The Orbital - October/Halloween Issue

ORBITAL THE

ISSUE 3 OCTOBER 2013

MAN OF STEEL: A REVIEW

BE FRUGAL: 1940’S FASHION

HOW TO CREATE A

LACROSSE...

IN CLOGS

ZOMBIE NATION YOLO

WHAT DOES IT ACTUALLY MEAN?

SAVE THE

BEES!

THE END OF

DRUG CULTURE

BONFIRE

HONEYCOMB

POISONOUS SPIDERS

ARRIVE IN SURREY!

EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief SIMON RAWLINGS Deputy Editor REBECCA HILSDON Executive Editor JAMIE GREEN Design Editor DAN KELLY Administrative Director GILLIAN CRAIG News Editor CORINNA TAYLOR Deputy Editor VACANT Comment Editor JACK KILKER Deputy Editor ANTONIA KING Features Editor RACHEL IVENS Deputy Editor ALESSANDRO TRIDICO Lifestyle Editor BRYONY BOWIE Deputy Editor VICTORIA TIMMS Arts Editor NICHOLAS HYDER Deputy Editor CHARLOTTE COLE Sports & Socs Editor ALEX REILLY Deputy Editor NATASHA KHALEEQ

A letter from the Editor-in-Chief Welcome to the Halloween/Autumn Issue of The Orbital!

It’s that daunting time of the term where Welcome Week seems like it was practically an age ago and the workload from lectures begins to slowly but surely mount up. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that the fun has to end! For the past few weeks I’ve been hard at work co-organising something very special for all the students of Royal Holloway (keep on reading to find out more...)

So here’s the surprise! If you take a look at the back page of this issue you’ll see an advertisement for what is bound to be one of the best nights out on campus this term. We (The Orbital) have teamed up with Vivienne Westwood’s Climate Revolution and SURHUL to bring you ‘Escape! Save the Bees’ on the 1st November at the Students’ Union. We’ll have the famous DJ Prince Persona from London’s renowned Whiskey Mist, Morton’s and Eastbloc clubs, photo-booths, face-painting, signed giveaways from Vivienne Westwood and Lush, not forgetting that the night is the perfect chance for you to dress up and release your inner bee! There will also be some great prizes for the best dressed too. Tickets are just £5, see you there!

Behind the ‘Escape! Save the Bees’ SU night is a truly important message, populations of bees around the world are in decline and without these humble insects our ecosystem, the food we eat and much more wouldn’t be too great to say the least! If you flick over the page we have an informative news story about this very situation which looks at some of the brilliant research carried out by Royal Holloway’s very own scientists.

Till next the issue,

CLIMATE REVOLUTION

CONTENTS

Vivienne Westwood has a message for the students of SURHUL ... join the revolution!

NEWS Save the Bees: p.4-5 LSE Prevents Free Speech: p.6 The False Widow...bleurgh: p.6 A Selection of News: p.7 College News: p.8

COMMENT Miley’s Gone Bad: p.9 The End of Drug Culture: p.10 The Immoral Majority: p.11

“The climate revolution is no longer between the

Freshers; By a Fresher: p.12

classes or between rich and poor, but between the

Holding Back?: p.12

FEATURES

idiots and the eco-conscious.”

Satire: p.13 Contemplating a YOLO: p.14

www.climaterevolution.org.uk

Creative Writing: p.15

www.savethearctic.org

LIFESTYLE

www.activeresistance.co.uk

Clueless about Fashion?: p.17 Be Frugal, Be Fabulous: p.17

www.coolearth.org

Off to Toronto: p.18 Faces of Holloway: p.19 Have a Ball; Be a Ghoul: p.20 Bonfire Honeycomb: p.21

ARTS Critic Crisis: p.22 About Time: p.22 Holydrug Couple Live Review: p.23 Boardmasters: p.24 Man of Steel: p.25 University of London: Part One: p.26

SPORTS

&

DO YOU HAVE OPINIONS? Fantastic. DO YOU ENJOY MUSIC? Superb.

DO YOU EAT? Sweet. DO YOU LIKE DOING STUFF? Great.

In which case, we want YOU to write for us. We want debates, we want creative writing, we want updates on news that should be investigated and, essentially, ANYTHING you feel that The Orbital should be providing for you, the students, in each and every issue. The magazine has been designed so that email addresses are available within each section and, for anything else that may interest you, the editor@theorbital and deputyeditor@theorbital addresses should provide you with all the information you need. We want quality content to keep coming in, so get involved now! DAN KELLY, DESIGN EDITOR

SOCIETIES

Welcome Fayre Review: p.27

/theorbital

/TheOrbitalRHUL

Four to Watch: p.28-29 Remember the Name: p.30-31 Photography: Below is a list of accreditations for photographic contributions to The Orbital. These were found online under Creative Commons authorisation or available for public access and use. Photos submitted by students will be credited on the image itself. All are listed in order from top to bottom, left to right, with page number indicated. Any queries, please email design@theorbital.co.uk.

News: pg.4-5: flickr ‘Peter L Giordano’, pg.6: flickr ‘Valter Jacinto’; flickr ‘Newtown Graffiti’, pg.7: metro.co.uk; flickr ‘Sheilabythesea’; wikimedia; flickr ‘brizzle born and bred’; laurenslounge.com; kotaku.com; wikipedia; flickr ‘ikewinski’, pg.8: flickr ‘Frogzone1’.

Comment: pg.9 hypebeats.com, pg.10 hdwallpapers, pg.11 theatlantic.com.

Features: pg.13 flickr ‘Eric.Parker’, pg. 14 hipsterwall.com.

Lifestyle: pg.22 piperbasenji.blogspot.com.

Arts: pg.22 YouTube Trailer clipping, pg.23 virginmedia.com, pg.24: flickr‘Chris Heester Photography’, pg.25 nerdlocker.com.

Sports & Societies: pg.29: wikimedia.com/dutchclogs, pg.30/31: flickr ‘Mirror TKO 2010’.

NEWS

SAVE THE

BEES RHUL RESEARCH

IN THE SPOTLIGHT

BY SIMON RAWLINGS

Varieties of bee colonies across the globe are in decline and, in recent months, this pressing situation has become the focus of politicians, the government and activists alike.

Brand new research carried out by Royal Holloway’s very own scientists has just been published, bringing us one step closer to discovering a solution to what has so far has been something of a mystery Our Editor-inChief takes a look at these recent findings, the wider picture and what we can all do to help save the bees.

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have 4 years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”

Attributed to Albert Einstein

A recent study, conducted by researchers at our very own Royal Holloway University of London, discovered that even the lowest levels of pesticides can trigger a stress response in bees. This pesticide exposure they can be subject to causes behavioral changes that affects their work.

“One in three mouthfuls of our food depends on bee pollination,” lead author, Dr John Bryden from the School of Biological Sciences at Royal Holloway said in a statement.

“By understanding the complex way in which colonies fail and die, we’ve made a crucial step in being able to link bee declines to pesticides and other factors, such as habitat loss and disease which can all contribute to colony 04 | THE

ORBITAL

failure.” In line with this, Green Peace have recently stated that “a third of our food crops are pollinated by bees and other insects” and that “the economic value of pollination services globally provided by bees amount to some 265 billion.”

It is not surprising, in light of these startling figures, that the government has announced it will carry out an “urgent and comprehensive” review of the decline of bees. Lord de Mauley said: “We must develop a better understanding of the factors that can harm these insects and the changes that government, other organisations and individuals can make to help.”

Bees are an integral part of the food chain; as highly skilled insects they

pollinate almost all of the fresh food both we and other animals depend upon to survive. In the year 2012, the USA lost nearly one-third of its honeybee colonies causing an increase into this devastatin trend. Reduction in global bee population dramatically affects the entire ecosystem which is why scientists are beginning to devote even more time to research surrounding the problem. Since 2006, several beekeepers across the UK have reported noticing a bizarre phenomenon called the ‘Colony Collapse Disorder’ (CCD) where the adult bees simply disappear from the colony hives.

In the present study, the researchers have highlighted a strong link between a pesticide called ‘neonicotinoid’ and the declining numbers of honeybees. news @ theorbital.co.uk

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO

NEWS

HELP SAVE THE BEES?

1. EAT ORGANIC Neonicotinoid and systemic pesticides are used in agriculture on food crops - and these of course, end up on the shelves of supermarkets. Perhaps now is the time to start growing your own pesticidefree fruit & veg? You’ll be surprised just how many corgettes and green beans you can grow - even in a few pots outside!

If you cannot grow your own, then try to select as much organic produce as you can when you are buying your shopping. When you spend your cash, you cast a vote. If you buy at least some organic produce, your purchases, along with those of others, will send a signal to retailers, which will ultimately send a signal to farmers. It’s as simple as that!

2. SPEAK TO YOUR COUNCIL Write to your local council or political representative. Tell them about the need to save our bees, and ask them to stop the use of pesticides in public spaces (from parklands to community planting schemes), to plant more bee-friendly plants, and to make space for wildflowers along verges etc.

3. SPREAD THE WORD Spread the word about the need to help save the bees! This could range from sharing these tips, to chatting with your neighbour or even encouraging your friends to buy as much organic produce as they can. The most powerful tool you have is your voice, don’t be afraid to stand up and use it!

Continuous exposure to pesticides at levels the bees encounter in fields has a subtle impact on the individual insect which, in turn, leads to the collapse of the entire colony.

“Exposing bees to pesticides is a bit like adding more and more weight on someone’s shoulders. A person can keep walking normally under a bit of weight, but when it gets too much - they collapse.

Similarly, bee colonies can keep growing when bees aren’t too stressed, but if stress levels get too high the colony will eventually fail,” added Dr Bryden.

The impact that insecticides are having on bees was extremely clear in a recent case that was reported in the global news. In Wilsonville, Oregon, over 25,000 bumble bees were found ISSUE 3

dead under the European linden trees in a car park of a shopping center. This was the largest mass-death of bumble bees reported in the region’s history and yet another sign that a solution to this crisis must be found sooner rather than later. The cause of this most unusual case was not immediately known but conservationists local to the area and further afield say that it was the insecticides sprayed on the trees that killed the bees.

