ST. JOHN’S LGBT GUIDE & LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE
theoutport.com
July 2014
The Silent B BISEXUALITY MISUNDERSTOOD
Province-wide Pride PARADES AND BONFIRES
Top 10 Pride Anthems FROM GAYNOR TO GAGA
PLUS: NOISY ROOMMATES, CHEESECAKE, AUTHENTIC LIVING & MORE
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In Selec
CONTRIBUTORS Writers Betty Boo betty_boo_kakke@hotmail Darryl Davis @darryl_m_davis Doris Anita Askdorisanitadouche@gmail.com DJFabian Newfoundland @DJFabianNL Taylor Stocks taylor.stocks@gmail.com Editor/Writer Ryan Crocker theoutport@outlook.com Publisher Josh Eddy theoutport@outlook.com Advertising Robyn Noseworthy theoutportadvertising@outlook.com Design & Layout of this issue provided by Perfect Day www.perfectdaycanada.com Thank you to everyone who has made the Pride Parade float possible and a special thank you to Melissa Wade, Jon Cahill, Robert Gaskill, and R&L Capital Growth Inc.
With Pride Week here, it’s a time to party and celebrate. Here are 10 must-have anthems for your party playlist! #1. I Am What I Am Gloria Gaynor (1983) Originally from the Broadway musical “La cage aux folles”, this dance remake is a perfect fit for this years St. John’s Pride with its slogan “I Am...”. #2. Born This Way Lady Gaga (2011) Gaga is a gay icon and this track speaks volumes to all those little monsters looking to come out. #3. Vogue Madonna (1990) The gayest of Madonna’s records pays homage to the underground late 80s dance cult in New York. #4. Same Love Mary Lambert, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (2013) Their 2014 Grammy performance and same sex wedding ceremony cemented this anthem status. #5. Dancing Queen ABBA (1976) Gay icons for 4 decades. This early disco classic was among the first records I ever bought. #6. True Colours Cyndi Lauper (1985) Another gay icon, her True Colours has become a Pride anthem to many.
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#7. I’m Coming Out Diana Ross (1980) Writer Niles Rogers was inspired to write this after seeing 3 Drag Queens perform as Diana in New York. #8. Rise Up Parachute Club (1983) This song came along at a time when gays were rising up in the early 80s and the huge success this song had on Canadian radio speaks volumes. #9. YMCA Village People (1979) At the height of the disco era this San Francisco based group gained a cult following among gays while going mainstream at the same time. #10. Proud Heather Small (2000) Featured in the first and last episodes of the US based TV series “Queer As Folk”, this song went on to be the theme for the 2012 London Olympics. PRIDE EXTRA #11. I Feel Love Donna Summer (1977) This futuristic dance anthem cemented Donna as a gay icon and its futuristic sound stands the test of time.
ON OUR GAYDAR Jenna Talackova became famous for an unfortunate reason: she was booted from the Miss Universe pageant for being a trans woman. But the Canadian model didn’t back down. She hired lawyer Gloria Allred and prepared a lawsuit demanding a change in the rules. Donald Trump, owner of the pageant, agreed that Talackova could compete as long as she was legally a woman under Canadian law, which she is. “We want to give credit where credit is due, and the decision to include transgender women in our beauty competitions is a result
At a time when transgender people are still routinely denied equal opportunities in housing, employment and medical care, today’s decision is in line with the growing levels of public support for transgender people across the country.
of our ongoing discussions with GLAAD,” Paula Shugart, president of the Miss Universe Organization, said at the time. “We have a long history of supporting equality for all women, and this was something we took very seriously.”
Photo: Jenna walking along Robson Street in Vancouver (Wikipedia).
Talackova went on to finish in the Top 12 and was awarded the title of Miss Congeniality. GLAAD was thrilled with the results and used Talackova’s story to raise trans issues.
