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Jay Kerner Publisher/Mild-Porn Subscriber
I’ve always loved Playboy. I love Hef, and the Mansion. I love the “bunnies.” (From the iconic logo, to every one of the living, breathing versions.) If these were the “Girls Next Door,” I wanted to find the neighborhood and move there. While I’ve been a pretty loyal subscriber since my 20’s, my first experience with Playboy was pretty much true to the cliché’. I found the stack in grandpa’s bedroom when I was 5 or 6. With no dad in the house, we got whatever male influence we did from an elderly curmudgeon whose relationship with our grandmother was so hostile, they only had “hallway sex.” Which as you probably know, is when all you do is pass each other in the hall and scream angry obscenities at each other. But Grandpa had Playboy! Who knew? I carefully picked up the top copy and it magically opened, right to the pre-folded center. And then… it unfolded… All by itself, I swear! Scared the hell out of me. Just the quickest of glances and I dropped it like it was on fire and ran to my room flushed with fever. Later at dinner, Grandpa asked if any of us kids had been playing in his room that day. Nobody spoke up but I could feel how red my face was when he looked my way. Grandpa knew. And he knew, I knew he knew. But he didn’t say anything else about it. He just moved the pile of Playboys from his bedside table to the top shelf in his closet. I wasn’t quite ready for that kind of stuff yet, but I also kind of knew I might be pretty soon. And when I was, I knew where the Playboys were! Grandpa didn’t exactly hide them so maybe he figured I’d be ready when I was big enough to reach them. These were the 60’s and Playboy had been around for over a decade by then. They’d already fought and won a lot of battles. By now they were an institution, with a clear sense of who they were and what they were about. Their success was clear indication that men wanted what they were selling. And they were selling S-E-X! Fantasy S-E-X with that girl next door! Only in this incredible magazine, the beautiful girl never calls you “Spazz” or acts like she’s going to puke when you say “hi” in study hall. These girls never noticed your zits. They just looked at you with …that look. You know the one. The one that, if it doesn’t come right out and say “yes”, at least it coyly says… “maybe.” The teenage me couldn’t in a million years imagine how a “maybe” could be more provocative than a “yes.” But Hef knew. Of course I was more than just a junior perv in training. I was also a reader. I was consuming adult novels by high school and started learning about the world beyond the end of my nose and other appendages. And somewhere along the way, I started reading Playboy. The jokes first. If I’ve ever told you an off-color joke, there’s like a
2 90% chance it came from Playboy. (Still true today.) But I also started to read the articles. And the interviews. And the short stories. And they made me think. I found out I like to think. (I already knew I liked pictures of naked ladies.) But who knew naked ladies and thinking could go together? Hef knew. Playboy introduced me to authors and artists and movies and music and fashion trends. Foods and drinks. I didn’t always get it. And even when I did, it wasn’t always right away. Playboy was out in front on most of the progressive movements of my lifetime. Liberal, sure, but primarily human rights stuff. Playboy helped shape my thinking like it did a lot more people than would probably admit it. And of course there were still the naked ladies! But after a while they weren’t the rare mysterious things they once had been. And there were too many other places you could see them. While they would never become the gynecological exam that other publications eventually put out, over the years less and less was left to the imagination in Playboy, too. Until the next issue! Now that the entire universe has access to like a gazillion graphic images of every possible kink and fetish, right on their phone, Playboy is going the other way. To LESS NUDITY! My first reaction was that this was an Onion story. But I kept hearing it and realized it makes perfect Playboy sense. They’ve always been ahead of the curves, so to speak. Body types and hair styles always changed with the times, not to mention the department we’ll refer to as “personal grooming.” It may not be the current minimalist style, but I, myself, much prefer the full, bushy, all natural eyebrows. Except when they meet in the middle! The Queen has been renewing my subscription all these years and always looks through it herself. But all the recent Playmates are now, like a decade younger than my daughters, which is a little off-putting. And besides, while they’re always beautiful, they sadly don’t often have that look. Our fervent hope is that the new Playboy will never stop looking for that look. The one that’s been offering hope to Regular Joes everywhere for over half a century. And as always, I’ll be reading the articles.
Dear Joe, The Silver & Gold Senior Club of Northwest Missouri is a Meierhoffer Funeral Home community outreach program that they sponsor with help from other community sponsors. The clubs’ purpose is to bring together the talents, resources and energies of those over the age of 60 in NW MO. There is no cost to join; just need mailing address and e.mail too, if have one. That’s how we get the word out about the lunches. They meet monthly for a lunch, at no cost….thanks to our sponsors. Their mission is to provide a platform for programs that strengthen and stimulate the emotional, intellectual, and physical health of its members. “Seniors who enrich our communities.” Each luncheon features an educational speaker and entertainment. Other fun things thrown in too! For the January lunch, which is January 21, the sponsor is Solutions 4 Life, featuring Jerry Makison, owner. Located in St. Jospeh. They are retirement specialists….which includes Medicare, life insurance and investments. He’s been in this business 15 years. I think he is also presenting new Medicare changes. The Kitchen Band is the entertainment! Lunch is at Wyatt Park Baptist Church. Starts at 11:30, but come early to socialize. Runs til 1:30 or so. But I need a head count for food; please call me at Meierhoffers or direct line is 271-0338. We have almost 700 members and want to grow!
