The OutCrowd Fall 2017 by The OutCrowd Magazine

Fall 2017 // Issue 19

10 Years of queer magic

Content 4

Ten Things I Want My Straight Best Friend to Know

Coloring Page

A Trip Through Time

Back Painting

Where We’ve Been, Where We’re Going

Art and Photo

Narrative

Gender Affirming Underwear

Qolor Collective Feature

The Man with the Fiancé

Ten Things Every Drag Queen Needs to Know

Narrative

Art and Photo

The Trope of Always Knowing

Let’s Get Physical

Social Politics

Sex and Health

Strings

The Ins and Outs of Queer Dating Apps

Narrative

Sex and Health

Feature

Sex and Health

Ten Queer Podcasts You Need to Hear Arts and Entertainment

Art and Photo

Feature

The Trans Ban

The Selkie and The Seaside Girl

Qwearing the Campus

Tyler, The Creator Comes Out

Ten Queer Characters That Haven’t Died Yet

Social Politics

Narrative

Art and Photo

Social Politics

Arts and Entertainment

I’m Not Your Fetish

Coming Out Story

Poetry

Feature

The OutCrowd Magazine studentorgs.syr.edu/outcrowd

DESIGN DIRECTOR Sam Whitney ART DIRECTOR Joleyne Herrera PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR Jo Johnson

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Grae Gleason MANAGING EDITOR Annie Stevens

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Dominic Martello

COPY EDITOR Caroline Bennett

Haidyn Buckler, MontiniquÃ« McEachern, Dante Guida, Bridget Gismondi, Charles Sawyer, Ian

FEATURE EDITOR Elly Wong

Dorbu, Michelle Tiburcio, Damion Barksdale

A&E EDITOR Quincy Nolan SEX & HEALTH Marta Lala

CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Lauren Perry,

SOCIAL POLITICS EDITOR Catherine Carusto

Sophia Hautala, Bridget Gismondi, Kaylie

NARRATIVE EDITOR Kate Fletcher

Larlee, Natalie Boucher, Theo Horne, Sam Lee

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR T

his semester marks the 10th anniversary of The OutCrowd. In the past ten years, LGBTQ rights efforts have often taken one step forward and then a million steps back. In 2016, a ban that barred transgender people from serving openly in the military was finally lifted– and now in 2017, the president is trying to ban transgender people from serving in the military altogether. In 2012, Barack Obama became the first U.S. president to publicly support marriage equality– and now in 2017, we have a president who has joked that his vice president would like to hang all queer people. We’re still fighting to stay alive and thrive despite all of this. New leaders are stepping up to carry on the legacies of icons such as Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson (pages 38-41), queer people of color work to build community and empower one another (pages 8-13), and transgender people are working to resist

transphobic policies (pages 42-43). Our community is resilient, and we deserve to be proud of it. Being queer isn’t a tragedy, and there are so many elements of our culture worth celebrating. Our drag queens are fierce (pages 16-18). Our art is revolutionary (pages 36-37). Our style is impeccable (pages 46-49). Queer life is beautiful and worth protecting. The decade ahead of us holds unlimited potential. Moving forward, The OutCrowd will continue to provide a platform for queer voices and work to make the magazine more inclusive and diverse. Transgender people and people of color deserve better representation, and we’re making it our goal to prioritize these voices. Queer people deserve better, and as we head into our next ten years, we’ll continue to fight for the rights we deserve. -Grae Gleason EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

10 Things

I Want My Straight Best Friend to Know by Dominic Martello

Don’t be an over active ally. We all know that Becky that tells everyone how much she loves gay people.

2. 3.

I’m not into every gay guy I meet (or that you introduce me to). I’m also allowed to have preferences outside of “is also gay.” I can have non-sexual gay friends.

Doing something masculine doesn’t make me any less gay. It’s possible to like both dark beer and getting plowed by my beautiful boyfriend.

Doing something ultra flamboyant doesn’t make me any less of a man. Owning a sissy walk doesn’t negate my identity.

5. 6.

Sometimes I’d just rather go to a queer friendly space. There’s something a bit tiring about going out and being an “other” all the time. Going to a place where the only form of socializing is women being approached by men for a fun time in the back alley can feel a bit lonely. A little variance in venue is always appreciated.

Yes, I know it seems I talk about being gay a lot...but not nearly as much as you talk about being straight. Every time you talk about which person you’re currently wet for, that’s a reference to your heterosexual preference. The moment I do it, it becomes “gay talk.” When you do it, it’s just considered “talking.”

7. 8.

Watching Drag Race doesn’t make you an expert on queer culture, nor do you have the power to dictate what is acceptable for drag queens/kings to do in performance #sashayaway

My boyfriend and I are both men. Neither one of us is the “woman” in the relationship. I feel like this is a cliché, yet here we are.

9. 10.

Flamboyance (or lack thereof) doesn’t have anything to do with sexual preference. I can be a heel-wearing top or a football playing bottom. Stop. Gendering. Preferences.

My sexuality is just as unimportant as yours. I wouldn’t ever seriously call you my “straight best friend.”

by Haidyn Buckler Getting ready in the morning is a pain. Gender dysphoria is a struggle. For many transgender people, choosing what to wear combines these problems to create an anxiety-riddled storm. To help you get through these issues and start your day off right, here are some effective, affordable gender affirming underwear choices for trans folks who need a little help with their dysphoria to get through the day.

Alex Tucking Panties

TRANSFORM Pocketed Bra by Nearly Me

by Valid

Cost: $25-$150

Cost: $39.50-46.50

Available Sizes: XS through 3XL

Available Sizes: 36A through 46DD

Available Colors: Black, Red, and Antique Rose

Available Colors: White, Black, and Beige (Pink, Red, Navy, Coffee, and Raspberry for an extra $10)

Alex Tucking Panties are a boyshort cut pair of tucking panties designed by transfeminine folks for transfeminine folks. The panties are made from comfortable, breathable material to discourage overheating, the seams are positioned so they won’t chafe, and they have been tested at varying levels of physical activity. “Very slight shifting” and a “minor bump” were present after the most active day with 14 hours of use. When buying your own pair, you can also choose to buy and donate a pair to a transfeminine person in need via Valid’s partner organization, Point of Pride. They are estimated to be available in January 2018.

The TRANSFORM pocketed bra is made of satin with lace detailing on the outer cups, while the inner pockets are cotton. The bra is designed to work well with both TRANSFORM brand’s and other brand’s breast forms. Each bra cup has a pocket in order to comfortably and firmly hold breast forms in place. Nearly Me, a brand initially targeting women who had gotten a mastectomy, created the TRANSFORM brand specifically for transfeminine people.