“The Miss Universe Organization today follows institutions that have taken a stand against discrimination of transgender women including the Olympics, NCAA, the Girl Scouts of America and The CW’s America’s Next Top Model,” GLAAD’s senior director, Herndon Graddick, said at the time. “At a time when transgender people are still routinely denied equal opportunities in housing, employment and medical care, today’s decision is in line with the growing levels of public support for transgender people across the country.” It seems Talackova has never been afraid of pursuing her goals. The Vancouver resident was just 14 years of age when she started her gender transition, a process she had completely wrapped up by the time she was 19. Since the controversy, she’s used her time in the spotlight to campaign for changes she believes in and, of course, to further her modelling career. She has appeared in an advertisement for PETA, served as Grand Marshal of the Vancouver Pride Parade, and was featured in the January issue of Elle Canada. Most significantly, she stars in E! Canada’s hit reality series Brave New Girls, which follows Talackova’s journey from Vancouver to Toronto to pursue modelling gigs. She has also campaigned to have the World Health Organization remove transsexualism from its list of mental disorders. written by Ryan Crocker
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WRITING PROUD HISTORIES July in St. John’s means one thing for the queer community: Pride is upon us. This festival is our opportunity to come together and celebrate our similarities and differences within the LGBT community. Through events championed under the banner of the rainbow flag, Pride gives us the chance to write our stories, share our knowledge and experiences, and recognize the strength and passion that lives within the hearts of so many of us. More than ever, it is also a moment to reflect on our capacity to create change within society and be proud of our personal and public accomplishments. Within this past year, we have a lot to take pride in, especially when it comes to us trans* folk. We as a gender minority have become more visible within our cities, our institutions, and media in general. Protection against gender discrimination is now written into human rights legislation within a number of provinces. Laverne Cox and Carmen Carrera are just two of trans* activists who have gained traction in mainstream media. And this is only to add to the great work that has been going on behind the scenes for years; Toronto
We must take the time during Pride to document our own histories, our struggles that may parallel but vary from those under gay and lesbian narratives. Pride has had a trans* march since 2009 and in combination with World Pride this year looks to be bigger and better than ever. St. John’s has seen its fair share of trans* success as well. Newfoundland was the first of all the provinces to add gender within their Human Rights Act. In November, we recognized trans* week of awareness for the first time and there was trans* contingency in the parade last July. There are also new resources available, like the trans* support group that runs at least once a month. Trans* voices have gotten
Starring:
stories of lbgt youth
Directed by Agnes Walsh Special Guest Greg Malone
Phil Goodridge Amy Anthony Noah Davis Power Robyn Noseworthy Paul Fitzgerald Katy Warren Riley Palanca Renee Dumaresque Nigel Collins Courtney Fowler
ONE NIGHT ONLY
Thursday July 17th 8pm
LSPU Hall / Resource Centre for the Arts 3 Victoria Street, St. John’s
FOR TICKETS call the hall: 753.4531 or book online: www.rca.nf.ca 4 The Outport // July 2014
stronger—and people are starting to listen. But there is still much work that needs to be done. We must take the time during Pride to document our own histories, our struggles that may parallel but vary from those under gay and lesbian narratives. We have lots of time between July 14th-21st to share space and stories, from the trans* picnic to the alternative queer music night. Let us be proud of who we are and most of all, have fun! written by Taylor Stocks
Transgender Flag Photo credit: Torbak Hopper (Wikimedia)
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CELEBRATING PRIDE PROVINCE WIDE Pride celebrations are being organized in communities across Newfoundland and Labrador, including Corner Brook and Happy Valley-Goose Bay. Western Pride NL
Safe Alliance Happy Valley-Goose Bay Pride Celebrations
Jason Wells said it was six years ago that Corner Brook held its first annual Pride Parade, the result of a fairly last-minute Facebook event.
by Jacinda Beals “The Safe Alliance in Happy Valley-Goose Bay is excited to present our 5th annual PRIDE CELEBRATIONS set for Sunday, July 20, 2014!” said Jacinda Beals.”We will kick things off with a Pride March at 1 pm. Everyone is asked to meet in the Royal Canadian Legion parking lot (172 Hamilton River Road). We will then march to the Kinsmen Park!” Beals encourages everyone participating in the celebration in Happy Valley-Goose Bay to bring rainbow flags and noise makers. Following the parade, Pride in the Park will continue until 5 pm. This family event offers lots of great music, games and fun prizes. “And of course we will have the BBQ going throughout the afternoon,” Beals added. “To end our day of celebrating, we will have a Pride Social (+18) at McHugh’s Pub that evening starting at 7 pm.!”
Photo credit: Jason Wells
Around 20-30 people showed up and we walked from Old City Hall up to the Majestic Lawn. Since then the festivities have grown slightly bigger each year,” he said. “Last fall, Western Pride NL put off its first week-long Pride celebration, with resounding success in Corner Brook.” Events included a Coffee House, Queer Trivia, Movie Night, a Beach Bonfire, and they even unveiled a gender-neutral washroom at Memorial University of Newfoundland’s Grenfell Campus. Other highlights included a Queer Prom, one of the best parties to ever hit western Newfoundland. The party showcased the drag talents of Wells’ diva half, Irma Gerd, as well as Toronto-based professional Carlotta Carlisle. “The week ended with a Parade through the town, a BBQ in the park, Zumba dancers putting on a workout show, and many, many rainbows,” Wells said. This September, Western Pride NL will be hosting another Pride Week with some new events and some old favourites (Queer Prom is sticking around!) so get excited to come out and party!
