guys were really awesome.

GodWeenSatan: The Oneness (1990) by Ween (on behalf of Robb) TB: Ween is one of those bands that’s just so weirdly connected to the world of progressive rock, because they’re not a band that is obviously influenced by Yes... for example, “Ocean Man”...that’s a song that’s very much a radio hit, but some of the other songs on that album that that’s

from, The Mollusk, you can clearly hear the influence of ‘70s prog. There’s a song on there we’ve played on our show called “Buckingham Green” that has these harmonized acoustic guitar parts, and they’re very dramatic. It gets orchestral at the end; there’s a really dramatic timpani part in the last verse. And they started more as an experimental rock thing, and then moved towards this sort of neo-psychedelic world.

--Before leaving behind the pop and rock vinyls, Baum pointed out a three-record live Yes compilation (“probably an example of the excess of progressive rock because it has, you know, a lot on it”), a Rush record (“nothing off here was very commercially popular, because it opens with an 18-minute song that’s the second part to a song from their previous album”), and a Queen record.

We moved to the room of pop and rock CDs, immediately on your right when

you enter WOBC. I also took a look at WOBC’s metal CD collection, stored in a metal cabinet (fun, right?), for anything that may fall under prog rock. In the metal-metal cabinet, CDs are separated into precise micro-genres, each stored in one or two lidless plastic Tupperwares. I picked up both progressive metal Tupperwares and carried them into the pop CD room. I’d just gone to close the metalmetal cabinet when I heard “Oh shit, here we go! This is some good stuff!” from the pop CD room.

--De-Loused in the Comatorium (2003) by The Mars Volta TB: [reading off the WOBC label on the CD case] “insane psychedelic prog fusion metal punk craziness. Non-stop brilliance. If you hate this album, you are a stupid hipster.” Nice. No, this is an amazing album. This is probably one of the most popular modern prog records.

This was released in 2003...The other reason I say these guys are one of the most successful modern prog bands is that, other than Tool, they’re probably the only modern prog band I can name that’s won a Grammy. Tool won a lot of Grammys for Best Metal Performance; their [The Mars Volta] song “Wax Simulacra” from 2008 won Best Rock Song, I believe [author’s note: The Mars Volta did, in fact, win Best Hard Rock Performance for “Wax Simulacra” in 2008]. But yeah, this is an amazing album.

--Baum also picked out CDs from Tool, Opeth, and Leprous before they had to

get going. Their full list of albums can be found below: Full List: Yessongs (1973) by Yes Crime of the Century (1974) by Supertramp Brother Where You Bound (1985) by Supertramp Even in the Quietest Moments… (1977) by Supertramp Hemispheres (1978) by Rush If I Could Do It All Over Again, I’d Do It All Over You (1970) by Caravan Leftoverture (1976) by Kansas Point of Know Return (1977) by Kansas A Night at the Opera (1975) by Queen Imaginary Voyage (1976) by Jean-Luc Ponty Enigmatic Ocean (1977) by Jean-Luc Ponty Letter from Home (1989) by the Pat Metheny Group GodWeenSatan: The Oneness (1990) by Ween Tall Poppy Syndrome (2009) by Leprous De-Loused in the Comatorium (2003) by The Mars Volta Ghost Reveries (2005) by Opeth 10,000 Days (2006) by Tool

Summer in Review Priya Banerjee, Liza Mackeen-Shapiro Editor in Chief, Opinions Editor For many students on campus this semester, this was the first and last summer they will spend at Oberlin. For others, this semester is just one of many Oberlin summers added to the collection of hot and sticky Ohio memories. Regardless of whether this was your first or third summer spent here, I think feeling that summer fun never quite arrived can be felt by most everyone. We started off how we should have: a commencement week full of parties and parents and moving in and moving out.

What sets the tone for an Oberlin summer is the lull that usually follows the evacuation of the entire student body and the hoards of grandparents and alumni crawling the streets of Oberlin during commencement

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reunion weekend. Instead of a lull, we were bombarded with the return of students to campus as classes resumed just ten days after the end of Spring semester.

What began as a fun summer camp-esque experience quickly turned into a living nightmare. Imagine this...The beautiful, verdant, lush landscape that we know and love is demolished in the name of sustainability. Hundreds of trees were chopped down, even some that had been alive for hundreds of years, in order to make room for the college’s new geothermal heating system. As if that weren’t bad enough, they also dug massive pits everywhere from Harkness Bowl to Wilder Bowl — making it impossible to access Wilder from Mudd and

simply annoying to cross campus in general.

The tree-less streets that were once havens for youngsters to gather and play soon became painful reminders of the underclassmen not on campus. The neo-Dust Bowl vibes on campus made us fearful of being hit by a flying tumbleweed. Maybe these masks aren’t so bad after all…

Which brings us to our next point: Delta. Yup, didn’t see that one coming….

So we thought it was just a hoax at first, but then this girl that I follow on instagram went to a party and got really sick even though she got Pfizer’d. Flo Milli came and went, and in her wake arrived the summer semester’s first round of cancellations.

Student Health still refuses to disclose the number of students infected by the “Lolla-

palooza Variant”, but our sources say it’s the same as the amount of sophomores who go to Long Island night each week.

What else is there to say? No one saw Adam Driver in Slow Train, everyone looked ugly from sweat, and there were maybe two fun parties. Better luck next summer guys...oh wait.

There once was a bowl shrouded in dust Students coughed and wheezed and called summer a bust So we welcomed the monsters Bulldozers forklifts steamrollers And made it out of this summer kind of only just...

- Limerick by Nico Moreta

A Lesson in Obie-Speak Wyatt Camery Opinions Editor In the west wing of the second floor of Mudd Library lies a book you may or may not have heard of. It is A Decade of Campus Language at Oberlin College, or Obie-Speak, edited by Robert Longsworth. “Longsworth retired from Oberlin College as Professor of English in 2000, after 37 years of service there. [...] As a teacher of undergraduate students, he developed a course on the history of the English language, out of which A Decade of Campus Language at Oberlin grew as a class project,” according to the back cover of Obie-Speak.

Longsworth explains in the book’s introduction that, beginning in 1989, he would ask students in his “History and Structure of the English Language” course to submit a few terms for his “dictionary of local usage” which he continued annually until 2001, posting it on the Department of English’s website. The dictionaries listed in Obie-Speak are from Spring 1989, Fall 1990, Fall 1992, Spring 1995, Fall 1997, and Fall 1999. Longsworth begins the introduction of Obie-Speak by offering the most “insistent and frustrating” question for a student of linguistic history of why change occurs in language. Picking up on this theme of change, I’m curious how this book, both what it has to offer anthropologically and its mere habitation in the stacks of Mudd, informs the changing landscape of Oberlin’s community during the shifting dynamics of the everlong pandemic.

Before tackling any big philosophical claims I’ll later attempt to make, let’s explore the fruits of Longsworth’s work and the hilarity and intrigue his book has to offer modern Obies (“n. a student or graduate of Oberlin College”). Many of the terms defined in the book put a smile on my face solely because it feels strange to so formally define terms that are pretty universal amongst college students. Lots of the Oberlin specific terms have indeed carried over to the present day: the ‘Sco, the Arb, the Rat, the Con, the Cat, the Rez, Old B, J House, townie, crunchy, and sexiled are terms we’re all familiar with that have lasted at least the past three decades. Below I’ve compiled some of the synonyms for more common words found throughout the book and other notable definitions.

I recommend that you take a look at the book yourself, for the following list is by no means comprehensive, plus there were many shockingly nonP.C. terms, particularly for stereotypes of students on campus that wouldn’t be appropriate to share here without digging into the significance of them.

Sex: Bone, do the nasty, do the wild thing, get busy, hook up, shtup (Yiddish), boff, go to Elyria, go to the boneyard, hoop (to fornicate with “unusual fervor”), hop on, do the bone, pump (fornication, “generally of a drab, rhythmic sort”), push uglies, spruce (“to fool around”)

Get drunk/intoxicated: get zooted, fucked up, blasted, tanked, wasted, wrecked, ripped

Masturbation: diddle, whack off, feeka-fee/fuk-a-fu

Vomit: blow chunks, boot, yack, blurp, drive the porcelain bus, drive the chuck wagon, (execute the) technicolor yawn, sell the buick, talk on the big white telephone, worship the porcelain god, ralph

Stevie: The Monstrosity, North Campus Mistake, Ralph, Fred’s Diner (assumed to be President S. Fred Starr’s “pet project” according to the student who submitted this term), Nicky Diff (for the acronym of it’s original name, North Campus Dining Facility, NCDF), North Campus Correctional Facility, Norc, the Pyramids of Power, Steve, Stevieland, Stevie Wonderland, the Three Pods (each room was called a pod), the World’s Largest Bathroom

Campus Stereotypes Dichotomy n. A pretentious person; especially one who affects greater knowledge or sophistication than he or she actually possesses [...] It reflects a perceived proclivity among some students to misuse the word itself Dobe n. A pejorative for a student who is often attired in clothing which attempts to emulate the styles of the 60s and early 70s and for whom the Oberlin environment provides the only hope of survival. A shortened form of Obie-Dobie n. 1. An Oberlin student whose dress or behavior is stereotypical.

Pib n. descriptor for a certain type of trendy Oberlin student, one who usually favors dark colored clothing and wears a long balck coat. Usually liberal arts majors (esp. English and theater). Acronym for “person in black.”

Granola fascist n. phrase a kneejerk liberal (pejorative) Mental masturbator n. phrase derogatory term for a person who is regarded as excessively analytic.

Also see Intellectual orgasm n. phrase a sarcastic description of prolonged brooding or of intensely intellectual conversation with another Connie n. 1. a student enrolled in the Conservatory of Music; 2. A student who spends a lot of time in the Conservatory of Music. Syns.: con-geek, con-nerd.

Con wannabe n. phrase a student enrolled in the College of A&S who (1.) pretentiously displays knowledge of classical music in the presence of Conservatory students or (2.) takes secondary lessons from a member of the faculty or a student assistant in the Conversatory of Music.

Scum n. A shortened form of Dascomb Hall.

Barnyard n. Deprecating nickname for Barnard House, a student dormitory.

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A Very Serious, No-Nonsense Take on Oberlin’s Comedy Scene Teagan Hughes Staff Writer Standup comedy has finally returned to Oberlin’s campus after a yearlong hiatus. Students have hosted Shit Pit, Oberlin’s standup comedy open mic, three times this summer, and Shit Pit is gearing up to return in full force this fall.

Shit Pit is a relatively new invention on Oberlin’s campus, but it’s gone through considerable evolution through the years.

I’m curious how Oberlin’s standup has evolved up until this point, and I want to know what we can expect from it in the future. Looking forward to the future of standup on campus necessitates looking backward and examining its past presence in Oberlin.

Recent Oberlin graduate Gabi Shiner ‘19 defined Shit Pit as “an open mic for solo/small group comedy acts running the gamut from classic standup to multigenre stuff.” According to Shiner, Shit Pit was co-founded in 2015 by alumni Maya Sharma and Sophie Zucker.

“The sentiment was always to try out an experimental act, even if you had never done standup before,” Shiner said. “It also felt like an informal, fun comedy hang where people from different ‘scenes’ could perform together and just spend time with each other.”

Shit Pit is the only recurring standalone comedy open mic on campus.

It’s typically held in someone’s living room, and in terms of timing, it happens when it happens. Freedman recalls that when she began attending Oberlin, it felt somewhat exclusive: “There used to be a lot more, like, mystique around Shit Pit; that’s kind of the big change...when

I was a freshman it was like, you would get an email—you were on some emailing list—they would tell you that it’s gonna happen...and then you’ll get emailed the address later. And it was this whole very exclusive thing.” According to Dayan and Freedman, this level of relative mystique and exclusivity went hand-in-hand with a sort of insularity. “One thing I do remember about, like, the previous Shit Pits is that it did feel like...it could sometimes be the same people,” Dayan said, and Freedman echoed this sentiment: “It kind of was a very bro-y club when really…[when it was founded] it was supposed to be very anti-bro-y, but I don’t know; I think along the lines it got kind of bro-y and it got really, like...weird and uncomfortable.”

Creating more publicity around Shit Pit has helped to combat this insularity. Freedman, along with fellow thirdyear Clara Zucker, does most of the planning for Shit Pit nowadays. Dayan often helps sign up and coordinate performers, and Freedman and Dayan have both emceed the event. More recent Shit Pits have gotten more advertisement than ever before, with the goal of expanding the pool of performers and audience members alike. Freedman has begun creating Facebook events and using other online avenues to advertise Shit Pit, and it’s been helping to bring in some new faces.

“When Clara and I started hosting, and I think it started with Gabi [Shiner] and P.J. [McCormick, former hosts of Shit Pit] too, wanted to make it a lot more public,” said Freedman, “or else you’re just gonna get the same few people.”

All interviewees conveyed that

having more outlets for standup comedy on campus may bring more people into the ‘scene,’ as it were—historically, it always has. All recalled that student comedians used to open for touring comics when they performed on Oberlin’s campus, and that this arrangement was often a huge draw for students interested in performing or watching standup.

Freedman expressed interest in seeing more professional comedians come to campus: “It would be a great opportunity for people to open, and it would just be fun! And I think that’s how it would reach a way better audience.” According to Shiner, these opportunities to open for professional comedians during her time at Oberlin became a valuable opportunity for collaboration and spotlighting underrepresented performers. Recalling a show in which student performers opened for comedian Jaboukie Young-White in March 2019, Shiner said: “The other openers and I spent hours in Warner studios helping each other polish our sets.

We really invested in each other’s success,

which is not always true of stand ups. Kira [Felsenfeld] and Ru [Anderson, organizers of the event] also successfully made that show a platform for marginalized comedians, something bookers in the real world with way more money and influence than college students event planning on the side have deigned to attempt. I don’t know if I would have gotten into standup after college if not for this collective desire to pull off these very intentional and ambitious feats.”

The opportunity for collaboration in standup and general comedy at Oberlin has long been one of its strong points.

“Looking back, I see that the standup scene (and the comedy scene in general) was well oiled because it was genuinely so collaborative and people were willing to put in the work,” Shiner said of her time doing comedy at Oberlin. All interviewees emphasized the variety in performance and perspective of student comedians on campus and the benefits this variety brings. “I feel like the people that I’ve met that felt really strongly and seriously

Shit Pit is the only recurring standalone comedy open mic on campus. It’s typically held in someone’s living room, and in terms of timing, it happens when it happens. Freedman recalls that when she began attending Oberlin, it felt somewhat exclusive: “There used to be a lot more, like, mystique around Shit Pit; that’s kind of the big change...when I was a freshman it was like, you would get an email—you were on some emailing list—they would tell you that it’s gonna happen...and then you’ll get emailed the address later. And it was this whole very exclusive thing.”

A Lesson in Obie Speak continued All these terms and phrases are certainly entertaining and intriguing.

They demonstrate both how language changes, particularly with regards to what is accepted and expected politically, as well as the simultaneous endurance and universality of slang. Ultimately, writing about this book felt exciting to me because it reminded me of a conversation that has been a hot topic over the past

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couple semesters. It’s the institutional memory conversation that I felt was somewhat overly dramatic until I realized that it truly is up to the Class of ‘22 to continue traditions from before the pandemic. Yet, I also see value in change, so I am wary of saying I fully share this anxiety over fading institutional memory.

For those who do feel this fear that the Oberlin culture they know and

love is in danger, then I encourage you to check out this book. Obie-Speak is a great opportunity to connect to our past—what better way to build community than to acknowledge a shared history? It’s also an opportunity to think about how we want to be remembered. As the classes (‘22 and ‘23) who are responsible for carrying Oberlin’s culture out of the pandemic which threatened and interrupted our

collegiate experience, what do we want to be known for? How can we leave our mark on campus? What slang or [insert cultural item or tradition] do we want to leave behind? I love traditions as much as the next person, but rather than lament potential changes coming to campus, we can acknowledge that change is going to

Oberlin Sketch Comedy continued about it [standup] have their own distinct style,” said Freedman, “and that’s what feels really great about collaborating with people is that you know that you’re working with people that have a different type of style, but you still really respect their taste and their opinion.” Shiner expressed that her favorite part of doing standup on campus was seeing everyone’s unique takes on the discipline. “Everyone at Oberlin has such a well curated perspective and sensibility, and is usually into a million different things and not just comedy,” she said. “So it was very cool to see how everyone brought their interests and backgrounds to their acts.”

There’s not only opportunity for collaboration within the comedy “scene,” but for collaboration with different creative groups and endeavors as well. Freedman recalled doing a standup set as an opener for a recent noise show, and expressed interest in more likewise collaboration in the future. Dayan conjectured that such collaboration could present an opportunity for student comedians to challenge themselves in performing standup for broader audiences, and to ultimately hone their craft.

