The 'Out'port by Ryan Crocker

St. John’s LGBT Guide/Lifestyle Magazine

THE ‘OUT’PORT

Manila Luzon Our Exclusive Interview with Manila Luzon

Gay Travel Take a Trip to the Land Down Under

Gay Scene History City’s LGBT Nightlife History

June/July Edition 2013

Hotspot Map City Map of LGBT Hotspots

|Hot Spot Review| The Happy Hummus Hut

hey say money can’t buy you happi-

ness, but it sure takes the edge off

being miserable.

That

was certainly true

for me on a rainy and bone-chilling day in

June

when

Sun-

decided to escape the

Happy Hummus Hut.

miserable weather at

The eatery, which recently celebrated the successful conclusion of its first year in

operation, certainly lives up to its name.

the website, owner

plains the type of

Hut offers:

Hylnn Kenny excuisine Happy Hummus

“Over the last six years, I have transitioned from a Standard American Diet (SAD, no kidding!) to a mix of raw vegan and vegetarian diets. I have found myself becoming happier, healthier, and heartier. I have more energy because I learned that food is the fuel our bodies need and most of us are putting diesel in our gas tanks.

I have learned how to share foods that nourish both my mind and body. Last but not least, I have learned that these raw so much happier because

vegan and vegetarian foods taste delicious and are forming the bases of many hearty and heart warming dishes.”

Happy Hummus Hut

lthough it was already well past the lunch rush by the time

arrived, the

cozy space was still bustling with the quiet hum of eating and conversation. employee who said he wasn’t from foundland and a customer from

An New-

Halifax

were talking about how much they loved

that people with these very strict dietary

can say that, for the first time in my life,

was able to completely fin-

The texture combination in these rice paper rolls is almost addictive. I could ish something with curry in it.

probably have continued to eat them

bust.

And the taco one... oh, taco one. From the first bite to aftertaste, I don’t think I’ve

St. John’s. That alone put me in a good mood. I’m not gluten-free, vegetarian, or Vegan and am painfully unfamiliar with the lingo that comes with these lifestyles. Two employees sensed my unfamiliarity as I ummed and aahed at the menu and eagerly helped me decide. Their level of knowledge about the places’s offerings was impressive. This is a place where the staff genuinely care about what they’re serving, and really want to ensure you

until

get the best they have to satisfy your

from ear to ear, she proudly visited

living in

unique tastes. In fact, the whole conver-

sation was like some sort of beautiful ninja move: a few quick and easy question,

and voila-I was sitting down to tuck into two rice rolls

(one

curry, one taco) and

a chickpea salad with roasted red peper dressing.

be honest,

a fan of curry

(it

I’m

not much of

tastes like cilantro to

me, which in turn tastes like soap). o is the type of place

I’m

not a good judge of what people who enjoy curry love about it.

requirements can eat at ease.

the the

ever put something that delicious in

(Giggle). As I write this, “Next time I go back, I can get TWO taco ones instead!”. It’s THAT good. There was my mouth

I’m

excitedly thinking,

nothing wrong with the chickpea salad either.

Just

was finishing up, the

owner arrived for her shift.

Smiling

every table to ask how her patrons were enjoying the food.

The most negative review I overheard was, “This is awesome!” And that’s the worst I could say about it as well. Happy Hummus Hut is definitely and genuinely added to my list of regular dining spots.

And,

judging by the

Pride flag I suggest

they have up in their window, you check it out as well.

By Ryan Crocker

|3| |3|

June/July June/July

|Hot Sp NIGHTLIFE

1. Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water St. 2. Grapevine 206 Water St. 3. Liquid Nightclub 186 Water St. 4. Martini Bar George St. 5. Club V George St.

RESTAURANTS 6. AQUA Kitchen|Bar 310 Water St. 7. The Sprout 364 Duckworth St. 8.Happy Hummus Hut 208 Duckworth St.

June/

pot Map|

/July

COFFEE SHOPS 9.The Rocket Bakery 272 Water St. 10. Hava Java 258 Water St. 11. Coffee & Company 204 Water St. 12. Fixed Coffee & Baking 183 Duckworth St. 13. Coffee Matters 1 Millitary Rd.

Accomodations 14. Gower House 180 Gower St. 15. Abba Inn 36 Queen’s Rd 16. Balmoral House 25 Queen’s Rd. 17. The Ryan Mansion 21 Rennie’s Mill Rd. 18. Banberry House 116 Millitary Rd. 19. Winterholme 79 Rennie’s Mill Rd.

