DON’T BE A GILIPOLLAS!

WHEN former Barcelona Mayor Xavier Trias lost his post to socialist Jaume Collboni of the Catalan Socialist Party (PSC) he could barely contain his annoyance.

Speaking after the investiture of Collboni as leader of a minority administration, he said: “At my age of 76, I had already said, ‘If I don’t end up mayor, they can all go screw themselves’,” (pictured below).

It was a statement of typical Spanish bluntness that is displayed in all walks of lifeeven in the full glare of publicity.

Indeed, if you have fully embraced Spanish language and culture you can’t go for an hour in Spain without insulting some ‘dickhead’ driver or roadworks in the middle of summer.

While there are hilarious phrases that can be harnessed as Spanishs insults (¡Que te folle un pez! or ‘get f**ked by a fish’) there remain some critical curse words you’ll need to season your day-to-day speech in Spain. Here are 12 Spanish insults that will slot

12 Spanish insults that will make you sound like a native

By Dilip Kuner

you right into Spanish culture and make you sound like native.

1. Me cago en... (insert object of hatred)

Any language that has no scatalogical (poo-related) insults is not worth learning. While Spanish has an equivalent for ‘s**t’ - mierda - it enjoys another creative method for expressing disgust, disappointment or rage.

The phrase usually starts ‘me cago en...’ (I s**t on...) followed by the object of hatred at hand.

The most traditional forms are as follows:

¡Me cago en tu puta madre! (I s**t on your whore-mother) ¡Me cago en la puta que te parió! (I s**t on the whore that gave birth to you)

¡Me cago en la puta! (I s**t on the whore)

¡Me cago en la leche! (I s**t in the milk)

¡Me cago en tus muertos! (I s**t on your dead ancestors) (EXTREME CAUTION: this is very, very offensive)

2. Gilipollas

Few Spanish insults are as satisfying as ‘gilipollas’. Literally it means ‘stupid dick’ and refers to someone who thinks with a dick for a brain. Though it’s more equivalent to ‘dickhead’ or ‘stupid idiot’ or ‘prick’. It can be used both to cause offence, naturally, but also among friends and acquaintances.

EXAMPLE

Porque sales a la calle con calcetines y chanclas tió, ¿serás gilipollas?

(Why are you going out in socks and sandals man, are you a dickhead or something?) (This happened, it was my mother-in-law).

3. Joder

Joder is a versatile Spanish curse word that traditionally has a similar meaning to ‘f**k’ but is extremely rarely used in a sexual context in Spain. Generally, it can be used to express anything from mild frustration to frothing anger. It’s very common to hear elderly people using joder and in general it wouldn’t be frowned upon in their presence.

EXAMPLE

Joder, has dejado la ropa fuera en la lluvia otra vez.

(F**k, you left the clothes out in the rain again.)

4. Mierda

Mierda is a simple insult for English speakers to slot into their Spanish, as in most situations it can substitute ‘s**t’. One situation where it can’t would be in vete a la mierda or ‘go to hell’. You will often hear Spanish people say una mierda when they mean something like ‘there’s no way in hell’.

EXAMPLE ¿Que mierda no?

(How s**t right?)

5. Puta

It’s strange the Spanish obsession with anything bad being attributed to whores - especially when one in five Spanish men admit to having used a sex worker’s services. But, whether a hangover from Catholicism or an act of denial, there it is. Puta is another versatile word that can be slotted in before any word to enhance the potency of an insult or expression.

EXAMPLE ¡El puto perro de ese gilipollas ha cagado en mis putos geranios otra vez!

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