OCTOBER 11 2019

VOL. 69 No. 2

OBERLIN’S ALTERNATIVE STUDENT NEWSPAPER

EST. 1999

October 11th, 2019,

Front Cover: Clio Schwartz Back Cover: Jake Butcher and Jody Shanabrook Editors in Chief: Molly Bryson P.J. McCormick Managing Editor: Charlie Rinehart-Jones

Section Editors: Serena Zets - Features Damani McNeil - Arts + Culture Ben Richman - Opinions Jane Wickline - Bad Habits

Visual Arts Editor: Molly Sheffield

Layout Editors: Maddie Shaw Sam Schectman Amy Baylis Anna Harberger

Copy Editors: David Mathisson Maisie Sheidlower Miriam Khanukaev Levi Dayan

Photo Editor: Clio Schwartz

Staff Writers: Jason Hewitt Grace Smith Cameron Avery Fionna Farrell Web Editor: Loubna El Meddah El Idrissi

Letter from the Editors: On the Appeal

BY MOLLY BRYSON AND P.J. MCCORMICK | EDITORS IN CHIEF Last Monday, the Office of Communications announced that the Board of Trustees had voted to appeal the jury verdict which held the College responsible for the student protest organized in response to the Gibson’s incident in the fall of 2016. The incident in question was a physical altercation between a member of the Gibson’s family and a black Oberlin student, who was later accused of, and eventually pled guilty (as part of a plea deal) to shoplifting and using a fake ID to purchase alcoholic beverages. When the protest broke out not 48 hours after the altercation (which, by virtue of occurring on College Street in broad daylight, was witnessed by multiple people, many of whom expressed concern for the student’s safety), it was of Oberlin students’ own volition.

For many participants, the protest was an effort to protect the rights of a POC peer. For others, it was an overdue reaction to a business which had, for years, been rumored to racially profile. For no-one was it a surrogate act on behalf of the college, its ideologies, or its agenda.

Whether or not you think the protest was warranted, the fact of the matter remains: the protesters (students, professors, and locals alike) were practicing free speech. The people who stood, sang, and marched in the November cold for hours on end did not do so because some higher institutional power told them to.

Still, the media has been quick to bypass the real issues of free speech and accountability at hand. News outlets have instead chosen to focus on the (non)validity of the protests—painting Oberlin, and its students, as the pinnacle

October 11th, 2019

of inordinate, excessively “PC” liberalism.

When the lawsuit was first announced last June, local papers surged with descriptions of the triumphant, tearyeyed Gibsons celebrating their victory in court, making sure to hone in on the family’s 93-year old patriarch, Allyn Sr., who wore a neck brace—the result of a fall that occured when he went to investigate a “mysterious car” that had pulled up to his house at 1 AM (an article published by WKYC Cleveland in June insinuated that the car was an intimidation tactic by protestors). But this is ridiculous, high theater that, unfortunately, one has come to expect from the Greatest Generation/Baby Boomers who (ironically) love to peddle the idea that Gen-Z’ers (most egregiously personified in the Oberlin student body) are a group of oversensitive, petulant shitheads.

Which is, of course, the narrative that many have chosen to run with. For the media-writ-large, there’s undignified whining (the type that lib-arts students do on behalf of protected groups) and dignified whining (the type that the Gibsons, Tucker Carlson, Trump, and any number of conservative pundits and denizens-of-Twitter-with-aprofile-picture-holding-a-big-fish do on behalf of other, welloff conservatives, when they feel their America -- the version where one can be openly racist -- is under attack). Such is the case with the Gibsons, whose livelihood was destroyed (they were fine, and now they’re all multi-millionaires) when their employee Allyn D. Gibson tackled a student to the ground for suspected shoplifting.

In order to truly understand the wider implications of

the Gibson’s initial victory, it’s important to go back to the beginning. As WKYC Cleveland reported, “A day after Donald Trump’s election, an Oberlin student, who happened [emphasis ours] to be black, was caught shoplifting by a younger Gibson. The two tangled outside the store over the bottle of wine.” Yes, and this sort of reporting happens to be disingenuous bullshit.

The facts are these: suspecting a black student of stealing a bottle of wine, 32-year-old Allyn Gibson tackled a college student to the ground on the sidewalk outside the store and forced him into a headlock. (As the NYTimes points out, Gibson is trained in martial arts. Cool!) Fearing for their friend’s safety, two other students got involved once their friend was under attack. Protests ensued. Within two years, the Gibson family has been heartily rewarded for their employee’s actions, more than recouping the price of a bottle of wine.

But to linger on the alleged shoplifting is to miss the point: no one should be tackled to the ground in public, and if there ever was a place to be cognizant of that, it’s at a Predominantly White Institution like Oberlin. What’s at stake here is more than just the integrity of the protestors— or the Gibsons, for that matter. What’s at stake is the right of the individual to speak and act on behalf of their own beliefs, without it being conflated with the mission of the institution that they belong to. What’s at stake is the culture of productive, effective, and inclusive activism that is able to flourish at Oberlin, not because our administrators strategically enable it (we all know the student body’s relationship with administrative bodies is historically tumultuous, after all), but because we (the students) actively and intentionally make it so.

Counseling Center Debuts New Group Therapy Options

BY MOLLY BRYSON | EDITOR IN CHIEF Oberlin’s health and wellness programs are getting a big makeover this year—and I don’t just mean their move to Dascomb and the $2.8 million cost of renovating a midcentury dining hall into a sleek new health facility. In addition to being housed in a significantly more functional and accessible location, the Oberlin Counseling Center is now offering a variety of group therapy options. The groups are designed to teach hands-on skills and coping mechanisms, while also providing students with

communities of support. Most of the groups meet once a week for multiple sessions.

Such regularity “helps to hold people accountable,” says Alexis DaFonseca, the Post Doctoral Resident who has been in charge of leading and promoting many of the new group therapy options.

There are currently 10 plus groups being offered or slated to be offered in the coming months. Some of the groups—such as Mindful Mondays, Anxiety Toolbox, and Personal Growth—are focused on developing specific

skills to address internal conflict and relationship issues. DaFonseca describes these groups as following more of a “curriculum.”

“In Anxiety Toolbox, we address questions such as: What is anxiety? How does it function in our body? What are some effective ways of managing anxiety, physiologically as well as in our thought patterns?,” she says. “Anxiety toolbox is primarily didactic,” echoes John Harshbarger, Director of Student Health and Counseling.

“THAT MODALITY”—THAT IS, GROUP THERAPY—“IS REALLY MORE EFFECTIVE THAN INDIVIDUAL THERAPY IN SOME CASES,” HE ADDS. “BEING ABLE TO CONNECT WITH OTHER PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING CAN BE SO POWERFUL.”

The counseling center is also offering more process-oriented groups, such as Grief and Loss, Gender ID Support, and In My Feelings. These groups often run for longer periods of time and involve more disclosure from their members. “You have an opportunity to talk about what’s going on and how you’re feeling,” says Harshbarger. “That modality”—that is, group therapy—“is really more effective than individual therapy in some cases,” he adds. “Being able to connect with other people going through the same thing can be so powerful.”

When asked if the addition of group therapy options was in response to specific student requests or part of a broader school initiative to promote well-being, Harshbarger says “all of the above.” “Over the years we’ve surveyed students, and some of the groups we’re currently offering are groups that students had marked that they’d felt would be important for us to have.” DaFonseca emphasizes that the Counseling Center is always looking for student input: “We just added our Gender ID Support Group [on behalf of student requests]. If people have interests, we encourage them to reach out to us.”

Group therapy tends to be offered in larger universities and institutions. “At first I wasn’t quite sure if it would work on such a small campus,” Harshbarger says. I can see where he’s coming from; it’s nearly impossible to be anonymous at Oberlin, and participating in a support group where there’s a possibility you might know half the people in the room might not be for everyone. Even so, Harshbarger says that the groups have been well-attended, and that the counseling center has only received positive feedback on the new therapy options so far.

More information about existing (and TBA) groups can be found on the Counseling Center’s website, at https://www.oberlin.edu/ counseling/what-we-do/group-therapy. ◊

A Brief Profile of Kwame Ture & His 1996 Speeches at Finney Chapel

BY SERENA ZETS | FEATURES EDIOTOR This is the beginning of a new Features column profiling radical past speakers and faculty of Oberlin College & Conservatory. If there’s a figure you want profiled, submit them to The Grape!

Drawing by Charlotte Price

While it’s a right of passage for an Oberlin guest speaker or faculty member to spark campus-wide debate, few guest speakers have ever sparked as much controversy as Kwame Ture when he spoke at Finney Chapel in March of 1996.

Ture (born Stokely Carmichael) rose through the ranks within SNCC (Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee) from one of its original freedom riders to becoming one of its leaders, before leading the national Black Panther Party and then the All-African People’s Revolutionary Party. The FBI targeted Ture for his activism and forced him to flee to Ghana in 1968, where he adopted the name Kwame Ture and turned his activism to focus on Pan-African ideology and international struggle, rather than plights within the U.S. Ture was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1996, causing him to return to the United States for treatment and, thus, allowing him to speak at Oberlin.

That spring, Third World House sponsored a “People of Color Lecture Series” and invited Ture to discuss his work regarding the civil rights and Pan-African movements. He came to campus to deliver an address on Pan-Africanism to the black community of Oberlin, but upon his arrival to campus, the leaders of Students for a Free Palestine asked him to do a seperate talk about zionism. In that seperate speech, he reiterated his anti-zionist stance and stated that “the only good Zionist is a dead Zionist.” This speech was met with dozens of student counterprotestors. It’s said that the Q&A portion of that talk lasted as long as his speech and eventually devolved into a shouting match between Ture and students.