The Regular Joe
phone 816-617-5850 read us online at www.theregularjoepaper.com email us at email@theregularjoepaper.com snail mail us at The Regular Joe P.O. Box 1304 St. Joseph, Mo. 64502
Dear Joe,
WE ARE CELEBRATING CUP OF JOE’S FIRST ANNIVERSARY ON JAN. 27! The success of this entrepreneur gathering far surpassed our expectations. To have 40 - 70 supporters gather each week has been inspiring. During 2015, we had more than 75 entrepreneurs share their business story! We want to extend a special invitation to you, the entrepreneur presenters, to join us in our Anniversary Celebration. Please mark your calendars for 8:30 a.m. Jan. 27 at East Hills Library. It is policy of Cup of Joe, that entrepreneurs can present to the group again after one year from your last presentation. If you have changed or diversified your business or if you would like input from the Cup of Joe audience, please let us know. On behalf of the Cup of Joe Team, thank you for being part of this successful program. Annette Weeks Director of Center for Entrepreneurship Craig School of Business
St. Joseph Live Music Highlights Cafe’ Acoustic 2605 Fred.
ALL SHOWS 9:30pm unless noted Cafe Acoustic farewell Month, Moving to the D&G Spring 2016 Jan 1 Berg, Kilmaat & Until the Worlds End 9pm Jan 2 Grindstone Creek & Devil & the Southern Fellowship 930pm Jan 5 Scott Shipley 9:30pm Jan 6 OPEN MIC w/Tom Mayfield & Scot Brunette 9:30pm Jan 7 Illucid & Public Disturbance Jan 8 CUPCAKE & Universe Contest 10pm Jan 9 9 Penny & CARBON 9:30pm Jan 10 The Wizard of Floyd @8pm watch Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon Jan 13 OPEN MIC w/Tom Mayfield & Scot Brunette 9:30pm Jan 14 Matchsellers + Seth Campbell & Amigos 9:30pm Jan 15 BELLOQ 10pm Jan 16 Nicky Fitz & Jesse Boley + Plug in Babies 9:30pm Jan 17 5th annual Whack a Hippies hair, Cancer awareness event. Jan 20 OPEN MIC w/Tom Mayfield & Scot Brunette 9:30pm jan 21 COLBY WALTER sings BOB DYLAN 10pm January 22-24th PINOSTOCK III Fundraiser for United Cerebral Palsy $5 admission each night Friday Guitar Challenge @9pm hosted by Todd Cooper Saturday: DRUM Challenge @9pm hosted by Everett Jonas. Sunday: GASTOWN LAMPS @8pm Jan 28 PLAY DEAD 9:30pm Jan 29 Ben Constable, BBQtioners & The Architects 9:30pm Jan 30 Live Rocky Horror $10 admission includes prop bag Jan 31 FARWELL to CAFE ACOUSTIC PARTY hosted by Brian Myers 8pm
The Lucky Tiger 718 Francis
First Saturday with live music all afternoon.
Moila Country Club 701 N. Noyes Blvd.
New Year’s Eve with Phil Vandel $10 General Admission ($15 the day of), $20 reserved seating and $150 for a table of 10 reserved
Eagles Lodge N. Belt Hwy. Sat 1/2 Friends 8p-12a Sat 1/9 No Limits 8p-12a Sat 1/16 Rev’d Up 8p-12a Thurs 12/31 NY Eve w/Friends & Family Sat 1/2 Frank Ace Mon 1/4 Amalgam Jazz Thurs 1/7 TJ 8-11 Fri 1/10 Jam Nite 10th Anniversary Blowout! Sat 1/11 Darling Nicki
Thurs 1/14 Jason Riley (above)
Thurs 1/21 Jeff Lux Fri 1/22 Katy Guillen & the Girls Thurs 1/28 TJ 8-11 Sat 1/30 Colby Walter w/Calamity Cubes
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The Coffee You Picked- Available Now! We’ve been proud to see the progress our friend, Doug Snider has made in the first year of his St. Joseph Express Coffee Roasters business. In fact they did so well so fast, that they outgrew the capacity of their equipment way ahead of schedule, and had to drastically boost their production capability. They were forced to back off of their marketing efforts until the new super roaster was up and rolling. We were waiting too, because we’d pitched SJE on doing some kind of “Regular Joe Blend” for us. (Seemed like a natural for a business with a coffee cup logo.) They loved the idea and even offered us a buck a bag for helping them promote it. We considered it, but decided giving that buck to the Noyes Home for Children would have more appeal. But we also knew we didn’t just want to hang our logo on something. So we decided to let you Joes choose the blend. We planned a series of blind tasting sessions where numbered pots could be sampled and votes tallied. Our thanks to all who did the tasting and the voting. It was fun, and we
enjoyed meeting so many of you! Now, after six months, we’re calling it! We have a winner! Da tada Daaaa…number 2 is number one! (ok, perhaps there’s a better way to say that.) Doug tells us that that particular blend is a proprietary blend of High Grown Brazilian beans and Columbian Supremo. It’s also good to know that all the blends had votes, which speaks to the variety and quality of the coffees they put out. Now that we have the winner, SJE will make some custom labels and keep our Regular Joe Blend on the shelf of their retail store at 802 S. 6th. We’ll also be pitching our business friends who serve coffee to consider it as well as our friends who retail coffee. We’d love to see it on grocery store shelves and think it could be a great souvenir item for tourists. However it works, we’re excited to pimp our Regular Joe Blend, the coffee regular joes voted their favorite, and we’re tickled that a buck from each bag will go to one of our favorite local charities.
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Mug Shots
See anyone you know? Tell ‘em you saw their mugs in The Regular Joe!
Calling All Artists!
