Horrible Boss II Jay Kerner Publisher/Pea Picker Upper Some readers may remember a piece in this space from 18 months back, where we talked about our then, new position south of town, and our new “horrible” boss. We’re asked about the situation a fair bit, so we thought an update might be in order. First, we’re still burning up 169 South. We know the curves in both directions. We know how to adjust the sun-visors for the time of day and weather conditions. We know who is growing what, who has what for sale along the road and where the school busses stop. Our commute can take as little as 38 minutes if you hit everything just right, or as long as an hour and ten minutes when you don’t. Once you get there, you have to assess the situation. First you peek to see if her door is open or closed. If it’s closed, BE QUIET! It’s always better when she determines the start of the business day instead of you or anyone else. If the door is open, you know she is out already and on the prowl. Your senses on full alert, you hear the sound of children’s programing and follow it carefully. Early video can be a sign she woke up cranky. She’ll be two next month and as a clear indication of how advanced she is in every way, my tiny boss started her terrible two’s early. Way early. Child Psych people can give you chapter and verse on why the vast majority of babies go through this period of testing boundaries. But that is little consolation to the child care worker whose duties are not far removed from that of prison guards. First their charges have to be contained and constrained for their own safety (and everyone else’s). Gates and locks on everything. Because they are NEVER, not thinking escape. You have to monitor what goes in to them and what comes out. You regulate their exercise their sleep and their entertainment. You have to be constantly on guard for contraband. They’ll hide anything in their mouth. Or other places! Despite all diligence, we’ve recovered coins, stamps, rocks and sticks. All manner of small plastic detritus. She’ll dig a bottle or a sippy cup out of some secret stash, where the contents have turned into a crude form of
alcohol. Not alcohol anybody on the outside would drink, but she works with what she has and will eat or drink just about anything, and fight tooth and nail when you try to take it away. She’ll palm cutlery of any kind. She can turn ordinary toys into weapons. That sounds funny to anybody that hasn’t taken a roundhouse to the nose with a talking plastic teapot. She throws food and her arm is getting better all the time. She always knows what she wants and she always wants it now. Then she wants something else. Like videos. The parental units dole it out a little at a time, because she’d sit in front of it mesmerized all day if you’d let her. Kid loves her shows. But she wants the same one over and over. Till she finally demands another from her short list of faves, which she then wants over and over. You try to distract her with other choices but she’s caught on to that trick. She’ll ask for what she wants fairly pleasantly at first. Unless you say no or give any other answer than the one she demands. Then things escalate quickly. Like she’s crazy for minions. You know the little yellow guys from the Despicable Me movies. She’ll say, “watch minions?” I’ll say how about some other title this time. Stare. “NO.” “Minions”. “But what about …” “NO!” “MINIONS!” The last one is often shouted in her Cookie Monster voice while she grabs my chin whiskers like a handle and pulls me to look in her eyes while she does it. She blames me for any gap in our communications, often frustrated by my shortcomings in translating her unique vocal stylings. You might wonder why a right thinking person, such as oneself, would put up with all this abuse. Simple. I’m a sucker for the snuggles and the hugs. And for listening while she reads me books. Sort of. Some real words, some not. For the dancing and the wrestling. For the pure joy on her face when we first come in. (Most of the time). And most of all, it’s for her heart-melting little “I love you, Jaybird!” that gets me every time I hear it.
