Rental Guide Fall 2019 (Part 2)

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satire

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF RICARDO, MY SOUTH OAKLAND HOUSE MOUSE

Allison Dantinne

Senior Staff Columnist Ricardo the South Oakland House Mouse begins his day as all South Oakland mice do. He sits on my broken kitchen table — despite the hazard of the glass shards poking through the wicker — staring at me, standing his ground. That’s right — all South Oakland mice, after years of knowing and living among you, will stand their ground. I turn on the light, only looking to fill my water bottle and head to the gym and begin my day with the extra shot of endorphins my body so desperately needs, and yet I find Ricardo perched on the table, on top of the reusable Trader Joe’s bags. He used to scurry away when I turned on the light. Now he looks at me, expecting that we will coexist. I fill my water bottle and, taking one last glance at him, still on the table, turn off the kitchen lights and leave the house. We do coexist, Ricardo and I. He used to run at the sound of footsteps on the hardwood, used to burrow himself behind the washing machine. Now there is a shared knowledge that we both live here. An intimacy, if you will. I do not know when mice sleep, but I do know that they are usually awake by 6 a.m. After this encounter, Ricardo goes about his day. He begins by climbing on top of the boxes of iced tea cans, hopping over to the bag full of bags we keep on the back door handle, launches himself onto the lunch box, which we do not know where we found or why we display, and continues on his way, walking around our exposed pantry shelves. He spots a box of fire-roasted tomato Triscuits, which he must know are my favorite, and thinks to himself that today is a good time to put some more work into his project — chewing through the Triscuit box so that he may chew through the bag inside

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the box so that he may eat the fire-roasted tomato Triscuits and leave me with a tub of sun-dried tomato hummus and nothing to dip in it, ruining my dual tomato-flavored snack. Ricardo is both quick and cunning. I believe he is a Slytherin. I do not know what he thinks he is, or if such arbitrary categorizations as Hogwarts houses

to wander through my shoes and long dresses while I shower. Then I leave Ricardo and head to class. I assume he does not miss me, as he is a mouse going about his own life with his own prerogative, and may not understand what it means to “miss” someone. I cannot be sure what he does while I am gone,

Promiti Debi | staff illustrator are of any interest to him. But as a Slytherin myself, I respect that. After chewing at the Triscuit box, he leaves the pantry shelves and moves on to his next task — running between my dresser and my closet as I yell, “Ricardo!” at 7:30 a.m. to no one but myself and a mouse who may not be sure he has a name. This continues for about five minutes, until I leave him

though I have ideas. Ricardo may return to the pantry and work his way into the knock-off Thin Mints I bought at Aldi. He may sit on top of the ramen packets. He may return to the broken table and navigate through the glass so he can hop on the counter. He may then hide behind the radiator in this weird hole we have between the cabinets and the dishwasher, which

November 14, 2019

only contains a brick that came with the house and a small bin of dirty rags. He may play in the dirty rags. He may take a nap behind the radiator in the bathroom. If I were Ricardo, I would want to take a nap behind the radiator in the bathroom. When I return for the day, I see Ricardo staring at me from behind the bag of avocados on the counter. Ricardo the House Mouse does not care about the price of avocados, namely the two avocados sat on my kitchen counter, next to the stove, so that they could ripen and I could make avocado pesto. He doesn’t care that Giant Eagle has the audacity to charge $3 for 2 avocados, as though I will not still purchase these avocados even though I cannot afford them. But Ricardo, just strolling on past my avocados, dipping behind the stove, does not have any respect for the money I spend on needless fruits. I fume. He is far too close to my avocados for comfort. I throw the avocados in the garbage. I eat pasta with pesto sauce from the jar and it is not as good. I put aside my anger, reminding myself that it must be hard to be Ricardo, the South Oakland House Mouse, who just lost his other mouse friend, Jordan, who got stuck in a box of saltines and was then forcibly thrown, while still inside the box of saltines, out into the cobblestone street. He is going through the loss of a loved one. It must be hard to go about your day without friends. Then Ricardo hides under the couch and, I assume, falls asleep, exhausted by his antics, preparing for another day of slinking around the empty wine bottles next to the refrigerator and hiding behind the toilet while I brush my teeth. Sleep well, Ricardo. Sleep well.