Every day, honeybee populations around the world battle with another threat: diesel exhaust. Another recent study uncovered the impact of air pollutants emitted from diesel exhausts on the bees’ sense of smell which is crucial to the process in which they use

to navigate around vast areas of land.

The study claimed that diesel exhausts negatively affect the bee’s foraging activity.

With this finding, the researchers offer strong evidence for the policymakers and governments alike. They say that the way pesticides are tested and the way their impact on bees is assessed needs to be improved as a matter of urgency. This research was published in the journal, Ecology Letters.

On the 1st November, The Orbital, SURHUL, Climate Revolution, Friends of the Earth and The Environmental Justice Foundation are all coming together to bring you a night to remember! Buy your tickets for the ‘Escape! Save the Bees’ night at the SU and see the poster of the back of this issue for more information.

THE

ORBITAL | 05

NEWS

LSE’S STUDENTS’ UNION ACCUSED OF PREVENTING FREE SPEECH LSE’s SU has brought to light an important issue facing all universities currently – the right to free speech. Two students from the London School of Economics were asked to take off satirical t-shirts with pictures of Jesus and the Prophet Mohammed as they promoted the Atheist society at this years’ Fresher’s Fair. Security guards at the SU threatened the students with expulsion, following many complaints from students who felt intimidated. Although the two students - Abishek Phadnis and Chris Moos – agreed to remove the t-shirts and some more offensive literature from their stall, they remain adamant that they were only exercising their right to free speech. They said: “As much as we respect and defend the rights of others to wear whatever they choose to wear, we claim this right for ourselves. Our right to free expression and participation in the LSE student community is being curtailed for no other reason than that we are expressing views that are not shared by others.”

The response from the Students’ Union was: “LSE is committed to promoting freedom of expression and is known for its public events and wide range of speakers. In this instance, it was judged that the actions of the students were undermining what should have been a welcoming and inclusive event.”

Richard Dawkins, who has been dubbed ‘The world’s most famous atheist’ as author of ‘The God Delusion’ and Stephen Evans, of the National Secular Society, have both made statements against the action taken by the SU, stating that they curtailed the use of free speech on campus.

CORINNA TAYLOR

POISONOUS SPIDERS COME TO SURREY Named ‘False Widows’ because of their poison, these large Spiders have been indigenous to the south west UK for 100 years. However now, due to climate change, many have moved across the country and are become a regular feature in the gardens of Surry. With reports of up to 30 in one garden, a ‘False Widow’ bite has been compared to a wasp sting. While it may cause serious reactions in some, it is mostly harmless to Humans, albeit painful.

‘False Widow’ spiders are different to normal spiders in many ways and are therefore easily spottable. They do not make their webs in a traditional circle, but make them to look like hammocks. They are reportedly much faster than a normal house spider, and they have coloured markings on their back and abdomen.

While more dangerous than normal spiders, ‘False Widows’ do not like to come inside and prefer outhouses and sheds. They also only come out at night. While they do hold venom, they are unlikely to attack unless disturbed, so advice remains to leave them where you find them instead of trying to move them away from the house.

“These are not spiders that you can expect to come into your home. If they are not disturbed and threatened then nobody should expect a bite. They keep themselves to themselves.” Lawrence Bee, educational officer with the British Arachnological Society. CORINNA TAYLOR

06 | THE

ORBITAL

news @ theorbital.co.uk

NEWS

TOO LITTLE, TOO RACIST? Tommy Robinson

50,000 GATHER TO ‘SAVE OUR NHS’

STAINES CHEMICAL ALERT Staines shopping

has apologised for spreading fear among British Muslims in a repentant charm offensive following his shock departure from the EDL.

Royal Holloway students joined a rally in Manchester in response to government plans, on September 29th.

centre was closed down on Monday when white powder was sent to the premises. However, this later turned out to be talcum powder.

DRIVING AGE TO RISE The government are considering a proposal to raise the legal driving age, currently being 18 years old, along with imposing more restrictions on new drivers.

CURE FOR HANGOVER Researchers in Sun

OXFORD STUDENTS FINED FOR DRUNKENNESS Much like

Royal Holloway, it seems that fining is a typical punishment at Oxford. One student was charged £30 for vomiting in Trinity Quad!

PLANS TO MAKE A30 SAFER £350,000 Yat-Sen University, Guangzhou, have found is being invested in safer options for that Sprite is the best prevention for a heavy crossing the road outside of Royal hangover. Is this a genuine cure, or just a Holloway’s main gate, following a number clever marketing ploy..? of accidents in the past few years.

ISSUE 3

EGHAM GRAVEL PIT ROW Professor Moreton

Moore, former mayor, says gravel extraction could be the “worst thing to happen to Egham since the Second World War” in light of a proposed application.

THE

ORBITAL | 07

COLLEGE NEWS

GET WELL SOON Unfortunately, one of the downsides to the start of a new academic year is the spate of common illnesses like coughs, sore throats and colds that start emerging within the campus community. We’d like to remind you of a few top tips to get well soon.

The GPs at the campus Health Centre suggest it is usual for adults to suffer up to three or four colds in a year and say these are best treated by your preferred over the counter cold remedy, as well as drinking plenty of fluids and rest.

Have a supply of these to hand before the bugs hit. Often the doctors are asked to prescribe antibiotics, but as these colds tend to be viral, they do not respond to antibiotics.

Colds can last for about two weeks and may end with a cough. Ask your pharmacist for advice on what will help. If the cold lasts more than three weeks, you become breathless or have chest pains, then make an appointment to see your doctor. Winter can also bring an outbreak of flu which is different from a cold. Symptoms are generally a high fever,

HOLLOWAY RISES IN GLOBAL RANKINGS Royal Holloway has risen in the ranks to claim the place of 12th best university in the UK, according to the Times Higher Education World Rankings,17 places better than last year. RHUL has also achieved 36th best university in Europe and 106th best university in the world. The well-respected Times Higher Education World Rankings, who are in their 10th year of publishing world ratings, rank universities based on a combination of factors.

These factors include the quality of the teaching and the learning environment, research (the volume, income and reputation of the research of the university), the overall amount of citations credited to the university, innovation, and international outlook. Royal Holloway was particularly

08 | THE

ORBITAL

aches and pains in your joints, headaches, loss of appetite and general weakness, which leads to enforced bed rest.

As always, we encourage everyone on campus to help stop spreading viruses like this by following the NHS ‘Catch it, Bin it, Kill it’ advice i.e. sneezing and coughing into a tissue, disposing of it quickly into the bin and washing your hands and surfaces regularly to kill the virus. Arrange with your flat or housemates to be each other’s ‘flu buddies’ so if one of you is taken unwell, the others can pick up prescriptions or food and fluids for you so you can rest.

The Health Centre, or your own GP practice, will offer registered patients with underlying medical problems, such as pre-existing chest disease, moderately severe asthma and diabetes, an influenza vaccine in mid to late October.

This will give protection against the current three types of influenza virus but won’t prevent colds or sore throats. The jab is not recommended for otherwise healthy people.

For further information, pick up one of our Health Living guides from Founder’s West or visit www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk or call into the Health Centre. HELEN GROENENDAAL

strong in international outlook, claiming 1st place for the third year in a row.

Additionally, Professor David Cohen from the department of Computer Science has been shortlisted in the ‘Most Innovative Teacher of the Year’ especially for his problembased teaching which has been praised highly.

Finally, Holloway has also been nominated for the ‘Most Improved Student Experience’ award following improvements to the SU, IT facilities, study space in the Library and an 89% student satisfaction in the National Student Survey (NSS).

PRESS & PR OFFICE

“I am delighted that our determination to deliver an outstanding student experience has been recognised” Professor Paul Layzell, Principal of RHUL news @ theorbital.co.uk

COMMENT

MILEY’S gone So, Hannah Montana’s ‘gone bad’ and the public are either loving it or bombarding her with abuse. Until this summer we’d pretty much forgotten all about Miley Cyrus.

Then she had a haircut and the world went wild at the thought of her not being their innocent Disney star forever. But people have haircuts. And people get older and get boobs and get more attractive and we should be able to handle that.

When the video for ‘Wrecking Ball’ was released everyone was up in arms about Miley’s choice to be in such an explicit video, especially after performing with Robin Thicke at the VMAs. However, the real problem wasn’t anything to do with her; it was the response she got.

If it hadn’t been for her VMA performance, I would be a lot more positive about ‘Wrecking Bal’l than I am, but she chose to perform a song that perpetuates rape culture, inadvertently using lyrics that contain words which rapists may use to their victims. That isn’t to say I think it’s okay for her to be oggled and criticised for Wrecking Ball and that she deserves what she gets, but she can’t expect to gain people’s respect by empowering herself in such a way after she’s associated herself with such a misogynistic song.

The idea of appearing naked in a music video has mixed connotations around it.

If you’re a female artist you get criticised, which is why people like Amanda Palmer make an effort to show off the female form; why should people be afraid of something so natural? However, if you’re a background dancer, people pay little attention to the matter. They don’t know you as a personality, they know you as an ornament, and while in some videos things are done to tackle this sexism, the majority remain something that no one seems to care about it: everyday sexism at its finest.

