On the Road Dickie Bird – 90 not out

You’re 90 on 19th April. What was the most memorable game you umpired? My last Test match at Lords against India in 1996. England and India lined up in front of the pavilion to give me a fanfare of trumpets as I walked out.

Is there anything you can’t leave home without?

My medication. When I was umpiring, I’d need my wristwatch.

Do you travel light?

I used to have all my cricket gear – my whites, my white shoes, my spikes I wore in my shoes.

What’s your favourite destination? New Zealand. But I enjoyed India, Pakistan, Australia, Sri Lanka and the West Indies.

What are your earliest childhood holiday memories?

Going to Scarborough and playing on the beach with my father at cricket.

Did you prefer football or cricket at school?

I preferred football, but I thought cricket would give me a longer life and I was right.

Why did you give up playing cricket professionally?

A knee was bothering me terribly.

How did you get into umpiring?

I was having a quiet drink with John Waugh who played for Middlesex, and he said, ‘Have you ever thought of becoming an umpire?’ and I just laughed, and then I thought there might be something in that. I wrote to Lord’s in August and they said, ‘We’ll put your name forward,’ and in November I got a letter saying I’d been accepted for the 1970 first-class cricket season. Aye. And I really took to umpiring.

Did you enjoy it more than playing?

In 1958, Ronnie Burnett was captain of Yorkshire and he sacked four of the greatest players and brought in young lads. We finished fourth-bottom in the

Championship and the members went mad. In 1959, we won the Championship – and from then on, Yorkshire was amazing. They were the best years of my life.

What’s your favourite cricket ground in England and abroad?

Lord’s and Calcutta.

Do you think your job would have been much easier with modern technology and the review system?

It’s easier now to umpire than ever and everything’s right with the review system – the umpire has nothing to do.

What’s the best decision you ever gave? I gave Robin Smith run out in a test match at Headingley, and everybody thought he’d got in. When they played it back, television slowed it down – he was out by an inch and a half.

What are the most difficult decisions? LBW, run-outs or disputed catches? Run-outs.

How good is the England cricket team now? It’s only a matter of time before they’re the most powerful cricket nation in the world.

What’s the best team you ever umpired? The West Indies in the late ’70s and early ’80s had a great bowling attack – Andy Roberts, Malcolm Marshall, Michael Holding and Joel Garner – and a great batting line-up with Gordon Greenidge, Desmond Haynes, Vivian Richards. Australia in the early ’70s were so powerful with the great captain Ian Chappell, his brother Greg, Dennis Lillee, Dougie Walters, Geoff Thompson, Ashley Mallett – can’t pick one from the other.

And the worst?

Never saw one.

Who was your favourite player of all time?

Garfield Sobers of the West Indies.

Ever witness any cheating? No. I never saw anything or heard of anything.

Is Yorkshire the greatest county? Yes. Well, I’m a Yorkshireman –I’m bound to say that.

As an ex-President of Yorkshire CC, how did you feel about the racism there? I never saw any racism, but I wasn’t in the dressing room.

Are you a traveller?

I didn’t need to worry about leaving a wife and kids behind. I loved going abroad. Every country made me so welcome. And they still think the world of me, though I say it myself.

Do you go on holiday?

I always go to Scarborough. That east coast – I don’t think there’s anything nicer in the world on a fine day.

Did you have a daily routine when you were an umpire?

I was always at the ground before anyone else. My first test match at Headingley, I arrived at six in the morning – and we didn’t start till half-11 in those days.

What have been your career highlights ? Umpiring the first three World Cup Finals and having lunch with the Queen at Buckingham Palace.

What’s your biggest headache? The long flights to Australia and New Zealand.

What was the best hotel you stayed in? The Taj Mahal and the Oberoi in Bombay. I didn’t stay in the Sandy Lane Hotel in Barbados, but I swam in the sea outside it, and one day I bumped into something and I thought it was a rock and it was Pavarotti.

