4-7-15

Vol. 105 Issue 145

@thepittnews

New apartment complex to help students

Tuesday,April 7, 2015

Pittnews.com

GREEN THUMB

Dale Shoemaker Assistant News Editor

A Texas-based development company has proposed to build an off-campus apartment building in Oakland that will resemble Pitt’s dorm halls.

Campus Advantage said Monday that it will construct a 13-story, 137-bedroom apartment complex primarily housing students at 3407 Forbes Ave., near Magee-Womens Hospital, where a single-story commercial building stands. Construction is slated to begin next February and be completed by the fall of 2017, said Scott Duckett, the company’s chief executive officer.

Allegheny County’s 2015 County Assessed Value of the lot, owned by UPMC, was $450,600. Though the end cost could change, Duckett said, Campus Advantage’s estimated cost for the complex is $25 million.

Some students, however, said they are skeptical of living in a place off-campus that has similar restrictions to one of Pitt’s residence halls. As part of the lease agreement, students must agree to follow local and community laws and ordinances, including a policy forbidding the use of illegal drugs, Duckett said.

Hunter Saunders, a sophomore finance major, said living in the new building will depend on its price. Freedom is what makes living off-

Apartments

Students from Plant 2 Plate work in the local garden on Oakland Avenue Monday.

Nate Smith | Staff Photographer

Feminism and fracking: Activist speaks at Pitt Mark Pesto For the Pitt News

Even after twice spending more than two weeks in jail, Sandra Steingraber emits passion — but not anger — when she talks about her opposition to fracking.

Steingraber, a biologist, author of four books and grassroots activist, spoke to more than 100 people about the roles she and other 3 women play in the anti-fracking movement on

Monday at 7 p.m. in the William Pitt Union.

In her lecture, “Fracking Is a Feminist Issue: Women Confronting Fossil Fuels and Petrochemicals in an Age of Climate Uncertainty,” Steingraber spoke about the 15 days in 2013 she spent in a Chemung County, N.Y., jail for trespassing after she blocked trucks from entering a natural gas facility in upstate New York.

Crestwood Midstream, then Inergy, wanted to use this facility to store fracked natural

gas in old salt mines under the banks of Seneca Lake, she said. Storing natural gas under Seneca Lake could potentially contaminate this vital source of clean drinking water, according to Steingraber.

After continuing her protests in defense of Seneca Lake, Steingraber was arrested again in November 2014 and spent another 15 days in jail.

Fracking

2

FROM PAGE 1

FRACKING “I could be a better mother to my children in jail than out of jail,” Steingraber said of her repeated acts of civil disobedience.

In March, Steingraber and her fellow activists prevailed in a Reading, N.Y., town court after members of her “We Are Seneca Lake” protest group had been arrested a total of 216 times.

“The judge agreed to dismiss our charges in the interest of justice,” Steingraber said to loud applause.

Steingraber is also the cofounder of New Yorkers Against Fracking, a group that helped lead grassroots opposition to fracking in New York, culminating in that state’s 2014 fracking ban. She stressed the impact fracking may have on women’s reproductive systems.

“This is a feminist issue because [the chemicals used and released in the fracking process] are largely reproductive toxins,” Steingraber said. She listed medical conditions, such as asthma, testicular cancer and reduced age of puberty in girls, which she said fossil fuel dependence has exacerbated.

“Are we using women and their infants as nonconsenting subjects in an uncontrolled human experiment?” Steingraber asked.

Animals, specifically livestock, exposed to fracking material often have trouble reproducing after exposure, according to a 2012 study “Impacts of Gas Drilling on Human and Animal Health.” The authors, Michelle Bamberger and Robert E. Os-

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com wald, added that the impact fracking has on human subjects is inconclusive because humans are not exposed to fracking at the same rate as livestock.

Kate Fissell, a computer programmer who works on brain imaging projects at Pitt, attended the lecture after reading Steingraber’s 2011 book “Raising Elijah: Protecting Children in an Age of Environmental Crisis.”

