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Volume I, Issue XXI
Inside News.....................1,3 Feature.............2 Health......................8 Opinion.........6,7 Entertainment....9,10 Sports.......11,12
Entertainment: Page 14
Fashion by Jose Calderon Feature: Page 2C
How To: Find Max Pleasure
Health: Page 22
Pace University, Pleasantville/Briarcliff Manor, NY
www.PaceChronicle.net
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Senior Class Will Not Walk in May Online glitch causes credit problems
Samantha Finch
News Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
A glitch in Pace’s online Banner system will leave the senior class of 2012 fighting for the right to graduate. The accidental miscalculation of the number of credits needed to graduate, according to New York state, has left 12 to 45 credits missing from the graduate major/ minor sheets filled by each senior student at Pace. As of 2002, New York State, pending on the major of the student, requires a minimum of 162 credits to graduate. The error was discovered by junior Kristy Bara who began working on her schedule for her fall semester, noticed that her older sister’s, senior Lynn Bara, graduation sheet required 24 course credits less than hers despite being the same major. “I was planning my courses for my senior year and while looking at my sister’s sheet I noticed that our sheets for graduation had a different number of required credits. Additionally several required courses on my sheet failed to appear on hers,” said junior zoology student Kristy Bara. “I thought it was strange and called my advisor the next day.”
After extensive research it was discovered by the Faculty in Charge of Credits (FICC) committee that the Pace online credit calculator failed to include several required courses in each major offered at Pace. “After the difference in credits between the two [Bara sisters] was brought to the attention of the committee, we reviewed all the graduation sheets on record in the University database. After many long nights we found that the seniors class of 2012 were given a sheet with an inaccurate number of credits and courses listed. On behalf of the FICC committee I would like to apologize for this mistake,” said Jackson Murrow, head of the FICC. Due to this mistake in the system the students of 2012 cannot technically “graduate” under New York State law since the number of credits required to graduate in New York have not been completed. Since the commencement ceremony has already been completely planned with millions of dollars invested, seniors will still be able to walk across the stage for graduation. However, the will not receive a diploma. “The mistake of Pace Univer-
Continued on Page 3 “Senior Class Not Graduating on Time”
Photo by Samantha Finch/The Pace Chronicle Seniors will not be able to graduate on time due to an online glitch on the Pace system.
Dyson Hall Condemned as a Biohazard Last Weekend
SDCA Lifts Sanctions for All SA Organizations John Ciroc
Featured Reporter PaceChronicle@pace.edu
Study: Apples Are Bad
News: page 3 Photo by Samantha Finch/The Pace Chronicle Dyson Hall of Science has condemned during the weekend by Mount Pleasant Police and Fire Departments. All was considered safe as of Monday morning.
Pace Professor Jailed
CLASSIFIEDS: Page 12B
Upon entering Dyson Hall, EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZE several firefighters collapsed, acFeatured Reporter cording to The Journal News. PaceChronicle@pace.edu A second team of firefightThe Mount Pleasant police ers were sent in with gas masks and fire departments were called to find people who might have to the Dyson Hall of Science to in- been left behind in the building. vestigate a pulled fire alarm lead- The Mt. Pleasant Fire Department ing to the evacuation of Costello, pulled three students from the Marks, and Willcox halls as a pre- building and one professor. The police have yet to release cautionary measure, last Friday. Those evacuated were either the name of the students, but have sent home or back to their dorms, released the name of the profesand classes were canceled for the sor, as Dr. David Rahni. After the building was cleared rest of the day for both Willcox the emergency hazmat team was and Dyson Halls.
called in to contain the building. The department of health was also asked to analyze what had been released into the air. Entrance one remained under quarantine for the remainder of Friday and late into Saturday evening. Pace issued a press release with the details of the incident. On Friday, Dr. Rahni was in his research lab and miscalculated the amount and the type product of a reaction. Upon mix-
Continued on Page 3 “Dyson Hall Quarantined’”
Student Development and Campus Activities (SDCA) has decided to relinquish all sanctions that student organizations had on file for the rest of the academic year, ranging from fines, restrictions to filing budget requests, and room reservations. The move came after it was voiced during last Friday’s Student Association (SA) meeting that if Pace wants to enhance “student development” that fining or issuing other penalties onto the student-run organizations is actually a step back. Sophomore German studies student and senator of Freedom through Knowledge Paula Rosario said, “I simply find it ironic that [SDCA] wants us to succeed yet one minor blip and there’s fines left and right. We are broke college students, and paying $20 is basically half my pay as a student assistant at the Financial Aid office.”
Continued on Page 3 “Sanctions Lifted for SA Organizations’”
Follow The&Pace Chronicle onApril Twitter: @PaceChronicle *In Honor of Creative Writing Humor, this is the Fools Edition! All Stories are fabricated!*
Health
Feature
The Pace Chronicle
Page 2
Flex Dollars Available at Paulie’s Ali Silver
Feature Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
Move over Lucio’s and Jerry’s Pizzeria, Flex Dollars are now accepted at a bar near you! Last semester, Pace instituted the Flex Plan program on students’ One Cards, which is extra money they can use at outside vendors. In the past, these vendors were primarily food locations - more specifically, pizza places and deli’s. Now, these dollars are accepted at Paulie’s Bar on Marble, Michaels’ Tavern, and Foleys. Yes, this means Pace is now covering one dollar beer nights, fishbowls, and all the shots your Flex money can buy. “Let’s be real, I have used my Flex Dollars once on food, I do have a meal plan and can cook,” said senior marketing student William Stein. “It is my senior year, I would much rather have
extra money to go out.” After a poll done on students, administration took note that a majority of money spent was not at the designated locations where Flex Dollars were accepted, but at bars. Stein is not the only student who feels this way. “I have tried and tried for years to get an on-campus job, and clearly failed,” said junior biology student Patricia Dang. “As Photo by Ali Silver/The Pace Chronicle a student with no income, I love Pace Flex Dollars will be available for students to utilize that I can now use my One Card starting April 1 on a trial basis. at Paulie’s and Michaels. Heck, I can even sit with the old crowd at it, into the Flex program, students rising of tuition, the least we can Foleys!” will save a lot more money in the do is provide free money where Dang may have put it best, long run. it will be used and prevent those hinting at the fact that it is col“Although it may seem like who are 21 and about to graduate lege; you cannot stop students it, this is not Pace’s way of pro- from digging a deeper whole in from drinking. moting the consumption of alco- their pockets. Honestly, more colRegardless of what some hol,” said Campus Administrator leges should have this program.” might think Pace takes a strong of Drugs and Alcohol Dominick Pace’s new bar Flex Dollar stand on preventing students Lopez. “Pace has strict drug and plan is will begin on a trial basis from going into debt. Therefore, alcohol guidelines students must starting April 1. If successful, the they believe by involving bars, or follow, but off campus, they do bars will be officially added this weekend destinations as they call as they please. Due to constant upcoming fall 2012 semester.
