Kailan Kaya: Stories of Hope and Wishful Thinking (The Republic Literary Folio 2020-2021)

THE REPUBLIC LITERARY FOLIO

and wishful thinking

KAILAN KAYA?

stories of hope

2020-2021

KAILAN KAYA?

stories of hope and wishful thinking

Copyright © 2020-2021 by The Republic First published in the Philippines in 2021 by The Republic All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

The Republic The Official Student Publication Marcelo H. del Pilar National High School Bagong Bayan, City of Malolos, Bulacan For more information, go to www.therepublicmhpnhs.com

KAILAN KAYA? stories of hope and wishful thinking THE REPUBLIC LITERARY FOLIO

2020-2021

Contents FOREWORD Laurence Marvin Castillo PARALLEL WORLDS: BACK TO THE OLD DAYS (REMINISCENCES AND REALIZATIONS) POEMS 1 The Greenfield Archie Villangca Fajardo 2 Sunset Joseph Martinez 3 Free To Be Me Sandy Gee Santiago 4 Expected? Really? Ruth Jedidiah L. Durolfo 5 A Lesson Not Taught But Learned Jerymae C. Diaz 7 How TLE-Architecture writes a love letter Archie Villangca Fajardo 8 Arms wide open Lexie Red Q. Bernardo 9 Equinox Aeron Lanz M. Silva 10 Sana’y maulit muli Ramoela Joyce Leonardo 11 A Nostalgic Evocation Jake Arwin G. Tiongson 12 Since then Lexie Red Q. Bernardo 13 A Heartfelt Homily Jerymae C. Diaz 15 If Only I Could Go Back Ruth Jedidiah L. Durolfo 16 Hail Mary Jan Edred C. Hernandez

17 18

FLASH FICTION The Mirror David Silencio When? Lord Sebastian V. Liwanag

SHORT STORY 19 5th Anniversary Joshua Martinez 21 Reminiscence Jean Claudette T. Nicolas 22 Tata Celo: Daan sa Pagtuklas sa Realidad ng Buhay Kim Paolo L. Satera 23 A World For Dreamers Loraine Bernabe 35 How Does It Feel Kein B. Estrella 37 May Pag-asa pa ba? Justine Mhae Paguia 38 What’s Behind Himawari 61 The Limbless Kurt Lance Maximillian B. Lopez

ESSAY 62 Do you still remember? Jaymee Rose M. Dionisio 63 Familiar Strangers Trisha Reid T. Insigne 65 The past of my youth, what lies behind the future David Lance C. Fernandez COVID DIARIES: PERSONAL NARRATIVES IN THE MIDST OF THE PANDEMIC

POEM 69 Binago ng pagbabago Ricky Rich S. Alday 71 Sunrise Ma. Andreah C. David 73 Umaasa Princess Jervie B. San Jose

74 75

SHORT STORY The Weight of the Virus Sandy Gee C. Santiago Tales from the In and Out Lord Sebastian V. Liwanag

ESSAY 77 The Pandemic in the Life of a Student Angenelle M. Santiago YULETIDE SEASON: NEW NORMAL EDITION POETRY 81 Jingle Bell Ro(Su)cks Aini Jimielle G. Santiago 82 Hiling Ricky Rich S. Alday 83 Bells Romina Vicente

84 87

SHORT STORY The Pale Orange Lantern Jake Arwin G. Tiongson The Crime Before Christmas Jimwell Bautista

CLIMATE CHANGE AND THE ENVIRONMENT POETRY 93 Why Didn’t We Listen? Julia Laurene S. Pagdangdanan 94 Planetang Pula Ricky Rich S. Alday

95

SHORT STORY The City and the Countryside Julia Laurene S. Pagdangdanan

ESSAY 97 Climate action in your area Angenelle M. Santiago 99 Pagbabago ng Klima, Ating Ikabahala Krystel Kate Endaya 100 The Great Leap: The Cause of Climate Change John Gabriel Tanghal KAILAN KAYA: STORIES OF HOPE AND WISHFUL THINKING POETRY 105 Daddy, Daddy! Aini Jimielle G. Santiago 106 Tamis ng Alaala Ma. Andreah C. David 107 Wasted Youth Justine Mhae Paguia 108 Buhay ng Iba Pamela Robles 109 Unexpected Archie Villangca Fajardo 110 If Writing Was Jerymae C. Diaz 111 Ngunit ang tanong... Ramoela Joyce Leonardo 112 Spontaneous Lexie Red Q. Bernardo 113 Ninong, Ninang, Pamilya at Sinisinta Joshua Martinez 115 Hanggang Kailan Ako Mananatili sa Tanong na... Luisa G. Cabunag 117 Bakit Ba Naging Ganito? Jake Arwin G. Tiongson

118 119

SHORT STORY 12 Things I Hope For You Sandy Gee C. Santiago Piitan ng mga Namamanata Ma. Andreah C. David

Foreword I am deeply honored to write a few words about Kailan Kaya: Stories of Hope and Wishful Thinking, The Republic Literary Folio (20202021). This work is an exciting collection of new writing from fellow del Pilarians, who turn to poetry, fiction and non-fiction in ruminating about a myriad of concerns, both big and small.

The folio explores the various facets of the personal and political, melding introspections and musings about intimate matters with astute observations about, and commentaries on, the larger socio-political realities outside one’s own private zone. There are various themes that animate this collection — there are the more private matters of loneliness, nostalgia and heartbreak; then there are reflections about social relations, within the spaces of the family home and school, as well as broader issues like criminality and ecological destruction. These various themes and concerns find expression through a multiplicity of narrative, expository and poetic styles, which attest to the diversity of creative possibilities that these writers have tapped into. Even more striking is how amidst these myriad of styles and voices, they are all informed by, and built on, the feeling of hope and longing, drawn to that mystical, mysterious possibility that things are going to be better, that we can overcome.

And this possibility, this sense of “hope and wishful thinking” resonates with the current situation during which we launch this folio. It cannot be doubted that the current pandemic crisis is a less than ideal occasion to bring this collection to being. At the same time, this situation has compelled many to explore online spaces to articulate frustrations and hope — no matter how guarded — about various issues that haunt our selves and others, and write about them.

The labor that goes into Kailan Kaya ­— thanks to the staff of The Republic, the various contributors and the academic mentors who make this collection possible — attests to the tenacity, the persistence to continue writing and creating, because of, or even despite, this crisis.

Indeed, in moments of confusion and uncertainty, turmoil and tragedies such as the one we are presently living in, writing is one time-tested, time-honored way by which we express our rage, make sense of the chaos, derive some measure of clarity, and find some space to reflect and be wiser. I share in the rage, the clarity and the wisdom — indeed, the sense of hope — to which these creative works gesture.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Laurence Marvin Castillo (MHPNHS ’06) is a former Features Editor of The Republic.

His essays have won prizes from the Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature and the University of the Philippines Press, and seen print in literary and academic publications. He earned his BA Communication Arts magna cum laude from UPLB and his Master of Arts in Philippine Studies from UP Dilliman, and is currently finishing his PhD at the Asia Institute, University of Melbourne. He teaches literary and cultural studies at the Department of Humanities, UP Los Baños.

Reminiscences

Parallel

Back to the

Realizations

Worlds

Old Days

Poetry

The Greenfield

Archie Villangca Fajardo, TLE Department This is the granary of the world, which farmers cultivate, Waking-up early in the morning around seven or eight, Plowing the field underneath the heat of the sun, For success was in his hand, Sweat must be dropped to watered the abandoned land, And treasure lied there, Continue to plow the field, O farmer dear.

Turfs of towering heights no more there, Thanks for the hardworking farmer, The abandoned land not just stayed in the corner, The dim side is now easy to conquer, As the farmer shaped its chamber.

Months after month behold the abandoned land, It was turned to greenfield done by the golden hand, And as leafy vegetables grew, The farmer saw that there’s something new, And all his efforts were archway shining through, Let the greenfield opened its door, Where everyone is free to pick vegetables and ask for more.

Plant more leafy vegetables O farmer dear, And as swift seasons roll, Answer its call, Don’t leave the greenfield no plants at all, Though you’re not that free, The greenfield is there for you to see.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Kailan kaya? | 2

Sunset

Joseph Martinez, 11 ABM B I see its beauty, But it never amuses me, Because all that I gain, From it, was pain.

For it was a goodbye, It made my tears dry, And before you knew, You have already caught in blue.

But when I met you, It changed my view, For you who I loved , Forever you will stay in my heart.

It is on its extreme, When you came up on the scene, And I caught you in predicament, That needed to be mend.

You were already ended, But has never been faded, Yet I am your destiny, That will give you remedy.

It is fate for us to meet, For you, to get the rest you seek, Soon the rise of dayspring, It is our moment for farewell bidding.

I now appreciate its blessing, And it is really amazing, Because it is the moment of our meeting, And now I am beaming,even though I am crying.

Maybe it was a goodbye, But it also means another new life, Because in everyday there is pain, But what we need is embrace the grace we gain.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

3 | The republic folio

Free To Be Me

Sandy Gee C. Santiago, 10 SPJ Ople I’m not a constant ray of sunshine Not a unicorns and rainbows Kind of person I’m all or nothing Oozing with raw emotions or black with nonchalance I don’t see the value of putting Me in a fake facade And wait for it to wear me down At the end of the day I feel what I feel Bask in it Until it evaporates Away from my skin That’s just how I Deal with it

Illustration by Ylai Lomotan

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Expected? Really?

Ruth Jedidiah L. Durolfo, 9 SPJ Soliven

Expecting bright sunny days Expecting sitting under the tree with shadows of gray Expecting a great time with your loved one While sweetly sharing with one piece of bun But it’s not what you think Your expectations vanished in one blink Rain poured in your city The weather today is greedy Suddenly received a text “Sorry, today I’m busy” Your happiness became haplessness rapidly Not everything you expect happens But you can turn your lonely reality while your mood brightens Drink coffee and listen to your tunes Slowly watch the weather blooms You can relax and unwind After a stressful week refresh your mind Be contented for what is reality Learn to appreciate it vividly Everything happens with a purpose is the best Just learn how to find the rose in the forest

Illustration by Ylai Lomotan

5 | The republic folio

A Lesson Not Taught But Learned Jerymae C. Diaz, 12 STEM C

Back when I was still in preschool I remember playing all day Lost in a daydream like a fool Too bad I couldn’t stay that way Went to elementary school Learned things I didn’t know before Had to grow up, follow the rules And keep track of all my test scores After that I went to high school It was like a punch to the gut There’s no place for daydreaming fools Such failures will not make the cut I have yet to go to college But I feel the pressure and stress I am still lacking in knowledge My mind and thoughts are a mess I have realized many things I understood reality It was truly eye-opening To see the things I’ve failed to see And feel the things I’ve never felt To see the world for what it is And feel the heavy blows it dealt To try and bring me to my knees

Kailan kaya? | 6

I thought it was all out of spite But there was more to it than that Taught me how to put up a fight And stand whenever I fall flat I learned an important lesson From my colorful school life journey We go through pain for a reason For us to be all we can be

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

7 | The republic folio

How TLE-Agriculture writes a love letter Archie Villangca Fajardo, TLE Department To my beloved, When you gleamed upon my sight, you became the apple of my eye.

The green pastures and the endless horizons trigger my heart to go beyond its borders. You just not captivate my heart but you cultivate it and planted a memory that grows each day and shall last forever.

You give me space and a parcel of land where I create a paradise out of it and your beauty sprout out from within. You give love that roots from a simple “Hi” where my response is just the sweetest smile.

You use a simple tool to unlock my devastated heart and pulverized it with your gentle touch.

Indeed, I’m so blessed that soon we will harvest the fruits of our effort.

Just believe in TLE (True Love Exists).

Lovingly Yours, Archie Villangca Fajardo TLE - Agriculture

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Kailan kaya? | 8

Arms wide open Lexie Red Q. Bernardo, 11 STEM J Home is where you are; The warmth of your love Is where I want to be You are Home.

Illustration by Ylai Lomotan

9 | The republic folio

Equinox

Aeron Lanz M. Silva, 12 STEM D As I lie on summer gaze There I see a brightly view Purely, charismatic days Warming me, content and true.

On the midst of autumn breeze The winds carry withered thoughts One by one, it falls with ease The nostalgia never halts.

Winter cold, is at its peak As the warmth never returned Many words, frozen and bleak The sun’s rays never concerned The dewdrops glint the sun’s rise There I see the light once gleam As I slowly close my eyes The hues fade just like a dream

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Kailan kaya? | 10

Sana’y maulit muli Ramoela Joyce Leonardo, 10 SPJ Ople O kay sayang marinig, Mga maliliit na tinig.

Na sa ating puso’y umaantig, Na tila walang panganib na paparating.

Mga kaarawan na pinagdiriwang, Mga fiesta sa baryo na inaabangan.

Kapaskuhang dala ay pagmamahalan, Bagong taong hiling ay kasaganahan.

Pagsasama-sama ng pamilya sa hapagkainan, Pinagsasaluhan ang niluto ni inay.

Mga matang nagniningning sa kasiyahan, Habang inaalala ang mga pagsubok na napagdaanan.

O kay sayang makita sila lolo’t lola, Kasama ang mga pinsang anak nina tito’t tita.

Mga kabataang nasasabik sa laruan, Hindi makapaghintay na ang regalo’y mabuksan.

Mga mosekong sa kalsada’y inaabangan, Kasaba’y ang pagkembot ng mga mananayaw.

Mga poong inilalabas sa simbahan, Iniikot sa lahat ng baranggay na nasasakupan.

O kay sayang alalahani’t balikan, Mga pagdiriwang na hatid sa ati’y lubos na kasiyahan.

Tumutulong upang ang problema’y makalimutan, Kahit na ito’y panandalian lamang.

Hinihiling ko na ito’y maulit, Upang ang mga kaibiga’t pamilya’y makapiling muli .

At ang dala nitong kagalakan kaligayahan, Sa ating puso’y maramdamang muli...

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

11 | The republic folio

A Nostalgic Evocation Jake Arwin G. Tiongson, 8 SPSTE Velasco

Foliage fall to the ground How carefree then we were But now inside the house we’re bound Apathy prevails, here and there Unable to go out and play Limitations are required Howbeit then, children laugh and they Freely cavort if desired Students attend online classes In their abode, confined But then scattered were the masses Social distancing was not in mind Memories of the past we look back on Hoping for a miracle, thereupon.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Kailan kaya? | 12

Since then

Lexie Red Q. Bernardo, 11 STEM J I’m still here in the place where you left me, Stuck and untamed.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

13 | The republic folio

A Heartfelt Homily Jerymae C. Diaz (12 – STEM C) One fateful day in December I got into an argument With none other than my father Because of my temperament His response left me shocked and hurt He scolded me quite severely A stern tone with words so curt And then silence oh so eerie I started to keep my distance And avoided him throughout the day Even when I needed assistance A single word I dared not say This continued on for days Until a mass changed everything It changed me in numerous ways Perhaps we both did that evening And then it was January It was time for him to go back And yet I couldn’t say a thing My tongue seems to always retract Then came the day for him to leave I woke up to find a present Realized I was too naïve To doubt the love of a parent When it was time to say goodbye My father embraced me tightly I couldn’t look him in the eye Because I know I’d be teary

Kailan kaya? | 14

I was filled with so much regret I cried for the rest of the night I really wanted to reset The time from when we had our fight I know now how foolish I’ve been I’ve learned my lesson since that day It doesn’t pay one to be mean Some respect can go a long way

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

15 | The republic folio

If Only I Could Go Back

Ruth Jedidiah L. Durolfo, 9 SPJ Soliven Along with the heavy downpour A cold breeze that is slowly approaching The irresistible smell of a newly cooked champorado That will make me rush to the kitchen As the news anchor announced the suspension of classes Makes me smile up to my ears Days that are very nice to reminisce Times when I didn’t have so many problems I wish I could go back in time and stay in my childhood days The very sweet and full way of life quickly turned into a very stressful life I wish my problems could stay as what they are before The regret and disappointment that I feel every day Wondering what I did to feel this way That if only I could stop the time That if only I could go back I really would

Illustration by Akisha Quiele Elamparo

Kailan kaya? | 16

Hail Mary

Jan Edred C. Hernandez, 10 SPSTE Zara He’s different, the father thought.

Ruled in closed doors for dancing.

He’s ill-fitting, the Grandmother cried.

Antagonized for breaking the glass.

He’s Demonic, the churchgoers protested.

Alone, dwindled to Love.

He’s Perfect, His lover said In each other’s arms they found home.

For his voice, he was feared, and for the anguish, he was cherished.

For the human spirit fears what cannot be vanquished.

Poem and illustration by Jan Edred C. Hernandez

Flash Fiction The Mirror

David Silencio, 10 SPSTE Zara My mother always warned me not to stare at the mirror for a long time.

She said that if you gaze at it for too long, the devil will appear as your reflection and gaze back at you.

But I heard differently. The people in our house speak of rumors that the mirror is a family heirloom that has been passed on for many generations.

They say that staring at the mirror long enough will reveal your deepest regrets in the past.

My curiosity told me that I should go and see if the rumors are real, but now I’ve been standing in front of the mirror for quite some time, and I can see nothing but myself.

I think the rumors are true.

Illustration by Micaiah Rui Amurao

Kailan kaya? | 18

When?