Pete Packer UnderWear Trunks by SpareParts

Agave/Marmalade Trunks by Pyramid Seven LLC

Cost: $30-$40

Cost: $26- $66

Available Sizes: S through 3X

Available Sizes: XS through XL

Available Colors: Black

Available Colors: Agave (Blue) and Marmalade (Orange)

These lightweight polyester trunks are specially designed to be used with soft packers and Stand To Pee packers. SpareParts created these comfortable, full-coverage boxer briefs to ensure the security of your packer. The Trunks style allows for you to expose or hide your packer based on your preference, and are also available in commando, freestyle, and briefs styles. SpareParts’ underwear gives the packer a realistic-looking bulge while maintaining a snug and secure fit.

Pyramid Seven is a company based in Chicago that creates “underwear for periods, not gender.” Pyramid Seven’s organic cotton boxer briefs allow for the comfortable use of menstrual products. The extra fabric on the gusset allows for the use of a pad by placing it on top of the fabric and folding the wings underneath. A liner can also be placed on top of the fabric. Unfortunately, this brand is currently out of stock, but will be restocked soon.

Although scarce, there are a few gender-affirming underwear options to fit anyone’s needs. Whether you’re transfeminine and looking for underwear to help you get a good tuck, or transmasculine and looking for underwear to help you pack, these products have you covered.

For QPOC Who Have Considered Transferring when the Rainbow isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Enough

n Fall 2016, Qolor Collective was just a “what if” in conversations between me and Alina Freeman–QC’s current president. Every other Thursday night after Fusion–the discussion group for LGBT folks of color–she and I would find ourselves in the middle of marathon hangout sessions with other Fusion folks, prolonging the opportunity Fusion provided us to be in community with other queers of color. We knew that not wanting to leave Fusion spoke to something that we all felt was missing at Syracuse University: a space where none of us would have to choose between our racial experiences, sexual orientations, and genders. Too often LGBT spaces are not intersectional spaces, meaning that queer spaces tend to center queer identities and ignore the ways in which our experiences with queerness are also informed by our race, ability, citizenship statuses, and a host of other social identities. Although glaringly obvious at SU, this isn’t unique to our campus. According to a 2015 investigation by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), more than half of the queer people of color (QPOC) surveyed reported experiencing racialized harassment in queer spaces. Similarly, spaces for folks of color tend to take race-first approaches to our identity, also missing the mark on intersections of other identities with race.

After the election results last November, the lack of safety the University provided us as QPOC became even more obvious. When a university lacks institutional support for students of color and queer students, students with a combination of these identities are dually impacted and made keenly aware that their university will not meet their needs. Although the onus should not have been on us as marginalized students to create a space within the University that would support us, we set out to do just that. Alina and I, along with our other executive board members Luria Lee, Myles Morgan, and Ahmad Saeed, began the process of forming a campus organization for QPOC. Becoming a registered student organization, or RSO, was no easy feat for a collective of QPOC. The registration process–much like society at large–is set up in a way that favors the success of certain groups. From having to submit a list of names of our membership to the one semester delay on funding, all the institutional hurdles that moved us to create Qolor Collective were again in our path. I remember when we had to discuss who would be on our executive board, and how many of us were hesitant to be out at SU. “Collective” became not only our name, but our way of surviving the RSO registration process.

I remember feeling tearful as Alina answered, “Whether you approve us or not, I have to navigate this school as a queer person of color. Not having Qolor Collective scares me more than starting it now.” During our interview to become an RSO, the panel asked us if we were afraid to start this organization. I remember feeling tearful as Alina answered, “Whether you approve us or not, I have to navigate this school as a queer person of color. Not having Qolor Collective scares me more than starting it now.” The vision for Qolor Collective is to support the recruitment and retention of students of color with marginalized genders and sexualities at SU and ESF. Moved by our own experiences of lacking community, we hope to provide a support network for QPOC on campus and to advocate for an inclusive environment for students of color with marginalized genders and sexualities. We want to create an opportunity for QPOC at the University to find comfort, empowerment, and support. We aim

to create an organization not about the pain of our oppression as QPOC, but about the beauty of the intersections of queerness and race. Qolor Collective member Prince William writes, “QC is a community within the institution of Syracuse University that’s welcoming, embraces individuality, and allows for freedom of expression of our narratives that are often disregarded. I joined because QC not only recognizes QPOC but also celebrates their presence on campus.” Qolor Collective has been a learning experience for us as QPOC, unearthing our histories and learning about QPOC contributions to LGBT and Civil Rights movements. From screening

documentaries to general meetings-turned kickbacks, Qolor Collective has instilled pride in our identities. QC member Andre Solomon writes, “QC [helps me] find my own identity. As a POC who is biracial, I had been raised in a primarily white household. I am trying to get in touch with my Blackness and vibes of Queer POC. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% myself until I tap into all sides of my being.” It is our hope as a collective that having QC will provide future QPOC on campus with a place to plug into these vibes as well. Through becoming an RSO, we are adding just a little more color to the orange of SU.

Qolor Collective aims to create an active queer student of color community on campus. This is an opportunity for students of color at Syracuse University and SUNY-ESF with marginalized genders and sexualities to find comfort, empowerment, and support academically, politically, and socially.

email instagram facebook

qtsocc@sumail.syr.edu @qolorcollective Qolor Collective at SU-ESF

The Man with the Fiancé

by Dante Guida

first met M in the Destiny USA parking lot at 11 p.m. Warning Sign #1. I hopped in his nice and shiny 2017 Chevy Malibu, and we drove to Roji Tea House in downtown Syracuse. After some tea and rice balls we sat in front of the fountains at Clinton Square. I was in lust. We decided to meet for brunch. At Panera the next morning I tried to make some small talk. I asked M about the two gold rings on his hand. Warning Sign #2. With such ease he claimed he got them as gifts for confirmation and college graduation. He had told me that his mother paid a quarter million in taxes a year, so, being my ignorant self, I believed him. Who am I to question rich culture?

The two of us proceeded to be all couple-y. I would visit him at work, and he’d take me on midnight adventures. Then, the relationship started a steady decline. M began to get super jealous and protective when I hung out with people I have had past experiences with. Warning Sign #3. One month into seeing each other, we got into an argument regarding my sexual history. He accused me of cheating on him even though he always brought up past experiences with his friends and coworkers. Thinking back to what I learned in high school psychology, I asked, “Are you projecting your actions onto me?”

M replied, “I don’t think so.” Warning Sign #4. He left for Spain and Cuba the following night. I should’ve stopped him there, but my friends convinced me to give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t understand the question. About a week into his vacation I received a text from my friend saying she had important information to share. I knew it was about him. What else could be wrong with this boy? She sent me screenshots of a conversation with her coworkers. One of them said that he had a fiancé. I finally found out what the warning signs were hinting towards: M was getting married to another man. I looked into the situation, found his fiancé on Facebook and Instagram, and confirmed this wild statement. His fiancé W messaged me on Instagram so I had to explain the situation. W spent two years of his life dedicated to M, and all for nothing. I confronted M. I told him how disgusting he was, and he replied, “Oh come on. This was never real to you.” I laughed. He must be insane, I thought. He did not cease to surprise me and continued, “Just don’t spread shit about my life if you don’t wanna deal with my mother’s lawyers.” Back to using his money to his advantage. He claimed it was to protect himself, so I suggested that maybe if he didn’t do such horrible things there would be nothing to protect himself from.