As Oberlin’s standup community broadens, the medium and breadth of performance expands along with it. Dayan sees more performers taking risks at Shit Pit than when they first started attending, and Freedman and Dayan both indicated that they would be excited to see this trend continue. Freedman expressed interest in blending standup and music performance, citing collaborations between experimental forms of both music and comedy that have taken place outside of Oberlin as possible blueprints. Freedman and Dayan also mentioned that they would be interested in seeing forms of comedy and performance aside from what could be called “classic standup” at Shit Pit. “It’s not explicitly like a comedy open mic, even though that’s often how it functions,” Dayan said. “It can be any number of things...I’d love to see it reach into as many different things and disciplines as it can, while still being a fun experience.”

Freedman emphasized the same potential for multidisciplinarity: “A funny song, a funny dance, a funny video…or, like, duos. I’d love a parody song,” she said. “It’s like, you wanna do a silly, goofy thing, come to Shit Pit [and] do a silly, goofy thing.”

When asked how she hoped the standup ‘scene’ had improved since her graduation, Shiner, who graduated in 2019, emphasized the importance of inclusivity and collaboration. “I hope people are just having fun and feeling included and using each other as resources,” she said. “I hope people are getting excited about all the creative ideas in the community and forging friendships through comedy. I wish I had been able to talk more with my friends and peers about their artistic ideas when we were doing comedy together, but I think there was a bit of fear around openly caring about that sort of thing, or at least I was afraid!”

Going forward, both Freedman and Dayan expressed a desire to make Shit Pit as open and as welcoming as possible: “I just want it to be a more inclusive environment,” Dayan said of Shit Pit. “The last thing I’d want is for it to seem like this kind of clique where like there’s a select group of people who get to do standup, like, y’know, friends telling jokes and introducing other friends to tell their jokes, and then, like, an outsider will come and do their set and it’ll just be dead silence...that’s the last thing I would want...my big goal for the future is just to get as many different people doing it as possible and...people with different perspectives on whatever it is they’re joking about.” Both Freedman and Dayan emphasized the community-building capacity of standup and other forms of comedy, and their potential power on Oberlin’s campus.

“I just want it to be a community and I want it to not feel insular,” Freedman said. “I think my goal is to just...have it be fun and exciting. I think it gets boring if it’s the same few people doing it over and over again, but it also gets boring if it’s just—everyone just wants to do it once and then cry and leave…[when I first arrived at Oberlin] I was like ‘I hate this fucking place,’ and then I did Shit Pit, and I did Good Talk, and I felt really involved in something, and I felt like I was building a community, and I felt like I was pushing myself to get better ‘cause I was watching other people, and just really feeling safe in collaboration...I think I just want that environment.”

By Eva Sturm-Gross

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Aaron Dilloway Talks Lucy & A Pubescent Punk Rockser, and G Saffron Forsberg Arts and Culture Editor Aaron Dilloway has this way of talking to you, like you’re sardonic old friends, like you’re in on a joke. I hadn’t been to his record store, Hanson Records—a true College St. fixture—since before the pandemic closed its doors. Passing the dollar record crate, and hauling myself up those familiar groaning stairs into that record store smell—surely you know the one: dusty PVC and new record sleeves—I realized I had forgotten how much Hanson’s mere existence had been a source of comfort for me during my first year of college.

The store, to my surprise, is humming on a Wednesday afternoon in July. The pink and mint pieces of album art from Aaron’s latest album, Lucy & Aaron, drip and twirl from the ceiling in the open-window breeze. The painting that graces the LPs cover—a melting portrait of collaborators and old friends, Dilloway and Lucrecia Dalt—is a project of artist Pieter Schoolwerth. It’s a spin on classic duet album covers like Nancy & Lee, or Port Wagoner and Dolly Parton’s Together Always—only I doubt Lee Hazelwood ever placed a contact mic in his mouth, as Dilloway does in Schoolwerth’s version.

Aside from the art exhibition, the store seems to sit more-or-less as I’d left it. I mill around as Dilloway shoots some emails, my fingertips landing on TIMARA records, .99 dulcimer albums, and a compilation of underground LA hardcore punk tracks. I’d forgotten just how curated Hanson is: a true college-town gem. And I’m surprised when Dilloway looks up from his computer and tells me he can’t remember anybody from The Grape ever having spoken to him before. Furrowing a brow as I pull a chair up to the counter—see here: charmingly obligatory box of quippy buttons, burbling turntable, assorted wires and cables—I say ”never? I’m surprised.” Bastards.

He shakes his head. “Maybe a show review from The ‘Sco. But that might’ve even been The Review, too. I played a show with Pharmakon. Probably six years ago or so.”

Our voices fill the store, an appropriate accompaniment to the afternoon murmur of downtown Oberlin. I address the elephant in the room.

S: So you’re back. You’re happy to be back, but you also almost weren’t.

AD: Yeah I wasn’t sure. I mean Oberlin’s a tricky town.

The summers are always pretty slow because the students

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are gone. But just with the pandemic...I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be around [laughs] people, very much. And, uh, the art show was kind of our reopening. I realized how much I’ve really missed chatting with people about music up here.

Like many rightfully cautious downtown Oberlin haunts, Dilloway’s two-room record store made its post-quarantine debut this summer. Yes, our dear College Street has begun to show a bit of skin again as sweaty second- and thirdyears make their trek to Slow Train for cold brew and organic blueberries...but still wear a mask when browsing Hanson for now. Do come by, though. You’d be missing out.

S: Do you think Oberlin is a good place to be at this point? As an artist and a person?

AD: Yeah! Yeah, I think it’s great. Especially for someone like me. I mean I feel really at home here. I grew up in a little farm town outside of Ann Arbor [Brighton], and moved to

Ann Arbor, lived there for 10 years. Uh, and this is kind of a mixture. A college town and a little farm town...but it’s like a little tiny town that has an electronic music studio in it. And, y’know, tons of people into interesting art and music. So it’s pretty perfect.

S: Do you think the TIMARA program and that sort of scene in general here has been a good part of living in the town?

AD: Oh yeah, yeah. I love it. I mean the first—I think it was the first week I was here…[electronic composer] Gordon Mumma...was here. He was giving a talk. And I went to that.

And he was showing all these Super 8 films of him and [experimental composer] Pauline Oliveros. And uh, yeah, home movies. They were home movies of his. He would document a lot of stuff and, um, I was just like ‘oh my god, this place is incredible.’

S: [I’m taken aback, as you can imagine.] Oh wow. Yes. Such a strange little bubble.

Aaron, Ann Arbor Noise Rock, Genesis P-Orridge AD: Yeah. And over the years, it took me a little while to get to know [conservatory professor] Tom, but yeah, they’re great...I didn’t go to college; I’m not really an academic...so I’m a little shy sometimes. There was a professor here, Per Bloland who was a former TIMARA professor. And we would hang out quite a bit and uh—I can’t remember if he was over at my house—but one day I was, like, filing records and I was going through these old ‘70s electronic music studio records and I was like ‘man, it’d be really cool if Oberlin did one of these’, and, y’know, kind of—yeah. [He gestures to a stack of TIMARA records behind me. I didn’t have to ask.] Because I’d like to be more involved with the school. So I mentioned that to him…’you think Tom would ever be up to doing a record of student and professor works?’ and it took about three years and then Per, unfortunately, was gone by then but, uh, yeah so we did that first TIMARA LP. And we did another one.

And hopefully they’ll be a third.

S: That’s such a great idea. That’s such a great way of documenting; it’s almost like a yearbook [laughs].

--S: So, do you think you’ve had a good relationship with students over the years? Because it feels very cyclical.

People come and go.

AD: Yeah it’s hard...there was a crew I was really tight with...like Adrian Rew; I ended up putting out a record for him. But he was, like, this is way back before I even had the shop and I just ran the label as just an online distro for noise and experimental, and he was like my assistant. He was in—I can’t remember if he was on Concert Board or Modern Music Guild, but that crew that was here at that point was just really excited about crazy music. And they brought so many cool shows. So when they left—they all graduated—I felt a little lull, right. [Dilloway looks past me, almost forlorn.] Because I didn’t really know anybody, and then, I guess two years ago, like Henry Nelson and Autumn [Culp] and people started coming up here and were like ‘let’s start doing shows up here again’. It definitely got me excited about the shop again.

I smile. I remember those shows; they were some of my first introductions to live noise and experimental music on campus, and in general, along with basement shows featuring now dear friends CORONET and Existence Decay.

I remember stomping in from the slushy cold of an Ohio winter, dropping my coat, and watching my favorite music dorks assemble their music dork equipment. It was a sweet intermission to a regular Oberlin weekday. Taking place from February 2018 through February 2020, the midday show series Free Therapy was an opportunity to witness Oberlin’s overflowing enthusiasm for all things “crazy music.”

S: I heard from a friend this morning that there’s a class doing field recordings, and they might do a thing here?

AD: Oh yeah, yeah. I’m helping Julia Christianson get a record pressed for her class. So I love—y’know I don’t get to do a whole lot of that...working with the school on stuff, but it’s always really fun when it happens.

S: You seem very open to all sorts of experiments.

AD: Yeah, for sure.

S: [Speaking of which,] I saw that you did field recordings with Lucrecia [Dalt] in Colombia. How did that come to be?

AD: Yeah. Well, let’s see. Lu and I were touring in Europe, and then she had this residency [in Colombia] at this incredible place. It’s like this artist retreat in the middle of the jungle.

And it’s—I can’t remember what...they had this quote. It’s in Spanish but it was roughly like: ‘a place to rest.’ [laughs] it’s kind of like a place for artists to go and take a little break and think. Not necessarily set up like ‘you gotta come here and work on a project!’ It’s more like: come here and take a breather and think about what you’re doing, and what you wanna do next. That’s what we did. I mean, of course, both of us are always trying to work on something, so we’re still like ‘well, we’re gonna take our recorders around and throw coconuts around.’

Dalt and Dilloway had met a decade before formally collaborating on a record this year. There were little experiments here and there, but the musicians were mostly great friends and tourmates. Their 2021 record, Lucy & Aaron, feels like a long-time coming.

S: Alright so Lucy & Aaron! Are there any specific influences you can pinpoint on that record?

AD: ...Yeah. I mean, [Lucrecia Dalt and I] met quite a while ago. We played a festival together and traded records. And I got that at a time when I wasn’t really—my kids were young— I wasn’t really going out and hearing a lot of new stuff. So I remember her record really having an impact like ‘whoa, this woman’s doing really amazing stuff.’ And it wasn’t until many years later that a friend started booking her shows. And so he was like ‘hey, I’m booking these shows for Lucrecia, wanna play?’ and I was like ‘yeah I love her stuff.’ And so we played some shows together, and we really hit it off. So gosh, the record though—she wanted to make kind of an experimental record more than her last record, and I kind of wanted to make a pop record.

S: Yeah, I can see that in listening to it.

Lucrecia Dalt is from Colombia. She grew up there.

AD: She had an art show in a museum in Bogota. She had an installation there. And then I think that was somehow part of that. But it was cool; we flew in on, like, a 15 person plane, and then had to get on a boat—like a speedboat—with all of our stuff, and we were just like [laughs] it was really the middle of nowhere. It was amazing.

All Accompanied Art by Saffron Forsberg

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AD: I think it melded pretty well.

S: I think I can especially see that in a track like “The Blob” which is almost danceable. It has a really infectious beat to it, which I found surprising compared to the rest of the album.

That one in particular.

AD: Yeah, I think that’s definitely the poppiest.

S: Is there a story behind that one? Why is it called “The Blob”?

AD: Well, she’s singing about “the thing”...she keeps bringing up “the thing”S: Is that about the movie?

AD: It isn’t about the movie, but she says that. And then we just thought it’d be funny [laughs] S: There’s definitely some humor in this record.

AD: Yeah, a lot of it is just little inside jokes, and like movie soundtracks...early electronic music. Everything we listen to is kind of in there. In the last track [“The Tunnel”]—it’s funny because I just read a review of the record that complains about the last track and they were like ‘that fade-out on the last track drives me crazy’—and it’s funny...I did that because as a kid...we’d rent these horror movies...and the end credits would always have some cool synth soundtrack or something, and it’s like this groovy song. And the credits would fade out, and the song would just end. It’s just over. And so that was kind of like my tribute to that; ‘I wanna do like an old VHS tape.’

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Later, we talk a bit more on Dilloway and Dalt’s collaborative relationship.

AD: So when we [Lucrecia and I] played the first show of our tour together, I was watching her—and y’know when I play, it’s mostly working the mixing board. But I move a lot. And I’m watching her and I’m thinking…’she-she moves the same as me when she plays’. It’s weird. Y’know I’ve seen videos of myself so I know. Just watching her perform—she’s really a master of spacing out sounds, and just finding weird little pockets to put little sounds in. I was just super blown away.

S: Do you think you have similar creative processes, or-?

AD: Somewhat. I think her’s is a bit more thought-out and mine’s a bit more ‘ahhh let’s see what happens!’ I think it’s a good mixture.

Lucy & Aaron is textural and high-energy. Dalt’s distinctive vocals play with stereo sound, lingering on pressure points amid industrial blipping and thudding. Dilloway’s vocals seem to ooze and writhe on tracks like “Bordeándola.”

Somehow, the mingling of approaches is seamless, as fresh pop undercurrents allow for some foot-tapping. The sound feels digestible, yet novel in the way it plays with both artists’ experimental processes.

--S: So, this is sort of a big question. And also an expected question. But, how did you find yourself into this sort of [noise and experimental] music? How did you find yourself enjoying this, or discovering this?

AD: I mean I grew up always into music. Like as far back as I can remember, I was super into rock n’ roll. I had an older brother and sister who were nine and ten years older than me, so we had records and 8 tracks around the house. I was born in 1976, so, like, as I was growing up, y’know, KISS was huge, and Cheap Trick, and Journey. My brother was into all those bands, so those records were always around. We got MTV in 1981, when it first came out. And, y’know, that was when they were showing Gary Neuman videos and just weird new-wave videos, so I was just always into rock. And I used to get Hit Parader magazines, and at one point, I would kind of see things here and there about punk music. I mean basically, the short answer is that I got into experimental music through punk music. [Laughs] So, I played hockey as a little kid, from like Kindergarten to sixth grade, because my brother played hockey. And I was really into it, it was super fun. But there was a kid on my team whose sister was, like, a total punk-rocker, with, y’know, leather jacket, spikes, big huge spiked black hair. I thought she was the coolest being I had ever seen. But he brought in a tape of The Butthole Surfers. So I’m in like fourth grade.

S: Wow. Early.

AD: And he brought that into the locker room, and he was playing us Butthole Surfers. And we just thought it was hilarious. Because we’re, like, fourth graders—we thought the name of the band was hilarious; they’re swearing, and it’s just total chaos. And we’re like ‘this is punk music!’ So, that was in my head as to what punk rock music; it was just basically, like, chaos...freaking out...stuff just everywhere. So then I got bad grades in sixth grade—or fifth grade. My mom made me quit playing hockey, so I got a skateboard.

And with the skateboard came Thrasher magazine, and it was either on a Thrasher or maybe it was a Hit Parader, but I ordered a punk rock mail order catalog from a company called Toxic Shock, and so that was the first time I saw a lot of bands I would eventually hear. But, there were a good number of years before I—y’know we didn’t have the internet.

It was hard to hear a lot of this stuff.

So I was in sixth grade, and a friend of mine, Alyssa Farrow, her older sister was also a punk, and Alyssa was already a punk. She was [in] like sixth grade with the side of her head shaved. And she made me a tape, and it had the Sex Pistols, and Butthole Surfers, and the Circle Jerks, and Suicidal Tendencies. And that was the first punk music that I heard.

S: Of course, yeah.

AD: But a lot of it just sounded like—the Sex Pistols especially, who I came to end up loving, but when I first heard it I was like...this is that crazy band? This sounds like, just rock music, compared to, like, The Butthole Surfers. So it was, like, years and years of just trying to find weirder punk music. There was a lot of noise rock stuff in the late ‘80s, early ‘90s. And back then if you bought something—y’know you spend all your money on it, you couldn’t really test it out beforehand, so it’s like ok, I bought this I gotta listen to it over and over. Maybe I’m missing something. So you give stuff a lot more trys. But, I was still wasn’t finding what I was looking for.

And eventually, I saw a band called Couch play, which I ended up joining a couple years later. But they were, like, the noisiest noise rock band I’d seen. And those guys were like 10 years older than me, and they kind of became my music mentors. And they were like ‘you gotta check out Captain Beefheart, and this Japanese noise stuff’ and that lead me to all these other things, and to early electronic music. Which—I remember as a little kid in science class watching film strips. Y’know watching these old science filmstrips, and they would have this weird, mysterious electronic music. I remember asking my teacher if there were records of that music.

And she just kind of blew off the question. And then it was like many, many years later it was like ‘oh! There are records! Lots and lots of records of this kind of stuff.’

S: How did you find this stuff?

All Accompanied Art by Saffron Forsberg

good shows were in Detroit or Ann Arbor, and I think we were at School Kids, the record shop, and we saw the flyer for the Laughing Hyenas show, and it was in a house in Ann Arbor. They were playing this house party, and that’s where I saw Couch for the first time. So at that show, was all these Ann Arbor kids that I eventually met and started bands with. So, it was kind of moving from Brighton to Ann Arbor. Those guys in Couch invited my band to open for them so then we met all the Ann Arbor punks at that show and started playing shows with them. And then we all moved into a house together in Ann Arbor and put on shows there.