Genovian Educator Takes Over Pace Ali Silver
Feature Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
New York State has experienced its lowest college graduation rates the past several years. Governor Andrew Cuomo has hired a team of specialized professional educators to set students on the right path. “I sat down with professors from various colleges and they all had one mutual, overall perception; students are unmotivated and they have a lack of respect for our educational system,” said Cuomo. Cuomo took a private trip around the globe to observe other country’s universities to see where New York has suddenly gone wrong. “I am proud to announce that the educators, who agreed to come to the United States and wake up our students, are highly trained and the exact reason for the high numbers of college graduates going on to pursue careers,” said Cuomo. “I have selected a number of colleges who will attain an educator. If successful, the program will only grow from there.” Pace is proud to welcome
Photo by Vicky Zambrano Princess Mal de Mauvaise of Genovia already proposing radical changes for the campus. Princess Mal de Mauvaise of Genovia, who, for the time being, will be considered a higherranked version of Dean for Students Lisa Bardill-Moscaritolo. “I believe the tertiary level of education has serious flaws and it is in my greatest hopes to remedy these imperfections at Pace University,” said Mauvaise. Mauvaise has pinpointed certain areas and items she believes need the most improvement. To start, social gatherings will only be permitted if the sponsors in questions obtained permits
from security three weeks prior to the event, stating the estimated number of attendees and the reason for the event. Secondly, Mauvaise is changing the drug and alcohol policy. “Students caught participating in illegal activities [underage drinking or breaking smoking regulations] will be confined to their rooms under house arrest for 30 days,” said Mauvaise. “They will be forced to attend class wearing shock collars and ankle bracelets, monitoring their activities and interactions until the probationary period is complete.” Mauvaise claims that in Genovia, this forces students to abide by campus rules and regulations and also promotes a safe environment. To further tick off the students, as of fall 2012 all classes will be separated by gender in order to remove any distractions from the opposite sex. Furthermore, the Pleasantville campus will only be home to male students while Briarcliff will be strictly female, ultimately canceling plans of the Master Plan which would’ve closed the Briarcliff campus. “The only interactions tolerated will be in the library, cafeteria, and gym, and students will be forbidden to touch each other during such time,” said Mauvaise.
Students will also be responsible for maintaining and sanitizing their own restrooms and residence halls. A final rule for students takes note to the dress code. From now on, Uggs and flip-flops worn with socks will be banned from campus and other adequate footwear will be handed out. Mauvaise is not only targeting the students, but the professors as well. “Professors will be required to post grades no later than five days after giving examinations, otherwise students will receive automatic A’s,” said Mauvaise. “This will encourage teachers to spend more time grading papers, as their lives should be dedicated to educating and improving the student body as well as dissuade lengthy or last minute assignments.” Although she understands Americans may not be used to the hard times to come, Mauvaise has offered an incentive to work harder: Students who comply with her rules will receive one year of free tuition; professors will receive a bonus on their salary. “I understand most Americans will not be accustomed to these rules, but they’re official, so they must be followed.”
COMING SOON ON YOUR PACE TV
The Pace Chronicle News Network On channel 53, replacing MTV! *Enjoy the April Fools Edition! All Stories are fabricated & for entertainment purposes!*
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The Pace Chronicle Editorial Staff Miguel Jose O’leaga Editor-in-Chief
PaceChronicle@pace.edu Rose Fava Managing Editor
Tafasha Pitt Layout Editor
Erika Bellido Web Editor
Adam Samson Photography Editor
Kelly Povero Copy Editor
Mark Robertson Copy Editor
Samantha Finch News Editor
Ali Silver Feature Editor
Colby Hochmuth Delis DeLeon Entertainment Editor Health Editor Martin Totland Opinion Editor
Gabrielle Davina Columnist Editor
Susana Verdugo-Del Real Sports Editor
Operational Staff Sungi Clark Business Manager Shiga Sunny Circulation Melissa Recine Alumni Advisor Prof. Michael Perrota Faculty Advisor
Featured Reporters Ezio Auditore DA Firenze John Ciroc Melissa Marine Timothy Doyle
Columnists Ebony Turner Richard Dover
Contributors
Angelina Bassano ABassano@Pace.edu
The Pace Chronicle is published by Trumbull Printing: (203) 261-2548 Written and edited by the students of Pace University, The Pace Chronicle is published weekly during the academic year. Opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of administration, faculty and The Pace Chronicle staff. The Pace Chronicle encourages responses to the opinions expressed herein, and welcomes letters and comments. The Pace Chronicle cannot guarantee publication of letters to the editor or unsolicited manuscripts, and reserves the right to edit or comment editorially on them. Appearance of an advertisement in The Pace Chronicle does not imply endorsements by the members of the editorial board, the advisor, or Pace University of the products or services offered. All photos and copyrights reserved unless otherwise indicated. Subscription and advertising rates available upon request.
The Pace Chronicle, Pace University 861 Bedford Road, Pleasantville, N.Y. 10570 Phone: (914) 773-3401 PaceChronicle@pace.edu www.PaceChronicle.net
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meetings every Monday, 9 p.m. 3rd floor of Willcox Hall. Open to all students!
Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 3
What’s Making News Beyond Campus? Samantha Finch News Editor
Sanctions lifted for SA Organizations ...continued from page 1
Samantha.Finch@pace.edu
WASHINGTON D.C President Obama has announced that he will be paying sculptors millions of dollars in government money to have his face carved into Mt. Rushmore. The project is expected to begin next week and will require two years of consistent labor. Obama states his reason for adding his face is to create jobs. He will be accepting applications to work on the addition to the monument calling it an “important slice of history.” NEW YORK - After years of research, the scientists at New York University have discovered a new galaxy only one million light-years away from planet Earth. The galaxy, that has since been named the “Snickers Galaxy,” has been determined to have a similar shape size and density of the galaxy as the Milky Way Galaxy. Scientists also state that static radio reception has recorded “talking” from the area. After determining the distance scientists decided to send a robot to explore the immediate area of the galaxy. COLOMBIA - After the deaths of several Colombian citizens during the past few months, toxicology reports showed high levels of caffeine in each of the victims. The caffeine levels have been determined to be life threating. Additionally, the reports show abnormal levels of heroine. After extensive research it was found that over 30 million coffee cans from the most popular company in the country, LALA, have been contaminated while in storage in a company warehouse. Due to the deaths the government made an executive discussion to burn the cans of coffee, close down LALA, and ban the drink from border to border. This decision has left many countries that cannot grow the vital beans angrythreating to sue.
The sanctions, issued by SA or SDCA, can stem from not submitting rosters, the organization’s constitution, missing an SA meeting, and not attending mandatory events such as the Leadership Retreat and Preview Weekend, to name a few. Junior history student Alex Tordera believes issuing such penalties can be a good thing. “It tells students that you screwed up at something, now better yourselves on it. Things can get hectic in the real world outside Pace,” said Tordera. SDCA’s Executive Associate Assistant Director Nicholas Livpenter commented that the decision to lift all sanctions on all student organizations wasn’t easy as the original intent was to teach students responsibilities in management. “The decision [to waive all sanctions] went through careful
consideration, but Rosario made a good point at the SA meeting,” said Livpenter. “We want students to succeed, especially in managing these student organizations, but issuing restrictions on them just because they didn’t meet, for example, Preview Weekend requirements even though they have done other great services for the Pace community may have been too much. A lot of students simply want to have a good time while in their organizations, and issuing or implementing all these rules and penalties may attract students away from being involved on campus.” Livpenter added that if a student organization has any difficulties about anything, they’re invited to come into the SDCA office and meet with someone to better those difficulties.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
News
Dyson Hall Quarantined ...continued from page 1
ing the chemicals they reacted to form the toxic gas Phosgene. In an attempt to leave the research lab, he knocked over the remaining reactants creating more toxic gas. He had enough time to run and pulled the fire alarm before he collapsed unconscious. The students went to leave the building, but walked past the research lab and collapsed from inhalation of the gas. The students and firefighters were taken to Phelps Memorial Hospital and released on Saturday after de-contamination. While Dr. Rahni was kept until Monday to make sure that there were no residual side effects from the exposure, the decision to transfer him to the naval hospital in Bethesda, Maryland’s special ward for chemical detoxification was made. Entrance one was re-opened on Sunday along with Costello, Marks, and Willcox halls on time for Preview Weekend. Dyson remained closed until Monday morning for total decontamination. This was the worst chemical release experienced at Pace. The only other incident took place in 1984 when a biology professor was working late and accidentally poured Tabun into the water and down the drain. All of
the research animals were killed from the toxins and Pace had to quarantine Choate Pond for decontamination. After this most recent chemical incident, The Journal News has reported that the Westchester County Department of Health is persuading Pace to end science majors at Pace so this incident won’t happen again. The University has made no comment to this report but stated that it is keeping the safety and well-being of the students and staff as its first priority. If this was true Pace, would ultimately lose over 20 percent of its student population on the Pleasantville campus. This is because the majority of majors at the Pleasantville campus must take chemistry, biology, or physics. This would be devastating for the Pace community and most likely increase tuition costs because of the loss of students. Although Pace has yet to comment students are uneasy with this uncertainty. To make sure that something like this doesn’t happen again, the University has hired another lab safety inspector to examine the facilities and to watch all of the labs that happen in Dyson Hall.