Lord Sebastian V. Liwanag, 12 STEM B Seven years later, the choice wasn’t any easier. All she saw now was palpitation that belonged to no one.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Short Story 5th Anniversary Joshua Martinez, 11 ABM B

“Naaalala mo pa ba yung una nating pagkikita? Iyon yung panahon na nagbakasyon ako sa bahay ng pinsan ko kasi Christmas Break namin.

Isinama ninyo ko noon sa pangangaroling ninyo at aaminin ko na nagenjoy ako. Ang saya nga eh, kasi pagkatapos natin mangaroling eh tatambay muna tayo, tapos magkukwentuhan at magkukulitan hanggang sa mapagpasyahang umuwi na. Kaso, ang lahat ay may katapusan, kasi dumating na ang oras na kailangan ko ng umuwi sa amin kasi tapos na ang bakasyon. Dahil maraming ginagawa sa eskuwelahan at nakalimutan ko nang kausapin ka at hindi rin naman ako nakatatanggap ng mensahe mula sa iyo, kaya akala ko ay nakalimutan mo na rin ako. Hindi ko alam na hinihintay mo pala. Pasensya na kung hindi na ako nakabalik, pero salamat sa paghihintay mo.”

“Ang sunod na nating pagkikita ay noong Senior High School na tayo, Naging magkaklase kasi tayo noong lumipat ako ng school kasi lumipat na din kami ng bahay. Wala akong kinakausap noon nandoon lang ako sa may sulok at nakadukdok sa mesa. May naririnig ako noon na nagkukwentuhan at parang narinig ko na iyong boses na iyon. Nalaman kong ikaw pala iyon napatingin ako sa harap dahil tinawag ako ng guro para magpakilala. At nung nasa harap na ako, nakita kitang nakatitig sa akin. Pagkatapos kong magpakilala, bumalik na ko sa upuan ko.

Nakasunod pa rin ang mga mata mo at nakatulala ka parin na parang gulat na gulat. Nakangiti ako noon kasi kahit papaano ay may kakilala na ako sa mga kaklase ko. Pinipigilan ko ang aking pagtawa sa ekspresyon mo dahil panigurado ay maiistrobo ang daloy ng klase. Pagkatapos, nung break time na, sa iyo ako lumapit, syempre, kasi ikaw lang ang kakilala ko. Simula noong araw na iyon, palagi nang ikaw ang kasama ko. ‘Di kinalaunan ay napalapit na rin ko sa barkada ninyo. Hanggang sa naging matalik na tayong magkaibigan. Magkatulong tayo noon palagi sa pagaaral, at sobrang naging komportable ako sayo, sa sobrang komportable ay hindi ko na namalayan na nagiging malambing na pala ko sayo at iba na ang tingin mo sa mga kilos ko. Hindi ko alam na unti-unti ka na palang nagkakagusto sa akin. Nagpatuloy ang ganoong sitwasyon natin na wala akong alam sa nararamdaman mo, yun pala simula pala nung unang nagkasama tayo ay gusto mo na ko. Umamin ka sa akin nung

Kailan kaya? | 20

Grade 12 na tayo. Hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko noon pero ‘di ko maintindihan kung bakit nagalit ako sayo. Siguro kasi iniisip ko na hindi pwede at hindi tama, pero aaminin ko nagkakagusto na rin ako sayo ng mga panahong yon. Simula nung araw na iyon ay lumalayo na ko sayo, nawala na yung pagiging malapit natin sa isa’t isa. Tuwing lalapit ka para makipag-usap ay tinataboy lang kita.”

“Pasensya na, alam kong nasasaktan na kita ng sobra, malabo pa kasi sa akin ang lahat. Naguguluhan pa ako, nalilito pa ako. Nalilito pa yung puso ko. Siguro ‘di ko lang din maamin sa sarili ko na mahal na din kita.

Pinilit kong itanggi pero wala eh, mahal na talaga kita. Naiisip ko din na love knows no boundaries, kaya wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba, ang importante ay mahal kita. Mahigit isang buwan din tayong ‘di nag-usap. Sinubukan kitang kausapin ngunit ikaw naman ang lumalayo, pero ‘di ako tumigil at araw araw kitang sinusuyo hanggang sa pansinin mo na ko. Alam kong mahirap ang pinasok kong ito dahil parehas tayo ng kasarian, pero wala na kong pake doon kung ikaw naman ang mahal ko. Ang mahalaga sa akin ay ang tinitibok ng puso mo, na ang sinisigaw ay ang pangalan ko. Ikaw ang naging ilaw ko sa madilim kong mundo, pero paano na kung wala ka na sa tabi ko? Mahal tandaan mo ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko at hanggang sa susunod na buhay ay ikaw parin ang hanapin ko. Happy 5th anniversary, Mahal ko.”

Pag sambit ng lalaki at sabay na pagbagsak ng luha sa harap ng puntod ng kanyang sinisinta.

Illustration by Marc Laurenz Agojo

21 | The republic folio

Reminiscence

Jean Claudette T. Nicolas, 12 STEM E “You walkin’ alone this time?” a former classmate asked.

“Hey, don’t tease her,” my friend chimed in.

As soon as our orders arrived, we bid our farewells.

“Take care, you two.”

Starting off on the lonesome path, I walked past the familiar nearby food park, halting. As I gazed longingly at the place, a couple of voices rang into my ears.

“Hey! Give me back my coke!”

“This is mine, you have your milk tea,” the young man said, chuckling, keeping the bottle of cola out of the lass’ reach. The girl, as if defeated, resorted to finishing her chicken tonkatsu.

It then dawned on me how nostalgic the walk I had earlier was; it had been eight months after all. This stroll towards home, however, felt more sentimental. Funny how a simple road could make one feel everything all at once.

“Let’s eat some proben, hmm?” Once again, I’ve heard the couple’s voices. To make this journey less monotonous, I came to the decision of observing the pair.

The duo indulged in their snack, conversing happily, having the time of their lives. Reaching the corner of the street, the two seemed to refuse letting each other go. Staying for quite some time, fiddling with each other’s fingers, the couple chatted some more until one finally bid goodbye. Moving on, every step seemed to become heavier. With each pace comes a recollection of going home a year ago; the more I appreciate those little moments. Oh, what I’d trade to keep such treasures...

Kailan kaya? | 22

Tata Celo: Daan sa Pagtuklas sa Realidad ng Buhay Kim Paolo L. Satera, 12 STEM B

Isang bagong silid ang bumati sa akin, “Mukhang mapapalaban tayo rito ah,” bigkas ko. Pansin ko ang pananaig ng mga puti at luntiang unat na unat, tila ba’y hindi pinalagpas ng plantsa ang kahit anong sulok ng magarang uniporme. Gayundin ang mga bagong mukha na kung sisipatin mo’y katatakutan dahil sa taglay na dating ng mga ito. Hindi ko akalain na sa panibagong kabanata ng buhay ko, mararanasan kong tumayo magisa, malayo sa mga taong nakasanayan kong kasama.

Mabilis lumipas ang araw. Kahit papaano ay nagiging pamilyar na ako sa mga gawi at kilos ng mga tao rito. Yung mga taong kinakatakutan ko kailan lang ay nakakausap ko na. Ramdam ko ang pagkabuo ng relasyon sa pagitan ng bawat isa. Hindi nagtagal, nakabuo rin ako ng isang pamilya, mga taong nakasama ko sa lahat ng kalokohan, kainan, lakwatsa, at higit sa lahat, sa pag-aaral. Yung mga taong kinatatakutan ko noon, kasama ko nang humarap sa bagong yugto ng buhay ko.

Gaya ng inaasahan ko, napalaban ako. Hindi lang sa sari-saring paligsahan at pag-aaral, maging sa kalungkutan. Hindi lang pala sa mga kawalan ng isang bagay o tao natin mararanasan ang salitang kalungkutan, kundi maging sa pagka-unawa sa realidad ng mundo. Tila nga’y totoo ang winika ng isang mangangaral na iniidolo ko, na habang palago nang palago ang nalalaman ko, palalim din nang palalim ang kalungkutang nararanasan ko.

Alam kong hindi pa ako talo. Naniniwala ako na sa laban ng buhay ko, tibay ng isip at pananaw ang kailangan. Buong tibay kong haharapin ang mga parating na digmaang naghahantay sa mga daraanan ko, at buong pwersang ibubuga ang tinig na dulot ng mga hirap at sakit na naranasan ko. Kasabay ng pagyakap ko sa realidad ng mundo, ay ang pagbitaw sa mga kaisipang, “Mangmang ka at hindi mo kaya.”

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

23 | The republic folio

A World For Dreamers Loraine Bernabe

The world was too boring for some people. It lacked thrill and mystique.

They hoped for something extraordinary — dragons, faeries, mermaids, sorcerers, and other supernatural beings. Yes, they wished for magic.

They envied the protagonists of fantasy films and novels, the people who discovered the secrets of their mundane world. On this ordinary planet, they are called the Dreamers.

Aria is one of them, a Dreamer unsatisfied with the current state of the world. She hated discussing controversial and serious topics, especially politics. She never wanted to share her views towards it nor did she show any interest in doing so. Without that many friends, school was also dull for her. Nevertheless, she still did great in a handful of subjects. But none of them piqued her amusement. Her fascination was only for the impossible and imaginable, fantasies that can only be found in fictional works.

Due to the spread of the virus, the lockdown made her miserable. She spent the first months reading and writing, showering in her hopes and dreams. The next month, she did her homework before it reached the deadline. Homeschooling is pretty hard for her. By the end of the year, she was tired of it. Each day was the same. She had nothing fun to do, no allowance to save for new books, and the worst of all, she ran out of ideas for her novel.

Finally, the year is near its end. However, it is still uncertain when the pandemic would be over. Aria didn’t find the thought enticing. Without any work to do, she would usually stare at the ceiling, feeling the emptiness within her soul. She figured everyone might be feeling the same. Perhaps the new year would become their new hope. Perhaps the new year would become their new hope.

“Arry, why are you sulking there?” Her younger cousin, David, stood by her bedroom’s doorway. Both of them were stuck in their grandparents’ house. Their family had decided to stay over there until Christmas.

“Come, let’s play hide-and-seek!”

Kailan kaya? | 24

Aria sighed. “Don’t you have anything better to do, Dave? Besides, it’s nearly dinner.”

“We still have an hour till seven. You don’t have anything to do either anyway.” The boy pouted with his arms crossed. He had a point.

“Ugh. Fine.” She rolled her eyes, finally giving in. “But only one game.”

David grinned cheekily. “If you could find me, that is. You’re It!” And so, the two children began their game of hide-and-seek. Aria counted to fifty while David hid somewhere in the villa. Thinking about it, they hadn’t explored every nook and cranny of the house. None of the kids ever had the idea before. So instead of looking for David, Aria decided to wander around. She proceeded wherever her instincts led her to. Her imagination ran wild in every room she entered, hoping to find something interesting. She had almost ventured every room she had known of. David still wasn’t found. Then, she passed it — the mahogany doors, entrance to her grandfather’s collection of peculiar things. Maybe David is hiding there, she thought at first. But there was something else that lured her towards it. A feeling she could deem unexplainable.

Step by step, Aria approached the wooden doors. She could tell they were newly-varnished. The strong scent lingered in the air. The brass handles felt cold against her bare palms, almost as if they were untouched for a while. She opened the door wide enough for her petite body.

Step by step, Aria approached the wooden doors. She could tell they were newly-varnished. The strong scent lingered in the air. The brass handles felt cold against her bare palms, almost as if they were untouched for a while. She opened the door wide enough for her petite body.

Two high windows served as the room’s illumination. Cupboards of various sizes occupied it. Inside them are vintage frames, utensils, tea sets, and several other objects. Paintings of different styles are hanging on the walls. Aria liked the impressionism artwork of a flower field best.

But what caught both her attention and curiosity is the crystal ball held by a statue of Merlin. The Arthurian wizard is ivory in color, his feet unseen underneath his long robe made of plaster. Only the crystal ball on his left hand shone in what seems like a thousand colors. Sometimes,

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Aria would get a glimpse of the stars or the colors of the rainbow inside it. Sometimes, there was only a white fog.

Her hands itched to touch the glasslike sphere. Hesitantly, she reached for it. Her fingers were a few inches from the ball when David saw her and thought of surprising her. “Boo!” He slightly pushed her. Aria accidentally touched the crystal ball.

What happened next is completely unordinary. Surely, this will be Aria’s most unforgettable vacation. Maybe even the most memorable event of her entire life.

Dizziness and nausea were the first things she felt after she touched it. It was an out-of-body experience, as though she was dreaming. Suddenly, she and David appeared in a tent unknown to them. Jars with eyeballs, small tails, and several liquids surrounded them. A white owl stared at them from its golden birdcage. Its amber eyes appeared to glow in the dimness.

“Well, well, if it isn’t another human. The last time one visited was over decades ago.” They wouldn’t have noticed the purple-robed old man if he would’ve stayed silent. A pointed hat of the same color was perched on his head. His gray eyes gazed at them curiously behind the round spectacles. He looked like a wizard, to be precise, like Merlin. “I am Merlin, indeed, the wizard in Arthur’s Legend. Moreover, that was a long time ago. You must be...” His eyes squinted, reading the two more carefully. “... Ah, yes. Aria and David. Such beautiful children.”

This caught them off guard. They do not remember telling him their names nor did they spoke to each other the moment they set foot in this strange place. Aria, being the older, was brave enough to ask Merlin.

“Where are we?”

The wizard smiled warmly. “This is the Arcanum. A world perfect for Dreamers like you.”

Merlin elaborated more about Arcanum to Aria and David. Everything imaginable and mystical existed in this world. It is truly perfect for Dreamers. He explained to them the basics of living here, the society he

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lives with, and some stories relating to this world’s origin.

The Arcanum was formed from hopes and dreams. It will continue to exist as long as humans on Earth continue to imagine. And it will live eternally, for Man’s imagination never truly ends.

“But can we go back to our world?” David, now comfortable with the wizard, asked, “We cannot stay here, right?”

“If you wished to go back, you could. However, do you really want to return to the mundane world this instant?” Merlin, being the legendary wizard we all recognize, knows what the kids desired as of the moment.

It could be the work of his sorcery or the knowledge he gained from his long life. Whichever was it, Aria and David do want to see more of Arcanum.

The beaded curtains behind them rustled. A voice of a young man soon spoke right after. “Who are you talking to, Merlin?”

“You arrived just on time, Linnaeus.” The wizard stroked his long white beard, impressed at the teenage boy’s timing. “You see, these young humans just emerged here out of nowhere. Do you mind being their tour guide?”

“It’s Linnae.” The raven-haired boy grimaced at him. “And no, I am too busy to play with these mortals. Why don’t you guide them yourself?”

“Oh, I see. What a shame. If you couldn’t be bothered, then I guess I should just keep my gold inside my hat for a couple of years more.” A bag full of coins appeared on the top of Merlin’s palm. He was about to drop it in his wizard hat before Linnaeus protested.

“I was kidding, old man.” Linnaeus faked a laugh, snatching the bag from him. It disappeared in thin air with only a flick of his finger.

“Was that magic just now?” Aria blurted unknowingly. She usually keeps silent around strangers. Perhaps having seen magic before her own eyes, made her act differently.

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His blue eyes studied her carefully. Seeing Linnaeus up close, he appeared to be about the same age as her, only taller. His orbs were as blue as sapphire. They moved side to side as his gaze averted from Aria to David. “Say, Merlin, am I to be held responsible if something bad happens to them?”

“Why, of course! You better take care of them. It is a guide’s job to keep his clients safe.”

“It is but a hypothetical question. You worry too much, old man.”

Linnaeus turned to the beaded curtains. He glanced back and gestured to the clueless children to follow him. It is a troublesome job, but as an adventurer, he needed the money for living expenses. One does not simply travel with their pockets empty, a saying of most adventurers.

They were out of Merlin’s tent. The sky was bright as the sky on Earth.

The difference is that not only birds are the ones flying around. There are witches and wizards on their brooms, people on the backs of pegasi, tiny and human-sized faeries, and even tamed dragons with their riders here and there. On the ground, centaurs, satyrs and fauns, and other residents of Arcanum roam around stores and stalls. The two children were delighted to see these mythical beings. Fictional characters, only seen in fantasy books, have come to life.

Linnaeus blew the whistle necklace hanging on his neck. Seconds later, a griffin with wings ten times their size landed gracefully before them.

Some of its black feathers fell to the cobblestone street. The young adventurer scratched its neck as he said, “We’re going for a ride, Cleo.”

Together, all three of them hop on the back of the eight feet tall griffin.

It soared high enough to see Arcanum from above. David held to Aria, making sure not to fall. On the other hand, Aria enjoyed the view. They flew over forests with trees of different colors. Elves, talking animals, and dryads greeted them with a rain of flower petals. Next, they dived into the clear sea without getting wet. Linneaus manifested an air bubble around them, so it seemed like they were still flying even though underwater. First, there were corals, and when they go further, a castle loomed in front of them. Humans with fishtails — or rather mermaids and merman — swam with them, looking out of curiosity.

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“Why are they eyeing us weirdly?” David asked, uncomfortable with the stares he is getting.