“I got the impression from her attitude that she can convey information she’s passionate about without getting angry about it,” Fissell said, regarding Steingraber’s calm disposition during the lecture.

Jack Collop, a sophomore economics major, decided to attend after he saw a flyer promoting Steingraber’s lecture and was intrigued.

“I really liked the comprehensive explanation of global warming and how fracking figures into that,” Collop said after the lecture.

Steingraber said the current environmental crisis should be thought of as a tree with two branches: planet and people.

The planet suffers from floods, droughts and extinctions, while people are subjected to the various diseases and birth defects caused by toxic pollutants.

“Our problems aren’t manifold,” Steingraber said, arguing that people should look past the various effects the “unholy trinity” of fossil fuels causes to see that most of these issues come from the same place.

“It all comes down to this ruinous dependency on fossil Sandra Steingraber spoke about the dangers of fracking in the William Pitt Union. Theo Schwarz | Visual Editor fuels,” Steingraber said.

The Pitt News Crossword, 4/7/2015

2

ACROSS 1 Stick (out) 4 Chocolate syrup choice 9 Call to mind 14 Self-image 15 Chipmunk’s morsel 16 “America by Heart” author Sarah 17 Good name for a tree-lined street 18 Controversial coal-extraction process 20 Long gun 22 Really mad 23 __-Loompa: fictional chocolate factory worker 26 Bagpiper, often 27 Buy lots of presents for 33 “2001” computer 34 Cinematic shootout time 35 Monica of tennis 36 Allowed to ripen, as cheddar 38 Kind of card or drive 41 Senate slot 42 Rose (up) on hind legs, to a cowhand 44 Beat to a froth 46 Doctor’s org.

47 Wry wit 51 “¿Qué __?”

52 Jazz singer Krall 53 Curse-inflicting stare 56 Some Balkanites 59 Opera house section 62 Kit __: candy bar 63 Everglades wader 64 Pro basketball player, briefly 65 H-like letter 66 “Think again!”

67 Decent chaps 68 “Give __ thoughts no tongue”: “Hamlet” DOWN 1 Bit of heckling 2 Aptly named fruit 3 Horseplay

4/21/15

By John Lampkin

4 Infielders 5 Autumn mo.

6 Fraternity counterpart: Abbr.

7 Nursery bed 8 Like some military housing 9 Literary postscripts 10 Makeup tables 11 “Chocolat” actress Lena 12 Royal flush card 13 Second lang., for some 19 Wisc. neighbor 21 Stuck-in-the-mud gear 24 University VIP 25 AFB truant 27 Broken pottery piece 28 Helga’s Viking husband, in comics 29 Extremely impressed 30 Bargain hunter’s mecca 31 Spanish “I love you” 32 Astronomical red giant

Monday’s Puzzle Solved

©2015 Tribune Content Agency, LLC

37 More than dislikes 39 Not barefoot 40 Old audio system 43 Includes in the poker game 45 Sci-fi weapons 48 Tiny fraction of a min.

49 Adage 50 One in Paris 53 Therefore 54 Opposite of hor.

4/21/15

55 Kathryn of “Law & Order: C.I.” 57 Appropriate room for the sequence comprised of the starts of 18-, 27-, 47- and 59Across 58 Legal suspension 59 Family room 60 Soda container 61 Do-over on the court

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com FROM PAGE 1

APARTMENTS campus alluring, said Ethan Schollaert.

“Right now, I live [on campus]. It’s not much fun,” Schollaert, a sophomore neuroscience major, said. “I like the idea of living off-campus because of the freedom you have.”

While anyone can rent from Campus Advantage, the company will offer amenities like those offered by Pitt’s career services, such as job-seeking assistance and resumé seminars.

During finals week, Campus Advantage often provides students with tutors and snacks like hot chocolate, Duckett said.

To coordinate these amenities, also available at nearby universities, Campus Advantage partners with the universities. Through its building near Kent State University in Ohio called “Campus Pointe,” the company formed a “close working relationship” with the university, according to Duckett.

Campus Advantage plans to contact Pitt about a partnership, Duckett said, but Pitt spokesman John Fedele said the company hasn’t yet communicated plans.