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Photo credit: Safe Alliance
Even More to Celebrate Several other communities in the province will be holding Pride events this year. Please check our Facebook page for the latest updates on other Pride celebrations as we receive them.
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THEATRE REVIEW Don’t Dress for Dinner: a mistress, a weekend tryst, and a Cordon Bleu cook. In theatre, a farce is a comedy that aims at entertaining the audience through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant, and thus improbable. Due to its quick paced nature and number of plot twists, a farce also demands the undivided attention of the audience; an element more than welcomed in a culture where distractions regularly abound. While the plot of a farce might be convoluted and incomprehensible, employing deliberate absurdity and overthe-top performances, when all elements fall into place in perfect harmony, the resulting frivolity and laughter go well beyond the words found on the written page. Such was the case with Joint Productions recent staging of “Don’t Dress For Dinner”
that Bernard, thinking his wife will be away, has planned a weekend tryst in their home with his delectable mistress, Suzanne (Renee Dumaresque), and has ordered in a French Cordon Bleu cook, Suzette (Jill Kennedy), to make sure all goes well in the kitchen. What follows is a series of lie-telling, ill advised cover-ups, miscommunications, mistaken identities and double entendres galore. It can be said that the plot of “Don’t Dress For Dinner” is comparable to an episode of “Three’s Company” or “Friends” with two acts: The humor is silly, the plot implausible, and the constant misunderstandings repetitive. People cheat on each other, then lie about it, then trip all over the lies. The material was elevated in this staging due in large part to the rapid pace created by
reminiscent of character actor Wallace Shawn due to the mischievous grin upon his face throughout the play. He provided an hilarious combination of spastic and proper; leaping and scurrying about the stage with his arms gyrating madly one minute and appearing relatively calm the next. Roberts was comparatively restrained as Jacqueline, initially simmering with gentle outrage, giving way to fury as the play progressed. She provided a strong, fearless performance, which effectively anchored the hilarity occurring around her. In the role of put upon best friend Robert, seasoned actor and playwright, Philip Goodridge brought his own unique and stellar comedic stylings to the production, earning strong laughs and applause for some great physical comedy bits, not to mention the deft handling of an
Bernard and Jacqueline, Glenn Gaulton and Sabrina Roberts, were a joy to watch as they both attempted to conceal the fact that they had respective lovers in their home for the weekend. by French playwright Marc Camoletti. Director Ian Campbell assembled an amazing cast for this joyous romp, and the actors’ total enjoyment of their roles and each other was evident every moment they were are on stage. Set in the 1960’s, the play takes place in the renovated French farmhouse belonging to married couple Bernard and Jacqueline (Glenn Gaulton and Sabrina Roberts), located two hours outside of Paris. When Jacqueline finds out their good friend Robert (Philip Goodridge), who just happens to be her lover, is visiting for the weekend, she quickly cancels a planned trip to see her mother. What Jacqueline does not know is 8 The Outport // July 2014
director, Ian Campbell, and his wonderful cast who maniacally threw themselves into the material with great zest and spontaneity. Precision is imperative to a play like “Don’t Dress for Dinner,” where timing has to be perfect for the humour to be carried off. The actors are spot-on under Campbell’s direction, nailing the fast-paced dialogue while unabashedly committing to myriad pitfalls and other assorted shenanigans without misstep. Bernard and Jacqueline, Glenn Gaulton and Sabrina Roberts, were a joy to watch as they both attempted to conceal the fact that they had respective lovers in their home for the weekend. Gaulton’s portrayal of Bernard was playful rather than smug; his antics being
outrageously complicated monologue. He hilariously exuded an air of mortal terror and dread as his character was forced to keep up with the increasingly convoluted machination of Bernard. Renee Dumaresque and Jill Kennedy were also terrific as the two sexy women forced to trade roles in the play. As the voluptuous Suzanne, Dumaresque was adorably undignified and gave every line of dialogue she delivered the sizzle it needed. While Suzette is the surefire comedic role of “Don’t Dress For Dinner,” and did garner the biggest laughs from the audience during this production, it can be said that Kennedy truly did excel in her performance here. Her brisk, matter-of-fact delivery and her knack for
Written by Marc Camoletti Direction by Ian Campbell Production and Set Design Alix Reynolds Costume and Graphic Design Stephen Samson Choreography Timothy Govare and Dave Walsh Produced by Joint Productions Starring Glenn Gaulton, Sabrina Roberts, Philip Goodridge, Jill Kennedy, Renee Dumaresque, and David Hallett Venue Barbara Barrett Theatre, Arts and Culture Centre, St. John’s, NL Played From May 29th to June 1st, 2014
physical comedy was, in fact, reminiscent of film actress Melissa McCarthy. Making the most of the role, Kennedy is convincing as a sober Plain Jane one minute and a rubberlimbed, Cointreau-soaked vamp the next. She even joined Goodridge in a killer tango at the beginning of the second act. With help from costume designer, Stephen Samson, Kennedy also had a memorable on stage costume change during the show where the maid’s uniform Suzette has donned for dinner is instantly transformed by Robert and Bernard into a chic cocktail dress. It’s easily the production’s best sight gag, one that allows Kennedy to play a caricature of a high-society French lady as she becomes increasingly looped on liquor. Rounding out the uniformly great cast was David Hallett in the small role of Suzette’s husband George. He provided further complications and additional hilarity in the final moments of this play and production. The simple, but remarkably well-crafted, set design by Alix Reynolds effectively captured the feeling of a French countryside escape— a welcomed touch to this presentation. In all, Joint Productions’ staging of “Don’t Dress For Dinner” was an energetic, smart and funny show that thoroughly entertained throughout. Under the guidance of director Ian Campbell, the ensemble’s command of the rapid-fire repartee, racy double entendres, and broad physical comedy of the play was truly a joy to behold. reviewed by Darryl Davis
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1910 1903
FEBRUARY 21
New York police conduct the first United States recorded raid on a gay bathhouse, the Ariston Hotel Baths. 26 men are arrested and 12 brought to trial on sodomy charges; 7 men receive sentences ranging from 4 to 20 years in prison.