“Most of the people here think humans are our gods. The sole reason why we exist. But I bet Merlin already told you about that part, didn’t he?” Linnaeus answered without looking at them, his eyes focused on what’s in front of him. “It is an undeniable fact that your kind created us.

You built the small details of our character and the world we reside in.

Nonetheless, it doesn’t mean humans control our lives. Just like you, we also have the power to make decisions on our own.”

“For sure, there is a name for the people who reside here, right?” Aria held onto his shoulders securely. Somehow it was easy for her to be comfortable with others here in Arcanum.

“Arcana.” They were in the air again. The bubble burst once they were out of the water. This time Linnaeus glanced at them, a small smirk forming on his face. “The secrets of the other world.”

They are back in Merlin’s tent. The sun was already setting. Their tour with Linnaeus is over. It is time for them to return to their world. Aria and David didn’t want to leave yet. They still wanted to stay longer. They were afraid that if they left, they would no longer be able to come back to Arcanum. Maybe if they asked nicely, Merlin will allow them to stay for another day.

The old wizard paused to think. The tip of his wand rested against his temple. “Only until tomorrow noon. By the time the clock tower rang at twelve, I would expect the two of you to be back here. Any longer than that would be dangerous for humans.”

“I suppose you are entrusting them to me again...” Linnaeus frowned as Merlin laughed. He shrugged and reached for three coins in his pocket.

“Fine. We have to stay in an inn for the night then. You,” he pointed at Aria. “Be sure to watch that little boy. I’m not the one to babysit him, got it?”

“Hey! I’m not a little boy anymore!” David glared at Linnaeus. “I can watch myself!”

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“Even so, you better hold onto me while we are walking, okay?” Aria reached her hand to David, following behind the young adventurer. The two cousins thanked Merlin before leaving.

It was getting darker. Only some Arcanes are walking on the streets.

Most of them stop in front of the food stalls to buy dinner. Some are also looking for inns. Then, the wind blew. Linnaeus’ cloak fluttered behind him, but he didn’t notice anything odd. There was a scent when the air passed them, although only Aria and David smelled it. Both children dashed towards the source of the fragrance. For Aria, it was the smell of old books. For David, it was the scent of roasted chicken.

“Where are you going?!” Linnaeus ran after them, annoyed and confused at the way they were acting.

They found themselves inside an incense shop. The scent was coming from the counter. A beautiful lady stood there, smiling at them. The two were taken aback by her beauty while Linnaeus stared at her as if he had forgotten something. The woman addressed them, “What can I help you with, dear customers?”

“I like that! It smells like my favorite food!” David beamed, peering at the smoking incense.

Aria raised a brow, protesting, “What are you saying? It smells like books!”

Linnaeus didn’t understand at first what they were talking about. He can only smell smoke. That was when it hit him what was actually happening.

The incense was embedded with dark magic, one that only works against humans. It gives off an effect to stimulate the imagination. Hence, the target thinks they are smelling their favorite scent. Linnaeus reached for his gun and called them, “Stand back! That’s a Bête Noire!”

The woman hissed at him, offended by the word. “How dare you call me that?!” She glanced at the dumbfounded children and moved swiftly to grab them.

Linnaeus seized his long red scarf and threw the other end of it towards

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Aria and David. He fired three accurate shots at the Bête Noire. The bullets only passed through her body, now dissolving into smoke. Along with her, David cried for help and refused to let go of Aria’s hand. But the Bête Noire was stronger. The boy was swallowed by the smoke, vanishing without a trace.

Aria woke with a start. The screams of her younger cousin repeated in her mind. She thought she was dreaming. She thought she would have woken up discovering that the Arcanum, Merlin, Linnaeus, and the abduction of David are not real. But she is not in her bedroom. Instead of purple walls, the room she’s in is peach in color. She is lying on a soft white bed, a blanket sprawled on top of her. There was a window to her right, showing the morning sky. She sat up in a hurry after remembering what happened last evening.

“You’re quite early.” The adventurer sat on the chair across the room. He was writing something on a large piece of parchment on the table.

She panicked. “Where is David?”

“Well, let’s hope he wasn’t eaten by that monster yet.” He continued what he was doing, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate.

“What do you mean hope?! Are you saying you will leave him—” “Don’t belittle the power of hope here, milady. It is one of the factors why Arcanum exists. Besides, you are a human. Your hopes will work differently here.” Linnaeus folded the parchment once he was done.

Then he handed the second mug to Aria. “Drink that. You wouldn’t need breakfast after one.”

“But... what about David?” Her eyes are teary, trying hard not to let the tears fall. “I can’t just leave without him.”

“I already asked Merlin. He said he knew something like this would happen. So, he had put a charm on you two that will allow him to know your locations.” He tapped the parchment on his other hand. “This map right here will tell us your cousin’s current whereabouts.”

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“We can find him before twelve, right?” She took a quick look at the wall clock. Its hands are pointing at the number eight. They only have four hours left to find David. She does not know what will happen if they fail Merlin’s requirements.

“Leave it to me,” Linnaeus proudly said.

On the back of Cleo, the griffin, they flew to the places marked on the map. A circle always appears once they arrive in one of the marks. The chase continued for three hours before Aria and Linnaeus decided to think of a plan. In the end, they were clueless about what to do. Tired and exhausted, they changed course and went back to Merlin’s tent.

The two men, young and old, started talking about how to find David more accurately. They are bickering for almost an hour now. The clock tower is about to strike twelve. Fifteen minutes are left.

Aria is on the verge of tears. She started wishing and hoping, even praying. “Please let me find David. Please let us go home,” she whispered the words silently, slowly becoming a mantra. Soon, she saw flashes of images. A large bell hanging on the ceiling. A view of Arcanum from a very high place. The ticking sounds of a clock. David crying for help.

She figured it out. She found out where David is. It is a building seen from everywhere in Arcanum. They passed it several times while they flew around. She stood up and told them, “I found him.”

Once again, they flew as fast as they could. Together with Merlin and his broom, they approached the clock tower. It took them two minutes and a half to reach the top. The golden building stood parallel to the sun, distinguishing the center of Arcanum. The griffin landed them inside the railings above the humongous clock. No one but only the three of them is there.

Aria wished again, knowing there is more to it than it seems. The woman and David appeared out of nowhere right in the middle of the floor. The little boy was unconscious. The woman’s long fingers held his head. Her attractive facade is no longer seen.

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“The Bête Noire is manipulating the boy’s imagination,” Merlin commented. “Linnaeus, you have to separate him from her. Aria, come here. I’ll teach you something important.”

They followed his instructions. The wizard taught Aria how a human is most powerful in Arcanum and how they can control the world at their will. While Linnaeus fought the Bête Noire, Merlin made enchantments for preparation. Each spell is placed according to his calculations. The success of this tactic depends on Aria, the Dreamer from Earth.

The Bête Noire had managed to stop both Linneaus and Merlin. They were frozen in their places, unable to move. Aria deflected every attack hurled towards her. She and her opponent exchanged blows. Defend, attack, defend, attack. It was a neverending sequence. The time seemed to slow. Every second is essential.

Aria executed her defenses and attacks perfectly. Each blow bounced from the shields they created to the invisible chains binding Merlin and Linnaeus. While the Bête Noire was distracted with Aria, the wizard and the adventurer made their move. Linnaeus pulled David away from her with his magic scarf. Merlin, on the other hand, activated the spells he prepared earlier.

Powerless, the Bête Noire was obliterated to dust, completely forgotten from both worlds. Merlin gathered its remains, making a statue of its former appearance as an Arcane. A remembrance of a past witch princess, once a protector of her kingdom. “This is what happens to Arcanes when no one remembers them anymore. They act out of their respective characters. They become chaotic and horrid to the point they bother Arcanes and thirst at the sight of humans.”

“Hey, gramps, don’t you think it’s about time for them to go back to their world?” Linnaeus fixed his scarf around his neck. “There’s only a minute before twelve.”

Merlin swished his wand. A crystal ball, identical to the one they used to get here, floated before them. But unlike on Earth, it glowed brightly.

“Go ahead and touch it.”

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Aria carried David by her shoulder as she reached to touch the ball.

Within an inch away from it, she hesitated. “Will we ever get back here someday?”

“You will find Arcanum when you need it, Aria,” he answered. “For now, focus on going back to your world.”

She nodded in response. “See you someday, Merlin, Linnae.”

Linnaeus whistled, satisfied hearing his nickname. “Finally, someone knows how to call me correctly. Be seein’ you, kid.”

Not wanting to waste any more time, Aria touched the crystal ball.

She and David glowed brighter and brighter until both the wizard and the adventurer couldn’t see anymore. She closed her eyes, blinded by the light. The same dizziness hit her again as they travel between two worlds. Then, she felt the ground again.

They were back in their grandfather’s room of collections. It was still daytime as if they weren’t gone the whole day. Merlin’s statue still stood there in front of her. The crystal ball still in his hand, only now it looked normal. The magic embedded in it was all used up. They wouldn’t be able to return to Arcanum the same way again. Not until they find another object connected to it.

“Where’s Merlin and Linnae?” David spoke beside her. His eyes widened in surprise after seeing his surroundings. “We’re back? Was it a dream?”

“It isn’t, David. They are real. The Arcanum exists.”

Author’s Note: Boredom had hit me again. I have many things to do and still have lessons to answer. It wasn’t a good thing to do since deadlines are approaching and the quarter will soon end, but for now, I set those activities aside. I suddenly had the urge to write a new story. Not that I finished my current ones either. These past few months are too bland for me. I grow weary each passing day. I hope it ends soon, the virus and this lockdown, so

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everyone can go back to their normal lives again.

And so, I poured my weariness into writing my own fantasies. A world that is different from ours. I suppose you could describe me as a Dreamer in the story above. However, where I differ from Aria is that I do not dislike serious topics. I just do not share my opinion about it often, afraid that there are people who might get offended by it.

The part about the Arcanum is similar in how we all have another world in our minds. The world we build with our thoughts, imaginations, hopes, and dreams. The Bête Noire, also means a thing you hate, is the negative thoughts that corrupt our thinking. During this time, I am quite sure most people are having problems mentally. There are times that we feel alone and no one to talk to. People forget that at a time like this, we should hope and dream. Tomorrow will come and the next days until we do not notice that the pandemic is over. Keep your wits up and always stay determined.

Illustration by Ylai Lomotan

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How Does It Feel Kein B. Estrella, 12 STEM A

It was a sunny day in June when Kevin and his mom went to school for the first time. Kevin thought it was fun and exciting. There were many kids with their parents as Kevin entered the room filled with laughter and chitchat. “Kevin darling, I’m heading home now. Be a good boy here, okay?” his mom said. Kevin replied with an uncertain nod to his mom and a spark in his eyes. Kevin was happy, excited, and enthusiastic. He talked to his classmates, smiling every time as he played and laughed with them. It was fun!

A few months flew by and Kevin, with his head looking down, ended up being avoided by everyone with no one to talk to or laugh with.

Everything had changed. He went to school alone and went home alone.

What had happened? Kevin, who was always smiling and laughing, began to be filled with loneliness. During the past few months, Kevin had done horrible things like fighting with his friends, mocking his classmates, and making insensitive jokes that he did not know was a pain in the chest of his classmates. He was always scolded by his teachers.

Just like the kids around him, he hated himself.

His inner demons were eating him alive with a dark bad attitude. “How does it feel?” Kevin thought, “How does it feel to end it all? To just disappear? To not be consumed by this monster called Loneliness? How does it feel to just sleep forever? To give up my body to this darkness?”

It was game over, he thought. He planned to kill himself. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

It was running on the day of his plan. Kevin came out of his room alone.

Alone except for his red commercialized umbrella, protecting him from the cold showers of the rain. His mom trusted him to go home alone because their house was just nearby. He reached the road, filled with many busy vehicles with their own agendas. “It will be fun,” he thought.

As a large truck moved closer, he slowly smiled and ran onto the road.

The truck driver heard a horrifying sound and he stopped the truck. What he saw terrified him. He saw a kid with blood on the road, still smiling.

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A teardrop fell from Kevin’s eyes and he wiped it away with his cold hands. He woke up on his bed with his parents. He was late for school!

Kevin prepared for school, a 17-year-old teenager with a fighting spirit in his chest. He looked in the mirror and smiled. It was the good old days he would cherish, telling his son and his grandsons so that they would be remembered till his last breath. The pain of the past contributed in creating a huge enlightenment inside him. Kevin would fight and win over his demons, his bad attitude showing the possibility of change by a good book. His knowledge and experience would make him a more rational and mature human being.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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May Pag-asa pa ba?

Justine Mhae Paguia, 10 SPJ Ople

Napuno ng kasiyahan at kagalakan ang bawat lahat, sapagkat sa wakas ay muli na silang nakalaya sa mga kamay ng isang diktador. Isang diktador na inapak-apakan sila at itinuring na mga hayop.

Kaya’t sila ay nanumpang hindi na muling magkakamali at gagawin ang kanilang karanasan bilang isang aral para sa mga susunod na henerasyon.

Subalit ilang dekada na ang lumipas at muling napuno ng takot ang kanilang mga mata, madugong blusa na muling tumakip sa kanilang bibig, at mga kamay na muling nagparamdam at pinipilit silang ikulong sa kadiliman.

Akala nila ayos na, akala nila nakamtam na nila ang kalayaan. Ngunit sila ay nagkamali, nakakulong pa rin sila, dahil hindi naman talaga sila nakawala, mas lumawak lamang ang kanilang selda.

Sa dulo ng kadiliman ay makikita ang isang babaeng nababalot ng dugo, hilam ang mga mata, madilim at puno ng galit, at kasabay ng pag-ihip ng malamig na hangin ay ang kaniyang pagbulong ng mga katagang...

“Sa oras na dumilat ka, hindi ka na maari pang pumikit.”

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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What’s Behind Himawari

You can never judge someone’s house when you have no idea on what is behind their door.

When someone seems to be lost, or making a lot of mistakes and faults, do not judge. Help them find their path.

This is a story of three generation of teachers that saved one another from losing the meaning of life.

Ma’am Naomi, Teacher Amira and Miss Hanna.

“Nahi-highblood ako sa mga estudyante ko sa last section ma’am Hanna!

Nakatatlong bigay na ako ng extension sa deadline ng peta sa kanila tapos hanggang ngayon, labing-dalawa pa rin ang hindi nagpapasa!” paghihimutok ni Ma’am Naomi habang inililigpit ang nagkalat na mga papel sa kaniyang lamesa.

Ala sais na ng hapon at nakauwi na ang ibang mga guro. Wala na ring estudyante sa campus at ang natitirang guro na lamang sa Mathematics department ay ang dalawang guro na si Ma’am Naomi at Ma’am Hanna.

Sa hitsura pa lamang ni Ma’am Naomi ay nababasa na ni Ma’am Hanna kung gaano ito kastress sa kan’yang trabaho.

Lalong nadaragdagan ang puti nitong buhok sa dami ng iniintindi.

Sa kilos naman nito na padabog na pagliligpit sa kan’yang lamesa ay nahahalata rin ng dalagang guro kung gaano ito kainis.

“Hala ma’am, next week na ang submission ng grades.” Wika ni Miss Hanna sa matandang guro.

“Yon na nga ang pinoproblema ko. Andami pang kulang, yung ibang mga nagpasa naman mali-mali ang pinaggagawa. Malinaw na malinaw

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naman ang paliwanag ko na gusto ko handwritten ang ipapasa, pero tingnan mo. Halos kalahati ng mga natanggap ko typewritten at printed.

Mga hindi kasi nakikinig.Biruin mo nagtuturo ka, mayro’ng nakatulala sa bintana, mayro’ng nagbubulungan, mayrong nagdodrawing ng kung ano ano. Nakakawalang gana magturo sa klaseng ‘yon. Hindi maintindihan ng mga batang ‘yon na dahil sa pagiging iresponsable at katamaran nila, guro nila ang nagagahol. Dios mio, iblangko ko na lang kaya mga grade nila?” Sa tono ng kan’yang pananalita ay tila nauubusan na s’ya ng pasensya sa an’yang mga mag aaral.

Si Ma’am Naomi ang tipo ng guro na strikta at madaling mainis lalo na kung ang estudyante ay tamad at pabaya sa pag aaral. Tatlumpu’t isang taon na siyang nagtuturo sa Saint Rafael Vocational High School at dala na rin siguro ng katandaan ay napakaikli ng pasensya nito sa mga estudyante niya.

Humagikgik ang dalagang guro na kakatapos lang magligpit ng kan’yang laptop at projector.

“Ma’am, kumalma ka lang. Tatanda ka agad n’yan sige ka.” Nakangiting sambit ni Miss Hanna habang isinususi ang cabinet kung sa’n itinago n’ya ang kan’yang projector.

Isinak’bit na n’ya ang shoulder bag sa kanang balikat ang ag na may lamang laptop sa kaliwa.

Humarap s’ya kay Ma’am Naomi at muling nagsalita. “Baka naman po may ibang pinagkakaabalahan ang mga bata kaya hindi sila makapag focus sa school works. Isa pa, medyo mahirap naman talaga ang subject natin Ma’am.”

Huminto si Ma’am Naomi sa pagliligpit at tinaasan ng kilay ang dalaga.

“Ma’am Hanna, sa tingin mo ba na sa murang edad nila, mayro’n pang ibang dapat pagkaabalahan bukod sa pag aaral.” Wika ng matanda.