The 42nd Annual Albrecht-Kemper Membership Exhibition Opens January 15th The Annual AKMA Membership Show is just around the corner and the Museum is putting a call out for entries. The exhibition showcases the talents of museum members. It is open to current members of the Museum and anyone that would like to join. Each member may submit two original works not previously exhibited at the museum. Artworks are divided into eight categories: Oil or Acrylic Painting, Watercolor Painting, Drawing, Printmaking, Photography, Sculpture and Ceramics, 2-D Mixed Media Art, and Digital Art. After all work is submitted, the exhibition is judged and awards are presented in each category. Entry forms along with rules and guidelines are available online at www.albrecht-kemper.org or can be picked up at the Museum prior to the entry deadline.
Entries will be accepted Sunday, January 3rd – Sunday, January 10th, 2016 Exhibit runs January 16 - February 21, 2016 Opening Reception Friday, January 15, 4-7 pm. Awards Ceremony at 6pm. For more information, call 816-233-7003.
Taming the Hunger Tiger Noone but the most disciplined person diets during the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, but it seems that nearly everyone does once the calendar changes to a new year. During the holidays we throw nutritional caution to the winds, feasting on every forbidden food we’ve ever craved. And then we realize that we’ve gained 10-15 pounds over a period of weeks, and our pre-Thanksgiving clothes that fit us perfectly before, are now tighter than we want to admit or look at in the mirror .Yikes! And now it’s January and the human tendency is to go from one extreme to another, trying whatever fad diet is trending, whether it be paleo, vegan, or something inbetween. We also jump off our collective couches and join gymns, convinced that if we exercise hard enough, we’ll drop those extra pounds. But the truth is that hard exercise combined with calorie restriction just makes us hungrier and that tiger is pretty hard to tame once it gets loose. Even if you don’t exercise excessively every diet you might try will leave you hungry for something. In fact, hunger sabotages every diet out there. Whatever you restrict, you’ll eventually crave and indulge in to the point of dietary despair. But there is a better way, a sensible and balanced approach. As you probably know, there are three macronutrients: Proteins, Fats and Carbohydrates. Only the first two are essential for the functioning of the human body and must be obtained from the diet. In a nutshell, protein provides the materials to maintain and repair our muscles and tissues, while fats helps us absorb certain vitamins and are key components of our cell membranes. Carbohydrates are fuel for the body and while not essential (our bodies can also burn proteins or fats for energy), they can be very beneficial, providing a multitude of antioxidant phytochemicals to protect us from various diseases. The problem nutrient for most people is carbohydrates because they raise our blood sugar which causes the pancreas to secrete insulin whose job it is to transport the glucose into our muscle cells to be burned as energy. Once insulin has done its job, however, for too many of us, our blood sugar plummets and
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we sense that as insatiable hunger, unless we combine our carbohydates with good fats and clean proteins which burn much slower, thus stabilzing blood sugar levels and suppressing hunger pangs. Soluble fiber (think chia seeds and oatmeal) which absorbs water and expands in the gut to form a gel, creating a sense of fullness, can also help alleviate hunger. There is a proprietary fiber called PGX which has been shown to keep the hunger tiger at bay by slowing digestion and keeping blood sugar levels steady. Two other supplements that may help include apple cider vinegar and garcinia cambogia.Certain essential oils such as pink grapefruit and fragrances of green apple and banana reportedly reduce cravings as well. So to tame your hunger tiger after the holidays, make sure to include fats, proteins and fiber in your diet, while minimizing carbohydrates, especially the simple ones like pastas, breads and, of course, cookies and candy Eat whole fruits and vegetables instead of juicing them..And you can also try appetite-suppressing supplements and fragrances. If you do that while engaging in moderate aerobic exercise and resistance training, you just might place yourself in the position to lose those extra pounds before next Thanksgiving rolls around..... Happy and Healthy New Year! --James Fly Certified Health Coach
Farewell to a Toe: 1975-2015 The Sequel
By Danny R. Phillips aka Ocho This past year/year and a half has seen many things change within my life. A change of scenery and a new look at the world came when I moved into the now hopping downtown district of our fair St. Joseph. As a music journalist, I am now in the heart of the St. Joe music scene where I’ve wanted to be since moving to the area in 1998, beginning my run at covering the local scene. I am here, able to walk around, enjoying the architecture and beauty of our city, to watch as Mosaic helps to transform my already friendly, lovely neighborhood. One small problem: This November, as I did in April, I had a pinkie toe removed. I have gone from Nine to Ocho in a mere seven months, both digits fell prey to the destruction that my Cerebral Palsy brings with it; joints wear out, bones ache, muscles tight to the near point of breaking, always in constant tension, ready to scream for mercy. The last surgery was a breeze. I did what I was told, stayed in a wheelchair for the first two weeks than took it easy. Healed beautifully. Not the case this time however. Bolstered by the knowledge of a good experience with the first surgery (a feeling I rarely have after going under the blade), I pushed myself too hard, refused to rest, wanting nothing to do with a sedentary life. I pushed my body to heal and it pushed back hard. You see, one evening as I awoke for a drink, I rounded the corner and stubbed my “no toe” directly into a bag of books I had forgotten to put away. The pain was of the white-hot variety, pain like the one I had felt only on two previous occasions: one being knee surgery and the other a battle with kidney stones that, at the time, I believed myself destined to lose. With the stubbing incident or perhaps my constant stretching to try to relieve the pressure trapped within my muscles, I had torn all the stitches out of my wound. Yes, it is as gross and painful as you would imagine. Now, like many times in my life, thanks in no small part to my Cerebral Palsy, I must stop, to take a few moments and watch the world go by. When one is forced by either time, circumstance or a loved one to take pause, one sees the things taken for granted. Walking in my neighborhood, driving, going anywhere alone and without help or pain are luxuries, many of which I feel will inevitably end due to the little spot of damaged tissue at the top of my brain. Does this spot of dead tissue define me? Is that all people see when they see me walk down the street, a mistake of nature? No, that is not all I am, a person with a disability. I am a father, writer, music obsessed freak and joker. All stronger personality traits greater than the dysfunctions thrust upon me at birth. What this surgery has taught me is three key things: 1. Love and respect the ones around you. You share this life with everyone you touch. Try to be kind but have the ability to be a bastard when warranted. Some people, no matter how much you do for them, will always remember the one time you said no. 2. Treat your friends like family. This only works if your friends come around to be treated as such. This past year has shown me how to be a friend and how not to be. I may have lost some but I have gained great new ones I hold close to my heart. 3. Listen to your body. You must follow directions (when necessary). Do not live life in fear but do not push your luck, sometimes you gamble and lose. What is next for me? Looking hard at 41 and losing parts at an alarming rate, one of two things need to happen. Either someone needs to create me some badass bionic replacement legs or I need to slow down, take a breath and enjoy what I have while I can. Option B sounds nice.
