Outsider gender issue
Masculinity
Uyinkwenkwe into oyiyo
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Photography by Amos Ragophala Illustrated by SiyaTroy
Nii BOTCHWAY
Photog raphy by Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
Photog raphy by Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
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Photog raphy by Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
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Photog raphy by Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
Nehemiah describes his brand as male fashion but his designs are gender fluid because they always incorporate feminine elements. Androgyny is pushed to the max. To me masculinity is identifying as a male. Masculinity to me isn’t necessarily a beard, a bulky body and a deep voice. Masculinity could be traits we adopt in society. He see’s himself as very untrained, he’s hungry to learn more and is also pushing boundaries. He see’s himself in the design space as a newcomer, someone who is trying to have a voice. Nehemiah challenges masculinity through his designs. He always tries to push male fashion forward because he see’s male fashion as something that is in one position.Also challenges male fashion by incorporating feminine designs in male fashion. He wants to change people’s perspective on what masculinity is.
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Photography by Okuhle Dyosopu
UN GOVERNED Confidence has never looked this good. Lusi on the shoot never backed down nor felt uncomfortable with all the eyes watching. He did confess that he was never that confident when he was young and that one day he decided to just get up and be himself and he has never looked back. By SiyaTroy
LUSINDISO MAHOTE IS A SON, AN ADVOCATE, A WRITER AND A GENDERLESS EXPERIENCE
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Photography by Okuhle Dyosopu
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Photography by Okuhle Dyosopu
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!
Earlier this year I made acquaintance with a man who opened my eyes to a sordid and corrupt version of sex. The way he painted sex made me think of a beat down double bunk bed in prison, with deteriorating legs, and springs poking out a mattress poking the back of an inmate; who is getting sexually assaulted vigorously by a vicious and foreign object. The act only serving as an exercise of power, where only one being experiences pleasure. This man’s idea and conceptualisation of sex had no flare, fireworks, or even a hint of pleasure. Sex, in his words, “is a competition between man and woman. As the man I need to win.” This had me thinking and reawakened my favourite question that to this day is barely answered adequately. What makes bad sex bad? My question was posed to people from different walks of life and led me to various warped and violently dangerous ideas about sex. Often at times people get too consumed as to who does what and forget to actually enjoy the spiritual experience that is sex. Yes sex is a spiritual experience: two beings meet and decide to explore each other’s bodies in order to deliver pleasurable sensations to each other. This act requires some level of trust (not the condom), comfort and a willingness to learn your partner’s body. To learn ways to please and be pleased, for the body is a minefield of pleasure spots and it deserves to be explored. Explored with intricacy and a sensuality that can rival the smoothest of motions. Whether you explore it yourself or you decide to surrender yourself and your body to another being, the spiritual aspect still exists due to the willingness to connect with the most primal of human desire; the desired for pleasure and satisfaction. If you are reading this and thinking, “WTF?” Please do consider the fact that the reason you may oppose the notion of sex as a spiritual act, is caused by the notion in which you view sex as an exercise of power
If you are reading this and thinking, “WTF?” Please do consider the fact that the reason you may oppose the notion of sex as a spiritual act, is caused by the notion in which you view sex as an exercise of power and the power is exercised when one party of the sexual act, feels that their pleasure means more in than that of the other party, who is involved. This is where the concept of STIs (Spiritually Transmuted Infection) arises This is an easy concept to understand once you realise that, as human beings we carry with us different energies and once you get surrounded by negative energy, that energy can easily be transferred to you and that becomes a part of you until you cleanse yourself spiritually. And sexually the euphoria one gets from climaxing, emits positive and good vibrations and energies between two beings; thus why the notion of “after sex glow”. Now if as a woman you haven’t received the Bambi syndrome with the guy/girl you are with sexually, know that, that person has yet to explore your body or may not want to. Guys, if you haven’t cussed and converted to an orthodox man of whichever religion of your choice; you know that somewhere somehow that the guy or girl who is with you is either slacking or not motivated to please you. So, equally both parties have got to put their backs into it and do the right thing. Make it steamy, make it sticky and make it wet. Explore each other; explore using every touch, every kiss, and even every gaze. More importantly explore yourself. Don’t shy away from the concept of self-love; the most important relationship you’ll have in life is with yourself and If you cannot at any level please yourself, don’t expect to know how to be pleased and please others. Be selfish with yourself, explore your own body know where you like being touched the most. So, when it comes down to the deed you know how to direct the scene without disrupting the atmosphere and not randomly asking for a glass of wine during the act.
by Lusindiso Mahote
Femininity.