M went on and on. Then, he attempted to push the blame onto me and told me I strung him along even though I didn’t like him. I thought, “I’m sorry I gave you that many chances, too.” Regret did not even seem like a concept to him. All he said was that he “followed his feelings” and claimed there was nothing wrong with that. I gave up at that point. There was no remorse. I could tell he was so used to using his money to dictate his environment. I wanted him to remember one thing out of this entire fiasco, so I texted him, “Money can’t buy you happiness.”

10 16

1 2 3

Things Every Drag Queen Needs to Know

DRAG IS FOR EVERYONE. First things first, it’s crucial to understand that drag is not just for gay men. Anyone, male, female, nonbinary, cisgender, transgender, etc., who wants to partake in the magical world of drag is valid in their art. Drag is evolving and has become a wonderful blend of all different types of people, which adds to the beauty and diversity of the community.

THERE IS NO PLACE IN DRAG FOR MISOGYNY OR TRANSPHOBIA. Unfortunately, the drag scene is notorious for being filled with transphobic lingo and misogynistic attitudes. As the community has evolved, however, there has been a significant effort to eliminate these issues. If you’re thinking about becoming a drag queen, keep that in mind so we can keep the community safe for everyone.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO BRUSH UP ON YOUR HERSTORY. Drag has not always been legal, and there are many fierce ladies who have paved the way for the thriving drag community that we have come to know. It is important to keep these queens’ stories alive, to remember and honor drag’s roots in Black and Latino queer culture, and to not take for granted the acceptance that we now have for our art. For starters, research and educate yourself on the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot, Marsha P. Johnson, ball culture and the house system, and of course mother herself, RuPaul.

@bellafantasiabitch

@ jettblackk_

DRAG HAS NO RULES. Despite what some people say, drag has moved way past the idea of simple female illusion. Drag is whatever you make it. Drag is a place where femininity and masculinity can collide. All forms of drag are beautiful and valid so find what makes you happy and run with it.

HUMILIT Y IS ESSENTIAL. When you think of drag queens, I’m sure humility isn’t the first word to pop into your head, but it is very valuable nevertheless. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance, and you want to make sure you don’t cross that line. Be self-aware and don’t think you’re better than everyone. It’s not cute. Every queen you encounter has something they can teach you, and it’s important to be open to learning.

YOU DON’T NEED TO SPEND A FORTUNE TO DO DRAG. With RuPaul’s Drag Race at the center of mainstream drag, it can seem like you need to spend a lot of money to become a queen. This isn’t necessarily the case. There are plenty of makeup brands on the cheaper side that will get the job done. Also, thrift stores will become your best friend and best bet to find sickening ensembles without breaking the bank.

@ desireedik69

7 8

9 10

FIND YOUR TRIBE. Being self-assured is vital, but it’s always nice to have some people in your corner cheering you on. A strong support system can really make or break a performer. On your worst nights, it’s always important to have someone to turn to who supports your art.

SELF-CONFIDENCE IS KEY. Drag can be a medium for finding oneself and building self-confidence. However, when you start drag you need to have a relatively thick skin and a strong sense of self-assurance. People can be mean both in and out of the community. Be proud of your drag creation and don’t let anyone take that away from you. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you make yourself happy.

@ death_dropping_diva

DON’T GET DISCOURAGED. Drag takes time. It’s all about trial and error. As you go, you will start to perfect your aesthetic and be able to do more and more. It doesn’t happen overnight though. Don’t let little missteps discourage you from continuing.

DON’T FORGET TO HAVE FUN! Drag is all about self-expression and having fun. You can’t take yourself too seriously. Drag shouldn’t be stressful. Loosen up, throw on a wig and some lashes, and enjoy yourself!

The Trope of Always Knowing by Bridget Gismondi

ut of all of the people in my high school friend group, I was the last one to come out of the closet. While I took comfort in the company of my queer friends, finishing last in the identity game created a fear within me. If all of the queer people I knew had already figured out their sexualities and/or gender identities, then why hadn’t I figured it out sooner? I worried that I was faking my sexual orientation. My anxieties told me that one day I would wake up and realize I was straight all along. I know these worries might sound ridiculous, but from my discussions with other queer people, I’ve learned that some of these sentiments are fairly common. So, why do we doubt the identities we worked so hard to discover? Society doesn’t want us to stray from its patriarchal, heteronormative, cisnormative standards, so it trains us all from a young age to think that there are no other options. Growing up seeing heterosexual romance as normal and inevitable, I couldn’t see that I didn’t want it. As a little girl, I imagined getting a boyfriend and marrying a man because I thought that’s what every girl’s life was supposed to lead up to. I didn’t know that being a lesbian was an option. Queer people are an “other” in our

" So, why do we doubt the Identities we worked so hard to discover? " society and no one wants to be any more of an “other” than they have to be. I appreciated my mom’s explanation of, “They’re not bad, they’re just different,” when I asked her what gay meant, but it goes to show that even straight acceptance relies on othering. Mainstream media reinforces this heteronormativity, cisnormativity, and othering. Though queer representation in media is improving, the small quantity and obscurity of such media hurts questioning people. Additionally, the under-representation of LGBTQ people and the control of our stories by straight, cisgender

people limits the potential paths and journeys we envision for ourselves. I could count the number of different narratives mainstream media creates about discovering your sexual orientation on one hand: the queer character who has always known they were different, the queer character who thought they were straight until they met a special someone of the same gender, you know the drill. These narratives describe some people’s experiences perfectly, and I don’t want to deny their importance. However, many people whose lives don’t fit into these tropes may feel like they aren’t truly queer. This under-representation also leaves us lacking the tools to figure out our identities. When being queer isn’t shown as a possibility, we can be left having queer experiences and not recognizing them. I and

other women-loving-women can point to same-sex crushes we had but mistook for wanting to be super best friends. Kids in general aren’t taught how to recognize their same-sex attraction or even their lack of attraction. The erasure of queer people both in media and in real life hinders our ability to discover our sexual orientations. If you think you’ve missed the deadline for claiming a queer identity or that you might be lying about your queerness or gender: you’re not alone. People discover their identities at all ages! Attraction and gender are complicated and take time to sort through. While the narrative of knowing since childhood or figuring it out during adolescence is a common one, it’s not the only possible route that your journey of discovery can take.