Complete Dell and Gateway Desktop Systems $129
Woods & Bruce Electric “No job too small!” David Bruce, Master Electrician 816-617-1152
Tax Services of Northwest Missouri Inc. Cary G. Alburn, EA •Professional Services, Reasonable Fees. •Tax Return Preparation.•Representation before the IRS. •Tax Accounting and Consulting. •Individual, Business/Farm, Trust (816) 901-9575 3110 Karnes Road, Suite 101 nwmotax@earthlink.net Saint Joseph, MO 64506
Problem with alcohol? We have a solution. AA info: district2@wamo-aa.org 816-471-7229
Nick’s Painting Over 40 Years Experience (816) 232-3258 Interior
Now Open 4 Lunch!
Northwest Missouri Section
Seeping In
Hans P. Bremer We have left the party to scale a bluff, our boots inching up the slick roots, the balance of our hands wedged in our pockets. Rain peppers my wool cap, the glasses that slip down my nose when the walk becomes work. I lean into each step, follow my friend Larry to a clearing of grass matted in an oval. There’s a view of the levee, a breeze that could cool a small, platform cabin. Larry shows me where he’d dig a trench, tells me how
he’d set the timbers for a southern exposure. I envy his vision, survey the strength of the ground with a muddy heel. The road below is empty, the dim light of our friend’s farm just an acre or two across the creek. I tug on my cap, feel the heaviness seeping in.
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From the Desk of Joe Northwest
Mindi L. Phillips, Regular Joe NW Editor, Happiness Facilitator So one day I had an idea. Seven days later, I had a business. Now don’t get me wrong - there has been plenty of careful planning, legwork, sweat equity, and light bulb moments in the middle of the night. Happy Place Arts Center is opening this month and is a most exciting endeavor for me. I can’t wait to fulfill my position as “Happiness Facilitator” for kids of all ages to spend time immersed in art. No judgement, no unsolicited advice, just a place to express creativity with likeminded individuals. This is truly my first very own business startup. With much help from our great and talented publisher Jay Kerner, I managed to create Regular Joe Northwest Edition. And I have offered services such as housekeeping and health coaching. None of that was as grass roots or conjured from thin air as this. This new venture
is entirely from scratch. Panic. Fear. Failure. Really not words that have crossed my mind. I guess I’ve kind of leaned on “If you build it, they will come” as my motto. Another source of inspiration has to be from inspiring friends such as Todd Cooper - who’s in the heart of St. Joe and whose heart is truly in St. Joe - recently declaring that he’s made a decent living off people’s purchases of things that everyone can live without and yet is continually supported by the people of this awesome community. He and many other friends, several of whom I’ve only come to know in the past year and many only through various online homeschooling groups, have buoyed my spirit and confidence to the point that the only logical conclusion for my next career move is to do what sounds fun and to continue giving back to others my love and appreciation of the arts. Call it ignorance. Call it a dream. But it’s a calling. And frankly, I’m ready to answer.
Mindi
Cover photo by Jennifer Farmer
Shown: The Badami family participates in activities at the Maryville Public Library during the gingerbread decorating event, which was held Tuesday, Dec. 8. Photo submitted by Maryville Public Library
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YOUR AD HERE! We strive to support independent and small business people in the Northwest Missouri community by providing competitive rates! Contact us for rates on display and classified ads.
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Our “Regular” Contributors: Mindi L. Phillips, NW editor Danny R. Phillips, music Rich Piper, editorial Mike Rockett Jr., editorial Contact Mindi at Regular Joe Northwest 816-596-0701 northwest@regularjoepaper.com PO Box 76 Union Star, MO 64494 www.regularjoepaper.com Click “Northwest!” Deadline for all submissions is the 20th of each month
Regular Joe Northwest: We cover NWMO like no one else! Tarkio, Mound City, Stanberry, King City, Maryville, Bethany, Maysville, Grant City, Savannah, Albany, & more! Find our current issue in gas stations, restaurants, libraries, senior centers, grocery stores, and shops throughout NWMO. We also deliver to Casey’s, HyVee, Dollar General, and Walmart stores north of Hwy 36 and west of I-35. Want to see us in your place of business? Request a delivery!