Written by: Okuhle Dyosopu
Girl Talk with Asanda Mali pg3
It’s A Man’s World But My Terms! pg8 Shades of Coloured pg12 Dark girl’s magic pg14 Virgin Activated pg16
their own unique perspective and understanding of things this in fact proves that there are impossibilities of every young girl accomplishing the processed cultural standards of intombazana. Yes it Is the twenty first century women have been given a lot of opportunities then before but the curse of intombi is that yes you’re entitled toeducation and independence but never forget ‘Uyitombazana into oyiyo.’’ As a young emerging women you’re bound to your femininity it’s an aspect of your identity that will constantly enslave you until your last day on earth. I myself see me as a human being before anything else but when I step outside my bubble I am a black female and I carry that every day like a I carry my back pack filled with historical covenants made and decided on my feminine identity. The words ‘’Uytombazana into oyiyo’’ would be recited by our mothers and their mothers like it was an automatic trigger that would make you instantaneously know and understand your place as a young girl you’d be in trouble if you challenged that.
EDITOR’S NOTE
The words ‘’Uyitombazana into oyiyo’’ would be recited by our mothers and their mothers like it was an automatic trigger that would make you instantaneously know and understand your place as a young girl you’d be in trouble if you challenged that. Now culturally we can’t have a conversation on womanhood without understanding the given duties and place of the men ‘’amadoda.’’ Men have inherited their place above us since the beginning but when things started to scrabble and Africa was no longer Africa a man’s place was handed to them they didn’t have to earn it anymore on the basis that ndiytombazana into ndiyio. I grew up in an urban area and unlike the rural spaces everyone had duties to ensure the circle of living ran smoothly women where in the kitchen men where out in the wild doing manly things (whatever that means) but in the urban areas women wake up to the kitchen but have to rush to work and men just wake up and go to work a terrible imbalance I admit and a rather strange ironic predicament the urban women today are empowered with the badge of provider and financial dependence but disarmed when the go home to still have to cook and clean amongst all their outside duties because above all singamatombazana into esiyiyo. The trip to womanhood is a trip obtained through the price of wedding a man even if it’s the wrong man the price paid through tolerance as a woman the more you tolerant the more woman you are for me the trip of womanhood is strangely condition by rules and standards I hadn’t even participated or contributed to there for if it means being less of intombi means choosing the woman I want to be unfortunately it’s a loss I have to take the great Lauryn Hill would say ‘’you might win one but you just loss one’’ there is no winning for women in this world yet.
Written by: Okuhle Dyosopu
s
o its exactly 6:37 pm on a Thursday night and I log on my Facebook now I am not much of a Facebook person but there are moments of light I tend to stubble on and half of those moments are with Asanda Mali founder of Malstone a successful fashion designer in Port Elizabeth who makes cloths for ‘real women and all women’. Her Facebook timeline page is coloured with controversial video I’d like to call ‘’real girl talks’’ raw uncut conversations specifically related to black women issues, she proclaims to be all about women and aims to bridge the evident imbalances societies creates towards women. She believes that women are not as favoured as men are because of women’s differences but it is those differences that makes women powerful contributors of communities. She expresses her frustrations while finding resolutions to women issues through her ability to make cloths that are the pulse of current African style, she proclaims that with fashion she can do anything.
Inclusivity is her fashion line’s mission a word that the fashion industry has avoided. She believes that every women deserves to be beautiful when she thinks about black beauty in a deeper context black African women is what comes to mind she believes black women are the colour of the world they are the meaning of ‘Ubuntu’ But this notion is threaten by the west she believe the west to be problematic whatever the west decides to good is what the world follows excluding ethnicity and physical identity African people because not everyone is from the west and not everyone can relate to the west. The fashion industry needs to cater for everyone and make black African beauty matter.
Girl talk with Asanda Mali Written by: Okuhle Dyosopu
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Illustration by: Siya Troy Photography by: Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
Illustration by: Okuhle Dyosopu
photography by: Amos Ragophala, Khangelani Kota & Thembie Buthelezi’ Thembi
Thuli Jawa is a fashion design student who epresses her voice through fashionwhen asked why, she immediately said that clothes communicate best how she feels. She further added, ‘Growing up I didn’t know stores like Edgars and Woolworths. My father used to take us to Newton Park and buy clothes for us there and the price range was like R5 to R20.” The experience broadened her fashion mind because she knew how to mix and match from such a young age. She is forever grateful for the experience it made her gain her individual voice, a voice she expresses herself in. When asked about being a woman she said that she loves being a woman and also loves expressing herself that way but she doesn’t box herself to gender norms her gender is boundless.
Written by: Siya Troy
She also mentioned that she wants people to see, that yes she is a woman but she is more then that she just doesn’t want to be labelled as just a woman. Sisterhood in Port Elizabeth is nowhere to be found in Thuli’s opinion in a sense that women don’t have each other’s backs. She mentioned that she was looking for mentors and to her realization later she noticed that her mentors were male because it was a lot easier finding male mentors then women. That made her question why women weren’t stretching their arms and offering some sort of community for each other. Thuli does not only see fashion in her future but also sees herself mentoring other young females like her. She said reason for that is because she wants to uplift the community and also wants to help the young Thuli’s who are still trying to make it in life.