“Sa isang bata, ang edukasyon ang pinaka mahalagang bagay at dapat unahin sa lahat.” Dagdag pa niya.

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“Tama ka po Ma’am, pero wag po kayong magalit sa mga bata. Hindi natin alam ang dahilan nila kung bakit sila hindi nila maituon ang buong pansin nila sa pag aaral.” Nakangiting sagot ni Miss Hanna.

Mabait sa mga estudyante si Miss Hanna. Dulot na rin ng kan’yang nakaraan sa kan’ya.

“Pwes, ako alam ko. Tamad sila at iresponsable. Yun na yon.” Mariin ang boses ni Ma’am Naomi.

“Ikaw talaga ma’am masyadong mainit ang ulo. Sabay na po tayong umuwi at bumyahe. May ikekwento rin po ako sa inyo.”

Nang matapos magligpit si Ma’am Naomi ay sabay silang lumabas ni Miss Hanna ng campus.

Habang naglalakad papuntang sakayan ng jeep ay nagkwento si Miss Hanna tungkol sa kan’yang nakaraan. Parehong malayo ang bahay ng dalawang guro mula sa paaralan at siguradong medyo mabagal din ang biyahe dahil sa trapiko.

Dahil doon, naisip ni Ma’am Hanna na may sapat siyang oras upang ikwento ang nais niyang ikwento kay Ma’am Naomi.

“Alam mo ba Ma’am Naomi, wala naman talagang kinalaman ang mga grado ng mga estudyante sa tagumpay na pwede nilang makamtan balang araw.” Ani Miss Hanna.

“Oo alam ko, pero hindi ‘yon dahilan para maging iresponsable sa mga gawain na inaatas ng guro.” Sagot ng matanda.

“Alam mo rin po ba Miss Naomi, nung panahon na estudyante pa lang ako. Mas malala pa ako sa mga estudyante mo. Hindi ko iniintindi ‘yang mga performance task na ‘yan at iba pang mga binibigay ng mga guro.”

Salaysay niya.

Natigilan si Ma’am Naomi at napatingin kay Miss Hanna. Nginitian siya nito.

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“Totoo po iyon. Naranasan ko na ring isumpa ng isang guro, hinusgahan ako at ang magiging kapalaran ko sa hinaharap. Cinonclude n’ya agad na dahil sa pagiging sakit ko sa ulo at pabaya ay wala na akong mararating sa buhay.”

Sa oras na iyon ay muling narinig ng kan’yang isipan ang mga sagutan nila ng kan’yang dating guro noong sya ay estudyante pa lamang.

“Hindi na ako magtataka na bukas makalawa mababalitaan ko buntis ka na. Wala ka namang pangarap sa buhay di’ba Hanna?”

“Ang dami mong sinasabi tanda, kung bukas makalawa buntis na ako,ikaw naman patay na.”

“Salbahe akong bata noon. Hindi ko iginagalang ang mga guro ko.

Maging mabait man o strikta. Wala akong pinipili. Sobrang pangit ng ugali ko noon Ma’am Naomi. Buti na lang may isang guro na naglakas loob para tanungin ako, kung bakit ako ganito.” Pagsasalaysay ni Miss Hanna habang nakatingin sa kalangitan at naglalakad kasabay ni Ma’am Naomi.

“Parang ayokong maniwala sa sinasabi mong ‘yan Ma’am Hanna. Hindi ko makita sa hilatsa ng mukha mo na napaka walang modo mong bata noon.” Tugon ni Ma’am Naomi sa kwento ni Hanna.

“Ang ibig kong sabihin, napaka hinhin mong guro at sobrang bait. Parati kang nakangiti. Ma’am Hanna, wag ka ngang gumawa ng storya para lang ipagtanggol ang mga tamad na studyante sa akin.” Dagdag pa niya Muling ngumiti si Ma’am Hanna at nagsalita, “Hindi po ako nagtatahi ng kwento.” Naglaro ang mga imahe ng nakaraan sa isipan ng dalagang guro.

“Ang totoo n’yan, iniligtas lang ako ng isa sa mga teacher ko mula sa pagkapariwara.Makinig po kayo sa kwento ko ma’am.”

Bumuntong hininga na lamang ang matanda at umoo sa sinabi ni Hanna.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

Kailan kaya? | 42

FLASHBACK Hanna’s Point of View Alas otso ng umaga, nakaupo ako sa bus stop. Balak ko sanang gumala mag isa ngayon sa Maynila.

Buti na lang naniwala sa’kin si Mama na may field trip kami kaya binigyan ako nang pera. Tinatamad akong pumasok. Bubungangaan lang naman ako ng teacher ko ngayon at papagawain ng mga activity na hindi ko naman kailangan sa buhay ko.

Ayaw ko ring magstay sa bahay, binging bingi na ako sa away ni Mama at Papa. Paulit ulit na lang sila. Manong kung maghihiwalay, maghiwalay na lang. Tapos ako bahala na ko sa buhay ko. Hindi ko kailangan ng mga magulang na walang pakealam sa akin.

“Hindi ka na naman ba papasok, Hannalou? May presentation kayo sa arts ngayon, hindi ba?”

Hindi ko nilingon ang babaeng nagsalita. Sigurado akong pipilitin lang n’ya akong pumasok. Nagkunwari akong walang narinig. .

“Nagbibingi-bingihan ka na naman. Halika, ililibre kita ng breakfast.

Sumama ka lang sa’kin. Pumasok ka sa klase mo.”

Ano bang akala sa akin nitong si Teacher Amira? Mukha ba akong walang perang patay gutom na magpapauto sa alok n’yang yon.

“May pera ako teacher Amira. Di mo ako mauuto, umalis ka na. Iwanan mo na ako rito.” Wika ko sabay irap sa kan’ya.

“Hanna…”

“Wag mo rin akong pagbantaan na dadalhin mo ako sa Principal’s office dahil kakagaling ko lang do’n kahapon. Hindi ako natatakot sa inyo.”

Agad kong sagot sa kan’ya dahil sa tono ng pagbigkas n’ya sa pangalan ko ay alam kong ito ang susunod niyang sasabihin.

Naramdaman kong umupo s’ya sa tabi ko.

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Nakakairita.

“Hanna, gusto ko lang malaman. Aware ba ang parents mo sa mga ginagawa mo? Kasi kapag pinapatawag sila sa’yo ni Mrs. Gonzales, hindi mo sila pinapapunta. Kapag naman tinatawagan namin ang contact number nila, laging busy ang linya, kung hindi naman busy, nakapatay ang phone nila. Hanna, pwede ba akong sumama sa bahay n’yo minsan?”

May kumirot bigla sa katawan ko.

Para sa akin, tila mga karayom ang mga tanong ni teacher Amira na ‘yon. Mga karayom na nagparamdam sa akin ng kirot, dito banda sa aking dibdib.

“Bakit ba gusto n’yo silang makita? Ako nga inis na inis sa mga pagmumuka nila.” Pagsusuplada ko Sa lahat ng ayaw ko, tinatanong ako tungkol sa mga magulang ko.

“May problema kayo ng family mo noh?” aniya.

Hindi ako sumagot. Bahala ka magdadaldal d’yan.

“Alam kong may problema kang dinidibdib. Kaya siguro wala kang gana sa pag aaral. Hanna, kung gusto mo ng karamay sa problema mo, may’ron kang teacher Amira na handang makinig sa’yo.”

Kumikirot lalo ang dibdib ko. Hindi nakakatulong sa’kin ang pakikipag usap.

Gusto kong murahin ang gurong katabi ko.

Gusto ko s’yang sagutin nang pabalang, pero hindi talaga kaya ng konsensya ko na bastusin s’ya.

Sa totoo lang, sa lahat ng teacher ko ngayong taon, si Teacher Amira lang ang nagpapakita sa’kin ng kabutihan. Yung iba, laging masungit at galit kapag kausap ako.

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At ang bagay na iyon ang naging dahilan para respetuhin ko s’ya.

“Kung ang pakiramdam mo man ay nag iisa ka at walang kaibigan o pamilyang masasandalan. Nagkakamali ka, anak. Nandito ako para sa’yo.”

Muntik nang tumulo ang aking luha nang tawagin akong “anak” ng guro ko.

Simula pagkabata hanggang ngayon, hindi pa ako tinatawag ni mama o ni papa na “anak.” Maliit pa lang ako lagi na silang wala sa bahay.

Busy sa trabaho.

Gigising ako sa umaga, nakaalis na sila. Palagi ko ring nakakatulugan ang paghihintay sa pag uwi nila. Siguro kung hindi naimbento ang dayoff, baka hindi ko na nakilala ang magulang ko.

Ang isa pang nakakainis, parang hindi sila mag asawa. Mas madalas pa silang mag away kaysa maglambingan. Palaging mainit ang ulo ni mama, si papa naman laging tahimik at puro panonood ng basketball ang inaatupag.

Ako, na nag iisa nilang anak, nasanay maging mag isa. Katulong na nga lang nagpalaki sa’kin ang sungit sungit pa.

Ang malas ko sa pamilyang kinabagsakan ko. Parang hindi pamilya.

Ang layo layo namin sa isa’t isa.

At lalong naging malayo nang malaman naming lahat na may ibang babae si papa. Matagal na pala nyang niloloko si mama. Ang masaklap pa doon, nabuntis ang kabit ni papa.

Sa totoo lang, anim na b’wan na ata ang nakalilipas mula noong malaman namin ang bagay na ‘yon. Simula noon palagi nang may sigawan sa bahay.

Umabot pa sa puntong muntik saksakin ni mama si papa.

Nasaksihan ko ang bagay na’yon. Wala akong kasama. Mag isa lang ako.

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Ang malas ko sa magulang ko. Oo, mayaman sila. Binigay nila sa akin lahat ng luhong hinihingi ko, pero kahit kailan hindi man lang nila ako kinamusta. O kahit sabihin man lang na “mahal ka namin, anak.”

Doon ako nagsimulang tamarin at mawalan ng gana sa pag aaral.

Ayoko nang mamroblema sa mga Gawain sa school.

Magpapakasaya na lang ako nang mag isa.

“Bakit hindi mo subukang maging open sa akin, Hanna. Maniwala ka, kapag sinasabi mo sa isang kaibigan ang sama ng loob mo, mababawasan ang bigat na dinadala mo.” Wika ni Teacher Amira.

Biglang dumating ang bus na b’yaheng Maynila.

Tumayo na ako at inayos ang aking sarili para sumakay.

Bago pa man lumakad palayo ay muli kong hinarap si Teacher Amira “Salamat na lang sa’yo teacher Amira, pero kung ano man ang problema ko, labas ka na doon. Kaya ko po ang sarili ko.”

Iniwan kong mag isa ang guro ko at sumakay na ng bus. Magpapalamig ako ng ulo, gagala ako sa Maynila. Bahala na kung saan ako makarating.

Wala namang maghahanap sa akin.

Habang nasa b’yahe ay tila masakit pa rin ang dibdib ko.

Teacher Amira, lalo mo lang pinabigat ang loob ko.

END OF FLASHBACK “Talaga po, estudyante n’yo si Teacher Amira!” gulat na wika ni Hanna nang malamang estudyante ni Ma’am Naomi si Teacher Amira noon.

“Hindi ako makapaniwalang studyante ka pala ni Amira. Hindi na ako magugulat sa nagawa n’yang pagpapabago sa’yo.” Nakangiting wika ni Ma’am Naomi kay Hanna.

Kailan kaya? | 46

Tila nakalimutan na ng matanda ang init ng kan’yang ulo dahil sa pagkalibang sa kwento ni Hanna. Marahil ay nabigla s’ya na ang dati n’yang mag aaral na si Amira ay ang kasalukuyang babae na kinikilalang ina ng kasama n’ya ngayong guro.

“Grabe, ang liit talaga ng mundo.”

“Kung alam mo lang Ma’am Hanna. Napakatatag na babae ni Amira.

Hindi biro ang pinagdaanan n’ya sa buhay. Pero kinaya n’ya lahat ng ‘yon. Nagawa n’yang magtagumpay sa kabila ng lahat. Hanggang ngayon Ma’am Hanna ipinagmamalaki ko s’ya.”

Hindi namalayan ng dalawang guro na narrating na nila ang sakayan ng jeep.

“Alam ko po ang mga nangyari kay Teacher Amira noon. Ikinwento n’ya sa akin ang lahat.” Tugon ni Hanna sinabi ng matanda.

“Maniniwala ka bang muntik na s’yang tumalon sa rooftop ng main building noon? Namatay kasi yung maliit nyang kapatid dahil may sakit at wala silang pera pampagamot. Siguro pakiramdam n’ya noon mag isa na lang s’ya at nawala na ang lahat sa kan’ya. Mabuti na lang nandoon ako kaya napigilan ko s’ya sa balak n’yang gawin.” Pagsasalaysay ni Ma’am Naomi.

Bumilog ang mga mata ni Hanna sa narinig, pagka’t hindi naikwento ng kan’yang teacher Amira ang pangyayaring iyon.

“M-magpapakamatay si Teacher Amira, at niligtas n’yo sya?”

“Oo ma’am, napakatagal na pala no’n. Hindi rin ako makapaniwala na ang batang pinigilan ko noon sa pagpapatiwakal, matagumpay na nalagpasan lahat. At nakatulong pa sa taong nangangailangan ng kalinga.

Nakakatuwang isipin.” Nakangiti ang mga mata at labi ni Ma’am Naomi habang nagkukwento. Tuwang tuwa s’ya nang malamang matagumpay palang nakabangon ang dati n’yang mag aaral.

Di nagtagal ay may huminto nang jeep sa kanilan harapan at nagbabaan ang ilang pasahero. Sa wakas, makakasakay na sila.

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“Ma’am Naomi sakay na tayo, may ikekwento ulit ako sa’yo habang nasa b’yahe tayo.” Ani Miss Hanna.

FLASHBACK Hanna’s Point of View Ala sais ng hapon, wala nang gaanong tao dito sa skwelahan.

Malakas ang ihip ng hangin sa lugar na kinatatayuan kp ngayon. Kitang kita ko rin ang buong campus pati na rin ang labas ng paaralan.

Ang ganda ng tanawin, kulay kahel ang langit.

Ang gandang pagmasdan ng mga ibong lumilipad sa kalangitan, pauwi na siguro sila sa mga pugad nila kung saan naroon ang pamilya nila.

Sana naging ibon na lang ako, para maranasan ko na may nag iintay sa akin sa pag uwi ko.

Tumingin ako sa ibaba. Mahigit isang daang talampakan siguro ang taas ng kakabagsakan ko kung tatalon ako mula rito. Sapat na ang taas na ‘yon para ikamatay ko ang pagtalon mula rito.

Perpektong araw at oras para mamatay. Tutal wala na akong dahilan para mabuhay.

May ibang pamilya na ang ama ko, wala na s’yang pakealam sa akin.

Nasa mental hospital ang ina ko, hindi na siguro ako kilala ng sira ulong ‘yon.

Wala rin naman ako ni isang kaibigan. Wala akong maiiwanang mahal sa buhay o mga taong nagmamahal sa akin.

Ito na ang wakas Hanna.

Isang hakbang lang ay matatahimik na ako habang buhay.

Isang hakbang.

Humakbang ako pasulong upang magpatihulog at mamatay.

Kailan kaya? | 48

Ngunit sa isang Segundo ay naramdaman ko ang dalawang braso na yumakap sa aking baywang na napigilan ako mula sa pagtalon.

“Ito ba talaga sa tingin mo ang pinaka magandang solusyon sa problema mo Hanna?”

Boses iyon ni teacher Amira.

“Paano mo ako nahanap? Bitawan mo ako. Hayaan mo na akong matahimik.”

“Kanina pa kita sinusubaybayan. Sinusundan kita kahit saan. Hindi ko inaasahang ganito ang plano mong gawin ngayon.” Naririnig ko ang paghikbi niya habang nagsasalita.

Teacher Amira, bakit mo ito ginagawa?

“Wala nang dahilan para mabuhay ako. Walang masasaktan kung mawawala ako. Hayaan mo ako sa gusto kong gawin, UMALIS KA NA!” Tuluyang bumagsak ang luha sa mga mata ko at sinigawan ang gurong nasa likod ko.

“Hanna, hindi ito ang makapagpapabago sa lahat. Hindi pa huli para sa’yo.” Wika n’ya.

“Hindi mo ako naiintindihan teacher Amira! Palibhasa mabait ka at may kwenta, maraming nagmamahal sa’yo. Marami kang kaibigan na masasandalan. Magkaiba tayo teacher Amira! mag isa na lang ako sa buhay ko. Kaya wag na wag mong sasabihin sa akin kung anong dapat kong gawin!” pasigaw kong sabi sa kan’ya.

Buong lakas ay hinatak n’ya ako mula sa aking kinatatayuan. Pareho kaming bumagsak sa sahig.

Nakita ko ang mukha ni teacher Amira.

Luhaan ngunit tila galit ang ekspresyon.

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“Tama ka Hanna. Magkaiba tayo, dahil hindi lang magulang ang nawala sa akin noon!”

-Amira’s Point of View“Happy Birthday, Daddy!” sabay sabay naming sigaw nina Mommy at Caleb.