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Live Music Across NWMO
New And Ongoing Live Music Events... BETHANY Thu 12/31: Country Style Band, 7pm (VFW Hall) Fri 1/15: Country Style Band, 7pm (VFW Hall) Fri 1/29: Country Style Band, 7pm (VFW Hall) CLARKSDALE Fridays: Clarksdale Opry, 7pm (Hawman Center) FILLMORE Fridays: Music and Dance, 7pm (Community Hall) GRANT CITY Wednesdays: Jam Session, 6pm (Senior Center) KING CITY Sat 1/16: Rock N Country Variety Show, 7pm (TriCo Visitors Center) MARYVILLE Sundays: Northwest Opry Country, 2pm (Nodaway Co Senior Center) Sundays: Forney & Paxson, 7pm (Eagles Lodge Bearcat Aerie#3669) OREGON Thursdays: Country Music Dance, 7pm (TJ Hall Comm Bldg) SAVANNAH Saturdays: Savannah Country Jamboree, 6:30pm (Senior Center)
BE SURE TO CALL AHEAD IF THE WEATHER LOOKS BAD. SOME VENUES WILL CANCEL FOR ICE OR SNOW. TRAVEL SAFELY!
Guerilla Motivation
Mike Rockett, Jr. Middle Aged Hustle: Adventures in Motivation
William Wallace had just experienced a miraculous victory over the English in a skirmish that he and his fellow Scotsman should have lost. Ensconced in the forest, he was consuming a meal from a pot in an open fire with his compatriots enjoying the savor of a meal well deserved. Huddled around the iron crock, they pondered their next move in between bites of food. Wallace was far from stupid, and what he lacked in experience he made up for in passion. He knew that the English were going to come back with more soldiers, and they would lose the next battle if they didn’t have an edge. They were outnumbered, and they needed to keep the enemy guessing and on their toes. This meant William Wallace had to think outside of the box. He took a bite of what looked like soda bread, cast his eyes to the treetops, and knew what he had to do. “We will make spears,” he told his men. “We will make spears twice the size of men.” Sure enough, at the next skirmish (just as Wallace had thought) they were outnumbered. The English sent out the first attack of soldiers on horseback. From a distance it looked like the English were assured an easy victory. Wallace’s frontlines were foot soldiers, and all they could do was freeze and brace for the attack. The English were certain of victory as the combatants gained momentum. Just mere seconds before the ensuing crash, Wallace called out and his army of Scotsman dropped their swords and shields and hoisted spears made from the very treetops of the forest they abode in. Unable to stop, the English rode headlong into the spears twice
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the size of men. The scales of victory were again tipped towards the Scots. William Wallace employed guerilla warfare to win over the English time and time again, using his knowledge of his surrounding to give himself an edge over his enemies. In the 21st century, men are trained in the very act of guerilla warfare using trees and vines to set traps for enemies that are sure to outnumber them. In the battle to stay motivated in achieving our dreams or goals, how much more can our surroundings motivate us to give us an edge over someone who isn’t (maybe) as desperate? Can we use our surroundings to motivate us to achieve our dreams? The person who has sold her car to invest the money in her flower shop to take it to the next level? The man who has sold all of his possessions to buy into a business franchise and live in the building while investing his personal overhead into his business? The man who has lost his car and decides to walk three miles back and forth to work to help meet his fitness goals? I’m looking to the treetops and thinking outside of the box as often as I can. Who knows what weapons of achievement are there?
Open Mon-Sat 3pm-1:30am
21 & over only - We card at the door NO credit cards - We don’t take plastic! Pool Table & Shuffleboard
136 Highway, Albany, MO
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Events & Festivals across NWMO
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Celebrate safely! MARYVILLE 2/5-2/6: “Evening of One Acts,” 7:30pm (Studio Theater) Sun 1/10: “Fishing for a Change” Children’s Show 2 & 4pm (Studio Theater at the Ron Houston Center for Performing Arts)
ONGOING EVENTS ALBANY: 2nd Wed: Book Club, 10am (Carnegie Library) BETHANY: Wed & Sat: Dungeons & Dragons, 5pm (Gamers Palace) Fri: Magic the Gathering, 6pm (Gamers Palace)
Lord’s Warehouse
donations needed: coats & food items E of Albany on Hwy 136
660-726-4297
GRANT CITY: 2nd Friday: Potluck, Noon (Senior Center) KING CITY: 3rd Wednesday: Potluck Dinner (Senior Center) Last Monday: Pitch Tournament (Senior Center) Daily: Cards (Senior Center)
MARYVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY EVENTS FOR JANUARY Story Hour, Thursday Jan. 7, 5:30 p.m. Book Club, Monday Jan. 11, Middle School 4-5 p.m., High School 5-6 p.m. Story Hour, Tuesday Jan. 19, 6:15 p.m. Lego Club, Thursday Jan. 21, 6-7 p.m. “Misc. Monday” for middle/high school students, Jan. 25, time TBA. Used Book Sale, Jan. 29-30, open library hours “Arty” Adult Event, Saturday Jan. 30, 3-5 p.m. Book Nibblers, Every Thursday, 9:45-10:15 a.m. Adult Reading Program throughout the month of January
New Year’s Resolution: Build Up Rural Pride Rich Piper
Perhaps you would be surprised to learn, as I was, that the combined K-12 student population of our nation’s twenty largest urban school districts is surpassed by the approximately 6.5 million students that attend school districts in rural and small town America. Overall, rural and small town students make up about 12% of all of the nation’s students, and about 13% of all public school students. That is a small, but significant portion that works out to about one in eight elementary and secondary students residing in rural or small town America. First, let me make clear that I believe that every student, whether residing in rural or urban, small or large, deserves a quality K-12 education that equips for success as they move towards further learning, career, and citizenship. Second, please note that I wrote “further learning” and did not write “college.” I did so because, as I have often tried to note in these columns, rural and small is different. A general concern that is gaining focus within the federal government, national institutions, colleges, foundations, and state governments is the fact that rural students are less likely than urban students to enroll in college or to complete a degree at a college (within their early twenties). This might be statistics signaling a major short-changing of rural students, data coming from high schools that might point out a serious flaw in rural education. Or, it could simply point out that rural students, who reside in rural areas, sometimes have different expectations for life after obtaining graduation from high school. Some might have actually gained skills and knowledge from both the school of education and the school of life to enter into the workforce right after graduation. Further, shall we remember that a greater percentage of rural kids go into the military straight out of high school or before than their non-rural counterparts. Could it be that, following their interests for their future careers and other life-choices, a smaller (and it is only a slightly smaller) number of rural students find it beneficial to go to college? Now - out of respect to higher education, of which for the sake of disclosure of potential bias, I am not only an advocate of but have been a very active participant/receiver of - I won’t make (much of) a comment about how in recent years many young folks receiving a degree but not being able to obtain a related job.