The National Socialist German Workers Party bans homosexual groups. Homosexuals are sent to concentration camps.
1926
1924
The first homosexual rights organization in America is founded by Henry Gerber in Chicago: the Society for Human Rights.
NOVEMBER 27 EY MI L K H ARV
1982
2001 1996
The Netherlands becomes the first country in modern times to legalize same-sex marriage.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) publish a report describing an unusual illness among previously healthy gay men. It would later become known as AIDS.
2004
1994
1995
Canada grants refugee status to homosexuals fearing for their well-being in their native country.
Harvey Milk, an American politician who became the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California, is assassinated.
Same-sex marriage is legalized in Newfoundland and Labrador.
JUNE 5
Sexual orientation is added to antidiscrimination legislation in Canada.
The first lesbian wedding on television occurs, held for fictional characters Carol (played by Jane Sibbett) and Susan (played by Jessica Hecht) on the TV show "Friends." 10  The Outport // July 2014
The ban on gay people serving in Canada's military is lifted.
The term AIDS is first used to describe the disease, which until that time had been known by various names, such as "gay cancer".
1978
1981
Triple combination therapy of drugs such as 3TC, AZT and ddC is shown to be effective in treating HIV, the virus responsible for AIDS.
1987
Zidovudine (AZT), a powerful anti-viral drug, is introduced in the fight against HIV.
1933
The New York Times is the first major publication to use the word "homosexuality." Throughout the 1920s, numerous countries around the world decriminalze homosexuality, primarily by making sodomy legal.
American Emma Goldman first begins speaking publicly in favor of homosexual rights. She was described as "the first and only woman, indeed the first and only American, to take up the defense of homosexual love before the general public."
2005 Same-sex marriage becomes federal law in Canada.
1945
Newfoundland and Labrador joins other provinces provinces to explicitly add protections for trans people into their human rights code.
1964
1965
Everett George Klippert, the last person imprisoned in Canada for homosexuality, is arrested for private, consensual sex with men. After being assessed "incurably homosexual," he is sentenced to an indefinite "preventive detention" as a dangerous sexual offender.
Time Magazine describes the bar in The Newfoundland Hotel as one of the most gay-friendly establishments in Canada.
1969
1970S
1946
Canada sees its first gay-positive organization, ASK, and first gay magazines: ASK Newsletter (in Vancouver), and Gay (by Gay Publishing Company of Toronto).
The Netherlands' Center for Culture and Recreation is founded. It is the oldest surviving LGBT organization.
1972
Sweden becomes first country in the world to allow trans people to legally change their sex, and provides free hormone therapy.
A flag-raising campaign to show support for the international LGBT community during Sochi Winter Olympics, started by the Outport Magazine in St. John's spreads across Canada.
2014
1974
St. John's first official gay bar is opened. It is one of the first outside of North America's largest cities.
2013
The 'Out'port publishes its first edition serving the LGBT community in St. John's and across Newfoundland and Labrador.
1972 American schoolteacher Jeanne Manford marches with her gay son, gay rights activist Morty Manford, in New York's Christopher Street Liberation Day march. This was the origin of the straight ally movement and of PFLAG – originally Parents of Gays, then Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, now simply PFLAG.
1978
The rainbow flag is first used as a symbol of homosexual pride.
1938
The word Gay is used for the first time in reference to homosexuality.