At that point, Dilloway was playing guitar, drums, and the organ. And, of course, experimenting with tapes. “Ever since I was really little I always messing around with tape players.” He tells me.

Indeed, more than any other title, he likens himself a “tape player.” “We would get dubbed copies [of punk tapes] from older brothers and sisters,” he explains.

“So I think that’s kind of where my love for tapes [comes from]: listening to these punk bands.”

AD: It was mostly like—I think I started finding horror movie soundtracks, like synthesizer horror movie soundtracks first. Um, but there was a great record store in Ann

Arbor called School Kids [RIP School Kids (1976-2011)]. And those guys in the band Couch would turn me onto stuff. I had my own band and we ended up playing shows with them [Couch]. And we were doing this noisy grunge-rock stuff, and then we saw them play and it was like a gamechanger. We were really into Devo, too—Devo and B-52s.

So we saw them, and we were like we’re never going to play chords again [we both laugh] AD: We’re gonna play like—Justin, my buddy started tuning his guitar all weird. Our friend Julie played oboe, so we invited her to be in our band. And so then these older guys started to put out our record and we became buddies with them. And then they needed a drummer for our tour, so they asked me so I went. I was 17 or 18, but I went on tour with those guys.

S: So young!

AD: A couple shows got canceled because the bars found out how young I was.

--S: So was there kind of a punk culture in Ann Arbor? Did you just happen upon some punks, orAD: Well yeah. I mean it was the late ‘80s, so there were punks, and mostly skater kids. And we all knew that all the

S: Wow, [making music] came so early for you, just completely as a child.

AD: Well, they [instruments, tape recorders, musical influences] were always there, y’know. And it’s like, my cousin and I would make little tapes, little pause button things of us, like, burping into a tape recorder over and over and over. And I would make medleys of songs I liked and create these medleys of all my favorite parts of all my favorite songs.

--We land on the subject of Texas when he asks me where I’m from. It’s a little far from Brighton, Michigan.

AD: I mean Texas is—that’s where the Butthole Surfers are from. There’s what started it all for me. And then Culturcide.

Are you into Culturcide at all?

S: No. Should I be?

AD: You should check out...yeah it’s um—it’s the band of this guy named Perry Webb; he does art now under the name Mark Flood. He’s a really successful artist. But he had a really incredible kind of industrial punk band called Culturicide... it’s like early-Houston, late ‘70s, early ‘80s. And they were infamous for—they put out a record that was just them singing over pop songsS: [laughs] yeah, yeah.

AD: Like the biggest hits of the time, like Huey Lewis and Bruce Springsteen, and Michael Jackon, and Pat Benetar.

And just, uh, redoing the lyrics, so they’re just these really over-the-top, intense, political—before you leave I’ll play you a track—the lyrics are just kind of like…’oh my god...yeah, yeah, you’re right.’ But just like super raw.

S: I think one of my first punk introductions was Scratch Acid from Austin. Because I was always—especially when I moved

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here—fascinated by people who did weird shit and were from Texas. [laughs] Um, because even across genres there’s a very specific way people [from Texas]...even just perform.

AD: Last night I was having a hard time going to sleep...and I put on a Dicks documentaryS: Ugh, I love them.

AD: Y’know, I don’t know a whole lot of The Dicks...those records just never—no one in my town had ‘em and before I could get those records I was checking out different stuff.

So I started watching it [The Dicks from Texas (2014)] and I had to turn it off because I was like ‘this is too interesting.’

Because, y’know, them being this queer punk band in the middle of Texas…

S: Yes, of course. I was—I am—obsessed. [laughs] No, I’m-I’m very familiar with the Dicks.

While conversing on some of our favorite punkrockers and noise-makers, I admit to being a bit of a starstruck person...but really only for artists whose work has moved me in a strange and memorable way—so, admittedly, some probably pretty unrecognizable “stars.”

S: It’s so funny how cult celebrities...to some people are very important...and you get very, y’knowAD: Oh I know. I’m a total fanboy. I feel very grateful and lucky as hell...like I’ve gotten to perform shows, or put out records for, or play gigs with a lot of the people who, y’know, influenced me musically, and in other ways.

S: Who do you think was, like, the most—y’know the person you played with who was like ‘wow’?

AD: I mean doing a two-week tour, as a duo, with Genesis P-Orridge was really intense [laughs] S: Yeah, that’s intense. I just read Cosey’s autobiography [Art, Sex, Music] she put out like last year, so it’s hard to hear that [her] side of the story, but also amazing. Y’know...people are people.

AD: I mean they were all...exploring a lot of fucked-up stuff.

But, y’know, the Gen I knew was the sweetest, kindest, most open person. We were on tour, we were actually at an exhibition with Cosey. On that tour, there was a COUM Transmission art show in their hometown of Hull.

S: That’s amazing. I would kill.

AD: Yeah it was...it was super cool. Uh, but I almost didn’t go, because I knew they had a rocky relationship, and it was up-and-down, and they were always—y’know, it was intense.

And I was like ‘should I even go to the thing in Hull, or should I just get my own show elsewhere? Y’know, is it gonna be weird?’ and Gen was like ‘oh no, things are great with Cosey now! It’ll be great.’ [Cackles] And it was...it was..it was nice.

S: It was? [laughs] AD: It was. But then I was walking with the curator of the show and he was like ‘oh man, I’m so glad we got this together before Cosey’s book comes out’ [we both laugh] and I was like ‘...what’s in Cosey’s book…?’

--S: Well, I’ll get out of your hair. But can I ask for two more things?

AD: Uh-huh.

S: So, if a reader was done listening to Lucy & Aaron, what should they listen to next? What is a good album to listen to after yours?

AD: Oh gosh. Huh. I would say check out some H.N.A.S. They’re an older project of this artist Christoff Heeman, which I think is a similar—y’know there’s songs occasionally, but also things that pop out occasionally...they’re confusing

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records that don’t always make sense, they don’t really fit into an exact category.

S: Alright...two, are there any records in the store today that are really exciting to you, that are like your ‘hot picks’?

AD: Uh, yeah. I just got that in today. XV. [Dilloway slides out of his chair and walks over to the “New Arrivals” crate, pulling out XV’s 2019 self-titled album, which was recently re-released this year on vinyl. A few weeks later, I come back and buy it for myself. Whoops.]

S: Yes! I was looking at that.

AD: Yeah, it’s a band from Detroit. It’s really—it’s kinda punk...it’s kind of a strange take on punk music. [he takes the record from his sleeve, the motion second-nature. He drops the needle.] There’s this track called “hair.”

[A noise rock cacophony enters the store as the needle finds its groove; some classic thudding punk guitars and a bleating animal of a saxophone. There’s silence and then a heavy, tough-guy bassline and some rhythmic drumming. The vocals start up: nasal and off-kilter, something akin to The Shaggs or The Raincoats. I am, of course, smitten.]

AD shows me another record: a collection of Asmus Tietchens tracks.

AD: This is this guy, his name’s Asmus Tietchens. He’s a German guy...probably in his 70s. But all of these people on the record— it’s actually all anagrams of him. [AD relishes in my shocked enthusiasm, teenage giggle].

Yeah, that’s his real name there.

S: That’s a fun bit.

AD: He was, like, part of the late ‘70s krautrock...he put out some pretty classic krautrock records. And then he did these incredible minimal synth records in the late ‘70s. And then he got into the industrial scene and put out these incredible industrial records in the ‘80s. And then he did noise records in the ‘90s. It’s like...everything he does is perfect. He’s just like one of those people—he can do any style, and it’s just always right on.

While listening to a sampling of Tietchens soundbites—and between musings on Hamberg radio shows, hallway field recordings, Neil Young’s 1982 album Trans, and briefly, Algebra Suicide—I take Dilloway’s photograph. He leans back in his swivel chair and flashes me a genuine smile.

“Thanks, this was fun.”

Aaron Dilloway’s new album Lucy & Aaron—and his extensive discography—are available from the Hanson label via Bandcamp. To shop Dilloway’s record store online, check out Hanson_Records on Discogs. Dilloway’s Instagram is @ medicinestunts.

All Accompanied Art by Saffron Forsberg

Space Jam: A New Legacy Review went into making it.

If anything, the movie wants you to know how much money went into its making. It’s money that doesn’t just come from Warner Brothers’ monopolistic power, but from product placement as well. LeBron is clothed in head to toe Nike logos at the beginning of the movie; when he lands in ToonTown, he is launched into the earth in the shape of a swoosh.

In this way, Space Jam signifies a movement in cinema away from plot and towards nostalgia, referentiality, and commercialism. Obviously, the writers of this film know a lot about cinema, respect it a lot, even love it.

However, when placed against the marketing spiels for Warner Bros, the enthusiastic references become cynical at best. “Look at Casablanca, Harry Potter, The Matrix!

Look at what cinema has been!” If the viewer is unfamiliar or unenthused, the movie is familiar and enthused for them: LeBron James is eagerly clothed in Hufflepuff merchandise; even the algorithm’s pitch to him presents to the viewer, “Warner Brothers, the studio behind all the classics.”

Kira Mesch Staff Writer

By Eva Sturm-Gross If Space Jam: A New Legacy had come out about 10 years earlier, I think I would have liked it perfectly fine. It’s the kind of movie I would have gotten at a McDonalds Redbox for a dollar and watched at a sleepover party and it would have been good enough. It’s the kind of movie my mom wouldn’t have been mad about her pre-adolescent children dragging her to. It’s bright and it’s colorful and it’s genuinely funny sometimes, and Don Cheadle is great at doing what he needs to do. A nostalgic part of me is deeply endeared to the (non-CGI) Looney Tunes and their antics.

I watched the movie on HBO Max, because I was busy when the Apollo Theatre was running it for free on Monday, and too cheap and lazy to leave my dorm

room after that. It took me three different sittings to watch it: the first intermission was because I got hungry.

The second one was because I got bored and tired about 20 minutes before the end.

It has a plot, which is something. The conflict of the movie is a classic but symbolic one: LeBron James’ old way of doing things, a purist version of basketball, comes into conflict with a newer and shinier way of doing things, represented by his son’s self-designed video game. The father has ambitions for his son, but the son wants to follow his own path. I feel the way about Space Jam: A New Legacy that I do about the Justin Bieber song “Peaches,” which is that it’s well made, if you don’t consider the ungodly amount of money that probably

If there is an anxiety that Space Jam: A New Legacy represents, it is about a new wave of technology coming to eclipse old ways of doing things. I am not the first writer to mention how streaming has fundamentally shifted movie viewership, nor the first one to think about how video games have reformatted viewers’ capacity to think about plot. The ability to pause, to rewind, or to act out narratives recursively and eternally stands in stark contradictions to the viewers of 70 years ago seeing Casablanca in theaters. Truly, I think the concept of an algorithm as a character could be done in such an interesting way.

If I saw this movie ten years earlier, I would have been passively delighted, if at times perplexed (who let Porky Pig freestyle? and so on…). However, as I become a more active creator and consumer of media, the movie reflects an anxiety I hold at some place deep inside me: that perhaps, at some day in the future, the people who make art will be gone, replaced by sentient algorithms, and owned by monopolistic media companies.

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Fountains of Symbolism:

Religious Imagery & Aesthetic Mysteries in a Van Eyck Altarpiece at the Allen Memorial Art Museum Theo Canter Contributor This story begins a little over two years ago, while I was still traveling on my gap year. I was meandering around the Prado museum in Madrid, searching for its well-known works like Francisco Goya’s Third of May, Hieronymous Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights, or Picasso’s Guernica, when I came upon Jan Van Eyck’s Fountain of Grace and Life altarpiece. I was intrigued by what I initially thought was a depiction of the ancient Jewish temple, with the priests in their garb and scrolls in Hebrew.

Upon closer inspection, though, I realized the scrolls were in a pseudoHebrew, and that the Jews were depicted as blindfolded and stumbling, while the Christians across the painting stood upright and proud. Reading the plaque, I understood the painting’s polemical antisemitism, reflecting supersessionism, the Christian idea that the Jews have abandoned their own covenant, that Christians are the new divinely chosen people.

It hurt to see this painting exhibited so prominently. I had just spent time in the regions of Spain once home to the world’s largest Jewish community, and the birthplace of some of the greatest intellectual, artistic, and scientific accomplishments. Here, there had been relative coexistence among Jews, Muslims, and Christians until the brutal expulsion and inquisition in 1492. I felt a sense of ambivalence about that place in a way similar to Germany or Poland, places of prosperity as well as destruction.

I didn’t give that painting any thought until the first day of class this summer — Synagogues Churches, Mosques with Professor Erik Inglis, a class about intra-religious dialogue through art and architecture (particularly in Spain.) Walking in, I was greeted with that same painting projected on the board, and learned that the painting has a copy right here in the Allen Memorial Art Museum, one of only two (surviving) copies.

Imagining the chance to live out my childhood dream of finding myself amidst the plot of an Indiana Jones or National Treasure flick, I had to find out more. I first spoke to Dr. Alexandra

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Letvin, Assistant Curator of European and American Art at the AMAM, who graciously explained to me the painting’s history and significance in great detail — and how the history of the painting(s) ties into many significant threads of history, art, religion, politics.

AMAM’s scholars and dendrochronology date the painting to the late 1500s, over 100 years after the original, currently in the Prado, was made, likely

by Van Eyck or his peers. The signature hints that it may have been painted by Cristobal de Velasco (1588-1617), and the heraldry in the corner indicate the patron, García de Loaysa y Girón (1534-1599), archbishop of Toledo and tutor of the future King Philip III. According to Spanish author Antonio Ponz (1725-1792) this copy hung prominently in the cathedral of Palencia by the 18th century, and gained a reputation for its aesthetics and visual mastery.

Because of this widespread sensation, during the Peninsular War of 1812 it was

captured by Napoleon and taken back to France, where it circulated on the French art market, and was sold to the French National Antiques Syndicate’s president Fernand Schutz in 1860, and then in 1913 to an American collector. The painting then ended up in the collection of Ruth Livingston Mills (widow of FDR’s Treasury Secretary Ogden Mills) and was sold to the AMAM in 1952.

Responsible for Oberlin’s acquisition were professors Charles Parkhurst and Wolfgang Stechow. Stechow had been a prolific curator in Germany, but due to his Jewish heritage he was forced out of his position with the Nazis’ rise to power. His prominence in the art history world allowed him to escape Germany in 1938, whereupon he taught art at Oberlin for 25 years. Parkhurst (OC ‘35) was deputy director of the Monuments Men, an American military unit who repatriated art looted by the Nazis, but was fired in 1949 for a petition he signed, criticizing the American government’s confiscation

Photo provided by Allen Memorial Art Museum, R. T. Miller Jr.

of German art as war spoils. He thereupon returned to Oberlin as Arts Department chair and director of the Allen, replacing Clarence Ward (who had also been his undergrad advisor.)

“Today, when I want to acquire a work of art for the museum, I have to write a scholarly memo about the reasons why we should be acquiring it. This gets added to our curatorial file so future researchers understand our reasoning,” Letvin, who oversees the Allen’s acquisitions today, told me. “That wasn’t the case in the 1950s, so while we often have correspondence about an acquisition, we don’t always have a full explanation for why a work was acquired.”

While no answer exists on record as to why the AMAM purchased this painting, we have some clues. Speaking generally, Parkhurst said in an interview “I collect for elucidation and delight,” adding with laughter “my goal is to collect in such a way that no major exhibition could be done in the United States without borrowing from us!”

Letvin speculates, “my suspicion is that Parkhurst and Stechow thought ‘maybe we can’t get a Van Eyck right now, but this is a rare work that represents an important development in oil painting.’

I’d imagine he was also pretty excited to acquire a painting that could speak to the relationship between Spain and the rest of Europe.”

The painting is notable as an artifact in the development of arts, reflective of a rare oil style predating the Renaissance. As a Dutch artist’s work being copied in Spain, it speaks to a Europe of lively artistic dialogue across boundaries. Yet while visually impeccably similar, there are some differences, laden with suggestive symbolism. Notably, the copy in the Allen has real Hebrew writing. These lines are taken from the Hebrew Bible and liturgy, but verses that from a Christian interpretation predict Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. It brings up questions of not only who but what was the intention of this painting.

By the time Velasco painted his copy, all practicing Jews had been expelled from Spain for decades. Conversos, however—Jewish converts to Christianity—abounded, as Jews in pre-expulsion Spain constituted the largest Jewish population on earth at the time.There

The Role of Jazz in Present Day Spiritual Trends Levi Dayan Editor in Chief America is at a spiritual crossroads, in multiple senses of the word. While the nation is more divided than ever, a rare trend that goes across partisan lines is the ongoing secularization of America. A Pew research study from 2019 found the percentage of Americans identifying as Christian declining at a rapid pace, while the percentage of Americans with no religious affiliation has grown steadily. The trend holds steady across divides in race, gender, region, education, and, perhaps most shockingly, political affiliations, and though the decline is not as dramatic amongst republicans as it is with democrats, it’s still there. But a crossroads still splits both ways. While younger Americans in particular are a driving factor in America’s sudden secularization, many younger Americans have also embraced spirituality—albeit in forms greatly differing from Christian orthodoxy.