Sobrang ganda ng araw na’to maaliwalas ang lahat.

Gusto sana ni Mommy ng grand celebration pero sabi ni Daddy, gusto n’ya kaming apat lang.

Pero ang saya saya kahit simple lang ang handaan.

Mayroong mga letter balloons na bumubuo sa mga salitang “HAPPY 46TH BDAY DADDY.” May ilan lang na putahe ang nakahain na kasya para sa aming apat, at isang black forest cake na binili ko lang sa red ribbon.

Last week pa nga ako nangungulit kay Mom na gusto ko ako ang bumili ng cake for Daddy’s birthday.

Well, nasunod naman ang gusto ko.

“Daddy magwish ka muna.” Sabi ni Caleb. Ang cute cute ng baby boy namin. Nakakatuwa lang dahil ang tatas na n’yang magsalita para sa two years old na bata.

“Okay baby.” Si Daddy, sabay pikit at ihip sa birthday candle nya.

“YEHEYYYYY.” Sigaw naming tatlo.

“Happy Birthday, Dad.” – Ako “Happy birthday, Daddy,” – Baby Caleb “Happy birthday, love. I love you.” – Mommy “Thank you mga baby ko. And I love you too, love.” Sabi n’ya saka

Kailan kaya? | 50

inakbayan si Mom then kissed her forehead.

“Mommy lang may kiss.” Bulong ni Caleb.

Narinig s’ya ni Dad kaya agad s’yang pinangko nito at pinupog ng halik.

Tawa nang tawa si Caleb.

“Oh ikaw din Mira, baka magtampo ka rin. Halika nga dito.”

Nagulat ako nang bigla akong niyakap ni Daddy at pinaghahalikan.

“Daddy naman eh hahahahahahaha” I giggled.

Napakasaya ng araw na’to. Sana hindi ito magbago. Sana kasama ko pa rin sina Mom, Dad at Caleb hanggang pagtanda.

-9 hours later12 midnight, nandito kami ni Caleb sa loob ng cabinet sa ilalim ng lababo.

Nagtatago.

“Ate, sila mommy.” Bulong ng maliit kong kapatid habang umiiyak.

“Shhh. Wag kang maingay baby.” Hindi ko rin mapigilang umiyak.

Punong puno ng takot ang buo kong katawan at nasisiguro kong gano’n din si Caleb.

“NASAN ANG DIAMANTENG PIGURIN.” Rinig kong sigaw ng isang lalaki.

Nakasisiguro ako na ang tinutukoy n’ya ay ang Diamond Figurine ng virgin Mary na lolo ng lola ko pa ang gumawa.

Iyon ang pinakamalaki at pinakamahalagang asset ng angkan namin.

“HINDI N’YO ‘YON PWEDENG KUHANIN SA AMIN!” sigaw ni Daddy pabalik.

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Pagkatapos no’n ay isang malakas na putok ng baril ang narinig ko.

Wala akong nagawa kundi yakapin nang mahigpit si Caleb at umiyak nang umiyak.

“IKAW MRS. AZRAEL, NASAAN ANG PIGURIN!” sigaw ulit ng lalake.

Hindi ko narinig na sumagot si Mommy “SAGOT!” Hindi pa rin nagsalita si Mom. “Ayaw mong sabihin Mrs. Azrael. Sige. Mga kumag, hanapin n’yo yung dalawang bata.”

Dumoble ang takot na nararamdaman ko sa narinig ko.

“Sandali!” narinig ko ang hagulgol ni Mama Ramdam ko ang labis na takot na nararamdaman ng Mommy ko na nababakas sa panginginig ng boses n’ya.

“N-nasa basement. Nasa dining ang pinto pababa doon. Please, wag n’yo nang idamay ang mga anak ko.” Iyak ni Mom “Mga kumag, wag nyo na daw idamay ang mga bata. Madali akong kausap Mrs. Azrael.

Makakaasa kang hindi masasaktan ang mga anak mo, pero paalam na sa’yo.”

Isa pang malakas na putok ng baril ang narinig ko.

Puno ng takot, wala akong nagawa. Wala na sina Mommy at Daddy…

-5 years later“Ate bakit ka umiiyak, anong sabi ng doctor.” Wika ng inosente kong

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kapatid na si Caleb.

“Tears of joy to Caleb, sabi ni doc gagaling ka na daw.” Pagsisinungaling ko.

Limang taon na ang nakalilipas mula noong mamatay ang nanay at tatay ko.

Simula noong mawala sila, si Tiya Sabrina na ang umampon sa amin ni Caleb.

Kapatid s’ya ni Mommy at ex girlfriend s’ya ni Daddy.

Malupit sa amin si Tiya Sabrina.

Sinasaktan n’ya kami at pinahihirapan.

Bagay na hindi namin naranasan kahit kailan noong mga panahong buhay pa ang mga magulang namin.

Dahil doon, napagdesisyunan namin ni Caleb na umalis doon, at manirahan sa kalye.

Sa labis na kagipitan, hindi ako nakapag ipon ng sapat na pera para sa operasyon ng kapatid ko.

May tumor sa utak ang kapatid ko, at wala nang pag asang magamot dahil lumala na ito nang lumala.

Ngayon si Caleb naman, ang nakatakdang mawala sa akin. Bukas, o sa makalawa, mawawala na ang natitira kong kayamanan.

Panginoon, bakit hinayaan mong mangyari lahat ng ‘to?

Niyakap ko nang mahigpit ang kapatid ko at umiyak ako nang umiyak.

Hindi ko lubos masukat ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Kasalanan ko ‘to. Kung nakahanap lang siguro ako agad ng pera, baka

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nailigtas kita Caleb.

Hinding hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko sa pagkawala mo.

“Ate wag ka nang umiyak, gagaling na ako di’ba, bakit sad ka pa rin?” nakangiti ang kapatid ko. Paniwalang paniwala s’ya sa aking sinabi.

“Sobrang saya ko kasi baby. Mawawalan na tayo ng problema, at matatapos na ang paghihirap mo.” Umiiyak at nanginginig ang boses ko.

“Ako rin ate, masaya ako. Thank you ate.” Sagot nya.

Hindi ako nakasagot, lalong nagtuluy- tuloy ang pag agos ng mga luha sa mga mata ko.

“Ate…” tawag n’ya sa akin “Yes, baby?”

“Pwede ba tabi tayo matulog ngayong gabi. Dito ka sa bed, gusto ko kayakap kita.”

Napahagulgol ako sa kan’yang hiniling.

“SURE, BABY…SURE.” Palakas nang palakas ang hagulgol ko haban yakap yakap ang kapatid kong walang kaalam alam.

Hindi ko na s’ya binitawan sa mga pagkakataong iyon.

Natulog kaming magkayakap.

Kinaumagahan, hindi na gumising si Caleb.

Napakasama kong kapatid.

Wala man lang akong nagawa.

Hindi ko s’ya naipagamot.

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Pinaasa ko s’ya na may bukas pa.

Caleb, patawad.

-20 years laterNapakatagal na panahon na ang lumipas. I never dreamed of walking down the aisle wearing a white dress and holding a bouquet of white roses.

Ikakasal na ako sa lalaking nagparamdam sa akin ng tunay na pag ibig.

Tumulo ang luha mula sa aking mga mata.

Luhang produkto ng labis na kasiyahan.

Mommy, Daddy, Caleb. Eto na ako ngayon, sana nakikita n’yo ako.

“Amira, do you take Jiro, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes father, I do.”

“Jiro, do you take Amira, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“Yes father, I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride” Inalis n’ya ang belong humaharang sa aking mukha.

Kinurot ang aking baba, at hinalikan ang aking mga labi.

Ganito pala kasaya, ang pakiramdam na ikasal sa taong gusto mong makasama habambuhay.

-1 year later“Jiro, I’m sorry.”

“Mira…mabubuhay ba ng sorry ang anak ko?”

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“Kung nakinig ka lang sana sa’kin. Sinabi ko sa’yo na wag ka nang magtrabaho. Tingnan mo ngayon ang nangyare.”

Wala na naman akong nagawa kundi umiyak.

Alam ko, kung gaano kagalit sa akin ngayon si Jiro.

Namatay ang anak namin na nasa sinapupunan ko pa lang, at kasalanan ko ‘yon.

Nagpumilit akong magtrabaho, at nabangga ang jeep na sinasakyan ko papuntang eskwelahan.

“Pinatay mo ang anak ko Mira.”

Matapos ang araw na iyon ay agad na nagfile ng annullment si Jiro, at mula noon ay hindi ko na s’ya nakita o nakausap, nabalitaan ko na lang na may pamilya na s’ya.

Hindi ko lubos masukat ang sakit na makita ang lalaking pinaka mamahal ko na masaya na ngayon sa piling ng ibang tao.

Hanna’s Point of View “Pinatay ang mga magulang ko. Yung kapatid ko namatay sa sakit dahil wala akong pera para ipagamot s’ya. Namatay ang anak ko.

Iniwan ako ng asawa ko. Sige Hanna, ngayon mo sabihin na hindi ko nauunawaan ang sakit na nararamdaman mo ngayon.”

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita nang marinig ang mga isinalaysay ni teacher Amira.

“Ilang beses nang sinubukan ng tadhana na paguhuin ang mundo ko pero heto pa rin ako ngayon. Nananatiling nakatayo at lumalaban.”

Napuno ng kirot ang puso ko.

Naghahalong sakit na dulot ng sitwasyon ngayon, at sakit para sa mga narinig kong salaysay ni teacher Amira.

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Sa araw araw pala na nakikita ko ang guro ko na nakangiti at masaya, ay mayroong nakatagong sugat ng nakaraan.

Ngayon nauunawaan ko na, kung bakit gusting gusto mo akong pigilan magpakamatay.

Yun ay dahil, alam mong may pag asa pang mabago ang buhay ko.

Hindi ko pa panahon, dahil hindi ko pa nararanasan ang tunay na saya.

Hindi ako pwedeng mamatay.

Kailangan kong maging matagumpay, katulad na lamang ng nagawa ni Teacher Amira.

“Hanna, alam kong sobrang hirap tanggapin ng lahat at sobrang hirap bumangon ulit. Hayaan mo akongtulungan kang baguhin ang lahat.”

Umiiyak pa rin si teacher Amira.

Lumakad s’ya palapit sa akin at iniabot ang kan’yang kamay bilang pag aalok ng tulong.

“Halika.”

Hinawakan ko ang kan’yang kamay at tumayo.

Sa araw na iyon nagsimula, ang pagbangon ko mula sa kalupitan sa akin ng tadhana.

END OF FLASHBACK “Sobrang laki ng pasasalamat ko sa teacher Amira ko. Kundi dahil sa kan’ya wala ako dito ngayon.” Naggilid ang luha sa mga mata ni Hanna.

Biglang nabuhay sa kanyang kalooban ang pagkagalak.

“Hindi pa rin s’ya makapaniwala na nangyari na sa kan’ya ang pagbabagong nais n’ya, at naranasan na rin n’yang maging masaya nang

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walang kirot na tinatago.

Kasalukuyang nakatira sa loob ng iisang bahay si Teacher Amira at Miss Hanna.

Itinuring na nila ang isa’t isa bilang pamilya.

Tumawa si Ma’am Naomi nang mahina dahil sa kan’yang naiisip.

“Kaya pala todo tanggol ka sa mga estudyanteng tamad hahaha, dahil ganoon ka rin noon. Akalain mo. Teacher 1 ka na ngayon Ma’am Hanna.”

Tuwang tuwang wika nito.

“Yun na nga po mismo ang gusto kong iparating. Kaya Ma’am Naomi, kapag ang isang estudyante ay nawawalan ng gana mag aral, wag kang magalit. Sa halip, tanungin mo s’ya kung bakit. Tayong mga guro, walang alam sa kung ano ang nasa likod ng isang bata.”

Ngumiti at tumango lamang si Miss Naomi.

Ang hindi alam ni Hanna ay may mas masalimuot pang nakaraan sa likod ng matandang guro na kausap n’ya.

Sadyang nadala na lamang ng katandaan ang pagiging mainitin ng ulo ni Ma’am Naomi.

Ngunit katulad na lamang ng nangyari sa pagitan ni Amira at Hanna, minsan na ring iniligtas ni Ma’am Naomi si Amira mula sa pagpapatiwakal, at ang dahilan, ay dahil labis n’yang nauunawaan ang sitwasyon ng bata.

Hindi namalayan ng dalawang guro na malapit na pala sila sa kanilang uuwian ngunit nang huminto ang jeep malapit sa bookstore ay nagpaalam na ang dalagang guro.

“Ma’am Naomi, dito na lang po ako bababa. May bibilhin pa po akong libro sa book store. Ingat ho kayo ha.” Pagpapaalam ng dalaga.

“Sige Ma’am, ikaw rin.”

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Tuluyang bumaba ng jeep si Hanna. Sabik na sabik itong lumakad patungo sa book store upang bilhin ang bagong labas na volume ng librong paboritong paborito ng kan’yang teacher Amira.

Matapos mabili ang aklat ay dali dali s’yang umuwi.

Narating n’ya ang kanilang tahanan.

Ngiting ngiti siya at sabik na sabik ipakita sa gurong si Amira ang nabili n’yang aklat.

Paboritong paborito ito ni teacher Amira at siguradong matutuwa ito kapag natanggap na n’ya ang bagong volume na binili ni Hanna para sa kan’ya.

Kumatok s’ya sa pinto ngunit walang nagbubukas.

“Teacher Amira.”

Wala pa ring sumagot.

Naisip ng dalaga na baka natutulog na ang kanyang ina inahan pagka’t alam n’yang madali nang mapagod at manghina si Teacher Amira dahil sa sakit nitong iniinda.

Oo may sakit ang pobreng guro, sakit sa puso.

Agad na nagtungo si Hanna sa pinto sa likod ng bahay na patungo sa kanilang kusina.

Pagpasok na pagpasok ng pinto ay hindi inaasahang gumuho ang buong mundo ni Hanna nang makita si Teacher Amira na nakahandusay sa sahig, nangingitim ang balat, walang buhay.

-5 years laterNakatayo ang dalagang si Miss Hanna sa rooftop ng main building kung saan siya nagbalak magpatihulog noon.

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Nakatayo ang dalagang si Miss Hanna sa rooftop ng main building kung saan siya nagbalak magpatihulog noon.

Limang taon na ang nagdaan simula noong sumakabilang buhay si Amira. Makalipas ang tatlong taon ay nabalitaan na lamang ni Hanna na sumunod na si Ma’am Naomi sa pinuntahan ni Amira.

Sumakabilang buhay ang guro dahil rin sa sakit na iniindang, dala ng katandaan.

Ngumiti siya sa asul na kalangitan.

Nakaramdam ng tuwa.

Si Ma’am Naomi at Teacher Amira, namatay silang may dalang tagumpay sa hukay.

Gamit ang lahat-lahat ng bagay na itinuro ni teacher Amira, pinilit ni Hanna na manatiling nakatayo sa kabila ng pagkawala ng nag iisa n’yang mahal sa buhay.

Kanina pa napapansin ni Hanna na balisa ang estudyante n’yang si Sarah.

Ilang araw na rin itong napag iiwanan sa klase at tila tamad na tamad nang mag aral.

Sa buong maghapon ay sinundan n’ya ang bata kahit saan ito magtungo sa loob ng campus.

Hanggang sa dalhin s’ya nito sa rooftop ng main building kung saan nagbalak s’ya at si teacher Amira, na tapusin ang kanilang mga buhay.

Agad na pumasok sa kan’yang isip na may balak magpatiwakal si Sarah.

Palihim n’ya itong sinundan at hindi nga siya nagkamali, nagbabalak itong tumalon at tapusin ang sariling buhay.

Buong lakas na hinila ni Hanna sa baywang si Sarah, gamit ang

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dalawang braso n’ya na ipinulupot dito.

“Sarah, kung ano man ang problema mo ngayon, hindi ito ang solusyon para doon.”

Illustration by Ylai Lomotan

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The Limbless

Kurt Lance Maximillian B. Lopez, 9 SPSTE Belardo The people of the town of Aurembiaix were very rich. The town was full of mansions, manors and castles. Markets were in grand halls and people wore glamorous and elegant clothing. Even pets wore hats and leashes of gold. The streets were lined with horses adorned with crystals and hooves made of platinum. All of it was expensive and extravagant, made of jewels and gold. No one was poor there. There was one problem all of the citizens shared, however — they all wanted more.

Their riches weren’t enough for them. They gathered ideas and experimented with every single one but none of them worked. People started to get angry. Fortunately for them, a citizen found a way. His name was Damian Winchester. One night, he couldn’t sleep because of the thought that no one has found a solution to get more riches. Then, a thought came striking in like a train at full speed. He said, “I’ve got it!”

He rushed down the stairs. “No looking back.” he said, pulling out a saw and cutting off his leg. He then went to the neighboring village and sold his leg. He earned thousands of gold coins.

The news reached the citizens of Aurembiaix and they started cutting parts after part of their bodies until their torsos and heads were the only things left. Aurembians, with their vaults and stacks of gold, bought servants, paid per month, to take care of them. But when the time came, all of their riches went to the servants. They started to get angry. Their faces got red and the rage began. With all their might, they cut off the parts of them that were left, stabbing and dismembering one another, hoping that it could be sold. Suddenly, the fighting stopped. Everyone was dead.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Essay

Do you still remember?