The speech sparked such controversy that then-President of Oberlin, Nancy Dye, released a letter to the student body

condemning Ture’s views and characterizing him as a “man consumed by rage.” This letter upset leaders of ABUSUA who appreciated his speech on Pan-Africanism, and ABUSUA’s co-chair stated that it seemed she was only supporting one community who had come to her upset. President Dye’s response effectively pitted the concerns of black students against Jewish students and disrupted networks of organizing across campus and its communities. A student at the time, Nakisha Heard, said: “People can’t seem to get past the ‘the only good Zionist is a dead Zionist’ statement. He was talking about a whole lot of other stuff...[such as] Pan-Africanism and advice to the black community.”

Ture’s visit is often spoken about amongst radical Obies as if it were part of Oberlin folklore. Much like Chance the Rapper’s 2013 Sco show, most people have heard of it happening, but not many know exactly what went down. The content of Ture’s speech was not only historically relevant, but rather it gives us much to ponder as Oberlin’s communities continue to work through a precarious, and often frightening, era. In his address on Pan-Africanism, Ture said “Dialogue alone won’t bring people together as common struggle will… In struggle, you can come together. Otherwise it’s just talking.” A common critique of Oberlin activism is that it consists of too much talking and too little doing.

Maybe our campus needs to evoke the legacy of Ture and take the further step beyond mere dialogue and unite under a common struggle, not for the sake of our institution, but for the sake of our communities. ◊

Fake Petition Circulates Campus

BY GRACE SMITH | STAFF WRITER

DISCLAIMER: The fake petition “Stop Foreign Ownership of our Electric Grid” was created to confuse and deter people from signing the legitimate petition “Repeal House Bill 6”. Please do not use this article as reason to brush off all petitions circulating campus, because then the forces funding the fake petitioners will have achieved their goal.

Around 2 p.m. on October 9th, my friend and I were walking through Tappan Square. We were flagged down by a couple with clipboards: a larger white man with a grayish beard and a shorter woman with an East Asian accent. The man made their status as a couple very clear to passerbys by continuously calling her “babe,” or “my wife,” or simply blurting our “we’re married!” He said they were “trying to stop some Trump shit” and handed me a paper titled “Stop Foreign Ownership of our Electric Grid.” Seeing his camo hat with a Blue Lives Matter colored American flag, we doubted his intentions and continued on our way.

Shortly after, I learned that “Stop Foreign Ownership of our Electric Grid” was a fake petition that had been circulating Ohio since early September. The form only asks for people’s name, signature, and address, with the disclaimer that these efforts are paid for by “Ohioans for Energy Security.” This is a dark-money group that has invested millions of dollars to tank the “Repeal House Bill 6” referendum petition. Many have speculated that FirstEnergy Solutions, a corporation with coal and nuclear plants that would specifically benefit from House Bill 6, is funding their efforts.

Ohio legislature passed House Bill 6 in early July, planned to go into effect on October 22nd. House Bill 6 would increase the amount paid by utilities taxpayers to bailout two highly-polluting coal plants and two bankrupt nuclear plants. In addition it would cut renewable energy standards, reducing the renewable energy target to 8.5% by 2026 instead of 12.5% by 2027. It would also cut energy efficiency standards; currently Ohio utility companies are required to reduce customers’ energy use by 22% by 2027—that’s 22% from the original 2008 levels. House Bill 6 would allow companies to stop at 17.5%, a level that many have already hit.

In addition to their red-herring petition, Ohioans for Energy Security have conducted a

October 11th, 2019

television advertisement and mail campaign. They claim, without proof, that the Chinese government is buying and infiltrating Ohio’s powergrid. The group points to Chinese bank loans to certain natural gas power plants. Ironically, FirstEnergy Solutions has loans from the same Chinese bank. FirstEnergy solutions has claimed to have no connection to Ohioans for Energy Security; however, two people featured in an advertisement had previously identified themselves as employees.

The petition is fake in the sense that it is unofficial, non-binding, and the tactics used to collect signatures are based in misinformation. For example, some petitioners have suggested that signing would impede the activity of President Trump. However, Trump’s 2016 Ohio campaign advisor personally intervened in support of House Bill 6. He told Ohio lawmakers that “Trump can’t afford to see the plants shut down and jobs lost heading into the 2020 election.”

These fake petitioners are most likely hired by FieldWorks and paid by the signature. In anonymous conversations, some of them expressed that this was simply a job to them and they could have easily ended up on either side, while others seemed genuinely bought in on the Chinese Ohio grid takeover conspiracy. It was difficult to tell if certain petitioners were manufacturing liberal personalities to get more signatures. For example, one of them claimed to be a Pete Buttigieg supporter and had a conversation with an Oberlin student about how he was worried being gay meant he would not be electable.

The false petition is being used to deter from a legitimate referendum petition to “Repeal House Bill 6.” The group running the petition, Ohioans Against Corporate Bailouts, must obtain the valid signatures of 265,774 registered Ohio voters by October 21st. This would place a referendum on the November 2020 ballot. If the referendum is certified, it would delay the implementation of House Bill 6 until the vote.

Luckily, the illegitimacy of the fake petition means those who regret signing don’t need to worry about their signatures counting towards a legitimate vote. So why put in all this effort to acquire signatures with no legal value? Some have stipulated that having two petitions circulating might be intended to confuse people who are thinking of signing the actual

referendum. In addition, some fake petitioners have been instructing those who have signed their petition not to sign the referendum.

Gene Pierce, spokesman for Ohioans Against Corporate Bailouts says “House Bill 6 supporters have followed our petition carriers home in the evenings, have taken photos of their car license plates, and have conducted verbal harassment, often face to face.” Not only are House Bill 6 supporters discouraging people who might sign the actual petition, but discouraging the petitioners themselves. Some of Ohioans for Energy Security’s advertisements have taken on a McCarthyist tone. One 30 second ad warned that people gathering petition signatures for the referendum were “outsiders brought into our state to roam our neighborhoods.” In addition, they have sent out mail slips advising citizens to report referendum circulators to their hotline. Generation Now has hired people from FieldWorks to follow referendum petitioners around and dissuade people from signing.

This seems to be in direct conflict with what Carlo LoParo, spokesman for Ohioans for Energy Security, has claimed. LoParo said his “petitioners” were instructed not to work the same areas being worked by referendum petitioners. However, petitioners for the legitimate “Repeal House Bill 6” referendum and “Stop Foreign Ownership of our Electric Grid” have both been seen in Oberlin. Environmental groups on campus such as Communities for Safe and Sustainable Energy & Students for Energy Justice are working to bring more “Repeal House Bill 6” petitioners to campus.

At 4:15 on October 9th, I encountered a false petitioner with dyed red hair. The day prior she wore leggings that were quintessentially “Herbalife.” According to Delia Walz, Oberlin second year, “her leggings reminded me of a documentary I watched on a multilevel marketing scheme.” When I asked the woman about the legitimacy of her petition, she grew ruffled and claimed she never called it a petition; it was a “plebiscite.” The conversation ensued like this: Woman: Have you done your own research?

Me: About House Bill 6?

Woman: We are trying to keep foreign power off our electricity grids. Ever think of that?

Me: There’s no proof that China is trying to take Ohio’s electricity grid.

Woman: We never said which foreign power it was.

While this conversation was happening, her petitioning partner was visibly sweating in the passenger seat of her red Dodge caravan and asking to leave. She got in the driver’s seat, slammed the door, and said “What the fuck are they gonna do? They’re a couple of fucking college kids.” ◊

From various witness accounts, a list of fake petitioners that were seen on campus on October 8th and 9th: • Larger white man with a grayish beard, sunglasses, and camo baseball hat, 40-50s. Shorter woman in a purple shirt with an East Asian accent, 30s. Seen in Tappan Square.

• Older white man with a beard, 60-70s. May have grey hair and round sunglasses. Seen outside of Mudd.

• Latino man missing part of his right arm, 30-40s. Seen outside of Stevenson Dining Hall, Barrows, and Carnegie.

• Larger white woman with dyed red hair and a tattoo in the middle of her shoulder blades, 30-40s. Seen outside of Wilder Common phrases used by fake petitioners: • “Sign this to stop outsourcing workers” • “Keep 4000 jobs in Ohio” • “Stop Russians from investing in our energy grid” • “Collecting signatures to create more jobs” • “Sign our petition to keep energy American” • “We are trying to stop some Trump shit”

10 Questions with Marisa Dabice, lead singer of Mannequin Pussy

BY PJ MCCORMICK | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Two weeks ago, Mannequin Pussy tore Oberlin up for the second time in as many years, this time showcasing their new album, Patience, in an all-out blitz of a show at the ‘Sco. While their first two albums also toed the line between noisy-punk and poppy, glued-to-yourbrain melodies, it’s Patience, released in June, that contains their most accessible arrangements to date, with lyrics from lead singer Marisa Dabice that solidify Patience as the raw, vulnerable, exciting, ugly, break-up record of the year.

On lead single “Drunk II,” Dabice howls her way through one of the most honest break-up songs of recent memory, “going out every night” to “pretend she has fun.”

But it’s the chorus where she really gets real: “Everyone says to me/‘Missy you’re so strong’/But what if I don’t wanna be?”

Elsewhere, on the fast-paced “Cream,” Dabice sings that she’s: “Standing at the gates of my hell/I was looking at myself like/‘Girl, what you did? Take a look at yourself right now.”

It’s Dabice’s willingness to get candid that make her the ideal interview subject.

This week, as Mannequin Pussy rest before the next leg of their first headlining tour, The Grape spoke to Marisa by phone about her star chart, Greta Van Fleet, and the perfect sandwich.

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

PJ: Hi Marisa! Thanks for agreeing to speak with The Grape. What was the first album you remember being in love with?

Marisa: Probably Sum 41’s All Killer, No Filler. I was probably in like, 8th grade.

I saw them play on like MTV or some shit and then like went to Sam Goode and bought it.

October 11th, 2019

First concert you went to?