The most noticeable example of this would be the resurgence of astrology.

While the discourse surrounding Astrology is still often relegated to desperate attempts at flirting that call to mind throwaway jokes from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, no amount of snark can change the fact that astrology has definitely become a legitimate spiritual practice for a lot of people. But Astrology is only one piece of a larger trend towards mysticism and esoterica, one I’ve seen reflected in approaches to Kabbalah, Tarot, and even Catholicism. I’ve seen multiple people attempt to hypothesize what is driving these trends, but to me, the answer is pretty clear: the world is fucked, on an existentially unprecedented level, and spirituality can provide answers to the difficult moral and philosophical questions that scientists and academics are largely incapable of grasping. In some ways, the QAnon cult is also a reflection of this; an ostensibly religious movement driven by a feeling of hopelessness towards a rapidly changing world that believers feel no control over. The similarities end there—even the most obnoxious astrologers I’ve met, at the very least, are not racist antisemitic extremists who believe in satanic pedophile cults—but they’re nonetheless thought-provoking.

For me, it’s impossible to think of any of these trends of spirituality as existing in a vacuum. I immediately think of the 60s and 70s, when white hippies and beatniks gravitated towards astrology, tarot, and most

By Priya Banerjee

notably (and, more often than not, most cringe-provoking) Eastern religion. Just as younger Americans today feel alienated by Christian institutions that continue to prothletize against abortion and homosexuality while actual spiritual and existensial crises such as climate change, fascism and the collapse of institutions are brushed to the side, Americans in previous eras saw a generation of square, law-abiding churchgoers pushing for war in Vietnam while aiding and abetting racism in the US. The piqued interest in Eastern religion was owed to a number of specific events that coincided around this time, but disillusionment with Western religious traditions—and, perhaps, the entire material world—was undeniably a major factor.

For Americans who had associated religion with institutions pushing specific rules, and claiming that damnation awaited those who did not abide—while simultaneously ignoring the damnation that had already arrived—the ideals of Eastern religion, particularly meditation, introspection, focusing on the present, and thinking beyond the material world—were a welcome departure. However, the very term “ideals of Eastern religion” is a gross oversimplification of several religions, each with their own complications and problems. This essentialization is at the heart of how fragments of this “moment” that Eastern religion had in the 60s and 70s was able to survive the Reagan era while radical politics and counterculture did not. Meditation, yoga, and mindfulness could be decontextualized, repackaged, and employed in even the dullest corporate environments, just as long as it was separated from any radical context; meanwhile, Black people were mass incarcerated and queer people were left to die. Mindfulness continues to be mass-marketed as it metastasizes into different forms, and this marketing has played a major role in shaping present-day spiritual trends.

This speaks to how, though there are clear similarities between these spiritual trends, with half a century’s distance between now and then the present moment is something of an inverse of moments past.

The spiritual movements of the 60s and 70s were (justifiably or not) perceived as one aspect of what is labelled as “the counterculture,” and the backlash to the counterculture (and the civil rights movement, of course) was the backbone of Nixon and Reagan’s appeal to the public.

Fifty-something years later, the world continues to feel the consequences of Reagan, who once opined that trees cause more pollution than automobiles, while mysticism

in practically every form has already been mass-marketed to the fullest extent. In short, younger people today crave spirituality not because of dramatic upheaval, but rather because the long-festering consequences of Reaganism, white supremacy and fascism are now infesting every aspect of human life.

For me, personally, music has long been a way of understanding culture and politics in ways that traditional education cannot always provide, whether it be Fela Kuti weaving scathing critiques of colonialism into his extended grooves, or Johnny Cash playing concerts in prisons singing about the uselessness of incarceration and the dignity of those abandoned by society.. Naturally, music has also provided a lens through which I can understand present-day religious trends, seen in everything from the New Age revival driven by indie labels such as Leaving Records, to borderline youth pastors such as Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper, and in the lyrics of Megan Thee Stallion, and Kehlani, which frequently reference astrology. The most curious spiritual trend in music, for me, has been the renewal of interest in “spiritual jazz.”

Like practically every form of music categorization , spiritual jazz is a weird, somewhat questionable term. Angel Bat Dawid, a composer and improviser at the center of contemporary jazz, perfectly summarized this in an interview she gave with the website Reverb, stating “I’ve always been a spiritual musician. My music has never not been connected to my spiritual identity— that’s Black music in general. I always have issues when people say ‘spiritual jazz.’ That term kind of bothers me—jazz is spiritual. There’s no such thing as nonspiritual Black music. Even our crazy music is spirited, there’s no Black music that isn’t tied to spirituality.” I’d say the ornate space-age orchestral freakouts led by Sun Ra, the ecstatic classical marches of Albert Ayler, and the communal improvisations of Don Cherry’s Organic Music Theatre defy any basic comparisons between one another, and those are three of the musicians who are most associated with the term. For the purpose of this article, I’d think of spiritual jazz less along the lines of any kind of sound or religious affiliation, but rather as a shared musical consciousness, one that views music and spirituality in a unitarian sense, where every different perception and expression is connected by its ecstatic capability.

I’m, in someways, reluctant to look at this renewal of interest (and considering the terminology for “spiritual jazz” seems to be pretty recent, renewal of interest might not be the right word) through the lens of the renewal of interest in astrology and mysticism. Those are things I largely associate with millennials and Gen Z, whereas spiritual jazz, like a lot of jazz music, I associate with dads. But among the people I meet who are around my age who like jazz, musicians like Alice Coltrane, Sun Ra, and Pharaoh Sanders often come up as favorites as often as Miles or Trane. Much of the most exciting jazz music coming out today exists in this lineage, particularly from players such as Moses Boyd, Nubya Garcia, Shabaka Hutchings, Yazz Ahmed, and, perhaps the most well-known player today, Kamasi Washington. Washington’s two most recent albums, which collectively amount

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Jazz and Spirituality continued

to five discs worth of material, have received acclaim and exposure. He’s also crossed over to hip-hop fans for his playing on Kendrick Lamar’s “To Pimp A Butterfly” and for his numerous collaborations with Flying Lotus (also Alice Coltrane’s grandnephew) and Thundercat. Beyond the niche world of contemporary improvised music, the “spiritual jazz” sound is more influential on popular music than ever before. The 2016 stage set of Solange, one of the most prominent artistsof the moment, was heavily influenced by Sun Ra and the Arkestra, and when a twitter user suggested a collaboration between Solange and the Arkestra, she responded “This would bring me THE most divine joy!” Pharoah Sanders, one of the most legendary musicians in this lineage, recently collaborated with UK electronic artist Floating Points on his first album is nearly twenty years, which was released to near-universal acclaim (including by me, in a review I wrote for The Grape when it first came out).

And, like so much contemporary music, the center is John Coltrane.

Coltrane’s musical arc is as legendary as that of The Beatles, and as storied as Robert Johnson at the crossroads. Coltrane kicked a nearly ten-year addiction to heroin and alcohol right around the time he first began recording sessions as a bandleader, and in the remaining decade of his life reinvented music several times over. Over the course of this ten-year odyssey, Coltrane’s music and spirituality were wholly intertwined. His masterpiece “A Love Supreme” is essentially a religious text, a tone poem of Coltrane’s own prayer. In the liner notes, he alludes to his past addictions and credits God in overcoming them: During the year 1957, I experienced, by the grace of God, a spiritual awakening which was to lead me to a richer, fuller, more productive life. At that time, in gratitude, I humbly asked to be given the means and privilege to make others happy through music. I feel this has been granted through His grace. ALL PRAISE TO GOD. As time and events moved on; a period of irresolution did prevail. I entered into a phase which was contradictory for the pledge and away from the esteemed path; but thankfully now and again through the unerring and merciful hand of God, I do perceive and have been duly re-informed of His OMNIPOTENCE, and of our need for, and dependence on Him. At this time I would like to tell you that NO MATTER WHAT...

IT IS WITH GOD. HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL. HIS WAY IS IN LOVE, THROUGH WHICH WE ALL ARE. IT IS TRULY-A LOVE SUPREME-.

This album is a humble offering to Him. An attempt to say “THANK YOU GOD” through our work, even as we do in our hearts and with our tongues. May He help and strengthen all men in every good endeavor.

Coltrane notably doesn’t name any one god in these notes, reflecting his universalist beliefs. In his book The Dawn of Indian Music in the West, musician and author Peter Lavezzoli wrote of Coltrane’s interest in Paramahansa Yogananda, stating “Yogananda believed that both Eastern and Western spiritual paths were efficacious, and wrote of the similarities between Krishna and Christ. This openness to different traditions resonated with Coltrane, who studied the Qur’an, the Bible, Kabbalah, and astrology with equal sincerity.” This is reflected in his music, which incorporated influences from Indian musicians such as Ravi Shankar—years

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before his association with The Beatles, and long before Indian instrumentation became trendy within popular music. But the full extent of Coltrane’s universalist musical vision would not be fulfilled in his lifetime.

Alice Coltrane had a spiritual epiphany that, like John, was rooted in trauma—specifically the sudden and tragic loss of her husband. In her memoir Monument Eternal, she recounted a period, from around 1968 to 1970, of dramatic weight loss, hallucinations, and overwhelming spiritual visions that left her debilitated.

Coltrane referred to this experience as tapas, which within the context of Hinduism refers to a period of spiritual cleansing. Under the guidance of Swami Satchidananda—whose name inspired her all-time classic album “Journey In Satchidananda”—Coltrane became devoted to Hinduism and opened her own ashram. Her music is, in my eyes, the quintessential example of the universal consciousness (also the name of one of her classic albums) that is a throughline for this music, in its many forms. Coltrane’s music is remembered in part for the influence of Indian music—the intro of “Journey in Satchidananda,” with its tambura drone and meditative bassline, is absolutely legendary—but her music from this time also incorporated influences from Islamic modal music, R&B, Gospel, Blues, and Romanticism. Her son Ravi spoke of Stravinsky’s “Firebird Suite” (which Coltrane recorded her own version of) being played frequently in his childhood, and her daughter Miki recalled the Coltranes having a koto and bagpipes around the house. Indeed, more than perhaps any other musician, Alice Coltrane defied descriptions such as “spiritual jazz,” or even jazz in general. Just as John Coltrane gave his music as an offering to God while also humbly asking for the ability to bring pleasure to others, Alice Coltrane’s music was a full expression of her body and soul, a wish to be connected with God and to make that spiritual connection attainable to others.

As singular as the Coltranes’ genius may be, they too did not exist in a vacuum. The 60s and 70s were undeniably a cultural revolution led by Black people, even as the state continued to show its fangs. At the heart of this cultural revolution was a spiritual revolution, one that, to me, seems to be relegated to the sidelines. Sun Ra, one of the most influential visionaries of his century, was shaped by this revolution, and became a revolutionary figure himself. He moved to Chicago from the Deep South at the onset of this period of social change, and developed his visionary outlook in part from the influence of street preachers and pamphleteers. His records, hand-made with artwork possibly drawn by Ra himself, and his own pamphlets collecting his poetry, reflect these influences. Sun Ra was, in some ways, the catalyst for a musical movement inspired by the independent nature of his art. While the artists I’ve mentioned are tremendous formative influences for this movement, the backbone of the “spiritual jazz” sound is made up of several independent labels that cropped up in the 70s, such as Strata East, Black Jazz, and Tribe Records. Independent record labels always existed, but prior to the 70s and 80s, the vast majority of labels were releasing music in the interest of making money. Punk rock is often thought of as the time when independent music became a culture in and of itself, but jazz is more deserving of that distinction. It would be impossible to think of spiritual jazz as a subgenre of jazz rather than a (pretty questionable) description for certain artists: this is music that flourished

in creative environments that allowed direct connections between the artists and their audience But, while artists like Alice Coltrane and Don Cherry are given much-deserved recognition, the greater context for this music is not. I fear many listeners do treat this music as existing in a vacuum, a mere remnant of an alien time and place. This could be because of Spotify, and the damage algorithms have done to music consumption, or it could be an inherent factor of discovering older music from a different time period. It makes sense that people associate music with where, when, and how they listen to it rather than when it was released, especially if that was before they were born. Regardless, even as individual music is recognized, the larger movements in Black art and spirituality are overlooked. This is part of a greater pattern of the Black experience being retrospectively separated from what Angel Bat Dawid referred to as its inherent spirituality. Rather, it is talked about as if it is exclusively entrenched in trauma and violence.

Perhaps this is best typified by the fact that Malcolm X, whose life journey was shaped by religious experiences and whose pilgrimage to Mecca was a pivotal moment in a lifelong search for peace—for himself and for the world—is still remembered by far too many as the more militant counterpart to Martin Luther King. Furthermore, the Nation of Islam is still referred to by some as simply the “Black Muslims,” something considered a grotesque generalization going back to X’s own autobiography. Black Muslims have existed in America as long as Black people had been forcibly brought to America, but Black spirituality is only ever recognized in conjunction with political struggle and militancy, and never as an element of day-to-day life. Within the public discourse, any practice of indigenous African religious traditions is bundled together as a part of a cultural trend, or mocked and disregarded entirely. And I’ve never heard any dialogue about the interactions between Black spirituality and East and South Asian religion. Herbie Hancock, Wayne Shorter, and Bennie Maupin all practice Buddhism; Don Cherry and Alice Coltrane both practiced Hinduism; Sonny Rollins practices Yoga, and Joseph Jarman of the Art Ensemble of Chicago was a Jodo Shinsu priest. These artists are certainly not lightweights, and yet for many, to the extent that Buddhism and Hinduism exists in America, it exists within the realm of white hippies and new age storefronts.

This is not to say religion is not, or should not, be political. When wars have been fought over religion since the beginning of religion itself, of course it’s political. But when Black music is decontextualized from movements and traditions, and from the experiences of Black people, the sociopolitical power of both music and religion is diminished. This is what makes this music continue to be so relevant and valuable, and why it continues to be “rediscovered” again and again over so many decades. Jazz music is a form of creative, and accessible, improvised music where spiritual and political consciousness exist hand in hand. Subsequently, the music provides a framework for the abolition of borders, and the fusion of different cultural traditions, in a form that does not diminish or appropriate said cultural traditions.

In the midst of a spiritual trend that was being capitalized and whitewashed from the very beginning, this music is more valuable than ever.

Fountains of Symbolism continued were particularly large communities in cities like Toledo, to the way that art can lend politics legitimacy. Letvin whose bishop commissioned the copy. The Jews who understands the importance of having these discussions had converted would be—by fear or force—attending the in an art historical context as well, and has faced these church where it was displayed. decisions in curating AMAM’s works. “This is probably Letvin illustrated how this iconography is our most challenging Renaissance painting to talk about. grounded in a long tradition of Christian art against Jews, Today we understand both its overall message and its and what the difference may suggest. “A common trope representation of Jewish people as antisemitic. But the during this time is that Jews are blinded by an only physi- visual and theological arguments that it makes are very cal literal understanding of the Old Testament rather complex, and it’s difficult to concisely explain these, than a spiritual understanding.” She says. “In the Prado as well as the social and religious context in which the painting this fake Hebrew that’s not even legible enacts painting was made, in a 100 word label -- this could be that process for the viewer. Whereas in the Velasco paint- the subject of an essay or an article.” ing, the person who commissioned it was clearly learned.

Many questions remain unanswered: why was Probably, he understood Hebrew and those passages as such an exact copy made 150 years later in a different related to the Eucharist.” political setting? Why and how would a Christian patron As Hebrew was not widely spoken even among put Hebrew in the painting? What was the painting coclergy, and (practicing) Jews were not allowed in artist py’s intended setting and message? Understanding these guilds, there is a chance that a Jewish convert to Christiwould not only paint a fuller picture (pun intended) anity was part of the workshop creating it. The Christian about The Fountain, but would enhance a scholarly unuse of original Hebrew could also be a desire to hurt the derstanding of Spain and its political or artistic climate Jews in the audience seeing their holy words defamed. throughout the centuries.

It demonstrates an evangelical zeal to convince Jews usEven after all this time and it’s quaint and twisting their own scriptures, and a Christian chauvinism to ing journey, I find this one painting from centuries ago “save” Jews from damnation by converting them. While and miles away touches on issues of increased relevance credible, I personally find this interpretation particularly and urgency to us today — when images are not just painful, both in theory and seeing it visually expressed so ubiquitous but reproducible, editable, visual representaexplicitly here and elsewhere, coupled with the fact that tions of reality, and have the power of mass influence. the Prado’s plaque seems to present the image as relative Images, like this one, can be used to justify an oppressive truth, absent of any acknowledgement of the violence it status quo — or like Picasso’s Guernica, just down the validated in its time. hall from The Fountain in Madrid, they can be used to In 2019, visiting lecturer Dr. Manuel Parada uplift the downtrodden and unite against adversity. TyLópez spoke at Oberlin about the painting. He suggested ing all these threads together is the reminder that now as that it was, in fact, a relatively positive message for Jews much as ever, of the necessity to be critical consumers of as individuals. The Oberlin Review’s coverage summaart. rized his argument, writing: “In the politi“Today, when I want to acquire a work of art for the museum, cal context of 15th-cenI have to write a scholarly memo about the reasons why we tury Spain, antisemitism was a given, while should be acquiring it. This gets added to our curatorial file the fate of people who so future researchers understand our reasoning,” Letvin, were Jewish was not.