Let's Get Physical Queer people search for workout spaces in a cisnormative world

by Charles Sawyer

ueer people’s relationships with their bodies can be contentious. Body and gender dysmorphia run rampant in the LGBTQ community, leaving many of us uncomfortable in our own skin. Even if you are fortunate enough to have your thoughts and emotions under some semblance of control, arbitrary physical standards can cause us to fall victim to self-doubt. So what’s a queer person to do? According to Brittany “BCash” Cashatt, Associate Director of Syracuse University’s LGBT Resource Center, when creating a space for queer and gender non-conforming individuals to take care of their bodies through exercise, it isn’t enough to make it queer-inclusive—it must be queercentric. To this end, Cashatt and the LGBT RC held a free yoga class as part of National Coming Out Month. “A lot of the culture around workout spaces is really gendered in the binary,” Cashatt said. “You go to a yoga class and it’s mostly stereotypically white women with these $100 outfits, or you go to the gym and it’s workout stuff with cis[gender] men.” Including cisnormative bathrooms and locker rooms, these spaces can be unwelcoming for queer people. A search of keywords “gym,” or “fitness center,” on gaypages.com, a website dedicated to finding queerfriendly spaces in several cities across the country, yields almost no results. Boston, the supposed heart of liberal America, located in the first state to legalize same-sex

marriage? Nothing. Baltimore, the city I call my home? Nothing. Even Washington D.C., the gay Mecca? Nothing. The only result this search returned was called The Perfect Sidekick (@thequeergym on Instagram) in Oakland, California, featured in a BuzzFeed article dated April 24, 2016. Founded by current CEO Nathalie Huerta, the gym started after Huerta became inundated with clients who saw her personal training advertisements in Craigslist’s “women seeking women,” section. With a focus on individual progress, Huerta maintains a safe environment for everyone, one where mistakes are viewed as opportunities to make progress rather than a point of shame. She even decided to do away with mirrors entirely to minimize body dysmorphia, and to refocus attention on gains and improvement. Cashatt elaborates on the benefits of such spaces. “It’s hard enough to be part of the LGBTQ community in general,” Cashatt says. “Being able to offer an opportunity for movement-based exercise that isn’t centered in my sexual orientation or gender identity is different…Bodies show up in all different kinds of ways,” they say, but sometimes, showing up is the hardest part. While queer audiences can still be seen as a niche by mainstream corporations, with The Perfect Sidekick’s success, and the LGBT RC’s free yoga class, there is growing hope that more of these spaces can open up and offer safe places for queer people to work out.

rt i ng s

by Ian Dorbu illustration by Grae Gleason

atching Marc and Jason roll around each other in blind and dumb fun, isn’t as

Scouts’ uniforms, and playground sandboxes, and wooden blocks. It was the tan that saw them through

voyeuristic as it sounds. Trust me, it’s my job. I’ve been with them since the beginning, watching my handiwork unfold as they do. It’s been ages since I tied their storylines together, but do I regret it? No, not quite. I think it was necessary. I will say that I regret using red string to complete their tapestry; Jason absolutely cannot stand the color red. What could I have done, though? Fate only has so many colored strings in its arsenal. I remember when I did the first stitch of their relationship, it was reservedly tan, the tan of Boy

the winter of Marc’s cat dying, and through to spring where they found a kitten mewling in the dewy, emerald grass. I never really liked that shade, the rough hewn, almost angry way it spat tiny barbs into my fingers as I dug the needle into their lives to pull them together. It was disgustingly and cheaply masculine. I remember choosing the strand, choosing over the softer one for the hardest and most brutal. Might as well get used to this now, kids, you’ve got a monster ahead of you, I remember thinking while hating the pain I myself felt. The tan saw them see each other and become friends, but it never saw what came after it.

Next came the blue, strong, and cold, and vicious as iron. The blue saw them through the end of middle school where they met the resistance of the world, as friends, whose hands and lips burned the same color, but were never quenched. The blue was a strange one to wrangle. It wasn’t that it knew what it was, or what it was supposed to do, but it also didn’t not know. I feel like it just chose to be confusing for no reason. The blue flickered in the light, drawing attention to lovely summer days before the beginning of high school, where skin grew brown and tan in the sun and concealing the depression that stalked into Marc’s head as if it owned the place. I suppose it did for a time. Perhaps it still does. Black was sleek, almost disgustingly easy to slip through their cloth. Black came and wrapped Jason up in its nighttime cloak, attempting to hide the horrors of a college that wasn’t his, but now is his before he chose it; and a fraternity that isn’t his, but now screams to him like he’s one of its son; and the sweet venom hidden behind poison that he drank hoping to feel nothing, and became numb, before regaining sensation, and wishing he could never feel anything at all. It was quite an interesting day, when black finally faded into ash, then violet, and then

to indigo. I remember watching Jason walk home with absinthe, vodka, and cheap champagne, and he and Marc spinning cocktails out of the different poisons until they were drunk enough for the world to turn and for their anger and love to boil out. It looked almost out of place, especially post-Jason’s father telling him that red was a man’s color, and that he wasn’t a man if he didn’t like it, and how softly, behind closed doors, Jason loved blue. The red hid when it could, rearing its head behind the mask of the tawny, the blue, the black, until finally, it came out of the shadows and wrapped itself around the gold as an equal. It was just before the wedding, not yet at the time of them running off to fit into suits, or shoes, but when they were just wearing their rings, dumb and in love. I watched the gold and red dance together until finally the red won out and lasted for the rest of their lives. It’s cliché, I know, that their story ends on a happilly ever after, but think about it for just a second. If it were up to you, and you had had the world and all its venom tossed at you like you were nothing short of the world’s dartboard, wouldn’t you too hope that fate had decided to be kind in the end?

Know what the app you’re using is geared towards.

The purposes of queer dating apps vary from dating to hooking up. Make sure the app you are using has options to display what you are looking for. For example, Grindr is notorious for hookups, while Tinder and Her are platforms where you can find more people who are looking for relationships.

Don’t share too much personal information or link to social media accounts.

This goes for any social media. You never know what’s going on in a stranger’s mind. Identity theft and stalking are potential dangers when you share too much of your personal information on social media.

Be careful when sending pictures of yourself (and decide whether or not you want your face in them).

Anonymity can be fun! If you do not want your face tied to a certain picture, then do not show your face in the picture. If you feel like you can trust someone to keep your pictures between you two, then go ahead and include whatever you want. Also, remember the cardinal rule of sending nude photos: if you don’t want the photo traced back to you, don’t have your face in the picture!

Don’t feel obligated to send anyone pictures of yourself.

Only send pictures if you feel comfortable with sending them. If someone sends you pictures of themselves, don’t feel the need to follow suit. Even if they get angry, it is your body, and you are the only one who has the right to decide who gets to see it.