STORES 20. Our Pleasure Duckworth Street 21. Weare Junk 302 Water St.

|Pop on the Rock|

LGBT Characters in Comic Books: A History It’s hard to believe that as little as 25 years ago, most comic books (those published in the United States) were forced to adhere to the Comics Code Authority. The Comics Code, as it was called, was created in 1954 in response to public concern over gory and horrific comic book content and served as an alternative to government regulation. The Code banned graphic depictions of violence and gore in crime and horror comics; zombies, vampires, ghosts, werewolves; victory for villains; and “sex perversion” (a.k.a homosexality). Any publisher whose comics did not abide to these restrictions faced a lack of distribution, as comic book wholesalers only agreed to handle comics featuring the CCA seal on their covers. As a result, many publishers cancelled titles in favour of Code-approved content, while others went out of business.

Over the years, the Code has been revised to reflect the changing times. In the 70s it was updated to allow “sympathetic depiction of criminal behaviour” and corruption of public officials. Zombies, werewolves, vampires and ghouls were also allowed, but only “when handled in the classic tradition such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and other high calibre literary works”. Marvel Comics created a loophole and on multiple occasions called the walking dead “zuvembies”. Throughout the next decade, comic book publishers, most notably DC and Marvel, defied the code on numerous occasions in favour of controversial story lines depicting drug use (and on one occasion mentioning masturbation) and instead published issues without the CCA seal.

Fast forward to present day. LGBT comic book characters have evolved from characters in low-profile publications vaguely alluding to their orientation to high profile characters in committed same-sex relationships, many even going a far as getting married. The most visible and drastic transformation being (in my books) Batwoman, who has gone from being Batman’s beard when introduced in the 50s to being reintroduced in 2006 as a lesbian.

In 1989 the Code was revised to lift the ban on referring to homosexuality to allow non-stereotypical depictions of gays and lesbians, but its influence was beginning to wane and publishers began lessen the seal’s prominence on their covers. By the 2000s, new publishers were deciding not to join the CCA and advertisers were no longer making their decisions to advertise based on CCA compliance. In 2001, Marvel Comics withdrew from the CCA, with DC Comics followed suit in January 2010 and Archie Comics the following day.

It all started in late 70s when Northstar debuted in Uncanny X-Men as a member of the Canadian team Alpha Flight. Flash forward to 1983 and Alpha Flight was given its own comic book series and Northstar was a charter member. To make the characters less two dimensional and more developed, Northstar’s sexual orientation was subtly introduced at the start of the series-

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June/July

– by having it vaguely stating that women never interested him, which at the time was passed off as due to his drive to be a ski champion. Creators were finally given permission to unequivocally state he was gay in 1992. Northstar is also notable in that he is one of few (and probably the first character, to the best of my knowledge) who was originally intended to be gay. Things kind of snowballed from there.

urrently there are several LGBT characters in mainstream comic books (not including comic books based on a TV series or movie), including Batwoman in 52, Countdown, Final Crisis, Detective Comics and Batwoman; Northstar in Alpha Flight, X-Men: Age of the Apocalypse, X-Men: The End, Wolverine and Astonishing X-Men; Green Lantern (Alan Scott) in Earth 2; Mystique in Mystique, The Uncanny X-Men, and numerous other X-Men publications; Renee Montoya in Gotham Central, 52 and Batwoman; Maggie Sawyer in Detective Comics and Batwoman; Hulkling and Wiccan (a newly engaged couple) in Young Avengers (and several other Avengers comics since its cancellation in 2006); Bunker in Teen Titans; Starling in Birds of Prey; Sir Ystin (a.k.a. The Shining Knight) in Demon Knights, the only implicitly trans character in any DC or Marvel comic; Silhouette, Captain Metropolis and Hooded Justice (three members of the Minutemen) in Before Watchmen: Minutemen; Anole in Wolverine and the X-men; Rictor and Shatterstar in X-Factor; Daken (Wolverine’s son) in Dark Wolverine, Wolverine and Uncanny X-Men.

I would have loved to explore each character’s story lines further and elaborate on why I thought each was significant, but there are just too many of them (a very comforting problem to have). Multiple comic books have even begun marrying off their gay characters, which is in direct correlation to the growing legalization of marriage in the United States.