Upon the liberation of Nazi concentration camps by Allied forces, those interned for homosexuality are not freed, but required to serve out the full term of their sentences.
EARLY
The term transsexuality is first used. At the time, it referred to homosexuality and bisexuality.
A pink triangle is used to designate homosexual men in Nazi concentration camps for the first time.
1941
1937
The Stonewall riots occur in New York; Paragraph 175 is eased in West Germany; Bill C-150 is passed, decriminalizing homosexuality in Canada. Pierre Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister is quoted as having said: "The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation."
World Pride is held in Toronto.
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LIVING AN AUTHENTIC LIFE and my aunt Heather, who to this day remain my biggest supporters, and they begged and pleaded with me to leave the Jehovah’s Witness organization and live an authentic life. I was convinced of this simple fact: I know in my heart that God doesn’t hate me, but I am 100% positive that he doesn’t want me to take my own life. It took some time to muster up the courage and the strength but on October 1, 2011, I packed up my things and left. And I haven’t looked back since! Life has been so beautiful in only the three short years since I have come out. I have since re-married—a man who adores and supports me. We actually met when I was in the hospital near death’s door as a result of my CF, and his love—I believe, as well as my family believes—is what saved my life. I thank God every day that I found him! I don’t look back—I’m not going that way! My only regret, and I try to live my life without regrets, is that I hadn’t come out sooner! The blessings and dreams that have come to reality since being true to myself and the world are endless.
In a world full of so many people who are eager and ready to tell you how to live your life, coming out as a gay man was, and still is, no easy task. But for me, I had the extra burden of being a Jehovah’s Witness and was married to a woman for 4 years. From a young age I was taught that God hates homosexuals and that anyone who CHOOSES to live that lifestyle would suffer eternal destruction.
From the very young age I knew I was gay. I remember my father taking me and my sisters swimming and I was always so intrigued by the bodies of the men in the locker room. I can assure you that being gay is not a choice. A young innocent child does not choose to have those kinds of thoughts. But then being brainwashed and fed lie after lie that was not even backed up from the Bible, I began to hate myself. I was in a constant internal conflict with myself and who I thought God wanted me to be. So I made the choice to hide and bury who I really was at heart for fear of displeasing God and tried to cover it up by marrying a woman.
Photo: Dreams DO come true! My husband and I with Celine Dion June 10, 2014
On May 31, 2011, I tried to take my own life.
My dream and my wish is that no one has to ever feel ashamed or embarrassed because of who they were born to be. It is my belief that we are all God’s children and he makes no mistakes. You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are! And no one has the right to tell you otherwise!!
The pain just got too intense and I just wanted to die. I confided in my older sister
Peace and Love, Jamie Chafe-Chaulk
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It wasn’t that difficult at first, but as the years passed and my health condition called Cystic Fibrosis became more and more unstable, I began questioning things and searching for something more. I always knew what that something more was, but again the fear of leaving the cult and the harsh discipline that resulted from that held me back.
If you’re reading this article and you are either married to the opposite sex or you are struggling to find the strength and the courage to come out and embrace your true self, please know that you are not alone. Please know that it truly does get better! People say that all the time but it is true, as cliché as it sounds. You can’t even begin to imagine how great your life will be by accepting your path that you were meant to live here on this earth. The fear and anxiety you may be having will all just be a memory when you come out. You too will ask: “Why didn’t I do this sooner?!” Don’t be afraid to stand up in a world where everyone wants you to sit down and blend in with the crowd. I consider being gay a privilege and something that I am indeed very PROUD of!
Take your true colours with you.
155 Water St. 738.8284
Essential gear for the road.
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Bisexuality may be the least well-understood sexual orientation. Misconceptions and outdated assumptions abound both within our LGBT community and society as a whole. It seems as though most people now understand anyone can be attracted to men or to women, but many of us still haven’t figured out exactly what it means and how it works when one is attracted to both. So what do bisexual people want those of us who aren’t to know? The ‘Out’Port magazine interviewed a wide variety of self-identified bisexual people in the province to gain new insight.