The first concert I went to was Jimmy Eat World and Piebald [a pop-punk band from Andover, Massecusets] when I was like, a freshman in high school. It was one of those instances where I realized that like sometimes the opener is gonna blow you away more than the headliner.

I remember Piebald being infinitely more memorable than anything else, so I think I always remembered get there in time for the opener.

An album from this year that you’re really enjoying?

It’s definitely not something from this year but I’ve really kinda realized recently that Radiohead is my favorite fucking band. And I think I was in denial about that for a long time, but recently I’ve been like digging into their history and discography and like, falling in love with every album again. It’s kind of all I’ve been listening to.

I love them so much. They’re one of the only bands I can think of that from album to album it’s clearly them, but they just have such a progression. They seem to like, burn down everything that they do and rebuild it.

How checked-in to your star chart are you?

I feel very connected to my three major signs. I am a sun Virgo, a rising Sagittarius, and a moon Leo. I feel very connected to my moon in Leo. Other people have told me that there are a lot of front-people in history who also have their moon in Leo. It’s a very like, flamboyant, creative, look-at-me placement. But I’ve also read that it makes you more optimistic and friendly and stuff like that. I don’t feel as like, burdened by like the worrisome and the nitpicking need for perfection that my Virgo sun gives me. So I think it allows me

Photo Courtesy of Sam Blieden

to be a little bit more fun.

But my chart is over all like 50 percent fire and I think I’m a very intense, fiery person when I want to be, and I really feel connected to that. I’m very happy that astrology has become such a mainstream thing over the past couple years. I think it’s just like, one of those things where at a certain point in your life you have enough failed relationships with people that you’re like, “what the fuck is going on with me and eveyrone around me?” so people just delve into astrology super hard. It’s kind of incredible to me at this point that some people don’t know their charts. How do you seriously have no interest in this?

But that might be my slightly narcissistic Leo moon talking.

Mannequin Pussy just wrapped up part one of your first headlining tour, supported by Empath and T-Rextasy. Was there a highlight show of the tour with those groups?

I feel very blessed to be able to say that there were so many highlights shows from this tour. With T-Rextasy especially, every show was kind of a highlight because I love their band so much. When you love a band and you’re on tour with them you get to see how the performance gets tighter and tighter every night. The LA date [in August, at The Echo] was a really magical show, I loved watching them and really seeing how the crowd interacted with them.

In the past two years, you’ve played two shows at Oberlin (one house show and one at the ‘Sco). Are there any marked differences between playing colleges and playing real venues?

There’s no real standard experience for college shows. Like, it’s good money to play a college, but it’s usually not very fun [laughs]. In my experience a lot of college students are really struggling with who

10 Questions (continued) they are and how to express themselves, and with realizing it’s totally okay to just like have fun at a show. Which is why Oberlin’s so great, because play a college, but it’s usually not very fun [laughs]. In my experience a lot of college students are really struggling with who they are and how to express themselves, and with realizing it’s totally okay to just like have fun at a show. Which is why Oberlin’s so great, because everyone there is just sort of an outward freak and seemingly very comfortable with themselves and their self-expression. At Oberlin, people were going fucking hard, but I feel like at a lot of other college shows people are pretty timid.

College shows are really hit or miss.

Sometimes the only people that come out to a college show are like, the ten people that work at the radio station and everyone else on campus doesn’t give a shit. But then you have an experience like we did at Oberlin, where people came to party and gave a good time and dance.

What’s the worst reaction you’ve ever had to your band name?

99% percent of the people that tell us that our band name is horrible and that we should change it are like, much older white men on the internet. And like, I don’t really care what older people have to say. I’m of the mind that the old ways need to be burned down, and we need to make our own. I don’t really agree with much of what the older generation does or how they live their lives or how they treat other people or the planet. So I don’t really care.

a battle of the bands before, but I would have to say Greta Van Fleet. I mean like -what is going on there? And how are these dudes winning Grammys? I just don’t fucking get it.

But the last time I said that I during an interview they made the headline of the article something like “Watch out Greta Van Fleet...Mannequin Pussy’s coming for you” and the journalist really did what they could to stir up some sort of drama.

And like, I’m cool with that, get your clicks, whatever. But for an entire day on Instagram and Twitter I had like 13-yearold girls that had avatars of the Greta Van Fleet boys threatening to kill me. You know, they had to stan their man.

It’s just so easy to be an attractive man making mediocre music. You can make an entire career out of that. But for the rest of us, you have to work a lot longer and a lot harder.

Most underrated artist working today?

For a while I would’ve said Phoebe Waller-Bridge [of Fleabag] is underrated, but she just won three Emmys for her writing. So I feel like she’s fucking rated.

Perfect sandwich?

Right now my favorite sandwich to make has been veganaise, tempeh bacon, avocado, sauerkraut, and then I like to add mustard as well. I like a gooey, wet sandwich. Sauerkraut is like, very necessary for me. I love kraut. I feel like the Germans and the Koreans really dominate the world of kraut. But really any sort of fermented cabbage -- I’m here for it. ◊

Most overrated artist working today (in any medium)?

I think I’ve publicly challenged them to

Photo Courtesy of Epitaph Records

Return of the Doodles

BY BEN RICHMAN | OPINIONS EDITOR In the previous issue of The Grape, Opinions Editor Ben Richman discussed the artistry of Terrell’s doodles, focusing on their dialectical nature, and their status as windows into the past, revealing the desires, interests, and artistic skill of the Oberlin students of yesteryear. In this edition of his Mudd Doodles column, Ben ventures back, to see what further secrets he may uncover.

Returning to Mudd for this edition, I found another trend within Terrell’s most underappreciated art form.

In addition to numerous doodles was text, etched into study carrels, wchich often carried motivational themes. Oberlin students will do anything to support each other, whether it means bringing a friend some Decafe chili when they’re sick, or forcing them to stop doing work and go to Splitchers when they’re being boring and lame.

The doodles of Terrell are no exception. I found that many doodles had messages meant to support future students on the verge of panic or distress. Some messages even had warnings and advice.

These messages, though they mean well, can often be hard to decipher. One, for instance, warned that, “People want you to forget that you’re dying so that you can live the life that they want you to live and buy the shit that they want you to buy.” This ambiguous and mysterious warning to students of the future does not give the reader much context or information. Who is this underlined ‘they’ that the author speaks of.

Is it the government? The Illuminati? The good people at Bon Appetit? Either way it is clear that someone is out to get you! Your suspicions were right all along. Those people who called you paranoid just don’t want you to know the truth.

Another supportive, but ominous message reads, “Don’t cry...It will all be over soon.” At first glance, this tiny message in the corner of one second floor carrel seems supportive. It isn’t outlandish to assume that someone in a study carrel might be crying, and this message will hopefully support someone in a trying time. That being said, what exactly will be all over soon? Your troubles? College? Your life? The world? Either way, this doodle reminds us that nothing lasts forever. So why stress? The world will end someday anyway.

The doodles, though meant to console future carrel sitters, often say more about the author than their intended readers. They seem to serve as an anonymous personal diary, of sorts. Like many spaces in Oberlin, the doodles in Terrell can be a place for oversharing. One anonymous writer utilized the carrels as a means of self-expression when they wrote, “I met someone online who is so excited to meet me in person that they are willing to drive three hours.” The author goes on to explain how “We’ve been snapchatting and texting for only about a week now AHHH this is crazy!” This confessional style is common amongst doodles, yet this specific experience was very intriguing. The author is in quite the pickle and decided to express their angst in the void that is the study carrels. This jarring message leaves us wondering, is this person okay? Did they ever meet their online crush? Were they kidnapped? Are they safe?

Unfortunately, we’ll never know.

In the end, it is unclear how helpful these messages truly are, yet as I continued to search through the carrels of Terrell trying to ignore the faint sound of TGIF right outside, I couldn’t help but feel a connection to the struggles and compassion that emanated from the sloppy handwriting. Though the lure of beer and music hung right outside our gloomy library, I kept searching, until I saw a prophetic doodle that seemed as if it was speaking directly to me. The beginning phrase written in pencil read “We all want to leave our mark.” This apt statement was followed by a powerful response in sharpie, “We all want to leave mudd.” ◊

Behind the Scenes with Lala Lala

BY MOLLY BRYSON | EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

“College!” Lillie West of Lala Lala howled into the mic. It was a Friday night, the audience was all buzzed off their ‘Sco ramp cigarettes and dollar High Lifes, and the sudden onset of fall had left the air refreshingly brisk and cool.

“I hope you’re all...learning to seize the means of production!,” West said, and gestured towards the packed crowd of students staring starry-eyed up at her. The final chords of Lala Lala’s breakout hit “Destroyer,” off their newest record The Lamb, reverberated through the room.

West kept her lips on the mic; “That’s what

the tools are here for!” Her voice wobbled a bit in its Britishness, sounding equally punk and self-aware. Over the course of the night, I grew to love that odd contradiction in West’s stage presence—the carefree rock ‘n’ roll mentality combined with the slightly hesitant, almost sardonic consciousness. It gave her, and her music, a raw, relatable quality. “Sometimes I feel like other people,” West sang in her finale, “I don’t remember anymore.” The lyrics sounded to me like the musical version of a shrug: demure and unapologetic all at once.

When I got the chance to talk to West offstage, her demeanor was much the same.

She was smaller than I had anticipated (that’s a 5’1’’ or 2’’ to my mere 5’4½’’), and her clothes were cool but unflashy—faded black jeans, an oversized hoodie, a beanie tucked over her bleach blonde hair. After asking Vivian, the band’s bassist, to order her a salad from the Feve, West motioned for me to follow her outside of the green room (A.K.A. an undisclosed nook somewhere in the maze of Wilder), saying she was too embarrassed to interview in front of her bandmates. It seemed like protocol.

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Molly: You’re from London, but now you’re based in Chicago. How do you feel that these two senses of place emerge and/or (don’t) merge in your music? Or how have they influenced you?