The Ins & Outs of Queer Dating Apps by Dante Guida photography by Sophia Hautala Queer dating apps can be places to explore your sexuality and connect with other queer folks. However, some of these apps require users to tread carefully, since the environment is not always the kindest nor safest. To stay safe in your queer dating escapades, here are 10 things you should know before you begin.

Choose a public venue when meeting up for the first time.

Public spaces are great spots for first meet ups. The person you meet up with may be someone completely different from who they presented themselves as online. If you meet them at their house or invite them into your home, you may lose control and find yourself in an unsafe situation. You might have less opportunities to leave safely if the date goes badly.

Feel free to block/report people.

Take threats very seriously. If someone is making you feel unpleasant, uncomfortable, or unsafe, use the report or block button. The quicker you cut them off, the better it is for you.

Have an open dialogue with whomever you want to meet up with.

Discuss what both of you are looking for in this encounter and what your boundaries are. If you have both defined the encounter as a hookup, then define how far you would like to go and whether it is okay with your partner(s).

Use condoms and dental dams,get tested frequently, and make sure your partner(s) are doing the same. Lube can also help in reducing friction which will not only ease discomfort but also decrease the chances of tears (of both the skin and condoms). Clean any toys before swapping them and put a condom on them to prevent any leftover fluids from entering your body or someone else’s body. When you decide to get tested, keep in mind that Syracuse University’s Health Services offers STI screenings and one free HIV testing per academic year.

Be safe.

Give and receive compliments.

If you see someone who strikes your eye, don’t be afraid to tell them! You may never know if they think the same about you. Spread the love, because it’ll come back around.

Have fun exploring!

Don’t limit yourself, and explore any kinks you might be curious about– but make sure you do some research on the topics first. Be openminded, but remember to not push yourself outside your comfort zone.

Pride & Poddin' Top 10 Queer Podcasts You Need to Hear by Montiniquë McEachern

#SafeWordSociety

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud

#SafeWordSociety is a weekly podcast out of New York City that discusses living, loving & thriving as a #QTPOC. The hosts, Kristen and Lamika, are vegans and creators who use interviews & discussions with everyday people to navigate the complexity of identity. Their mission is to start conversations on self-definition while uplifting the stories of those that aren’t often heard.

Tea with Queen and J

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitchr

Queen and J are two Womanist race nerds talking shit over tea and their conversations equal dismantling patriarchy excellence! Queen is a queer Muslim Bronx native with her own magazine (Mx.Vixen). J hails from the Bronx as well and loves all things #Blerd and Black Joy. This weekly podcast is a must play for any queer with a hetero homie who is just as invested in liberation as they are.

Inner Hoe Uprising

3 4

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud, GooglePlay, Spotify, Stitchr Inner Hoe Uprising is a funny, smart, and sexy weekly podcast about sex, love, and dating from the perspective of 4 feminist twenty somethings from New York. Sam, the weekly host, is a polyamorous podcaster who is joined by a hoe-tation of co-hosts: Rob, an agender pansexual with a phatty; Akua, a hetero monogamous hoe; and Rebecca, a sex-positive sapiosexual.

Hoodrat to Headwrap Available on: SoundCloud H2H is a weekly decolonized podcast for lovers on the margins. Community organizer Ebony Donnley and his partner sexuality educator Ericka Hart talk dismantling white supremacy, being misgendered, and books every queer must read. This podcast is a little heavy on the social justice jargon, but the warmth of the couple’s queer and trans love will keep you tuned in.

TransWaves

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud

TransWaves is a monthly interview style podcast created by the Trans Youth Equality Foundation. Trans and gender non-conforming youth host the podcast and interview other trans youth, allies, activists, families, lawyers, doctors, and more.

29 By the Bi

Available on: Libsyn By the Bi is the weekly podcast for anyone interested in learning more about bisexuality, pansexuality, and everything else your monosexual friends refuse to talk about. Mr. and Mrs. Atom are a bisexual couple living in Sydney Australia who not only host this podcast, but also write bisexual erotica together!

How to Be a Girl

Available on: iTunes How to Be a Girl is an almost weekly (life happens with a 6-year-old as a co-host!) podcast about one mother’s experience raising her 6-year-old transgender daughter. The two of them break down gender in adorable ways and attempt to sort out just what it means to be a girl. Their intimate conversations raise questions about gender for allies, folks who are new to queerness, and those of us who think we know all there is to know about gender.

Strange Fruit

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud, 89.3 WFPL Strange Fruit is a weekly podcast on politics, pop culture and black gay life in the South. But this is no pity fest. They live life, and make sure listeners know that no matter how hard things get, they live it well! Doc (Dr. Kaila Story), a professor at a southern university, and Jaison, a community organizer and radio host, have candid discussions on intersectionality, dating in the South, and community activism.

Do Not Disturb with Jade

Available on: iTunes, SoundCloud, Revry If Jade’s voice sounds familiar, its because you’ve probably seen one of her videos. Jade, or FoxyHotMess, has one of the most popular lesbian channels on YouTube and for good reason. Her hilarious storytelling and aspirations of being an “unfriendly Black hottie” will have you binging this weekly podcast. Jade also takes voicemails from listeners, making this podcast uniquely interactive.

QueerWOC: The Podcast

Available on: Google Play, iTunes, SoundCloud #QueerWOC is a biweekly podcast hosted by Money, and Nikeeta- two Black Queer Troublemakers who have dating woes that will make you laugh out loud. Nikeeta is a community building curmudgeon and Money is a ratchet academic. Each episode the two best friends cultivate a healing space for queer women and femmes of color through celebrating a QueerWOC of the week, giving mental health advice from a queer therapist, and dragging “the straights” for filth when they need it.

A Trip Through Time A retrospective on ten years of OutCrowd covers by Grae Gleason

1. Fall 2009 During World War II, Nazis forced gay prisoners to wear a pink triangle to identify themselves. Now reclaimed by many queer people as a symbol of pride, the pink triangle represents LGBTQ peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s resilience in the face of this violence. The OutCrowdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fall 2009 front cover pays homage to this symbol and serves as a reminder of queer history.

2. Spring 2013 The Spring 2013 issue of The OutCrowd opens on a glorious combination of lingerie, leather pants, and a suit jacket. Drawing on inspiration from famous gay photographers such as Robert Mapplethorpe, this cover plays with ideas of sexual identity as expressed through clothing, accessories, body hair, and tattoos.

3. Fall 2012 Bright rainbow hair introduced readers of our Fall 2012 issue to unique new ways to show their pride. Photographed by Annie Flanagan, “a photographer, filmmaker and educator based in New Orleans, Louisiana,” this cover’s color and craftsmanship makes it one of The OutCrowd’s favorites.

4. Fall 2008 This delicate line drawing captures an intimate moment between a queer couple. Hidden on the back cover of The OutCrowd’s Fall 2008 issue, this artwork depicts the elegance and beauty of queer love.