Northstar (a man of firsts) married his boyfriend Kyle last year in Astonishing X-Men, and Hulkling and Wiccan recently became engaged, setting the stage for yet another Marvel same-sex wedding in the near future. Surprisingly, Archie Comics was the first mainstream comic to marry off a gay character. Kevin Keller was introduced in 2010 and married just last year. DC Comics has yet to marry a gay couple.

I will sign off here in hopes that I will explore this topic in further detail in a future article. The listing of comic book appearances I have provided are (obviously) not the character’s only appearances, but series in which their LGBT story lines are explored. Feel free to let me know what you would like to read in future Pop on the Rock columns via email at carajeanbrown@gmail.com or Twitter @ReallyCJB. By Cara Brown

LGBT Events- Provided by Events are subject to change. Visit www.stjohnsscene.com to see the latest events

JUNE June 15, 2013 DJ Androgynous

DJ Androgynous will be spinning at Velvet! $8.00 Cover Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

June 18, 2013 Velvet Underground

Worker & DJ Androgynous spinning all night! $7.00 Cover Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

JUNE

JULY

June 28, 2013 Digital Dan Video Dance

July 5, 2013 Digital Dan Video Dance

July 13, 2013 DJ Fabian

June 29, 2013 DJ Fabian

July 6, 2013 DJ Fabian

June 15, 2013 PRIDE WEEK BEGINS

245 beer & Highballs until 12:30 Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

Join DJ Fabian at Velvet $7.00 Cover Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

July 12, 2013 Digital Dan Video Dance

June 22, 2013 Digital Dan

245 beer & Highballs until 12:30 Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

Join Digital Dan at Velvet Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

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June/July

Join DJ Fabian at Velvet $7.00 Cover Doors open 11pm – 3am Velvet Club & Lounge 208 Water Street

10. Gentleman |PSY|

|DJ Fabian’s Top 10|

9. Just Give me a reason (various mixes) |Pink & Nate Ruess|

3. I Love It (various mixes) |Icona Pop feat Charli| 2. Get Lucky (Ranny’s Disco Booty mix) |Daft Punk|

8. People Like Us (Baggi Begovic mix) |Kelly Clarkson|

7. This is what it feels like (David Guetta remix) |Armin Van Buuren|

1. Blurred Lines (Liam Keegan & Explicit Video version) |Robin Thicke & Pharrell 5. 22 (DJ Mike D remix) |Taylor Swift|

6. I Could be the One (various mixes) |Avicci & Nicky Romero|

4. I Need your Love |Calvin Harris feat Ellie Gouldin| |9|

June/July

Manila Luzon in St. John’s

“This REALLY IS THE FAR EAST honey!”

couture was hotter than Theusual at Velvet on May 17 as St. John’s welcomed worldfamous drag queen Manila Luzon.

he couture was hotter than usual at Velvet on May 17 as St. John’s welcomed world-famous drag queen Manila Luzon. A household name in many circles of the LGBT community, Manila first rose to international prominence following her beloved appearance on season 3 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Her sharp wit, artistic talents, and unique lip-syncing style made her a consistent hit with the judges and fans. And thanks to organizer (and St. John’s native) Del Stamp, her fans here in the City of Legends were able to enjoy all that talent up close and personal.