The reason for the handbook, Duckett said, is that Campus Advantage seeks to create “living learning communities” in its buildings.

“As a national company, we want to be a safe living learning community, so we don’t tolerate illegal drug use,” Duckett said.

Other local companies said they do not have similar policies. A representative from Lobos Management, who would only give his first name, Ben, confirmed students aren’t required to sign a no-drug policy or obtain parents’ signatures on an agreement promising to pay the rent.

Forbes Management, another Pittsburghbased realtor, said, while tenants don’t sign an explicit no-illegal-drug-policy, students are required to obtain a cosigner if they aren’t paying, said its office administrator Suganya Rajendran.

Campus Advantage’s adherence to a residents’ handbook allows it to make efforts to work closely with neighboring universities.

“We also seek to develop a relationship with the university for judicial reasons,” Duckett said.

If a student living in one of Campus Advantage’s buildings violates the residents’ handbook, Campus Advantage may turn that student over to the university for punitive measures. Before Campus Advantage rents to a student, they perform a “thorough” background

check, according to Duckett.

The complex will include one story of street-level retail, three stories of parking with 110 spaces for cars and 75 spaces for bicycles above and nine stories of residential living. The complex will include one-, two- and three-bedroom apartments. Duckett said he could not speak to the cost of the apartments at this time.

Duckett said Campus Advantage is also working closely with Oakland Planning and Development Corporation to partner with the Oakland community.

Wanda Wilson, the executive director of OPDC, said OPDC met with Campus Advantage and is planning a community meeting to discuss the development on April 14. These meetings, Wilson said, are held “to make sure everyone in the community has an opportunity to comment.”

At the upcoming meeting, Duckett said, Campus Advantage wants community input on the stores or businesses to occupy the building.

“Obviously there’s a real estate transaction taking place, but we want the community to be involved,” Duckett said.

3 Kate Rakus, senior zoning planner for Pittsburgh’s Department of City Planning, said in an email Monday that Campus Advantage started the zoning process and will come before the Zoning Board of Adjustment on April 23 .

The new building will be approximately one block away from Forbes Hall, and Pitt shuttles, such as the 30B, will continue to stop nearby, according to Panther Central’s website. The site will also continue to be accessible via Pitt’s SafeRider.

“We have fun communities,” Duckett said, “but we also have respectful communities.”

4

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

EDITORIAL

OPINIONS

Childbearing a personal choice, not cultural obligation If you’re reading this, you should show gratitude — at least to some degree — to your parents for bringing you into this world. But how much does their care affect your future outcomes and successes?

Devoting time to your children is not a waste of time in regard to their futures their future success, according to Justin Wolfers, an economics professor at the University of Michigan. We can add to this dialogue by also reminding millennials that having children or not having children is a personal choice, one that we should all accept and tolerate without stringent, universal standards and norms.

Wolfers refuted a sociological study by professors at University of Toronto, Bowling Green State University and University of Maryland that argued there was no correlation between parents’ caretaking with children’s success. He broke down the study’s methodological shortcomings, such as following parents’ time with children for only two days and, thus, providing merely a snapshot, rather than a more comprehensive portrayal.

Interestingly, this debate on the role of parents and children allows us to reflect on many issues facing our generation’s stance on childbearing. Recent studies have found millennials are less interested in having children than previous generations. Often, the conversation is not on “how much time to spend,” but “who should spend it.”

In August 2013, TIME Magazine chronicled “The Childfree Life,” which discussed an all-time low American birth rate and the growing trend of adults

choosing not to have children.

The article is a reminder that adult decisions, especially about whether or not to have children, are personal choices — choices we should all respect.

Moreover, traditional domestic roles have changed as women continue to enter the workforce and work toward gender equality.

Sometimes, this means choosing not to reproduce, as men have yet to devote equal efforts to child-rearing and housework, according to a 2014 Emory University study.

Now, this is not to undermine the importance of parenting among those who choose to have children. We agree with Wolfers that the time parents spend with children is extremely important for a child’s growth and development.

