The Subreddit r/AmITheAsshole by Open Window

The Subreddit r/AmITheAsshole

AND ITS UNIQUE FORM OF CULTURAL RELATIVISM

ACADEMIC ESSAY

Madison Gordon 221041

7 June 2024

LIST OF FIGURES

Figure 1 A screenshot of a post on the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole by u/ throwaway269120211.

Figure 2 A table showing the percentage of differing judgements over 5 Reddit posts.

INTRODUCTION

The internet has become a space where everyone of all cultures and backgrounds can come together and engage with each other in a very accessible way. This has caused a variety of internet cultures to arise and the one I will be looking at in particular is that of the culture of the subreddit r/AmItheAsshole. In addition, I will also be discussing the postmodern theory of relativism and how r/AmItheAsshole displays a very strange variety of relativism, one that has almost cultivated its own moral ideas despite having a multitude of cultural inputs.

r/AmItheAsshole is a subreddit where people post their situations of conflict online so that other users and commenters can decide whether the person posting is the “asshole” in their situation or if the other person in question is. The subreddit was created in 2013 by Marc Beaulac, who faced a dilemma at work in which he wanted other people’s opinion on whether he was in the right or wrong (Manasan, 2023). This concept of creating a space for internet users to judge others based on their own moral compasses was a success, with the subreddit currently having 15 million users joined to it. Over the years, it has become a place for people of different cultures and backgrounds to come together and form opinions that aren’t often appreciated in real life in a safe and anonymous environment.

R/AMITHEASSHOLE AND ITS INNATE NATURE OF CULTURAL RELATIVISM

As mentioned above, r/AmITheAsshole is a hub for different cultures to get together and discuss human experiences from their own moral perspectives. Analysing this aspect, I will be discussing the postmodern theory of relativism and how it plays a role in r/AmItheAsshole’s culture. Cultural relativism states that there is no objective moral truth, and that different cultures host different ideas on what is right and wrong (Sim, 2011, p. 241). It is the idea that “although all cultures are subject to moral standards, there is no moral standard that applies

to all cultures” (Tilley, 2001, p. 10). There are also many critiques about relativism, with one argument being that cultural relativism promotes indifference, and that what is right or wrong cannot be discussed cross-culturally (McRobbie, 1994, p. 64).

First, I will discuss the subreddit and how it displays cultural relativism through its posts. For this, I will explain some of the terminology used within the subreddit. The judgements are typically written in abbreviated phrases, such as “NTA” being not the asshole (and the other person is), “YTA” being you’re the asshole, “NAH” being no assholes here and “ESH” being everyone sucks here ( Am I the Asshole? , 2024). It is important to note here that according to r/AmItheAsshole’s frequently asked questions, the term “asshole” is not meant to be considered as an insult, and it reminds people not to be cruel and to treat everyone with respect ( Am I the Asshole? , 2024).

The above example is of a woman posting about her double checking what her husband packed in her two 5 year old daughters’ bags and the husband getting upset at her for doing so ( AITA for Checking My Daughters’ Bags After My Husband Packed Them? , 2024). The official judgement of the post was that the woman was the asshole and her husband not, and while many people did think so due to the actions being deemed controlling, many disagreed too. One user commented that the “YTA” comments must come from people who have never been married, as this situation is very dependent on the already established dynamics of the relationship, such as the mother being the one who usually packs the bags and who already knows what the children need compared to the father who hasn’t had the chance to do so. Many married couples agreed on either not the asshole or no assholes here. This post is an example of what Tilley (2001, p. 13) describes as “The Polygyny Argument”. Ultimately, what may be seen as strange to some cultures (in this case, the woman being seen as controlling by unmarried commenters) is natural or common in other cultures (to married commenters, the woman’s reaction is understandable) (Tilley, 2001, p. 13). However, in a sense this varied

A screenshot of a post on the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole by u/throwaway269120211.

Note: Reddit, 2024

FIGURE

judgement does obscure the absolute conclusion of the post. The original poster is ultimately still left with the thought of whether they were right or wrong, and they have to decide which culture they would prefer to adhere to in order to conclude a judgement. This is where the argument of how cultural relativism encourages indifference comes into play, whereby a cross-cultural discourse about a topic tends to push people into rather ignoring the problem than actively engaging in it (McRobbie, 1994, p. 64).

