SAVING HER SOUL

“Being a mom changes the center of your gravity,” says Jewel, who has a 9-year-old son, Kase. “I’m really glad I had the tools I did before I became a mom, because perfectionism, you can get away with in your career, but as a parent it’s horrible. Getting to teach my son emotional and mindfulness skills, and how to breathe and observe his own behaviors has been really fun. And our kids need it now more than ever.”

Ray Rogers: Hi, Jewel. What part of the world are you in? boss and he wouldn’t give me my paycheck. I was living Jewel: I’m in the Rocky Mountains, up high in the in my car, and then my car got stolen. I ended up writing mountains on a sunny and delightful day. Fall colors songs because I was stealing a lot, and I tried to replace are just starting to come. that behavior with writing. I started singing in a coffee shop RR: I know wellness is very important to you. What would is th at I almost didn’t sign my record deal because I figured you say is your wellness philosophy? that if you take somebody with my emotional background J: Hmm. In three words or less? My and you add, god forbid, fame to the wellness philosophy would be to consider our education of what it takes “ I was homeless, so mix, that’s ever been what every movie that’s made is about, with every to learn to be a comes through whole human. Wellness harmony, not balance. I thought, ‘What can musician. And again, I didn’t want to be a statistic. I didn’t think I could Balance means you have to keep everything the same, these two scales; I be grateful about?’ handle public scrutiny, because I was so emotionally dysfunctional still. it’s an impossible proposition. But when you think in terms of harmony, there are Then I saw the sun And I So knew it. I made a promise to myself: I multiple elements that you want to bring coming through would make being a happy, whole int o harmony. If you look at wellness, human my No. 1 job. And No. 2 would where you’re trying to bring multiple the trees and it was be to be a musician. And if I promised systems where they sing together, that’s a whole different approach. So imagine beautiful. And it myself I’d never switch those two around, I’d let myself sign that deal a CEO who may have been raised in a home of entrepreneurs. A great tone, reminded me of being and I did. And I think I did pretty good. I would take years between records, lots of great muscles in the CEO limb, but he might have poor tone in his a little girl in Alaska, switch genres regularly. Things that are considered career suicide. But intimacy or parenting. You have pain, you have a lack of harmony. Just like if and laying on I needed those years off to adjust psychologically to the lifestyle shift that you’re working out, if all you did was leg meadows and having had happened. To make sure my inner presses, you’d hurt your back eventually. growth is the priority, because fame You have to train your entire muscular the sun shining obviously is very unhealthy in a lot of system. It’s a You have to do it to yourself, too. whole human approach as I through trees.” ways. I livable was able to make a career to me, where the prop in my call it, where we can help people get industry is you just keep going. Make education that’s usable in every area of our life. Because a record, and another record. That’s why there’s so many we need every area of our life to be robust. That would burnouts and so many kids getting on drugs. It’s sad. be more my philosophy in my life, that’s what I spent my and I got discovered. The way this relates to your question life educating myself in. Seeking out the best mentors RR: This is the 25th anniversary of your debut, Pieces of and educators to gain that knowledge that I was lacking You. Looking back on that, how in touch are you with who because of poor health at a young age, moving out at 15. you were then? I’m curious about your remembrance of I had a lot to learn, and was very frustrated there was no that time, and personal growth since then. school I could go to. So at my wellness festival, creating J: I look back on that time in my life, which was a very this sort of whole human model where I can democratize productive time, even though I was homeless: It was the wellness and create a place where people can go to learn best and worst time of my life. It was kind of a make-orfrom me, has been the real fun part. break moment. I was having panic attacks and I was agoraphobic. Bad kidneys, bad health problems. Stealing RR: How has the focus on we llness helped you to a lot. I remember this one moment, I was in a dressing navigate the ups and downs of the music industry? room trying to steal a dress, and I looked at my reflection J: I moved out when I was 15 and I knew statistically kids and said, “I am a statistic.” That goal I had at 15 of not like me end up repeating the cycle that they’re raised becoming a statistic, it didn’t work. I was going to end up in. So my goal at 15 was to not become a statistic. I did in jail or dead if I didn’t turn my life around. I remember this pretty good, until I was 18. I wouldn’t have sex with the quote by Buddha, or at least that I attribute to Buddha,

Jewel with the team and kids in her Inspiring Children Foundation

saying “Happiness doesn’t depend on who you are or what you have, it depends on what you think.” I had nothing left but my thoughts. And I tried to see if I could turn my life around at that time.