Just as we should not shame individuals for choosing a childfree life, we should equally celebrate those who take the initiative of having any — or many — children.

Yet, because our current society relies on big data to analyze situations and decisions, we should use studies and statistics to decide between descendants and the “childfree life.” It’s important to study childrearing and remember it is of everyone’s concern.

Whether you already have children, know you want to or aren’t quite sure, remember that there is no need for universal conformity on the matter. We should all respect an individual’s decision to have or not to have children so that we may birth a society in which acceptance continues to thrive and tolerance continues to grow.

TNS

THE TALBERT REPORT

Facebook.gov: Legislating for the future

Eli Talbert Columnist There are few institutions that people hate more than Congress.

Congress is a deadlocked mess, fighting over everything from nominations to budgets.

According to an Economist/YouGov poll from March, 65 percent of Americans disapprove of Congress, while only 15 percent of Americans approve.

It is time to modernize and reform our ruling body that’s been around for 226 years. .

Although others might have a more sophisticated solution, mine is simple: Replace U.S. Congress with Facebook users.

For one, more adults would be involved since people log into Facebook more than walk into a precint. Pew Research estimates

that 57 percent of American adults use Facebook. That’s more than the 35.9 percent who voted in the last national election. Thus, the denizens of Facebook would make laws more representative of the United States. Sure, you might also get laws declaring a national holiday celebrating Grumpy Cat, and Buzzfeed might be the premier news organization, but more people would participate in the political process. Really, that’s all that you can ask for.

Facebook.gov would also solve a problem about which both political parties complain, but to which they both still contribute. In other words, there is no way to gerrymander Facebook. Instead of horribly misshapen districts that amplify the most conservative or liberal

votes, a shift to Facebook lets the most obnoxious individuals on both sides directly affect policy. You couldn’t put ultra liberals or ultra conservatives into gerrymandered Facebook districts. So for all those who are against a skewed electorate, look to Facebook.

With Facebook as the primary legislative body, even the casual, generally disinterested citizen can make a law, share it and then hope it passes, all with a few clicks.

This would take care of gridlock completely. Without the burdensome rules that have governed Congress for the history of our nation, popular laws could be passed in no time at all. These laws would automatically have a public forum

Talbert

5

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com FROM PAGE 4

TALBERT for comment and would be far shorter than the 381,517 words that make up the Affordable Care Act. Of course, users enacting such simple laws might have unexpected consequences and sow chaos, but at least political pundits can say we are getting something done.

Another benefit to Facebook.gov is corporations could more easily influence legislation.

THE PITT NEWS Natalie Daher Editor-in-Chief editor@pittnews.com

Harrison Kaminsky, News Editor news@pittnews.com

Matt Barnes, Opinions Editor letters@pittnews.com

Shawn Cooke, A&E Editor

aeeditors@gmail.com Chris Puzia, Sports Editor sports@pittnews.com

Theo Schwarz, Visual Editor photos@pittnews.com

Ellie Petrosky, Copy Chief tpncopydesk@gmail.com

Stephen Caruso, Layout Editor tpnlayout@gmail.com

Instead of circumventing the system with Super PACs, writing legislation and paying lobbyists, corporations could simply take advantage of Facebook’s sponsor feature and spam newsfeeds with bills they support. For example, Chevron could sponsor a bill that states “All current oil subsidies will continue for the 2016 fiscal year.” Or, alternatively, it could offer $5 to all Facebook users who vote for its bill and actually buy votes.