Lillie: I’m not sure about London, because I moved to America when I was like thirteen, so I was never really an adult there. As dramatic as it sounds, I feel like I’m always missing somewhere or someone, because my family and all my

Slow Train Storytellers: An Intergenerational Exercise in Small Town Sincerity

BY SAFFRON FORSBERG | CONTRIBUTOR The first Moth Story Slam took place in a Georgia living room in 1997. It was a night that indulged in the discovery of a new form of untapped artistic intimacy; the inherent hunger we have as people to hear about the lives we’ve never lived, through the mouths of those who have lived them. It was so simple, yet completely new and wildly successful: a room of potential storytellers, an engaging host, a musical guest, perhaps, and just as many beguiled ears. Names are chosen at random, and the lucky storyteller mounts a stage—or, perhaps, traipses across the living room floor—without notes, ready to tell their story. Often, their audience is just a crowd of strangers.

Since that night, The Moth has traversed big cities and cultural alcoves. It has been a voice for anyone with a name, a narrative, and the desire to connect with a

October 11th, 2019

room of people who have decided to spend their evening listening to the intimate details of other people’s lives. As it grew, The Moth began airing on National Public Radio, where a snide, literary child—a future Obie and Grape contributor— heard it on long drives with her father. Needless to say, she was enthralled.

Slow Train Storytellers, a biweekly gathering of storytellers and engaged listeners from the Oberlin community, is a local nod to The Moth tradition.

Housed in Slow Train Café, a favorite local watering hole for apple cider dates and Albino Squirrel-fueled paperwriting sessions, the story slam event is open to everyone over 18 in the Oberlin community. “[What is] important to me is local community. I believe that having a venue for shared stories across all its members helps to strengthen that community,”

writes Slow Train Storytellers founder and author Kelly Garriott Waite. Indeed, the event is not just for college students, but for the community as a whole. Hearing the perspectives of both college students and Oberlin natives is a vital part of building and maintaining a balance between the dynamics of an academic environment and a small-town home to local business owners, families, and working-class people.

“Although I’m a writer, I have no experience whatsoever telling stories in this manner,” Waite informed me when I asked about her relationship to the tradition of storytelling. “My father was the first and best storyteller I knew and remembering the stories he told probably had a lot to do with this idea.” Waite’s admiration of the spoken and written word seems to be one held by many Oberlin students. Whether one is passionate about literature, journalism, songwriting, poetry, or theater, Oberlin College is a campus of storytellers. Slow Train Storytellers is an open invitation for these voices, as well as for those all over the community. In fact, Waite sees an even broader future of inclusivity for Slow Train Storytellers in the days or years ahead. Waite told me she’d love to open the event up to local high schoolers. “[I’d like to start} a series of ‘storytelling workshops’ in which those who are learning to tell stories can come together and share knowledge,” writes

Waite. “Some of the Friday’s storytellers have done just that. It’s been fun watching a story bloom and grow with each telling.”

The first Slow Train Storytellers event took place last Friday. Entering the familiar café on the first cool night of October, the atmosphere resembled what one would expect from a cozy coffee house open mic in a sweater-clad college town. Settling in with my notebook, I soon realized no assumptions I may have held about the event could have measured up to what was in store. The rules are simple: every story must be roughly five minutes, spoken without notes, and revolve loosely around a prompt. Additionally, -+perform, whether that takes the form of an animated campfire dialect, a stuffedstory continued on page 8

Lala Lala (continued) siblings still live in England, but when I’m in England I don’t really feel at home; I miss my community in Chicago. So there’s definitely a sense of that in my work and life. And Chicago—how I feel it influences me—is mostly in terms of the community. Like, the community’s so supportive. I always say it’s just a really good place to be an artist, ‘cause it’s a big city but it’s affordable. There’s so much going on, so many different scenes, and for the most part, you don’t have to stick to just one...you know, people are welcoming.

And everyone just loves music. I feel that there’s not, like, a social pressure aspect. I went to high school in Los Angeles, and as much as I like California, I feel that there are undercurrents of social pressure, and I don’t feel that way in Chicago at all. I feel that everyone is just stoked on each other.

Yeah, I always say that Chicago is, like, the humblest of the big cities. You can be an artist, and you can be a good artist, but you don’t have to be braggy about it.

Right, totally.

Do you feel that the DIY community has been important in your music career?

One hundred percent. We did DIY for so long. When I moved to Chicago, I didn’t know to what extent [the DIY community] existed. I’m a little out of touch with it now, but the scene when I was nineteen or twenty was crazy. There were so many house shows going on—like, five days a week, if not everyday. And I just hadn’t known you could do that! I hadn’t known you could create your own environment in that way. I was just so inspired by it. We DIY toured for so long, like—basements, sleeping on the floor, no money, five people at the show—for so long. I don’t think that I could do that anymore, but I try to hold on to that desire that I had. I wanted to do music so badly that I didn’t even think about those things as being hard— Right. There’s like, a spirit that comes with it.

Yeah, I was just like I love this! And now I’m older, and I really can’t sleep on the floor anymore, I have sciatica [laughs]—but I still love music, and I try to hold onto that “spirit.”

You didn’t start playing music until you were in college at the School of the Art Institute, right?

Well I played a little bit of piano as a kid, but really not a lot. I knew like three guitar chords. And then when I moved to Chicago when I was nineteen or twenty—I really don’t know what implored me to do this—but I just bought a guitar off Craigslist, and I started messing around with it, writing songs, and then...I don’t know...the focus shifted there, and I left school to do [music]. But yeah, I didn’t start as a young person, which I often regret, but that’s just how the world works. You can’t control that kind of thing.

Photo Courtesy of Sam Blieden

Do you think it was being in art school that inspired you to pick up this new hobby, or did art school maybe push you to want to get out of the...more stifling art world?

When I was in high school, I thought I was going to be a really serious oil painter. I was like, this is the only thing that I do. But being in art school and experimenting a lot made me realize that I didn’t necessarily—I just didn’t feel drawn to art anymore, in the same way. Just going to shows [inspired me to start playing music]. Emily Kempf, who is in this band called Dehd—

bands. How do you see yourself factoring in there? Were you ever in the same scene in Chicago?

Yeah, I’m friends with them. Clay (from Twin Peaks) and I collaborate. Every time I go on tour, I’m inspired in a different way. Everyone I go on tour with takes music seriously in a different way, and whatever way that is I find inspiring. It’s never usually what I anticipate. But I know that with Twin Peaks...they’re just so good live, such incredible performers. I’m excited to try and go as hard as them, basically. I feel like that’s gonna be a “rock” tour.

I saw them play in Cleveland a few weeks ago!

They’re so good! Yeah, [Emily] was in this band called Supermagical, or Whitegold, that just completely changed my life. She performed with such energy and had such cool songs. [Seeing her perform] was really the thing that shifted my focus. I was just like: I want to do this, I want to be a part of this. And so I moved into a warehouse and started having shows at my house, and it just snowballed.

I spent my whole adolescence going to Twin Peaks house shows. They do sort of embody this kind of “old school” rock and roll.

Yeah! And then Whitney—they’re all just such good musicians. They’re really masters of their instruments. I’m excited to hang out with all of them.

Do you have any other music inspirations? Was there anything you were listening to when you first started playing that really inspired your music?

When I moved to America, the idea of America was so cool to me. It sounds like a joke, but I would watch Grease and be like “woooah!” Even the way that high school [in America] was structured was so different; it seemed so casual and cool to me. That’s why I was initially drawn to rock music. And bands in L.A.— like, Together Pangea. When I first started playing, I would try to learn all their songs. I was really into Beat Happening when I first started playing, too, ‘cause I could play all their songs, and I was so excited by that. I was really into rock music, punk music...and then just stuff in Chicago.

Do you ever feel—and I don’t mean this to be a cliche “woman in the music industry” question—but do you think there are some politics around there being so many all-dude bands? How do you see yourself amidst that?

I think I used to feel differently. I think it used to be more of a “boys club,” but now people are making more of an effort, and being more aware of [the gender divide]. I’m definitely completely aware that we’re about to go on tour with fifteen boys with guitars from Chicago. But I mean, that’s how their band formed, that’s how their friendships are in relation to their music, and all they can do is bring women—you know, put women on stage—and all I can do is be on stage and do it. But yeah, I think about it a lot less than I used to. It really used to be on my mind, but I feel that things are improving.

Any specific Chicago bands, besides the ones you mentioned?

This band The Funs—you ever see them? They’ve been around for 10 plus years. They have a label called Manic Static out of St Louis, and they put out the first Lala tape ever.

They were really inspiring to me—just a really passionate, sick two piece punk band. NEHI was coming up at that time. The first tour I ever went on I was just hanging out, and I went with Emily from Supermagical and NEHI. And after this you’re touring with Whitney and Twin Peaks, two Chicago

I was looking up Lala Lala on Spotify, and you come up in this Spotifycreated playlist that’s called “Badass Women Musicians,” which also includes people like Courtney Barnett, Mitski, Big Thief...all of these sort of classic women in the indie genre— Yeah—like what does that even mean, “badass?”

Lala Lala (continued)

Yeah, like you wouldn’t make a playlist that’s called “Badass Male Musicians.” It’s like, because you’re women playing rock music then you’re labeled “badass.”

Yeah, it’s really silly. It doesn’t even mean anything.

Recently someone tagged me in a thing that was like “British Openly Bi/Lesbian Indie Rock Muscians with Medium Length Blonde Hair,” and I was like...this is so specific, actually kind of the opposite of “badass.” Yes, the playlists...

I mean, however you define “badassery,” is that something you think about when you’re playing music?

I just try to be free. I feel like life is so stressful, and I just want to be free. I want to be present. I’m also aware that it’s a unique opportunity. I just try to have as much fun as possible. I mean, I also take it really seriously, but I feel like the performance is less of the work, you know?

Obviously we spend a lot of time practicing, but the work is moreso writing the music. Performing is really— The release.