When I look back on my life and I think of that year of make-or-break time, where you’re either gonna die or figure out a better way to live, that’s what really shocks me. And what do we do with pain? That’s why I wrote songs. How do we handle pain if we aren’t taught happiness? Is it learnable? Those questions I started asking myself then that I began writing songs about, like “Daddy” and “Amen” and “Painters." I was wondering, “Can I be the artist of my life?” and invent my world. Looking back 25 years later, being able to have the answers to those questions is pretty neat.

RR: You have created your life. Your song “Grateful” is a preview of the new album that’ll be out early in 2021. Practicing gratefulness is a tenet of wellness for a lot of people. Tell me what role that plays in your life. J: That year, I was trying to find a way out of my panic attacks. I took lots of notes and wrote a lot. And I realized there are only two states of being. There’s dilated, and contracted. Every thought, feeling or action exists in either of those two states. That was really exciting to discover, because that simplifies an emotional and complex inner and outer world for all of us. Every single thought, feeling or action leads to dilation or contraction. I started making a list of what feelings dilated me, and what feelings and actions contracted me. And then I began to get curious as I learned. Mindfulness, that word wasn’t around yet, I don’t think was invented yet. But a lot of these things were mindfulness exercises. Learning how to be present in real time. I noticed that as I had anxiety, obviously my whole system contracted. So I wanted to see if I could hack my way out of a contracted state, forcing myself into a dilated state. So starting to recognize that, there’s two states of being, I can’t be in two at once, I remember I felt this panic attack coming on, I was on a street corner. And I decided to become grateful. Because that was a feeling that I could tell dilated me and I could feel a weight to it. Then I saw the sun coming through the trees and it was beautiful. And it reminded me of being a little girl in Alaska, and laying on meadows and having the sun shining through trees. And I suddenly became profoundly grateful, and that’s the truth. You have to have it in your whole body. It can’t just be a mental thing, And I was moved to tears in that moment, and it was the very first moment I was able to ward off a panic attack. Which for me is life-changing. So that’s what I wrote the song about the power of gratitude.

RR: Is there anything you do in your daily life on a personal basis to maintain mental health and overall health? J: Well, I have a practice I do everyday. About an hour by myself—meditating, journaling. I always have a running list of things I’m working on. I set aside an hour every day to spend time with myself. We spend time on so many things and developing so many relationships, but we really don’t develop a relationship with ourselves. Cultivating a place where you get to fall in love with your life, and your bliss, your purpose and passion. It took a long time for me to carve that time out. I stick up for that time more than I do working out. Exercise comes second.

RR: Tell us about the launch of The Wellness Experience summit and concert on World Mental Health Day (Oct. 10), which benefits your Inspiring Children Foundation. J: The wellness festival was a longtime dream of mine, of this whole human idea: a place where I can democratize wellness. Something that I realized as I became a celebrity is that information is often elite. For me to get a hold of the best experts, and talk to them, and filter off people selling something versus people with really good information, it was like a full-time job. And it took my celebrity, which is weird. I never used my celebrity to get a table at a nice restaurant. It’s to get a hold of doctors that are very hard to get a hold of.

RR: What a fabulous use of your celebrity status then. J: I think so. But I want everyone to know this information. I had to study nutrition for 20 years to figure out how to work with my health, my genetics. So the wellness festival is just democratizing wellness information, in every area it takes to be a whole human. The talks help with parenting, with emotions, physical, mental. It’s going to go online because of COVID, which made a whole other type of speaker available too. And you don’t have to be in Cincinnati, or travel for it. I’m excited about it. inspiringchildren.net

Ed Cashin, founder and president of Truth Training, gets in the zone while performing a round of push-ups. A strength-based workout and lifestyle series, Truth Training’s offerings include interval training, kettlebell and cardio, conducted in socially distanced outdoor spaces across the East End. With both one-to-one and group sessions, Truth Training provides a high-energy, supportive atmosphere to achieve your fitness goals. truthtraining.com

P L AY

AT A GLANCE The best ways to give back, get educated and stay active on the East End this fall. BY GABRIELLE ECHEVARRIETA

OCTOBER 17 Gardening by the Sea Fill your garden with plants that flourish amid the salt, sand and sea spray of the East End’s coastal environment. Hosted by community horticulturist specialist Roxanne Zimmer. Free. Registrants will be sent an email with the Zoom Meeting ID and password prior to the event. rogersmemorial.librarycalendar.com