Admittedly, there would also be difficulties during the transition. For one, the 535 members of Congress would have to find new

E S T A B L I S HE D 1 9 1 0

Danielle Fox, Managing Editor manager@pittnews.com

Abbey Reighard, Assistant News Editor Dale Shoemaker, Assistant News Editor Courtney Linder, Assistant Opinions Editor Dan Sostek, Assistant Sports Editor Jeff Ahearn, Assistant Visual Editor Mason Lazarcheff, Multimedia Editor Jesse Irwin, Social Media Editor Sam McGinley, Assistant Copy Chief Emily Hower, Assistant Layout Editor

Copy Staff

Sarah Choflet Anjuli Das Kinley Gillette Johanna Helba Emily Maccia Sierra Smith

Bridget Montgomery Sarah Mejia Michelle Reagle Megan Zagorski Sydney Mengel Amanda Sobczak

5

jobs where they could declare themselves on break whenever they wish. Shifting the legislative process over to Facebook would also mean that the same people who share satire pieces as gospel truth and loudly claim that President Obama is not a citizen will have a direct say in writing laws. However, these are minor issues that could be remedied with a few choice laws by the new legislative body.

Replacing Congress is not a perfect idea.

It would not solve the problem of voter fraud that the liberal media and academic establishment, with their studies and investigations,

have repeatedly said was not a problem. It would not magically fix obnoxious grandstanding, such as the House Republicans’ 56 votes to overturn Obamacare. It would definitely not be constitutional. But it would be new, and there is nothing more American than newness. So make it happen. Go home, take out your laptop or smartphone and post all about it on Facebook.

Eli Talbert writes a biweekly satirical column for The Pitt News.

Write to Eli at ejt26@pitt.edu.

Editorial Policies Single copies of The Pitt News are free and available at newsstands around campus. Additional copies can be purchased with permission of the editor in chief for $.50 each.

Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the students, faculty or University administration. Opinions expressed in columns,- car toons and letters are not necessarily those of The Pitt News. Any letter - in tended for publication must be addressed to the editor, be no more than 250 words and include the writer’s name, phone number and University affiliation, if any. Letters may be sent via e-mail to letters@pittnews.com. The Pitt News reserves the right to edit any and all letters. In the event of multiple replies to an issue, The Pitt News may print one letter that represents the majority of responses. Unsigned editorials are a majority opinion of the Editorial Board, listed to the left.

The Pitt News is an independent, student-written and student-managed newspaper for the Oakland campus of the University of Pittsburgh. It is-pub lished Monday through Friday during the regular school year and Wednesdays during the summer.

Complaints concerning coverage by The Pitt News, after first being brought to the editors, may be referred to the Community Relations -Com mittee, Pitt News Advisory Board, c/o student media adviser, 435 William Pitt Union, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15260.

The editor in chief has the final authority on editorial matters and cannot be censored, according to state and federal law. The editor in chief is selected by the Pitt News Advisory Board, which includes University staff, - fac ulty and students, as well as journalism professionals. The business and edito rial offices of The Pitt News are located at 434 William Pitt Union, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15260.

advertising@pittnews.com

Kevin Vanover, Business Manager Advertising@pittnews.com

David Barr, Sales Manager advertising@pittnews.com

Account Executives David Barone Allison Soenksen Robert Capone Alex Kanner Antonio Blundo A.J. Campli Franny Tish Kaitlin Kramer

Marketing Manager Kristine Aprile

Ad Designer Mark Janavel Genna Gincel

Kelsey McConville, Inside Sales Manager advertising@pittnews.com

Senior University Account Executive Matt Reilly

Inside Sales Molly Emerick Victoria Hetrick Danielle Murphy

Digital Manager Stephen Ellis

Marketing Assistant Ally Stevens

6

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

ARTS and ENTERTAINMENT

Nate Smith | Staff Photographer

Earl Sweatshirt brought somber tunes and militant stage banter to Mr. Smalls Nick Mullen For The Pitt News

Earl Sweatshirt likes to keep things slightly somber. “Make the lights look like your cat just died,” he told the lighting technicians at Mr. Smalls Funhouse on Friday night. Honoring Earl’s request, the technicians dimmed the lights to a deep blue.

Unlike many rappers who infuse their lyrics with sincere passion, Earl’s tone is distinguishably withdrawn. Despite filling his lyrics with extended

metaphors and obscure references, Earl’s monotonic voice masks the sincerity of his lyrics, which sound indifferent on the surface, but upon closer inspection, reveal his investment.

