26 THE PLANT
HOROSCOPES Happy birthday to every child eclipsed by Jesus this month. You are not forgotten. ARIES (mar. 20 - apr. 18): Do you feel wronged by the stars? Are you in the type of mood that makes you want to cause everyone to cry tears of lead? Your emotions are valid, Aries. Do what it takes to feel better about the way your life has aligned recently. No one will blame you. TAURUS (apr. 19 - may 20): This December, try something new. Go to a dance class, become a bird-watching specialist, ask someone out, commit tax fraud. It could help you feel something in the midst of this intense seasonal-depression-end-of-semester-sadness cocktail. Thrills and chills, Taurus—make this month your own. GEMINI (may 21 - june 20): You’re trying to make the right decision, but the wrong choice is still calling at you. This month will be an exercise in willpower and restraint. You know what is best for you, fight the urge to choose the self-destructive option— no matter how fun it may be. CANCER (june 21 - july 22): The hurt from these past few weeks might be hard to keep underneath the surface this December: time with family, friends, and lovers may remind you of what you’ve lost. Seek comfort above all else. Eat mashed potatoes on a ceramic tile floor at 2AM, lurk in alleyways with your dog, wrap yourself in 17 layers of blankets. Whatever works for you. LEO (july 23 - aug. 22): Trust only your own instincts this month. Your friends have the best intentions, but they might be too wrapped up in the frantic energy of December to properly give counsel to you. Whatever you do, do not trust your horoscopes . VIRGO (aug. 23 - sept. 22): December will be incredibly happy for you. You’ve been waiting for this break from school with many goals for the break and your ambitions will pay off. It’s a good moment to forge new connections, take care of old ones, and steal some from your next-door neighbors. LIBRA (sept.23 - oct. 22): Let yourself dream. You’ve had an incredibly realistic mindset this year, and though it has gotten you through, it has also kept your moral incredibly neutral. You deserve to be the optimistic dreamer, to be the ambitious believer. Anything is possible if you can just think of it.
SCORPIO (oct. 23 - nov. 21): Change is going to come whether you like it or not, Scorpio, but you choose how you deal with it, and the yearning to unsettle everyone by making changes about yourself as drastic as the ones about your situation is good. Go goth, sing opera in a misty swamp. Do you. If the people in your life cannot deal with it, change their status in your life, too. SAGITTARIUS (nov. 22 - dec. 21) : Family might tend to get under your skin this holiday season. They might ask questions they shouldn’t ask or make snide comments. Remember: you do not have to maintain peace for the sake of other people at your own expense. Stand up for yourself and most importantly, do not feel bad for it. CAPRICORN (dec.22 - jan. 19): If it feels like life might open its mouth and swallow you up, don’t despair. It means you are taking on many things at once and moving quickly towards bigger, better things. You will not be digested, I promise—though you might get chewed a little bit. Forgive life for it. AQUARIUS (jan. 20 - feb. 18): If your emotions have been jumbling your mind lately and you’ve found yourself in desperate need of your logical side, it might be time to set aside your emotions. I give you permission to press pause on them until the end of the semester. I find the best way to do this is to sink into the cold ocean for several minutes—but do as you will. I believe in you. PISCES (feb. 19 - mar. 19) : You can achieve that goal you’ve set for yourself—if only you start giving that goal the same amount of importance as you give other people’s goals. It is not your job to help everyone carry through their own plans, and you’re allowed to focus on yourself. Keep this in mind as the holiday season approaches.