OCTOBER 17 The Great Giveback: Community Cleanup Team up with Hampton Library to beautify our community. Pick up supplies, then venture out to town or the beach for a collaborative cleanup. Snap a selfie during your journey, then head back to the library for a prize. Contact sarah@ hamptonlibrary.org for information. 2478 Main St., Bridgehampton

OCTOBER 20 Stony Brook Southampton Hospital Annual Golf Outing Enjoy 18 rounds of socially distanced golf and alfresco luncheon at the picturesque Sebonack Golf Club. Hosted by the Stony Brook Southampton Hospital Foundation, this event will provide lifesaving medical equipment to health care heroes. Contact Kellie.Pettit@ stonybrookmedicine.edu for pricing and availability. 405 Sebonac Rd., Southampton

OCTOBER 20 Virtual Climate Change Presentation Scientists with the Atlantic Marine Conservation Society will unpack the effects of climate change on marine life, and weigh in on the

Learn how to grow an oceanfriendly garden with horticulturist Roxanne Zimmer.

debate between natural and manmade causes of global warming. Register in advance, join via Zoom. hamptonbayslibrary.org

OCTOBER 20-DECEMBER 1 Ayurvedic Aromatherapy With David Crow Using Ayurvedic philosophy, students will learn how essential oils, aromatherapy and botanic medicine can promote healing. This sevenmodule course is conducted by David Crow, founder of Floracopeia. $350 course fee. info@mandalayoga.com

OCTOBER 21 Michael Ian Black, A Better Man in Conversation With Molly Jong-Fast Stand-up comedian Michael Ian Black decodes the social constructs of masculinity in his new book A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son alongside Molly Jong-Fast, editor at large of The Daily Beast. Attendees who pre-order the book will receive a signed copy while supplies last. Link and password will be sent to ticket holders the day of the event. bookhampton.com

OCTOBER 22 The Devil Has My Consent: The Real Story Behind the Salem Witch Trials Historian Kathy Wilson explores the driving forces and historical effects of the Salem Witch Trials, including accusations, executions and the key players that influenced the infamous events. Free. Zoom link will be sent to registered attendees 15 minutes before the start of the event. easthamptonlibrary.org

NOVEMBER 4 Finding Your Psychic Self Discover how the practices of meditation, hypnosis and dream interpretation can unlock your intuitive abilities. Attendees will study the intricacies of tarot, palmistry, numerology and astrology and how to integrate them into wellness rituals. Preregister, and attend via Zoom. myhamptonlibrary.org

NOVEMBER 12 Virtual Screening of 1,000 Years a Witness and Q&A with Director Bryan Downey Sag Harbor resident Bryan Downey presents 1,000 Years a Witness, a documentary series depicting the struggles of 13 Shinnecock elders and their efforts to preserve their cultural practices. View the series at home, then tune in via Zoom for an illuminating Q&A with Downey on November 12. Free. Register at southamptonhistory.org

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NUMEROLOGY A by-the-numbers look at Academy Award-winning actress Nicole Kidman, who stars in the HBO miniseries The Undoing, premiering October 25.

THREE Kidman’s family relocated to Sydney, Australia, when she was 3 years old.

6Kidman’s production company, Blossom Films, has created six films and television shows so far, including the upcoming HBO limited series The Undoing. ��6�

The year Nicole Mary

Kidman was born on June 20 in Honolulu, Hawaii.

15

The actress has been nominated for 15 Golden Globe awards, with five wins: for To

Die For, Moulin Rouge!, The

Hours and Big Little Lies.

TWO She appeared twice, first as herself and then as her character Satine from Moulin Rouge!, in a series of postage stamps featuring Australian actors, including Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett. Kidman has four children, including two daughters with husband Keith Urban, and two grown children from her marriage to Tom Cruise. ��

Age Kidman landed her first leading role in her film debut, a remake of the

Australian holiday season favorite Bush Christmas.

6801 Her Hollywood Walk of Fame star is located at 6801

“If you enter the dark side of life, and come through it, you emerge with more strength and passion.”

4

Hollywood Boulevard. $5�,��� In 2006, Kidman was appointed Goodwill Ambassador of the United Nations Development Fund for Women, and in 2016 she donated $50,000 to UN Women.

12 A threeminute commercial for Chanel No. 5 reportedly earned

Kidman $12 million, making her the world’s highest-paid actor per minute.

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AN ADVENTURE IN WELLNESS

PRINTED ON 100% RECYCLED PAPER

ISSUE 21, FALL 2020