Earl, who started his career at 16 years old as a part of the underground hip-hop collective Odd Future, performed his entire new solo album, I Don’t Like Sh*t, I Don’t Go Outside, which he released March 23 on Columbia Records. The album was a dark departure from his previous releases, with

more austere beats and focused messages. More than on past albums, Earl says exactly what he wants to say — and not much else — on the album that runs just under 30 minutes.

Earl’s new music focuses on his struggles, new and old. He’s never been shy about sharing his problems — from never knowing his father to the death of his grandmother. Now Earl is finding that he’s having trouble adjusting to fame. He misses his friends, and he feels like he doesn’t fit in anymore.

At M r.

Smalls, as a part of his Not Redy 2 Leave tour, he asked the audience, “How many people in here had a perfect week?”

When people raised their hands, he scoffed.

“How could you have had a perfect week? This song is for the actual humans out there.” Earl engaged the audience by showing that everyone —

Sweatshirt

7

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

DreamWorks’ latest far from a ‘Home’ run

Rihanna and Parsons give it their best, but can’t bring it “Home.” TNS

Jai-W Hayes-Jackson For The Pitt News “Home” Director: Tim Johnson Starring: Jim Parsons, Rihanna, Steve Martin and Jennifer Lopez Rated PG for mild action and some rude humor Grade: C+ Lately, intelligent animated flicks have spoiled us. Blockbusters “Frozen” and “Big Hero 6” came out to please children, as well as the parents they begged to take them there. But DreamWorks’ first movie of the year, “Home,” limits its appeal to the audience’s younger half with its broad screenplay and themes.

“Home,” which is based on Adam Rex’s children’s book “The True Meaning of Smekday,” is a lighthearted meditation on alienation and finding where we belong. A highly intelligent alien race known as the Boov, led by Captain Smek (Steve Martin), has come to Earth with the purpose of finding a new home while evading an evil alien race — the Gorgs. The Boovs gently displace humans to a refugee camp in Australia to avoid the Gorg invasion.

Oh (Jim Parsons), an oddball Boov who constantly makes mistakes, has done the unimaginable and sent an invitation to the Gorgs.

Tip (Rihanna), a sassy, human teenage girl who is also a bit of an oddball, evades relocation, but becomes separated from her mother Lucy (Jennifer Lopez). Oh and Tip come together to

find Tip’s mother and escape arrest by the Boov.

Both protagonists struggle with fitting in — Oh for being more fallible than other Boov and Tip for being a newcomer in a strange land.

They find rare solace and acceptance in each other, bonding over their differences. It also introduces the idea of liberation as uniformity — the film sheds light on how advanced civilizations replace individuality with technology and equivalence and, in turn, lose empathy and compassion for each other. The Boov think that they are liberating humans by introducing new technology, but, instead, they are taking away the things that make us human.

For fans of “The Big Bang Theory,” Jim Parsons’ humorous and super smart alien is eerily similar to his character on the show, Sheldon Cooper. Alongside Parsons, Rihanna showcases her voice-acting talent, bringing splashes of personality to a relatable character.

In spite of the film’s strong voice performances, its themes and writing strive for broad appeal, lacking sophistication or originality.

Although “Home” will provide a few laughs, it lacks tension and doesn’t stack up to the nuances and more daring concepts of other big animated titles such as “How to Train Your Dragon 2” or “Big Hero 6.” Unlike those recent hits, parents might find “Home” to be more generic and devoid of their intelligence.

“Home” strains to show that its themes of alienation and belonging are universal by stressing that even humans and aliens can get along. If only that universal appeal could extend across age lines.

FROM PAGE 6

SWEATSHIRT himself included — has problems.

Earl performed songs from his new album, including “DNA,” in which he references his struggles with fame, saying, “I’m here and I’m there/ And I’m up and I’m down/ And I’m low and I’m peakin’/ It’s cold in the deep end.” He also performed the only single from his new album, “Grief,” in which he raps about the vices that he indulged in after Doris was released in 2013, saying, “Lately I’ve been panicking a lot/ Feeling like I’m stranded in a mob/ Scrambling for Xanax out the canister to pop.”