In her open letter to Miley Cyrus, Sinead O’Connor pleads for the former Disney Star not to keep sexualising herself in this way, claiming she only does it because the music industry has made her think it’s empowering and it’s her own decision. Oh, and don’t forget about the kids who will think this is the only way to get anywhere in life. She’s got half the answer, and the other half comes from Amanda Palmer who points out that while we shouldn’t teach people that being sexy is the key to making it, we also

“

comment @ theorbital.co.uk

bad

Imogen Tyreman

I’m a freak. I want to come out of a teddy bear for Christ’s sake -- with a hand -- I’m just a freak. I don’t think it’s that I’m smarter than anyone else, it’s not that I think, ‘Oh, you don’t get it.’ It’s just who I am and if I’m gonna perform, I want things around me that I like.” Later: “If I really wanted to come out and do a raunchy sex show, I wouldn’t have been dressed as a damn bear.

shouldn’t create a taboo around wanting to do what you want with your own body. But what each of them has failed to consider is what Miley Cyrus thinks of this whole thing. The top results on Google when searching for commentary about ‘Wrecking Ball’ or the VMAs are all full of other people’s opinion, and we can’t decide whether it was right or wrong for Miley to do anything until she comes out and says ‘yes, I chose to do this, this is how I want to use my body’, or ‘no, my label are sexist pigs who think the only way I can make it is to get naked as much as possible’. Because who are we to call her out on her own choices?

All in all, what this has taught us is that women in the music industry (and a lot of other places, of course) still need to fight a lot for the freedom to do what they want, for while sexual promiscuity and partial nudity are championed in male celebrities, Amanda Palmer got told by her record company that she was ‘too fat’ to wear a bikini top on stage for a gig while men of all shapes and sizes seem to be able to pull their top off whenever they want without any degrading commentary. This double standard will continue to permeate the music industry until we learn to respect people for their decisions instead of shaming them into thinking they’ve done something wrong.

THE

ORBITAL | 09

the end of drug culture?

An article recently appeared in The Observer, in which Chief Constable of Durham Police, Mike Barton, called for the decriminalisation of Class A drugs. Following his statement, a petition has been created which pleads for government to create a Royal Commission on drug reform. The Home Office has, however, responded by reiterating that Class A drugs are illegal simply because they are dangerous.

The Chief Constable does have strong reasoning behind his statement however, despite this having been dismissed by the Home Office. He argues that the prohibition of drugs empowers the drug dealer. Suppliers and dealers can charge extortionate amounts and gain millions, or in some cases, billions of pounds because they are the only means by which the addiction can be fed. Chief Constable Barton reasons that if the NHS offered support services and rehabilitation programs involving Class A drugs, if not similar substitutes, then the power would be removed from the Drug Barons and the face of criminality would change.

This is, in theory, a perfectly sane idea: to make something legal is to remove some of its glamour and also to cut off those who profit from the lack of competitive suppliers. If users were encouraged to get their fix for free from the NHS, this gives medical professionals the opportunity to address these individuals whom they might never have otherwise come into contact with.

However, the deficit of the NHS appears to continuously grow, with more and more cuts being made as each year passes. It is not in any way feasible for the NHS to be the mechanism by which the problem of Class A drug use in Britain is to be solved. The legalisation of Class A drugs will arguably only bring them further into the public eye, making it easier for them to be accessible without having to do risky deals in the early hours of the morning.

Drug culture does exist in this country, and it is a massive problem, with increasing numbers of HIV cases being caused by the sharing of used needles. However, tackling this problem cannot fall solely to the NHS, which will be suffering further government cuts in the next few months. Chief Constable Barton is, however, correct in his assertion that the power of Drug barons needs to be removed before there can be any hope of minimising the impact of Class A drugs on British culture. JACK KILKER

COMMENT

THE IMMORAL MAJORITY At this moment, I feel rather disappointed; disappointed in our MPs and in the general public. I’m disappointed in the government’s final decision not to intervene in Syria, and disappointed that the general public has supported this choice. Now, I do acknowledge that this opinion is not a popular one, and I also acknowledge the reasons why. Nobody wants another Iraq or Afghanistan. However, it’s also necessary to weigh up these arguments and concerns against the morality of the decision.

When considering that there is a desperate need to stop a cruel dictator slaughtering thousands of his own people with nerve gas – which are Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) – I simply cannot choose to ignore Syria as others have done. I would like to clarify however that I am in support of military intervention only in the form of airstrikes, missile strikes and the establishment of a “no fly zone,” as opposed to having “boots on the ground” as it were.

The most popular reasons for no intervention are always that ‘it doesn’t concern us, this is happening in Syria,’ or ‘it doesn’t concern the British people.’ I’ve heard this opinion everywhere, be it in Parliament, the media, or just people in the street and frankly, I’m rather disgusted at the lack of morality that seems to be spreading through our country. Whether we choose to accept it or not, we live in a global community where the actions of other countries affect our own. This means that when one of our members crosses the line and violates international law, we must act as a community to stop it. As one of the most powerful and democratic countries in the world, we cannot, and we may not, sit back and allow a dictator to slaughter thousands of people, without at least attempting to intervene.

Now some do point out correctly, that the UK did not previously intervene in situations such as the Rwandan genocide, or Saddam Hussein’s 1988 genocide of the Kurds with chemical weapons, and consequently ask why we should now intervene in Syria in 2013. Well I would respond to this by saying: just because we didn’t intervene in those atrocities does not mean we should now never intervene. That does not seem a moral or logical argument.

Of course, many people fear another Iraq. Yet, let’s not forget that, according to opinion polls in 2003, the majority of the population supported intervention in Iraq. Although the years in Iraq were difficult, and the execution of the invasion left a lot to be desired, it was an example of the UK standing up and dealing with a murderous dictator who had no second thoughts about slaughtering thousands of innocent people. In the case of Syria, there aren’t any immediate plans to put soldiers on the ground in the country, instantly taking away many comparisons to the Iraq war. Similarly, there are no doubts surrounding Syria – if countries such as the USA do respond, they are responding to proven chemical weapon (WMD) attacks.

It may not be the best time for the UK to involve itself in another conflict but unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that; bad things happen that need responding to and no one knows when they’ll happen or what it’ll require. In a situation like this, it is easiest to think simply about the facts. By intervening now, we can set a world precedent that the use of chemical weapons will not be tolerated.

This is not another Iraq. It is already a different environment, will not be addressed the same way and so will not have the same results. We are not sending more troops into conflict and we’re not starting a war. The UK is considering an intervention, not an invasion. At the moment, my concerns lie with the UK government and all those voicing their disapproval at our intentions to aid Syria.

If you think this conflict doesn’t concern then I would seriously consider examining your moral compass. DAN WILLIS

ISSUE 3

THE

ORBITAL | 11

COMMENT

FRESHERS; BY A FRESHER

CHLOE WRIGHT

Sitting in the front of a friend’s van full of anxiety and excitement, I didn’t really know what to expect from university life or understand what the concept of ‘Freshers’ was. When watching American sit-coms on television, I noticed Freshers were often the ones getting picked on by the older students. This was momentarily worrying but after speaking to a few friends who were attending university I discovered that Freshers is apparently a week (or, in some places, a two week) long bender where one gets happily intoxicated and meets others in the same boat and just starting university.

As we drove through the gates of Royal Holloway and saw the Founders building looming beautifully over the campus I felt a twinge of regret, was this really the right decision? Would I fit in? If you’re anything like I was on that first day you would have felt the need to enter Dr Who’s TARDIS to skip the awkward conversation making period that is the first week and just get on with it.

Looking back on it almost two weeks later as I write this article I have realised that my anxiety was completely unnecessary, everyone was feeling the same nervous contentment about finally getting into university and moving in. This was comforting and even more comforting was the fact that there were students helping freshers’ move in (I had about 6 students help me move my stuff into my room from the van!). My roommates promptly introduced themselves and were all kind and welcoming, putting my mind at ease and making me feel more at home.

Now that I have unpacked all of my stuff and put my posters and calendar up my room feels more like home and me and my flatmates already feel like a little family.

University has lived up to and beyond all of my hopes and expectations at Royal Holloway, we have a castle, a friendly community of people, expert lecturers and a pretty good set of societies and events going on too! Last night I saw Wheatus perform Teenage Dirtbag live, danced with the drummer and got to meet the lead singer, best SU night so far and best £5 I have ever spent. I’m loving university and I’m sure all you other freshers’ out there are too!

DO YOU HAVE OPINIONS? Fantastic. In which case, we want YOU to write for us. We want debates, we want controversy and we want you to vent a little, all in an intellectual manner of course. Get in touch for any section via the email addresses at the bottom of each page. As is the same for each section, we want quality content to keep coming in, so get involved now!

HOLDING YOURSELF BACK? JACK KILKER Most people have self esteem issues; it’s a fact of life, even if it’s only in a very small way or in very, very specific situations, and after a lot of alcohol. This can affect some people’s lives and the choices they make in a very big way. Often stereotypes and social conventions do nothing but exacerbate these anxieties, and this leads to individuals feeling shut off and unable to take part in certain activities.

The idea for this article came from Simon Rawlings, The Orbital’s Editor-in-Chief, who, in his third and final year of University, has finally decided to join RHUL’s rowing team. Simon stated that he had wanted to join in previous years, but had chosen not to because he felt that his sexuality might be an issue when becoming a member of a sports club. Thankfully, after eventually taking the plunge, Simon has found that this has not been the case.

It is not, however, a ridiculous notion for somebody to think that, because they’re gay, they might not be immediately accepted into a sportsman or woman’s role. It’s equally acceptable to think that someone who chooses not to drink alcohol on religious grounds may feel that they might struggle in a club or society, as these often involve socials and/or initiations. But why should one facet of someone’s life determine what they feel they can and cannot do?

Oftentimes, if we do manage to take the plunge and throw ourselves into joining something which we haven’t felt able to before, it will be fine. People won’t judge you based on that aspect of your life. People won’t assume that you can’t do things because of the way you are.

People will do exactly what most people would do outside of that club or society: see you as an individual, or see you for your skill and talent.

In no way does being gay, straight or trans, or any other form of minority, determine your talent, your sporting ability, or your merits as an individual. There is absolutely no correlation between a person’s sexuality and their sporting ability. The same can be said for religion, ethnicity, social background, or whether someone chooses to drink or use drugs. These are things which everyone should know and accept, though sadly this isn’t the case.