During her visit, Stamp shared the best of St. John’s with Manila - including, of course, the view from Signal Hill. Manila shared photos and video clips of our city with her hundreds of thousands of fans on Facebook, praising its beauty. But the highlight of her trip, and the reason for her visit to a city she joked “really is the far east, honey”, was a thrilling performance in front of a standing-room-only crowd at Velvet. That crowd included much of the St. John’s LGBT community, visitors from across the island, and even tourists from around the world who came especially to see Manila. To the delight of her local fans, Manila “I see various queens from RuPaul’s Drag performed live - including her hits The Race frequently between Vancouver and Chop and Hot Couture. In between her Seattle and I’ve had the pleasure hosting two sets, she invited The ‘Out’port back events that they’ve headlined there,” Stamp said, thanking sponsors OUTtv and to her dressing room for an exclusive interview. Priape for making it all possible. Being a successful drag queen requires a “I’ve gotten to interact with them and lot more than the traits of great performer. know some of them on a personal level Manila is a make-up artist, a fashion de- and there is no reason why the people signer, a stylist, a singer, a comedian, and of St. John’s shouldn’t get to share the so much more. Manila said her favourite same experiences I have. So I contacted parts of being a drag queen are all the ones the team at Velvet - and together we were that enable her to express herself. able to make it happen. I love St. John’s to pieces and I’m so happy myself and Velvet “I consider myself an artist first,” she said. “I love anything that involves artistic could do this for everyone.” creation. You know I can’t have children - because I’m a homo and and they won’t “You know I can’t have let us marry or adopt children where I’m children - because I’m a from. So my drag art, that’s my baby. That’s homo and and they won’t what I create.” let us marry or adopt” During the interview, Manila was surchildren where I’m from. rounded by more than a dozen drag queens, including many of the best-known and loved stars of the St. John’s drag scene. She said she’s touched knowing that her high-profile career has given her the opportunity to inspire other drag queens. “I never actually had a drag mother when I first started doing drag,” she said. “I feel so honoured that people are watching me, and learning from me, and taking my tips the way I stole everything from a whole bunch of drag queens who came before me.” anila uses her powers for good in many other ways as well. As a prominent AIDS activist, she stresses that we still have a lot of work to do. Just because treatments are helping people with HIV and AIDS live longer and fuller lives doesn’t mean we’re home free. “We have to keep ramming this message down people’s throats,” she said.

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June/July

“I love getting to see all of my drag sisters,”

ince appearing on the reality television program, Manila’s career has only continued to accelerate and expand. She’s been seen on RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race, RuPaul’s Drag U, MTV’s Made, and more. She’ll be back with our own Del Stamp again this summer to kick off Vancouver Pride at LIBERACE at Celebrities Night Club. And one of the biggest events on her horizon is Drag Stars at Sea. From November 30 to December 7, Manila will join nearly 40 other drag queens aboard a brand new luxury cruise ship, the MSC Divina. She can’t wait. “I love getting to see all of my drag sisters,” she said. “It’s wonderful that we’re all going to be together in the same place, and for an extended period of time. We rarely get to see each other all at once. It’s going to be AMAZING!” And that’s exactly what Manila’s visit to St. John’s was for our LGBT community: AMAZING.

Ryan Crocker

|Ask Doris!| Doris Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/DorisAnitaDouche Doris Twitter: @OfficialDoris E-Mail Doris: AskDorisAnitaDouche@Gmail.com “White Trash Glamorous” available on iTunes Dear Doris My roommate is driving me up the wall! She doesn’t do her dishes, clean up after her cat and when she’s having sex she is really loud! I’ve basically had it with how she is disrespecting me and my other roommates in our home. Is there a way for this to stop? From: Pissed Off Dear “PO’d” First of all, it is very childish to get revenge on anyone, especially someone you live with… With that being said, I don’t act my age so this is what I’d do.

Dear Doris I am a middle aged woman who is very curious. I have been married for 18 years now with a wonderful husband that I adore. The only problem is I have been wondering what it would be like to have a relationship with a woman. I sometimes think at this point in my life I should have what I want in life and the hell with the rest but I don’t want to hurt my husband or ruin the years of relationship we have built up over the years. What do I do? Dear “MAW” I can understand how you’ve wanted to try something new. Having the same plate of beef handed to you for 18 years can make you sick of it. Sometimes you just want to order the fish. What I think you should do is 1 of 2 things.

With the dishes, find out when your room mate uses the bathroom in the morning. Put the dishes in the shower. It’s just a little friendly “hint” that says “bitch, do the dishes” For the litter box issue, put it outside of her room so she immediately steps in it when she leaves. Set up a camera because it is youtube gold and it should go viral. You’re welcome.

1. Sit down and talk to your husband about it. Inform him that you have these feelings towards having a relationship with a woman and discuss how you can try it out within his comfort level. 2. “accidentally” put on a lesbian porn. If your husband gets aroused, text your friend who is waiting outside to show up as a slutty pizza delivery girl and go from there. What man doesn’t like 2 girls eating a sausage pizza in a suggestive way? Just be honest with your husband. If he truly loves you, he will try to make sure you’re happy. I mean, this is 2013. You might have yourself a sister wife in the future! -Doris Dear Doris i’m a youg lesbian who is having trble finding a girlfiend. how can i find ne who will love me? Dearest “Youg” Learn how to spell -Doris

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With the sex, I think you should replace her lube (if she has any) with hot sauce. Yes, it will be the noisiest time that you will hear her, BUT it will stop her from doing it again. Maybe you’ll get a spare room out of it! -Doris Dear Doris: So you find out someone you trusted has been lying to you... You have to see this individual almost every day... Do you confront this person or ignore it?