So let me stay on track and simply ask, could the slightly smaller number of rural students enrolling in college not only simply be a difference in desires, but could it represent a good thing – that some rural students are transiting quickly, not in four or five years, into a “first” career? Perhaps such an alternative view is worth pondering to explore if it indeed makes sense. Or, could it be that our rural students are just more knowledgeable about themselves and decide this isn’t the time to go to college – as something can be said for putting some life experience in between high school and college so as to build appreciation for working diligently when at college? Over the years of living in rural and small communities, and continuing in my regular connection with the good folks of a rural school district as well as a rural congregation, I have noticed that there is often a general acceptance of the “large” and/or “urban” perspective, and then we adopt that to rural and small, realize that we can’t meet that big-city standard, and then feel bad about ourselves. In that process, rural pride goes down, and rural distraught goes up. With such occurrences in mind, it has been my contention for many years now that, in short, we should “stop that.” Just “stop that!” After all, if we accepted all the suggestions and standards that come out of the big-cities, we’d be living in high-rise apartments, not eating bacon (let alone raising the source of it), driving electric combines, attaching methane converters to cows (or just give up on beef)…you get the picture. Rural is different. Big-city is different. That is not bad or good, just different. Though some times, with some things, it is better or not as good. But mostly, it is just different. Rural is not a mini version of urban. Small towns are not a mini version of big cities. Rural is different. But to be honest, I suspect for most rural folk the rural difference is good as far as they are concerned. It certainly is for me. And it is okay to have such rural pride. Looking at life to come, I, for one, think that it is a good thing to have choices. And I particularly think that it is a good thing for our rural kids to have choices as they transition into adulthood. Education, and being able to learn and think, is vital to having choices in life. However, judging a school by the percentage of students that go off to either technical or other colleges sets a high standard and also communicates that such a choice is the only valid choice to be made. Instead, let us have some rural sense, and
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look at what is best for our kids, in a world that includes both rural and urban options, both small and large options. Let us look at options for today and tomorrow that includes the world, of which rural is a part. Let us have enough rural pride to say, there are some good rural choices to life. There are some choices in life after high school that rural students might find more acceptable, or available, than city students. Yes, I am well aware that there are statistics that show that a college diploma is worth “X” amount more than simply a high school diploma. But I also know that in many fields there are more unemployed applicants than job openings, and that in specific cases the value, not even including student debt, is not always there to be obtained. Besides, in rural America when did we start to put money ahead of everything else? As a side note, it would also be beneficial to rural areas to make sure that some of the high school elective choices available are in areas that would most likely benefit students who wish to stay, or return after college, to rural life. Areas such as engineering, health, teaching, and analytical disciplines (along with agriculture and mechanics) in rural areas will have jobs, often waiting, for skilled employees. Teaching though is not enough, we need to also show, and actively promote how one can work in those fields (and others) and live in rural America. We should have more rural pride than to so willingly give up our young to the bigcity without at least giving them a chance to see other options through things like Future RURAL Teachers of America, Future RURAL Engineers of America, Future RURAL Health Care Providers, Future RURAL... Standards and expectations are good. Being intentional is good. But in our communities we can choose to be intentional about choosing standards and expectations that include a reflection of rural life and rural values, instead of trying to force rural into being a mini-urban. Let us resolve this New Year to buildup our pride in the rural difference! And then let’s make a difference! Rich has spent most of his adult life living and/or working in small, rural communities in Wisconsin, Iowa, and Missouri, including several long stretches in Northwest Missouri. Rich chooses to spend most of his weekday, daytime hours teaching students science, and other things, in Union Star. He also chooses to spend his Sundays, and some other occasional time, with the good folks in Cainsville. You can reach Rich at RichPiper@LifePraise.org with comments.