5. Fall 2010 Created by contributing artist Kelly Fitzsimmons, the front cover of The OutCrowd’s Fall 2010 issue features a pregnant transgender man being held by his partner. This cover challenges cisnormative assumptions about parenthood and sends the message that transgender people are worthy of love, family, and happiness.

6. Fall 2011 Pairing a bear flag necklace with geometric body paint, the cover model for The OutCrowd’s Fall 2011 issue depicts the bear archetype for queer men. This cover not only stimulates conversation about the terminology used in queer communities, but also allows readers to reflect on the various symbols queer people use to signify their identity.

7. Fall 2013 These two literal lovebirds on the cover of The OutCrowd’s Fall 2013 show off the magazine’s more creative side. This artwork also began the magazine’s trend toward more bright, full color illustrations from 2013 to 2017.

8. Spring 2009 Baring your body in nature symbolizes an ultimate vulnerability. This vulnerability paired with the playfulness of the cover model’s pose helps capture the feeling of strength in the face of stuggle that many queer people experience in straight, cisgender dominated spaces.

9. Spring 2014 Hairy legs and high heels represent The OutCrowd’s twist on high fashion magazine covers. In this issue, the magazine pursued queer interpretations of everything from fashion to American propaganda to the concept of motherhood.

10. Spring 2008 After The OutCrowd was founded in Fall 2007, this image graced the front cover of our very first issue. With style that one OutCrowd editor describes as “Degrassi realness,” these cover models helped bring SU’s first and only LGBTQ magazine to life. After ten years, The OutCrowd continues to thrive thanks to the work and love from SU’s queer community.

Quincy Nolan painted by Natalie Boucher

Lauren Mac Lenithan painted by Natalie Boucher

Eleazar Munguia painted by Natalie Boucher

Natalie Boucher painted by Lauren Mac Lenithan

WHERE WE’VE BEEN, WHERE WE’RE GOING

by Annie Stevens

illustration by Sam Lee

he foundational members of the American LGBTQ civil rights movement were those whose identities continue to be the least visible and most marginalized, even within the queer community. The Stonewall Riots are widely regarded to be the catalyst for the development of a cohesive movement focused on the liberation of the LGBTQ community, and the pivotal players in the riots were drag queens, butch lesbians, trans women, and gay prostitutes of color. These very same people, the founders of our movement,, are most often those who are forgotten and least prioritized now that the LGBTQ rights movement has entered the mainstream. When talking about the Stonewall Riots, it would be impossible not to mention Marsha P. Johnson, who is often credited with throwing the first brick. Although this isn’t confirmed and likely never will be, saying that Johnson was important to the history of the movement is an understatement. Johnson was a drag queen and a sex worker who, along with Sylvia Rivera, founded Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, or S.T.A.R. As a subset of the Gay Liberation Front, which Rivera and Johnson also founded, S.T.A.R. provided help and resources for

young homeless drag queens and trans kids of color. The Gay Liberation Front fought against concepts such as the nuclear family being an ideal to strive for, the classification of homosexuality as a mental illness, the forced hospitalization of LGBT people, and state-condoned homophobic violence. Various other groups born out of the Gay Liberation Front, including lesbian feminist organization the Lavender Menace, expressed solidarity with other oppressed groups struggling for freedom. The LGBT movement has undergone vast changes in the past half-century. More people in America are identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and/or transgender than ever before. Same-sex marriage is legal! We can find representation (however imperfect) in TV, movies, books, video games, and other forms of media, though the number of transgender and non-binary characters is still severely lacking. However, there is still work to be done. A movement whose endgame is same-sex marriage and the assimilation of wealthy, white, cisgender queer people into the mainstream heteronormative culture does not do justice to the diversity of our community; in fact, this is the exact opposite of where the Gay Liberation Front hoped to see the movement go. The

goal of the LGBTQ rights movement is not to make the straight establishment feel safe or to show them that gay people are property owners with regular jobs and nuclear families “just like them.” This is a country where the basic rights of transgender people are challenged daily, where trans women of color are murdered on a horrifyingly regular basis, and where LGBTQ youth still live on the streets. These are the people for whom the movement is most important and who need the most resources and support. The next generation of the movement is coming of age now, and many of them are already passionate activists. Consider 16-year-old Aaron Wesdorp, who successfully petitioned for gender-neutral bathrooms to be installed in his high school — or actor and singer Amandla Stenberg, who identifies as non-binary and pansexual and uses their public

platform as a place to educate others about their identity, Black issues, and intersectionality. These young activists and countless others like them are the people who work to tear down the gender binary and to destroy the idealized model of the nuclear family. It is critical that future leaders of the movement acknowledge a broader goal than the assimilation of the most privileged members of our community and ensure that the voices of those who are oppressed on more than one axis are heard. Perhaps Audre Lorde said it best, during the 1979 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, “I am proud to raise my voice here in this day as a black lesbian feminist committed to struggle for a world where all our children can grow free from the diseases of racism, of sexism, of classism, and of homophobia. For those oppressions are inseparable.”

The goal of the LGBTQ rights movement is not to make the straight establishment feel safe.

The Trans Ban by Michelle Tiburcio

n July 26, 2017, Donald Trump announced his decision to ban transgender people from serving in the U.S. military. In a thread of three tweets, Trump explained that, “After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you.” Trump argues that having trans people in the military is too costly, and creates a burden that the country cannot undertake. This news contradicts Trump’s previous statements about the LGBTQ community. During the primaries, he stated that he would take care of the LGBTQ community. Clearly, this was false.

The dangers of calling a group of people a burden are innumerable. This can have and has had an adverse effect on transgender people’s mental health and overall selfworth. If a trans soldier, who has devoted their life to serving their country in the military, is told they cannot serve anymore because the cost of their healthcare is too expensive, they are essentially being told that their life and service is not valued as much as that of their fellow cisgender soldiers. Despite Trump’s insistence that allowing trans people to serve is too costly, studies have proven otherwise. According to a 2016 Research and Development (RAND) corporation study, there will be an increase of approximately $6 billion in the healthcare budget out of a total $49.3 billion annually. In addition, the small percentage of the budget that would be allocated to gender-related health care is consistent with the amount

of active transgender service members, which is relatively low. Currently, there are an estimated 1.3 million active service members, and only around 6,630 are trans. Furthermore, it has been noted that not all transgender military personnel will actually seek gender transitionrelated treatment. For students participating in the ROTC program, this announcement may have caused them to secondguess their future plans and careers. Amanda*, a recent SU graduate, who was a member of ROTC and is now actively serving, discussed the recent ban. She explained that, as a member of the LGBTQ community, she was disappointed when she heard about the ban, especially since the Pentagon was not consulted on the issue. As of late August, the White House has stated that the Secretary of Defense has six months to implement the policy. According to protocol, no official changes can be made until formal guidance is issued. She was relieved to read the responses from the Joint Chiefs of Staff advocating for respect of all service members. In July, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of staffs, General Joseph

