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The Nosy Parker in my monastery
Curiosity, most of the time, consists in taking an intelligent interest in what is going on around us.
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But if carried to excess, it can become bad manners and insensitivity, both of which almost inevitably tip over into sinfulness.
‘Custody of the eyes’ is something that was and still is taught to a Carmelite novice. Its purpose is to ensure that at all times she is concentrating on God: not necessarily having high-flown thoughts on theology while looking at a blank wall, but ensuring she is not dispersing her energies by nosily looking around at what other people are up to.
This in turn carries with it the highly likely consequence of uncharitable criticism. Even if it is not voiced aloud, it is hardly constructive.
When I first arrived at the monastery, there was an elderly sister who was fascinated by the minutiae of other people’s lives. Sometimes it can be downright unpleasant to be on the receiving end of someone’s gawking: ‘My enemies whet their eyes on me, and have gaped at me with their mouths.’ (Job 16:10)
But she was a wonderfully funny character, and I never begrudged her the interest she took in what was on my plate during meals. She would look at it surreptitiously, because she knew she wasn’t really supposed to.
Even when she was silent, one had a reasonably good idea as to how her mind was working: ‘Hmm. I wonder why she has been given a fried egg. The kitchen sisters are so much more generous to her than they are to me. They forget my needs more often than not. Life is most unfair.’
Taking a peek at someone else’s lunch is hardly a grave matter, but it does have a knock-on effect. We do not talk during meals, but listen to an improving book read out loud.
Her thoughts being occupied elsewhere, she almost certainly failed to take in the whys and wherefores of the start of the Second Vatican Council, or how Michelangelo managed to paint the Sistine Chapel, thereby missing out on something far more interesting and significant than the number of Brussels sprouts on her neighbour’s plate.