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UNIVERSITY LAUNCHES INTERIM CLOSURE POLICY FOR THIS WINTER

Rebecca Johnson

Staff Writer One day after the first significant snowfall on campus, Pitt announced a new interim policy for severe weather closures that includes more University administrators than just the chancellor in the decision to partially or fully cancel classes. Chancellor Patrick Gallagher said at Wednesday’s Senate Council meeting that a University as large a Pitt has many people to consider before issuing a closing, warranting the creation of a new policy. He referenced a line from the popular “Game of Thrones” television show in his remarks. “As the saying goes, ‘Winter is coming,’” Gallagher said. “We didn’t want to enter the winter weather season without issuing at least some improvement or guidance from last year.” Amidst a polar vortex with wind chills as cold as 20 below zero and a petition started by sophomore Taylor Tomlinson with more than 8,500 signatures demanding Pitt cancel classes, the University closed on Jan. 30 last winter. The Senate Council discussed this updated policy from the Department of Safety and Emergency Management, updates on new initiatives triggered by the AAU Campus Climate Survey and other important campus topics Wednesday afternoon in Posvar Hall. Pitt’s new weather closure policy, finalized this Monday, allows the chancellor, with consultation from other ad-

ministrators, to close the University for either a full day or just part of a day. For a full-day closure or a morning partial-day closure, the University will make a decision by 6:00 a.m., or by noon for an afternoon partial-day closure. The former policy permitted the chancellor, with no outside consultation, to make a decision

gives discretion to each school’s dean for determining the ramifications students face for missing class because of severe weather conditions. The policy has not yet undergone a complete review by the University’s Office of Policy Development and Management, as required. “I wanted to emphasize it’s an interim

to completely review it.” The Council also discussed revisions to another policy impacting students — how Pitt determines in-state residency status. Tom Hitter, the assistant vice chancellor for policy development, said this revised policy clarifies a financial aid system that many students and parents found confusing. “The purpose of the policy is to establish the criteria used to classify a student as a Pennsylvania resident and non-resident for tuition purposes,” Hitter said. “[...] according to feedback the University received, the policy, as previously written, was confusing and hard for students to navigate.” Hitter added that the new policy was meant to better explain existing criteria, rather than introduce new ones. “A large effort of the rewrite was reorganizing and rewriting it to make it more usable and transparent for students and parents,” Hitter said. “It’s not introducing any new requirements that did not previously exist. It’s only restating it.” When asked about residency status for students living in Pittsburgh for yearPitt announced a new interim policy for severe weather closures on Wednes- round, Beth Stack, the associate vice day. The new policy allows the chancellor to close the University as a result chancellor for student financial services, of severe weather with consultation from other administrators. Joy Cao | staff said living in Pennsylvania for a full year photographer does not necessarily mean students meet about class cancellation. policy designed to clarify how we ap- the requirements for in-state status. They Gallagher said the policy is still con- proach decisions. A lot of the guidance is are instead designated by the University sidered interim because there is not a part specific across different programs,” as a student studying in Pennsylvania unified closure policy across all of Pitt’s Gallagher said. “It’s labeled interim be- rather than a resident of Pennsylvania. different schools. The new interim policy cause there’s a policy group that’s looking See Senate on page 19