Block Walk St. Joe Coaster Launch On August 22nd several downtown locations will start distributing Block Walk St. Joe coasters. There are four styles of coasters featuring the United Building, Boder Building, German-American Bank and Corby Building. The coasters have a QR scan code that links to the Block Walk St. Joe phone app. The app showcases thirty-six historic buildings and sites located throughout downtown St. Joseph, while informing users of the distance they have walked on the tour. The app provides information on the history and architecture on the featured buildings and sites, and there is a narration option. The walk begins at the Boder Building, 109 S. 4th Street, where the St. Joseph Convention and Visitors Bureau is located and the last stop is at the Journey West statue at 3rd Street and Edmond, near the Holiday Inn. It takes between 60 to 90 minutes to complete the Block Walk. On Saturday, August 22nd Pink Salt, located
at 614 Francis Street, will have free appetizers from 5:00 to 7:00 pm for those taking the Block Walk. Also on that day, Frye’s Corner, located at the downtown Holiday Inn, will offer a 20% discount to those taking the Block Walk. Locations distributing the coasters include Pink Salt, Frye’s Corner, The Ground Round, Geneo’s, Bourbon Street, Il Lazzerone, Foster’s, Tiger’s Den, Café Pony Expresso, Fredrick Inn, Boudreaux’s and Delish. The app is sponsored in whole or in part by Live Well St. Joe (through Social Innovation for Missouri) and Healthy Partnerships (a partnership of Heartland Foundation, Heartland Health, and North Kansas City Hospital). Other sponsors include the St. Joseph Community Improvement District (CID), Allied Arts Council, Better Block, Mo-Kan Regional Council, St. Joe Web and St. Joseph Convention and Visitors Bureau. For more information please contact Mo-Kan at
Friends of the St. Joseph Public Library Science Fiction and Fantasy Book Sale One sale to rule them all, one sale to find them, one sale to bring them all and in the book sale buy them! The Friends of the St. Joseph Public Library is holding a book sale of gently used science fiction and fantasy hardbacks and paperbacks. The sale will run for two weeks beginning Sunday, August 16 through Saturday, August 29. The sale will take place in the lobby of the East Hills Library, 502 N. Woodbine Road during regular library hours. The first week of the sale, all hardcover books are $2 each and paperbacks are $1 each. The second week of the sale, all items are half price. Cash, checks and credit are acceptable forms of payment. The hours for the East Hills Library are: Sunday, 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. Monday – Thursday, 9 a.m. – 9 p.m. Friday – Saturday, 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.
The Friends of the St. Joseph Public Library is a non-profit organization that supports literacy in the community and the public library system. Proceeds from the sale help fund Summer Reading Programs for all ages at the four library branches, as well as book clubs, adult programs and BookPage, a monthly magazine for readers, free to pick up at any library branch. For more information contact Crystal Stuck at the East Hills Library at 236-2107.
High-Resolution Retinal Photography Detects Vision and Nerve Problems “Behind the Scenes” When it comes to your vision, what you don’t see really can hurt you – and August may be the perfect time for a new kind of “selfie” photo that could save your vision. The optometrists and professional staff at Dr. Rosenak’s Optical Options are urging community members to recognize National Eye Exam Month by getting high-resolution digital photos taken of their retinas and the nerve area behind the eye, a process that has made an impact on people in the St. Joseph area by detecting complex vision problems early-on. Retinal photos can identify diseases and eye problems before they lead to vision loss, such as infections, diabetic retinopathy, hypertensive (highblood pressure) retinopathy, precancerous and cancerous lesions, glaucoma, macular degeneration or risks for optic strokes before they can be detected through other symptoms. “Retinal photography is important for every patient because the doctor can view eye problems around the nerve area that cannot be seen by other means. With digital retinal photography, patients can see and discuss the photos the day they are taken, so they can be more involved and educated about health decisions for themselves and their children,” says Dr. Steven Rosenak. “It’s one of the tools that has evolved across optometry that truly makes an impact for people.” Individuals with pre-existing health problems (or undiagnosed health problems) have discovered serious vision threats using retinal photography that may not have been detected for weeks or months otherwise. Patients with Type 2 diabetes sometimes have localized leakage of blood or fluid that reduces vision
and leads to long-term damage, and have used retinal photography at Dr. Rosenak’s office to identify these changes early in the process. In another example, a patient’s rare fungal infection linked to poultry farming (Ocular Histoplasmosis) was identified through retinal photography showing damage to the optic nerve head. Other patients have used the tool to identify damage from untreated high blood pressure, which can lead to optic nerve atrophy and blindness. Dr. Amy Fitzgerald, one of two trained optometrists at Optical Options, highly recommends retinal photography for patients of all ages. “It provides an excellent opportunity to get baseline information on a patient and monitor eye health more closely,” says Dr. Fitzgerald. Dr. Rosenak explains that the retinal photography process takes only a few minutes and is painless. Images are visible immediately, and it doesn’t affect a patient’s vision, so adults can drive themselves to their appointment. “This test is especially important for those with a history of headaches, high blood pressure, diabetes, floaters, flashes of light, retinal diseases and those with strong prescriptions,” he adds. Dr. Rosenak’s Optical Options is one of the first and only optometry offices in the St. Joseph area to provide retinal photography for patients. To learn more about retinal photography, visit http://drrosenak.com/ your-needs/.
Training Camp Photos by Howard Words