Gino the Puppet Granted Professor Position
Photo by Samantha Finch/The Pace Chronicle Renowned puppet Gino was offered an adjunct professorial position for the Dyson College of Arts and Sciences. Melissa Marine
Featured Reporter PaceChronicle@pace.edu
Dyson College of Arts and Sciences has granted Gino, a puppet and famous companion of Professor Howard Weishaus, an adjunct professor position. Gino’s professorial debut will be next fall semester teach-
ing two courses for the political science and history department, World War II Politics from an American Perspective and Introduction to the History of Italian Puppetry, respectively. “On behalf of Pace, it is an honor to have him on board with Dyson College and the Economic, History, and Political Science De-
partment,” said Dyson Dean Nira Herrmann. “I know he has the experience to “Gino will do a brilliant job and undoubtedly will use his charisma to get students’ attention in the classroom and his stories from Italy about making great pizza pies will definitely be something to hear,” said Prof. Weishaus.
Weishaus was introduced to Gino during a softball game 20 years ago and have since enjoyed a friendly rivalry in future softball games and as legislative advisor for the Student Association (SA) at their respective universities. Gino will be in attendance at the April 6 SA meeting to meet with student leaders.
Senior class not graduating on time ...continued from page 1
versity in this case is absolutely ridiculous. I have been a student her for four long years. I ensured I took every course required on my sheet and have five job offerings for after graduation. Now those jobs might be forfeited because of the mistake of Pace
who didn’t pick up on the glitch almost four years ago,” said senior poetry student LeeAnn Sierra. After careful calculations and search of records it has been confirmed that the number of credits told to the class of 2013, 2014,
and 2015 have been accurate. Additionally, the credits told to the previous classes from 2002 and 2011 were also correct. The 2012 seniors will be required to make up the credits before receiving their diploma. Current seniors will be allowed to
*Enjoy the April Fools Edition! All Stories are fabricated & for entertainment purposes!*
return next semester to complete the necessary courses, however, students will still be responsible for paying for the missing credits and tuition, despite Pace taking responsibilities.
Health
Career Services
The Pace Chronicle
Page 4
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Quick Career Tips From Career Services: The Employers are Coming Angelina Bassano
Director of Career Services ABassano@pace.edu
The Pleasantville Job and Internship Spring 2012 Fair is on Wed., April 4 in the Goldstein Fitness Center from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Bring lots of resumes, dress in business attire, and research the employers you wish to meet beforehand. Come prepared and ready to network and find an internship and/or a full time job. We have 76 employers attending the Fair to date. •All Majors: 35 employers including Apple Inc, ENT & Allergy Associates, Federal Air Marshals, and Morgan Stanley. •Psychology/Counseling/Human Services/Sociology: 20 employers including Andrus Children’s Center, Cardinal McCloskey, Green Chimneys Children’s Services, Riverdale Mental Health, and White Plains Youth Bureau. •Communications/Media Arts/English/Journalism: 22 employers including Dannon Company, Icon International, WFAS, WRNN-TV, and Schott North America Inc. •Science/History/Philosophy/Public Administration/ Criminal Justice/Political Science: 23 employers including NYS Attorney General, Andrus Children’s Center, Federal Air Marshals, and Association of Development Officers. •Environmental/Biology/Chemistry/Science: 13 employers including Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, Northern Westchester Energy Action Consortium (NWEAC), Optical Distributor Group, and John Mini Landscapes. •Economics/Math/Finance: 17 employers including Kirchhoff-Consigli Con-
The following is a breakdown of the number of employers with some of the majors seeking. Also included is a sample of some of the employer names in each category. Please note that there are over 100-plus majors at Pace and we cannot include all of them by name. For a full list click on our Career Services website: www.pace.edu/career-services/home. struction Management, Clarfeld-Wealth Strategists and Financial Confidantes, and Morgan Stanley. •Computer Science/Information Systems: 14 employers including Apple, Boehringer-Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, IBM, and ConEdison Solutions •Accounting: 13 employers including Ernst & Young, IBM, KPMG, Dannon, and J.H. Cohn •Business/Finance/Human Resources/Management/Marketing: 46 employers including Boehringer- Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, Dorian Drake International, Icon International, Optical Distributor Group, and Madison Square Garden. •Nursing: 15 employers including ENT and Allergy Associates, Northern Westchester Hospital, Nyack Hospital, Mt. Kisco Medical Group, LLP, WESTMED Medical Group, and Stony Lodge Hospital. •Education: 13 employers including John A. Coleman School, Citizen Schools, Cerebral Palsy of Westchester, and YAI.