Of course, there is prejudice in the world. There are people who would be uncomfortable, and possibly openly hurtful, with an LGBT team member, or who may feel the same with an Afro-Caribbean colleague. These people do exist and sometimes things don’t work out. However, this is not the norm, especially at this University, where there is an apparently very high level of tolerance and acceptance. We should not expect prejudice. More importantly, we should not feel that if someone in a team or society doesn’t accept you on grounds of something about yourself which you cannot change, that this actually matters. The ignorance of others should not be able to define how we feel about ourselves.

We all have every right to become the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be. University is definitely the easiest and most obvious place for you to reach the highest and make the most dramatic changes to yourself that you ever will. Nobody, then, should be made to feel guilty or uncomfortable because of this. Embrace yourself in every way. Know what you want to do and do it. If you don’t, it’s only your own doubts which are holding you back, and hopefully an older version of you will be able to see this.

This is not me telling you how to live your life, or that it’s easy to suddenly turn off worrying about what other people might think. This is me saying that we all should be able to, at some point in our lives, accept ourselves fully, and realise that others should do the same. We’ll all be left with nothing but regret if we let the things which others might feel determine what we do with our lives. We’re all complex: it’s ridiculous to define yourself with just one facet of your personality. So don’t. Go out and do whatever it is you think you want to do or might be good at, and embrace that part of yourself which you think might be stopping you. Nobody else can do it for you.

12 | THE

ORBITAL

comment @ theorbital.co.uk

FEATURES

POST-HA

IN NUMBERS 0.0001 mbs

LLOWEE

N WALK OF SHAM E

OVERHEARD AT

HOLLOWAY

“It’s great weather for a boyfriend!”

As the cold autumn weather sets in and toes get chilly at night, Royal Holloway students have discovered an ingenious way to save money: finding themselves a significant other.

An extra person in bed with you has more perks than you would initially imagine...

With the cost of student living skyrocketing, it makes perfect economic sense to share body warmth with another, saving money that would otherwise have been spent on a hot water bottle, blanket, and/or heating bills. However, The Orbital believes that if you can get this person to cook you dinner as well, you’ve found yourself a keeper!

Speed of campus internet between 9-11pm while students are...ahem...working

80% Would rather pay for a taxi than push a trolley up Egham Hill

5,600 Number of people currently lost in the Founders building

1.2 million Average number of times a student will lose their college card in first term

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL This publication is astonished to discover that Halloween costumes do not in fact have to consist of dressing as a less-clothed version of your usual self. While empirical research conducted at the Students’ Union function nights will seem to show otherwise, without a shadow of a doubt, it is not in fact compulsory to bare all on October 31st. No one will think any less of you for wrapping up a little warmer in the cold months ahead!

THE

ORBITAL | 13

FEATURES

YOLO

CONTEMPLATING A YOLO

written by ALEX COSHAM

The very phrase, “YOLO,” fills me with unease.

Often I feel a physical convulsion when I hear it thrown between Fosters wielding friends on a night out. When uttering it myself, I immediately feel the need to floss with bleach and Brillo pads in disgust, all the while convincing myself I’m saying it entirely ironically. But, as is often the case, I’ve become trapped in a part of this new language of which I have no understanding. Inundated in “lols”, “tbhs” “rofls” and so on and so forth, I try to convince myself that I know what the hell I’m actually saying as my fingers dance across a keyboard. However, as I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent and verbose individual (read “wordy prick”) and was not going to be set back by a few acronyms, I actually, against my better judgement, began to think about what all these idioms actually mean.

As I decided to embark on this epic linguistic adventure, I also heard some somewhat sad news from my family followed by a friend; two separate instances bound by one linking feature, cancer.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “oh god here comes another 50/50-X-factor-style sob story”, but don’t panic, this isn’t going to get heavy. Though honestly, I just didn’t see it coming (not that you ever do I suppose); my 80-year-old grandmother and my 20-year-old friend both have the same bloody cancer. In truly eloquent style my initial reaction was along the lines of: “well…fuck.” But given time I started to see it from a different angle - and as much as I hate to say it, this is where “YOLO” started to creep in.

At 80, my Nan has seen a lot, done a lot and, to be perfectly honest, seldom shuts up about it, to the dismay of the family and me. As is often the case with her generation, the second world war often features strongly when we are wasting food.

We are reprimanded by a short reminder of how rationing worked and how one family had to live off a teaspoon of lard and a cup of damp soil for a week.

Okay, maybe she doesn’t quite say that, but my point is - in short - she is old, and she has had a bloody good life. That said, the fact she is sick is indeed

14 | THE

ORBITAL

heart-breaking, but there is some loose comfort in knowing what a beautiful life she has clearly led… and without a “YOLO” ever leaving her mouth.

Yet to have the same “old-person’s” disease strike my friend too is truly where the metaphorical-bitchslap came from, and also where this meandering string of thoughts originated. Clearly, his prospects at twenty differ dramatically from a little old lady, and I know he will get better very soon. But I’ve tried to imagine the mind-set that you’re left with after something like that… and truthfully, I have struggled. I go through my existence the same way, being mildly moved by an event and promising myself: “from tomorrow, I will make every day count,” only to wake up at 2pm, remain in bed watching YouTube videos until evening and find myself writing incoherent “yolo”, “lol” and “tbh” filled messages on Facebook.

After finishing this strenuous routine, exercise consists of reaching limply at a can of warm diet coke from the night before.

What does “YOLO” actually mean? I’m told it stands for “you only live once”. Well, that’s very true.

Yet, as a member of this very generation, I feel like for the first time we don’t understand that concept at all.

Consuming life through a collection of different-sized screens and communicating through a language of abbreviations, I fear the human experience itself is at risk now more than ever of abbreviation in the same way. I am guilty of this too, I admit, and not for a second am I expecting to create a movement or to attack anyone who says “YOLO” - in all likelihood I will probably get drunk, and tweet something brainless like “LOL, eating burnt toast at 2AM. YOLO!” I know I will also feel disgusted with myself afterwards.

I guess the real point of YOLO for us students, is that we’re at the perfect point in life. You’re at Uni, and if you want to do something, do it! Join that random club; tell that someone how you feel, but whatever you do in the spirit of YOLO, don’t do it under the illusion that saying YOLO exonerates you from responsibility for being a moron. Do it because you want to, because it will make you a better, happier person. Do it because, you only live once.

features @ theorbital.co.uk

FEATURES

Your soul decays into liquid that pours out from your eyes Like the cold grey raindrops that descend from an unforgiving sky Your soul’s a rotten pit at the core of the worst of mankind Go ahead; ask me what it’s like to die Ask what it’s like to be robbed of your life Go ahead; test me again like you did the last time Remember the dream you had, where the man without a face had you buried beneath the sand?

Beneath the catacombs where you were strangled by your own brother’s hands Remember the dream you had, where you walked as you once did with your confidence intact?

Can’t you see that all you are is an aging scar?

A blister that serves to remind us all of your undesired mark Can’t you see how far we’ve come ahead of what you are?

I could spend fruitless hours in an ineffectual exchange Urging you against self-derision knowing you’ll never change Would I spend my second life away for a man that stays the same?

Reflect back on all the times you swore to amend mistakes Thereby rendering your useless life to a never ending chase Reflect back on all the other ways you’re failed and disgraced That day we spoke of how our friendship broke, watching the rain fall on the bay Of how you thought the world would end if I found a better way That day we spoke I walked the path I chose, and now it’s the same today Put your face up against the glass and look down towards the street Watch as the world’s teardrops fall to where you and they will meet Put your face through the shards of glass that soon trails behind your feet My inconsequential little friend Can you ascend just once before the end?

Come on, I know you can do a little better For once and for the last time, strive for higher All The world Wanted you to be Was One more Stain on the concrete We were all angels - once I regret your life 64 times for each of the 64 floors Cursing you, the fallen angel, as you spread your wings to soar Then smiling while realizing that mankind flies no more.

64 ISSUE 3

WRITTEN BY FAISAL BINZAGR

THE

ORBITAL | 15

Your SU staff are joining forces and

Wearing It Pink for

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Raffle open to Students Ticket strips £1

BE A

PINK

HERO

Prizes from Domino’s ArtiDeli Tickets for Wear It Pink night at the SU 25/10/13 £10 worth of SU vouchers Plus Sports and Societies balls tickets up for grabs And more!

Tuesday 22nd October Look out for anything pink in and around the SU @SURHUL facebook.com/SURHUL

Go to http://www.wearitpink.org/ or http://www.breastcancercampaign.org/ for more information

O

O

CLUELESS

LIFESTYLE

BE FRUGAL, LOOK FABULOUS 1940s FASHION

ABOUT FASHION? MAISIE BOVIN GDON

Welcome back to the revival of the 90s, and the return of the iconic Clueless ‘back to school’ trend! This Autumn/Winter is all about tartan checks and plaid skirts just like Tai, Cher and Dionne, so yes: this does mean a return to those secondary school kilts that we thought we had loved and left behind.

To further help with achieving the preppy look, layering is essential - I want you to layer knitwear with shirts so just a little white collar is poking out. Layering is also exactly what we need in this bi-polar weather, and for those 9 o’clock lectures when it is still a little chilly outside. To complete the look, add a little backpack or a satchel (depending on how weighty those anthologies are), or even some woolly tights or socks and a pair of brogues. Then you’re good to hit the lectures!

Another love of mine this season is the oversized Boyfriend Coat. Boyfriend coats have dominated London Fashion week this year, with Burberry’s 2014 Spring/ Summer collection beautifully fusing pastel colouring and tomboy tailoring to cement their name as one of fashion’s leading giants. However, as always the High Street can suffice. You can find an affordable version of the Boyfriend Coat in New Look, or online at ASOS. The £39.99 version is many noughts less than Burberry’s and is a great investment, as this trend is going to stick around for a while.