Jaymee Rose M. Dionisio, 11 STEM B

Do you still remember those days? Those good old days that went by so fast are now just a memory for us. But those memories will always be treasured and kept in my heart.

Our high school years were the best part of my life and will always be.

You made me feel like I was not alone and that you would always be there to support me and help me to find myself. You made me felt the happiness that I never thought I would experience. You told me that we were free to do whatever we like and be crazy once in a while.

With all the stress in our academics, you still came and reminded us to take breaks and never give up. But despite all the comfort you provided for me, deep in your heart, you felt those worries too. I always hope that all of them are gone and that you feel better now.

Sometimes, I regret the times when I did the wrong things and made the wrong decisions. But you always told me that those things were part of growing up and taught us how to be a better version of ourselves.

You became one of my inspirations to keep thriving in life. We were part of one another’s dreams and planned what we wanted to do and achieve someday. We promised that no matter what path we took and chose, we would fulfill our dreams together and fight for them.

I have learned a lot from you. The old me has changed and become better now, all thanks to you. I do not know how to express my sincere gratitude for you being part of my life as I think a simple “thank you” will not be enough.

I have realized that the quote, “Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment is accurate and realistic. If I could go back and do those things again with you, I would.

I hope we will cross paths and meet each other again. I’m looking forward to it, my friends.

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Familiar Strangers Trisha Reid T. Insigne, 9 SPJ Soliven

But what if the heart also forgets what the mind did?

Along with the music echoing through my ears, was the thousands of thoughts rummaging in my head. I might seem quiet, all steady, and frozen — but I know everything that happens around my own presence.

For the first time in almost 10 months of being locked inside a suffocating household, I finally got to see a whole new world. Thankful for the occasion that came to our family, it seems like a new thing for me again to wear my shoes, dress up and have that tingly feeling about going out.

What’s so exciting about it? No one would know except the prisoners.

Prisoners, I mean, by everyone who was held captive inside a familiar and unfamiliar room. And I was more than fortunate to know that I am locked inside a familiar room – my house. While those other people we’re forced locked inside an unfamiliar room – with dextrose, with oxygen masks, and with strangers whom they’ve never met before.

At least...at least that’s what I’m thankful for now.

I thought the outside world would be more different than what I had expected. I thought I’ll see less and less people wandering around the streets, less vehicles and less everything. But I was rather stunned at the moment I finally saw it.

It’s still the same. Same beings, same routine, and same world. But I never felt happy at all knowing that the world is slowly going back to its old self.

Because everything still seemed unfamiliar.

Yes...there are people on the streets, but they’re wearing masks and face shields. Yes..there are vehicles running around but not the same vehicles I see every day. Yes..there are open restaurants already but not with as

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people as back then. Yes... the world is slowly coming back again but into a new one.

I felt scared.

So, so scared that I’m even afraid to remember everything that I’ve done back then. I don’t want to remember waking up early in the morning and going to school. I don’t want to remember reciting and participating in school activities. I don’t want to remember going home with aching back because of my backpack. I don’t want to remember the times when I came late at our practice. And most importantly...

I don’t want to remember anything that I did before because I don’t want to regret.

I don’t want to regret not cherishing all the time I had back then. I don’t want to rethink everything that I should have done even before this.

Because there’s no point in the regrets.

Everything is changing. The world has more to offer than what we expect it to do, but at this point — it’s quite alarming.

For now, I’m much more thankful that I still breathe, that I can still eat three times a day, that I have a shelter to live in, and that I am all fine and safe. The past few years made me want everything that I see, but this year taught me how to appreciate the things that I have.

So many things happened in the past few months, and I can’t remember any good news because it was all flooded by bad news. Calamities and tragedies felt like the second name of 2020, and I did not expect that I’ll live in a year of pandemic with overflowing calamities.

Everyone went away — everything did. All these walls around us are growing much taller and thicker. We are all inside our rooms, no one knows what we’re up to. Bedrooms, living rooms, hotel rooms, hospital rooms — count everything with rooms — but the room that I’ve been looking for wasn’t quite visible.

Can we please, please...have some room for peace?

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The past of my youth, what lies behind the future David Lance C. Fernandez, 10-7

When I was just a humble youth, I witnessed something memorable in everyone’s eyes.

The alpine grass of the windy plains, the voices of the children all at play, the alluring voice of my crooning mother as she lulls the newborn child to a deep slumber, my father who taught me the ways of the world, my grandmother’s sewing tools in her old cookie box, listening to an old vinyl recording playing on my grandparents’ dusty phonograph, and my grandfather’s old blue eyes; the eyes that saw history.

It was a very serene childhood of my past. Yet I always longed for more, more than what I wanted, more than what I needed. I always showed discontentment towards the things I assumed were not important in my young and naive life.

Back when I was a child, I remember pranking my old grumpy neighbor by yelling nonsense while he was napping at noon, cutting classes whenever I wanted, spending my coins playing games at the computer shop, hiding my card to my parents because of my low grades, having my grandmother beside me whenever my mother is angry at me, Grandpa telling stories about his early days, how he fought in the Second World War, how he met Grandma, how he became a hippie back in the days of his youth and good looks. How I miss those days.

As my childhood drifts away, shifting to teenage life, I find some things new and alien to me at the start. Indeed, everything is anxious and daunting at the start of the road. But being a teenager was arguably the best and the most memorable period of my life. I have made a lot of friends, as well as foes and rivals. I joined many shows, some well known, some are not. I wrote stories about the things I have seen, some are pleasant, some are not. Every souvenir of every moment is placed atop my shelf was once brand new. Now all of what is left of it is just plain old memories of my once joyful days.

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I recall doing embarrassing things at rehearsals, singing the wrong tunes, and playing the wrong notes. I remember staring at the moonlight as I dreamed about the girl I always longed for, night and day. Hanging out with my friends every Friday as well as walking myself home along a lonesome road. Loitering around with my classmates and watching all the people come and go. Oh, I miss the days of the past where I could still see the smiles of the people I love.

As I get closer to the end of my adolescence, I realized something important in my life — cherishing every moment of your life. You will never know the value of something until it becomes a memory. And I have made a terrible mistake: Not appreciating simple things.

Now as I get closer to adulthood, I feel anxious yet thrilled to see the future. I am too sad that I left my past, too anxious to leave the present, and too scared to meet the future; what lies behind the future? I do not know. All I can do for now is to cherish the moments that are yet to come.

I’m just happy to reminisce my unappreciated moments of the past back to the old days.

Illustration by Ethel Joyce Roxas

Covid

Personal Narratives in

Diaries

The Midst of the Pandemic

Poetry

Binago ng pagbabago Ricky Rich S. Alday, 11 HUMSS D Ilang buwan na nga ba?

Tama ka, labing isa.

Simula ng pandemya, Tuloy sa pagragasa.

Pinahirapan lahat, Mahirap naging salat.

Problema ay binigay, Sa lahat ng may buhay.

Estudyanteng tulad ko, Pag-aaral ay pano?

Nais ko ay matuto, Mabuhay di’y gusto ko.

Nagdaa’y dal’wang buwan, Nang klase ay simulan.

Kaya nga bang lagpasan, Ng mumunting isipan.

Tulad ng isang buto, Na nilagay sa paso.

Minsan maasikaso, Hinayaang tumubo.

Binigay sa’ming mapa, Wala namang direksyon.

Pupuntahan ay kita, Ngunit saan tutuon?

Kaya nga ba ng lahat?

Sa kagamita’y salat.

Hindi angkop sa edad, Pati kapasilidad.

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Mahina na koneksyon, Sabay sabay na leksyon.

Sariling pagtuturo?

Kaya ko nga ba ito?

Iyan ay ilan lamang, Sa daa’y nakaharang.

Papuntang hinaharap, Saming pinapangarap.

Mas lalong dumami man, Mga hadlang sa daan.

Hindi na iisipin, Paghakba’y tuloy parin.

Marami mang nagbago, Di naman mababago.

Nilalaman ng puso, Yun ay ang pangarap ko.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Sunrise

Ma. Andreah C. David, 10 SPJ Ople Though there are no red lights, everything seems to stop The doors all closed, even our favorite shops The noise that we used to hear in the streets is gone, Nothing left but armed forces holding guns This is a ceaseless battle, Where the enemy has no mercy Making our lives feel unworthy The light of hope ever so blurry As we are drawn in a sea of fear Our souls are driven to shed some tears What is worse than seeing a loved one die, Without even hearing a simple goodbye?

This year— this long and cruel year, Millions of people have lost their jobs and careers.

Occasions and ceremonies just disappear And the silence keeps growing louder in our ears.

An era ends, the new normal begins, Wherein hugging and kissing is like a sin Like a game where you don’t know who will win Old styles getting thrown in the bin But this year is a gift — an opportunity To do better for our community To show love, hope, kindness, and more No matter how life’s challenges reign galore This is a chance — a rare one To appreciate our borrowed lives To trust in His name that we will survive ‘Cause tomorrow a new adventure will arrive

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This is one of the hardest wars Where discipline is our only weapon, Humanity as our gear protection.

And unity as our path to salvation.

Let’s not just wait for the cure, Let’s act and be secure.

Don’t go to crowded places, Becoming one of those million cases, Wear your mask properly So you can save yourself and our society.

And we should be thankful to our modern heroes — Our brave frontliners, always in the throes ‘Cause even though they don’t have special powers, They constantly risk their lives to save others.

They fight with us wholeheartedly, without hesitation Gratitude to them is a must, our persistent obligation And one of the reasons why I am proud to be a Filipino, Beyond simple things like resilience, adaptability, and courage in these difficult times, Is that we have shown that we are also the most compassionate people alive, selflessly eager and always ready to help anybody in need.

And someday, we’ll see the smile on one another’s faces Finally exploring all of our dream places.

Without our anxiety, we will prevail Keep moving forward, it will not fail Just don’t give up, and let hope shine on your sight, If we all stick together, we shall win this fight.

Because after the strongest storms pass by, We’ll all be genuinely happy with the waves.

Where fear for us, means no longer an escape.

Better days will come, ‘cause in every sunrise There’s a hope that awaits at the start of our long lives.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Umaasa

Princess Jervie B. San Jose, 7 SPJ Locsin Mga batang naglalaro ng piko at tumbang preso, Umaga pa lamang ang ingay na ng tilaok ng manok, Mga taong lahat positibo at walang iniisip na sakit sa ulo, Ngunit nagbago na ito, nagbago na ngayon.

Maraming tao ngayon ang nagdudusa, Buhay at kabuhayan nawawala, Maski ang pagkikita-kita ngayon ay bawal na, Pananatili sa bahay at paghihintay para sa bukas ang ginagawa.

Diyos, ito na lamang ang tangi nating pag-asa, Paniniwala at pagtitiwala, ating ibigay sa Diyos ang pagpapasiya, Pagtupad sa tungkulin ating isagawa, Dahil ang Diyos lang ang magpapasiya at tayo ang gagawa.

Ako, Ikaw, Tayo, Umaasa sa darating na bukas, Pananatiling positibo hindi magwawakas, Sa panahong ito tayo’y magpakatatag, Upang ang mga taong may sakit ay mapanatag.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Short Story

The Weight of the Virus Sandy Gee C. Santiago, 10 SPJ Ople

The darkness clouded this city. Ever since the global pandemic happened, the world turned upside down with tomorrow starting to unfold each day, serving as an awakening event for all of us about the need to value everything you have on hand.

I quickly ran to our drawer, grabbing my face shield and alcohol before putting on my face mask. It has been 8 months since I have been away from the world. Even though it isn’t inflicting any physical harm on us, the emotional toll of keeping us from the world is already pure torture.

The thought of what lies outside sends a rush into my system.

While we were on the jeep to the grocery store, the unusual pace of my chest’s rise and fall abated. Along with the people around me, I couldn’t help myself as I started to feel paranoia. In my peripheral view, I saw people in uniforms stating where they work.

Gradually, I realized that these people are the new real life heroes in this time of new normal. They still served, interacted, and gave the people the services that I am sure that none of us would give. Especially the frontliners — doctors, nurses, and other essential workers who are having a tough time protecting and supervising people. Salute to those people who continuously provide life-saving support, having the heart to strive, protect, and fight for the people despite the threat of the virus.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Tales from the In and Out Lord Sebastian V. Liwanag, 12 STEM B

It was a damp morning on a December Day. I felt restless as I waited for the next bus. Every day, my aversion to people grew. It was like rabies, one of the side effects is the irrational fear of water, an essential part of life next to only food and air. I got on the bus and picked a seat by the window. Seemed like nobody took the bus anymore, there were two people in different rows in the back and one in the front. I breathed a sigh of relief. “The water is thin today,” I thought to myself as I leaned on the cold window.

I rummaged through my thoughts, fearing what was to come (or what might not). I felt the motion of the vehicle whimper as a woman sat beside me. “Couldn’t she sit anywhere else? There’s more than enough seats to—” My thoughts cut off as I grew bewildered by the number of people on the bus. I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease. All of the seats were taken and not just that. More people stood in between the seats.

“Where did these people come from? Did they utilize my brief time of reflection to get to me?!” My heart thumped like an untuned guitar. Faces without lips surrounded me, closing in on me. The quivering woman murmured something to me but I couldn’t hear it past my horror. I shakily turned to face her. Shriveled in my seat, I asked what she had said. “Achoo!” It burned.

It has been weeks since I last saw daylight. Not physically deprived but perhaps psychologically pushing myself far back from any edge. I cannot see the end, my joints rotting as I stare at what is possibly the thousandth episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine that I have watched. My book remains unwritten, my clothes unfolded, my nails ungroomed. The warden will come soon so I better prepare. I find myself taking a shower. This is my safe haven. I don’t mind the coldness of the water. They envelop me like a silk blanket, transporting me to a world where I’m free. Even weeks in here, I am still in disbelief that my girlfriend can’t visit me. We were supposed to get married a month ago. Everything changed when the incident happened.

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I dressed myself in my rumpled clothes. I tied my hair up, feeling a rush of confidence come back to me. “Ms. Alexandra?” Dread began to swell up again, overpowering the confidence I just had. “Yes?” I replied.

“You’re being released from quarantine today, you just have to fill out these forms…” My mind went numb. I didn’t hear the rest of what the warden said nor knew what to feel. For the first time in weeks, the mild sun shined on my oversensitive corneas. I find shade in a bus stop where I see a teary-eyed boy wiping his face. I wonder what happened to him.

Maybe he was a hypochondriac who couldn’t be in this day and age. I hopped on, still unable to see the end. Maybe that’s a good thing. But now, I have a destination to go to.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Essay

The Pandemic in the Life of a Student Angenelle M. Santiago , 10-4

Last December 2019, a kind of virus started to spread around Wuhan, a province of China. Days passed and the infectious disease started to spread all over the world including our country, the Philippines. In February 2020, the first person that was recorded infected in the Philippines was from China and if I am not mistaken, he stayed in Cebu for a vacation.

Several weeks passed before our president, Rodrigo Duterte, declared that Luzon would be going under community quarantine to avoid spreading or being infected with the virus. Health protocols were also issued nationwide in which all people going outside were to wear a face mask and face shield.

March 6, 2020 was my last bonding together with my classmates, adviser, and my friends. We went on our field trip and luckily my friends and I spent that time just having fun with the rides, games, and other interesting things at the museum where we went. Then, not even a week later, it was declared that there would be a lockdown in Luzon for one week. I was so happy about it because it meant that we would not have to go to school and have no schoolwork for that week. It was really a rest day. But it kept on extending and I was not happy anymore. I really missed the feeling of not getting to see any of my friends for months, not getting stressed at school, and last but not least, not being able to visit school.

From the third to fourth month of the quarantine, I suddenly felt that sadness inside me. Being locked inside our house just doing household chores was not fun but thanks to social media, I discovered some things to do! Like watching K-dramas, Netflix movies, and other entertainment.

I also became more addicted to K-pop although I was already a fan of Blackpink before. This time, I discovered many K-pop groups such as Astro (who really caught my attention), Stray Kids, Itzy, NCT, GOT7, and Ateez. K-pop was not the only thing that completed my quarantine days but so did K-dramas such as Itaewon Class, Class of Lies, Extraordinary You, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Abyss, To Be Continued and many more.

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From the seventh week of quarantine until now, the first quarter of class has already started and ended this week (December 12). I have met new classmates, teachers, and even made new friends. Online meetings may be a hassle for us and for the teachers but we are still trying our best. Modules may be tiring for some students but luckily, some of our teachers are able to summarize it for us. Unfortunately, I saw some students on the internet committing suicide due to hardship because of their modules. Yes, modules may give us stress but we deserve a rest for ourselves. Do not be afraid of a failure grade just because you rested a little. Grades are just an indicator of what we did the whole school year but it cannot determine what exactly our abilities are.

We deserve to take a rest for anything. If you feel that today is not your schedule to answer or to do something, just don’t do it. It will be harder for you to understand and focus on something you do not want to do.