Dunford, commented that, “we will continue to treat all of our personnel with respect,” and that no alterations to the Obama era policy have been made yet. When asked about the effect this decision would have on the LGBTQ community, Amanda said, “I have a friend who wanted to join the Marine Corps, but [Trump’s] statement has put a halt on his enlistment process. It is disheartening because he would make an excellent Marine. Ultimately, at the end of the day, I have to follow what the Chain of Command dictates. But I will always remain supportive of my fellow queer siblings, both in and out of uniform.” With his statements, Trump has not only caused controversy and uneasiness, he has also made transgender people feel unwanted in government spaces. Though the proposed ban was blocked by a U.S. district judge in Washington D.C. on October 30th, this attempt to ban transgender people from service is indicative of transphobia at a federal level. Regardless of one’s opinions on the military, this policy dehumanizes and demeans the transgender community. *Names have been changed to protect the privacy of our sources

by Bridget Gismondi

My feet sink a little into the sand with each step I take. To my left, the sun peeks ever so slowly over the horizon, turning the sky from bashful pink to passionate red. There’s something magical about seeing the ocean shimmer red and orange, turning the waves into flames. We met on the beach during the sunrise. “I tried to catch your attention,” she always says, “but you were too busy marveling at it!” Right now, I’m looking for any sign of her. I haven’t seen her in over two months. Leading up to her departure, something seemed off. She would stare out the window, toward the water, melancholy and pale. She lost her energy, didn’t return my affection, seemed so detached. I knew she couldn’t stay on land all the time. She’s a creature

of the sea; she needs the water to live. When she told me she had to leave, I felt relieved. She wasn’t tired of me, she was just tired of land. I thought I could handle the time apart. But now that she’s gone, I notice how empty our house feels without her. The kitchen’s become a cavern, the living room a canyon, the bedroom an abyss. Guess an empty house is better than an empty Meredith. As I continue my morning trek, I think about our first meeting. I saw her on the rocks under the pier. She was radiant, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I knew exactly what she was as soon as I saw the seal skin wrapped around her like a makeshift dress. “I see you walk on the beach every day, and I wanted to get to know you,” she said. “Is

45 that weird? I promise I’m not stalking you.” “You don’t sound weird to me,” I responded. She was clearly embarrassed. I thought it was endearing. “What’s your name?” All I could hear was seal noises. She said I could call her Meredith instead. When we moved in together, I started seeing more motion in the water. Messages stuffed into bottles appeared along the shore where I walked. They were usually threats about what would happen if I hid her pelt — I don’t think seals are capable of a large-scale land invasion. When I showed her the messages, she apologized about her family members saying, “They’re well-meaning but still totally out of line!” She argued with the seals near the shore in a language I couldn’t understand. I joked about how she was defending my honor, and she struck a heroic pose while I mock swooned in her arms. The messages stopped, until about a week and a half after she left. I was walking, hoping routine would distract me from my loneliness, when I saw

a sea-green glass bottle washed along the shore. I picked it up, thinking it was litter, but I noticed a piece of parchment shoved inside. I pried it out as soon as I got home. She wrote to me! She told me she had safely returned to her family, that she was enjoying herself but she missed me, that she loved me. She sent more. The time between them is irregular, but I don’t care. I’m grateful for every scrap I get, just to know that she’s happy. This morning the beach has been clear the entire time I’ve walked it. I sigh and start to turn back toward home, when I see the waves pushing a bottle ashore. I lunge at it, practically tripping over myself. I struggle with the cork, but manage to pry it off and slip out the parchment within. “Olivia,” she wrote, “As soon as I send this letter, I will begin swimming back home. The trip should only take me three days. I can’t wait to see you again! I love you. Meredith” She’s coming home. I can feel my smile splitting my face. She’s coming home! In bliss, I pick myself up and walk back to our home.

Queer students of color show off their personal style photography by Jo Johnson

Ahmad Saeed

Esmeralda Murray

MontiniquĂŤ McEachern

Tyler, The Creator

COMING OUT One writer

One writer explores the risks of coming out in hypermasculine environments

by Damion Barsdale This past July, Tyler, The Creator released his album Flower Boy, containing a song called “I Ain’t Got Time.” In this song, he raps the verse,“Next line will have ‘em like ‘whoa’, I’ve been kissing white boys since 2004.” Although this seems to be controversial, this isn’t the first time that Tyler, The Creator has come out. For example, in April 2015 he tweeted, “I tried to come out of the damn closet four days ago and no one cared hahaha.” Including suggestive lyrics in past albums, Tyler, The Creator has made several statements about his sexuality. Coming out can be a stressful and difficult experience for anyone, but Tyler, The Creator’s situation speaks to the increased difficulty that celebrities in hypermasculine atmospheres can face. Rap and R&B communities have a history of queerphobia, and although people are becoming more accepting of LGBTQ identities, queer artists such as Tyler, The Creator still face discrimination in the industry. Unwelcoming

environments and prejudiced fans can make success in Rap and R&B difficult for queer artists and get them labelled as “undesirable.” As a gay black man, there have been several instances where I have felt unwelcome in Rap and R&B communities. I believe that this queerphobia stems from the fact that the Rap and R&B genres are typically modeled after African American culture, which has been known for queerphobia and hyper-masculinity. Growing up in African American culture in the Southern United States, I have seen how this queerphobia stems from the common hyper-masculine mindset. Hypermasculine environments tend to weed out people and characteristics that threaten their image of what a “real man” looks and acts like. Communities based on this mindset usually lump all LGBTQ identities together as just “gay” and assume that a man being gay or claiming any LGBTQ identity makes them less of a man. This can cause many men to do everything in their power to appear as

illustration by Kaylie Larlee

“NEXT LINE WILL HAVE ‘EM LIKE ‘WHOA’, I’VE BEEN KISSING WHITE BOYS SINCE 2004”

masculine as possible, while also avoiding things that are potentially “gay” or emasculating. Queer Rap and R&B artists such as Fly Young Red, Big Freedia, and D-Smith have spoken about their experiences in the industry and how they have faced and dealt with queerphobia. In VH1’s Out in Hip-Hop special, they addressed queerphobic rap lyrics and how different sexual orientations and gender identities face issues that straight, cisgender artists do not. For example, when talking about queerphobic rap lyrics, Fly Young Red stated that he stays away from queerphobic songs or lyrics because, as a gay man, he feels as if these lyrics are

personally directed at him. Big Freedia then mentions a gig she took where she hyped up a crowd for a straight rapper, who then called her a “fag.” In my opinion, Rap and R&B are two of the most difficult music genres for LGBTQ people to successfully establish themselves in, but it can be done. Artists like Tyler, The Creator coming out make important contributions to representations of queerness in these communities. Young outcasts that want rap songs catered to them and not against them need this representation to start changing the queerphobia and hyper-masculinity in the Rap and R&B genres.