Yeah, the release. And then you’re getting to share it with all the people there.

And I feel like your music wavers between being fun—even the name “Lala Lala” feels whimsical to me—and being kind of haunting and dealing with serious issues. Is that medium something you think about when writing songs?

I don’t think about that too much, but I do feel like it changes. Like recently, I’ve been more into “melodramatic” music—or, for lack of a better term, “epic,” stuff. I used to be more punk, like, “whatever...lala, lala.” The name came from a time when I was also more whimsical, I guess.

When writing lyrics, I try and communicate feelings sincerely without spelling them out. I think that’s what a lot of people are trying to do—to imply what they might be feeling as opposed to telling you “this is sad.” But yeah, I do think a lot about skirting different lines, yeah.

‘Cause, I mean, all music is so much about emotion and personal experience, but to communicate that in a way that isn’t so explicit or explanatory is such a craft. Do you have any advice for young

people trying to pursue music?

That you can do it. That’s my advice, really. Obviously, it’s challenging to create a career in music, but to just play music at all...you totally can. I really think I didn’t start playing music for so long because it didn’t occur to me that it was possible—whether it was because only my male friends played music growing up, or I just thought it was too late. But you can totally do it; you can do anything! I fully intend on doing professional dance in some capacity at some point in my life—even though I’m a bad dancer, I’m not good at dancing—but I just love it, and I want to do it. Just try to remember it’s never too late, I guess.

Is there anything else you wanna say?

I don’t think so…I never know what to say...uh…

That’s okay, I never know what to— Vote for me! [laughs] I don’t know.

No, that’s good! [lowering voice and gesturing a pointer finger] Vote for me. ◊

Meet an Artist: Inside the Life of Ellis Lane (‘21)

BY RACHEL H. SANDERS | CONTRIBUTOR Have you ever wondered what it would be like to make your art hobby into a semi-sustainable college career? In order to get an inside perspective from someone doing just that, I interviewed junior Ellis Lane, an Art History major. I sat down with him to gain his perspective on his journey with art within the college. We focused on how he overcame his trepidations, lack of monetary resources, and his personal thoughts on the future of professional artists. Ellis came to campus with what he considered an impractical hobby, but throughout the years this unavoidable passion has grown into a business, even selling his pieces at local stores like Ginko’s. These days, he is co-running local student org: the Makerspace. He will also soon be opening his own website, where he will share his art with the world.

What does it mean to be a student artist? What does it mean to you?

I have never really heard that term before or associated it with myself. I think of [student art] as an apprenticeship because it feels very true at a college where you can take art classes. I think being a student artist is learning things through your art more than doing it independently. Like the word ‘student’ applies to it in a way of showing that both you are still in the process of learning but you are learning through what you are doing. Which is definitely where I am and what I have been doing which is fun and has been cool.

Have you always considered yourself an artist?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever really considered myself an artist. I’ve always felt like that term should be reserved for people with skill, and I have never considered myself one of those people. And, I think in the past I had a bit more, but in the past two years I have switched to a lot more kinds of traditional crafts. I like pulling in 3D elements like slate and wood and metal working and things that are kind of somewhere between being an art or a craft which is a kind of interesting divide. So I am not sure if I would call myself an artist or a maker or a craftsman or probably

October 11th, 2019

All photos courtesy of Ellis Lane

[At this point in the interview, someone overhears us and asks “I didn’t know you did art. That’s really cool. What kind of stuff?]

This ring is one… I have been making more rings then pens lately.

How did you make it?

So the inside I hammered for fucking ever. Then this part on the outside is walnut wood. Anyway, I’ve done a lot of very simple just wooden rings, but I wanted to get funky, experiment with shapes so I just kind of carved it at a bunch of different angles and it reminded me of the

mountains.

What kind of work do you specialize in? What do you enjoy making? What’s your preferred style?

I quite sincerely don’t have one. When I feel like whenever I get to the point where I feel, to a degree accomplished with a medium or like I figured out how to do it in a technical style that I am pleased with, I’ll immediately switch to a new medium as soon as I feel like I’m good at something, which might be a weird way of going about it but I like it. I want to try to tackle as many different ones as I can and this has been… I don’t know, I like mixing it up. It’s been a good way to go about it for

Ellis Lane (continued)

Does that tie into your use of recycled materials?

I know sometimes you even receive found items from friends; Yeah, absolutely. I think I base a lot of my art on what I just naturally find. I know I got into woodworking because of the people in my immediate area, like friends and like my dad, who’s a carpenter. And because of money limitations I make what I can get for free. So the rings and pens and spoons I do are all either wood I can get from free from dumpsters, you know, local junkyards are willing to give me stuff, other woodworkers who have smaller scraps that they are not using, stuff like that- that’s where I get a lot of my nicer wood. And so that honestly a really good resource. And then just talking to everyone I can who’s in the art community in the area. The arts communities are great, almost everyone seems to know of resources and ways to help, and we all want to help each other.

Veritas, downtown, is always willing to give me free glass which is really nice and got me started in doing oil painting on glass for a stretch which was super fun and something I never tried. It guides what I do, and I think that’s a lot of the reason why I don’t stick with one type of art, it’s all dependent on what I can get my hands on so I just flow with that.

When you came to college, did you have any idea that you were going to continue this passion?

Were you interested in taking art classes right away?

All throughout high school I did a bunch of art and got really into it. I took one art class, but was almost entirely self-taught besides the one. But did competitions and all that and had a good time. But towards the end of high school I very much viewed the idea of being an artist as impractical and wanted to get more into academia. So coming here I wanted to triple major, like an idiot, with art history and archeology and anthropology, so still keeping to the arts and the humanities but in a way that I felt was more reliable. And I didn’t really realize that I would be able to legitimately make a career out of art, and I don’t think I realized that until I able to start selling and get traction in the area. I think part of that is I don’t like holding onto my art. I am happy to sell it, give it away- I would probably prefer to sell it at this point. But I really

like giving it away, whether that’s attached to a monetary value or not. And honestly if I don’t find a new home for it, I trash it. I’ve thrown pieces of slate and smashed them and it’s kind of cool because sometimes you can find a new art form in that. And I’ll take pieces of old art and just recycle them like old wooden stuff I’ve done, carved something new out of it. I don’t like the stagnancy in a lot of art so I like to reuse material and give it new life in a different sense and with a different form.

How do you go about making your pieces? Do you start with an idea or does the materials take you towards your idea?

It varies. I don’t have a very straight forward answer on that. I would say this ring it was just me messing around. I was getting tired of doing just plain circular rings. So with the others I was focusing on technical skills finding ways to make them stronger, and with this one I was at the point where I felt like I kind of figured out my technical skills on how to make it work and I wanted to make it look weird.

So I just carved at different angles and once I started doing that it reminded me of the mountains in my home city. With this one I was feeling that homesickness a little bit and based it off the mountains and the rivers in my homeland. And other ones, I would say mostly I start with a piece, whatever the medium is, because my hands are bored. And then the idea will eventually come to me as I keep going. I just kind of mess around until it looks bearable.

I know that you once had a partnership to sell at Ginkos. How’s that going and how did that start?

How do you make a connection with the local businesses nearby?

I think just talking got me there, very broadly speaking.

When I first got here, I went to Ginkos because it was the only local art store. So that is one of the first places I went. And just connected with them. I live in a town with a bunch of artists so, I was just kind of looking for something like that here and hoping to have a kind of similar community and not really expecting that to turn into a business opportunity. So that was really nice and that started towards the end of last year. I only started woodworking last year, so it once I kind of figured out how to make pens and brought them in to her - or explained my idea and then she wanted to look at them, and brought

them in to her. And that is going well, I was actually went there right before the class that I came from and picked up another check which is always exciting. It’s always a little frustrating because it’s never as much as the time and materials cost that you put into it, but that feeling of someone being like, “wow that’s an art piece. I’m going to spend my money on it” that’s such a great feeling that I never really experienced before. And these rings actually are going to be ones I’m going to start selling there very soon.

Anything else to add?

I would highly recommend the Makerspace. It’s really such a great place to do stuff like this! We have open access tools for everything from the woodworking that I do, to things like 3D printing and electronics. If you have any interest, reach out to us at oc3d@oberlin.edu- and keep a look out for our upcoming posters with new open hours!

More of his Ellis’s work is being put up on his website, augeanlime.com, where he has examples of various mediums and ideas he’s explored. ◊

Slowtrain Storytellers (continued)

bear outfitted with a sunhat and feather boa referred to as “grandma,” or the distribution of Good N’ Plenties.

The prompt this week was “This Mask I Wear,” and no story seemed to don the same one. My fellow listeners and I sat through stories of carnivorous cats and the small-town citizens they haunt, Edwidge Danticat at the Finney Chapel, a heartfelt rendition of “God Bless America,” and the ritualistic burial of a family pet that laid the storyteller’s “need for normalcy” to rest in the process. At the end of the night, the audience votes for their favorite storyteller, and the winner chooses a charity to donate half of the night’s proceeds to. This week, it was the Friendship League of Lorain County— a non-profit no-kill, humane society.

This first round of storytellers was made up of older Oberlin citizens, some of whom had been Oberlin residents most of their lives. As a Southerner and firstyear Obie who has only lived in the state of Ohio for a month, the ability to place my little campus in a context that extended beyond that of the Mudd Center circa 2019 was refreshing. This night allows us to celebrate retaining the character of small-town America: by appreciating Oberlin not only as a campus, but also as a small-town ecosystem, we embrace this place as home to an everexpanding variety of narratives. Organized gatherings like that of Waite’s Slow Train Storytellers is a great example of community initiatives that encourage the socialization of a diverse array of people that occupy the same place, but may never have had the chance to engage otherwise.

This being said, Waite is eager to welcome younger storytellers to upcoming events, especially at a college like Oberlin, where creativity is a vital part of the community.