Date: Wednesday, April 4th Time: 11am-2pm Place: Goldstein Fitness Center EMPLOYERS INCLUDE: Primary Business Address Your Address Line 2 Your Address Line 3 Your Address Line 4
Apple Inc., ArtsWestchester, Benchmark Education, Dannon Company Enterprise, Ernst & Young, Grand Prix New York Racing Green Mountain Energy, Hudson Financial Group, IBM, Icon International John Mini Distinctive Landscapes, KPMG, Maypro Industries, Morgan Stanley Mt. Kisco Medical Group, Northwestern Mutual, NWEAC, Peace Corps Prudential, SCHOTT, Quorum Federal Credit Union Stony Lodge Hospital, W.B. Mason, Westchester Library System Western Union, WESTMED Medical Group, WFAS AM/FM, WRNN-TV Click here for full list of employers attending:
www.pace.edu/careers 914-773-3415/3361 **Information on this page are 100% accurate, not fabricated!**
Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 5
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
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Opinion
The Pace Chronicle
Page 6
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The Combination of Church and State (and Schools) Martin Totland
Opinion Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
America is in the gutter, both morally and fiscally. If the proud people of the USA want to take a big step towards improving the status quo, I suggest a bold, but necessary move: altering the Establishment clause of the First Amendment of the US Constitution to combine, not separate, church and state. The US is the only country on the planet whose constitution guarantees a separation of church and state. Simultaneously, it’s facing its biggest budget crisis of all time, a failing education system, and morale is at an all-time low. Is this pure coincidence? I think not. Why do you think virtually every other nation has a constitutional amendment or clause that puts in place some sort of state religion? For instance, Israel and Pakistan were the two first modern nations created on a religious foundation, and they’re doing terrific. Not only do I think the combination of church and state would bring about a Great American Renaissance; I think we’ve been fools for ignoring our religious roots for so long. We all know that the Founding Fathers were pious men of the pulpit and that the people on the Mayflower didn’t leave England to avoid religious persecution; they left to spread their good ole’ Anglicanism (and anyone who says differently is a liar). I say it’s time to revert back to the simplistic views of centuries past. If we know what’s good for us, we must simplify our view
of reality and make that view mandatory. All the secular and scientific progress of the last two centuries has done nothing but confuse people and obfuscate our understanding of the world. Isn’t it about time we make life simpler for ourselves by making everyone believe the same thing? Yes, I realize that there are several religions in this country, and I realize how that can create some difficulty in choosing which one to combine with the state. I have a simple solution, however: we simply pick the statistically biggest religion - Christianity and merely ignore the rest. If you can’t get with the program, then that’s your fault. The fact that these religions make contradicting claims about reality is something we can’t afford to be bothered with. Similarly, we will have to ignore the people who claim that all religions are false. The unification of church and state would effectively end the quarreling about such non-issues as stem cell research, abortion, gay marriage, etc. If anyone has a problem or opposing view (that is, actually supporting these issues), then we can simply point to the new version of the First Amendment to shut them up. Boom! Case closed. Sure, the white noise that will surely come from liberals, scientists, freethinkers, and atheists might be hard to ignore after a while, but the legislated combination of a state-sponsored faith and the federal government will make it easier to shut them up. Not only do I think it would be a marvelous step in the right direction to mandate a statesponsored faith, I also support the mandatory inculcation in schools across the land. If we want to get
Picture From The Internet Plans to add two new street signs on the Pleasantville campus by the Goldstein Academic Center are currently underway under orders of Pace President Stephen J. Friedman. the younger generations to accept the beliefs we decide for them, we had better get them while they’re young. If we let people develop their critical reasoning faculties before we tell them what to believe, we’ll run into trouble. Thus, all schools, public and private, should indoctrinate their students from kindergarten up through college. I suggest we start at Pace University to set an example. It’s no secret that students at Pace are amoral sinners. They are totally out of control. As a symbolic measure to rope our students back in, I demand that the school administration install a giant 50foot high crucifix on top of the Kessel Student Center. This will
serve as a reminder, visible from all over campus, that you – yes, you – are the subject of a celestial, benevolent dictatorship and that the Dear Leader is watching your every move. This, and only this, will improve the behavior of our students (as opposed to serious introspection and compassion for others). Getting this country back on track and securing our future depends on our reversion to centuries-old ethics and a unified, bible-based view of reality. Some critics will surely point out that the Bible espouses “dangerous” practices and morally “backwards” views. We will have to ignore those people, meaning we will have to ignore certain parts
of the Bible too. Parts like Leviticus, Chapter 25, Verse 44-46, and Exodus Chapter 21, Verse 20-21, which clearly condone slavery and violence towards your slaves, will have to be ignored. In other words, we must learn to cherrypick which parts to adhere to, and which parts to ignore. Some might suggest we can’t treat God’s unalterable words like that. Pish posh. Others might suggest we forgo religion altogether. Nonsense! Do those people really expect us to come up with morals on our own? Why, that’d be like suggesting that we, not God, are responsible for our own morals and ethics.
Raise Tuition at Pace: Students Have It Too Easy Martin Totland
Opinion Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
During every homecoming I watch with glee and nod in silent agreement as the school fires up several thousands dollars worth of fireworks. I’m glad that the students foot the bill for a fleeting spectacle of smoke and loud noises, especially in the wonderful economic state that we’re in. This is only part of a larger point however: Pace students have it too easy, economically speaking, and the school should raise tuition. Former Pace President David Caputo had it right in 2003, when his tuition guarantee plan made tuition increase. If we do that again the school will only attract the best of the best, while simultaneously weeding out unfit prospective students. His $700,000 annual salary was completely negligible and I can only assume, and hope, that current President Stephen J. Friedman has a similarly reasonable salary. If nothing else, it will set a healthy example for what all students are expected to achieve.
Picture From BrainTrack Are students having it too easy at Pace? Well, administrators should therefore increase tuition! Email PacePress@pace.edu if you agree! Students need to be tested before they enter the so-called real world. If you can’t handle the added pressure of higher tuition, then maybe you’re not fit for entering the real world, holding down a good job and caring for a family. Enjoy flipping burgers because there’s nothing real, whatsoever, about working part-time
and taking 18 credits, while trying not to be an unhealthy wreck, getting at least eight hours of sleep every night, and maintaining a social life. If you can’t handle the pressure of being buried in debt for decades after graduating, then maybe you’re not worth Pace’s time. As for the unspoken practice
of handing out financial aid packages to incoming students, then either cutting it or removing it completely for a year or two in (and many credits being nontransferable), leaving them in a bind, I say: great job. If that’s too tough on you, you should have known better. Pace has taken a few steps al-
ready to make it harder on their students. For instance, many students have several hundred dollars left on their meal cards at the end of spring semester that won’t roll over until the fall semester. That’s okay. That’s several hundred dollars they weren’t interested in using anyway. Or what about those magnificently successful concerts that happen every spring, costing easily $60,000? Student activity fees fund those and people always show up in droves for those, right? I know I love going to see all those famous rappers whose names happen to elude me. Seems like money well spent to me, and I’m happy we all had the chance to contribute, especially when there’s nothing important our money could be spent on. So the next time you watch the fireworks light up the night sky, remember that it’s pretty much your money going up in smoke. It’s pretty, right? Let it serve as a reminder that Pace knows what’s important for you and your future, and that it couldn’t have been spent any better.
