The Sentinel Amsterdam vol. 4 #9 by Consultancy Market Media

vol. 4 #9 – 3 May 2011

The Sentinel Amsterdam

Integrity, heart, humour

FEATURE

betty for two travel

THAILAND The land of smiles LIFESTYLES PERSPECTIVES OPINION TECHNOLOGY TRENDS FILM CARTOON SPORT CLASSIFIEDS

CONTENTS

In this issue FEATURE p. 03 PERSPECTIVES

P. 08 travel

Betty for two

East-Eco-West

Tripping days

‘Promises, what are they but an attempt to make difficult moments a bit better?’

‘Amsterdam deserves to be top of the list of most astonishing urban creations in today’s world’

15° N 100° E

P. 12

sports p. 26 sport p. 30 more:

The ‘Y’ word

The Gold Room

LIFESTYLES p. 16 From dusk till dawn technology p. 18 TechBit: Sio-Bytes

‘The Yiddish ‘language’ has Germanic, Polish and Hebrew roots’

STUD MARKS p. 23 FILM REVIEW Room 2C CARTOON

p. 24

TRENDS Body Talks III

p. 25

p. 24

CLASSIFIEDS ColoPHon The Sentinel Amsterdam e-mail: sentinelpost@gmail.com website: www.thesentinel.eu The Sentinel Amsterdam does not intentionally include unaccredited photos/illustrations that are subject to copyright. If you consider your copyright to have been infringed, please contact us at sentinelpost@gmail.com.

Editors – Gary Rudland & Denson Pierre Design, realisation and form – Andrei Barburas & No-Office.nl Webmaster – www.sio-bytes.tumblr.com Webhost – Amsterjammin.com

Contributors – Marta Parlatore, Sharmin de Vries, Alina Croitoru, Bianka Bosch, Simon Owusu, Maureen Kamp, David King, Colin Bentley, Dirkje Bakker & Simon Joseph

FEATURE

betty for two

By Marta Parlatore

No matter how slowly months can stream or how long weeks may seem, it always comes to thisâ&#x20AC;Ś

FEATURE

The last day. And Betty should be proud to say she’s a specialist in these kinds of moments, she has lived through so many of them. Not that it makes it any easier, but at least she could go through the procedure with her eyes closed, by now.

just arrived. She recalls what she felt then, the amazing rush of possibilities, of all the things that could happen in this new adventure. Betty takes a deeper breath and walks into the living-room. The adventure has reached its completion and it is time to sum it up.

She drops on to the couch and pulls out the goodbye joint she bought in her favourite ‘coffee shop’ for the occasion, lights it and takes a closer look at the room. Objects. Now Betty comes home from a beautiful summer afternoon it’s time to sort them out. Books, clothes, postcards, smokspent on plaid blankets on the Vondelpark grass, with ing paraphernalia, memories; she can try to fit all these food and drinks and all the friends who live here. Their things into her suitcase. The folded chair, the flower vase, children, their smiles and the promises that they would meet again soon, somewhere. ‘Promises, what are they but the cups and the half-used flacons of shampoo she will an attempt to make difficult moments a bit better?’ Betty have to leave behind. They belong here, Betty does not. thinks while riding her bike home. She never keeps her The ganja starts tickling her lungs while she stares at the promises, especially not the ones she makes to herself. poster of Jules and Vincent and their guns hanging on the wall. She gives them a nostalgic smile, she really thought She opens the door to her apartment, knowing that this will be the last time. She takes a moment to recall the first this time it would happen. You see, for years Betty has time she opened that door, five months ago, when she had been having this fantasy, of going to bed with two guys. And when she arrived in Amsterdam, she thought if it

‘She recalls what she felt then, the amazing rush of possibilities, of all the things that could happen in this new adventure’

FEATURE

doesn’t happen here, in the world capital of erotic freedom, then she’d have little chance of ever experiencing it anywhere else. Yeah, dream on Betty. It’s always so bewildering to her, the comparison between how she imagines things will be and the reality of how things turn out. Betty the Nomad. Betty who lives everywhere, but has no place to call home. Ever since she can remember, she has had to co-exist with this peculiar feeling of being split in half. Her parents come from two different countries and cultures; she was raised speaking two languages; she even has two passports. But all this is nothing compared to the much deeper split she has in her soul: the one between reality and imagination. One foot here, the other there. She has lived with them for so long, sometimes she can’t tell the difference. But then again, why bother? Who says that being real is better than living in a world of your own?