Dear “Lied To” Trust is very hard to regain. Everyone has been lied to in life and it’s just one of those things that happen. Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to have to face this person each day knowing that they did you wrong. If you bottle it up inside and let it eat at you, you will end up going crazy and you will end up in a sweater where you will hug yourself for a very long time. You will need to confront this person, not in a public setting, just pull them aside and tell them how you feel and what you know (make sure there are no sharp objects around because you’ve already had some time to bottle up your emotions). If they lie about it, don’t worry about it because you know the truth, and you now know this person is a compulsive liar. Knowing that you are better than them, and you took the high road will help you get over the pain this person caused you! |13|Hope this helps!

-Doris June/July June/July

|St. John`s Gay Club History|

There’s no denying that St. John’s is famous for its nightlife. Throughout North America and around the world, George Street is often one of the first things people associate with our fair city. It’s right up there with the incredible scenery, colourful rowhouses, icebergs and whales. Our LGBT community is no exception. We’ve been proudly joining in the fun of our city’s nightlife for more than half a century. And, in a city that’s used to being first, it should come as no surprise that we took those first cautious steps out of the shadows long before our peers in most other cities. The ‘Out’port sat down with Fabian Fitzpatrick, our city’s beloved DJ Fabian, to learn more about everything that led up to our current happening hot spot, Velvet. Combined with other research, we were able to piece together this fascinating, if incomplete, history of LGBT nightlife in St. John’s.

1960s

“Gays were socializing in local bars long before the first officially-established gay bar opened ,” Fitzpatrick said . In the early 1960s, there were already gay-friendly establishments in St. John’s where the LGBT community could socialize as openly as felt comfortable for them. One of the first was The Porthole , a bar located on Water Street that is known to have been gay-friendly at least as early as 1966. Another popular hangout, primarily for gay men looking to “socialize” with foreign fishermen and sailors, was The Waterfront Club. Even in the 1960s, when homophobia was the norm around the world , St. John’s was different. Sure , the LGBT community still suffered insults, and still had to work hard to achieve our current level of tolerance and acceptance , but St. John’s offered a decent and good foundation to build upon . Today, we can proudly say ours was one of the first cities to have known gay-friendly establishments. The 1960s also set the tone for a fact that has remained true through to today: in this city, all members of the LGBT community as well as our heterosexual supporters and friends party together, under the same roof. We have always been less segregated and segmented than in most cities.

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1970s

By the 1970s, St. John’s was widely recognized as one of the most gay-friendly cities in North America. This was, in many ways, the golden era of the LGBT nightlife in the city a time of tremendous excitment, joy, discovery, and, of course, pride. The extremely popular Admiral’s Keg, located in the old Newfoundland Hotel, was the place to be for most of the first half of the decade, from 1969 to 1974. “It was named by Time Magazine as one of Canada’s top gay-friendly destinations in the early 1970s,” Fitzpatrick added. Then something extraordinary happened. In 1974, the first officially-established gay bar opened. Friends, as it was called, was an instant hit. It’s impossible to over-emphasize how warmly this establishment was received - not only by the LGBT community, but St. John’s as a whole. “Many gay and lesbian people were able to be out and proud in St. John’s during this period. And not only did the bar cater to gays and lesbians, it became a hotspot destination for many straight people as well,” Fitzpatrick said. “Its huge popularity with straight people during this time is a testament to the level of acceptance of gay and lesbian people in the city. It was easily one of downtown’s most popular bars in its heyday.” That heyday lasted until the end of the decade, with Friends shutting its doors for the final time in 1979. The Upper Deck was another LGBT hangout in that era.