Follow PaceAllChronicle onfabricated Twitter:& @PaceChronicle *Enjoy the April Fools The Edition! Stories are for entertainment purposes!*
ealth HH ealth
Page 7
The G-Spot B : G y
abrielle
The Pace Chronicle
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Davina
Slutty No More A new celibacy group is formed at
Ebony Turner
Pace by concerned former sexheads
What’s The-G-Spot About? "College is run by sexual tension. Many of us like sex, have sex, and have walked in on our roommate having sex. Why ignore it? Let’s be honest instead. In college, learning doesn’t only happen in the classroom, it happens in the bedroom. Don't be shy, now, welcome to the G-Spot." - Gabrielle Davina Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been impure. I have kissed boys—many boys—and maybe some girls, too. I have agreed to do very unholy things with a handful of boys and have encouraged some friends to do the same because it’s “fun.” I’ve even lost my underwear. Twice. Now, it’s time to make a change. I am starting a new movement on campus called CLAP: Closed Legs at Pace, for the men and women in our campus community who are sick and tired of the hook-up culture and ready to devote their lives to abstinence and celibacy. This movement is partially inspired by the pregnancy pact recently discovered amongst Pace students. A group of girls decided they would get knocked up and raise the babies together just like the Massachusetts high school girls that Lifetime made a movie about. Can you believe that? If you want a baby, cool, but don’t have one just for the novelty of getting to dress it up every day. That’s hard work. Last time I checked, New Dorm was no place to raise a child. It is also inspired by the culmination of bad experiences and wild rumors, pregnancy scares, and post-sex soreness, growing bored of the necessity for a perfectly shaved hoo-hah and really, really bad oral. Starting today, I am keeping my knees together with Gorilla Glue and zip ties. Some friends have shown interest in following my lead on the path to the brighter, less sinful life of sexlessness. Cutting sex out of your life will help you reevaluate how to spend your free time in the hours after stumbling home from the bar. Let’s be real—drunken sex is no fun anyway. It’s messy, clumsy, and ridden with whiskey dick. If you join the CLAP movement, you can do much
Fpinion eature OOpinion
more exciting and stimulating things after Paulie’s, like reading scripture or creating your own music on GarageBand. Declaring yourself celibate also alleviates the pressure to always come home with someone on the weekends. When you’re single and horny, you go to parties looking for bait to reel into your bed for the evening. Lifting that expectation allows you to talk to people for more than just sexual attraction and relate on things that really matter in your life, like hydrofracking and glutenfree animal crackers. What can one reap from celibacy, you ask? That’s easy—the positives to a sexless lifestyle are nearly endless. You will start to appreciate the little things in life, like swinging on the swings and watching C-SPAN archives online. You will become well versed in reciting lines from G-rated movies. Provided your celibacy also includes refraining from masturbation, God won’t have to kill any kittens in your name. Meow Sure, you’ll miss out on orgasms, but who needs those things anyway? They don’t last long. Soon you won’t even remember what you’re missing. I invite each of you, with closed legs and open arms, to join the CLAP movement. You, too, will recognize the error of your ways when you see how great life can be without the evils of sex and sexuality. Soon enough you’ll be thinking, “S/he has such nice…hands. I can’t wait to hold those hands,” instead of “Nice breasts. I can’t wait to hump them.” Chastity belt and all, let’s conquer the hook-up culture together. You’re better than those orgasms you had the other day. You are not s slave to your sex organs. You will keep your legs closed, and you’ll love it!
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Featured Columnist Ebony.Turner@pace.edu
Rush Limbaugh: The Modern Day MLK
What is 40 Acres and a MacBook? Whether it’s the questionable news headlines on Fox News or when we walk into Kessel and see all the same kids sitting comfortably on opposite sides of the cafeteria, it’s time to stop ignoring racial issues within our youth with our 40 acres and a Macbook - a modernized compensation for the world in which we are forced to live in. In our nation’s history, there have only been a few familiar names that have gladly assumed the role as the voice of minorities nationwide. Only a few have sincerely dedicated themselves to the plight and struggle we have suffered to live in a fully integrated society. It was not until Jan. 12, 1951 that a champion of equal opportunity for all was born, and his name is Rush Limbaugh. Before Limbaugh, minorities were lambs being herded by the tamest of shepherds. Sure, that guy who talked about his dreams did that walk on Washington and helped end segregation by allowing blacks to be hosed down without fighting back. Maybe the Black Panther party made a few adjustments by feeding those black kids and protesting in slick leather jackets. But why have we not acknowledged the contributions of Limbaugh to our continued efforts toward a progressive, post-racial society? They are abundantly crucial and have contributed a much needed dialogue to race relations in society that far surpass the efforts of the aforementioned. So, I bring to you the top three quotes that sum up why Limbaugh is our modern day Martin Luther King, Jr. “I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t
have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.” For decades, the black community has heralded slavery as one of the greatest examples of the beast and inhumanity in man, refusing to even acknowledge the bright side. Limbaugh offers a diverse perspective that has never been seen. Slavery encouraged good work ethics amongst blacks and kept us off the streets and in the fields – maybe slavery returning is not such a bad idea since it had its “merits.” “You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed.” It’s just like Limbaugh to be the voice of the unsung heroes such as James Earl Ray. Sure, he might have left the civil rights movement without one of its most prolific voices, but what about the line of fire Ray put himself through? It takes an insurmountable amount of courage to go to jail for your beliefs and be the martyr of the most oppressed during this time period: white males.
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“The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.” Limbaugh calls out one of the only organizations in our nation to still identify blacks as “colored people” as needing to rehearse what blacks are best at. I see this as an affective method of applying transferable skills and using them to benefit an organization that has taken a back seat in recent years. Limbaugh uplifts our struggling national organizations and gives them timely advice on how to re-invent their efforts toward advancing colored people. Well done, Limbaugh. President Barack Obama is great as the modern day representative of our community and nation, but Limbaugh is the colorful voice we needed to bring our presence back to the forefront. All of these radio stations and advertisement agencies leaving him behind for his more recent comments for how “outrageous” they were should have left years ago. They are only trying to silence him in the same fashion they tried to silence King and X. He is a revolutionary that must be televised, and must remain on the air. Rush Limbaugh is the modern day King.
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Health
Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 8
Sudden Outbreak Amongst Pace Air Hockey Team
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Food Poisoning Believed to be Linked to Salmonella Don’t Take a Bite of That Sandwich!
Is that a cold sore or herpes?
Delis DeLeon
Health Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
More than half of the air hockey team has reported a case of herpes. Out of the 25 young men and women on the team, 16 are being treated for herpes. Due to the recent cold winds, these were thought to be cold sores. But once the weather grew warmer, it was discovered to be herpes. Cold sores can only occur in the winter due to the cold, breezy wind, and snow. Therefore, once the sun was out and the bumps did not go away, the coach knew it was more severe. “The minute the sun came and those bumps did not disappear, I knew we were in trouble,” said air hockey coach Damon Robinson. “The health of my team is one of my greatest concerns. And under the NCAA rules, if more than half a team is experiencing an illness or health concern, that team is no longer eligible to participate in their upcoming matches.” With their unbeatable winning streak of 7-0, Robinson expressed major concerns for his team being eliminated due to the herpes epidemic. The team has worked extremely hard, practicing seven days a week from 9-11 a.m. in Goldstein Fitness Center’s arcade room. Pace has instilled two additional air hockey tables since the last win.
The epidemic is believed to be spread through multiple ways. The first and most concerning are through the sharing of food and drinks amongst the teammates. Sophomore marketing major Tiger Woods commented, “I spend the most time with my teammates. Between practices, matches, and study hall, we are bound to share meals amongst one another. Up until this outbreak, I never hesitated to pick up my teammate’s cup or fork. We are like family, so it’s like sharing with my brother and sister.” Another way herpes is spread is through kissing. If someone who already has the disease kisses you, there is an 80 percent chance that one will be infected with the disease. Freshman cosmetics students and air hockey players Ana Padin and Chiara Genna stated they’re lucky not to be affected and have taken measures to not clean their air hockey materials after each training session. Those who are suffering from herpes have been prescribed a daily ointment and vitamins which are intended to cure the disease within 30 days. The air hockey team is currently being observed by the University Health Center to contain the outbreak. Coach Robinson and the rest of the team are hoping for a speedy recovery in order to compete in their next match in the upcoming weeks.