desire her so much they’d be happy to settle for only half of her. Deeper, what probably excites her the most is the idea of surrendering to the feeling of being torn apart in pleasure by two separate forces; exasperating that same split which is the main source of sadness in her life; pushing it so much that it would become pleasure. Funny, Betty thinks, but isn’t it so? We fantasise about the things that hurt us. We say we want to escape what makes us suffer, but we end up wanting to dive into it much more deeply and strongly than we would ever like to admit. And the constant craving to actually experience this in reality becomes more of an exorcism, to liberate ourselves from our deepest fears, than a way to have fun.

Betty puts out the joint trying to ignore the subtle feeling of failure that is now creeping under her skin. She starts picking up her things, shrugging off these thoughts. Next Several things about this fantasy fascinate her. First, the obvious equation that, when it comes to senses, four hands time, she promises herself. are better than two and two… mouths are undoubtedly better than one. But also the idea that two men would

‘Betty the Nomad. Betty who lives everywhere, but has no place to call home. Ever since she can remember, she has had to co-exist with this peculiar feeling of being split in half’

lIFESTYlES

‘I’m not saying there isn’t a single establishment open before 9.00am, but compared to other world-class cities the capital is nothing short of a ghost town’ By Sharmin de Vries

From dusk till dawn ‘To liven the place up before 9.00am and cater to people who may want to eat out before they go to work or get their grocery shopping done’

lIFESTYlES

Amsterdam before 9.00am: a ghost town? In the wee hours of the morning – okay, maybe not the wee hours, but early enough for me (7.30am) – I ventured out and strolled along the Constantijn Huygensstraat and Overtoom, in Amsterdam West, in search of… Life. When I say life, I do not mean the endless rows of cyclists and cars travelling through the city like streams of light. I mean cafés open for breakfast, spoons clinking against cups of coffee, aromas wafting from bakeries, supermarkets open for business. I’m not saying there isn’t a single establishment open before 9.00am, but compared to other world-class cities (I’d like to think Amsterdam falls in that category), the capital is nothing short of a ghost town. Considering Amsterdam currently holds 35th place on the list of the world’s most expensive cities, I think we deserve a few more options. I’d like to feel that I live in a vibrant, cosmopolitan city, where life starts where it ends. Where the end is the beginning is the end, that sort of thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love peace and quiet – especially in a bigger city, tranquillity can be a warm blanket on a cold winter’s day – but too much of it and I suffocate. In my search for establishments that are open from 7.00am onwards on Constantijn Huygensstraat/Overtoom (which put together are pretty long), I came across a solitary coffee bar and a butcher’s shop. I remember an outing in Berlin which, after a party fuelled night, was topped off with a visit to a nearby bakery at 6.00am, where we stuffed our faces with richly layered German ‘kuchen’. More establishments were opening up as we squinted against the broad daylight after several hours in a dark venue. In London, it is unthinkable to commute to work or wherever it is you’re going before 9.00am and not have a café or coffee bar at your fingertips to get a quick caffeine fi x, or a (super) market to buy some groceries on the way. In Amsterdam, even the Albert Cuyp market doesn’t open before 9.00am. Compare that to Asian wet markets, where everything starts bustling at about 7.30am, if not earlier, and you wonder why, in Amsterdam, market vendors are in the 9-5 business; the exact same

time that a lot of people are at the office and thus not able to buy fresh fish. The Netherlands is known for its ‘at home consumer culture’. Buying products from the supermarket to consume at home, especially coffee, has always been the norm. This is why, for the longest time, the introduction of (international) coffee chains was met with scepticism. However, with an increasingly cosmopolitan population, not to mention the influx of expats who have often lived in other cities, there’s a whole window of opportunity to liven the place up before 9.00am and cater to people who may want to eat out before they go to work or get their grocery shopping done. Not to mention those who want some action before the day kicks off or an extension of the night before. So here’s my advice to the Amsterdam council (and I’m really only reinforcing a currently raging political debate): free up those damned opening hours. If people roll out of the pub shitfaced at the crack of dawn, they should be able to crawl to a nearby coffee-serving address. If people want to satisfy their junk-food cravings beyond 3.00 or 4.00am, they should be allowed to, and if bankers working at the Zuid-As want to buy some fresh fish for dinner without making their three-piece suits smell like the insides of a pole cat, then...