The Problem with Labels Many responses indicated that the term “bisexuality” is simply the best option many self-identified bisexual people have to get their identity across to others, but most hint at a richer, more fluid sexuality that isn’t a 50/50 split. “I identify as bisexual only because it’s the only label that somewhat explains my sexuality to other people,” explained one woman. “I actually came out at 14 as a lesbian because, at that point in my life, I was mainly attracted to women , most of my romantic relationship were with women—plus I never really knew or heard the term bisexual until I went to college. I thought there was only gay or straight.” 14 The Outport // July 2014
A young man said he prefers to avoid the labels altogether. “I think that there is little respect for the label bisexual and that it is misunderstood within society and the LGBT community. Many people just think that you have to choose and if you mainly date one then you are automatically gay or straight however no one can tell you how you feel or who you are attracted to,” he said. “I believe that a large majority of people fall in the middle but feel pressure to label themselves and to pick a side. When talking about sexual orientation I will say that I like guys and that I’m a part of the LGBT community—however I find it can be complicated when identifying as bisexual. If I have to use a label, I will say bi, however I tend to only date men—but that does not mean that I am not attracted to women.” Another young woman said identifying as bisexual opens one up to unwanted advances. “Unfortunately, I feel the term bisexual is thrown out there for everything. If a girl kisses a girl, she’s labelled bi. I’m not sure that’s beneficial to someone that’s truly attracted to both sexes,” she said. “I also frequently see/hear about bi guys feeling less acceptance than their female bi
friends. And of course the never ending barrage of threesome requests. For some reason, people assume if I like both genders, I’m easy and will engage with both at once. That is not a sexual orientation judgement, but rather a personal choice and I wish more people would realize that.”
A woman who first realized she was bisexual as a teenager said she was perfectly comfortable with her sexuality, but it was everyone else that had trouble understanding.
One young man said it took a while for the label bisexual to feel right.
“I don’t recall being confused, I came into it very naturally,” she said. “If anything, I got
“Coming to terms with my sexuality was bizarre for me because as I began to acknowledge my attraction to men I began to doubt my attraction to women,” he said. “I thought I must be gay and that I only liked girls because I was told I was supposed to. I transitioned from a doubt of my attraction to men and trying to convince myself I was heterosexual, to doubting my attraction to women and trying to convince myself I was gay. Being bisexual didn’t seem to be an option. I eventually realized it was foolish to try and figure things out logically in my head and I just let things go. I openly adopted the title of bisexual once I felt that it was definitive of who I was.” A bisexual woman who is married to another woman said she’s exhausted trying to explain the labels. “I find it awkward when people say ‘oh so you’re gay’ when learning I am married to a woman. There’s always this part of me that goes back and forth between ‘should I say yes?’ or will saying ‘no actually, I’m bisexual’ just open up an unneeded conversation,” she said. “Sometimes I don’t even know how much it matters any more myself.”
Journeys of Self-Discovery Judging by the responses we received, it’s common for bisexual people to consider themselves heterosexual or homosexual at first, only discovering the added layers of the sexuality when the opportunity to explore them arose. One women, who previously considered herself a lesbian, said she met a wonderful young man, fell in love, got married, and built a life together. But she never lost her sexual attraction to women. “ I started calling myself bisexual. I think that for bisexuality in general, society is more accepting for all the wrong reasons,” she said. “For example, straight men may see it as kind of a turn on or some sort of sexual fantasy,
while straight women may think that everybody has experimented in some point in their lives.”
There needs to be more awareness surrounding the fact that sexual orientation, love and attraction is not black and white and many, many people are in the middle. the impression that other people felt I should be confused. My mother was OK with me being gay, or being straight, but being bisexual was just weird. Sometimes it surprises me that this is even an issue.” Another woman said she lived as a heterosexual for much of her life but started experimenting with her attraction to women as she grew up. “With me, it’s not the sex of the person. I don’t see male or female, I see person,” she said. “There has been some pressure to ‘pick a team’, but that is being unfair to myself as I do not see it that way. Personally, I feel that bisexuality is perceived in society as a status of ‘undecided’.” A young man added, “When I was in my early to mid-teens, I hadn’t had an experience with another male and identified as straight. When
I was in Grade 12, I had a male friend who I fell in love with and we became each other’s first boyfriend. The process of coming to terms with that was mentally exhausting. I eventually had to let go of society’s idea that if I date a guy, I am not attracted to women.” Another young man said it’s often just as confusing for their partners as it is for bisexual people themselves. “It annoys me that bisexuals are said to be “greedy” and that “it must be so easy being able to date anyone” when in reality the number of people who are accepting of bisexuality is low,” he said. “It’s strange having to “come out” to people I’m dating and sometimes break-up because of it. It has also been known to create trust issues within the relationship because my partner feels as if they are in competition with everyone. I have often been told by partners that they are threatened by the opposite sex because they don’t have the same things to offer so they cant compete.”