Picture By Pace-Crime Scene Investigation According to WebMD, Salmonellosis - or simply Samonella, is a type of food poisoning caused by the Salmonella bacterium. There are many different kinds of these bacteria. Salmonella serotype Typhimurium and Salmonella serotype Enteritidis are the most common types in the United States. Delis DeLeon
Health Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
Have you been experiencing diarrhea and/or intestinal inflammation? Is your stomach feeling very full and making you queasy? Do you ever feel like you have to vomit? If you have answered yes to any of the previous questions and you have recently eaten at Kessel or Pace Perk, you may be experiencing food poisoning due to salmonella in the Chartwells’ food. Many students have reported the symptoms, listed above, after eating sandwiches and wraps that contained meat or cheese. In fact, the most common foods that contain salmonella include poultry, eggs, meat, unprocessed meat, and even water. One of the major concerns expressed by the University is the fact that salmonella can be spread through rodents such as mice. “I shouldn’t be concerned about whether or not I will get food poisoning for eating food from the cafeteria. For most students, the food in Kessel or the
Perk is the only food available to them unless they branch out to restaurants and businesses in town,” stated senior art history student Jennifer Rodriguez. The salmonella bacterium attacks the stomach and intestines and in the most severe cases, salmonella can enter the lymph tracts, which can affect the water, and protein, which are carried through the blood. In most cases, the infection clears up within a week without requiring a doctor’s visit or prescription. However, if it does not clear up by the end, prescribed antibiotics are necessary. A salmonella outbreak speaks to the cleanliness and efficiency of a restaurant or food facility. Due to the multiple occurrences of symptoms amongst students on both campuses, it is believed that the salmonella is either directly linked to the products in which Chartwells is purchasing from their supplier or due to the lack of proper cleaning. Although cooks are ordered to clean their workstations, change gloves in between orders, and clean their utensils, this does not always occur because of the long
lines and rushes of students during common hour. Until further notice, both the Pleasantville and Briarcliff facilities will be closed starting April 1, until an investigation has been conducted. Chartwells will be sending out samples of their products for testing to discover whether it is the actually meat, eggs, cheese, and other materials being used. Cooks and all other Chartwells staff will be undergoing a week long paid training and tutorial regarding effective cleaning methods which will be conducted by the Food and Drug Administration. Any students who feel they have been infected with salmonella or believe to be experiencing food positioning are urged to report to the Chartwells office located in the Kessel Student Center. For the student’s convenience, a suggestion box where students can share their concerns or ideas to improve the quality of food and prevent any further health issues has been made available in the facilities of both campuses.
University Health Center Offering Shots for a Limited Time Only Delis DeLeon
Health Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
The cooties epidemic is on the rise, so Pace’s Health Center is giving free shots for a limited time only. With the sudden change of weather and an increase in interaction amongst males and females, cooties have spread at a rapid rate. The disease has raised a huge concern in the world of science as it is now affecting one out of every four males and one out of every six females. Due to their Y chromosome, it is believed that males carry the cooties trait. There are three stages of the
cooties - elementary, moderate, and severe. In the elementary stage, one experiences tiny red bumps all over their body in the areas they were touched by an already infected person. If detected earlier enough, this can be treated using “Cooties Removal Soap” which can be found at your local pharmacy and drug store, such as the new Walgreens in Thornwood. The moderate stage requires a prescription from your physician. The signs of this stage include an itchy rash caused by the bumps experienced during the initial stage. This rash is extremely contagious and spreads quickly. Those in the moderate stage
are advised to isolate themselves to avoid spreading the disease. The last and most dangerous stage is the severe stage, in which one will not only experience the symptoms in the previous two stages, but he/she will also break out in random dance. Some examples include the Chicken dance, the Macarena, the Cotton Eyed Joe, and the Cha Cha Slide. The only way to get rid of the cooties once it has reached the third stage is to say your Alphabet backwards while hoping on one foot alternating from your left and right legs after each fifth letter. Due to the excessive measures that need to be taken to rid the disease, scientists are conducting multiple experiences in efforts to
truly pinpoint what is causing the cooties outbreak. There have already been 50 reported cases of the Cooties at Pace ranging from the moderate to extreme stages, affecting both males and females equally. The greatest number of incidents has occurred among the freshman class who are believed to have brought the disease on campus. Freshman woodshop student Scarlet Johansson said, “I’ve been exhibiting some of the early signs of the elementary stage and I am very concerned. I’m not sure if I will be able to effectively recite my alphabet backwards while focusing on alternating feet because of the uncontrollable itching I
will experience due to the rash.” “My friends and I bought five bottles of the Cooties Removal soap,” said junior home economics student William Smith. Nurse practitioner Sue Ellen said, “Students should act now and get their free cooties preventive shots now while we still have them in stock. With the increase in demand, these shots will be given on a first come, first serve basis. So what are you waiting for? Make your appointment today. To see schedule, visit www. circle,cirlcle,dot,dot,nowIhavem ycootieshot.com.
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Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 9
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Entertainment
Pace Student to be Honored at MoMA Miguel Jose O’leaga
Editor-in-Chief PaceChronicle@pace.edu
The Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) has reached out to a Pace student to showcase her artwork after seeing her Microsoft Paint skills. “I realized that art was a good idea when I saw my crayon drawings on my own fridge,” said junior political science student Melanie Londono. “My mother was very particular of what was posted on the fridge, but my drawings always managed to make the cut. But until MoMA contacted me I had no idea I had such potential.” Londono has utilized the many mediums of art, such as crayons, markers, pens, and pencils, but it was her work on Microsoft Paint that caught the attention of art dealer Farah Daniels. “Melanie, she’s something unique,” said Daniels. “I saw her crayon drawings that her mother saved, and I first thought it was a work from Picasso or Monet, but I was in honest shock when it was from a Pace University student.” Daniels, a representative of MoMA, decided it was best to showcase the work at her museum. “I was so surprised, but not really,” said a humbled Londono, who has gained attention from drawing portraits. “They are usually inspired by boredom,” said Londono. One of the portraits MoMA specifically ordered to showcase is her portraits of members of the Pace community, such as political science professor Paul Londrigan. “He was ecstatic,” said Londono when asked about Londrigan’s reaction about MoMA’s decision. “He told me that he showed all his friends and his wife! His wife is an art teacher and was very impressed as well.” The junior political science student plans on presenting her life at Pace during the open exhibit, with a mixture of older and newer drawings to complete the collection. Londono is currently running for Student Association (SA) President and hopes to have her banners drawn instead of using computers, as she believes it may relate more to students. “I’m running for SA president and I think it’s important that the student body has a president who can draw really well, like me.” “I know art has been a big part of my life, so seeing someone as influential as Melanie run for such a big role for Pace definitely lifts my hopes and makes me consider running for the SA executive board next year,” said junior broadcasting student Kimberly Frasier. When asked what advice she may have for other students, Londono stated, “Don’t stop drawing. Draw everywhere! On napkins, newspapers, or the side of your notes.”
You can view Melanie Londono’s work at MoMA from April 2 to August 5.
Portrait by Melanie Londono Pictured above is Londono’s portrait of Prof. Paul Londrigan on Microsoft Paint, a piece MoMA specifically requested to showcase at their upcoming exhibit.
MTV Casting for Pleasantville Reality Show Tim Doyle
Television Reporter PaceChronicle@pace.edu
Since the disturbing announcement of Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is pregnancy, MTV announced today that the Jersey Shore will be closing shop at the end of this season. As literally the entire world rejoiced, they also became increasingly curious as to where the reality show would go next. After scouting several different areas on the East Coast, MTV has decided to start their next generation of rowdy, ridiculous television in Pleasantville, NY. “We found Pleasantville to be the most out of control area,” said MTV producer Carson Daly. “We really love the area, as well as its residents. We strongly believe they will be perfect for our new
genre of stupid television.” Since the confirmation, local residents and students have been lining up in front of 7/11 on Bedford Rd. where the auditions will be held this coming Sunday for their chance to be on the show. “I’ve been here since the announcement,” said sophomore James Ward. “I really can’t wait to become a famous [expletive] like The Situation was.” MTV Producers are aware of the intense nature of their show and have no worries when it comes to filming in Pleasantville. “The local university seems to have the perfect ensemble for a television show. It’s like a really big, immature high school – with alcohol,” said Daly. Pace University, located in the heart of Pleasantville, is where Daly expects to find most of the cast.