Instead, do what you want for that day. If you want to rest, then rest until your mind, your body, and yourself are ready to do your tasks. Instead, give yourself a deadline for everything. Set up your own calendar for schoolwork and place it so that you can see it directly. You can put it in places such as the wall in your room or set it up as your wallpaper in your cellphones, laptops, and any of your gadgets as long as you can see it. To the person who reads this, please take this as advice from a student who has experienced this herself.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Yuletide

New Normal

Season

Edition

Poetry

Jingle Bell Ro(Su)cks Aini Jimielle G. Santiago, 10 SPJ Roces Smiles hidden under, All laughs hushed by a cloth, Lights beaming strangely, Trees glowing differently, Oh Santa, is it just me?

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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Hiling

Ricky Rich S. Alday, 11 HUMSS D Sa darating na pasko, Isa lang ang hiling ko.

Mawala ang pangamba, Mapalitan ng saya.

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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Bells

Romina Vicente, 9 SPJ Soliven Santa rings his bells Gathering us for His birth Even from afar

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

Short Story

The Pale Orange Lantern Jake Arwin G. Tiongson, 8 SPSTE Velasco

The glowing, pale orange lantern lit up the street, as tears fell from her happy eyes.

The quiet hush of the wind greeted Matthew, who was concealing his face under a facemask, upon arriving early in the morning. He and his relatives visited their grandmother, in her house in the sparse town of San Jose, Tarlac, in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a vast network of rice paddies. It was a couple of years ago when we last visited Lola Carmelita, alone in her house, everyday, every night. She had stayed in the house previously with her now-deceased husband, Lolo Narciso, who passed away last year of tuberculosis.

It was Christmas, in the middle of quarantine, that the family decided to visit her.

Lola gladly welcomed the family again, as she always did. They brought her a tall Christmas tree they bought from an online delivery app. There were also pasalubong — cans of corned beef, bottles of soft drinks and numerous bilaos of pansit bihon, pansit malabon and kalamay kanin.

The grandchildren had prepared gifts to give to her that night. Tom and the other siblings made Christmas lanterns on the spot: Tomas’ was red, Michelle’s was blue, Lorenzo’s was green, Rosa’s was pink, and last of all, Matthew’s was a pale orange one.

“Why did you paint such a dull color? You should have painted the paper vibrantly like ours.”

“But it’s my favorite color, and I want pale colors, Lorenzo.”

“I have nothing more to say, Matthew. I advised you, don’t blame me in the end.”

Lorenzo was the middle child, very close to Tom the eldest and very mad towards Matthew the youngest. He envied Matthew for his intellect

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whereas he had poor grades in Math and Science. Matthew never agreed to tutor Lorenzo because he knew that teaching himself was the best way.

But instead of teaching himself, he always grew angry upon seeing his younger brother.

The siblings prepared splendid presents whereas Matthew hardly prepared any.

The family hung the lanterns, in front of the wooden house; and the family exchanged stories. While talking, Father remembered the gifts and instructed his children to give them to Lola one-by-one, starting from Tom. He sat closer to Lola and whispered, “Lola, I bought you a grand array of earrings,” before opening a maroon jewelry box.

Michelle boasted a knitting set she had chosen prudently. Lorenzo showcased an extravagant necklace made, and Rosa gave Lola a nostalgic set of magazines. But for Matthew, he could not think of anything. But on the spot, he realized the true meaning of Christmas as he approached his grandmother, and gently kissed her cheek. His curly hair and square glasses brushed Lola’s grey hair and his shy, mindful eyes looked at his grandparent’s surprised face.

For all the years her relatives had oame to visit, this was the first time she directly felt true love which his siblings had only expressed through material things.

The grandmother cried tears of joy, smiling and embracing his loving young grandson. She was happy that amidst the pandemic and all the bad situations that had passed by, her grandson still knew the true meaning of Christmas: Love.

The glowing, pale orange lantern lit up the street as tears fell from her happy eyes.

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Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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A Crime Before Christmas Jimwell Bautista

December 27, 2020 The television was running and was tuned in at the CNN channel.

“Tonight, terror on the streets, a full force manhunt at the city of Bulacan has been announced for the serial murderer, Garbo Lucio, also dubbed as ‘Steel Shoes’. This has been the third unfortunate family who suffered the terror of the man. The Caparas family, a people of four, including an unlucky 10 year old girl, Carol Caparas, was killed at the night of Christmas. Police said…”

Two days ago, December 24, 2020, 09:00 “Mom! Where are my socks?” Carol asks her mother, “I need to hang lots of them! Santa is almost here! Mom!” she begged. “Please Mommy!”

Mabel finally took her attention away from the food she was cooking, then looked at her teary eyed daughter. “Sweetie, remember what we told you?” she said while giving her daughter the stare of a concerned mother, “Santa doesn’t like greedy people.” Her daughter’s face dropped.

“Besides, you already had three socks ready, right sweetie?”

Carol greeted her mother’s advice with a pout. “Okay, Mommy,” she said as she sneaked a sock into her little pocket.

The doorbell rang.

“Is that Santa? That’s Santa right? That’s got to be him!” Carol said.

“Go on and check, sweetie,” Mabel told her excited daughter.

Carol rushed towards the door without peeking at the window to check who it was. She was convinced it was Santa Claus and opened the door with a huge smile on her face.

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“Ahh!” Mabel heard her daughter shout. “Carol, sweetie? Are you okay?” she asked while walking towards the front door.

The man’s speech was muffled. “Hey, kiddo,” a heavy voice said, “Come give me a hug!”

“Daddy! I thought you weren’t coming?” Carol said in a joyful voice.

“Where is your mother?” The man said as he removed his face mask.

Mabel arrived at the scene and was surprised to see her husband at home.

“Erick, I received your message. You said that the hospital was busy and that you wouldn’t be coming home?” she said as she handed him the hand sanitizer by the window. “What happened?”

“Well, things calmed down and I managed to make time for the family,” he replied happily.

“Great!” Mabel said, “Come, let us eat, you’re probably tired.”

She invited the family to the table and they started to eat together. Carol finished first and headed upstairs to her room. Before she slept, she set an alarm to wake her up just before Christmas and decided to sleep. She was excited to hang the sock she had sneaked into her pocket and possibly meet Santa.

December 24, 2020, 23:25 The alarm rang and the kid sprung up from her bed. She immediately ran to the living room and hung up the extra socks.

The parents, Mabel and Erick, woke up to an alarm they didn’t set. They heard their daughter’s footsteps towards the living room and were aware of what she was up to.

“Erick, come. Let’s check on your daughter,” she said.

“Haha, okay, but let’s be sneaky!” he replied.

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“Erick, quick! Let’s go tease your daughter,” she whispered as she approached the stairs.

Carol was done hanging the socks up, she was about to return to her room upstairs when she saw her parents lying low.

“Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?” She said.

“Haha, little woman, we knew what you were up to!” Erick told her daughter, laughing.

Carol’s ears were cherry red from embarrassment. The family laughed.

Ding-dong.

The doorbell rang.

“Oh! Is that Santa?” the girl assumed.

The parents looked at each other in curiosity. They didn’t know who it was and they weren’t expecting any guests. Erick moved to take the door and Mabel was about to follow him.

“Mom, who is that?” Carol asked.

“I don’t know sweetie, go back to your room okay? It’s getting late,” she told her.

Carol looked at her mother, “Wait that’s probably—” BANG! A gunshot roared inside the house.

“What was that? Erick!” her mother yelled. “Sweetie, Go to your room and lock the door! Now!” Carol was frightened by her mother’s expression and hurriedly dashed to her room and locked the door. She was crying in panic, not knowing

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what to do.

BANG! BANG! Two other shots embraced the house. Next came a moment of silence.

“What happened to Mommy?” she thought while sobbing in her room.

Cluck, cluck, cluck…

The heavy stomping was coming from the lobby outside her door.

Cluck, cluck, stops.

It stopped. It stopped right outside her door. Carol was terrified, she wanted to scream but she knew she couldn’t. She was aware of the gun, she was aware of death. She was aware of the reason why her parents couldn’t be heard anymore. She closed her eyes.

Knock, knock.

The man knocked. But nobody answered.

Bam, bam, bam.

The man started to knock furiously. He started bashing the door until it broke down.

The door opened.

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

Climate

and the

Change

Environment

Poetry

Why Didn’t We Listen?

Julia Laurene S Pagdanganan, 8 Edgardo Gomez The Life givers and the destroyer, Our Mother Earth needs our help, Yet we always ignore her, We are the worst living things out there.

We always receive but never give, Are we that selfish and numb?

“God please, we ask you to forgive,” We regret it all, why are we so dumb?

The air is so toxic, it suffocates me, We ran out of oxygen from cutting all the trees, The sun is so hot, it burns me, It melts all the ice and floods all the countries.

I can see all the garbage that I threw away, We consume but never thought of the consequence, Now we realize our mistakes today, I weep in sorrow remembering my reminiscence.

Now please listen to me, people in the past, I want to warn you of the danger you made yourself, Please fix this don’t make our suffering last, The man’s worst opponent is advancement itself.

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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Planetang Pula Ricky Rich S. Alday, 11 HUMSS D

Nakasuot ng makina para makahinga Nagmumumuni at tulala Sa buwang hindi nagliliwanag ay nakatingala Kay laki talaga ng pinagkaiba Ang mamuhay dito sa planeta Na mas kilala sa planetang pula

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

Short Story The City and the Countryside

Julia Laurene S. Pagdanganan, 8 Edgardo Gomez “Toru, wake up! It’s time for breakfast,” his mother said as she knocked on his door. His eyes flutter open, he sleepily gets out of bed and a yawn escapes his mouth. He opened the door and walked to the table. Cooper, his brother was already there waiting for him. “Hurry up, I can’t wait to see our cousin!” his brother said, stuffing mouthfuls of food. Oh yeah, today is our little cousin’s birthday. He looked at the calendar. It wss July 18th. He made his way to a chair and stuffed his mouth with eggs and anything on the plate. He was excited to see the city. All you could see here was grass, a bunch of trees, small houses, and farms. There was nothing much to look at.

After stuffing their bellies full of food and bathing in fresh cold water, they started packing their bags. They would be gone for a few days to go travel through parts of the city. They ran to the door and threw their bags to the rear end of the car before climbing to the backseats. Their mom and dad took the front then they started driving away. Cooper waved goodbye to their home as Toru watched the window as they drove.

Cooper leaned towards his brother. “So what do you think the city is like?” he asked. Toru did not know but imagined it to be more exciting than back home. “From all the stories I heard, there would be a lot more people and more shops to see than our hometown,” he said.

A few hours passed and they started to see buildings. Cooper smashed his face against the glass window. “Toru, look! That’s so awesome.”

Toru quietly admired it. I was right! This is 100 times better than home!

But when they got inside the city, it was not as splendid as what they thought. Toru looked outside the windows to see paper cups, plastic, and other garbage scattered around the sidewalk. They did not have these kinds of problem back home because there were a few people there.

Cooper noticed there was not much vegetation; he could only see buildings, alleyways, and other small shops. As they went further into

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“What the—” their father said. “Boys, you better scroll down your windows, it might take a while before we get out of this traffic,” he added. The boys did what they were told and rolled down their windows only to smell the horrific air outside. Cooper smelt the air and coughed.

“Why is it so intoxicating?” he said. “Probably with all this traffic and the smoke coming out of these vehicles,” Toru said to his brother while covering his nose. Toru also noticed that even if they rolled down their windows, it was still hot. He sweated profusely but after they got out of the traffic they headed to their cousin’s apartment.

Cooper looked at his brother. “After we celebrate his birthday, I want to head back home.” Toru agreed. He regretted saying it was better than home and felt homesick. The city may be a lot more advanced than our little town but ours is a lot healthier to live in. But for now, they would have to endure all of this before they could go back to their home sweet home.

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

Essay

Climate action in your area Angenelle M. Santiago, 10-4

Can you imagine the effects of climate change within the next 30 years?

If yes, then good for you. But if not, I am here with you to discuss some things that may happen within the next 30 years if we will not act now. First, what is climate change? Climate change is the change in temperature of the world. It can be one that lower and colder than the normal temperature or it can be higher and hotter. We, the people living in the Philippines, experience just two seasons within the year. This includes summer which has the dry season and the rainy season. The Philippines is located near the equator and has a tropical climate which is why we only experience two seasons every year, unlike other countries that experience four seasons such as spring, summer, fall, and winter.

The climate in the Philippines for the past few decades has been a lot hotter than it was in the past. As we can notice, Filipina women used to wear longer dresses. Before, they could survive in the heat just by using a hand fan and they seldom used electric fans. But why are we experiencing the hotness of the climate now? Here is why.

As far as I can remember, people in the past did not use cars that often.

Instead, they used horses for transportation which we call the kalesa.

Cars emit carbon dioxide which is not good for the environment and our bodies. So, the usage of cars also affects climate change. Another factor is the population. The Philippines was not as populated before as it is now. The higher the population, the more pollution is created. This includes air pollution in the form of carbon dioxide, land pollution like the garbage we create, and water pollution such as oil spills caused by ships and dynamite fishing caused by irresponsible fishermen.

Climate change can greatly affect our environment with environmental destruction also affecting climate change. First, environmental destruction affects climate change due to people who cannot take care of the environment themselves. Some commit acts of illegal logging, using kaingin or the slash and burn system, or do things that end up bleaching corals. Illegal logging and coral bleaching can cause two major negative effects, including the extinction of animals. Why? It is simply because

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they are destroying the natural habitats of the animals along with the pollution that will be created. Trees are like the big filter of our pollution.

They take in carbon dioxide and create oxygen for us.

The main contributor to climate change is us, the people. If we do not act now, the planet will get hotter and hotter as time passes by. By my estimated time of 30 years, many animals will be extinct, some countries will sink and the rest of the world may be filled with commercial buildings and roads due to the advance of technology. We may even be forced to resort to artificial oxygen due to a lack of trees. So please, we are the only hope of this planet. If we want to survive, then we must take care of the environment. I may be young for me to say these words but it will be a great help for all of us if we will listen to the voice of the youth.

It is not yet too late to act now! With the simple planting of trees and not contributing more to the pollution by lessening the use of cars, we will be able to make progress.

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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Pagbabago ng Klima, Ating Ikabahala Krystel Kate Endaya, 7 SPJ Locsin

Ang climate change ay pagbabago ng klima sa buong mundo. Ang mas nakakabahala ay walang ginagawa ang mga tao dito na siyang dahilan kung bakit ito nangyayari ngayon. Ilan sa mga human causes ay ang greenhouse, coal mining at higit sa lahat ang deforestation o ang pagputol ng mga puno sa kagubatan.

Sa ngayon ay ramdam na natin ang epekto ng mga iresponsableng gawain ng mga tao. Bawat pagtaas ng temperatura ay may pagbawas ng aanihin ng mga magsasaka. Kaliwa’t kanan din ang mga wildfire sa ibang bansa dahil sa sobrang init ng klima. Pati ang mga hayop ay naapektuhan na rin. Ang isang malaking tanong para sa bawat tao ngayon ay “Paano natin ito haharapin ngayong nasa gitna tayo ng pandemya?”

Bilang solusyon dito, kailangan imulat ng mga tao ang kanilang mga mata para makita nila ang totoong sitwasyon ngayon, Ang pag-aalaga sa ating kalikasan ang pwede nating gawin para isalba ang ating mundo.

Huwag na nating hintayin maging huli ang lahat at magsisi tayo ng tuluyan, Sabi nga ng dating Presindente ng Pransiya na si François Hollande, “We have a single mission: to protect and hand on the planet to the next generation.”

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

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The Great Leap: The Cause of Climate Change John Gabriel Tanghal

Everything changes. It is said that the only permanent thing in the world is change. Our world is constantly changing and nothing is permanent.

Human activity is the main cause of climate change. When people burn fossil fuels, carbon dioxide is released into the atmosphere and causes the greenhouse effect. Since the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, people have burned more fossil fuels than ever and the environment has not had time to adapt.

Before we discuss the causes and effects of climate change, we must know what climate change is. Climate change is a long-term shift in weather patterns defined by shifts in temperature, precipitation, wind, and other measures. Climate change may include both changes in average conditions and changes in variability, including, for example, extreme events. The climate of the planet is inherently variable on all time scales.

However, the long-term state and stability of the temperature are regulated by the balance of incoming and outgoing radiation which defines the energy balance of the planet.

The Industrial Revolution is the first cause of climate change. The Industrial Revolution started in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries in Britain when manual labor began to be replaced by machines powered by modern energy sources. The first indication of this transition was the mechanization of England’s cloth mills, the production of ironmaking methods, and the growing use of coal rather than wood and water for cooking, manufacturing, and transport purposes. The Industrial Revolution forged the technology we now have; however, in the early days of the Industrial Revolution, few would have imagined that burning fossil fuels would have an almost instantaneous impact on the atmosphere.

Apart from this, scientists have long hypothesized the connection between industrialization and global warming. However, a serious analysis of the topic only began in the second half of the twentieth century. In 1896, the Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius was the first to claim that

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the combustion of fossil fuels contributes carbon dioxide to the Earth’s atmosphere and could increase the planet’s surface temperature.

Although there are many causes of climate change, particularly those caused by humans, the most significant and obvious human-related causes of climate change include global warming in the form of a rise in greenhouse gas emissions from sources such as burning fossil fuels, agriculture, and other areas of activity. Currently, tons of greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, hydrofluorocarbons, and more are being released across the globe.