THE EMERGENCE OF A UNIQUE MORAL FRAMEWORK WITHIN THE SUBREDDIT

Despite the cultural relativism clearly displayed within r/AmItheAsshole, over the 11 years of existence, the subreddit has actually cultivated its own moral truths. In 2019, there was a post in the subreddit created, discussing a trend of more and more posts having a universal judgement, with those who disagreed being downvoted and hidden from view ( META: This Sub Is Moving Towards a Value System That Frequently Doesn’t Align With the Rest of the World , 2017). The post gained 81,000 upvotes and this particular user who created the post, u/DarthCharizard, described the subreddit as becoming an ‘echochamber’ and a space for validation more than a space to gain valuable insight into conflict situations ( META: This Sub Is Moving Towards a Value System That Frequently Doesn’t Align With the Rest of the World , 2017). They even commented how people offline and in real life will have different opinions

FIGURE

A table showing the percentage of differing judgements over 5 Reddit posts.

Note: Madison Gordon, 2024

on the situation to those online in this subreddit ( META: This Sub Is Moving Towards a Value System That Frequently Doesn’t Align With the Rest of the World , 2017).

This emerging moral framework from the subreddit has become increasingly evident as the subreddit evolves. Most times, when you click on a post, you will be met with an overwhelming opinion and any opposing judgements were either minimal in frequency or downvoted and hidden from view. In fact, I have analysed a few recently popular posts (2 May - 9 May) and compiled the data into the table below:

As shown above, out of 5 of the top posts in the week of 2 May - 9 May, every post had a minimum of 97% of comments agreeing with a singular judgement. This is an incredible display of the subreddits current lack of cultural relativism and at a glance seems to favour universalism which is the idea that “some moral judgements are universally valid” (Tilley, 2001, p. 5). However, as discussed above with the post about how the subreddit’s morals do not align with the world outside of it, it is possible that since any opposing comments are downvoted and hidden, many people may agree with the general opinion due to only being exposed to that singular judgement, as any opposing opinions are not shown to the casual viewer ( META: This Sub Is Moving Towards a Value System That Frequently Doesn’t Align With the Rest of the World , 2017). This in turn creates a new culture within the subreddit, where the once multicultural subreddit full of cultural relativism has now turned into a space where it has deemed its own moral truths instead of embracing differing views. The subreddit has also begun to display an ethnocentric nature, where the subreddits culture only accepts their own moral judgements and any contrary cultures’ morals are seen as “ignorant or backwards”

(Tilley, 2001, p. 25). This further highlights the subreddits’ move away from cultural relativism and into a newly evolved culture.

CONCLUSION

Internet communities allow for people of all different cultures to come together in one, unified space. The subreddit r/AmITheAsshole is one of those internet communities with multiple cultures convening in order to judge people’s situations through the view of their own culture’s moral framework. In the beginning of the subreddit’s history, it cultivated a great space for cultural relativism, where people often discussed varying opinions and judgements over a situation. However as the subreddit grew, it had become a place where its views began to differ from the rest of the world, rejecting universalism and becoming more ethnocentric in nature. It evolved from multicultural discourses into its own unique culture due to most posts having one, universal agreed judgement instead of varying judgements. In conclusion, the evolution of the unique internet community of r/AmITheAsshole spanned from encouraging cultural relativism to becoming its own culture.

REFERENCES

AITA for checking my daughters’ bags after my husband packed them? (2024, November 9). Reddit. Retrieved March 27, 2024, from https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/ comments/19ffeeu/aita_for_checking_my_daughters_bags_after_my/?share_ id=Z-EEXhicjzIM4TVoFEftG&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_ name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

Am I the Asshole? (2024, March 20). Reddit. Retrieved March 27, 2024, from https://www. reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_i.2019m_supposed_to_.201Cbe_civil.201D_ in_a_sub_about_.201Cassholes.201D.3F

Manasan, A. (2023, December 17). Reddit’s r/AmItheAsshole community is thriving, ready and willing to pass judgment. CBC. Retrieved March 27, 2024, from https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ sunday/reddit-community-1.7059122

McRobbie, A. (1994). Postmodernism and popular culture. Routledge.

META: This sub is moving towards a value system that frequently doesn’t align with the rest of the world. (2017, November 9). Reddit. Retrieved March 27, 2024, from https://www.reddit. com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d6xoro/meta_this_sub_is_moving_towards_a_value_ system/?share_id=WO3ELd1RvngibMuHGbsZ-&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_ app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

Sim, S. (Ed.). (2011). The Routledge Companion to Postmodernism (3rd ed.). Routledge.

Tilley, J. J. (2001, May). Cultural Relativism. Human Rights Quarterly, 22(2), 501-547. JSTOR. Retrieved February 29, 2024, from https://www.jstor.org/stable/4489287