Remy Banks, a rapper from Queens, N.Y., opened the performance with tracks from his upcoming project higher , which is due out this spring. After Banks’ performance, the crowd enthusiastically greeted Long Beach rapper Vince Staples, who performed songs from his latest, critically acclaimed EP, Hell Can Wait. Much like Earl Sweatshirt’s newer work, Vince Staples’ tone is very serious and focused. The beats

7 are bleak and feature siren noises, contrasting sounds and heavy bass.

The lyrics serve as both a portrayal of gang life and street violence, as well as a call for political activism against police brutality.

After Staples’ passionate set, he stuck around and performed some songs with Earl, including “Wool,” “Hive” and “Centurion.”

Despite the maturity of his recent material, Earl never forgets the antics and eccentricities that initially made him famous. He closed the set by playing songs from his 2010 mixtape Earl and took time in between songs to throw barbs at the audience . At one point, when he saw a number of enthusiastic fans crowd surfing, he called them out and said, “[Crowd surfers] look dumb as hell, like newborn babies having a grown man grab on you and hold you up. It’s not cool.”

It’s that spite that drew crowds to him in the first place. Even though he’s grown up now, fans can still see the idiosyncratic 16-year-old with dizzying lyrics and a promising ability.

8

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

COLUMN

SPORTS

Hope springs eternal: Bold predictions for a big season Stephen Caruso Contributing Editor

My fridge is full of hot dogs, and I’m listening to “Centerfield” on repeat, so you know baseball season is here. As the old adage says, you can’t predict baseball, but that doesn’t stop anyone from trying. Let me give it my best attempt and present you with some bold predictions for the coming season.

1) Alex Rodriguez will makes the best decision of his career.

As a Yankees fan, I have nothing to look forward to except realizing how bad retired former captain Derek Jeter’s range was after a routine play by Didi Gregorius during the first month of the season. The team has a few intriguing young guys, but every player the Bronx Bombers depend on is old, injuryprone or both, as exemplified by the star of almost 3,000 hits, Alex Rodriguez.

Oh, you didn’t know he was 61 hits away from joining the elusive “3,000 hit club”?

A-Rod is also potentially two months

PREVIEW

away from another career milestone.

With only 31 RBI, Rodriguez will have 2,000, joining Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth and Cap Anson as the only players to reach that figure in baseball history. Of course, it doesn’t guarantee baseball immortality, because the average fan likely doesn’t know who the hell Cap Anson is.

No, the defining moment of ARod’s season will come in mid-June.

Picture it. A-Rod scuffles at the plate — his critics are out in full force.

But then, on a warm summer night, with the Yankees down three and the bases loaded, Rodriguez steps up to bat.

The pitcher deals two quick strikes, and A-Rod looks like the 40-year-old he is. But then he fights back, working a 3-2 count. Grego- Could this be Alex Rodriguez’s final season in the big leagues?. TNS rius, on second base, steals the catchers slow curve falls into the dirt. Boos fill the the owner’s box, Hank and Hal Steinbrenner sign: fastball. A-Rod smiles. He cocks back stadium. Rodriguez smashes his bat down smile. and swings hard. and vows to retire immediately rather than Strike three! His bat only meets air as a play again out of sheer embarrassment. In Column 9

Recent success has Pirates poised for playoff push Jeremy Tepper Staff Writer For what felt like an endless time, it seemed that the Pirates would never find their buried treasure.

But after 20 years of losing, Pittsburgh’s local ball club has compiled consecutive winning seasons. After making the playoffs two years straight, the Pirates have turned themselves into a World Series contender, as hopes for a parade Downtown sit at an all-time high.

There’s considerable hype surrounding the Pittsburgh baseball club, as national media begins to expect postseason success. Buster Olney, a predominant baseball writer for ESPN, picked the Pirates to win the World Series, among others.

The hype is for good reason, though.

Gerrit Cole will be a key contributor to the Pirates’ rotation this season. TNS

Spearheading the Pirates is centerfielder Andrew McCutchen, who is fresh off placing third for National League MVP after winning it the previous year.