On an even cheaper level you can raid Egham’s multitude of charity shops for a vintage buy, or search through your boyfriend’s, your dad’s, or even your grandad’s wardrobe, and steal theirs for some oversized but tailored clothes. This style of coat is ideal for the cooler days to pair with a knitted scarf, but will also be bang on trend for next year, so I wholeheartedly recommend it as this year’s essential staple item.

Don’t forget that most shops take your Royal Holloway college card as a means to claim your Student Discount, whether that’s 10% or 20% - why wouldn’t you?

ISSUE 3

As university students – particularly those who started their degrees in 2012 when tuition fees skyrocketed – I believe one thing that the vast majority of us would agree on is that money matters can be quite the dampener of spirits. Embarrassingly, it is only now that I have reached my third and final year at Royal Holloway that the idea of rationing has vaguely influenced my purchases – whether it is food, alcohol, clothes, alcohol, books or even alcohol. Believe it or not the magic word in that last sentence was ‘rationing’.

When considering the word ‘ration’, it immediately turns thoughts to the 1940s – to wartime Britain, when people really understood the need to be frugal and sensible with money, and to generally make the most of what you had. Now, while I am in no way suggesting that the circumstances surrounding the men and women of the 1940s and those faced by us are the same, I do believe that there are valuable lessons and ideas that we can take hold of and use today.

There has been a huge resurgence of 1940s fashion in the last few years: stockings, floral dresses, brogues, head scarves and trench coats – several of these items being staples for many of us today, and which don’t need to be sought out in expensive shops because they are everywhere! If you’re yet to fully explore Egham high street, I recommend you do so as you may be in for an absolute bargain in one of its many charity shops. Floral dresses and knee-length coats, as well as several pieces of beautiful vintage jewellery, are very popular items in all of them. There are also just as many bargains online men’s trench coats are being sold on Ebay for ninety-nine pence, and in the sale section of the New Look website you can bag a pair of brogues for a mere twelve pounds.

It really goes to show that the fashion of the forties certainly hasn’t died out. On the contrary, it is booming!

If you want a chance to show off your beautiful fortiesinspired outfits, you must come along to the History Society’s annual Blitz Ball on the 11th of November.

Tickets will be on sale from Monday 14th October, and you can find more information on RHUL’s History Society Facebook page. Let the good times (victory) roll!

JAMIE ROSE DUKE

THE

ORBITAL | 17

LIFESTYLE

E I GO, RoHo, HERR NTO! O O T O T F F O If you ever find yourself in need of a novel way to procrastinate, or want to find out more about my year abroad, then take a look at my blog: joelmoore100.tumblr.com My name is Joel, and I’m a third year History student currently writing from approximately 3500 miles away from you as part of Royal Holloway’s Study Abroad programme. Swapping life in sleepy Surrey for the chance to study at the university of Toronto may seem like a stark contrast, and I would be lying through my newly maplesyrup-coated teeth if I said that it wasn’t.

Arriving with nowhere to live, luck had it that I found not a quaint place in the Green, but instead a luxury condo just across from the CN Tower; including a swimming pool, BBQ terrace, gym, and other amenities. There’s even a Pet Spa, which, understandably, I haven’t yet got round to using.

The city really is a place of distractions.

Ranging from various premieres at TIFF (The Toronto International Film Festival), to midnight vintage shop crawls, the various bars and restaurants, and even visits farther afield to Montréal, it would seem that Toronto is both the best and worst place for a wide-eyed student with hopes of obtaining a degree. It’s certainly easy to be swept up in the whimsy of Frosh week (Freshers’ week to us), and it’s a strange experience feeling like a newcomer again; though admittedly two years of University has left me not-so fresh faced.

I shan’t bore you with details of my courses at UofT (not half as fun a nickname as RoHo), but I will say that, simply: I love it.

I will also say that the stereotypes of North American universities with their bow-tie wearing lecturers, picturesque campuses, and sheer enormity, are all completely true.

Okay, so there’s no Founder’s Building, but I bet that UofT could put up a considerable fight. Go on, just Google it.

I probably could have written a special edition of The Orbital just on my first month here, but that would be greedy. Instead I will say that if you are considering a Year Abroad, then go for it. Though many of the experiences I’ve had are unique to Toronto, the sheer sense of adventure can be found wherever you go, and I wholeheartedly recommend it as part of your university experience.

JOEL MOORE ARTICLE & PHOTOGRAPHY

18 | THE

ORBITAL

lifestyle @ theorbital.co.uk

FACES OF HOLLOWAY

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GYAN GURUNG

LAUREN LANE I’m a first year Media Arts student from the embarrassing town of Brentwood in Essex! I love feminism, films and various TV shows (I’m currently watching far too many to keep up with!), and I’m hoping to get into the film and television industry after university. I really love the costume design for Chuck in Pushing Daisies, so I’d say that’s my fashion inspiration; I love the style of her dresses and use of bright colours. A lot of my outfits don’t follow this style though – I usually just wear dresses that I feel comfortable and confident in. As this is my first year of university, I have a relatively simple accomplishment I wish to achieve; I’m hoping to make it through first year without giving myself food poisoning since I’m absolutely awful at cooking! Hopefully I’ll learn how to cook properly, as well as actually passing first year and making new friends.

HAVE A BALL: BE A GHOUL ANJALEE PATEL

How to create a Zombie Nation Standard costume right? Here are a few tips on how to stand out in the inevitable sea of zombies during the Halloween period. Want a Zombie Nation? GET SOME FRIENDS (to do the same, not just generally).

What you’ll need: Face Paint (black, white, red, green) Old clothing Scissors 1. Decide on an old pair of jeans/ trousers and shirt that you don’t mind ruining. Failing that, Egham drowns in charity shops so find a few classics at a cheap price.

2. Tear at the fabric, using scissors to create rugged slashes (DON’T SLICE ANY FINGERS OFF!).

3. Grab some red face paint and smear the tears for a bloodstained effect.

4. Cover your face and any other areas of your body (including the skin on show from the slashes in clothing) on show with white or green face paint.

Black face paint can darken the eyes, creating a hollow effect, and mix red and black for patches around the mouth, cheek and neck. Similar sorts of skin painting can be used to become a vampire.

20 | THE

ORBITAL

Halloween is the only time of year where you can dress up as anything you want: from your favourite television or film character, to something more spooky, like a vampire or zombie.

If you’re running low on ideas for what to dress up as, here are a few suggestions for simple but fun costumes which are sure to make you look as gruesome as the undead!

For girls, what do we see as the most traditional of all Halloween costumes? Well, it’s likely to be:

the witch.

This may be because it is both easy and cheap to put together. To start off with, you’ll need a black dress of any length, which most of you will probably have in your wardrobes. Don’t worry if you don’t have one though – you can always pick one up from ebay, or from the high street. It’s generally worth owning a black dress anyway, because it’s incredibly versatile and can be worn for almost any other event. Once you have your dress, match it either with boots or heels, depending on which goes best with your own particular dress. Now you have your basic costume sorted, it’s time for some face paint. Green is ideal, and, if you don’t have face paint at hand, you can always use eye shadow. A handy tip is to apply a primer or some moisturiser to your face first, so the eye shadow doesn’t smudge or rub off so readily. A pointed hat and a broomstick ties the outfit together, and can be brought cheaply at any costume shop or even online. Egham Essentials is probably a very good bet.

If, after having read this, you’re still stuck for ideas (or money), you could simply buy a white sheet and cut two eye holes into it – or more imaginatively, you could buy yourself a mask and cloak! Team a pair of cat ears with some black clothes, and paint on a nose and whiskers for an instant witch’s cat. Generally speaking, it’s definitely worth investing in some face paint – over your years at Royal Holloway you will definitely need it at some point or other.

Better yet, if all else fails, you could always wear your animal onesie. The perk? When you’re all partied out, you can sleep in your costume. lifestyle @ theorbital.co.uk

: S C I S A B G COOKIN with BRYONY BOWIE Article & Photography

LIFESTYLE

BONFIRE HONEYCOMB

EVERYBODY LOVES HONEYCOMB – have you ever known anyone to decline the offer of a Crunchie? Making your own is guaranteed to impress, but don’t be daunted.

It’s super quick and easy and requires minimal effort – all things considered it’s probably easier than making beans on toast (though, admittedly, less healthy). It’s especially perfect as a cheer-up for this time of year, when the weather’s getting that bit chillier, and you leave lectures to discover it’s suddenly dark outside.

INGREDIENTS (TO FILL A 20CM TIN): - 80g / 3oz butter - 160g / 5½oz caster sugar - 80g / 3oz golden syrup - 2tsp bicarbonate of soda

1. Grease the tin with vegetable oil (any flavourless oil is fine). The best way to do this is to pour in

about a tablespoon and then use a pastry brush – or your fingers – to distribute it and make sure there’s no excess.

2. Gently heat the butter, sugar and golden syrup in a large saucepan until the sugar has dissolved.

3. Turn up the heat and boil rapidly, WITHOUT stirring – if the mixture goes darker at one side then swirl the pan, but don’t even touch your spoon. Do this until it starts to turn a golden ‘honeycomb’ colour. Don’t let it go too dark or it will catch and then taste acrid, and no one wants that.

4. Add the bicarbonate and stir rapidly for a few seconds, then pour it into the oiled tin and leave

to set. I tend to make mine in the evening, so it sets overnight, though it only takes a couple of hours really.

5. When it’s all firm, you get to smash it up. I’ve found a really good tool for this is our knife sharpener, but you could bash it with the end of a rolling pin or just about anything – this could prove a handy use for that massive anthology, though cover the honeycomb with cling-film first to avoid awkward explanations as to why The Complete Works of Shakespeare is now sporting a sticky layer of sugar instead of a dust-jacket.

For a plethora of foodie tips and ideas, check out www.thisisunifood.blogspot.com

ISSUE 3

THE

ORBITAL | 21

ARTS

!