It was not a question of who oversees the Allen’s acquisitions today, told me. “That whether one was prowasn’t the case in the 1950s, so while we often have correor anti-Jewish, but spondence about an acquisition, we don’t always have a full instead whether one was in favor of forcibly explanation for why a work was acquired.” converting versus murdering all of the Jews.”

This claim, though, is uncommon.

What may be difficult to grasp for modern day readers is the poignancy of the work’s visual argument.

The imagery of different Christians—Pope, emperor, king, bishop, cardinal, aristocrat—as well as of Jews, was clear to a viewer when the work was made, as was the message to be inferred. Many scholars draw a direct line from the church or crown sponsored attacks against Jews in Spain to the state-orchestrated genocide against all European Jewry four centuries later. This is coupled with the fact that Spain today, although it has made some performative gestures to rectify its past, still honors the architects of the inquisition’s violence as national heroes.

By Sam Merrick That reckoning over a country’s past extends

Childhood and Memory in the Age of YouTube Teagan Hughes Staff Writer When I was in elementary school, I made sketches and music videos with my friends to upload to YouTube. We used toys as stand-ins for ourselves, bobbing their heads in time with our words. Comedy was our wheelhouse, but we began our foray into drama later in our careers, making little pastiches of the high school dramas we’d seen by that point in our lives.

Once I stopped making these videos, I forgot about them for a while. I suddenly remembered a few years later, prompting me to immediately private them.

I couldn’t bring myself to delete them forever—it was my friends and I, and we were having fun—but I couldn’t bear to keep them public. I privated all fifty-or-so videos before logging out of the channel, assured that I would be able to log back in to view all my videos privately whenever I wanted to reminisce with friends (i.e. laugh at our poor narrative and editing skills). I made it a point not to delete the entire channel; I remember considering it, but rejecting the idea. I knew I would want to watch the videos later in life, so I left the channel up. However, when I attempted to log back into the channel last year, I was informed that it no longer exists.

I can get into the Gmail account associated with the YouTube channel just fine, but Google tells me that the channel itself does not exist. Your Gmail account and your YouTube channel are two separate entities in Google’s eyes, so just because the Gmail account is still accessible doesn’t mean the channel is. It doesn’t pop up in YouTube search results, and the profile picture and channel name are gone from my Gmail account, a deletion I have no memory of making or even intending to make. My watch history and subscriptions from when I was using my channel are still intact, and I can still find old emails in my Gmail account with YouTube notifications from the channel. However, I’ve tried both Google’s Channel Switcher function and Gaia Link, and neither of them return any results.

People always say that everything you put online lasts forever, but I’ve encountered a liminal space in which that rule no longer holds true. My childhood memories, the by-products of playdates and sleepovers with old friends, have been sucked into a black hole.

These videos were a form of self-expression that, while decidedly silly and largely inconsequential, were a substantial part of my journey to self-discovery and simply very important to me at the time. Now, a decade later, they’ve vanished without a trace. These videos are not accessible to me in any way, shape, or form. It’s not like when you lose something tangible, but it still exists out in the world somewhere—they’re just gone. They were and now they’re not.

The disappearance of my childhood mementos serves as a microcosm of twin phenomena that are becoming troublingly ubiquitous: memory made intangi-

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Youtube continued ble, and childhood made public. Not to say that memory is not by nature intangible, because it is; but there is a striking evolution in childhood mementos and the external expression of memory that can be traced over the past several decades. Kids growing up in the 90s and into the turn of the millennium had their childhoods recorded on camcorder and onto tapes and DVDs, creating an external, physical expression of an internal, abstract memory. Many people were still printing out photos and compiling albums, creating concrete and chronological records of childhood. Art and writing by kids was something tangible, something that you could keep, examine, and hold in your hands.

The evolution happens here: as we, of this generation, reached our pre-teen and adolescent years, memory migrated online. Social media emerged as a recordkeeping tool, and photos, videos, and art became increasingly stored virtually, existing only as a computer file or somewhere in the nebulous “cloud.” This isn’t an inherently bad transition; it’s all extremely convenient and clutter-reducing, and I am of course always impressed by—if apprehensive of—technological advancement. However, when I look back on my later elementary school years, I find myself wishing I had DVDs of these videos I made with my friends or even written copies of our “scripts” (if only we’d thought to make proofs of concept). At least if I’d scratched up a DVD or torn

some notebook paper, I’d know exactly why I could no longer have it. These intangible methods of recordkeeping are extremely volatile and difficult to grasp, making us reliant on the corporations (oftentimes, tech giants) that provide us the storage and the servers to keep our memories around. Increasingly frequently, we are forced to navigate labyrinths of impenetrable restrictions, links, and logins, just to get to our own stuff.

Many of the more intangible methods of memory storage come with higher publicity than DVDs or photo prints. YouTube, though it was largely conceptualized as entertainment, has been used for over a decade and a half now to document and, in many cases, monetize childhood. I’m not talking about families that innocuously upload their home movies to YouTube to share with Grandma (although it’s fascinating and perhaps a little insidious that YouTube is now the easiest way to do so). As YouTube gained prominence, more and more kids and teenagers began creating content specifically for YouTube. Many of YouTube’s first real “celebrities” were kids just being kids (i.e. making silly skits and telling silly stories). YouTube quickly became extremely popular with an extremely young demographic, which had the effect of exposing said young demographic to Google’s (and other tech companies’ and websites’) harmful data harvesting and data mining practices, along with an increasingly dangerous algorithm designed to maximize watchtime at all costs. These issues have reached new heights in the past few years due to an influx of deeply damaging “children’s content” on YouTube and the manufactured nature of kids’ and family You-

Tube channels, often with parental involvement, creating a precarious environment that I don’t have the space to demonstrate the full extent of here.

Ultimately, my friends and I, along with every other kid making skits in their rooms, were just being kids and having fun, and in trying to make and share our silly little videos, we were thrust into a rapidly shifting world that we couldn’t understand and can no longer reach.

I wish now that I could access my old videos. I wish I could watch them to remember my first friendships. I wish I could watch them so I could know what I thought constituted “comedy” back then. I want to evaluate my former video editing skills, and I want to figure out how I used to structure fictional narratives. My old videos were essentially a window into my young mind that has totally vaporized, most likely permanently.

I don’t blame my young self (nor anyone else who did as I did) for choosing such a volatile method of self-expression and documentation (or, rather, a volatile method of storing such things outside of myself). Even YouTube didn’t know what a monstrosity it would become at that point—how could I have? I only wish I’d kept my creations to myself, for myself. I always thought that I would have my videos forever, but a decade-plus later, I find myself unable to navigate Google’s arcane recovery labyrinth, without the window into my childhood I thought I would always have. (I guess I’ll just get really into DVDs from now on.)

Taking a Look at the WOBC Walls Wyatt Camery Features Editor I’m on a quest. I’m going to find the most gut-busting, most eye-popping, most eye-roll inducing, most eyebrow raising, most philosophical conversation-sparking wall scratchings and writings on Oberlin’s campus. Hmm, that actually sounds like a lofty task. Well, I can’t promise that I will scour every inch of Oberlin’s campus, exploring the nooks and crannies of every carrel, bathroom stall, and wall, seeking out student vandal’s finest works, but I encourage you to keep an out yourself, and please let me know if you find anything you think I should write about.

Tell your friends to do the same and then have them tell their friends, etc., sort of like a pyramid scheme. Speaking of pyramids, check out this drawing on the wall of the WOBC studio.

The pyramid is more of a triangle made of other triangles, but I had to squeeze in another joke. The triangle of triangles is surrounded by the kind of flower you draw in your notebook during an uninspiring lecture, the slogans “big tiddies run the world” and “Johnson and Johnson

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by Sam Blieden

WOBC Walls continued / more like Jiont Jpenis,” and labeled drawings of Kermit and Miss Piggy that are accurate enough that they probably didn’t need to be labeled.

This week I’m covering the Rosetta Stone that is the walls of WOBC. These teal walls are adorned with the scrawlings of many DJs, and they were probably done by people you know. I have been a WOBC DJ since the Fall 2019, although I went into the studio with my friend a couple times in Spring 2019. Going way back to the information session I attended in the early days of my first year in the Fall of 2018, I was immediately charmed and impressed by the aesthetic of WOBC. An overwhelming amount of music - physical music - and stickers lined the walls of the main room at WOBC. This knocked me out. As I’ve become a regular in the rooms of WOBC, able to take in the scenery as my radio show transpires, I have come to appreciate the beauty of the inner sanctum of WOBC, the booth.

Recently, I’ve noticed an influx of messages and artwork, but the walls have always heavily featured what are

likely late-night musings. According to Sam Blieden, Staff Writer for the Grape and WOBC DJ since Fall 2018, nearly all of the drawings are from only the past three years. I confirmed this by scouring the Internet: pictures on Oberlin’s Flickr of a WOBC Open House on May 25, 2019 and one from WOBC’s Twitter (which you should follow) posted on March 24, 2019 show mostly clean walls.

Here’s a fun fact: The letters “WOBC” are the station’s call sign because OBerlin College and a W for Wyatt. Neat! No, it’s actually because we’re east of the Mississippi River.

And how about this: the original call sign was KOCN. Now that you’re acquainted with WOBC and my personal history there, let’s dive in. The topics of the drawings are what you might expect from Obies. Many of the messages are political, with the anarchist encircled-“A” popping up frequently along with the slogans “Black Lives Matter” and “ACAB.” Many are sexual. Some are supportive. Some are in Hebrew (“Tupac is alive,” for example). Or Greek. Or German. Or Yiddish (“Fuck the police”). Or bi-

Photos by Wyatt Camery

nary. Some are even about WOBC or radio. Heck, even Sam has left her mark.

Some of them creatively take advantage of their environment.

People have marked their height or written “must be this tall to ride” on door frames. There’s also a big a hole in the wall that people repurposed as space for a sassy art installation.

The wooden tables atop which sit all of the actual radio and music equipment has been carved into. One of my favorites is the one that says “Life is too short to not just say ‘fuck it’ and live authentically.” This message has always comforted me when I didn’t feel totally comfortable speaking on air. Public speaking isn’t easy, even over the airwaves.

I’m curious what these drawings say about WOBC DJ’s and the student body as a whole. My favorite element of drawing on the shared wall space is the interactivity of many of the doodles. Some explicitly invite replies, but others that could have stood alone have turned into conversations. The range of styles and types of messages, from positive to negative, sexual to political and back

again, show a breadth of individuality. Yet, these unique voices, or pens, come together to create a wonderful living, breathing tapestry in the radio station walls. It is indeed alive as, over the course of writing this article (~1 week), more messages popped up. Returning to a fragmented school year mid-pandemic, I’ve heard many conversations about institutional memory and the fear of vanishing traditions. (Oh no! I’m having another cheesy coming-outof-a-pandemic moment!) These walls represent a generation of Oberlin, our generation in fact, and it could easily be erased with the wave of a paint brush. The wall in the basement of Fairkid outside Umami boasts a great collection of quotes from graduating seniors who had been in the co-op all four years, some of which date back to the late ‘90s. If you fear disappearing traditions, look around at the new ones being born. I don’t anticipate any destruction to either set of walls, but whether or not you’ve left your mark on the WOBC walls or desks, or even if you’ve never been to WOBC at all, this is one legacy our generation of Obies is leaving.

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Crocs, Prairie Dresses, and “Wife-Pleasers”: What are Obies Wearing This Summer? Birkenstocks around campus, which seem Daisy Vollen Staff Writer

As the summer semester comes to an end, we are reflecting on campus culture over the past few months, namely the fashion.

While there have always been students who stick around Oberlin in the summer, 2021 saw an unprecedented increase in these numbers with the college operating normally—or as normally as it could with less than half of the student body and the resurgence of a mask mandate beginning in August. So how did our peers handle this change? How did our wardrobes adapt to the sticky summer heat in Northeast Ohio? I sat down with a few students to hear their thoughts.

Firm believers of wearing pants and a short sleeve collared shirt whenever possible, Perry Mayo and Shaina LinChung’s wardrobes haven’t shifted much for the summer. Mayo admits that they have begrudgingly been wearing more shorts lately as they are not used to the extreme seasons in Ohio. Lin-Chung’s biggest change has been in the footwear department. After months of eyeing Tevas online, Lin-Chung finally purchased a pair for the summer and has been enjoying wearing socks and sandals since they are one of the lucky few who can pull off the look. Comfort is a priority for both

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students, but another favorite fashion choice? An oversized button down with a fun pattern on top paired with solid bottoms. Lin-Chung often reaches for stripes and Hawaiian shirts, while their friend seeks out pieces with a little humor. Mayo explains their love for ironic pieces: “like this top. I hate golf… I like clothes that make me laugh, so like lots of shirts from trucking companies and things that don’t make sense for a small queer kid from LA to wear.” The pair agrees that 90s and early 2000s trends still dominate campus, but they have specifically seen lots of Crocs, slip dresses, and mullets or shaved heads. Lin-Chung personally doesn’t care for the early 2000s aesthetic, but thinks “it’s very Oberlin to warp things that are kind of ugly into things that are fashionable.”

Hailing from the Bay Area, Luce Miyar-Mullan has had to adjust to a drastically different climate for her first summer in Ohio. No matter how she feels she knows that dressing for the heat has to be a top priority. Even if it is gray and raining—the perfect time to layer up back home—they still reach for a pair of shorts when getting ready for the day.

Miyar-Mullan defines their summer style as eclectic first and foremost, but playing with gender presentation has brought a fun approach to their outfits as well.

She has enjoyed dressing hyper-feminine one day and hyper-masculine the next, or even combining the aesthetics like when she contrasts baggy clothes with a full face of makeup. The lush fields nearby have also influenced their summer attire as she has enjoyed leaning into the midwestern aesthetics by wearing prairie dresses like the one we caught them in. We’re excited to see how Miyar-Mullan and other Obies continue to embrace the “country vibes” and tweak them for the fall when we return to campus in October.

Avery Coreschi and Justin Lee agree that this summer has been the season to look sexy in a casual and comfortable way. They have been surprised by the lack of traditional leather

to have been replaced by Crocs and other sandals made of elastic materials. Lee adds, “a lot of heads are wearing Reeboks.”

Coreschi has remained pretty consistent with his wardrobe this semester compared to prior years, but Lee’s style has evolved from summers of the past. While he used to dress in more athletic clothing, he has started donning more jewelry and embracing his “emo bad boy” era.

Local fashionista Sam Ervolino has relied on the ABCs for their attire this semester: airy, bright, and casual. Past summers have been defined by the romance of summer dresses, but these are saved for special occasions now—no longer a day-to-day staple.

Instead, Sam is evolving from the cutesy girl-next-door to the hottie you spot at the gym.

While the jock aesthetic is not new to Ervolino, they have fully embraced athleisure as their go-to look in a way they have never had before. And they aren’t the

only one whose style has shifted in this direction! Basketball shorts are one of top trends that Ervolino has spotted this semester. Other stand-outs of student fashion lately? Innerwear as outerwear. Wearing lingerie around campus is another trend that has been around Oberlin for a while, but Ervolino has seen its popularity increase even more in the summer heat. Those ribbed white sleeveless undershirts— perhaps being rebranded as “wife pleasers”—have also been spotted everywhere on all types of people. Finally, Ervolino has spotted many people sporting bikini tops in their everyday lives, but what else would you expect in this weather with Chance Creek so close by? The last one may not fit as cleanly into the “innerwear” category that Ervolino mentions, but the sentiment is there. Will the popularity of these styles fade as the temperature cools down next semester? Will they be adjusted and carried into the new season? Only time will tell.

Photos by Daisy Vollen

Oberlin Not Equipped to Handle Student Mental Health Needs in the Summer Semester Kira Mesch Staff Writer

To occupy me when I walk from my dorm to Decafe and back again, which is all I do these days, I have been listening to an audiobook about a woman who tries to fall asleep for an entire year. At this point in the semester, that is starting to sound like a really good idea.

I will be the first to admit that I am exhausted.

Right now, I feel like I have been working to no end. All I do is eat my Decafe celery and peanut butter, avoid my statistics readings, nurse my Ebay addiction where I add things to my watchlist but do not buy them, and stay up late and skip classes then feel guilty about it because of how much money it costs to go here. I feel like I am spiraling into a kind of low-level burnout and despondency.

All I need is a break.

Before starting the summer semester, I had spent an entire year of my life only seeing people at work and at home. Even when I was on campus in the fall, I oscillated mostly between my North Hall single room and Stevenson Dining Hall. When I moved into an apartment in the spring, I spent my time indoors: I cooked, I learned to knit, I watched old ABC Family shows with my roommates. I walked to work and then, after work, I walked home again.