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I MUST see The Cure Before I Die
Danny R. Phillips
I have never thought of myself as Goth, Emo, or much else frankly. I have always enjoyed the heavier side of the musical rainbow, but when The Cure comes into play, it is a completely new ballgame. Robert Smith and his revolving lineup have been a major part of my life since my cousin Sarah played a cassette of “Disintegration” for me on her Walkman while we served our time in In School Suspension for stealing candy bars from our high school’s snack bar. How I heard The Cure for the first time is most likely immaterial to the story. The point of these words is not to tell you how I came about hearing the Cure for the first time. The point, the grand meaning to it all, is that I must see The Cure before I leave this world, as a death without witnessing Robert Smith’s greatness on stage will be a hole in my soul larger than the death of Kurt Cobain stripping me of my shot to see Nirvana. Some dreams go unfulfilled, a sad and tragic part of the human condition. I will not let this next chance to see The Cure (I’ve got a shot on June 8th at Starlight Theater) slip through my fingers. I will be at Starlight - ticket, press clearance or no - to see Robert, Simon, and the boys bring bouncy loss and heartfelt happy tears to those of us there to see the little band from Crawley, West Sussex. I have a blessed life; I have beautiful children and a great job as a music journalist. I have done and seen things that have forever changed me; The Ramones at Lollapalooza, Descendants at Warped Tour, dinner with Husker Du’s Grant Hart, but until I see the shattered heart majesty of “The Loudest Sound,” the eerie, skin crawling unsettling “Subway Song” from the band’s 1979 debut Three Imaginary Boys, or the bouncy good time of “Let’s Go To Bed,” “Hot! Hot! Hot!” the catchy doom of “Just Like Heaven,” and the lament of war conveyed in “Killing An Arab,” I feel as though my life, musically at least, will be an unfulfilled shell of an existence, a shadow of a man standing, listening as life rolls faster and faster past like a train screaming toward a cliff. This all may seem melodramatic, and it is I
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concede, but my need to see The Cure goes beyond just wanting to see a legendary band. It is a time worn cliché, but the music of The Cure has saved my life more than once. The first time I was dumped by my high school love Becky at 14, crushing my soul, for the first of what would be many times. The last time was when the woman I loved told me goodbye. Robert and his boys in red lipstick with finger-in-the-light socket hair have saved my bacon more times than I could or would count. Being a “weird kid” in a small Midwestern farming community does not make for a Norman Rockwell type of existence. When adding in the wild card Cerebral Palsy, I had little choice at the time but to hide within my love of rock ‘n roll and alternative music. A lifetime of knowledge of the genre has been crammed into every corner of my mind, every step of my life, every thread of who I was - and who I was to become - for my entire forty years. Danny Phillips’ music and pop culture musings regularly appear in online and print publications including Missouri Life Magazine, American Roots, Blurt Magazine, Deli Magazine, Popshifter, and The Regular Joe. Listen to his free form podcast “Don’t Have a Clue” the 2nd Saturday of every month at 4pm on www.stjosephmusicfoundation.org
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As the Moon Begins to Howl
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Carol J. Carpenter
I walk the frozen woods between the locust trees their dormant blood sequestered beneath a bark of piercing thorns If I could be the locust tree I would be safe beneath that prickly armor from all those lies and promises you heaped at my feet I can still hear your ridiculous laugh in the woods splitting open the clouds tossing shadows across the snow while I open my flesh to the thorns as the moon begins to howl Carol J. Carpenter is a writer/photographer living in the paradise of northwest Missouri. Carpenter enjoys singing, watching the birds, playing with her grandson and making pie. Carpenter’s first chapbook Earth Songs is available at Amazon.com for $8, or obtain autographed copies at the Maryville library for $5.
TRIVIA: In light of our wonderful January weather, on what Cure album did the song “Cold” appear? Like our “Regular Joe Northwest Edition” Facebook page and be the first to post the correct answer to win a large pizza from Benelli’s!
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Theater fraternity staging original children’s show also teach them something in the process,” Reynolds said. “Playwriting, for me, involves some level of education, especially when it’s for children. Using funny, cute characters with a pretty realistic and serious subject, such as pollution, is not a new idea. But it’s an idea that has worked time and time again, and I’d like to think I’ve made my use of that idea original.” The play features a variety of sea creatures often seen in other “under the sea” tales. Each animal’s personality stands on its own, Reynolds said. “There’s a starfish character named Terry, and kids will definitely think ‘Oh, Patrick from SpongeBob!’” Reynolds said. “But this character has a whole different personality of her own. When writing this script, I took a lot of care in making sure that my characters were original, but still humorous and able to relate with the children in the audience.” ##########
Theater fraternity staging original children’s show MARYVILLE, Mo. – Alpha Psi Omega, Northwest Missouri State University’s honorary theater fraternity, its taking a show on the road again this winter and will present “Fishing for a Change” for area children. The fraternity will tour to schools throughout the region during the University’s winter break. Additionally, the ensemble will stage two performances at 2 and 4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 10, in the Studio Theater at the Ron Houston Center for Performing Arts. The show is open to the public, and admission is $3 or two canned goods at the door. Children ages 2 and under will be admitted for free. The play’s runtime is 35 to 40 minutes. “Fishing for a Change” was written by Ashley B. Reynolds, a junior theatre major from St. Louis, who is a member of the APO fraternity. Jake Thomsen, a senior speech and theater education major from Omaha, Nebraska, is the play’s director. The play is a comedy about whimsical sea creatures dealing with environmental pollution and hoping to spread awareness about the issue to future generations. Reynolds developed the idea for “Fishing for a Change” last summer while trying to think of something fun, but educational for children. She said she decided to write about environmental pollution because she has a passion for making an impact on the world “I really wanted to have a fun story for kids to relate to, but