S I RIS

C IC

For those of you who read The Times (though why would you read anything other than The Orbital?) bad news: Libby Purves has been fired as their theatre reviewer. It remains to be seen whether they’ll replace her or if this puts a stop to regular theatre coverage in The Times but either way, after the axing of the arts section of the Independent on Sunday, this marks a dark time in the world of criticism and has About Time is many asking “Are theatre critics necessary?” certainly a rewarding The answer is yes: without them I’d have a hard time filling this section. But film that delivers exactly even in an age where social media makes everyone a critic, it’s good to have what the tagline promises: informed professionals bringing years of experience, bringing knowledge of “A new funny film about love. theatrical history and offering greater insight than any old blogger. When the With a bit of time travel.” It is new artistic director of the National Theatre is announced I want someone Richard Curtis’ most captivating who knows the ins and outs of the building to tell me about the director’s and inspirational movie about true (or directors’) credentials with authority. A critic ought to be someone love and “extraordinary ordinary with a superior knowledge of theatre, able to contextualise and judge people.” a show both as a text in itself and as a presentation of a text and Essentially, it’s a fresh take on the yet also driven by basic emotional and intellectual responses. romantic comedy genre, as a relatable, If there is a crisis in the critical world, it is because shy, young man of twenty-one, Tim (Domhnall criticism is too tied up with theatre as an event rather than Gleeson), is determined to find his true love. He a performance- so many critics write about their personal declares: “for me, it was always going to be about biases rather than the theatrical piece which they love.”

It is only when his father (Bill Nighy) reveals hold bias. We’re not having this discussion about the secret that all the men in the family can time travel music critics who can’t make or break an album – that Tim realises he can use it to capture the heart of the most people know their tastes regardless – but charming Mary (Rachel McAdams).

However, Tim soon music critics are important: they can place discovers that time travel cannot control the unpredictability a new recording of a symphony against its and hilarious moments of true love and life itself. past recordings and highlight where the It is most certainly the feel good film of Autumn 2013 and conductor found a new way to express one of the best things about it is that there is something in it for a musical phrase, or tell us how the everyone.

Curtis and cast successfully pull off an original, touching new Bob Dylan album fits into a performance that will make you cry, smile and really laugh-out-loud. substantial oeuvre. Critics (no About Time proposes an answer to that nagging question: pressure, contributors!) ought to be reviewers, historians and raconteurs rolled into one. If all critics Through the voice of Tim, we ask ourselves ‘what if I had done that were, we’d not need differently?’ In conclusion, we learn to take aleaf out of Tim’s book and think that we this discussion. “must try to live everyday as if it was the final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.”

NICHOLAS Simply, it is about the conquests of love, the unpredictability of everyday life and the HYDER ability to time travel. You will love it so make sure you don’t miss your chance to see it at the cinema! Get together with friends, housemates, siblings, drag your boyfriend or even go with your parents. You won’t want to miss it.

T I CR

‘what if you could re-live your day?’

ABOUT TIME

22 | THE

ORBITAL

written by LILY WADDELL

arts @ theorbital.co.uk

HOLYDRUG

Chilean psych trio Holydrug Couple have become something of a hit on the worldwide ‘dream-rock’ stage. This year alone they played Austin Psych Festival and last month an esteemed set at the Liverpool International Festival of Psychedelia. Things are certainly looking good going into their Oct/Nov European tour.

As it happened, I turned up to the show about an hour and a half early. This would usually be a bad thing, but in the intimate venue, I looked around and saw the band casually eating snacks in the corner of the bar. Unsurprisingly, they’re awesome guys.

They spoke about the local music scene back home in Chile and their weekly jam sessions and speedboat rides at a friend’s beach house (wait, speedboat rides? Yes, check out their new video “It’s Dawning”).

Kicking off the show was a five minute space jam, featuring some layered pedal work by guitarist and bandleader Ives Sepulveda. From the off it’s easy to understand the common comparisons to Tame Impala. This watery jam then burst into the eastern influenced intro of “Counting Sailboats” from the band’s latest LP “Noctuary”, which has perhaps one of the catchiest bass lines in the set. As with most of the show, they took the standard order of their songs and then jammed out long sections of solos, often segueing into the next song. One notable example

I receive a call from a friend, asking if I’d like to attend Unity: A Concert for Stephen Lawrence, on Sunday 29th September. I hear excitement from the other end of the line, with squeals of “Emeli Sande is performing! And Tinie Tempah!

Oh, and Jamie Cullum! Oh please, please, please can we go?” Tentatively, I say yes, transfer the money to her account and forget about it for the rest of the day.

I casually slip it into a conversation that I am attending the concert, but I receive negative responses, such as “Oh, I wouldn’t have done that, Charlotte. There’s too much politics involved with that” and “Are they still doing that, it’s been a few years...?” I began feeling as if I was supporting something that I shouldn’t, that there was more involved with me going to a concert which seemed to hold so much weight in peoples’ minds, not only with the people I knew, but nationally too. I questioned how this could be different from any other concert; how wrong I was.

Unity: A Concert for Stephen Lawrence

COUPLE:

ARTS

LIVE REVIE W

of this was the performance of “Ancient Land” from 2011’s “Awe”, which took the show to a whole new, and deeper, level. After finishing the main album version of the song, they proceeded to play for another ten to fifteen minutes to close the set.

Being so close to the group meant everyone could see how tight and focused this band actually are. From videos of past shows it’s easy to dismiss Holydrug Couple as a bunch of amateur stoner-hippies just playing chords for hours, but when you’re so close up, the glances and subtle gestures between the players makes it clearly apparent that the changes and timings have been precisely organised. However, even if these guys were just messing around on stage, their music isn’t about how well they pull off a particularly challenging riff or two. Holydrug Couple create an atmosphere in the room, a seemingly drug-fueled space-jam psych-party adventure into the minds of three Chilean dudes. JOE BURNS

Entering the arena, I felt a buzz of excitement, a shared elation as each act performed two songs that represented the cause; to act against racism. Naively did I believe this was merely a concert in Stephen’s name, and not a symbol of the work that has been done since his murder all those years ago. Despite having little knowledge of the event itself, I became aware that through the music performed, Unity, the charity set up by Stephen’s mother, spread the message that racism was still very much present in society now and that we must all strive for it to be stopped.

It was through music (acts below) that the message could be shared amongst everyone, in a way I didn’t think could happen. I left the concert that night, feeling as if all 15,000 of us who attended had shared a special moment whilst listening to the voices of all those acts. The art of music proved itself a channel to be shared by all, a way a group of people could strive for one aim. CHARLOTTE COLE

BOARDMASTERS

Boardmasters brings you the very best of the beach-side lifestyle. Get away for a festival weekend, try your hand at surfing in Cornwall, watch the pro surf competitions unfold, eat well, drink well (in moderation!) and enjoy a perfect billing of live summer acts, all along the legendary Cornish coastline.

This summer, Newquay hosted another unforgettable Boardmasters festival, as seems to be the case every year. Here, we see the bringing together of the best global talent of surfing, BMX and skaters all the way through to 5 year old clutching his brand new board.

The sun was shining all week at Fistral Beach and there was not a disappointed face in sight. The surf village provided hours of entertainment, with vintage stalls, a Bob Marley tent blasting out reggae tunes and not forgetting the humble Cornish pasty. Oh, and the endless supply of Cornish rattler cider. So, it’s safe to say that everybody was merry; with a Ben and Jerry’s stall close by, why wouldn’t you be?

Newquay itself was animated with excitement; there was no escaping longboarders as they dodged around you in the busy street. Vans were the footwear 24 | THE

ORBITAL

of choice with fashion statements from a selection of smaller brands which soon, I am sure, Newquay will have the whole of the South West desiring, such as Santa Cruz and Volcom. The high street was crowded with people of all ages and occupations, but always a familiar dreadlock wetsuit style was in sight.

It was Alex Coleborn who stole the show yet again. His winning performance on the BMX event saw everything from huge airs and tech tricks to terrifying slams as he chased a triple tail whip.

Coleborn landing; this was one of the moments of the week, and was met with glee by the observers. Dannie Carlson rightly won the skating competition with a half cab blunt 360 shove it and blunt tre-flip. Finally the awards for surfing went to Billy Stairmand and Keisha Eyre, more than worthy winners.

The whole week was rounded off with

a spectacular music festival on the cliff tops above Watergate Bay, with music from The Vaccines, Basement Jaxx and Ben Howard.

If you get the chance to go to 2014 Boardmasters, you will not be disappointed. ABI TURNER WANT TO HIT UP CORNWALL FOR BOARDMASTERS NEXT YEAR? KEEP UPDATED VIA THIS WEBSITE:

www.boardmasters.co.uk

arts @ theorbital.co.uk

WE NEED WRITERS! If you are interested in theatre, film or music, all the way through to graffiti or dance, get in touch via the email address at the bottom of these pages. As is the same for each section, we want quality content to keep coming in, so get involved now!

ARTS

MAN OF STEEL Despite the amount of money used to create Hollywood films this summer, there was only one film I was excited for, Man of Steel.

However I was incredibly disappointed. It was a ‘good’ film: well-made, good action scenes, and good writing. The issue is that it wasn’t bad, just average. Distinctly average. Amazingly average.

There was nothing new, nothing adventurous, and nothing to force me to keep my eyes on the screen.

Some may now argue saying, well, what is exactly wrong with that? It is silly light entertainment, keeping me entertained for 2 hours, and so is worthy of my £10.

To this I offer a rebuttal. If someone had £200 million to build a car, would you accept a car that had an average top speed? Then why would you accept an average film with a budget of £200 million?

Realistically, we have seen nothing truly innovative come out of Hollywood since The Matrix, made with a budget of £64 million – small by Hollywood standards.

The effects were something new, and yet instead of breaking new ground with CGI since, we see the same scenes of cosmopolitan cities being destroyed over and over again (Transformers 1, 2 and 3, Iron Man 2 and 3, Avengers Assemble, etc.).

