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Their Best, Their Brightest Lawyers defending the Illinois teen charged with shooting three protesters in Kenosha, Wisconsin (killing two of them), are portraying their client as a national hero. “Kyle Rittenhouse will go down in American history” with other patriots, tweeted one of his attorneys, adding “A Second American Revolution against Tyranny has begun.” In a television appearance, the attorneys called Rittenhouse a “shining symbol of the American fighting spirit.”

It’s a Birdbrain, It’s a Plain Idiot, It’s Donald Trump! President Donald Trump repeatedly proposed to staff that, on leaving Walter Reed military hospital where he received treatment after contracting COVID-19, he wanted to rip open his button-down dress shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt. ReportedThe New York Times, “He ultimately did not go ahead with the stunt.”

In Other Words, He’s Lying A federal judge threw out a defamation lawsuit against Fox News host Tucker Carlson, accepting the network’s defense that “no reasonable viewer” would take what he says seriously. “This ‘general tenor’ of the show,” the judge agreed, should “inform a viewer that [Carlson] is not ‘stating actual facts’ about the topics he discusses and is instead engaging in ‘exaggeration’ and ‘non-literal commentary.’ ”

To Serve and Protect Florida police arrested a seventy-four-year-old dementia patient after she wandered from her nursing home. They locked her up in jail for a week on a warrant issued a decade earlier because she failed to take a two-hour online course required as part of a DUI conviction. The woman, Gwen Donahue, had paid fines and performed community service associated with the case. “My mom has no priors, she’s just this little old Catholic lady,” said her daughter. Wonder No More Hailed by President Trump as “the eighth wonder of the world,” a heavily subsidized Wisconsin production plant owned by the Taiwanese electronics giant Foxconn was supposed to create up to 13,000 jobs. In fact, through the end of 2019, the plant had hired just 281 people, who, according to a report by The Verge, served merely to secure tax credits and “sat in their cubicles watching Netflix.” And many of these workers “have since been laid off.”

The Right to Prohibit Marriage Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito kicked off the U.S. Supreme Court’s current term by complaining in a filing that a narrow court majority in 2015 had wrongly “read a right to same-sex marriage into the Fourteenth Amendment.” They said this ruling “enables courts and governments to brand religious adherents who believe that marriage is between one man and one woman as bigots, making their religious liberty concerns that much easier to dismiss.”

ILLUSTRATIONS BY STUART GOLDENBERG

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