“This place is literally excellent. We’ve got athletes, fraternities, sororities, commuters, and graduates – all students! Best part about it is they all know each other so the drama we’ll be bringing to audiences from Pleasantville should be juicy!” Although there are many who are excited for the show’s next pit-stop, a resident is not welcoming the show with open arms. “It is a disgrace to television,” said Debra Downer, a Pace Security Guard. “This school does not need to be on television for the world to see; it does not need its students to be subjected to any sort of fun! They’re doing just fine drinking in silence in their dorms!” Considering Downer is standing alone against the show’s arrival, she was asked to leave Pleasantville immediately. No
one seemed to care. MTV plans to begin filming
the series, properly titled Keep up the PACE, this fall.
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Health
Entertainment
The Pace Chronicle
Page 10
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
New University Policy to Ban Social Media Tim Doyle
Television Editor
PaceChronicle@pace.edu While students were enjoying their Spring Break, Pace professors were grading midterms all week. By the end of the week, it was apparent that the entire Pace Community had performed poorly on their exams, leaving professors and staff alike confused as to what happened. After various studies and surveys, Pace University has come to the conclusion to ban social media on their network. Starting on Mon., March 19, Professors distributed surveys to students to figure out why the community average was a D+. Nine out of ten students reported spending upwards of 10 hours a week on Facebook, compared to the 12 minutes a week on schoolwork. “I don’t get it,” said extremely old Professor John Bluntarski,
who has been teaching at Pace since the Cuban Missile Crisis. “Students and their obsession with the inter web is crazy. In my day, students were spending their free time preparing for a nuclear attack!” The results of the surveys left the Pace staff with no choice but to place a ban on popular social networks, such as Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, and Myspace. “We believe blocking these sites will improve academics here at the University, as well as improve legitimate human interaction - something that has been dissolving in recent years,” said the security guard who works on Briarcliff. “We genuinely believe the absence of these sites will make the students less pissed when we ask for ID.” Although moves have already been made to place the ban on the websites, students will not take this affirmative action lying down. “[Expletive] no! Are they
[expletive] kidding me? How else will I know when someone’s [expletive] birthday is?!” said junior Justin Flores. “Without Facebook, I would literally have no friends.” Aside from those opposed, there are few (legit, three) students who believe this could improve life at Pace. “It’s such a good idea,” says some kid we interviewed who doesn’t have a Facebook, so we don’t know his name, or really anything about him. “Our academics will improve and everyone will have a 4.0 if the university proceeds with this ban.” Considering the ban will be effective starting April 1, students are incredibly angry they will no longer be able to ‘Like’ various Townhouse Day photographs, or girls’ photo shoots from the Paulie’s bathroom. Apetition has been set up by students to appeal the ban. To sign the petition, visit www.thisisajoke.com/paceuniversity.
Top Spring and Summer Fashion Trends Colby Hochmuth
Entertainment Editor PaceChronicle@pace.edu
It’s that time of the year again! The birds are chirping the snow is melting; spring is here. The coming of spring also means new spring and summer fashions will be filling the shelves of your favorite stores. Over the past few months, famous designers like Chanel, Marc Jacobs, and Gucci have dazzled the runways with the fashions that are sure to be a hit this spring. Here are the top looks for this spring and summer that will have you turning heads: Gaucho pants: A few years back, these pants were all the rage. The tight waistband and loose free flowing bottoms that come mid-calf are extremely flattering for all body types. They’re also typically made of cotton and polyester, which provide maximum comfort. Pair gaucho pants with a fitted tee for a casual look or a zip up jacket for a more athletic flair! Croc shoes: These light weight convenient shoes are perfect for almost any occasion. If you need something to slip on to go run er-
rands, hiking, and even for more formal occasions. They come in an array of colors and are reasonably priced. Crocs make the perfect gift for a friend or loved one, or even to treat yourself. Turtle necks: Believe it or not, this common winter trend is making a summer comeback! Although spring and summer bring warmer weather, this trend is worth a little discomfort. Turtlenecks look great with a cute
spring skirt or pair of high waisted shorts and wedges. Ponchos: The longer, the better! Ponchos made several appearances on the runway this season with crochet being the fabric of choice. The knit crochet sweater look is perfect for going out for a night with friends or for a first date. Ponchos that are faded and have a little bit of wear and tear look very authentic and are extremely fashionable this
season. Bell-bottom jeans: This style, which dominated the 70’s and a good part of the 90’s, is back! Last spring, we saw the emergence of the skinny jean and popularity skyrocketed. But lately, we’ve seen that skinny jeans are falling out of the limelight and into the trash. Bell-bottom jeans offer more leg flexibility and give women a nice hourglass figure. Pair these pants with some clogs
and a tank top for a great summer look. Overalls: Many models on the runway were donning farmertype overalls this season. While many people perceive overalls to be for farmers, hicks, rednecks, or people who don’t own mirrors, they are mistaken. Pair a cute pair of faded jean overalls with a bandeau, tank top, and crocs and you will be making a major fashion statement.
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Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 11
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sports
Sports on the Side: Sexy Rexy’s Prediction? Richard Dover
Sports Columnist PaceChronicle@pace.edu
For the past three years, New York Jets fans have lived with the boisterous claims made by Rex Ryan that his planes would reach maximum altitude of the football world. A coach promising the fans that his aircraft would return from its flight with the Lombardi Trophy in tow. Yet after two losses in the AFC championship game and a year when the Jets ran out of fuel at the worst possible time, his own town’s antiaircraft guns hit Ryan. But Ryan’s loyalty to his franchise has been unwavering. Just to prove it to us, the fans, the Jets coach called a press conference to make the annual prediction for his team in 2013. But nobody saw this season outlook coming. “I guarantee that we are not going to win a game this season,” Ryan said. “I truly believe
that we have the team capable of accomplishing this incredibly difficult feat. A lot has to go right for this to happen, but we have the character on this team to make it happen.” There were visible signs of shock in the room. One reporter’s inaudible babbling quickly sounded like the love child of Porky Pig and Nicole Kidman. John Clayton’s four remaining hairs stood on end after Buddy Ryan’s son boldly proclaimed infamy. Only the New England beat reporter who came to crack foot jokes was seen feverously writing down the quote. The back page headline for The New York Post the next day read, “Santa Claus is Not Real.” The overconfident coach declaring his team would excel at achieving failure was unprecedented. No coach in their right mind would deliberately say their team would not win a single game. The coach’s proclamation was a complete 180-degree shift from positive to pessimistic.
Ryan’s maneuver was so radical that even Rush Limbaugh would have criticized it on his radio show. The New York Police Department officer present for security purposes immediately issued Breathalyzer and tox screen tests to make sure Ryan was sober. C.S.I. agent Mac Taylor was called in to check for any blunt-force trauma. As it turned out, Ryan’s blood alcohol was .000 and there were more bacon bits in his blood than drugs. But whether or not Ryan was dropped on his head remains to be determined. Yet perhaps the most peculiar part of the press conference immediately followed Ryan’s claim to infamy. The Jets coach walked out of the press conference with a huge smile on his face, like a child after they had just made their first piece of macaroni art for their parents to see. But the people who were smiling widest were those who rooted against the Jets.