PERSPECTIvES

‘Although Western countries are often offered as an example of perfect civic sense to less developed countries, even the Dutch can get it wrong on occasions’

East-Ec

By Alina

As far as I’m concerned, Amsterdam deserves to be top of the list of most astonishing urban creations in today’s world. This is down to the architecture that perfectly preserves the air of a medieval capital, while still maintaining all the necessary comforts and luxuries of a truly cosmopolitan 21st-century city. As a tourist, the thought has occurred to me of what it would be like to live here, practically moving into a historical world without travelling back in time. And to top things off, everything is so clean, calm and inviting! Whether you find yourself walking the narrow and winding little streets or cycling up and down the wide parks, cloaked in flowers of all colours, the constant sensation that everything has to be perfect in such a city permeates all things. Still, sometimes trouble can bubble up to the surface of even such a paradise. Although Western countries are often offered as an example of perfect civic sense to less developed countries, even the Dutch can get it wrong on occasions. Turns out they’re human after all. As it happens, Vondelpark – the biggest central park in Amsterdam, where there’s room and you’re allowed to do pretty much anything you like – recently became the cause of amazement for any passer-by that happened to

stroll through it on a warm weekend afternoon. With the municipality’s recent budget cuts, it’s rumoured that this particular look might have been kept even during the official opening. A terrible picture, anyway: crumpled beer cans, buried among the grass, half-empty bags of chips left baking in the sun, abandoned barbecue grills, piles of plastic knives and forks carpeting the ground beneath benches, and even puffy pillows leaning surreally against trees. By Monday afternoon, everyone in the park was carefully slaloming through the trash, exchanging a few words on some bench flanked by piles of garbage or trying to get their dogs to stop sniffing at the sea of rubbish left behind.

‘How would Amster pile of ga

PERSPECTIvES

‘To the rhythm of manele music, the ladies – pleased that doing the cooking did not, for once, rest solely on their shoulders, as per tradition – pack up the blankets and make sure not to leave behind any items borrowed from the household kitchen’

co-West

a Croitoru

This is not a new thing (see, for instance, the way the city looks after Queen’s Day) and it’s not yet a habitual thing but, with a little persistence, it might become so. How would Amsterdam look under a pile of garbage? Countries like Romania can help to paint a picture of nature and trash quietly coexisting. Because there, this habit of marking the territory with all sorts of garbage has long existed and still continues today. It goes hand in hand with another very dear tradition of the common Romanian: the open-air barbecue. Even though we’re not a particularly gluttonous nation, we do like to make almost every meal a feast. Since we can’t always afford private parties in castles or on luxurious yachts, many people choose to spend

rdam look under a arbage?’

their Sunday afternoons out on a picnic. Friends, family, neighbours, kids and workmates all gather somewhere on the edge of the city, in the green outdoors. Blinged up automobiles blasting of all sorts of tunes in bad taste, white tank-tops tightly hugging beer-bellies, alcohol served in industrial quantities and barbecues adorned and smoking with sizzling steaks and sausages all form part of the mandatory way of carrying yourself at such events. A ‘strict necessities’ kitchen is quickly improvised on the spot, the beer flows, people crack jokes and laugh loudly, and the music volume is turned all the way up. The food is served and filled bellies are then parked in the sun for some tanning. If fortune has it that a body of water is nearby, the braver revellers try to fish in filthy, wretched lake or pond water; casting in between the Brownian movement of rubbish floating on the surface, trying to catch some poor little sardine that survived the heavy toxic spilling of residual filth, household rubbish and anything else the common Romanian finds unsuitable for keeping indoors. Everybody’s lounging around lazily, avoiding the thought that a new week of work at some unpleasant job is about to begin. Before the sun starts setting, the party breaks up and dissipates. To the rhythm of manele music, the ladies – pleased that