1980s

The 1980s had a roaring start with the opening of Madames, which was located where Velvet is today. Madames continued the St. John’s tradition of offering nightlife that easily compared to the best available anywhere in the world. The Alley Pub was another popular LGBT spot, as was Club Max - which was a gay-friendly equivalent of Studio 54. Madames closed in 1984 and was quickly followed up by Priscilla’s, which is where Fitzpatrick first became DJ Fabian. “I always remember the music being just as hip, if not more hip, than many of the mainland clubs I also visited at this time. The local owners were always in tune with what was happening in gay clubs around the world,” he said. “I always had a huge love of the music and would hang around the DJ booth. When Private Eyes - now Liquid - opened the following year, I befriended one of the owners who and he used to get me to pick up records when I travelled. One night he just asked if I was interested in DJing myself and said he’d show me the ropes. That was in December, 1987, and I started DJing on Wednesdays, which was a lesbian night featuring live music and a DJ during breaks. I gradually worked my way up to DJing on weekends from there.” For lesbian residents of St. John’s, the 1980s marked several attempts to establish their own bars. Catz and Earhart’s were two such bars, both located in the space above Republic.The decade wrapped up with the establishment of The Embassy,located near Smoke’s Poutine - a hotspot that |15| |15| thrived well into the 1990s. June/July

June/July

1990s Solomon’s, founded in 1991, was the leading gay bar in St. John’s for the first several years of the 1990s. During this time, there was another short-lived attempt at a separate lesbian bar: Rita’s Place, located in the basement of Haymarket Square. But the most significant gay bar of the 1990s is undoubtedly Zone 216. “It was easily the longest-lived gay bar in the city’s history,” Fitzpatrick said. First opened in 1994 and commonly called The Zone, this bar was one of the most popular in the city throughout the 1990s. As has often been the case in St. John`s, it was equally popular with gay-friendly, heterosexual partygoers and would fill to bursting when the city’s other popular bars announced last call. This was another, especially good time to be a member of the LGBT community in St. John’s. Fitzpatrick added, while everyone’s coming out is different and some have had it harder than others, St. John’s always offered a safe place to meet friends and have fun. “I look back fondly on my early days going to gay bars and was proud to have many straight friends who loved to tag along and enjoyed the fun vibe the gay bars had to offer,” he said.

2000s

The Zone was so popular it wore the crown of LGBT nightlife in St. John’s for the entire decade, only shutting its doors for the final time in 2010. It was the backdrop to a decade of tremendous progress for the LGBT community, up to and including the right to marry. And it was a beacon for those who were a little too timid to break down the closet doors. “Today, kids are coming out in high school - at younger and younger ages. By the time they’re of legal age to go to a bar, they are already well aware who they are. They are comfortable in their own skin, so to speak,” Fitzpatrick said. “But there will always be those who need more time. Just the other night, I had a chat with a guy who recently came out. He told me how he would hang out across the street, staring at The Zone’s door for hours, afraid to go in.”

2010s The beginning of this decade was marked by the lack of an officially-established gay bar following The Zone’s closure. However, as it always has, St. John’s proved a welcoming place for the LGBT community to party. Hotspots included just about every bar that didn’t have stripper poles, everything from Club V to Liquid, from the Grapevine to the Franklin Hotel. And that brings us to today. Velvet, our shiny, new gay bar, opened its doors in April, 2012, and has already made its mark. Whether its a typically-crowded weekend night, or a special event like a performance by the likes of Manila Luzon, Velvet continues the proud tradition of giving our LGBT community a place to call home.

By Ryan Crocker

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|Dating Someone in the Closet| We get it: you’re loud, you’re proud, you’re political. And that’s wonderful; it is uplifting to see someone confident enough to declare themselves as LGBT in a world that is still fifty years backwards. But not everyone is at the same comfort level as you -- a lot of gay men are discrete, are still living inside the closet, and, with the state of global homophobia, it’s not as if we can blame them. In my many years of dating, I’ve had the tendency to attract a certain type of person, the young man at the verge of coming out. As such, I’ve had quite some experience interacting with them. Here are some tips:

10.

Don’t be upset if he hides you.

When you’re on a date at a coffee shop and he meets his old college frat brothers, don’t be offended if he introduces you as a buddy. Don’t be offended if he won’t accept your relationship request on Facebook. Don’t be offended if he is evasive about you meeting his parents. Don’t take it personal; in this case, it really isn’t you, it’s him. Understand where he’s coming from; no matter who he’s dating, as long as it’s a guy, he will be shady about it. Realize that there is a reason he hasn’t come out yet and that introducing you as the loving boyfriend would blow that cover. Compassion is the key.