Coming Out All Over Again One woman said coming out as bisexual is hard because you have to come out to your lesbian and gay friends as well. “I’ve been told to pick a side, that I’m confused,” she said. “I’ve been told bisexuality is a term to straight girls use in order to make out with a friend, that I’m too feminine looking so I must be straight, and that since I’m married to man, I’m no longer bisexual.” She wants the rest of the LGBT community to remember we’re all in this together and we have to support and accept each other. “We are all going through similar struggles, some of us spend our whole lives struggling with our sexuality and some of us know it almost instantly—but we are all of valuable part of the community,” she said. Another young man added, “We are not thought to have the same struggles as the rest of the LGBT community and are often ostracized as a result.” And coming out for the first time, whether bisexual or otherwise, is never easy. “I recently came out to my Mom and one of my sisters,” one woman said. I’ve known that I was not straight ever since I was as young as 4, however there was not an actual thought The Outport // July 2014 15
process about it. I have always been attracted to both men and women growing up. I had crushes on boys in school, and secretly lusted after the women I watched on television. When society discovers one is attracted to both genders there is definite confusion. There is no doubt that being gay in today’s society is not easy. Being bisexual can be viewed as having options to be straight but choosing to lead a more difficult life. For example, I am female and attracted to men and women, so why can I not just be with a man. It is not that way with bisexuality and can be quite challenging to describe.” A young man added, “There needs to be more awareness surrounding the fact that sexual orientation, love and attraction is not black and white and many, many people are in the middle. I think that the labels and categories are dangerous and fuel stereotypes.” Another young woman said she’s pleased with the direction acceptance of bisexuality is heading. “I don’t flaunt my orientation. I do have many gay friends and they’ve always been accepting of who I am and whomever I am with,” she said. Society in general seems to be learning acceptance of all sexual orientations. There will always be nay-sayers. The trick is to keep them outside of your inner sanctum. I feel very peaceful with who I am. I feel strength in my convictions. I hope eventually the norm around sexuality won’t exist at all. After all, who defines normal?” One young man said the most important thing to remember is that the B is there in LGBT for a reason. “When I’m dating a girl—I’m bisexual. When I’m dating a guy—I’m bisexual. That doesn’t change,” he said. “Bisexuals don’t have all of them same struggles as other sexualities in the queer community but we do have struggles and they are just as important to fight against in our activism. We are one of you—accept us.” Another added, “To all the people struggling with recognizing your sexual orientation: Let it go, just let it go and realize that no one can stick you in a category and only you can say what you are and what you are not attracted to. Love and let love!” written by Ryan Crocker
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Happy Pride, kittens! I hope that you all are going to have the best week possible. I’ll be making a few appearances, especially during International Drag Day 2014 at CBTG’s on July 16—it’s going to be a fun one! I s’pose now I have to answer your questions?
Dear Doris:
Dear Doris:
Myself and two friends recently moved into a house. When we first moved in, we all had an agreement that if we bring someone home to, how can I put this lightly, be intimate with, we would be respectful of our roommates and keep the noise level down. It seems like I’ve been the only one following this rule. A few light moans here and there, but nothing horrific. How can I get my roommates to keep the noise level down?
How much wood do you chuck? Dear HMWDYC, I don’t. I take what I can get.
– Hate roommates banging loudly Dear HRMBL, You have two options: put crazy glue in their lube or confront them (if you go with my first suggestion, moaning will be the least of your noise issues). Some people don’t have the option to “host” or be bold to go to the hidden trail at Cuckolds Cove and suffer fly bites on your ass. Your best option is embarrass them. Don’t let them live it down. Make sure that you know what they sound like having sex every moment you can. If they keep doing it, grab your stereo, and blast “What Does The Fox Say?” It’s the worst song in the world, and will kill their mood quickly. I hope this helps!
Dear Doris: My mom seems to be always angry with me. Whenever we go out, we argue. She’s in her 70s and she never listens to me. How can I get her to stop fighting with me and just go to being friends again? – Fed Up Dear “Fed Up”, Two simple words: “You’re Right”
Hope you all have a happy Pride Week! And remember, it doesn’t matter what orientation, gender, race, etc. Pride is for EVERYONE! Go out and enjoy!
Keep reaching for the stars, because you’ll never be one.
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Betty Boo here. Well, Pride Week in St. John’s is upon us once again. It seems like only yesterday I was dancing up a storm in Bannerman Park, but another year has come and gone. I’ll be honest with you, I struggled with this month’s issue, and finding recipes that fully encompassed what it means to be proud and that celebrate LGBTQ Pride. I mean how do you really express pride through food? This years theme is “I Am...” and it definitely strikes a chord with me, as I finally know who I am and what it means to be Betty Boo. I’m proud of the community I belong to and of the person that I’ve become, both on the inside and outside of the make-up. For this issue’s recipes, I decided it was important I kept it classic Betty, things that I love. Cheesecake and Cupcakes, but with a Pride Week twist!
Add sugar and beat until smooth. Beat in eggs, sour cream, and vanilla. Stir in cream until incorporated. Set six unzipped sandwich zip baggies in six small cups. Place ¼ cup of batter in each baggie. Pour remaining batter into another zip baggie—this will remain white.