PERSPECTIvES

‘If the director of ‘American Beauty’ was Romanian, a frail bag floating gently through the air wouldn’t have inspired such aesthetic exhilaration’ doing the cooking did not, for once, rest solely on their shoulders, as per tradition – pack up the blankets and make sure not to leave behind any items borrowed from the household kitchen. Obviously, non-bio-degradable bags, beer trays and empty plastic bottles are not considered part of this inventory and are left lying around as a symbolic marker of their passing through. It is quite a post-modern picture, with the chaotic spread of trash gaining an almost artistic value and rendering it deeply saddening. If the director of ‘American Beauty’ was Romanian, a frail bag floating gently through the air wouldn’t have inspired such aesthetic exhilaration, because you see them everywhere you go in Romania. In the cities, they’re gathered by the municipality’s workers every now and then, but head out into a field and you’ll find them dancing freely, sketching an interesting choreography that most people are already used to and can’t really see the beauty in anymore. Luckily, the government there has just decided to impose a new law for the protection of green spaces and is now organising special areas for weekend barbecues. Anyone who breaks the law and starts barbecuing wherever they like can be fined up to five times the minimum wage. Maybe this way the Romanians’ appetite for stopping the car anywhere and setting up ‘camp’ with a total disregard

for nature will finally cease, but whether it will work or not remains to be seen. What is certain is that, in Romania, interdictions work better than relying on civilised behaviour and, oddly enough, they often pave the way for democracy. Because democracy needs to be learned and not seeing it as the freedom to do anything you like takes time and requires laws backed up by penalties. At least we have the excuse that the democratic epoch is still in its early stages, as far as Romania is concerned. And, in addition, there is the satisfaction of returning from a vacation in the West and being able to say: “It was really nice, but our parks are cleaner and you don’t have to slalom through garbage when you’re taking the kid for a walk”. This is not because of a perfect ecoeducation, but due to the fact that in most Romanian city parks, even stepping on the grass is forbidden.

PERSPECTIvES

travel

The Land of Smiles By Bianka Bosch

Do you ever dream of a country that promises beautiful sunshine all year round? Does it have endless, white, powdery sand beaches? Does this land of your dreams have beautiful mountain ranges? And is it perhaps somewhere you can find fantastic food that is actually pretty healthy and fresh?

travel

Thailand is one destination that can actually deliver on all these promises. Perhaps not on all promises all of the time but it’s close enough.

is both sweet and spicy is fresh papaya salad, which intricately balances the sweetness of fresh ripe papaya with sugar, chilli and a mix of different sauces. The dish can be requested in non-spicy form and is best eaten with ‘sticky’ rice and grilled chicken. Not to be missed!

Let’s start with the beaches, as these are truly amazing. Thailand has been blessed with astonishing coastlines that can cater for the needs of almost any traveller, budget range and desired level of adventure. Island after island offers luxury villas and resorts that provide the perfect getaway for pure relaxation, but also places like Railay Beach in Krabi, which is known worldwide as a Mecca for avid rock climbers.

It would be misleading to write about Thailand without mentioning any of the ‘ugly’ traits for which the country is also, unfortunately, well known. Sex tourism is one such aspect that is difficult to overlook. Many areas, such as Pattaya, parts of Phuket and Bangkok, have districts full of bars teeming with older men (many Western) being entertained by much, much younger women. That this side of Thailand exists is lamentable but it’s one that you can avoid, so there’s no need to focus on it any further. There is too much beauty in the country to explore.

There are also many much smaller islands around the country, which are slightly more difficult to get to (but also quite an adventure) but can offer far greater privacy and a more rural ‘backpacker’ style of travelling. Places where all there is to do is kick-back, read a good book, work on your tan and, at night, sit in front of an open fire and meet new people. Food is a very important part of travel for many people and Thailand does not disappoint on this score. Indeed, it excels! The food is far and away different to that served in many of the ‘Thai’ restaurants in the Netherlands and around the world. Authentic Thai food is an infusion of flavours – a true balance of bitter, sweet, hot and salty. Dishes are prepared fresh, particularly the seafood in coastal areas where the fish are caught that very morning. Here, you can eat a raw shrimp dish, for instance, without fear of a lengthy sickness, although it pays to apply some caution and discretion with this particular treat. Not only is there a great variety of seafood but also fantastic meat dishes. Chicken, beef and pork are extremely popular and cooked in several different ways; freshly grilled, in a curry, or cooked in sauces, like ginger, Thai basil or oyster sauce. Thai food does have a reputation for being hot and it’s well deserved. Indeed, the food can be quite sharp and spicy if you are not accustomed to using chillies. One dish that

