Golden Boy Nicholas Calderbank You had it all. The looks. The brains. The gift of the gab. Everyone wanted a piece of you. You were hot! We hung on your every word. We imitated your gestures. You were already a legend. The world was your oyster. - I’ve done quite well, myself, you’ll be pleased to hear. I was never going to set the world alight. But I have made a contribution. Modest yet worthwhile. I remember watching you in the match against... St. Stephens, was it? You ran circles round them. No one could touch you. You were the only man on the field. Do you still do your 200 press-ups before breakfast? And the crumpet! Queuing up. Round the block! - I’m a married man. My wife is a fine woman. We have two fine children, one of each sex. Both now living on the other side of the globe. And according to the reports we receive doing well in all areas. When I retired last year, my colleagues gave me a splendid send-off. I was presented with the watch that I am wearing. It keeps perfect time. A leader. A political – or spiritual – leader. Offering hope in these troubled times. A mass movement. Gathering support on all sides. Inspiring people wherever you went. With your words. Your presence. Your self-belief. Changing the course of history. You’re taking the piss, aren’t you? I know you. You’re a born tease.
95.
