2 • The Rainbow Times • TheRainbowTimesMass.com
September 5, 2019 - October 2, 2019
Conversion therapy ringleader “comes out” as ... gay after several decades By: Nicole Lashomb* TRT Editor-in-Chief
T
he trend is ongoing and it looks something like this …
A person is a member of the LGBTQ community. Said person starts a conversion therapy program. Said person eventually comes out as a member of the LGBTQ community after inflicting immense harm on thousands of LGBTQ people who participated willingly or unwillingly in conversion therapy. Here, the case is no different. “The founder of one of the nation’s largest conversion therapy programs, who spent decades leading the organization, now says he is gay, apologizing for his role in the practice,” reported (https://bit.ly/2lZkr4U) The Hill. McKrae Game founded Hope for Wholeness in South Carolina. Game was fired by the organization and came out publicly in June. Recently he released a letter on social media apologizing for his part in destroying lives through conversion therapy. “I certainly regret where I caused harm,” he wrote on his Facebook (https://bit.ly/2lz2cmz) account. “Promoting the triadic model that blamed parents and conversion or prayer therapy, that made many people believe that their [sexual] orientation was wrong, bad, sinful, evil, and worse that they could change was absolutely harmful." Yet, the damage is done. Although he has come to this realization now, his inability to accept himself lead him to destroy the lives of many people in the process. Countless LGBTQ people have attempted suicide in large part to lack of acceptance from society and the gender “norms” imposed by the culture in which we live. “So-called ‘conversion therapy,’ sometimes known as ‘reparative therapy,’ is a
AS MATTER OF FACT, IT HAS BEEN FOUND THAT THE MOST VITRIOLIC PEOPLE TOWARD THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY ARE USUALLY THAT WAY BECAUSE THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE THEMSELVES. range of dangerous and discredited practices that falsely claim to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression,” according to the Human Rights Campaign website. “Such practices have been rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health organization for decades, but due to continuing discrimination and societal bias against LGBTQ people, some practitioners continue to conduct conversion therapy. Minors are especially vulnerable, and conversion therapy can lead to depression, anxiety, drug use, homelessness, and suicide.” And, religion is at the center of it all. I’ve heard right wing religious fundamentalists argue endlessly that members in the LGBTQ community have higher incidents of drug and alcohol abuse and com-
LGBTQ people need self-care 1st; loved ones 2ndly By: Paul P. Jesep* TRT Columnist
I
FAITH
n offering spiritual direction, I’ve spoken with folks who are stressed, overwhelmed, and sometimes near burnout. In some cases, there is a sense of hopelessness. Life can take its toll on anyone. Hence, actively pursuing “self-care” is a must. You cannot be the best wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or good friend, if you don’t take care of yourself. Self-care sounds selfish, but it is “selfless.” I’ve often heard it said, “I don’t have time to do something for myself.” Wrong. You do have the time, if you make it a priority. No matter how stressed or over-extended, I’ve never heard anyone say they didn’t have time to shower or brush their teeth once a day. You make it part of your daily routine. Taking care of yourself is no different. Your family, significant other, and good friends depend on it. You can’t be there for
anyone, if you don’t take care of your mental, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. Inner wellbeing is one component of self-care. It is a form of spirituality, broadly defined. Even an atheist or an agnostic is spiritual. Several years ago, an atheist challenged me at a workshop. The man insisted he wasn’t spiritual. I asked the guy, a father, “Did time stand still when you held your baby for the first time? Did you ever hold someone watching a sunset? Have you ever had a cup of tea or coffee early morning and listen to the birds chirp their wakeup songs?” He acknowledged yes to all my questions. I asked, “Didn’t time stand still?” He smiled. At that moment the gent realized he too, an atheist, was spiritual. Spirituality is about something transcendental. It is a moment in time where peace, beauty, and tranquility are supreme. LGBTQ individuals are inherently spiritual. For centuries they have had to live
See Self-Care On Page 10
mit suicide at higher rates because they are LGBTQ and it goes against God so their suffering is a result of that sexual orientation or gender identity. In reality, the suffering that the LGBTQ community faces is at the hands of those same prejudicial fundamentalists that cannot love, accept and celebrate who people are—because they are LGBTQ. That is what leads to the despair, which is what leads to hopelessness and isolation. The judgment of so-called Christianity, the same kind of Christianity that was used to justify slavery, abuse against women and girls, and so on—that is the problem. It is the messages derived from the pulpits that overflow into families, friends and personal circles where so many in the LGBTQ community see their value dwindle and develop a sense a worthlessness or where they learn that something is gravely wrong with their natural disposition of being who they are, who we all are and were meant to be. What these judges fail to miss time and time again is that they are the ones going against what God calls us all to do—to love and accept. Love doesn’t come with parameters. Love comes with seeing people for who they are and celebrating their very identity, the very person they were destined to be, the very image that God created. Being discarded by others, especially others that you’re closest to and not respected or accepted as your authentic self is what causes disproportionate degrees of self-destructive behavior. That cyclical religiously derived behavior is also what causes internalized homophobia as we’ve seen with McKrae Game. His own internalized homophobia unleashed itself in the most despicable way because of the harm he inflicted on others. How as a community, can we help others who are struggling with internalized homo-
Letters to the Editor [Re: Transgender Stress Comes From Many Sources] Dear Editor, I co-facilitate a support group in Charleston, SC. We welcome all, no matter where they are in their journey or how they decide to transition. They may also bring a friend or family member with them. Some are out, some are not. Some on HRT some not. Some have had surgery and for some surgery is an impossible dream. For others it is not something they want. Why does any of this matter? There is no right or wrong way to transition. Just the way that works for them. —Lee Anne Leland, Online Please send Letters to the Editor to: editor@therainbowtimesmass.com. NOTE: All letters to the editor must be ac‐ companied by a phone # and an e‐mail ad‐ dress to verify your identity prior to its publication. We reserve the right not to publish a letter for any reason at all.
phobia? A number of years ago, a man used to call The Rainbow Times endlessly, leaving despicable racial slurs, homophobic and transphobic messages religiously in the middle of the night. I cannot repeat what was said to us because the words were that offensive. One early morning at 1 a.m., the phone rang which was routed to my cell phone, mistakenly. We picked up the phone because we knew who it would be. It was him. The tirade began. Every slanderous thing he said, we countered with information. Every insult he threw at us, we kept our cool to the best of our ability. There was something that told us to stay on the phone that night, so we did. Finally, with all this anger and vitriol he was directing at us, I had to ask … “Are you gay?” There was a deafening pause. The reply left my jaw
See Conversion therapy On Page 12
Multiple Award Winning
The Rainbow Times The Largest LGBTQ Newspaper in New England—Boston Based TheRainbowTimesMass.com editor@therainbowtimesmass.com sales@therainbowtimesmass.com Phone: 617.444.9618 Fax: 928.437.9618 Publisher Graysen M. Ocasio Editor-In-Chief Nicole Lashomb Assistant Editor Mike Givens National/Local Sales Rivendell Media Liz Johnson Lead Photographers Steve Jewett Christine M. Hurley Photographer Jenna Joyce
Reporters Mike Givens Jenna Spinelle Chris Gilmore Audrey Cole Ad & Layout Design Prizm PR Webmaster Jarred Johnson Columnists/Guest Lorelei Erisis Deja N. Greenlaw Paul P. Jesep Mike Givens Keegan O’Brien Affiliations QSyndicate
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