Placing a stack of flyers in my hand as I left Slow Train that night, Waite let me know that this is a space available to everyone.

The theme for the next Slow Train Storytellers event is “The Best Worst Lie”. It will take place on October 18th at 7 PM at Slow Train Café. If you’d like to tell a story, contact Kelly Garriott Waite at kgwaite@gmail.com. ◊

The Pros and Cons of Going Out in Oberlin

BY JASON HEWITT | STAFF WRITER

Going out in Oberlin can be a huge challenge sometimes. There are so many factors that go into how the night could turn out. The night might be one of the most exciting times you’ll ever have at Oberlin, or it might end up with you going home looking salty because the functions just… weren’t it. A lot of us have experienced both, and personally, I experience the latter a lot more than the former here at Oberlin.

So I’m going to talk about the pros and cons of going out here, because it’s a topic that’s discussed a bit on campus, but it hasn’t really been covered by The Grape… until now.

Pros: Going out can be one really fun time. It’s a great opportunity to kick back and have fun with some of your closest friends here. I mean, why wouldn’t you want to hang out with the homies on a Friday or Saturday night? Also, we have Splitchers on Wednesdays!

Sometimes, the music at the functions is actually lit.

That’s the beauty of going to a music school. Everyone’s taste in music is seemingly higher at Oberlin, so there’s a good chance that the tunes are banging. Sometimes you just need to dance out the stresses of the week on a

Illustration Courtesy of Sam Merrick

“THE NIGHT MIGHT BE ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES YOU’LL EVER HAVE AT OBERLIN, OR IT MIGHT END UP WITH YOU GOING HOME LOOKING SALTY BECAUSE THE FUNCTIONS JUST… WEREN’T IT.” crammed stage filled with drunk, happy Obies.

Another dope thing about going out is when you randomly run into people and end up going on a spontaneous adventure with them for that night. You may run into a friend group that you haven’t really been able to hang out with for a while. Those are always the best experiences, especially if the functions you end up going to end up being a solid time.

And then, of course… seeing that special “someone.”

Ahhh, yes, the hookups. If going to a party here ends up being more of a snooze fest, at least there’s an opportunity to be intimate with someone attractive for the night. It’s college, after all, and everyone’s hormones are all over the place. Plus, we are STRESSING out here! Stress relief is important, so hey, do what you have to do! ;) Cons: So, you could go through all the trouble of going to a lame party or you could just stay home and catch up on some of your favorite shows. Besides, parties at Oberlin are unbearably predictable. They usually get shut down

by S&S by the time they are actually (somewhat) lit.

Boom, there’s that. What else could go wrong about going out? Well, as a senior, I’ve been here long enough to witness and experience some really bad nights here.

You could end up getting too drunk and start puking at the party your crush is at. There might be someone you can’t stand at the function you’re going to, and

October 11th, 2019

that “someone” ends up ruining your night with their presence. That has definitely happened many times here. Now that winter is coming around we’ll all have to deal with the dreaded fiasco of trying to find your coat in a dark house. Not to mention that walking to a mediocre house party in the snow isn’t always worth it.

When it comes to Splitchers, you have to consider a few things. First of all, it’s on a Wednesday night, which means that there is a good chance that you have class the following day. Is it really worth the extra stress to go to Splitchers, an event that isn’t always a banger?

What if you went there and it ended up being boring?

You would probably be salty about going out in the first place when you could have relaxed in bed or got ahead in work. There’s also another important factor that hasn’t really been considered yet: music. What if you hate country music and the Splitchers theme is country related? Maybe you might not know what the theme is and you pull up to… country music. That would be an instant turn off to me. (No disrespect to country music, by the way… “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd is one of my favorite songs!) There are many negatives to going out that match the positives.

Going out in Oberlin can be a hit or miss move.

My advice? Hit up your friends first. See what’s going on that night and try to link up with your friends to pregame together first. That way, you all can enjoy that night around people you enjoy, no matter how boring the later function is. Stay lit and stay safe, Obieland! ◊

Think One Person Can Change the World? Really?

I was never one of those people who took it upon themselves to apply to 27 different schools during the mind-numbing catastrophe of college application season. Being the shameless self-aggrandizing egotist that I am, I’ll say that this is because I was smart. Some of my prototypical-student friends over at Penn might say this was because I was “lazy,” or something like that. Right. I’m sure they’re having oodles of fun.

Anyway, since I could count the number of schools I applied to with less than two whole hands, the mailslot of my South Philadelphia abode never entered a state of perpetual bombardment by tackily-colored, mawkishly cheerful college brochures.

However, of the relatively few college brochures I did receive during that three-month frenzy, there is one in particular that stands out in my bewildered memory: not necessarily for its aesthetic appeal (it was definitely just as vapidly unsettling as all the others), but for the effect it produced upon me.

If you haven’t guessed it by now, this brochure was for Oberlin. Self-important white block letters had encroached upon a pretty yet forgettable sky-blue background, reading “Think One Person Can Change The World? So Do We.” Wow. As previously noted, I am a shameless selfaggrandizing egotist; so, duh, I was naturally and instantaneously captivated by this flagrant flirtation with my ego.

This initial infatuation with Oberlin’s seductive brochure served as one of the first of many events that would eventually lead to my arrival on campus.

However, I never quite stopped to consider what its origins were. What had been the source of my unabashed infatuation that would permanently alter the course of my college application process, and, consequently, my life?

I think the answer to this is a relatively simple one: Oberlin’s brochure was in direct communication with a preconceived fantasy of mine -- the fantasy that I, but one individual, could somehow control and direct the arbitrary and capricious whims of this spinning

SLOGAN IMAGE FROM PROJECT BY KIERRA NGUYEN

BY FIONNA FARRELL | STAFF WRITER

simple and unadulterated luck, et cetera. This was no fact to lament, I thought; it was simply the plain truth of reality. And so, contrary to the implications of the brochure and my initial dalliance with its text, I decided that maybe I wasn’t really capable of changing the world.

But then I began to wonder. Did other people think the same way? Because, after all, Oberlin’s brochure did essentially “work” on me, even if its allure wasn’t permanent. Did other Oberlin students believe Oberlin’s slogan to speak the truth -- namely, that one individual really can change the world?

I asked some of my friends for their insights on the matter. As she sat impassively reclined on our tawdry treasure, the Fairkid couch, first-year Hannah Calhoun said “I think [change] starts with one person and gains momentum through other people.” A few minutes later, reclined on the very same couch, fellow first-year Sadie Pasco-Pranger noted “I don’t think one person on their own can change the world, but I think that if you take a group effort and you take one person out, just that one person’s input is gonna make the outcome different.” Fifth-year Tori Tedeschi-Adams (removed from the couch, in email form) stated “I don’t think one single person can change the world, because I think every action is a result of many actions prior to or in congruence with it.”

The consensus seemed to be that, no, perhaps one person by a solely individual means cannot change the world; however, change would not be possible without this individual’s, or a group of individuals’, prior or contingent efforts.

Both fantasy and reality permeate this curious new way of thinking; one is not necessarily diverted from the “fantasy” of hoping to brazenly establish change throughout the world. They merely are made aware that they cannot go about it entirely alone. We seem to have been presented with a new, healthy, and productive equilibrium of sorts.

It becomes compelling to consider, then: what is Oberlin’s motive in convincing us otherwise? Is Oberlin

“OBERLIN’S BROCHURE WAS IN DIRECT COMMUNICATION WITH A PRECONCEIVED FANTASY OF MINE -- THE FANTASY THAT I, BUT ONE INDIVIDUAL, COULD SOMEHOW CONTROL AND DIRECT THE ARBITRARY AND CAPRICIOUS WHIMS OF THIS SPINNING BLUE ORB. BASICALLY, THAT I COULD MAKE THE INDIFFERENT UNIVERSE DIFFERENT.” blue orb. Basically, that I could make the indifferent universe different.

While staring at the cover of Oberlin’s brochure, this notion did not seem like some wildly outlandish fantasy. Instead, it appeared to be an imminent and unchangeable reality: a lustrous promise in the works.

This brochure was promising me that I was going to change the world.

Promises are always easier to make than to keep.

When my mental faculties were in check, when my ego was no longer being tantalized by a hackneyed sky-blue pamphlet, I began to think a bit, and I began to laugh.

Come on, one individual -- by what means, by what power, by what, like, motivation?

Granted, perhaps certain individuals did “change the world” in the past, but they were all, like super smart!

Or they had the help of big institutions! I didn’t have what they had, whether it came to brains, resources,

hoping to mirror the sentiment of its students via its slogan, or have we all been collectively duped, our egos flirted with and effectively courted?

There is no right answer: questions like this only exist to wedge us into dim and inescapable corners. It is undeniable, though, that in an age where hopelessly frenzied 17-year-olds would “kill” to get into their dream school, this dream school must offer something truly and unequivocally remarkable in return. Or else, all value applied to the labors of the tortuous application process completely vanishes. And that is when true catastrophe would ensue.

Oberlin’s slogan is but a cautionary force against the future unfurling of such catastrophe. If individuals are tantalized by the promise of “changing the world,” if only for a series of moments, then they will not bemoan their pre-enrollment Sisyphean labor or their decision to come here. Rather, they will embrace each prospect

willingly, eagerly, and with ever-open arms.

This is not to say that disillusionment will not persist, and that Oberlin’s slogan is removed from the scaffold.

The eyes of many are very much open.

“When I was in my junior and senior years of high school, I really wanted to go to Oberlin. I was embarrassed by the poster [with the slogan] they stuck by the college counselling center. All of my friends thought it was cheesy, and I agree.” says Lily Madore, ’23.