MINI RAINBOW CHEESECAKES Crust: • 2 Tbsp sugar • 2 Tbsp melted butter • ½ cup graham cracker crumbs
Filling: • 2 8oz. cream cheeses @ room temperature • 2 eggs @ room temperature • 1 tsp. vanilla • ½ cup sugar • ¼ cup cream • ¼ cup sour cream • blue, yellow, red, and purple food coloring
Topping: • 4 oz. sour cream • 1 Tbsp sugar • ¼ tsp. vanilla
Prepare 1 day in advance & refrigerate. Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix crust ingredients together and put in bottom of 12 mini cheesecake pans, or muffin pan. For filling, stir cream cheese until smooth. 18 The Outport // July 2014
Mix batter with food coloring to produce a baggie for the colors: blue, green, yellow, orange, red, and purple. Start with one or two drops of color and gently mix. Add more coloring if necessary and zip up the tops. Start with white batter baggie. Cut about 1/8 inch off one of the corners of the baggie and “pipe” in enough to just cover the crust of each individual cup in the pan. Next, cut 1/8 inch off the green, and pipe a swirl of in each cup. Then pipe with white again. Continue alternating until you’ve used all the colors. Leave enough white left for final layer on top. Place mini cheesecake pan in plastic roasting bag, leaving the top wide open. Place in a large roasting pan and pour in very hot water to reach half way up the pan sides, being careful not to splash water onto cheesecakes. Bake at 350°F for about 35 minutes or until center is set. Remove from oven and pour topping mixture on top and smooth out. Return cheesecake to oven for another 5-10 minutes. When you take the pan out of the oven, run a knife around the edge of each cheesecake to release it from the sides. Let cool. Refrigerate overnight. Remove from pan and add garnish of 1 cup of fresh berries. ♥
AMAZING RAINBOW CUPCAKES Cupcakes:
• 1 box white cake mix
• 3 egg whites
• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1 cup water
• 1 small box sugar free/fat free instant vanilla
• Wilton gel food colors in Lemon Yellow, Kelly
pudding mix Green, Royal Blue and Violet, as well as Red liquid food coloring – or any you wish to use
• Rainbow Frosting (recipe follows)
• Rainbow sprinkles
Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 1 muffin pan with paper liners, set aside. Note: this recipe, because of the manipulation of the batter, generally yields about 12 cupcakes. In a large bowl, beat together cake mix, egg whites, applesauce, and water until combined, about 2 minutes. Stir in vanilla pudding mix until blended. Evenly divide batter among five separate bowls.
...I see your true colors and that’s why I love you so don’t be afraid to let them show your true colors. True colors are beautiful, like a rainbow.
Color each bowl of batter a different color, using your gel food colorings. For the gel colors, I generally use about the tip of a butter knife’s worth of coloring. Tint each color to your desired shade and set aside.
Amazing Rainbow Frosting
• 2/3 cup butter, softened
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2-3 tsp milk
• About 5 cups powdered sugar
• Wilton food gel colors in Lemon Yellow,
Now begin spooning your batter into your muffin cups one color at a time. Start with a small teaspoon of purple batter and drop it into the bottom of the liner, spreading to cover the bottom if necessary. Top with a spoonful of blue, then a spoonful of green, then a spoonful of yellow, then a spoonful of red for last.*The key here is to LAYER the colored batter without swirling. It’s okay if the bottom colors peek through; it’ll make for a nice kaleidoscopic effect once it’s done :)
For frosting, in the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together butter and vanilla extract until creamy, about 2 minutes. Gradually add powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition, until a paste forms. Add milk one teaspoon at a time until a nice, soft but spreadable consistency is reached. Divide your frosting evenly among three small bowls.
Once your cupcake liners are filled, bake for approx. 15-18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Set aside to cool completely.
Tint each bowl a different color, as with the cake batter. Make one bowl a bright teal, another a hot pink, and the last, a nice and bright yellow.
Teal and Pink
Prep you frosting bag with your favorite tip (I use an open star tip). Begin spooning frosting into your piping bag, alternating colors side by side until your bag is full (e.g., start with blue, then add pink, then yellow, trying to smash them all together–doesn’t have to look perfect, just make sure you alternate the colors so they touch together). Pipe your frosting onto cooled cupcakes*. Top with rainbow sprinkles. While these may look hard, they’re incredibly easy to make, if not a little labour intensive. No worries–they’re worth the work because they’re so uniquely beautiful and totally amazing. ♥
* When you first pipe your frosting, it may be a solid color (of the first color you put in the bag). Once you keep piping, the other colors will appear and create the rainbow effect you want.
Happy Pride Week St. John’s!
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