10 queer characters that haven’t died yet by Bridget Gismondi

he way straig ht content creators like to kill off queer characters can make many fans long ing for queer representation wonder, “which queer characters haven’t died yet?” Wonder no more with this handy list of 10 queer characters that haven’t died…yet.

1.Yuri katsuki and victor Nikiforov, Yuri!!! on ice Watching Yuri and Victor’s relationship develop over the course of the series was genuinely heartwarming and beautiful. They mutually inspire and support each other while still being their own developed individuals. Yuri’s struggle with anxiety is both highly frustrating and relatable, and Victor’s hedonism is so understandable after his unhappiness before becoming Yuri’s coach is unveiled.

2. Cecil Palmer, welcome to night vale Cecil, a small town reporter, dutifully guides the listener through eldritch Night Vale’s most dire straits and most hard-fought victories. His sexual orientation is organically integrated into WTNV’s overarching plot through his romance with the scientist Carlos, which is a pleasure to see unfold. Their romance is a source of normal human relatability in a town of surrealist horror

3. amanita Caplan, Sense8 Amanita is always supportive of her girlfriend, Nomi, whether that means defending her from transphobes or helping her evade a sinister organization bent on killing her and the people she telepathically communicates with. Throughout the show, she puts her own life and comfort on the line to keep Nomi safe. She’s brave, bold, sassy, loyal, and always down to screw with the system.

4. Lito rodriguez, Sense8 Lito is a gay actor in Mexico City, wishing to stay firmly in the closet for fear of losing his career. While he tends to be the one of the more comedic characters out of Sense8’s main cast, his problems are still treated seriously. Lito can be overdramatic to a hilarious extent, but he also has beautiful and emotional moments—he somehow made a blowjob in a bathroom sound poetic.

5. kat edison, the Bold type The path of Kat’s relationship with the proud Muslim lesbian Adena has been full of bumps, but their chemistry and emotional development makes the viewer root for them. In addition, Kat’s straight women friends never act grossed out by about Kat’s attraction to women, and they remain as physically affectionate with Kat as they were before she started questioning and wholeheartedly support her.

6. ruby and Sapphire, Steven universe These two are adorable. Every time Ruby and Sapphire make an appearance, they steal the show with their cuteness. They have a classic opposites-attract set-up—they’re literally fire and ice! Although few, each appearance shows off a different aspect of their relationship. “Keystone Motel” shows how they fight and resolve their conflicts. “The Answer” shows how they met. And “Hit the Diamond” just shows them being cute and flirty! Together they fuse into Garnet, the beautiful badass who helps lead the Crystal Gems.

7. ace, rock and riot Webcomic Rock and Riot focuses on the rivalries of two 50s gangs and the romances of their members. Literally no character is straight. Standout ut of the whole lovable bunch, Ace leads the Bandits, a gang not involved in the Rollers and Jaquettes’ rivalry, that consists of nonbinary kids. Their concept alone is cool, but their storylines around leading the Bandits and their romance with Rolly, a transgender member of the Jaquettes, are a lot of fun to read.

8. undyne and alphys, undertale Like Ruby and Sapphire, the contrast between Undyne and Alphys makes their relationship engaging. Alphys is an awkward, self-conscious scientist with a passion for anime, and Undyne is the brash yet gregarious head of the royal guard. Undyne is allowed to exhibit an amount of aggression not normally accepted in female characters, which is cool from a feminist standpoint, and also adds to the game’s fantastic humor.

9. Pearl, Steven universe Pearl’s journey through jealousy, grief, and recovery is one of the strongest character arcs in Steven Universe. Pearl’s backstory is tragic, and her pain causes her to make some poor decisions which hurt herself and her friends. However, Pearl is able to slowly work through her problems and start a new chapter in her life.

10. freckle, the Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo Freckle’s meme status is completely deserved. This genderfluid character’s sense of chaos is a genuine highlight of this series and creates some of its most iconic lines and moments. Freckle is the definition of being a mess but not giving a shit and getting what you want.

I'm Not Your Fetish by Ian Dorbu photography by Theo Horne

Faceless Man: Never been with a black guy before Faceless Man: Wanna show me the difference? Me: I’m not here to be your fetish, dude Faceless Man: I never said you were? Faceless Man: I’m not racist, I just wanna get with a black guy Me: Why, may I ask? Faceless Man: You’ve got big dicks Faceless Man: I wanna taste some chocolate cream

Me: You do realize that reducing me to my skin color and a stereotype is still racist, right? Faceless Man: No, it’s not Faceless Man: I just wanna taste some chocolate cream Faceless Man: Wanna meet up? Me: No Faceless Man: Why, you racist? Faceless Man: Fuck off Faceless Man: Jump off a bridge, n*****

Damion Barksdale photography by Sophia Hautala

t first, it was simple curiosity. I was a child who was ignorant to so many things in the world. Not really understanding what puberty was doing to me, I quickly learned what a Google search could provide with just a few simple words. To be clear, it was porn that I had found, or at least heterosexual porn at first. About a month later, I found myself just looking at the men. This is when I realized what the word “gay” meant. Living in a small Southern town in the Bible Belt, I was familiar with the connotations of being gay at an early age. I already stood out as the clumsy, awkward kid, so when I realized my sexual orientation, I also realized something else: if people knew I was gay, they would think that I was disgusting and unnatural. Even though my orientation felt natural to me, I did some experimentation over the course of a year to test it. The results were conclusive–I was gay. When I finally got to middle school, I made the choice to pretend to be straight, which proved difficult since I never had a girlfriend or even talked about girls as much as other boys. I was always trying to fit in, and I would have done whatever it took to do so. I wasn’t so lucky in my home life. During a seemingly normal court-mandated visit to my father’s house, he found a stockpile of the gay porn I had collected but forgot to delete. He confronted me about it calmly, but with that disappointed tone that I rarely heard from him. At the end of that weekend, my mother and stepfather came to pick my brother and me up so that they could yell at me. I got the typical “man shall not lie with another man” speech, but that was the first time I wanted to cry when I heard it.

My parents and I didn’t talk about it for two months, which was about how long I was grounded. After struggling to hold up a false image of myself, my arms grew tired, and I finally took a chance. I came out in high school as a spur of the moment decision. Some of my close friends said that they already knew, but my best friend was completely shocked. Looking back, the only thing that I regret is not coming out sooner. I missed out on some possibly strong relationships because I was still so concerned with what everyone thought about me. Thankfully, I kept all the friends that mattered to me. Now I’m just free, no chains to stop me from living my life the way I want to– unapologetically. Coming out did cause me to lose some people, including my own father, but I survived what I once believed would kill me.

@outcrowdmagsu

Syracuse University // SUNY-ESF

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