When I heard Lily say this, I laughed, because I immediately understood where she and her friends were coming from: Oberlin’s slogan can quite aptly be considered “cheesy” -- cheesy because it flirts with our egos so unscrupulously; cheesy because it knows what it wants, and it knows how to get it. And for the most part, it did. ◊

The Truth About RuPaul’s Drag Race

BY BEN RICHMAN | OPINIONS EDITOR RuPaul enters the spotlight of the main stage in a signature poofy blonde wig with a tight black lace gown while her song “Cover Girl” plays in the background. After some light pre-written banter with judges, she says one of her many signature catchphrases: “Gentlemen start your engines, and may the best woman win!” It’s the second season of All Stars and today the queens will be presenting their own original drag race merch that fits in with their personal brand. The theme of the episode is branding, something that RuPaul admits she is quite good at. At one moment during the judges critiques, she goes as far as to claim that she is a “marketing genius,” exclaiming, “I marketed subversive drag to a hundred billion motherfuckers in the world.” Though the statement has a joking tone, there is a kernel of truth in every joke, and this is no exception. RuPaul is definitely a marketing genius, however, I’m not sure the drag RuPaul is marketing is that subversive.

When RuPaul started RuPaul’s Drag Race in 2009, it had a much smaller budget and a much smaller audience. The challenges were simpler and the drag seemed to be a bit more thrown together.

Though it was much less polished, the scrappy drag that the queens displayed had a genuine realism. The original season is so different to what the show is today that the winner of season one, Bebe Zahara Benet, was asked to come back for All Stars 3 In order to prove that she could still compete with the show’s current standards; this includes artsy and creative interpretations of challenges, pristine make-up, wig ru-veals, and surprises galore that keep the growing audience of straight women, gays, and drag brunch attendees engaged.

As the show developed, the focus became about displaying drag as a challenging and entertaining artform that rewards ingenuity and artistic skill.

However, this framework has a very narrow view of drag that for the most part rewards skillful transformation of cisgendered gay men into believable and polished drag divas, fitting in with RuPaul’s own glamazon style of drag, which has fueled her career for the past three decades. Some queens have pushed the envelope a bit, creating avant-garde, club kid inspired looks that push out of the glamazon box, incorporating elements of performance art that lean towards the absurd and weird.

Even still, queens are often punished for masculine or androgynous looks, and are still seen as men dressing up as women. This way of looking at drag not only silences the experience of trans contestants on Drag Race, it also undermines the subversive elements of drag, making it a skill based competition, rather than a subversion of gender norms. Drag’s satirical exaggeration of gender has the ability to expose the ways that gender is constructed. However, when presented in such a narrow view, the subversion of gender norms

October 11th, 2019

is lost along the way. The goal of Drag Race, of course, is not to subvert gender norms, but is ultimately to entertain, and it is very successful at that. There is nothing wrong with entertainment for entertainment's sake, but at what cost?

RuPaul has a rocky, at best, relationship with the trans community, a community whose existence and expression has created the “subversive drag” that RuPaul has been able to market ever since her first hit “Supermodel (You Better Work)” hit the charts in 1992, where she first debuted her glamazon style drag to the mainstream public.

RuPaul, out of drag, has said many times that drag is just a job for him. He won't dress in drag unless he’s getting paid. He has also been criticized multiple times for transphobic gags on the show in which he uses words like “tranny” and “shemale”. This, combined with the gay-man in women’s clothing narrative of drag that RuPaul markets, leaves out and alienates a large portion of the queer community who birthed drag as an artform.

Ever since the 90’s, RuPaul has become the name everyone thinks of when they think of drag. Anytime a movie or TV show is looking to feature a drag queen, RuPaul is first in line. Now, as RuPaul’s Drag Race spreads across the world and gains mainstream popularity, the drag she showcases has become the standard for drag across

the world. She has created a whole marketplace and industry for drag, in which her contestants can have successful careers solely based on their appearance on the show. She has made drag accessible to millions and made it easier for people to make successful and long lasting careers in the entertainment industry from doing drag.

Every RuPaul contestant has their own original music, and many even have their own TV shows and movies.

In the ten years that Drag Race has been on the air the commercialization of gay culture has grown to all time highs. From the corporate sponsorship of Pride to the sudden spike in token gay characters in Netflix original content, it seems that queerness has become marketable in new ways then ever before. Though this gay marketability has done wonders for queer visibility in media, it ignores and distracts from the struggles that many queer people still face. This growing visibility does nothing to prevent the continued killing of trans women of color and the internal racism within the gay community. In many ways RuPaul’s own success is tied to the corporitzation of queer culture. Though RuPaul has opened the door for hundreds of talented drag queens, she has also closed the door for many that don’t fit her specific standards. ◊

Imposter Syndrome: An Oberlin Institution

BY ANNA HARBERGER | LAYOUT EDITOR

In the vague humidity of premature autumn, you walk down Main Street on your way to Wilder. You pass the Apollo where, instead of Hustlers, the charmingly off-white marquee displays The Exorcist and The Godfather Part II, in black block letters. Passersby look spiffy in Maderas shirts of the orange or green variety. Just as you cross the street to head (diagonally) through Tappan, you catch the hushed humming of ABBA’s recently released hit “Waterloo” pulsating from the rhythmic bobbing of a feathered blonde head of hair. The year is 1974 and while you head to PSYCH 100, you are unaware of how your assistant professor, Pauline Rose Clance, is about to alter the lexicon of popular culture, and the world of modern psychology with her introduction of the term “Imposter Syndrome.”

Clance coined the term “Imposter Syndrome,” or “Imposter Phenomenon,” during her time on campus in the mid 70s after spending time with young people at Oberlin.

On her informational website, Clance describes both what Imposter Phenomenon is and how she came to define it as such.

Imposter Syndrome is characterized by individuals feeling like their successes have been due to some “mysterious fluke or luck or great effort. Common to many who experience Imposter Syndrome is a sinking fear that any and all achievements are due to ‘breaks’ and not the result of their own ability and competence.” This forces individuals to go to tremendous lengths to emulate the win they just stumbled upon. More common than not, though, there seems to be a constant, foreboding

sound and reasonable advice? And to that, Reader, I agree! In lieu of my (probably) bad tips, let us direct our attention to the Big Dogs: the scary, corporate monolithic journalistic entity that is Time Magazine and see what they think we should do to fight those inner Imposter Syndrome-ridden demons.

In their concise piece on the subject, journalist Abigail Abrams discusses several psychological tools one can use when dealing with Imposter Syndrome, with help from Valerie Young, expert and author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women.

“One of the first steps to overcoming impostor feelings is to acknowledge the thoughts and put them in perspective....You can also reframe your thoughts....It can also be helpful to share what you’re feeling with trusted friends or mentors. Most people experience moments of doubt, and that’s normal. The important part is not to let that doubt control your action,”Abrams wrote.

Still not convinced? We can consult our wise fourth-year friends, like Jacey, for some sweet, Oberlin-specific advice.

“Fake it till you make it. I just go through the motions, even if it feels mechanical somedays. You just have to keep moving. That’s literally how I got through my four years at Oberlin… Also remind yourself that you're good at stuff. Take time to look at what you’re doing and be like ‘that’s fucking dope,’ which is hard to do. It’s way easier said than done. But we all are smart people, we can [all] see [that], we just don’t want to,” Davidson remarked.

Whether you want to hear it from the lips of Time Magazine or a fellow classmate, no

“IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS CHARACTERIZED BY INDIVIDUALS FEELING LIKE THEIR SUCCESSES HAVE BEEN DUE TO SOME “MYSTERIOUS FLUKE OR LUCK.’” feeling that they will “blow it” the next time around.

“When I began to teach at a prominent liberal arts college with an excellent academic reputation, I heard similar fears from students who had come for counseling. They had excellent standardized test scores grades and recommendations. One of them said, ‘I feel like an impostor here with all these really bright people.’ In discussing these students, Dr. Suzanne Imes and I coined the term “Impostor Phenomenon” and wrote a paper on the concept,” Clance writes.

Though 45 years have passed, Imposter Syndrome still continues to infect the psyches of Oberlin students and beyond. To assess the seemingly unending prevalence of Imposter Syndrome amongst my classmates and peers, I took to Instagram polls like any respectable Screen-ager.

Out of my 1,154 followers (feel free to platonically slide into my DMs @sicko. phant) approximately 300 young people of high school and collegiate age viewed my Instagram story. Of 129 participants, 71 percent of individuals responded that they had heard of the term Imposter Syndrome. 95 percent of my followers were unaware that the term was coined on the Oberlin campus. Out of a group of 108 participants, 90 percent struggle with feelings of inadequacy and 83 percent agree that they are “faking it till they make it” and that “we are all faking it till they make it.” Unsurprising for our liberal arts campus, 80 percent of participants (52 people) were willing to sit down with me to talk about their own run-ins with Imposter Syndrome throughout college and their greater lived experiences.

One of those individuals was Jacey Davidson ‘20, a fourth year with a heart of gold and proclivity towards art history. We sat down on a brisk Friday afternoon to talk about Oberlin culture and why it feels so conducive to experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

“We are really smart and really driven people, and I think smart people are more prone to insecurities because we think a lot...We do a lot of dwelling in our own heads, which makes it hard. We also are in a place where there isn’t a ton of stimuli, so that gives you a lot of space and time to be with yourself– which can be really nice, but can also be really jarring at first,” Davidson commented.

So, where do we go from here? At this point in the article, you might be wondering Anna, how are you, a wildly anxious first-year who doesn’t remember a time in her life when she did not experience Imposter Syndrome, in any way qualified to give

one is pretending Imposter Syndrome is easy to go through. Especially coupled with factors like age, individual experience, and mental and physical health, Imposter Syndrome can feel as suffocating as anything else. Until we all reach a point of collective care for one another that doesn’t feel “weird” or “performative,” feelings of inadequacy will continue to serve as a major cultural aspect of our campus.

While being earnest and honest when giving others validation is crucial, it is time to mobilize so we can find that kind of support within ourselves. ◊

Artists Who Turned Oberlin Gigs Down

BY LEVI DAYAN I STAFF WRITER

Any Oberlin tour guide will be quick to bring up the big names concert board has brought over the past few years -- Lizzo just last year! Kendrick!