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Senate, pg. 18 “Just because a student has resided in the Commonwealth for 12 months, if they are attending school, that means to us they will continue their classification as an out-of-state student,” Stack said. “This is until they stop attending school or their personal circumstances change as they can demonstrate.” Gallagher also provided an update on Pitt’s ongoing response to the mid-October release of a report by the Association of American Universities detailing sex-

ual misconduct and assault on 33 campuses across the country, including Pitt. At the time of its release, Gallagher wrote in a campus-wide email that the results of the report show that Pitt’s current efforts to prevent these actions are “insufficient.” He also announced the University would begin a new community-driven response to the problem. He reiterated at the meeting that the University is making up to $250,000 available for faculty and staff to support “innovative solutions” for preventing

sexual misconduct on campus. While Gallagher said he is looking forward to seeing the community’s ideas for sexual assault prevention, he wants a system designed to assess the success of Pitt’s programs and grants. “I’m looking forward to seeing what the community comes up with,” Gallagher said. “We want a framework for accountability so we can access our progress without waiting episodically for campus climate surveys.” Anthony Verardi, a graduate student representative from the Dietrich School

of Arts and Sciences, said while he appreciates Pitt’s current efforts, he wants more focus from the University on reducing the number of incidents of sexual assault rather than funding research initiatives. “My constituents want to make it unequivocally clear that the University’s response findings of the AAU report must go beyond providing support for research initiatives on sexual misconduct,” Verardi said. “Directed messaging outlining concrete intended actions would be welcome.”

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The Pitt News Editor-in-Chief JANINE FAUST

Managing Editor CAROLINE BOURQUE manager@pittnews.com

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Maggie Young | Assistant Copy Chief

Jon Moss | Assistant News Editor Eri Guthrie | Assistant News Editor Maggie Durwald | Assistant Opinions Editor Stephen Thompson | Assistant Sports Editor Thomas Yang | Assistant Visual Editor Knox Coulter | Multimedia Editor

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Editorial Policies

Single copies of The Pitt News are free and available at newsstands around campus. Additional copies can be purchased with permission of the editor-in-chief for $.50 each. Opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the students, faculty or University administration. Opinions expressed in columns, cartoons and letters are not necessarily those of The Pitt News. Any letter intended for publication must be addressed to the editor, be no more than 250 words and include the writer’s name, phone number and University affiliation, if any. Letters may be sent via e-mail to editor@pittnews. com. The Pitt News reserves the right to edit any and all letters. In the event of multiple replies to an issue, The Pitt News may print one letter that represents the majority of responses. Unsigned editorials are a majority opinion of the Editorial Board, listed to the left. The Pitt News is an independent, student-written and

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student-managed newspaper for the Oakland campus of the University of Pittsburgh. It is published Monday through Friday during the regular school year and Wednesdays during the summer. Complaints concerning coverage by The Pitt News, after first being brought to the editors, may be referred to the Community Relations Committee, Pitt News Advisory Board, c/o student media adviser, 435 William Pitt Union, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15260. The editor-in-chief has the final authority on editorial matters and cannot be censored, according to state and federal law. The editor-in-chief is selected by the Pitt News Advisory Board, which includes University staff, faculty and students, as well as journalism professionals. The business and editorial offices of The Pitt News are located at 434 William Pitt Union, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa. 15260.

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A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood (R) Thu: 4:45, 7:00, 9:25 Ford v Ferrari (PG-13) No passes through 12/1/19 Fri - Tue: 1:10, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55 Wed: 1:10, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55 Thu: 1:10, 4:05, 7:00, 9:55 Jojo Rabbit (PG-13) No passes through 11/24/19 Fri: 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Sat & Sun: 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Mon & Tue: 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Wed: 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Thu: 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 The Lighthouse (R) 2:55 7:30 Fri: 2:55, Sat & Sun: 12:40, 2:55, 7:30 Mon & Tue: 2:55, 7:30 Wed: 2:55, 7:30 Thu: 2:30 PM Parasite (R) Fri: 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50 Sat & Sun: 11:25 AM, 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50 Mon & Tue: 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50 Wed: 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50 Thu: 2:00, 4:35, 7:10, 9:50 Pain and Glory (R) Fri - Tue: 5:10, 9:45 Wed: 5:10, 9:40, 7:00, 9:20

