‘The Meg 2: The Trench’

A few years ago, when I found that 2018’s summer blockbuster “The Meg” was getting a sequel, I staunchly told myself that I couldn’t even be paid to watch it. Today, I was paid to watch “The Meg 2: The Trench.” Isn’t it funny how things work out sometimes? While the film’s predecessor was a dense, yet fun killer shark adventure, “The Meg 2” doubles down on the original in all the wrong ways, putting the “bust” in blockbuster.

While the plot of this film should be as simple as a comically large killer shark wreaking havoc, it seems that we’re not allowed that luxury. For some reason, well over an hour of this movie’s runtime is dedicated not to the shark, but to a bizarre subplot about terrorists that goes nowhere. Their motives are somewhat unclear, presumably greed, but the film wastes as much time as it can dropping exposition and padding out the runtime with these characters who ultimately serve no purpose to the greater picture.

I’m quite convinced they could be completely photoshopped out of the film. If DC fans can beg for the Snyder Cut of “Justice League,” I can beg for the Shark Cut of “The Meg 2.”

However, when the movie actually deals with the shark, it has some fun moments that you’ve likely already seen. If you’re still interested in seeing “The Meg 2,” go take a look at the trailer for the film. Seems fun, right?

Unfortunately, the most exciting moments of the movie take place solely within the confines of this trailer. Like a siren’s song, the fun-filled montage coerced me back into a second round with this franchise, only to find that trailer was the best thing the film could bring me, every twist and turn the movie had been ruined! As Radiohead once sang, there’s no alarms and no surprises in this film.

While the tone fluctuates between a self-aware romp through the ocean and taking itself way too seriously, even the actors seem bored. When the actors can’t even bring themselves to pretend to be interested in the same plot beats playing out in an ouroboros-esque cycle of pain, you know you have a problem on your hands. entertainment.ed@ocolly.com

Undoubtedly “The Meg 2: The Trench” is a massive step down from the original, which was already low enough. The acting was bland, the scarce moments of fun are all shown in promotional material, and the plot is so convoluted I frequently forgot it was a shark film. While I’d love to call it a B-movie, I’m afraid that it’s far below C-level.

If you’d like to support “The O’Colly,” there are plenty of ways to do so. However, if you’d like to support the author of this article specifically, please do not see “The Meg 2” so I can finally be free of this blasted franchise and the sequel tease for “The Meg 3” never comes to fruition.