Of course, there will always be exceptions, but the reality is that the last ten years have been ridiculously average from Hollywood. This is best highlighted by the response to Avengers Assemble. Five stars. Once a rating held for the best films, now a rating of average. Avengers Assemble is a film which required a handful of films before it to do its character development. It is a good film, a very entertaining film, but it is not groundbreaking in the slightest. I recently read comparisons between Joss Whedon and Shakespeare. A reality check is drastically needed.

Expectations have lowered, and we now have a generation of cinemagoers who are happy with average, a trend which is dooming for cinemas future. And while Hollywood’s standards fall, other storytelling formats flourish.

Cinema’s Citizen Kane moment was in 1941.

Empire hailed another storytelling form’s Citizen Kane moment

ISSUE 3

this year. Like Welles, the creator was making his debut, a young talent who decided to create a story with a simple basis. Two characters, getting closer throughout the story. That was it. In a form that, like film, is based in explosions and guns, he decided to centre on character. It used clever, new techniques to immerse its audience into the story, to place us into the central world of its two characters.

The world and plot that became the video game The Last of Us was there to facilitate the characters, Joel and Ellie, and the human story that happens, not the other way around. The game has been hailed across the board as something special. For the first time in a good few years, I felt like I was watching a blockbuster which made me truly care for the characters. Unfortunately it was in a videogame.

This has been going on for a while. Just look back to Bioshock, a game made in 2007, which is both an action horror and critique on the political views of Ayn Rand. It is an interesting comment on Hollywood’s lack of ambition that the film version of Bioshock was scrapped for being too much of a risk. Hollywood didn’t want to give $200 million on a risky project, and deemed it money better spent on films like John Carter. Look how well that turned out. It isn’t just video games which are reaching new ground either; we are seeing similar high standards in other storytelling formats such as TV, with the wonderful Breaking Bad. It is seemingly only film that is struggling to release anything groundbreaking.

These falling standards in Hollywood are going to continue while other storytelling forms such as games and TV get better and better, while films like Man of Steel continue to make big bucks.

Realistically, only one thing can stop this degradation of standards, and that is the audience choosing to watch something more original.

Hollywood is a business, and will release what will make most money. Expect more of Hollywood, and Hollywood will give you more. THOMAS MCDONALD

THE

ORBITAL | 25

ARTS

UNIVERSITY OF LONDON: PART

At Royal Holloway, we’ve got some exciting events coming up, such as Little Shop of Horrors, Much Ado About Nothing and Clash of the Comics. Here, though, in the first part of our three part feature on the University of London, we look at what kind of shows Queen Mary and the Institute in Paris put on!

ONE

Q

ueen MARY

University of London

Despite its inner city location, Queen Mary has plenty of societies for students to get involved in, whether just as extracurricular socialising or to demonstrate burgeoning artistic flair.

Queen Mary is well known for its active theatre company, who only recently performed new writing at Edinburgh festival. They run weekly activities such as ‘Flatpack’ an improvisation session, as well as annual events such as the Young Writer’s festival, where this year they will be performing work by David Hare.

As the feminist group at Queen Mary, QMEquality organise the annual Festival 51, a celebration of women’s rights that includes film screenings as well as a traditional performance by students of the Vagina Monologues, this event has been constantly acclaimed each year.

Though not a university known for its music, the Rock Metal society has been consistently popular at Queen Mary for years.

Members are treated to society trips to metal concerts as well as joint music events with similar societies at Kings College and University College, such as the clubnight ‘Facedown.’

A mention has to be given to Queen Mary’s media outlets.

QMessenger are Cub are for those who wish to demonstrate their journalism skills. QMessenger acts as the bi-weekly source of campus news whilst Cub explores the cultural side of life. With regular socials and an annual media summit, this is the ultimate place for any budding journalists.

Meanwhile, QMTV and Quest are the union’s television and radio shows, QMTV creates news shows such as ‘Mind the Gap’ and their hilarious look at fresher’s events in ‘QMTV does Freshers’. Last year, they showcased a drama series called ‘Sick’ so they will inevitably be bringing a mix of hard hitting, humorous and topical to this academic year. Quest Radio run a mix of daytime and specialised programming that showcases student’s comic and charismatic abilities. BELPHOEBE NEW 26 | THE

ORBITAL

University of London

INSTITUTENI

PARIS

The ULIP production of 2011-2012 was an ambitious venture and was the first of ULIP Theatre productions to be shortlisted in the National Student Drama Festival. Dormez Vous? was the assemblage of the cast’s most absurd and disturbing dreams into a surrealist representation of the darkest corners of our minds. It was confusing, frightening, hilariously nutty and as irrational as our own subconscious.

The play was constructed of around 10 dreams or nightmares which distorted into another, imitating the inexhaustible element of dream narratives. As each dream ‘flowed’ into the next, an unnamed ‘sleeper’ on stage would shudder or twitch according to the subject of the dream, reminding the audience that Britney Spears chorus dancing, paedophile teachers and paralysis all have a logical place in the illogical world of dreams.

The play shocked and confused which was of course the writer and director’s intention. Leah Morgan, now a ULIP graduate, was daring enough to make the play a reality and she was a huge inspiration in making ULIP Theatre more creative and brave.

Well You’re in France now! was a different affair and added an element of comedy to ULIP Theatre. The play, written and directed by myself and fellow cast member Agnieszka Konieczny, came about after a long summer of watching far too many episodes of The Two Ronnies and Only Fools and Horses. After two years in France being baffled by French humour, there was something about British humour that I missed and wanted to incorporate in our next play.

The play was a series of sketches based on various Anglophone and Francophone stereotypes creating staple caricatures. The characters were not necessarily revolutionary in their originality (the American couple who have never left their hometown; the hippy middle class Brits who think that they know France better than a Frenchman; an indifferent taciturn French waitress whose disdain for tourists is almost as much as it is for Parisians) but it was putting them on stage in France that made the play unique.

The play went down a storm amongst the ULIP student body; it was that little bit of laughing at ourselves and laughing at others that reignited a nostalgia for the honesty in British humour. I have to say I saw quite a few French members of the audience laughing too, although I don’t know if that was at the representations of themselves or rather at us! KATIE O’DOWDALL arts @ theorbital.co.uk

W

W

SPORTS & SOCIETIES

ELCOME FAYRE: A REVIEW

Freshers everywhere were eager to see what Royal Holloway had in store for the three years they would be here, as well as second & third years looking at sports and societies to join in their final and penultimate years.

The Media Fayre, held on the 23rd and 24th September, saw the likes of The Orbital, Insanity Radio FM, rhubarbTV, Media Society and the Film Festival Society set up stalls outside the Windsor Building.

Media students and Freshers alike got involved and signed up to be a part of the vast media outlets available. Great news for us, and we can’t wait to hear more from you all!

Next up for Freshers were the Sports and Societies Fayre, held on 26th and 27th September. Was it a success? Well, there were more than 1,100 attendees on Friday and more than double that on Thursday; not a bad turnout for a start!

With Royal Holloway boasting over 100 different sports clubs and societies for students to dig their teeth into, a good half an hour to an hour was needed to make your way through each one.

The all new Harry Potter society had a particularly pleasing couple of days with a reported 500 sign-ups, almost 6% of the entire student population at RoHo.

From religion and the arts, to languages and debating societies, there was plenty for everyone. Not one student could possibly say there isn’t something here for them to do at Royal Holloway!

The Sports Fayre was equally as popular over the two days. Hundreds of students signed up to try out sports whether they had played them before or not, the teams doing their bit by entertaining and drawing in as many people in as they could.

With demonstrations being put on by Judo, MMA, golf and badminton the sports hall was lively and enjoyable to be in! It was a great way for different clubs to show off their skills and attract new members.

There were other stands that were not societies or sports such as the gym, advertising its numerous forms of membership and beActive scheme, coming in at a miniscule £35 and definitely a great way to keep fit if competition isn’t really for you!

The Dominos stand was giving away free fizzy drinks and pizza boxes enabling students to get free pizzas. The environmental stand was encouraging students to ‘switch of the lights’ in their halls and become an ambassador if they didn’t live in halls.

The fun wasn’t limited to indoors either! With free table tennis outdoors to go with a bbq,

“As a new society, we as a committee believed that it would be tough to generate profound interest in the society. However, the few hours that we’ve been given on the stall have been crazy; we gained a huge amount of interest and great feedback. We believe that the only way is up from here.”

SUKHPAL BHAMRAH FITNESS SOCIETY PRESIDENT

outdoor volleyball and other fun activities, just as with the Societies Fayre, there was something for everyone and the capacity to make an entire day of it. Meeting new people, topping up tans and enjoying all the sporting opportunities available to students...

All in all, every stall and the fayre generally was very successful and a great event with very useful information. Good work to the Students’ Union and Student Activities! ALEX REILLY COOPER & NATASHA KHALEEQ (ALSO PHOTOGRAPHY)

SPORTS & SOCIETIES

WOMEN’S RUGBY: CHRISSIE AMBROSE

How do you get people to try something they haven’t previously attempted without using the cliché “try something new?”

It’s one of those phrases you hear everywhere during the first couple of months of the academic year: “learn a new language.”, “ever tried Latin dancing?”, “ever shot at pretend-zombies with a nerf gun? Try it, it’s new!”

A month in, and I highly suspect it’s getting pretty old. So, I’m going to try a new (but, ironically clichéd) tactic.

Sure you aren’t missing out?

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.

Ready?

Don’t try Women’s Rugby. You really won’t enjoy it. Sitting at home watching the latest series of Made in Chelsea and Bargain Hunt is probably a better use of your time. Who wants to keep fit and meet fantastic people anyway?

I know what you’re thinking: “Royal Holloway is so big. Going off campus to away matches every two weeks, seeing new places and generally getting out of the bubble-like Surrey area is too much hassle.”

Exactly right.

EGHAM HAS IT ALL! You know that common sinking feeling, when you simply have too many people to share an evening with: a night out at the SU with; a

drink at the pub, or even a pizza night.

A weekly Wednesday social with drinking games, most of which I guarantee you will never heard of.