Simply put, McCutchen excels on the baseball diamond. He can hit, run and field — he’s blossomed into one of the game’s best players.

To the left and right of McCutchen are two young, highly talented outfielders in Starling Marte and Gregory Polanco.

Marte, 26, finished the season scorching at the plate, hitting .348 with a .975 OPS after the All-Star break.

Marte plays some of the game’s best defense in left field and stole 30 and 41 bases the past two seasons, respectively.

Polanco is the wild card, and he is the key cog that can transform the Pirates

Pirates

9

April 7, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com FROM PAGE 8

COLUMN With his retirement, the Yankees save $60 million, which Yankees’ GM Brian Cashman instead hands over to new team captain Gregorius in the form of an extension.

Within the decade, he leads the Yankees to three more World Series wins.

2) The San Diego Padres miss the playoffs.

After adding top-tier major league talent in the form of James Shields, Matt Kemp and Justin Upton, the Padres appear set to make the playoffs. They begin the season looking poised for a postseason run and are one game ahead of the Dodgers at the All-Star break.

Dodgers manager Don Mattingly is close to getting fired when he hatches an ingenious plan: facial hair. As a Yankee, he was never allowed to grow his already prodigious mustache into a full beard because of insanely rigid codes of conduct instituted by the late George Steinbrenner. With his back against the wall, he grows one and encourages his players to do the same. The

T P N S U D O K U

camaraderie the facial hair provides is irreplaceable. On Aug. 1, the Dodgers trade for feared, facial-haired Mike Napoli and then hire James Harden as a personal beard trainer.

The Dodgers sweep the Padres in their September matchups, as their peach-fuzzed faces are no match for the bearded bums of Los Angeles. The Dodgers then face the Nationals in the NLDS. However, in preparation, the hardthrowing Washington rotation takes lessons from a local barbershop. The seasoned barbers schooled the star-studded rotation on how to use their smoking 100-plus-mileper-hour fastballs to expertly clip and singe the beards off the Dodgers until nothing but baby faces remain.

3) The Astros are this year’s Royals.

Though most so-called “experts” peg the Astros as a few years away from contention, I know better. Using Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver’s formula of “pitching, defense and the three-run homer,” the Astros will make the playoffs.

They will launch 200 home runs as a team — while striking out 1,500 times.

Evan Gattis and Chris Carter will quickly

Today’s difficulty level: Hard Puzzles by Dailysudoku.com

become the lovable mascots of the scrappy team, each hitting 50 homers in a league so starved for offense that Ryan Howard is still considered a starter.

For pitching, Nolan Ryan will become the first player-owner since Pittsburgh’s own Mario Lemieux, taking over the role of ace at 68-years-young and still throwing hard enough to guilt you into exercising more.

He, with Dallas Keuchel and Collin McHugh, lead an underrated staff that always gives up one less run then the offense provides.

As for defense, José Altuve will turn out to be the real life Ant-Man, using his sizeshifting ability to cover the whole field by himself, giving the rest of a defensivelychallenged team a break.

The team will easily make it to the World Series, only to lose to a most unexpected opponent.

4) The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

The Chicago Cubs finally break their 100year string of bad luck with — wait, I can’t do it. This is just too over the top.

I’ll have to amend my prediction.

Nationals over the Mariners in six. Let’s play ball!

9 FROM PAGE 8

PIRATES outfield into the best in the MLB. The young Dominican Republic native is one of the MLB’s true five-tool players and is ranked accordingly by Baseball America as a prospect, earning a top-five rating from the publication before meriting a midseason call-up.

The 23-year-old got off to a singing start to his career upon his call-up before falling into a deep slump, and he eventually found himself back down in the minors. The Pirates, though, placed their faith in Polanco, as they’ve supplied him with slim competition in right field.

These three will largely dictate the Pirates’ success on offense, which scored the 10th-most runs in the MLB, while posting the third-highest on-base percentage.

At second and third base are two players who the Pirates hope can repeat their 2014 performances.

Read the rest online at Pittnews.com.