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True Love 1. Why was there explosive growth of Chrissanity in the ďŹ rst century despite intense persecuuon by the Roman Empire? 2. Were the martyred Apostles powerful eye-witnesses to the Resurreccon or were they Liars? 3. Does your soul, the source of your life, have an eternal dessny? Catholic Mens Fellowship St. Paul of the Cross Parish pittnews.com

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CLEMSON’S SINGLE SEMIFINAL SCORE DOOMS PITT IN ACC TOURNAMENT Dominic Campbell

Senior Staff Writer No. 4-seeded Pitt and No. 1-seeded Clemson rocked back and forth to the very end in a competitive ACC tournament semifinal matchup. A single score in the 44th minute for Clemson proved too much for Pitt, which lost 1-0 in South Carolina Wednesday night. With the win, the Tigers (16-1-1 overall) will move onto the ACC Championship game this Sunday against No. 2-seeded Virginia, which defeated Wake Forest 1-0 in the earlier semifinal match. Despite the loss, the Panthers (9-7-2 overall) set new program records by making it to the semifinal stage in the ACC tournament. From kickoff, Clemson ramped up the pressure and got the first chance within the first 20 seconds, as junior forward Kimarni Smith shot wide left. Tigers sophomore forward Grayson Barber had another clear chance in the sixth minute after shaking Panthers’ first-year forward Lucas Cyriacus, but his pass was snuffed out by first-year defender Arturo Ordonez. Pitt got their first chance from junior forward Alexander Dexter whose shot in the ninth minute was easily scooped by sophomore goalkeeper George Marks. Clemson continued on the attack in the 10th minute, with junior defender Justin Malou delivering a smooth, arcing cross to Smith, whose header ended up going wide left for a goal kick. The Tigers had their best chance of the half to take the lead in the 29th minute with first-year Phillip Mayaka shooting from outside the box, but his shot hit the right goal post. Redshirt first-year forward James Brighton then got the ball right in front of goal, but his rebound sailed over the goal. On the other end of the field, Pitt got its best chance of the first half from firstyear midfielder Valentin Noel, whose first shot was blocked and whose next shot was sent way over the goal in the 42nd minute. Mayaka joined Noel in shooting his next shot way over the goal less than

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Despite the 1-0 loss to Clemson in South Carolina Wednesday night, the Panthers set new records by making it to the semifinal stage in the ACC tournament for the first time in program history. Joy Cao | staff photographer a minute later. Clemson finally broke the deadlock in the 44th minute, scoring the opening goal to take the lead just before halftime. The play was started with first-year defender Oskar Agren delivering a beautiful long ball to senior midfielder Tanner Dieterich, who made a delicate chest down pass to first-year midfielder Mohamed Seye. Then Seye, fresh off the bench, sent redshirt junior goal keeper Arie Ammann the wroang way and slotted the ball into the back of the net. The halftime stats showed just how dominant the Tigers were in the first half. They tallied 10 shots and six corners to the Panthers’ four shots and two corners. They also doubled up Pitt in shots on goal, by a margin of four to two in the opening period.

After having his shot blocked in the 48th minute, Mayaka almost scored the second goal of the game in the 54th minute as he flicked the ball up to himself and volleyed it just wide right of goal. The first real chance for the Panthers in the second half was a corner kick in the 61st minute by first-year midfielder Veljko Petkovic right on the head of Ordonez that went right at Marks for a save. Clemson threatened again soon after with another attack in the 62nd minute. Barber’s shot was deflected and forced Ammann to hit it out for a corner. Both teams traded shots over a fiveminute period. A Seye shot was blocked in the 73rd minute, then first-year forward Josh Hesson’s own in the 76th minute from outside the box, falling right to Marks for the save. Seye had another shot

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blocked in the 77th minute and then Panthers’ senior midfielder Braden Kline had his shot blocked in the 78th minute. The Panthers were led by Noel, who recorded three shots on goal. He was followed closely by Hesson and Cyriacus, who collected two each. Ammann turned in a strong performance in goal with four saves. But Ammann’s lone blemish was ultimately the most costly play of the match. Seye’s decisive goal sent the Panthers packing and halted their historic tournament run. This loss puts the Panthers out of the ACC tournament, but it doesn’t mean their season is over just yet. Their run to the ACC semifinals strengthens their claim for an NCAA Tournament bid. The Panthers will learn the fate of their postseason position this Monday.