Not to mention club tours; going everywhere from Tenerife to the remote Irish countryside.

So there it is. I have attempted to persuade you to play rugby, by telling you not to play rugby.

Now you know rugby really is a sport to be played by all. And not only is the sport fantastic, but the people you will meet are too. So, if you can find it within yourself (hangover permitting) to pop along to one of our training sessions on Tuesdays and Fridays from 5 until 7, I guarantee you will be a better person for it. You may even get a kick out of trying something new.

...damn.

TO W

BENVINDOS

À

SOCIEDADE PORTUGUESA!

Portuguese is the 7th most spoken language in the world with over 240 million speakers. Being Portuguese we felt it was time to create a Portuguese society.

That being said, you don’t have to be Portuguese to join, we welcome any and all students that are interested in learning a new language and about our culture. We aim to provide a fun and exciting learning experience in our debut year!

With language lessons, 5-a-side football, volunteering opportunities, Portuguese meals on campus and socials with not only Royal Holloway students but students in various Portuguese societies in London there is something for everyone.

We are looking at also going to Lisbon, the Portuguese capital; something that is definitely not to be missed!

Find us on Facebook at ‘Portuguese society RHUL’ for all the information you will need! If you‘re looking for an adventurous and memorable year, join our society! NATASHA KHALEEQ 28 | THE

ORBITAL

sportsandsocs @ theorbital.co.uk

LACROSSE ... in clogs This summer, the Lacrosse Club stormed the beaches of Calais and marched up through Belgium to the Netherlands with one thing on their mind; TOUR! After a long season for the Men’s, Women’s and Mixed Teams it was nice to cap off a great year with a memorable trip to Rotterdam.

Our hotel was right by the famous Erasmus Bridge on the waterside!

The city was very modern and, in our free time, we visited the various tourist attractions and the city’s numerous bars.

Many of us got the chance to sample the local cuisine.

Dishes such as the ‘Big Mac’ and the ‘Double Whopper’ were very note-worthy.

Our first fixture was against Den Haag, who unfortunately had a poor turnout. However we filled out

by CHRIS BEER

their team with members from our own squad and had a great day of lacrosse, beer and barbequed food.

The evening was arguably the most eventful ,as the Men’s team “smurfed up” and the Girls went “tight and bright”; all going out on the town together.

The following morning, the women were treated to an all-day Spa whilst the men made their mark on Rotterdam; drinking the city dry.

Our next games were against the Amsterdam Lions with Men’s and Women’s matches; we spent the hours before face-off in the capital of Holland. Some visited rather unusual museums, whilst others browsed the many shops the city had to offer.

The women had a great game despite losing a key defender to injury halfway into the match.

On top of that, the Freshers really showed how much they had improved over the year and gave the Dutch a run for their money.

The Men’s fixture was a brutal game against the Champions of the Netherland’s Premier League. It was a last chance for some of the boys to play together and, despite the talent from the other team, we only lost 9-3; a very respectable score.

It was an amazing trip in the finest company!

BRING ON THIS YEAR!

WATCH Attention freshers and returning students! Despite the negative headlines emerging from the Middle East for the past few years, it isn’t all bad news! At the Middle East Society, we are particularly excited for the academic year ahead of us, but we need you to be a part of it for it to be a success!

Plans are underway to finally begin the popularly requested weekly Arabic lessons for members, which have been long overdue.

In addition to this we are also working on hosting a series of events, including but not limited to: debates on campus, talks from ISSUE 3

outside speakers, trips to London, socials, as well as playing our part during RAG week.

Whether you are from the region yourself, or just take an interest in:

Middle Eastern food, languages, sport, culture or current political affairs, we want to hear from you!

Come and take part in a developing society which is preparing to have a much larger academic and social presence on campus.

FACEBOOK: /rhullax TWITTER: @RHUL_Lacrosse

AHLAN WA SAHLAN

As part of a renewed effort to engage with members, our social media outreach has undergone a revamp! Like us on Facebook RHUL Middle East Society, follow us on Twitter @RHULmiddleeast or email us at middleeastRHUL@ outlook.com to get involved and keep up to date with upcoming events. Also keep an eye out for a YouTube channel launching very soon!

We look forward to welcoming you to the Middle East Society!

SAMI RAMSDEN THE

ORBITAL | 29

REMEMBER THE NAME

LESNAR “I’m alive and well and ready to kick some ass” Brock Lesnar before he became UFC Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the world

Standing at 6 foot and 3 inches tall, weighing in at 296 pounds, it’s easy to see why the self-proclaimed “ass-kicker” was being touted as the next big thing early on in his professional wrestling career.

What wasn’t predicted, however, was the lasting impact he would go on to have on the business, as well as in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) under the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) promotion.

Born on the 12th July, 1977, Brock Edward Lesnar is arguably one of the most decorated, dedicated and dominating athletes in sporting history. He was unbeaten in his senior year of high school as an amateur wrestler (33 bouts, 33 wins); the 30 | THE

ORBITAL

“Cage-fighting Carnivore” would also go on to have an incredible college wrestling career, losing just five times in 111 fights.

As his amateur career was capped off with a first-place finish at the National Collegiate Athletics Association (NCAA) Championships in wrestling, it didn’t take long for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) to take notice and sign the young superstar from Minnesota to a developmental contract.

No time was wasted in making the latest WWE recruit a contender in main events.

Within a year of his 2002 debut, Lesnar was crowned King of the Ring, won the Royal Rumble and headlined Wrestlemania to win his second WWE title.

By winning his first WWE championship against The Rock at WWE’s annual summer extravaganza, Summerslam, Lesnar then became the youngest WWE champion in the company’s history at the age of 25; a record previously held by The Rock himself.

One more WWE title and one more marquee match-up at Wrestlemania XX

later, and the wrestling machine was no more. ‘Brock Lesnar the NFL Player’ seemed to have a better ring to the man himself and, so, in March 2004, Lesnar left the wrestling world to try out for the Minnesota Vikings in the National Football League.

“This is no load of bull; it’s no WWE stunt. I am dead serious about this. I ain’t afraid of anything, and I ain’t afraid of anybody. I’ve been an underdog in athletics since I was 5. I got zero college offers for wrestling.

Now people say I can’t play football, that it’s a joke.

I say I can”

However, despite his undeniable athletic prowess and domineering presence, Lesnar didn’t get the chance to show his potential on the football field. A late cut by the Vikings, his pro-ball career was brought to a very quick end.

Never one to sit on his muscles, after a sportsandsocs @ theorbital.co.uk

SPORTS & SOCIETIES contender, Shane Carwin, at UFC: 106. The fight would be pushed back twice as Lesnar was struck by the “worst period of illness of [his] life.”

Carwin defeated Mir for the Interim UFC Heavyweight Championship at UFC: 111 in Lesnar’s absence.

“It was a good fight, but he’s wearing a make-believe belt.

I’ve got the real championship belt” Lesnar after the Carwin vs. Mir fight The championships were later unified

by Lesnar as he beat Carwin to become the UFC Undisputed Heavyweight Champion at UFC: 116. This victory saw Lesnar tie another UFC record: “Most Consecutive Title Defences” (2).

The undefeated Cain Velasquez would eventually de-throne Lesnar at UFC: 121.

After this fight, Lesnar battled with the deadly disease of ‘diverticulitis’, a digestive disease which involves the formation of pouches within the bowel wall. This kept the former Champion out of action for months, nearly claiming the fighter’s life at the peak of its severity.

short stint dominating the Japanese wrestling world, Brock Lesnar would decide to try his hand in the world of MMA. Just like his wrestling career, it took no time at all for the big boys of the sport to take notice.

He eased to victory in his first fight against Min Soo Kim under K-1 Hero’s promotion before Dana White, UFC President, quoted below, would soon call to sign-up “the baddest dude on the planet” to fight for them.

“Lesnar’s a different animal.

This guy is so big, so strong and so fast... at that weight, it’s just phenomenal. For what he lacks in technique and knowledge, he makes up for in size, speed and power. Lesnar could go on to be the best heavyweight and the longestreigning heavyweight. Who knows what could happen with him” ISSUE 3

Much like his NFL career, Lesnar’s introduction to UFC didn’t go as planned.

A 90 second submission defeat against Frank Mir didn’t reflect the initial skill and strength shown by Lesner in the opening stages, performing an early takedown on Mir. Having recovered, however, Mir’s experience allowed him to trap the rookie fighter in a kneebar for the win.

Soon after, “The Anomaly” would lick his wounds and get back to winning ways with a unanimous decision win over Heath Herring.

This was a coming-of-age performance, one where Lesnar truly dominated his opponent. Dana White clearly agreed with this as he booked Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Coture for UFC: 91 in a UFC Heavyweight Championship fight.

Lesnar would cruise to a second round victory via TKO (technical knockout) to equal Coture’s record for least number of professional fights (4) to win the title.

He avenged his defeat to Frank Mir during a successful first title defence, before being scheduled to take on number one

With his recovery, he faced the former Strikeforce Champion, Alistair Overeem.

However, with his opponent targeting his midsection, one which had had 12 inches of colon removed to survive his illness, Lesnar struggled and eventually succumbed to defeat. This would be the last time he fought inside the octagon.

Overall, Lesnar’s impact on both sports cannot be underestimated. The fact that Wrestling Observer Newsletter awarded him ‘Best Box-Office Draw’ (2008-2010) and ‘MMA Most Valuable Fighter’ (2008-2010) speaks volumes for his ability to attract mainstream attention. He also headlined four out of the six highest pay-per-view events in UFC history.

Now, he works back with the WWE. His return has already highlighted a growing power in contest, as he headlines multiple events which out-sell previous years’ payper-view sales. Looking as good as ever, who knows what more the Spike Guy’s ‘Most Dangerous Man (2009)’ Choice award winner can achieve?

Even at 36, going off his previous track record, it seems that the sky is the limit for this athlete! ALEX REILLY-COOPER THE

ORBITAL | 31