Freshman/Transfer Showcase celebrates 25 years with ‘World of Carl Sandburg’ MARYVILLE, Mo. – The Northwest Missouri State University Department of Fine and Performing Arts 2015-2016 Lab Series offers performances in the Studio Theater at the Ron Houston Center for the Performing Arts. “The World of Carl Sandburg,” adapted by Norman Corwin, features poetry, prose and American folk songs from Sandburg, the Pulitzer prize-winning poet and writer whose works embodied the spirit of Americana for more than 60 years during the early-mid 20th century. Celebrating its 25th year this fall, the Freshman/Transfer Showcase introduces audiences to Northwest’s new theater students while introducing the new performing arts majors to the people and practices of Northwest’s theater program. The production features a cast and crew comprised exclusively of first-year Northwest students, providing them with immediate opportunities to become involved with theater at Northwest. The 2015-2016 Lab Series is offering “Evening of One Acts,” Feb. 5-6; and “Alice in Wonderland,” Feb. 26-27. For more information about fine and performing arts at Northwest, including upcoming events and performances, visit www.nwmissouri.edu/finearts/theatre/. ########## For more information about NWMSU events, visit www.nwmissouri.edu/media/
Regular Joe is looking for your stories of Northwest Missouri past - your childhood memories, old traditions, favorite corner store...Photographs are also welcome. Email us at northwest@regularjoepaper.com
Take it One Habit at a Time By: Shannon Bond It’s a new year and if your resolution involves getting healthy, losing weight, or feeling better, the best thing to do is keep it simple. We are bombarded by diets, pills, and workout plans. It’s easy to get lost in the marketing since each one claims to be the ultimate solution to our fitness goals. This marketing can even inspire us to make a bold commitment and jump into the new year by forsaking our former unhealthy lifestyles and changing everything. Hold on though, your mind is at work here and we all know that it can’t always be trusted. It’s showing you a future self that is much more disciplined and interested in healthy things. This future you, however, is not based in the reality of the actual you. Most of the time this leads to binge eating, stress, and failure. It’s not realistic to barrage ourselves with so much change at once, especially when our environments don’t change along with the routine. We haven’t spirited away to a tropical island, surround by healthy food and activity, we are still being lured by the siren song of fast food. The drive through is so convenient as we rush from work to the kid’s swim meet. So, let’s hit pause and use technology to help us practice a little mindfulness. First, what does it mean to “get in shape”? The answer is as unique as you are but basically it involves a healthful diet, a balanced mind, and a fit body. Each of these pieces of the healthy lifestyle relies on the other. It’s important to realize that it’s more than just going to the gym or eating healthy. It’s about finding balance between all of them. It’s also important to remember that the balance will come and go, there will be good days and bad, so forgive yourself when that chocolate cake sneaks into your lunch. An activity tracker with the right apps is a powerful tool that helps you establish a baseline. This baseline includes how active you are and what you eat. All of the devices count steps and most of them count sleep, but some of the new ones monitor heart rate all day, count stairs, and track workouts. Whatever your budget, there is a tracker out there for you. I’ve recently been testing the Garmin Vivosmart HR, which seems to be accurate with resting heart rate throughout the day, which is a good indicator of overall health. Visit www.regularjoepaper.com/joe-fit.html for a list of activity trackers and software. The software that your device attaches to is critical. It needs to track workouts, activity, and nutrition. I prefer a calendar view that shows me weekly tallies of calories burned, time spent exercising, and miles travelled. I also need weekly goals, such as miles ridden. There are a ton of options from Garmin Connect to MapMyFitness, Strava, Samsung’s S Health, Under-
Armour Record, and Training Peaks. Follow the links on our site to learn more about each one. My personal preference is Garmin Connect (since it works with all of my devices) and MyFitnessPal, which it links to in order to track nutrition. It’s important to stick to the apps you choose so you get a solid body of trend data. Once your activity tracker is on your wrist and your app is installed on your phone, it’s time to get started. No, it’s not time to head to the gym, unless you were going there in the first place; it’s time to start logging that food. This isn’t the part where you change anything, but it’s an important first step since we reap what we sow when it comes to nutrition. MyFitnessPal and others will tell you what macro and micro nutrients are going into your body. You don’t have to do it forever, it’s annoying to log everything you eat, but a week should be fine. If you see any trouble areas, or need a multivitamin because you’re not getting enough E, now you’ll know. It’s impossible to sum nutrition up into a paragraph but the nuts and bolts involve eating more fruits and vegetables, taking in enough carbohydrates, protein, and fats, and getting the right micro nutrients. After that first week, it will be easy to see if you’re daily routine needs to adjust along with your nutrition. Set modest workout goals if you haven’t exercised for a while and use the app to see what is really going on. If your step count is low and your carbohydrate levels are redlining, it’s time to adjust your activity. Weight loss, if that’s your goal, in its most basic form is achieved by burning more calories during the day than you take in. Of course there are more nuances than that, such as eating small meals all day, and timing your nutrition in accordance with your daily activity, but that comes later, with experience. In the beginning, your adjustments have a better chance of sticking if they are minor, based upon your actual trend data (instead of what we tell ourselves about our habits), and above all, simple. Don’t cut out the foods you love, just cut back, and schedule the decadent ones on the hard work out days.
Every Day by David Levithan Reviewed by J. Christe Every Day is a quick read and one that will hold your attention if the holiday season hasn’t ended for you yet. It’s an exploration of A’s life as he is whisked from one body to the next. Every Day, hence the title, he finds himself in a new body. It’s always been this way for him and he has developed a set of rules over the years, which he begins to break when he meets Rhiannon. It’s a young adult novel so the main characters are in their teens. A, the protagonist, is fairly dynamic and it’s an interesting ride Levithan takes the reader on as he explores the many shapes and colors of humanity. One day A may find himself in a diabetic girl, while the next an athlete, or a drug addict. It’s a intriguing perspective and one that Levithan takes a fair amount of time exploring without too much narrative summary. There is plenty of action and dialogue to move the story along, even if his love interest is a little less dynamic. In fact, the character arc is a little flat for both A and Riannon. Neither of them changes dramatically beyond A’s breaking of his rules, and his struggle with the moral implication of taking someone’s body for a day. The plot is interesting though, and the world is created well enough to keep the reader turning the pages. If you are looking for an easy read with original content that touches lightly on a few serious issues, such as gender and social status, this is a good book to pick up. If you’re a library fan, and part of the Midcontinent Public Library, you can find it for free in the Overdrive Media Console app.
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