When I got to campus for the summer semester, everyone was saying things were back to normal. Before May, I had forgotten about parties (along with all other forms of leisure that weren’t television or knitting), and the fact that when you go to parties, you have to walk about two miles in a night to get to one that hasn’t been shut down yet.

This is all to say: I got to campus this summer and was absolutely and completely exhausted by everything that seemed to be happening here all the time. Not just mentally, but physically. My body literally was not used to walking so much or seeing so many people. I spent the first month here mostly just in class or nap-

ping.

Two weeks into this semester, I made a therapy appointment with the counseling center — then, once my scheduled appointment approached, I was so tired from doing work that I slept through it. Last week, in an attempt to get another therapy appointment, I tried four separate times to contact the counseling center before I was able to reach someone who could schedule me.

When trying to get a counseling appointment in August, I called twice in two days and left a message once. I got my appointment not on the phone, but by going in person three different times. Two days after my second call, I went twice in one day to the counseling center, and nobody was at the desk. The third time I went, four days later, there was no office assistant, but rather a counselor at the desk serving as one. The closest appointment I could get was two weeks out.

At times, it seems like the difficulty of coping with life on campus is my own fault. In a real way, it was my fault that I slept through the counseling appointment that I made when I got here, and it’s my fault when I skip class. A part of me wonders if the fact that I’ve been wearing myself without knowing what I’m working towards just means that I’m not actually good at doing work.

Part of this feeling is because Oberlin wants us to think everything is fine. And not just fine, but great!

Oberlin students aren’t drowning in work! We aren’t afraid of the very real pandemic that’s still happening!

All this in their emails and yet, Oberlin students have emerged from isolation and indoor mask mandates only to regress back into it, and their very real anxiety is being denied by college messaging.

I wish the counseling center had better support staff. I wish they had an all-campus email chain with programs, or social media, or at least someone who would respond to their phone messages. If the college has the resources to dig up half of this campus, I would assume that they have the money to make their mental health resources more robust in the middle of an ongoing

pandemic. At the very least, I wish we got a break. One full week of no classes. Mindfulness resources like MindSpa are well and good, but they do not work on the level of the institution to uncouple students’ understanding of their productivity from their self worth. The absence of a break, or really any changes that achieve this in the summer semester is a profound failure on the part of Oberlin.

Oberlin as a unit should not be responsible for solving the pandemic, or capitalism’s mindsets of productivity, or even my depression. But it does have the capacity to make life easier for its students. I hope Oberlin moves from this semester to provide well-staffed, comprehensive counseling and resources for students, and provides more leniency within its workload and expectations.

By Eva Sturm-Gross

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Tokyo 2020: We Deserve Slack, So Why Don’t Our Champions?

Fionna Farrell Staff Writer It is hard to perform at our best when we are functioning at our worst. The average American living in 2021 knows this as well as any Olympic athlete does. And yet, when the latter group suffers, they bring shame to an entire country. The rest of us are mostly concerned with saving face in front of our friends.

Mental health struggle is nothing new to the Olympics. Perhaps only the conversation surrounding it is. It is estimated that up to 35% of Olympic athletes grapple with mental disorders at some point in their careers, which can entail anything from substance abuse and burnout to more generalized depression and anxiety.

There are various triggers to these sorts of disorders, many of which are uniquely pertinent to the Olympain’s incredibly demanding lifestyle. These can include poor sleep, select training pressures, or premature retirement due to injury. For many, just the title of “Olympian” at all can be a serious source of distress and dread. What happens when the Games are over? What is there to aim for when you’ve already won the gold?

More golds, maybe. Some of the highestachieving Olympians out there have also been the ones most candid about their struggles. For example, Michael Phelps--who has won 23 gold medals--has been a long time sufferer of depression and suicidal ideation. In 2016, after retiring from swimming, he said “I thought of myself as ‘just a swimmer.’ Not a human being.”

Do we?

2021 has forced us to face this question headon. Do we really consider our athletes as human? Do we, and the Olympic infrastructure at large, grant them the respect and empathy that they so deeply deserve? Or are our Olympic athletes a vessel of escapist exploitation--do we glimpse in them our own last moments of reverie?

This is an impossibly complex question to answer, but we can start by examining the recent cases of Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka. As many are well aware, Biles is a 24-year-old world-class gymnast, decorated with seven Olympic medals and officially tied with Larisa Latynina as the most decorated gymnast of all time.

Naomi Osaka has been ranked No. 1 by the Women’s Tennis Association, is a four-time Grand Slam singles champion, and is the reigning champion at the US Open and Australian Open. These women will easily go down in history as the best of the best within their field.

It came as something of a shock when Biles dropped out of the Olympic individual all-around competition earlier this month. This had come only the day after the champion had dropped out of the team finals, after competing in just one of four events. Biles cited her mental health as one of the main factors in her decision to withdraw. “I felt like it would be better to take a back seat,” she said. “I didn’t want to risk the team a medal because they worked way too hard for my screwups.” USA Gymnastics states: “Her courage showed, yet again, why she is a role model for so many.”

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Naomi Osaka underwent a similar experience earlier this year, beyond the Olympic arena. In May, the second-in-the-world champion dropped out of the French open after facing a $15,000 fine for declining to take part in media interviews. She had cited mental health reasons for not wanting to meet with the press during the tournament. Osaka spoke of her struggles: “I would never trivialize mental health or use the term lightly. The truth is that I have suffered long bouts of depression since the US Open in 2018.” In June, the star dropped out of Wimbledon in order to spend “some personal time with friends and family.”

The public and press has maintained a largely positive response to these women’s courageous decisions. However, the minority remains vocal: that is, there is still a slew of critics out there who find it their job to lambaste these women for taking a seat, as it has somehow posed a personal affront to their values. Piers Morgan blasted, “Sorry Simone Biles, but there’s nothing heroic or brave about quitting because you’re not having ‘fun.’” Charlie Kirk called Biles a “selfish sociopath” and a “shame to the country.” Clay Travis: “USA gymnastics should pull Simone Biles’s ability to compete as an individual going forward & elevate the next best gymnast to the all around competitions.” The list goes on of mostly angry Twitter rants, from those inflamed individuals who feel like they’re owed something by an internationallyrenowned 24-year-old.

What this really reflects, of course, is nothing about our world-famous athletes, but a much more disappointing truth: that, after all that 2020 has wrought upon us, with mental health declining everywhere at a staggering rate, and we still insist on holding others to an impossible standard---one we are exempt from our-

selves. What will it take for us to understand our athletes as humans, if not a pandemic? It is a bitter realization to come to, one that we still have not learned to trust and sympathize with each other. Perhaps the conversation surrounding mental health needs to be an even louder one — one that the critics can either take part in, or be deafened by.

By Ella Causer

Biden’s Cuba Sanctions Emulate Trump Tactics Levi Dayan Editor in Chief On July 23rd, President Biden imposed new sanctions on Cuba’s defense minister and the Interior Ministry — an all too familiar geopolitical development that he ominously referred to as “just the beginning.” These sanctions were imposed in response to the recent wave of protests that have swept Cuba, which has been facing an economic crisis and a dearth of resources. Though Biden has garnered praise amongst liberals (and some progressives) for focusing on issues such as infrastructure, climate change and income inequality, with big-budgets not generally seen in the post-Reagan era, and for cancelling some of Trump’s executive orders, his foreign policy is every bit as right wing and interventionist as the title of U.S. president generally suggests.

One of Biden’s supposed foreign policy virtues is his claim that his administration would end support for Saudi Arabia’s war in Yemen; however, he has not actually taken any definitive steps to end said war.

Although he released a new intelligence report on the murder of Jamal Khoshoggi that, unlike Trump, placed blame for the killing on Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman, he refused to do anything about said report beyond a stern finger wag.

Additionally, while Biden’s tone on Israel has been less incendiary than Trump’s blatantly islamophobic agenda, Biden has continued to look the other way on war crimes and illegal settlements. Through it all, Biden made bombing Syria one of the first acts of his presidency, an act criticized by Tim Kaine, who is not exactly the most radical leftist in the senate. Signalling a further commitment to the forever war, Biden authorized more airstrikes against Iran-backed militias a few months

ago.

These policies are infuriating and dangerous, but should come as a shock to no one, as the furthering of America’s already insanely bloated military industrial complex has long been one of the few remaining points of bipartisanship in the executive and legislative branches.

Slightly more concerning would be the administration’s policies in South America, including the present changes on Cuba. Though the CIA policy of terrorizing South American countries that choose to move any further to the left than…. well, Biden, is even older than the forever war in the Middle East, the two factors that make Biden’s approach more worrying are the divergent political trends in many South American countries and in the U.S. Last year Bolivia overwhelming voted to essentially overturn a CIAbacked coup, Peru just recently declared left-wing union leader Pedro Castillo its president-elect, and Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, former left-wing president of Brazil who was imprisoned in a trial later ruled

by Brazilian court to have been corrupt, is currently heavily favored in the election against the current fascistic president Jair Bolsonaro.

But beyond maintaining U.S. imperial interests, Biden’s policy towards South America could be shaped by political concerns. Despite winning the election decisively, Biden lost Florida by 3.5%, a crushing defeat in a state that typically comes down to the wire. Though Biden greatly improved on Hillary Clinton’s performance in the suburbs and amongst older voters, he only won Miami-Dade county by 7 percent, whereas Clinton won by 29%. The loss can be attributed to several factors: the biggest would be his campaign’s shitty outreach to Latinx voters, a nationwide problem, but one could also point to Trump’s racist anti-immigrant

Though the CIA policy of terrorizing South American countries that choose to move any further to the left than…. well, Biden, is even older than the forever war in the Middle East, the two factors that make Biden’s approach more worrying are the divergent political trends in many South American countries and in the U.S. Last year Bolivia overwhelming voted to essentially overturn a CIA-backed coup, Peru just recently declared left-wing union leader Pedro Castillo its president-elect, and Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, former leftwing president of Brazil who was imprisoned in a trial later ruled by Brazilian court to have been corrupt, is currently heavily favored in the election against the current fascistic president Jair Bolsonaro.

rhetoric not receiving as much coverage as in 2016, a wide-scale misinformation campaign, and a local Democratic party that, even by national party standards, is shockingly incompetent. The accepted narrative is that Trump’s rhetoric against socialism — which was much more present in 2016 than in 2020 — along with the association of Trump with attempted coups in Venezuela and Bolivia was what caused Democrats to flop in Miami-Dade.

The coup in Bolivia was based on false allegations of fraud, and with Secretary of State Tony Blinken expressing concern over the imprisonment of insurrectionists, it seems as though the Biden administration hasn’t fully discounted these debunked allegations. The losing candidate in Peru also made baseless allegations of fraud that were proven false, and Bolsonaro —- who, as a fascist whose ignorance of the COVID-19 pandemic cost hundreds of thousands of lives, is currently facing a fate similar to Trump — has already indicated that he’ll object to his likely defeat and do everything he can to hold on to power.

As I said before, this could be reading too much into a foreign policy that makes no effort to deviate from a destructive, but accepted norm. But it’s tough to look at the administration’s rhetoric surrounding Cuba in recent weeks, which has included calling it a “failed state” and communism a “failed system,” without seeing a connection between the two. The sanctions on Cuba may be one of the few instances in which Biden’s administration has moved to the right of Obama, rather than slightly to the left or largely the same, as Biden pledged to move back to Obama’s “thaw deal” on the campaign trail. It is true that Cuban-Americans generally lean more to the right, but whether the party moving too far to the left was a cause of the loss in Florida (which didn’t mirror the rest of the Latinx vote in 2020 — nationally it was pretty much the same as Clinton in 2016 and looking at it state-by-state it’s difficult to draw conclusions beyond Democrats needing better outreach) is out of the question. As Biden himself pointed out multiple times during the debates, his very nomination was a pretty crushing blow to the left wing of the party, and claiming Biden — or pretty much anyone in his circle, including Kamala Harris — is a socialist is completely divorced from reality. Further, as I mentioned before, the Democrats did much, much better with Cuban voters when immigration

was given more coverage in the media, and yet Biden has spent much of his early presidency urging migrants in Mexico and Guatemala — many victims of the exact interventionism Biden continues to support in Latin America — to stay out.

Even if these were reasonable electoral calculations, there’s also the obvious fact that what works electorally doesn’t always work morally. Additional sanctions against a country already under an embargo, where, regardless of political perception, economic hardship is clearly the root of the protests, is unspeakably immoral. The UN General Assembly held a vote on a resolution calling for the U.S. to end the embargo, and the only two countries voting against it were the U.S. and Israel. Biden may claim these sanctions are about protecting “human rights” in Cuba, but no historian can justifiably claim that the embargo exists for any reason but as punishment for a fiftysomething year old revolution. Similarly, it’s impossible to look at how Cuba has evolved since then and claim that maintaining the embargo has done anything to help the people of Cuba, who also largely do not support overturning the revolution. Cuba, like any state, is not beyond reproach. But there isn’t any good-faith criticism of the Cuban government that can be made without first acknowledging that the U.S. government has been starving the nation for refusing to support the U.S.-backed Batista dictatorship.

Liberals should be outraged over Biden’s Cuban policy, if not out of concern for Cubans, then out of concern for its implications on the U.S. itself. After enduring two decades of endless disaster, I don’t see how the question of whether our foreign policy isn’t tough enough on the commies is going to be a decisive issue in any election for the foreseeable future. It’s been true for a while, but post-January 6, it’s painfully obvious that the biggest threat to the “security of everyday Americans” isn’t coming from a tiny island nation, or nations on the other side of the world entirely, but from ourselves. And as long as Biden continues to pump money into the U.S. war machine while refusing to push for an end to the filibuster, which essentially guarantees that taxpayer funds are invested almost exclusively in interventionism and secret service protection for politicians at country clubs, the U.S. will only continue to inch closer to the quagmire of human rights that we envision Cuba as.

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The Ideological Traditionalism of Reality Competition Program Kira Mesch Staff Writer The 2021 Primetime Emmy nominees came out on July 13, and shows produced by streaming services swept the dramatic and comedy selections for best series and best limited series. Yet, with the exception of Netflix’s Nailed It!, the nominees in the “Competition Program” category all find their homes on network television. Top Chef (Bravo) and RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1) are both produced by cable networks that host primarily “reality” content. The Amazing Race (CBS) and The Voice (NBC) are the rare nominated shows (with the exception of SNL) on what were formerly known as “Big Three” television networks: ABC, CBS, and NBC. This is not to mention the FOX Network’s endless barrage of competition shows that have not been nominated for an Emmy award. These are shows produced by FOX, meant to be tuned into weekly in your living room on your television screen, free to watch as long as you have a TV set and time to sit through commercial breaks. They include: The Masked Singer, where celebrities like Sarah Palin sing songs like “Baby Got Back” while dressed like mascots; Beat Shazam, where teams try to guess songs before a large computer does so they can win money; The Masked Dancer, a spinoff of its singing-based predecessor, and so on. At its most simplistic, a dichotomy can be made between the opulent costumes and sets of Netflix’s The Crown and Rob Gronkowski rapping “Ice Ice Baby” in a tiger fursuit on Wednesday 8 p.m. ET. Obviously, this begs the question: how have streaming services eclipsed cable networks in comedy and drama nominations, and yet competition programs still reign in the old guard of the cable networks, reveling in their studio audiences and increasingly outlandish concepts? Reality shows signify, in many ways, the last bastion of network television. It’s not like Netflix hasn’t tried its hand at creating individual competition programs. The prestige model of television production is antithetical to how competition shows are produced.

Traditionally, competition shows rely on the suspense generated by ad-breaks. The method of storytelling is cheaper (no unionized actors). The shows need prize money, and are therefore haunted by the everpresent spectre of their sponsorships. For the past decade or so, contestants on the final legs of The Amazing Race have been forced to carry with them a one-foot-tall, plaster Travelocity gnome on their journeys. Mini challenges on Top Chef have been painfully sponsored from the show’s inception, featuring mystery ingredients wrapped in Reynolds Wrap, or ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery.

I have never seen a sponsorship on a Netflix show.

Reality television represents not just conventional television formatting, but conventional ideologies.

What the Emmys call “Competition Programs” are shows based on spectatorship, voyeurism, and catharsis. The narratives they uphold contain the capitalist ideals of earned success and meritocracy. Because of the contin-

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ued success of these shows on traditional network television, their narratives reflect what increasingly powerful media conglomerates think of as “stories of America.”

Any network cooking show worth its salt will have contestants cook for firefighters, or for veterans, or for cops at least once per season. During Bush-era seasons, contestants cooked for families of deployed service members. During the early years of the Obama administration, Top Chef pivoted its challenges to mirror Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Get Moving!” campaign by turning the focus to “health-conscious” meals for families. Even the ostensibly progressive Drag Race still purports to speak for America and its politics, bringing on Nancy Pelosi to introduce mini-challenges. In a 2016 episode of Drag Race, the queens compete to be “the first drag president of the USA.” None of this is to mention the rampant fetishization of developing countries and poverty tourism on The Amazing Race, of which a season would not be complete without at least one veteran or cop contestant.