There’s so many wonderful things about gay culture -- a rich tradition of cinema, music, theatre, painting, sculpture, dance, etc. It’s a whole big culture which is even more varied if you factor in geographic, race, and class boundaries. He probably has done some research of his own; nightly viewing of YouTube videos or discrete readings of LGBT posts. But you are in the best position to give him a first hand tour of everything you have found out in your own personal journey. You can show him other facets he may not be aware of before. Break stereotypes, show him what it really means to be LGBT. And just as a caveat, make it little by little. If he hasn’t fully come to terms with his sexuality, roleplaying gay BDSM may be a bit too much for a first date.

Lead by example. Be aware of political issues, challenge norms, defy conventions, rebel. The crucial point here is you’re showing him that you are fighting the good fight, the fight for tomorrow, the case for romance. Show him that at the core of being LGBT is the spirit of an activist who stands up proud against a society that forces him down -that he is not alone, that he is not a problem, but that the world is. Yet let him learn as well when it may be time to turn away every now and then. Choose which battles to take part in. Learn to tread the line between a politically incorrect gay joke and a full-on homophobic slur. Not all bigots are evil -- they too are part of a system that has allowed bigotry to be rampant.

Expose him little by little to LGBT culture.

. Teach him when to fight and when to take flight.

. Resist your hurge to blurt out.

Take away the pressure.

I get it, you like being the center of attention. But he doesn’t. He would find it uncomfortable if people knew about the two of you. And he wouldn’t be upset that it’s you and him, he’d be upset because he wouldn’t want his secret the topic of gossip over the water dispenser. Tell your best friend if you must, blog anonymously if you must, but leave names out. In a world of interconnected media, it’s not just your secret your exposing to the world. It’s his too.

Don’t force stuff on him. Don’t go to his house, crying in the rain carrying a boom box, forcing him to commit to you. Assure him that you are ready to take things one day at a time. This is a relationship, not a pot, not a political statement, not a means to cater to your needs. If he just wants to chill, then lay down on the coach, throw back some Lays and some peanuts, watch Sandra Bullock, crack a stupid joke, and just enjoy the evening.

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Never assume him to be ignorant. While he may be new to the wonders and sorrows of LGBT life, this does not mean he’s stupid. You are his lover, not his teacher. He may have been straight before, but his past experiences have defined him as much as yours have. He has his own brand of wisdom; he may have an important perspective you overlook. Be receptive to his ideas. Listen and learn. This is about your growth as much as his.

Forego Labels

Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, transexual, straight-acting, discrete, top, bottom, versatile, power bottom, pansexual, omnisexual, try-sexual, PnP, chub, twink, bear, stud, drag, boyfriend, boyfie, husband, partner, LGBTQVISPAPS -- there is a whole lot of labels in a gay world. Forget all them. Labels have a function, but they can be restricting. The more you seek to define your relationship, the more you take away from it. Just be two guys who love each other.

Show him how a man loves.

Indulge in something unconventionally masculine. For some of us, being gay has a lot to do with being fabulous, but every now and then indulge in hockey, ride an ATV, or play a video game. It can’t always be about theatre, and fashion, and art. Remember that he may have grown up with a conventionally masculine upbringing, and his taste, whether you like it or not, is defined by that. So put on a hockey jersey and watch the guys beat each other up. Who knows, might be fun for you later that night.

It doesn’t matter if he’s the catcher or the pitcher, he’s still with a guy, an experience that would be quite new to him. He may not be a virgin, per se, but moving from women to men is more than a difference in genitalia. He will be terrified, thinking of prison rape stories, or something to that effect. Be gentle. Be tender. Take him by the forearms and kiss him straight on the lips. Lean your forehead against his and smile. Hold his back and continue kissing him. Be slow, but be firm. Lay him down and make love. Soon enough, he’ll forget his own name.

Realize that more often than not, it’s not going to last. The sad truth is that this is a man you are opening to a world he may not have known of before. If you’re good, if you did your job right, he will start having questions. He will want to explore, and that’s natural. You’re throwing a kid in the middle of DisneyWorld, don’t expect him to stay on one ride. Enjoy your moments together, that’s the best thing you can do. Love him, if you must. But let him go. You don’t want to, but, just like what you may have said countless times before, how can a baby bird grow wings and not learn to fly?

By Riley Palanca

|Around the World| THE LAND DOWN UNDER: SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

Sydney has long been regarded as a must-see destination for LGBT travellers, exuding tolerance, individuality and vibrancy. The best thing about being LGBT in Sydney is the range of activities and events, from wild nights on Oxford Street to relaxing brunches in Newtown. There are a number of gay hubs in this very gay-friendly city and there is always something to satisfy your unique preferences, something that makes the Sydney LGBT community dynamic and highly visible..