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I N D E X

Rentals & Sublet • NORTH OAKLAND • SOUTH OAKLAND • SHADYSIDE • SQUIRREL HILL • SOUTHSIDE • NORTHSIDE • BLOOMFIELD • ROOMMATES • OTHER

For Rent North Oakland Starting at $775.00. Studio, 1 , and 2 bed­room. 3 Min walk to Pitt! 1, 2 and 4 bed­room units also avail­able in North Oak­land. For more infor‑ mation call us at 412‑586‑7575

South Oakland ** 3 Bedroom Town­house, fire‑ place, LAUNDRY, DISH­WASHER, off street parking, patio, yard, clean. Partially Fur­nished. Located on Blvd of Allies & Dawson Street. PITT Shuttle stop, only 15 minute to PITT CMU. $1995+. Avail­able 8/1/2020. NO PETS. Coolapart­ments@ gmail.com video tour at tinyurl.­com/blvdo‑ fallies ** 5 Bedroom/2 full bath; HUGE HOME‑ duplex style, three sto‑ ries. COM­PLETELY REMOD­ELED, 2 living rooms, 2 kitchens, 2 dining rooms, LAUN­DRY, DISH­WASHER and a huge yard to enjoy!

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Employment • CHILDCARE • FOOD SERVICES • UNIVERSITY • INTERNSHIPS • RESEARCH • VOLUNTEERING • OTHER

Huge Bedrooms! Located on Dawson Street. PITT Shuttle stops di­rectly in front of house, only 15 minute level walk to PITT/CMU. $3,595­+. Available 8/1/2020. NO PETS. Call Jason at 412‑922‑2141. Pic‑ tures‑ Info: tinyurl. com/­dawsonhome ***AUGUST 2020: Furnished studios, 1, 2 and 3 bedroom apartments. No pets. Non‑smokers pre­ ferred. 412‑621‑0457. 1‑2‑3‑4‑5 Bedroom apartments/houses. Rents starting at $650 for 1BR. May or Au­gust availability. 412‑999‑2124 1‑2‑3‑4‑6 bedroom apartments and houses available for August 2020. Owner Managed. 40+ years on campus. Fully fur­ nished or unfur­nished, most units are newly remodeled Kitchens and baths , located on Atwood, Semple, Oakland Ave., Ward, Mckee Place, Juliet and Parkview Ave. Call or text Tim @ 412‑491‑1330 www.­ TMKRentals.com 115 Chesterfield Road ‑ nice 3‑bed­ room house. 1.5 bathrooms. Laundry in unit. Recently re­modeled. Parking.­

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Good location, close to Cathedral of Learning. Rent $1300/month + utili­ ties. Available Feb. 1st 2020. 412‑881‑05 50/412‑584‑2665/412‑ 692‑1770 2 BR 1 BA on cam­pus bus route. Avail­able immediately. $750/ month includ­ing utilities and ca­ble. On street park­ing. No pets. 412‑576‑8734 2‑3‑4‑5‑6‑7 bedroom apartments and houses available in May and August 2020. Nice, clean, free laundry, in­ cludes exterior main‑ tenance, new appli‑ ances, spa­cious, and located on Semple, Oak­land Ave., Mey‑ ran Ave., Welsford, Bates, Dawson, and Mckee 412‑414‑9629. douridaboud­ propertymanage­ ment.com 2‑6 bedroom. All newly renovated, air‑conditioning, dish­washer, washer/ dryer, and parking. Most units on busline and close to Pitt. Avail­able Summer 2020. 412‑915‑0856 or email klucca@veri­ zon.net. 3 BD apartments available in South Oakland from $1195‑$1600 M.J. Kelly Real Estate mjkellyrealty@gmail.­ com. 412‑271‑5550. 3211 Juliet Street. 2 Bedroom 1 Bath available immedi­ ately at $900 per month, includes all