Of course, these are all shows I watch and find deeply entertaining. I believe they are well produced and should be nominated for awards. However, the inability of the genre to move into a more “highbrow” format or onto more technologically-minded networks suggest a fundamental traditionalism about the genre. Arguably, competition programs serve the function of “bread and circuses,” placating a population increasingly burdened by debt and financial instability with the prospect of being on national television, and one day winning prize money. Competition programs as a genre hold at their cores a deeply insidious nationalism aimed at influencing and pacifying viewers, laid bare by the traditional formatting of network television.

By Eva Sturm-Gross

Here’s How Hillary Can Still Win in 2021 Jey Kissel Contributing Writer Four years after she lost the general election in 2016, we’re all wondering, is there a way Hillary can still win?

As it turns out, there are several ways she can...

Grappling in Summer Olympics Judo As we all know the summer Olympics are fast approaching, so for Hillary to win, she’ll have to hit the Dojo ASAP. If she spends every waking moment practicing, she’ll have a chance against the Olympic athletes who have spent their whole lives preparing for this one event.

She could use her vast influence to sabotage the competition. Some expired fish or light radiation poisoning should do the trick. After a month of intense practicing, and going up against less than top shape opponents she definitely has a chance at winning this year’s Olympic Judo .

Hogging it Down at Peter’s Clam Eating Challenge, Island Park NY For this age-old tradition all Hillary has to do is survive three rounds eating raw clams in the hot sun, while competing against 99 others who have also turned their backs on god. The current record is 26 dozen clams, so all Hillary has to do is eat 313 clams in six minutes.

With a month to spare, she has plenty of time to practice cramming her gullet with slimy shellfish.

Performing a Record Time in Minecraft Speedrunning With times really tightening up in the past few months, getting into Minecraft speedrunning is harder than ever.

However, with 12 hours a day of practice, she could easily make it into the top 100 by the end of the year. All she has to do is load up a new world, collect wood, craft some tools, find a village, break some hay bales and beds (this will be important later), kill an iron golem, craft a bucket, find a lava pool, build a nether portal, go to the nether, locate a nether fortress, kill some blazes and endermen, craft eyes of ender, then find a stronghold, go to the end, and kill the ender dragon with the beds. You got this girl!

Winning a Grammy Hillary has a lot of talents, but music isn’t typically one you’d think of. While it’s unclear what musical talent she has, her best shot of winning a Grammy is hopping on a Lil Nas X song. A simple few bar feature would technically qualify her and is her best bet for musical stardom.

I’ve even started it for her: “All so focused on my emails, forget I’m the most accomplished female in the history of politics. Yeah, I won the lawsuit, I wear pantsuits, no lipstick.”

Out Flipping the Competition in President Ambar’s Tire Flipping Contest After winning Olympic Judo, this should be one of the easiest on the list. The most complicated part would be enrolling in Oberlin. With a few forged documents, she could easily enroll for the semester. However, to maintain the facade of being a college student, she’ll need to update her wardrobe and undergo a total face transplant. For clothing, I’d suggest she picks up some Chacos and anything that screams “I’m ashamed of the wealth my dad made profiting off the 2008 financial crash.”

Entering the Eastwood Elementary School’s Annual Spelling Bee Hillary will definitely come into this spelling bee with an edge. However recent reports show that 5th grader Natalie Dunn has been studying Latin roots with her mom, making the competition sharp. The English language has 171,146 words, meaning Hillary only has to memorize about 1,000 words a day before January first rolls around.

Bombarding the New Yorker Caption Contest Even feminist icons have to admit their faults-- Hillary does not have the comedic chops to win any joke writing contests. Luckily the New Yorker captions are not funny.

If once a week, Hillary sits down to write out 25 almost clever sentences, she’ll have submitted 13,000 by the end of the year, and by the law of large numbers, she should be published in no time!

Executing A Hostile Coup of the American Government Hillary Clinton is a woman with a lot of influence, and that definitely puts her at an advantage when it comes to carrying out a successful coup of the American government. Using her network and media outreach, she can start by planting seeds of distrust in the current BidenHarris government. After ensuring a good portion of the media and general population are on her side, she can begin to curry favor with the military. Aiming for current Lieutenant generals who want more power would be a good strategy. By finding commanders with the most loyal soldiers, she can ensure their loyalty to her when the time comes. She should then begin a positive campaign setting herself up as the only solution to the problems occurring in the Democratic Party. By making herself seem hip and relatable, she can get the youth vote, a strong block in her 2016 primary run. From there she can begin her coup proper, leading her fanatical followers against the current president. Though it will be a bloody conflict, this is truly the final way Hillary can be the president we all want her to be. Pokémon go commit treason girl!

We’re STILL with her!

By Shay Rutkowski

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This is The Oberlin Grape’s third installment of Ask Dr. Gags, an advice column from our resident sexologist Dr. Gagatha McCreampie. If you have a question about sex, intimacy, dating, or bird sex, feel free ot reach out to Dr. Gags through emailing thegrape@oberlin.edu

Dear Dr. Gags, I feel like everyone wants to bone me and I can’t juggle it all on top of my extracurriculars. What should I do? How do I have it all?

Xoxo, Busybussy Dearest Busybussy, Oh sweetheart, I know this predicament all too well! Perhaps I can give some insight on what has worked for me in my past affairs. First off--It’s all in the scheduling. In my twenties, thirties, and forties, I would schedule out every minute of my life on my beeper. Every time I heard a beep, it was time to change activities. One beep meant time to go piss, two told me it was time for snack, three meant pour a drink, and four meant go pick up the kids from school. I was a whirlwind of a woman, babycakes. On three beeps, I would pop a bottle of chardonnay and hit the town. My affairs were hot and heavy and extremely brief since I was on a tight, nearly suffocating time crunch. While carrying on my beeper system, I managed to raise 4 rowdy boys who all look the same (they’re feminists), earn my PhD in Coidal Advising, and look like a more Jewish version of Meryl Streep while doing it.

What I’d recommend is you get a beeper.

Beep beep, Dr. Gags Dear Dr. Gags, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend and I didn’t orgasm at all. He enjoyed it but I felt bored. How do I make it better?

Love, Climax Fury Road Dearest Climax Fury Road, Awwww that sucks! My husband makes me cream hecka loads. He loves the little shrill squeal I make when I squirt so hard I project through the ceiling! He says I sound soooo much like his childhood Guinea Pig Coco which only makes me ooze my special jelly even more until the sheets are sopping and muddy. He hates it when I shop at the girl mall but he is like my best friend. And the history teacher at my son’s school. We love to go hunting together and take pictures smiling next to our prey. Ha ha! His hair is brown and his height is tall. I love him. And he looooves to party.

And you can’t have him don’t even try bitch! So maybe try a robot instead.

You Wouldn’t even bE his tyPe because he Only Likes to rock ThIs And you Will NeVer Be ME!!!!, Gags

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Dear Dr. Gags, I think I’m in love with my best friend. We have been best friends since freshman year and even were roommates sophomore year. She lights up my life but I think she will never be into me the way I am into her. Should I tell her?

Help!

Love, Wanna Rear End My Best Friend Dearest Wanna Rear End My Best Friend, Have you ever tried investing in a customizable silicone sex doll? If not, I would highly recommend it if you can’t get a hold of her skin suit (also stuffing it is a huge hassle). They may run you a bit over $2,000-$3,000 but I mean these guys really know what they are doing. Take out a loan!

Banks love freak shit. Now you will not only have someone who looks exactly like your friend, but maybe fix some of her flaws, but you will also never have to hear her say ‘ew stay away from me perv I will never love you I only love my boyfriend he is in the Navy he is very smart in a non-school way.” Hope this helps little precious baby!

Tickles, Dr. Gags

Dear Dr. Gags, My partner and I have been together for a year now, and have lived in the same dorm building. But this Fall, Red-Ed assigned them a room in Barrows, and I don’t wanna go there ever. I love my partner, but do I love them enough to spend the winter months in that hell hole? Like a little mole? I’ll never see the sun again. What should I do?!

Love, I Love My BF But Not Enough to Spend Time in Barrows Dearest I Love My BF But Not Enough to Spend Time in Barrows, This is a classic question I get at least thirteen times a day. Personally, I have never travelled more than a mile for a lover. They flock to me like a pack of seagulls chasing down a sexy french fry on a hot summer day at the boardwalk. But you seem a bit more willing to compromise for you man. So, I would suggest making the best out of a disgusting situation. Perhaps, dig a little window to the sun by chiselling a hole in the wall with a spoon until you reach the outside. Or you could hire a construction team to smash a large hole into Barrows, to let some sun in. Plus, it will air it out. If you’re more DIY, you could consider simply blowing it to pieces. I have used this strategy many times to save a relationship. Good luck honey! Let me know how it goes.

Kisses, Dr. Gags

Hey Noah

Campus Cum Caves

Sam Blieden Photo and Web Editor

Daisy Vollen Staff Writer

Hello loyal Bad Habits readers.

As you all may recall— of course you recall, how can you forget my genius— in April of this mighty year, I penned a letter to Noah Baumbach, on how he should shoot his next big blockbuster or indie flick in Oberlin.

As we all know, Oberlin students are in a unique position as we find ourselves on campus for Hot Girl Summer 2021. July is already coming to a close, and horndogs everywhere are asking: Where has the time gone?

When and where will I get to bust a nut? Why didn’t I get recruited to be an extra in the Adam Driver movie?

What’s a little guy like me gotta do to get a cum shot around here? We can’t answer all of these questions, but we will do our best to get you started on your journey to enlightenment by providing you with a list of Oberlin College’s top ten best cum caves. If you’ve been on the hunt for a new jizz palace, you’re in luck!

caught in the rain from your one man cum cloud.

Art by Ila Astin

2. ACACREAMIA - 148 W. COLLEGE STREET

What’s the deal, babe? Am I receiving no credit for my location scouting? Back in April, there was talk of you using “Hiram’’ to film White Noise. Hiram? What the f**k is Hiram!? All I know is Oberlin. Oberlin...oh, does that sound familiar? THE TOWN YOU’RE SHOOTING IN RIGHT NOW! Well well what do we have here, Mr. Baumbach. As an indie darling turned Netflix Star, I’m sure you get credit. The concept of credit. You know, giving credit, receiving credit, yada yada yada. Well credit this:

If academia gets you off, you’ve gotta head over to a favorite study spot: Seeley G. Mudd Center. You may have seen signs posted that claim there is “No A-Level Access” right now, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret. This whole “carbon neutral” construction thing is just a facade to distract from what’s really going down on the library’s lowest level. The whole floor has been renovated and now houses the cream castle of your dreams. Students at this institution pride themselves on their open-mindedness and anti-discrimation policies and the A-Level Lust Zone is no exception. Students, staff and faculty, townies, and construction workers alike can all have their fun at this premier party place.

SAM BLIEDEN - LOCATION SCOUT

1. ENVIRONMENTALJIZZTS - 122 ELM ST

Insert screenshot of article Well guess what I biked past today. . . ….

THE BITCH IS FILMING IN OBERLIN! So my beloved Bad Habits readers, I present another letter to Noah. [for layout, make this a different font] Dear Noah Baumbach,

Has a nice ring to it, huh? I sure think so!

Noah, as a Vassar alum, there’s already tension between you and me. You went to Vassar, I did not. Despite it being my mothers favorite of the schools we toured, I decided to ED to Oberlin instead. Yeah, I wasn’t rejected but you’re making my mother look down on me! How could you do that to my mother, Noah? Well, I’ll forgive you when you credit me.

Well, while I’ve got your attention, I do have some ideas for the screenplay. Sure, you’re already filming, but a script is a living entity, and you’ve got that Netflix money babe! My first idea is that Jack Gladney should have a steamy affair with the beautiful and talented College Student 27. I heard the actor playing College Student 27 is SO great to work with and has SO many good ideas, and writes a pretty good letter, too! My next idea goes in a whole different direction. Here me out: Jack and Babette are looking to experiment. They put up some posters around campus and town, and who stumbles upon it but College Student 27. The three live happily ever after.

Since these ideas are great, I’d happily settle for a screenwriting credit and top billing right between greta and adam ;).

Looking forward to seeing the movie, Noah! Big fan! I always thought Meyerowitz Stories was a great movie to watch with my grandma, All the best you sly fox, Sam

10. APOLLO FOLEY ROOM 19 E COLLEGE STREET

Those who are into film or have a freaky friend who is should consider getting physical in the foley room above the apollo.

9. SUMMER CUMMER - 194 N PROFESSOR STREET

Too hot for your usual spot?

Make a spunk bunk out of that “closet” in the Burton basement that’s actually a normal-sized room filled with 40+ fans!

8. HARK 113 W COLLEGE STREET

Crunchy cummers will feel right at home in the group shower on the second floor of Harkness.

7. NO PERFORMANCE ANXIETY HERE - 30 N PROFESSOR STREET

Those who frequent Warner Center will tell you “the world’s a stage” and their beloved building is the perfect place to perform! Filled with nooks and crannies for those who need a break from the limelight and plenty of places for public appearances if you

like to put on a show.

6. -148 W. COLLEGE STREET

Oberlin’s famous womb chairs may not be the most creative option on this list but there’s a reason they’ve been a fan favorite for decades!

Fun fap: You know how everyone always says to bring a blanket or trenchcoat to cover the chair’s gaping hole if you want extra privacy? In the community there’s actually a term for this: your womb chair is now a “DIY bust a nut hut!”

5. . CON - 77 W COLLEGE STREET

If you like to shout out while you rub one out but don’t like too much attention you can try out a practice room in the con! And they have AC!!!

4. OFFICIAL JIZZNEZ - 150 ELM STREET

Our Bad Habits’ editor’s dear roommate moved out, leaving a massive hole in the home. Thankfully the space was quickly filled by a brand spanking new cum cave, which has a firm rule that any

parties present must receive pleasure. These housemates mean business when they say no one gets to cum out until everyone’s all cummed out.

Still cruising for an oozing but feeling limited by the choices above? Don’t get your panties in a bunch! Get ready for the climax cause we saved the best for last.

3. GIRLS GONE WILDER 135 W LORAIN STREET

Calling all exhibitionists and adrenaline junkies! This is the premiere public place to blow a load. You may be familiar with the meditation room on the third and a half floor of Wilder, but you might not know that there is a ledge with your name on it if you sneak out the window. This spot overlooks the little lot behind Wilder, as well as the popular intersection of West Lorain Street and Woodland Street, the perfect location to get freaky with a bit of a risk of getting caught. You can even make a fun game of it!

Splooge off the ledge and see if any lucky bystanders get

Do you have a green thumb?

How about green cum?! You aren’t living if you haven’t sprayed your seed all over Oberlin’s Living Machine in the Adam Joseph Lewis Center for Environmental Studies. Get in touch with your natural instincts by the AJLC’s own recreation of the “internalized cycling of water that takes place in the natural world.” This room is full of plants so tree huggers will surely feel at home tugging on their own wood in this serene spot. The system used in the AJLC is important to the environmentalists on campus but thankfully the goal here is to conserve water—not jizz!

Turn off the faucet and use those dual-flush toilets but don’t let anyone try to police how much you whack off.

I may be giving you hot tips on the best spots to touch your hot tips and tits, but the real story here? You can turn any location into a storage room for your spunk! Just remember: if you dream it, you can cream it.

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Breaking: Entire U.S. Women’s Skateboarding Team Comes Out as Straight Fionna Farrell Staff Writer It is a very important day for the straight community across the world. Today, the USOWST (you really think I’m gonna write the whole thing?) has come out as straight. Yes, you read that correctly: the entire team. Pro skaters Bryce Wettstein, Brighton Zeuner, and Jordyn Barratt all identify as heterosexual women. This means that they are attracted, perhaps, even sexually, to men.

Even, somehow, the ones that wear snapbacks with the backsnap. Yeah, Even the ones that look like Travis from Clueless. Indeed we should commend these women for their incredible bravery, and the great poise that they displayed in making this courageous announcement to the world.

The women told the Tmez: “We have something very important that we’d like to tell the world. Something that we really hope the public will be hella chill about.”

They then grasped hands and tucked each other’s hair behind their ears in a touching moment of heterosexual unity. Jordyn took a deep breath and said: “I have something to say. I need to be true to myself outside of the pipe. Girls are totally sick but I...I like…” It seems that she was at a loss for words. “Men,” her teammate Brighton chimed in, “In fact, we all like men.” Their hence-unspoken teammate Bryce nodded in affirmation.

Even the interviewer herself, Ms. Nar Lee, could not hide her momentary shock. Fumbling over her words, in a state of clear emotional disarray, she asked the women, “How does it….err...how does it feel to be... you know….straight? In this particular industry? Do you feel like people will shame you for who you are?”

“It would be totally bogus if they did,” Brigh-

ton promptly responded. “I feel like there’s such a stigma around heterosexual women in skateboarding.