Across

1 Hurtful remark from X hit sprog badly (7,4)

9 Vague, becoming passionate outside the pub (9)

10 The Yorkshire determination is material (5)

11 X, infected by farm disease, is not here (6)

12 Poison that could be power to American state? (8)

13 Feature of group given task (6)

15 Imagine poor vegetarians with no pitch (8)

18 Feeling better, and showing it (8)

19 Endless avarice seen with church state (6)

21 Face European court’s different variations of language (8)

23 Shocked husband in story turned back time (6)

26 A bit of weather must heat unit (5)

27 Glower, then log in for resolution (4,5)

28 Books found in most of the plots by Jacob’s brother (11)

Genius crossword 424 el sereno

Down

1 Notice youth protecting vehicle after parking (7)

2 Origin of automatons (not British) (5)

3 Threatening one politician with closure (9)

4 Blush, seeing student wearing short dress (4)

5 Is the poor X in two minds? (8)

6 Symbol of bear market’s origin (5)

7 Engineers must have experience to cover one and take over responsibility (7)

8 Sue set fire to barrier under investigation initially (8)

14 With no show of uncertainty finds where supporters stand (8)

16 Fighter out of order? (9)

17 Posture adopted if batting, for example (8)

18 One might check return of decay under car from Germany (7)

20 Lands in eastern America (7)

22 X (5)

24 Protection, say, is subject to law essentially (5)

25 Trace of patois discovered on the rise (4)

How to enter Please scan or otherwise copy this page and email it to comps@theoldie.co.uk. With regret, we are temporarily unable to accept postal entries. Normal procedure will be restored as soon as possible. Deadline: 5th April 2023. We do not sell or share your data with third parties.

First prize is The Chambers Dictionary and £25. Two runners-up will receive £15.

NB: Hodder & Stoughton and Bookpoint Ltd will be sent the addresses of the winners because they process the prizes.

Moron crossword 424

Across

1 Smudged, labelled (6)

4 ___ Rooney, footballer (5)

8 Dance venue (5)

9 Unlawful (7)

10 Stomach (7)

11 Shock, daze (4)

12 Greyish-brown (3)

14 Bill of fare (4)

15 Supplies weapons to (4)

18 Take a pew (3)

21 Skin disorder (4)

23 Make lively (7)

25 Yield, buckle under pressure (7)

26 Sky blue (5)

27 Throw out forcibly (5)

28 Shooting star (6)

Down

1 Foolishly impulsive (6)

2 The remains (of an estate, e.g) (7)

3 Gigantic (8)

4 Metal joint (4)

5 Sailing boat (5)

6 Stretch (6)

7 Demon (5)

13 Pilot (8)

16 Step, yardstick (7)

17 Harass, bother (6)

19 Mottled (cat) (5)

20 Thin facade (6)

22 Mother-of-pearl (5)

24 Resign, stop (4)

Winner: Miriam Cheeseman, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire Runners-up: John Elkington, Wells, Somerset; P D Wakely, Redland, Bristol

Moron 422 answers: Across: 1 Skint, 4 Height (Skin tight), 9 Freak, 10 Unhappy, 11 Extends, 12 Licit, 14 Tie, 15 Icy, 16 Kid, 18 Own, 21 Molar, 22 Declare, 23 Seminar, 25 Elect, 26 Dodged, 27 Mayor. Down: 1 Suffer, 2 Identical, 3 Taking, 5 Exhale, 6 Gap, 7 Trysts, 8 Substandard, 13 Chicanery, 17 Amused, 18 Orange, 19 Scream, 20 Nectar, 24 Mud.

Spring is upon us, an appropriate moment to reminisce on last year’s Spring Foursomes, in which my team lost in the Final to Hinden.

I would never say I’m happy to lose. However, one member of the Hinden team was ill and we were all aware it might be his final chance to win. We were happy to shake their hands at the end – then jump into our cars, as we were all longing to leave the underwhelming motorway-junction hotel venue in Warwickshire.

One member of my team was the legendary Zia Mahmood - always an exciting teammate both at and away from the table. Here is some pure Zia class from early in the event. Z (as I call him) was sitting East.

Dealer South North-South Vulnerable