Human activities such as burning coal, gas, and oil in power plants and cars; cutting down and burning forests; tiny pollution particles (aerosols); black carbon pollution more commonly referred to as soot; and changes in land use also affect Earth’s albedo. In 2018, the global average long-term atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide (CO₂) was at approximately 400ppm (parts per million) which is twice as much as the average longterm atmospheric concentration 800,000 years ago. It should be noted that the global emissions of carbon dioxide will continue to rise and in 2050, carbon dioxide emissions will grow by up to 0.6%.

Global climate change has already had measurable environmental impacts.

The glaciers have shrunk, the ice on the rivers and lakes has broken up faster, the plant and animal ranges have changed, and the trees are flowering sooner. Effects that scientists expected in the past would result from global climate change are now occurring: loss of sea ice, increased sea-level rise, and longer, more extreme heatwaves. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change also noted “Taken as a whole, the range of published evidence indicates that the net damage costs of climate change are likely to be significant and to increase over time.” Climate change has many effects on our lives and the environment. These are just a few examples: 1. Change will continue through this century. Global climate is projected to continue to change over this century and beyond. The magnitude of climate change beyond the next few decades depends primarily on the number of heat-trapping gases emitted globally, and how sensitive the Earth’s climate is to those emissions.

2. Temperatures will continue to rise. We can view the fact that human-

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induced warming is superimposed on a naturally varying atmosphere and climate, temperature increases have not been, and will not be, constant or smooth across the world.

3. Sea Level will rise by 1-8 feet by 2021. Global sea level has risen by around 8 inches since the start of 1880. An additional 1 to 8 feet increase by 2100.

This is the product of the addition of water from the melting of land ice and the expansion of seawater as it warms. Over the next few decades, storm surges and high tides could combine rising sea levels and land subsidence to further increase floods in many regions.

Many different occupations and individuals are helping to stop and restrict climate change. Environmental engineers, environmental scientists, and experts in public relations are some of the individuals who are working to mitigate climate change. Environmental engineers are working to find ways to protect or repair and correct environmental damages. The key goal of environmental scientists is to develop and develop ways to avoid or mitigate pollution and improve the health of the planet and its inhabitants.

Nations all around the world are now acting to stop climate change. They have formed many agreements and passed laws to strengthen the global response to the threat of climate change and global warming. One of the solutions they thought of is “The Paris Agreement.” The Paris Agreement builds on the Convention and brings all nations together for the first time to pursue ambitious measures to tackle and respond to climate change, including additional funding to enable countries to do so. As such, it sets out a new path in the worldwide climate effort.

Everything changes. It is said that the only permanent thing in the world is change. Our world is constantly changing and nothing is permanent anymore. When we first use fossil fuels, coal, and gases in the time of the Industrial Revolution, we did not know what the consequences of what we were doing would be. Despite finding out the effects of burning fossil fuels, we did not take action and just continued to satisfy our greed. We know that we are causing our biggest problem and a lot of people are working to fix it but there are still others who do not believe the evidence and want to undo the progress we have made in trying to fix it. The great leap of our technology brought us many good benefits but we did not think about the environment. Now, we are paying the price for it.

Kailan

Stories of Hope AND

Kaya?

Wishful Thinking

Poetry

Daddy, Daddy!

Aini Jimielle G. Santiago, 10 SPJ Roces Kailan kaya?

Salita’y masagawa?

Masa’y umasa, Ngunit naging parusa.

Tatay, ano na po ba?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Tamis ng Alaala Ma. Andreah C. David, 10 SPJ Ople

Ang sarap balikan ng nakaraan, Natatanging kuwento sa apat na sulok ng silid-aralan.

Mga kantahan, sayawan, at kulitan, Kailan kaya ulit mararanasan?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Wasted Youth Justine Mhae Paguia, 10 SPJ Ople Looking back at my reflection Wishing I was pure as the water Wandering with no direction I am now a lost and shattered soul Sitting in an empty corner Caged in a world full of thoughts Deaf and blind surrounding me An epitome of a wasted youth Missing the embrace of home Thinking that someone will come That someone will see my worth Hoping to see the light and forget all the pain When was the right time for the society to accept broken minds and hearts?

When will they understand t hat the past is different from the present?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Buhay ng Iba Pamela Robles, 12 ABM A

Sa isang barong-barong, pamilya’y masayang nagsalu-salo Masaya at nakangiti habang kumakain ang mga ito Biglang tinakpan ni ina, natitirang pagkain sa plato Nagsalita ang bunso, Inay, gutom pa po ako Anak pasensya ka na, sagot ng ina Ititira natin itong kalahati, para sa hapunan mamaya Sikmura ay kumakalam, si bunso ay naluha Nais ko lang makakain ng sapat. Kailan kaya?

Sa kabilang kalye naman ay puting bahay na bato Nakatira ang dalagang anak ng milyonaryo Mag isang kumakain sa mesang gawa sa ginto Kay raming nakahain, ngunit siya lang ang nakaupo Ama’y nasa Amerika, abala sa trabaho ang ina Sagana ngunit mga magulang ay malayo sa kan’ya Ibinigay nga ang luho, ngunit presensya nila ay wala Ama, ina, nais ko kayong makasama. Kailan kaya?

Mabuti pa ang pamilyang iyon, sama sama.

Wika ng dalaga Mabuti pa ang babaeng iyon, araw araw syang sagana Wika ng pobreng bata Kailan ko kaya, mararanasan ang buhay sa kabila?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Unexpected

Archie Villangca Fajardo, TLE Department Shivering in the cold winter breeze, I even made a prodigious effort, And rolled myself upside down, I’m just a hack lover, Who was somewhat clever with words, Yet my emotions trigger me to uplift myself, I am just but a fool in this land of exile, Why can and why can’t I, Then you came along far from behind, Life is more than complete, For you are the unexpected one.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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If Writing Was Jerymae C. Diaz, 12 STEM C

If writing was the sun Then I am a vampire Recoiling at the slightest thought Of holding a pen in my hand If writing was a witch trial Then I am a witch Afraid of the condemnation I face And the verdict the judge brings If writing was music Then I am tone-deaf A stranger to melody Forming nothing but a cacophony of words If writing was a religion Then I am a believer Who has lost faith And is now filled with doubt But writing is writing And I am who I am A person who just wants to be Confident in writing once again

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Ngunit ang tanong...

Ramoela Joyce Leonardo, 10 SPJ Ople

Mga ngiting dati’y napagmamasdan, Mga kasiyahang dati’y ipinagdiriwang, Mga lakad na hindi naisakatuparan, Naging sagabal sa mga kaibiga’t mahal sa buhay.

Taong akala’y dala ang kasaganahan, Nagdulot ng pangamba sa karamihan, Mga matang basa mo ay kasiyahan, Napalitan ng takot at kaguluhan.

Paano nga ba natin ito malalabanan, Nang ang pagkakulong sa mga tahanan ay mawakasan, Ngunit ang tanong, ito ba ay may katapusan?

Kailan kaya? Kailan kaya?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Spontaneous

Lexie Red Q. Bernardo, 11 STEM J I want our own selves back, How we enjoy each other’s arms.

On the small things, where our young hearts collide.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Ninong, Ninang, Pamilya at Sinisinta Joshua Martinez, 11 ABM B

Paskong kay saya, Paskong kay ligaya, Panahong malamig ngunit may ngiti.

Sa pagsapit ng Disyembre, Tila ang panahon ay nagbabago.

At ito ay nagiging malamig na parang yelo, Na dulot sa atin ay pangnginginig.

At tulad ng iyong relasyon na unti-unti na ring nanlalamig, Mukang madami na naman ang magdaraos ng paskong malamig.

Nararamdaman ninyo ba?

Kasi ako ramdam na ramdam ko na, Ang muling pagkaisa.

At tuwing magpapasko ay ‘di ako mapakali, Kasi ang nasa isip ko ay ikaw lang parati.

Umaasang makita kang muli, Nagbabakasakali na babalik ka pang muli.

Akin pa bang mararanasan, Ligayang mahirap makamtan?

Mga sandaling wala nang mahihiling, kundi ikaw ay makapiling.

Ngunit, nasaan ka na nga ba?

Kamusta ka na kaya?

Dapat pa ba akong magpatuloy sa paghihintay?

Tama na, Kasi wala nang darating.

Aasa pa ba ako, o tama na kasi di ka na babalik?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

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Pero sa paskong ito, Alam kong ang pagdating mo ay malabo.

Na malinaw pa sa kristal na ang ikaw at ako, ay hindi na muling magtatagpo.

Paskong kay saya, Paskong kaya ligaya, Panahong malamig ngunit may ngiti.

Kailan ka mauulit muli?

Ang paglipas ng panahon at oras ay parang karera sa bilis, Na nagbigay ng maraming pagbabago mula nang ikaw ay umalis.

Hindi ko masundan, Ako’y napag-iiwanan, Tila ang diwa ng pasko ay nalilimutan.

Ang pakikipagkapwa ay hindi na napagtutuunan.

Disyembreng malamig, tila lahat ay nanlalamig.

Paskong kay saya, Paskong kay ligaya, Panahong malamig ngunit may ngiti.

Ang tanong ko…

Kailan ka babalik?

Kailan, Ang diwa mo ay muling tatagos sa puso ng mga tao, Kailan, Na ang puso ko at puso niya ay muling magtatagpo, Hanggang kailan mo kami balak paghintayin?

Hanggang kailan mo ko balak paghintayin?

Paskong kay saya, Paskong kay ligaya, Panahong malamig ngunit may ngiti.

Hanggang sa huli ako ay umaasa at patuloy na aasa.

Kaya ang tanong ko, Kailan ka babalik? Kailan ka, mauulit muli?

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Hanggang Kailan Ako Mananatili sa Tanong na...

Luisa G. Cabuñag, 10 SPJ Roces KAILAN KAYA? Sa gitna ng pandemya, ito ang tumatak sa isip ko na kataga.

Pagpikit, pagmulat, susundan ng tanong na BAKIT KAYA? Naisin mang lagpasan at pagtagumpayan, PAANO KAYA? Sari-saring balitang nagsasabing solusiyo’y natagpuan na, NASAAN NA KAYA? Ungkatin man ang pinagmulan, mauuwi lamang sa tanong na SINO KAYA? Nawala ang aking mga nakasanayan.

Na dati’y nagigising ako sa mga taong sing-ingay ng mga sasakyang bumubusina, Wala pang sikat ng araw ay kay rami na nila sa kalsada.

Ngunit mali.

Mali na ang mga tanong ko ay paulit-ulit Mali na sa bawat tanong ko’y nalimutan ko siya, Sa bawat pagpikit at paglapit sakaniya’y hahawakan tayo ng mahigpit.

Heto na, sabi ko na!

Sinamahan niya akong matagpuan ang pag asang aking naiwala, Ibinalik niya ako sa ngiti at sinabing manatili sa tanong na KAILAN KAYA? Pagmulat ko’y puno ng pag asang kitang kita sa aking mga mata, Kasabay ng mga labi kong nakuhang ngumiti at natuto muling sumaya, Siguro nga’t hindi pa ngayon, Siguro nga’t mahina tayo sa ibang mga pagkakataon, Siguro nga’t hindi ganito noon, Kaya’t heto ka sa dilim, nalulugmok, umiiyak at nahihirapan parin Nakalimutan mo na ba na walang mas makapangyarihan sa panalangin?

Mawala na’t lahat wag lamang ang kahit katiting na pag asa, Imulat ang mata upang masilayan ang napakagandang liwanag na handog niya.

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Magtiwala.

Magtiwala, At magtiwala.

Buksan mo ang iyong tainga, makinig ka’t nandito ako na nagsasabing magtiwala ka dahil nariyan siya.

Kasabay ng paghampas ng malakas at masarap na hangin, isabay nating damhin ang pagmamahal niya sa atin.

Ngayo’y iniiwasan ko ang mga tanong na bakit, paano, nasaan, at sino kaya, Ngunit hindi ako mapapagod sa tanong na KAILAN KAYA...

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

117 | The republic folio

Bakit Ba Naging Ganito?

Jake Arwin G. Tiongson, 8 SPSTE Velasco Nakatingin sa madilim na langit, Iniisip ang kinabukasan, winawari, Bakit ba naging ganito ang mundo? Bakit?

“Manatili sa loob ng bahay kung maaari”, Kailan kaya puwedeng hindi ito sundin?

Iniisip ang kinabukasan, winawari.

Bakit hanggang ngayon, ganoon pa rin?

Madami pa ring kaso, mahigpit na mga patakaran.

Kailan kaya puwedeng hindi ito sundin?

Sapilitang pagsuot ng facemask, asahan, May mga tao pa ring nagpapalusot.

Madami pa ring kaso, mahigpit na mga patakaran.

Ninanais matapos ang pandemiyang bumabalot?

Ba’t para lang sa pulis, makatakas, May mga tao pa ring nagpapalusot.

Ang Diyos lamang ang makakapagligtas, Nakatingin sa madilim na langit.

Ba’t para lang sa pulis, makatakas, Bakit ba naging ganito ang mundo, bakit?

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Short Story

12 Things I Hope For You Sandy Gee C. Santiago, 10 SPJ Ople

I hope you don’t tie every word you heard to what they’re saying about you. I’m afraid that one day, you won’t be able to lift yourself anymore.

I hope you let go of all the heavy things and let the air heal its wounds.

It isn’t gonna be a rock falling into the ground. It’s a balloon rising from the child’s hand.

I hope someday your phone rings from someone you long for the most.

I hope your favorite food will always be your favorite.

I hope one day you can meet someone who understands and knows every bit of you, the little things about yourself that do really matter.

I hope you see how much your parents are overwhelmingly proud of you as you walk on the stage to get your diploma.

I hope you fight — and never get tired fighting for this country and its people.

I hope when you embrace the new unfamiliar land with uncertainties again, you leave behind all those things that made you cry.

I hope you bring only the things and the people that matter, make you happy and are worth it.

I hope you keep those memories that make you alive and dance in joy.

For tomorrow, those vacant spaces will be filled again because that is just how nature runs its course.

I hope you live strong today with passion.

And I hope you move forward.

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

119 | The republic folio

Piitan ng mga Namamanata

Ma. Andreah C. David, 10 SPJ Ople “Anak, tahan na.”

Iyan ang mga katagang palaging binabanggit ni tatay sa tuwing ako’y mahuhulog sa aking sinasakyang bisikleta. Sa kung paanong lalapit kaagad siya sa akin at titignan ang dumudugo kong tuhod, gayundin ang galos sa aking mga palad.

“Anak, heto ang manok at pancit, kumain ka muna.”

Matapos ang nakakapagod na araw ay ipaghahanda ako ni tatay ng mga masasarap na pagkain. Yayain niya akong umupo sa aming munting hapag-kainan at sabay naming pagsasaluhan ang kaniyang biniling manok at pancit kala Aling Amor.

“Anak, ibinili kita ng barbie, diba eto yung matagal mo ng hinihiling kay tatay?”

Sa pagkakataong iyon ay hindi ko siya sinagot — ­ rinig ang katahimikan sa buong paligid. At tuluyan nang umagos ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigil.

Mapagpanggap si tatay, titignan niya lang ang mga sugat na natamo ko sa bisikleta ngunit hindi niya gagamutin, lalo lang niya itong palalalain­ — mas masakit at nakakasuka ang mga marka na iniwan niya sa aking pagkatao kaysa sa mga galos sa tuwing ako’y nadarapa.

Nung araw na bumili siya ng manok at pancit, sa gilid ng kaniyang plato ay may kutsilyo na anumang sandali ay itututok niya sa aking tagiliran. Kapag hindi ako pumayag, ididiin niya ito, ilulubog hanggang sa tumango ako.

At mula sa malayo, nakita ko si Aling Amor. Nakatingin, pero walang kibo. Ayaw magsalita, ayaw makialam.

Kailan kaya? | 120

“Tumigil ka na sa pag-iyak.” Aniya ni tatay.

“Alas-otso.”

Illustration by Shaina Ashley Faustino

Editorial Staff Literary Editor Edan Shadrach Aguillon

Layout Artists Ma. Andreah David Miranda Autor Ramoela Joyce Leonardo

Graphic Artists Alliah Crisanto Shaina Ashley Faustino Ylai Lomotan Micaiah Rui Amurao Marc Laurenz Agojo Akisha Quiele Elamparo Ethel Joyce Roxas

Copyreader

Carl Lawrence Carpio

Adviser

Ma. Isabel Cruz

Illustration by Alliah Crisanto

About the Title We live in unprecedented times as the world battles a global pandemic and we are stuck in the confines of our homes. In the span of only a few months, our lives changed forever, leaving us scrambling to adapt to the aftermath.

To capture the zeitgeist of this moment while we are still living it, this folio is entitled “Kailan Kaya?” with the subtitle “Stories of Hope and Wishful Thinking.” It envokes a sense of longing for the reader who has been left wondering about the same question since the start of the pandemic. When will this nightmare end? When will we be able to meet our loved ones again? When will we finally be able to return to normal?

With no certainty that we are anywhere near the finish line, we can do nothing but hope and wish for change to come. As we remember a past that now seems distant to us, we also look forward to a future where the problems we face today have been resolved. Until that day arrives, we will continue to ask “Kailan Kaya?” in the hope that the answer will finally be “Ngayon.”

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+ nothing stays the same forever, but life will go on