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utilities. Great 2‑level apartment lo­cated on the second floor. Newly remod­eled and new carpet. Two person max. Call 412‑608‑8581. 3BR, 2BA furnished apartment. Dawson Street. Spacious bed­ rooms, living room, dining room, kitchen. Washer & dryer in unit. Free parking available. Pitt bus stops at door. $1500/ mo. + all utilities. 412‑818‑9735 4 BR HOME ‑ SEM­PLE STREET, LO­CATED NEAR LOUISA. EQUIPPED KITCHEN, FULL BASEMENT. NEW CENTRAL AIR ADDED. AVAIL­ ABLE IMMEDI­ ATELY AND RENT­ING FOR MAY AND AUGUST 2020. 412‑ 343‑4289 or 412‑330‑9498. 416 Oakland Ave., Garden Court. Bright and spacious 2BR, 1BA. Hardwood floors, laundry. Move May 1 or Au­ gust 1, 2020. Call 412‑361‑2695. Apartments for rent. 3 and 4 bedroom apart‑ ments available. Some available on Dawson Street, At­wood Street, and Mc­kee Place. Newly re­modeled. Some have laundry on site. Min­utes from the Univer­sity. For more info please call Mike at 412‑849‑8694 Before signing a lease, be aware that no more than 3 unre­lated people can share a

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Two business days prior by 3pm | Email: advertising@pittnews.com | Phone: 412.648.7978

single unit. Check property’s compliance with codes. Call City’s Per­mits, Licensing & In­spections. 412‑255‑2175. Dawson Village Apts. near CMU and Pitt. One bedroom apts. $935 + electric. Avail‑ able for immedi­ate move in. On bus line, close to restau­rants and shops. Contact Jerry at 412‑722‑8546 For Rent: 340 S Bou­ quet Street Pgh Pa 15213 3 bedrooms/1 bath/­ cental air/ laundry on site Contact John at 412‑292‑8928 Hudson Oakland Apartments. 2BD 1BA Located on Craft Ave, Semple St, & Cable Pl. $1,300‑ $1,495/month +elec­ tric. Within walking distance to Pitt. Tel: (412) 407‑9001 x.1 www.hudson‑oakland.­ com Now renting for Fall 2020. Apartments and houses of all sizes. Conveniently located throughout South Oakland. Rents start‑ ing as low as $620. John C.R. Kelly Re‑ alty. 412‑683‑7300 www.jcrkelly.com Oakland Court‑ 2 bedroom house, 1.5 bathrooms. Air con­ ditioning. Laundry in unit. Newly remo­ dled. Good location, close to Hillman Li­ brary. Rent is $800/ month + utili­ties. Available November 15th 2019. Call 412‑ 881‑0550/412‑584‑26

November 14, 2019

65/412‑692‑1770 Parkview Ave and Blv of the Allies. Nice. 3BD 2.5 BA. Rent 1500+ utilities. Laun‑ dry in Unit. Available Aug 10th 2020. Call 412‑881‑0550/412‑58 4‑2665/412‑692‑1770 Share spacious, fur­nished apart‑ ment, S. Oakland. Living room, dining room, Washer/dryer in­cluded. $650/mo. Rent includes gas, electric, and wa­ter/ sewage 412‑818‑9735 South Oakland Houses and Apart­ ments with Laundry and Central Air Call or Text 412‑38‑Lease

Squirrel Hill 3 BD, 1 1/2 BA town­house, on bus line. Se­niors and grad stu­dents. Call 412‑281‑2700 Avail‑ able Now!

Employment Employment Other Comfort Keepers, a Post‑Gazette Top Workplace 2019, is seeking caring indi­ viduals to provide companionship, light housekeeping and personal care to se­niors. We offer FLEXIBLE hours and great bene­fits. Please call 412‑363 5500 to schedule an inter­ view NOW!

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