Social media networks lambasted the Jets organization and fans alike. Insults from ‘Ready to Lose Rex,’ ‘Roundabout Ryan’ and other more colorful terms that were not suitable for print could be summoned at the click of a mouse. Rumors even surfaced to Fireman Ed hanging up his helmet. As newsworthy as Ryan’s quote was, there was no upside to it whatsoever. The only, semi-rational explanation for his words would be to lower the expectations for his own team after failing to obtain them. But even then, a coach predicting a team he runs to not win a game? The same coach, embarrassing his players in front of the ravenous New York media after an off-season of character concerns? Rex Ryan, the leader of the New York Jets, saying that his team would be as terrible as the 2008 Detroit Lions? His comments beg the question of his ability to fly the Jets. The organization has felt the backlash of Ryan’s words, yet
he remained because of his dedication to the promise of improvement. But when someone in charge of publicizing the team’s vision for the future guarantees regression, it hurts everybody. Ryan has charisma to make outlandish statements. Media and fans alike laughed at his challenge to fight Channing Crowder. New York got behind the man who told everyone where Bill Belichick could put his rings. Ryan became beloved for his bold predictions early after his hiring; yet those same words grew sour when struggle set in. Ryan has been beloved and despised by New York. Yet perhaps his most extreme comments put him past his role of Maverick Mitchell and thrust him into the role of Goose. And unfortunately for Ryan, he awaits the same fate as Anthony Edward’s character after guaranteeing a nosedive from his Jets.
ATTENTION SENIORS and FRESHMEN!!!
Have you received an email from the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE), asking you to complete their online survey? When you take the time to fill out the NSSE, you give Pace a chance to know you better and make Pace work better for you! Not only that, but completing the survey enters you into a PaceͲonly raffle for:
Don’t delay! The NSSE Survey window closes April 29. Don’t miss your chance to have an iPad2 or Kindle!
You can log in to NSSE here: https://www.nssesurvey.org/login.cfm. If you do not know your login ID, you will need to follow the “Don’t know your login ID” link and enter your Pace eͲmail address. If you have not received any eͲmail invitations to the survey, you may not be eligible. Please feel free to contact Joy Tatusko at jtatusko@pace.edu or x22753 if you have any questions.
Complete your survey now and earn your chance to win!
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Health
The Pace Chronicle
Page 12
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sports
Setter Spotlight with
Kevin Talbot Susana Verdugo-Del Real
Sports Editor Susana.VerdugoDelReal@pace.edu
Rollerblading will be an official co-ed spring sport starting next school year and 2011 alumnus, Kevin Talbot, has been hired as the new head coach. “In my former life, I was a skater. Did it all from Tony Hawk video games to watching the X Games in my living room...actually even physically skated once or twice down by Chelsea Pier,” said Talbot. Rollerblading was first introduced after an uproar from students over the past three years to bring the emerging sport to the athletic department. The team was finally passed last week. Pace Athletics has met all of the NCAA requirements to add another co-ed sport on campus, and is now the process is complete with the hiring of Talbot. “Skating is becoming extremely popular and taking this campus by storm. Skaters are immerging by the masses! I was excited that Pace Athletics is working to meet the demand of its student body,” responded Talbot. In last week’s issue, the athletic department responded that they were interviewing several candidates for the head coach position.
Talbot, being a former Pace student, was one of the candidates who was asked to interview by Pace personnel, apparently having an advantage over the other candidates that applied. “Coach Dap, being a skater himself, reached out to me personally. He told me they were looking into bringing this new sport on campus and I automatically came to mind because of our days together in Skaters United. He feels that I’m the most capable man for the job and can really shine some light on the skaters and bring swag to the new program,” said Talbot. Talbot indicated that in terms of recruiting, he will “not turn away anyone on this team; we take any and everyone. If you were ever dropped from a team or think the other sports are too rigorous and sweaty...skating is the sport for you! It doesn’t take much to be a skater, just be yourself. If it’s in you, it will show.” Demonstrating and encouraging all students and former student-athletes to participate, as well as promote the sport around the community to surpass all other sports on campus, will more
than likely take rollerblading to the next level. Spandex shorts and kneepads will be provided for anyone who makes the team, setting the competition high for the women’s volleyball team for the best uniforms on campus. In response to raising awareness of the sport, Talbot explained that the team will “have several fundraising and community service projects so that folks can start to know us and feel our presence on campus. Our two main initiatives are Skate for a Cause, where we skate to raise money for small children in Indonesia with no knees who dream of someday skating themselves, and Meals on Wheels, where we skate and deliver food to customers in each of our dining halls.” Talbot, being the experienced roller-bladder that he is, expressed that his passion for the sport emerged because of the liberating feeling where he developed no care in the world, as he portrays it “floating like a paper in the wind as it blows through my waves in the cool breeze. Mainly because I wear an aerodynamic body suit.” Talbot plans to play against
Photo by Adam Samson/The Pace Chronicle Class of 2011 graduate Kevin Talbot will be coaching the new and approved rollerskating team at Pace. every school in the NE-10 conference as the sport is developing rapidly and being added to 90 percent of all the universities in the northeast region.
“There is no limit to the amount of skating that can be done. We gon’ skate all day, errday,” said Talbot.
A Woman Playing a Man’s Sport Susana Verdugo-Del Real
Sports Editor Susana.VerdugoDelReal@pace.edu
The football team has three defensive positions: defensive linemen, linebackers, and defensive backs. There are five offensive positions: quarterback, running back, full back, wide receivers, and tight end. But we must not forget there are also the kickers, the long and short distance and these players have usually a background in soccer, one way or another. In Mary Lynch’s case, a former soccer player who quit the soccer team and is now on the track team. Her ambition and
passion for soccer still exists and she has gone out of her way to prove that she can be the football team’s kicker this upcoming season. “I think the boys could use some help, and I’ve played soccer my entire life so kicking would be my best bet. I’m a little on the small side to be a linebacker,” said Lynch. Soccer would make it an easy transition to football for Lynch. This kind of background will make her versatile and coachable. “If I hadn’t played soccer, I would probably be awful at kicking, but I think it’s a learned skill, I just happened to learn it playing a different sport,” she explained.
Other than fulfilling her soccer void, Lynch opened up a window for females everywhere to challenge NCAA rules and regulations. “If I get it approved, they have no choice but to allow other girls to do the same. I’m not really doing this for any reason other than for myself to be honest, but if I help promote fairness and equality then I guess that’s just another benefit,” said Lynch. The NCAA has strict rules and regulations so Lynch says she won’t be surprised if they deny her petition but the fact that they are considering it says a lot about the organization. Regardless, Lynch is prepared
no matter the decision. If she is granted to try out for the kicker spot, she will attempt to acquire the position for short distance kicking because not a lot of strength is needed for short distances. Pace senior, and defensive lineman for the team, Tiny Tim, says him and the team are not excited for Lynch to try out. “She’s gonna be in for a rude awaking,” said Tim. The skinny, 5’4” student-athlete is comfortable with playing the male-dominated sport of football as a kicker, “but playing on the field and actually being tackled by guys three times my size? Not as comfortable with that idea.
As far as locker rooms go, I think I’ll be requesting my own,” said Lynch. As this is a good opportunity for women to challenge and not be afraid to open other opportunities, Lynch doesn’t believe men will do the same with women sports. “Most boys wouldn’t want to play with girls, probably because of their egos, but most boys are naturally stronger and more athletic than women, so I don’t really think that would be fair,” expressed Lynch. According to Tim, he and other unnamed players will be trying out for the women’s soccer team in protest of Lynch’s decision.
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