Mardi Gras At the top of the list of must-see events is the world famous Sydney Mardi Gras festival. Consisting of a curated arts festival, fair day, dance party and parade, it’s three weeks of wonderful mayhem. You will wonder how on earth you survived to come out the other side! Sydney is transformed by thousands of visitors swarming the city, an event you won’t want to miss. If the past 35 years of Mardi Gras history takes your fancy, make sure you head to the Sydney Mardi Gras Museum in Darlinghurst. It exhibits a wide array of archival material following the controversy, triumphs and evolution of the festival..

Oxford Street If you’re still in the mood to party after Mardi Gras, look no farther than Oxford Street. This is the burgeoning party heartland of Sydney’s LGBT scene. There are too many venues to list them all, so I’ll just mention the faves. Basement Bar Phoenix (Exchange Hotel) is the best dose of Sydney’s underground scene, where every night differs from the last, and where the party continues well after the sun’s up. If the alternative scene is what you’re in to, then the Underground Bar at The Oxford Hotel is intimate, dark and hosts awesome alternative events. For a Sydney favourite, check out the Midnight Shift with regular events, and in true Sydney style, lots of drag shows! Arq is one of the bigger venues on Oxford Street and offers a great mix of music and crowds. There are regular lesbian nights - so check the website. For something a little more stylish where you can escape to a world of excessive delight, Slide has cabaret, burlesque, performance art, and the acclaimed El’Circo. All that AND a fantastic menu. If you’re looking for a girl’s night on Oxford Street, GiRLTHING is where it’s at - and the newest epic lesbian night in Sydney happens every second Friday of the month at Q-Bar.

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Inner West Hubs If Oxford Street isn’t your scene, don’t worry. There is loads more to keep you busy. Newtown - and surrounding suburbs Erskineville, Marrickville, Enmore, Glebe, and Annandale - is where life in the LGBT community revolves around strolls through the park, café afternoons, bookshop visiting and market hopping. But don’t be fooled into thinking these inner west hubs go to sleep when the sun goes down. In fact, quite the opposite just without all the glitz of Oxford Street. Check out the Sly Fox in Enmore, one of my personal favourites, hosting one of the best girl’s nights in town every Wednesday. It would seem that Sydney is the home of lesbian nights with Birdcage, Zanzibar Newtown usually attracting a younger crowd in great spirits to dance the night away. Then just a stroll down to neighbouring suburb Erskineville you will find Moist at the Imperial Hotel. It attracts a young crowd for a spinky night on the last Friday of every month. The Imperial is a long standing, much-loved LGBT venue in the area, so if you don’t go for Moist, make sure to head there for one of the famous drag shows!

Beaches! Now for the obvious. Let’s face it: you are coming to Sydney, a city with some of the most beautiful beaches in the world! Bondi Beach is the classic tourist beach and it’s also very gay friendly. However, for something a bit more off the beaten track, travel that little bit further to either Obelisk or Lady Jane Beaches. Both are nudist beaches, attracting a mixed crowd, but a favourite among the Sydney gay community! Coogee Women’s Pool (Grant Reserve, Beach Street) is a public pool which has become a lovely hangout for Sydney lesbians. The beautiful blue water of Sydney’s coastline will leave you craving more!

So I look forward to welcoming all you Newfoundlanders to If you’re not cruising down King Street Newtown and instead Sydney. You won’t ever get bored here - and will leave being area amazed by the openness, diversity and love within our Sydney LGBT community! If you’re looking for a taste of something that’s uniquely Sydney, one establishment I highly recommend is Rainbow Tango at the Colombian Hotel, Darlinghurst. Do something good for your mind, body and soul with this intimate, relaxing and enlightening activity.

By Sammy Goyen

Chicks with Picks is another activity which will make you feel at home and cosy with Sydney’s LGBT community. This acoustic open mic night for girls sees beautiful, talented women hit the stage while friends and family relax with a beer and sausage sandwich in hand. This happens every second Friday at 4 p.m. in the Clare Hotel, Ultimo. And be sure to check out LOTL (Lesbians on the Loose) café in Darlinghurst. Enjoy a great coffee while reading up on the latest Sydney lesbian-focused events.

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