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Photography by: Okuhle Dyosopu
Photography by: Okuhle Dyosopu
Photography by: Okuhle Dyosopu
It’s much more frustrating for me when I see our young women not having direction or any identity and not see their value, the value in their caramel brown skin. The golden brown shimmer that so wonderfully dresses their body goes unnoticed and unappreciated. Our women in our communities do not see their worth because of the patriarchy that is such an epidemic within households. Our men are raised on principles that they are entitled to our bodies, hearts and minds. As soon as they are able to they take and discard of it as they need to. Our young men are raised to believe that is the way it has been for years and so it must continue because it has always “worked”. You look and once you have found what you wanted, you can have it and if you get refused or rejected, you apply force. Become more aggressive in approach because obviously your female interest is playing hard to get and she is just being cheeky. Because we all know that “coloured” women are born with stank attitudes. This then makes us believe that we need to behave, let go a bit, allow some disrespect because it shows that we are “chilled” and approachable. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying all fault lies with men and I am definitely not apologizing for any misogynistic behaviour. I do not know the resolution to these societal ills. Perhaps letting go of labels attached to us that none of us really participated in designing in the beginning and create a new identity can be a start. Perhaps?
Written by: Grace Kelly
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shades of coloured
The label I cannot accept. It’s not an issue of not being proud of who I am or how I was raised but it’s the notion of being aware what this label has meant and why it was forced on a group of people of colour in this country. A group that had “no” place on the “race scale”. Not dark enough to be black and not light enough to be white. This label has always been a difficult issue for me, always told you’re not enough to fit in anywhere but the “northern areas”. I guess what I did and do not want is the connotation of confusion. Many in our “coloured’ communities frequently label their own as confused, people who do not know who they are, people who do not have traditions and customs, even people who do not have a “native tongue”.
Illustration by: Siya Troy Photography by: Amos Ragophala
Colour-ism in the black community is an epidemic because most black women don’t know that beauty is skin deep and colour is gorgeous. as India Arie once sang ‘’you are not your hair you are not your skin you are actually the soul that lives within.’’
Photography by: Amos Ragophala & Khangelani Kota
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Photography by: Amos Ragophala
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Let’s talk about the Virgin Mary a religious figure we were taught to look up to the perfect example of how a young girl should be. There are really two reason why a lot of women who abstain would abstain for me in the beginning it was religion specifically the verse Deuteronomy 22:20-21 which states ‘’that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death.’’ Now growing up in a heavily church cultured household that shit got to me I truly believed it, and it scared my pussy chastity tight. The second reason is that like most women we tend to be insecure about our physical beauty which is based on the standardized image of how beauty looks like through media culture and society perception most women tend to not fit in later concluding that their unique beauty doesn’t count therefore who would want to be intimate with me and find me sexy? Now you would think these ideologies would build a rather pure virgin activated community specifically in the black community but it works in reverse rather young black girls today are pregnant prematurely and out of wedlock by men who are assholes now my question is how do young girls who are heavily churched up and girls who think they’ll never be sexy enough to get a man to lay with, all fall prematurely pregnant? Well here are some theories when you have convinced yourself that you are not beautiful or worth any attention from men because of your physical looks you a magnet to the wrong guy because you will fall in love and in desire for the first man that tells you how beautiful you are and because he is the only guy who noticed you, you think he is the best thing ever but actually there are men who find their masculinity worth through the submission of insecure girls and most girls will submit especially if they tend to be the damsel in distress awaiting for prince charming and design their world around these ‘princes’. Now a lot of the time those relationships are toxic and emotionally unstable eventually it leads to pregnancy and absent fathers because men who prey on insecure girls for masculinity validation aren’t men at all so it’s impossible for them to be fathers because you need to be a man to be a father. Then you have the girl who abstain due to religious reasons. Don’t get me wrong there is worth in saving yourself for your true love who you want to spend the rest of your life with but there are guys who will masquerade themselves as your true love that want to spend the rest of their lives with you. So you start to compromise your abstinence chastity because you’re convinced that eventually you’ll get married to him but because a majority of black girls have never really been exposed to contraception control because having a conversation of contraception contradicts the advocacy of abstinence. Girl falls in love passion grows and babies are produced the passion evaporates and reality kicks in. It is unrealistic to begin to raise another identity when you never had a chance to raise your own. Sex from what my mother told me is men only wanting me for my body and looks and that leads to me falling pregnant. But we can’t trip and fall pregnant it’s a choice and all women have a choice to be pleasured by the love her life for a night or the love of her life for the rest of her days the mistake is allowing sex to be a payment for a man’s love because there is no pleasure in that. Motives is the word of the day what does sex mean to you for most girls it has the wrong meaning and that meaning doesn’t favour the sensual identity of a young woman.
Written by: Okuhle Dyosopu
Outsider gender issue
Femininity
Uyintombazana into oyiyo
00226 August 2016