It’s like, if you drink Monster or dress like Shaggy or just happen to use skateboarding as a means to take out your deepest aggressions and fears leftover from unresolved childhood trauma along with the ever-pressing burden of entirely socially-constructed gender norms...like all of that makes you gay.” Her teammates nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

“And it would be totally cool if we were gay,” added Jordyn. “We just don’t happen to swing that way. Like, I remember the first time I ever kissed a dude. It honestly felt so magical. The only other time I felt that way was when I did my first ollie. Doesn’t matter that they were both the same day when I was eight.”

“It was the first caballerial for me,” chimed in Bryce. “My homeboy Tyler was so proud of me that he took me into his arms and kissed me. I swear I was so stoked that I almost dropped my wheels right then and there. Good thing I didn’t, because my country needs me” Unfortunately, there has yet to exist a reverse coming-out Olympics, But if there were, these women would earn at least a bronze for their valiant efforts.

In the meantime, let’s wish them the best of luck in that international sports competition thing. Everyone who’s not a poser knows that the path to gold. . . is straight.

By Amelia Connelly

I Went To the Oberlin Rave: A Harrowing Account Thomas Toddlerson Contributing Writer

essential to the teething stage in my early oral development and are kind of like boob, which is so cool. Ever since arrivIn order to get into the tragedy that was this past weeking at Oberlin I have had to restrict my teething practices end, I must preface this article with some very crucial to the confines of my own crib. While I am no drug user, context: I am a baby. unless you consider sand to be a drug, which I am working That’s right. I’m a burper, a spit-upper and a crawler, but on, I have been itching to openly teethe in public without I am also so much more than that. I am probably much the shame of my elder peers. I expected this to be the best smarter than you. I was plucked out of my first day of night of my life, but what came next scarred me. daycare when I was caught reading Infinite Jest instead I strut in with a binky in my drooly little mouth, kandi on of playing on the slide with the rest of my cohorts. As a both of my chub chub arms, and this steampunk tophat baby genius, I chose to go to Oberlin and challenge the my dad said everyone was going to think was cool. And social quo instead of attending another run-of-the-mill all I see? Just a bunch of sweaty normcores, doing beer baby college. and weed, with not even a single piece of kandi to share.

As Oberlin College’s first and only openly baby student, I I hit the dancefloor and all the big kids are just bouncing was excited to hear about a real rave on campus. Babies. around, no even doing all the cool rave dances like holding Love. Raves. Because as we all know, where there’s a glow sticks. So there I am looking like a literal newborn rave, there’s binkies. Why is this? Having done extensive and I can feel a temper tantrum coming on. Some guy research into rave culture, I started to notice a pattern points at me and says, “Is that a baby? Who brought their between MDMA users and the usage of binkies in order baby to a rave?! And especially in that STUPID steampunk to satisfy the side effect of teeth grinding. Binkies are

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tophat!” Oh no. Not here! And I let it out. Wweeeeeahhhhh wweeeeeaaahhhh. That guy is literally in my stats class!

But he’s right. They’re all right. I am just a stupid tiny baby in a comically huge steampunk tophat and a binky in my slobber gob.

If this Oberlin place really wants to foster an accepting and loving environment, how about rave with kindness. Rave with empathy. Rave like it’s the early 2000s and you just ditched your hometown for New York CIty honey! And stop asking me about Boss Baby 2. I hate Boss Baby 1 and 2!!! Baby Corp is a pretty twisted corporation that obviously paid for the whole movie in order to distract you guys from what’s really going on up there! The next time you see a baby at a rave don’t question it. Don’t demean his ginormous and extremely heavy— some would say too heavy for his very tender head— steampunk tophat he obviously paid hundreds of dollars for. Instead maybe join him in what could be a binktastic night. So yeah, goo goo effin ga.

“DAILY MAIL” Levi Dayan Puts Trash in Compost Bucket Dirty blonde bombshell Levi Dayan (21) caught flaunting ass hugging jeans while putting their sushi container in the compost bucket Dayan reads sign that explains what can go in compost bucket and looks around for passerbys Firelands hunk Levi Dayan (22) looks back in the bucket, then shakes head and walks away Levi Dayan hits the creek in scandalous trunks

7 Reasons Why I need the very real Billie Eilish Body Pillow (and why it’s not that creepy) Juli Freedman Bad Habits Editor 1.Well I need something Sometimes I have nightmares and I need something to hold onto. So it has Billie on it, I don’t see how that would make me a pervert.

2. I mean it could be anyone and I would want it.

But I prefer it to be teen sensation Billie Eilish.

3. She’s of age Not only is she 18, she’s 19.

4.It doesn’t even look that much like her!

Its a drawing, duh. And it’s fully clothed, socks on and all. All we really get is a wee little bit of bellybutton, which is fine I guess.

5. Who even said I was going to hump it?

By Dasha Klein

Well for sure not me. Was it you? Hmmmm I don’t hear anything.

6.I could always say some-

one else got it for me.

What do you want me to do?

Throw away a perfect plush body pillow? Now that would be sacrilege.

7. I mean look at me.

Do I look like someone who would be a sicko? A sick little freak who just wants to rock that body pillow all night long?

I’m just a little jew princess with a cute little 60s french model haircut and peachy cheeks. Does that seem like the kind of person who has been isolated sexually from humankind and now only seeks pleasure through material inanimate objects? No! Not at all! But I mean if that was me, would it even be that weird? like I’m only a year older and let’s say she found me on Instagram and we started talking it up and she was all like “Juli I love you please be mine forever the fandom is crumbling lets just both simultaneously hump pillows for eternity <3” you would all think, “awwwww that’s sooooo gaydorable” and not “wow what a pervy loser”. Right? Like right guys?!?

SIDE NOTE: YES LEVI PUBLISH THIS!!!!

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Who is Coming to Solarity Next?

Levi Dayan, Kira Mesch Editor in Chief, Staff Writer Solstice proved that Solarity can happen in the summertime, and you don’t have to practice Santeria (whatever that is) or have no crystal ball to know who runs the summertime. I’m of course referring to the band Sublime, the Long Beach kings with the funky fresh hits and the Sublime reggae style. Lead singer Bradley Nowell may have kicked the bucket 25 years ago, but with some guy named Rome filling in, Sublime is still more than well-qualified to represent the L.B.C., as well as the O.B.C. (O-Berlin College that is!) And not to speak ill of the dead, but I think Sublime With Rome are much better than the original band.

Of course, as much as being in Oberlin for the summer has been a nonstop party train running on dope sex and debauchery, let’s not forget that first and foremost we are here to learn.

With our motto of Learning and Labor in mind, it’s absolutely insane that my man Eric Clapton hasn’t been booked to do Solarity yet. If we’re talking Learning, there’s no better way to learn about the history of Blues than seeing the bloke who invented it all by himself. And if we’re talking Labor, no one’s more committed than old Slowhand. Whether it’s the labor of turning the Blues into something actually worth a shit, the labor of supporting brave truth-tellers like Enoch Powell, or his concern for the labor being stolen from Brits by filthy Caribbean immi-

grants, Clapton’s practically the king of this labor shit. But Learning and Labor is meaningless without the free exchange of different ideas, and a performance from Clapton would inject (no pun intended) some much needed vaccine discourse into this fledgling campus. Clapton’s got a lot to say, and the more you listen, the more you’ll agree with him!

And while we’re on the subject of brave truth-tellers, I’d be remiss to mention John Popper of the band Blues Traveller. You may remember them as the guys that did that one 90s song with the ear-scraping nine-minute long harmonica solo, but I like to think of John Popper, vintage weaponry collector, gun enthusiast, professional weed smoker, and (this part goes without saying) libertarian, as the great Sex Man of music. But the aforementioned harmonica torture certainly helps to get those boners poppin’ (no pun intended). At least if you’re into that kind of shit.

While COVID was what pushed Solarity around this year, the truth is that we are the epicenter of a much more contagious, much more powerful viral epidemic: Clay Aiken fever. Clay Aiken has touched the souls of millions of Claymates around the world, and though he may have lost American Idol to Ruben Studdard, and lost his congressional race to some random Republican, he certainly hasn’t lost the affection of Obies. According to sources such as YourCollege.gov and dickpills.fuckme.net/colleges, Oberlin is ranked third for most Claymates on campus, behind only University of Tampa

and Worcester Polytechnic Institute.

Although Clay Aiken’s headlining performance at Solarity may only exist in our maddeningly reoccurring dreams, I can reasonably imagine that as he belts out a rendition of “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” it will ignite a raging sea of erections in the audience.

What a shame that everyone’s favorite one-hit-wonder trio and Masked Singer contestant, Hanson, hasn’t yet visited the Oberlin campus! While some one hit wonders have devolved into debauchery, these former teenage heartthrobs have stayed on the straight and narrow, releasing album after album of Godhonoring bangers. When we invite them to campus, Zac, Taylor, and Isaac Hanson are going to have everyone MMMBop-ing their bodies to the rhythm! If we’re lucky, we might even get them to perform something from their fan-favorite 2017 holiday album, Finally It’s Christmas.

Who says we can’t have a little family-friendly fun at Solarity? If we want to get some sing-alongs going, who better to invite than children’s musician, Raffi!

Coming off the release of his newest album, Raffi: The Remixes, Raffi’s attempts to appeal to an older Gen-Z audience could benefit from a little promotion at Solarity! I’m sure he’ll be able to get everyone in the Solarity audience moving their heads to the beat with classic songs like Shake My Sillies Out, Apples and Bananas, Baby Beluga, and Wheels on the Bus, and newer soon-to-be-classics like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (Marshmello’s Version), Brush Your Teeth (Featur-

ing cupcakKe), Bananaphone (Remix) [Featuring Charli XCX], and more!

As a personal friend of Liam Gallagher, I have his word that he will, if begged, come to Oberlin for Solarity on the one condition that he will be performing only his upcoming ambient music project, Probably, Sort of, Stop Asking Me You Fucking Prick. He also told me over the phone upon my inquiry that: “If you even try to get that [expletive] brother of mine within 50 miles of campus, I will personally make your life a living hell.”

Ruh roh! Guess we won’t be hearing “Wonderwall” any time soon!

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think that Adam Levine is the sexiest piece of meat on the face of this planet.

Everything about him makes me want to have him impregnate me with his flawless, gleaming semen, like his shiny hair, or the tattoo across his stomach that says “CALIFORNIA.” Hubba hubba! I don’t know many people who wouldn’t want to see him take off his shirt while he’s in the middle of performing “Animals” and see his chest damp with sweat because he’s been performing with such visceral sexual intensity. Unfortunately, Adam might be too busy being Emmy-nominated for The Voice along with that fucking hack Blake Shelton and combing his perfect hair to grace us with his presence, so Oberlin might have to settle for Maroon 5 without Adam Levine instead. We can make some “Memories” with the guy with the long hair whose sister was on Project Runway and also the other three! If you’re reading this, I love you Adam!!!1!

VACCINE PSA In light of the surge in Delta Variant cases, we sent resident girl detective Juli Freedman to get the scoop on Oberlin Campus’ new group Students for vAccine USe And GrEatness (SAUSAGE) and learn all about why it is more important than ever to be vaccinated on campus.

Juli Freedman: Hello Guys! Can you introduce yourself and tell the people a little bit about SAUSAGE and why you started it.

By Eva Sturm-Gross

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Mickey Coats: Hey! My name is Mickey Coats, I am a second-year biology major.

I wanted to start SAUSAGE because I was hearing some rumors around campus about vaccine truthers and conspiracy theories and I thought that a resource center where students and faculty could receive reliable information and rides to

vaccine clinics would really boost community welfare. So I called up my best friend Donny and thought he would be down to start it with me.

Donny Goose: And I’m Donny Goose, and I’m a big teacher lover.

MC: See Donny is probably the biggest teacher lover I’ve ever met, so I just needed him on the team DG: Oh I love teacher

MC: But he loves teacher JF: But how does that fit in with the work with SAUSAGE? MC: Oooooh, I see what you mean. Well Donny here, he will do anything to make sure teacher is okay.

DG: If teacher gets sick I will be crushed.

MC: We didn’t intend to talk about it. It’s a sore spot for Donny.

JF: I’m a little confused MC: Oh well Donny here see he doesn’t go to school here DG: Nope

JF: Oh, I’m sorry it’s just you brought it up.

DG: IF TEACHER GETS SICK I WILL BUY A GUN!

The Summer Semester Fucking Ruled and If You Disagree I’ll Pound Your Ass Howard Bongiovi Contributorr This summer Oberlin responded to COVID by spreading out when students were on campus, and the results unsurprisingly brought a lot of complaining from students. Well, I’m not having any of that fucking shit. My name’s Howard Bongiovi, I was born without tear ducts, and I had the best fucking summer in my life, but you wouldn’t know that from how the gang of wimps collectively known as the frickin Oberlin student body reacted to this summer of epicness. People whine about not having enough time off between the Spring and Summer semesters, I say tough fucking luck. I’ve never taken a single break in all of my 19 years of living life, and I can spend hours and hours in a single empty room without so much as even thinking about jerking off. So don’t give me that burnout shit. Like me and the boys scream repeatedly scream while we ride the exercise bikes at Shanks, no days off - and that applies to school, something I used to think was pretty gay but got really into when I realized that academics is like the sports of the mind.

People here complain all day about the Rat, Umami, and Lord-Saunders all being closed for the summer. As if there isn’t a Walmart right down the street that’s just fucking BRIMMING with buckets of whey protein. If they still have buckets of whey protein when *I’m* done shopping, you have NO fucking excuse to not be eating whey protein. People complain about the construction taking up so much space on campus, but those same losers look at me weird when I dump buckets of water in the holes and try to fish in them. So what the FUCK is the answer? And I think it’s soooooo telling that not a single one of these mopey dickheads ever talks about all the time me and the boys spent in the woods, where we discovered fairies and other celestial beings and learned that angels are, IN FACT, real. So don’t you fucking DARE tell me the summer semester wasn’t AWESOME!

By Howard Bongiovi

JF: Oh my god MC; Down boy!

DG: I just love teacher so much. Starts to wimper MC: I know, you’re a good boy. Do you want your fruit gummies? I have some welchs in the treat bag.

DG: Yes daddy.

MC: We are gonna go but please get vaccinated!

DG: Especially teacher!

MC: Yes, especially teacher.

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Hey! It’s the Comic Corner

By Henley Childress

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By Eva Sturm-Gross

ACROSS *EVERYTHING IN BOLD IS NONSENSE GIBBERISH THAT WE HAD TO PUT IN TO MAKE THE CROSSWORD WORK SO WE GAVE YOU THE ANSWERS :) 1. Question you might ask if you woke up from a Coma and the last thing you remember was the the Apollo 11 moon landing 2. Genre of 70s punk-rock music associated with Skinheads 14. Lizzo was there 15. There’s one for every section of the Grape 17. Healthy moms keep their kids on this diet 18.To be 19. Mediating force relating to identity according to Freudian

psychology 20. Sloppy toppy or perhaps eating pussy 21.When you are keen on having sex abbr.

23. Infectious disease caused by bacteria 24.The fate of a mistake 26. The first four letters of this clue are “i”, if you ignore those, the last four letters are a healthy, trendy, purple, fruity snack that is sooo 2015 29. ABMT 30. MCNSLUT 31. The first song in everyone’s music libraries from long ago 32. Oxford English Dictionary abbr.

33. LR 34. Netflix original about the disappearance of a young woman 35. Texas slang and gender neutral term 37. J’adore 39. “We’re pregnant!”

41. New or modern if you were in Berlin 42. What you would put on your pancakes on opposite day 43. YALETD 45. Not down 46. They make you empty your pockets 47. Up the butt 48. Chat loudly 50.You’d go here if you broke your arm 51. Summer Solarity music event 55. “You’ve still got ____ __ learn” 56. A student taught class about Winnie the Pooh’s mopiest friend 57. Our current state 58. Helper to the trickster

2. Happens every Summer and Winter 3. Every one 4. Penny was one 5. For boys this might be a lacy bustier or some high heels 6. RITO 7. First three letter of coolest music application 8. Maasai word meaning ‘cold water’ that is the origin of the name of Kenya’s capital city 9. Snake but worse 10. You’ll find one of these in the classifieds page of this issue 11. You might have made one out of a shoebox in 4th grade 12. More than one means lots 13. Cough it up or they’ll take your possessions (*no, not the Oberlin Student Belongings Project) 16. What happens when you take the Pottery ExCo 22. Discovering treasure 23. Tit for...

24. Dinner in a restaurant or to give head 25. Country music star and America’s original sweetheart 27. To be 28. The opposite of straight (not gay) 36. If Oberling offered an ExCo on the subject of domestic abuse!

Yikes!

38. LEEOMSA 39. And I...

40. Tells you who made it 42. If you’re under eighteen these would count as child pornography 44. Virgil 48. Saturn Devouring his Son creator 49. BCRT 51. The face of Progressive 52. Before Angeles 53. CET 54. Extra Extra Credit abbr. (LOL)

DOWN 1. Your response to someone’s who’s doing a little too much

therapizing

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