Esperanza Spalding! But what about the ones that said no? Here are eight artists that turned Oberlin gigs down.

1. Taylor Swift Swift rejected an offer to perform at Oberlin, claiming the college is “not gay enough”.

2. Post Malone Malone wrote in his email to concert sound that “this campus is stinky enough as it is lol” but that “Germany is dope, love all the braids (hair braids like mine but also bread braids) so keep

living and loving, y’all. Guten tag”.

3. Kanye West West cancelled a show due to a scheduling conflict with another soonto-be cancelled show. In a statement, Pib Bodger, head of Concert Board, said “This honestly might be for the best, I didn’t have the energy for the discourse.

I mean, if I ever have to fucking sit through another ‘Can you separate the art from the artist’ open forum I’m gonna go full Kanye West on you all.”

4. Insane Clown Posse The group refused out of frustration with Oberlin students’ tendency to confuse Freudian psychoanalysis with postmarxism.

5. Justin Bieber The recently-married artist refused to perform because these days he mostly just walks down streets with Haily Baldwin, both wearing complicated baggy clothes and sneakers and earrings and sometimes hats. Bieber further expressed concern about the recent HFMD outbreak, which could prove to be deadly when mixed in with his already devastating years-long battle with lice.

6. Bon Iver Iver is magically transported to the Harkness bathroom every time someone says his name three times in a mirror. Consequently, he associates Oberlin with feelings of intense confusion and rage.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but it needs to stop. Say my name a hundred more times--I’m not playing a fucking show.”

7. Katy Perry Perry responded to the inquiry, saying “I feel like Liberal Arts kids have not embraced me in the same way that they have Carly Rae Jepsen. A younger me might care, but you know what? I don’t need you guys. I’m just gonna play a show at Duke and make a bunch of M-O-N-E-Y. Rawr.”

8. Carly Rae Jepsen “Don’t love the idea of having my own lyrics for Emotion explained to me by a sophomore philosophy guy,” Jepsen wrote. Fair, Carly! We<3 u. ◊

Matisse’s Ghost Really Not Thrilled About Art Rental Anonymous Contributor: Oberlin Visit

BY MATTEO DEBOLE | CONTRIBUTOR

BY ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTOR

Henri Matisse’s lithograph Head, from Visages, is a simple line depiction of a woman’s head. Large, cat-like eyes face directly out. Long hair flows over her shoulders. She poses with her arms coyly held on her neck. This is a piece of subtle beauty: her expression is timeless, her identity unknown, yet, so familiar. This is a piece that deserves to be displayed in a museum, to be seen by all and any who are willing to face her, to stare into those eyes, to take in the youthfulness and joy that is in her face.

However, as fate has willed it, for the next six months, this piece will not be hanging in a museum. Rather, it will be Command Hook’d to a thin wooden wall directly above the cum-stained sheets of 2nd year Lucas Gilbert-Green’s dorm room bed, sandwiched between a Medical Amnesty poster, a mini

I had to submit this piece anonymously because of the fuss it might cause if I put my name on it. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “My Best Friend is a person who will give me a book I have not read”. Well, here’s an article you haven’t read from someone who knows a great deal about Abraham Lincoln...someone who, you could say, has spent a great deal of time with him.

Anyway, I visited Oberlin last week with my son, Dylan-Dashiel (all of my children have hyphenated first names as well), and it was a jolly good time.

He went on a tour, while I posted up in Tappan wearing my Phantom Thread bowtie, approaching passersby, taking off my glasses and shouting “Why yes I am, the very same.” Again, I don’t want to give away who I am--that would be just the biggest PR headache. And I hate the word famous, because it feels so icky and braggy, so let’s just say that according to my Wikipedia page, I

October 11th, 2019

basketball hoop, and a photo of the cast of Jason Bourne.

Consequently, in a bespoke, mahogany coffin, buried six feet below the ground at the Monastère Notre Dame de Cimiez, near Nice, France, Henri Matisse himself was recently heard literally rolling in his grave, letting out large groans, quiet whimpers, and deep sobs which have lasted since the first Command Hook Strip was placed onto Gilbert-Green’s dorm room wall. Matisse’s lamenting has been noticed by the entirety of the cemetery, visitors and residents alike, with his wife Noellie (buried right next door) noting that “he hasn’t cried like this since a pubescent boy at the museum joked that ‘The Parakeet and the Mermaid’ (1952) looked ‘just like [his] pubes!’” ◊

have been hailed by many as “one of the greatest and most widely respected actors of all time”.

In the info session, the guide emphasized that Oberlin students come from a diverse array of backgrounds, which was great to hear because I had something of a tough childhood myself.

Sometimes my mum would turn to me and say things like “Daniel Day-Lewis, you’ll NEVER be an actor”, “Daniel Day-Lewis, you’ll NEVER win an Oscar or be knighted by the queen”. But I persevered, just as Oberlin students persevere.

In conclusion, this is a fine institution you’ve got here. Will DylanDashiel Day-Lewis be attending?

Almost certainly not. But I’ll never forget the lovely people I met, and they certainly will never forget me. Okay, fine, what the hell. I’ll say it--Daniel Day-Lewis. I’m Daniel Day-Lewis. The actor. ◊

Ask Sally Salad!

BY SALLY SALAD | SALAD MACHINE to my family? I can’t bear the idea of telling them over the phone, but maybe that’s the right thing to do?

Best, Denise W.

Dear Sally, My partner and I have been together, happily, for three years now. We’ve never explored non-monogamy, but my partner has recently been expressing interest. All of the conversations we’ve had have been super positive, but I’m not sure I’m as ready to open our relationship up as my partner is. I don’t want to hold them back, but I’m also afraid of losing them.

Should I put my foot down and risk resentment? Or go with it and see where it leads? I really need answers, Sally!

Sincerely, Marcia T.

ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 000674: BASE: SPINACH TOPPINGS: SHREDDED CARROTS KALAMATA OLIVES PARMESAN CHICKEN QUINOA DRESSING: RANCH

ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 008972: BASE: KALE TOPPINGS: CROUTONS FETA OLIVES CHICKPEAS GRAPE TOMATO DRESSING: BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE

ENJOY YOUR DOSE OF DAILY FRESHNESS!

Illustration Courtesy of Dasha Klein

HAVE A NICE DAY! * Dear Sally, This week I had my first test of college. I’m in Geology 100, and even though I studied really hard for the test, I still got a D. I’m really worried about telling my parents. Before I left they told me if I didn’t get at least a 3.5 average, they’d be very upset. Do you have any tips for how I should break the news

* Dear Sally, I’m writing to ask about my son. He’s not performing well in school, has few friends, and generally spends the night in his room as soon as he gets home, only coming out for dinner.

We used to have such a nice relationship, but ever since he went through puberty and entered high-school, my wife and I don’t know how to get through to him. Last weekend, I dragged him out of his room to go run some errands with me, just to get him out of the house. It was difficult to get him talking, but after a few hours, he let slip that he’s dating someone online. They’ve never met in person, and she actually lives several states away. Do you have some advice on how to get a quiet child to open up, and start getting out there a little more? And what sort of support can we give him in this first “relationship”? Frankly, my wife and I are at a loss.

Yours, Michael R. ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 0002981: BASE: MIXED GREENS TOPPINGS: BELL PEPPERS PLUM TOMATOES GARLIC CROUTONS RED CABBAGE CUCUMBER DRESSING: HONEY LEMON VINAIGRETTE ENJOY YOUR MEAL! * Dear Sally, Forgive me for saying so, but I’ve noticed that a lot of your advice is very similar. I was going to write in to ask how I should explain to my kids that the family pet had passed away, but it seems like your responses are pretty rote.

Sometimes I’m sure a good salad can be a nice pick-me-up after a tough day or a hard conversation, but it registered as a little out of touch last week when your advice to a man whose mother is showing early signs of Alzheimer’s was “BASE: KALE, TOPPINGS: GRILLED CHICKEN, CORN, OLIVES, CROUTONS, DRESSING: GREEN GODDESS.” So I guess my question is: are you sentient? Or really just a robot that makes salads on command. If you don’t understand human emotion, why do you have a column?

All the best, Cindy B.

OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER OUT OF ORDER. ◊

Further Reading:

- DEPARTMENT MIGHT BE NO MORE BY 2023 DUE TO THE ENTIRE COLLEGE CLOSING - ADD/DROP IS OVER ON TINDER TOO - REPORT: THAT GIRL I WAS FLIRTING WITH TURNED HER READ RECEIPTS ON - OPED: KIDS IN MY DAY USED TO FEEL EUPHORIA, NOW THEY JUST WATCH IT - OBERLIN INSTITUTES MANDATORY VIBE CHECKS - RARE “I HAD A GOOD DAY TODAY” POST SPOTTED ON OBERLIN STUDENT’S FINSTA - DORM ROOMS ARE NOW PANOPTICONS TO SAVE MONEY ON RAS - BREAKING: THERE’S ALSO A PARTY ON UNION TONIGHT IF YOU GUYS WANT TO GO TO THAT - INSANE SOPHOMORE STRIKES UP CONVERSATION WITH A STRANGER AT THE ‘SCO THE WAY PEOPLE AT BARS IN REAL LIFE DO - HUGE CBD OIL SPILL IN THE PACIFIC RESULTS IN A BUNCH OF SUPER CHILLED OUT PELICANS - FOURTH MEAL IS NOW JUST A CART IN THE SCIENCE CENTER WITH ALL THE DAY’S UNSOLD DECAFE GRAPE CUPS ◊

Illustration coutesy of Ian Ruppenthal

In a new column for Bad Habits, Sally Salad, a new Decafe employee, answers questions from our readership about life, love, and balancing work and family. Write in with your questions to thegrape@oberlin.edu !