Your Kids and Substance Abuse

The Mom of an Addict group offers education and support

By Julie Young

When Jennifer Hope’s son Jake tried alcohol for the first time at the age of 16, she did not know that for the next seven years her child would be in the throes of drug and alcohol abuse. Hope spent many nights wondering what she had done wrong as a mother and praying that no one would find out. She didn’t want her son labeled or her other children ostracized. The roller coaster of emotions left her feeling exhausted, and as if she were the only mother in the world dealing with the struggle.

“Watching someone you love morph into someone you barely recognize at times is heartbreaking and traumatic,” she said.

In 2017, and at the age of 23, Jake sought a long-term treatment program on his own to get the help he needed. By that time, Hope had learned more about the disease of addiction and after years of offering non-committal answers whenever friends inquired about Jake, she became more upfront about his challenges and her family’s journey. Instead of judgement, folks commiserated and shared their own stories.

“It was like I was giving them permission to talk about it,” she said.

In 2018, Hope was inspired to start helping others and formed a nonprofit organization. Together with three moms and two other men, she filed the paperwork in early 2019, and the Mom of an Addict group was born.

The Mom of an Addict exists to provide education and support for families and friends who have been affected by a loved one’s substance use. Their first meeting was held in June 2019 at The Chapel with 65 people in attendance. Over the next few years, the organization grew, and today there are three in-person weekly meetings in Fort Wayne, one in Warsaw, and a monthly meeting in North Manchester. There are also two online meetings each week. The meetings are free and open to everyone and include both a 20-lesson propriety curriculum, as well as a time for sharing and support.

Donna Wray joined the group during its inaugural year to find support after her daughter Emily’s overdose. Emily had been a professional dancer in Chicago when she turned to pain medication to help deal with the aches and pains that come as a result of intense rehearsals. In time, she turned to street drugs, including cocaine, which she kept hidden from her family. After an arrest pushed the secret out into the open, Emily moved back to her parents’ home in Fort Wayne and sought treatment through counseling and methadone. The latter proved to be a poor substitute for the drugs she craved and before long, she had relapsed. Heartbroken and feeling helpless, Wray asked her daughter to leave. It was the day the drugs won.

Wray continued to talk to Emily and always reminded her of how much she was loved, but she couldn’t manage to get on top of her addiction and on January 21, 2019, she died.

“When we arrived at the hospital on the day that she died, most of her vital organs were shutting down,” Wray said. “I felt the presence of God in the room with her and me…He knew Emily’s journey was getting too difficult and as a loving Father, decided to take her home.”

Today, as the board president for Mom of an Addict, Wray said although recovery is not possible for some, education is crucial to understanding the disease and the best way to approach the illness.

“I have received incredible support from the Mom of an Addict Support Group,” Wray said. “Even though Emily is no longer here, it has given me a better understanding of…her addiction. As a family, we learned to share our feeling both good and bad. We have also learned to talk about our journey with Emily publicly in order to fight stigma.”

“If your loved one has a substance abuse disorder you are not alone,” Hope said. “And there is always HOPE!” a

Resource:

The Mom of an Addict, Fort Wayne, 260.209.4686, themomofanaddict.org