Of course, somewhere that is as popular with tourists as Thailand cannot avoid some of the industry’s negative effects, such as overbuilding, the loss of natural environments and traditional farming, and fishing communities coming under unrelenting stress. Phuket, for example, is currently one new building site after another and it is impossible to ignore the endless advertisements for new luxury villas and hotels. You would be shocked at just how much it has changed over the past decade, and how quickly. Previously quiet roads are now extremely busy; filled with buses, cars and people carriers. Competition for the tourist euro is intense and you can be surrounded by cutthroat price offers. While much has changed over the years, my Thailand remains one of the true beauties of the Far East. The limestone cliffs scattered around Krabi alone are natural wonders that make you feel as if you have stepped into a scene from ‘Jurassic Park’. The jungles are wild and lush, and the amount of wildlife you see just going about your daily business is fascinating. Thailand is a country that overflows with natural beauty and charm, and with inhabitants who will go out of their way to make you feel at home. It really is the land of smiles. If you’re in search of a truly unique experience, however, be prepared to go just a little bit off the beaten track.

travel

‘The food is far and away different to that served in many of the ‘Thai’ restaurants in the Netherlands and around the world. Authentic Thai food is an infusion of flavours – a true balance of bitter, sweet, hot and salty’

travel

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TECHNOlOGY

‘This is where Doodle comes in and also my bid to commit to common English slang the phrase ‘Doodle me!’

technology

‘When you come across an article you want to read later, you click on the Read Later button and this saves the article with all the text and images (minus adverts) to Instapaper’

TechBit: Sio-Bytes

Paper-free sharing By Simon Owusu

Computers and the internet have made our lives easier by freeing us from time-consuming tasks and allowing us to spend our precious time doing what we are passionate about. This holds true in most cases, unless you have a Microsoft Windows Vista machine. Try to do anything in Windows Vista and you will spend an eternity performing the simplest of tasks. Thank God for Windows 7 (that’s my ‘compliment someone or something you wouldn’t normally’ task completed). In this edition, my wisdom expands on something obviously related to my prologue: using computer devices and the internet to manage your time in organising events. Have you ever tried to meet up with a group of friends for a meal or a movie, but found it hard to pick the right time and date to suit the group? Even worse, were you the unlucky one who was given the task of organising this event? Traditionally, this would have involved you calling around to juggle everyone’s availability, until you eventually give up entirely because of the time and effort being spent. This is where Doodle comes in and also my bid to commit to common English slang the phrase ‘Doodle me!’. Doodle (http://www.doodle.com) is a free, consensus-based scheduling website that solves the problem of getting people together for an occasion. As an organiser, you pick a selection of dates and times and then Doodle sends a poll to all your friends for that event. They select as many of the dates and times they can commit to and Doodle gathers the results, allowing you to select the most preferred option for the group, based on the votes. You are notified when everyone has made their choices, so you only have to check when the poll is complete. It is a simple three-step process that saves everyone a lot of time and hassle: create the poll, send the options, check the consensus. You can place a time limit on how long the choices are available and also schedule reminders to make sure a selection is

made. The events are time-zone enabled, so no worries about cross-border organisation. There is no limit in Doodle; it can cater for as many people as you want. You can organise really large social events, if you are that popular, or arrange company events where you want the maximum attendance possible, based on everyone’s schedule. Doodle can also integrate with widely used Calendar-based software packages and websites, such as Microsoft Exchange and Google Calendar. There are even mobile versions of Doodle, able to work on various smart-phones. Next time I am really busy and you need 30 minutes of my time, you can just ‘Doodle me’ (see what I did there?) with your free time and I can select a suitable time from your preferred options. That way, our meeting is more likely to happen, as we will both have selected our best possible option. Allow Doodle to take the time and stress out of organising events! Instapaper (http://www.instapaper.com) solves the problem for people with a huge appetite for information on the internet and not enough time. As you discover content, you don’t always have time to read it straight away. Instapaper allows you to save it for later, when you do have the time, without using conventional bookmarks. You create a free account on Instapaper’s website and you get a ‘Read Later’ button for your web browser. When you come across an article you want to read later, you click on the Read Later button and this saves the article with all the text and images (minus adverts) to Instapaper and any device on which you have the Instapaper application configured. You can then read the content off-line (i.e. without an internet connection) on these devices, which makes Instapaper ideal for commuting. You save all the articles you skim over during the day and then read them offline on the tram or in the plane, when you have more time. One great feature of Instapaper is its readability. You can select different fonts and change the size and spacing of the fonts for easier reading. Instapaper also allows you to tag, archive and share your content with others.

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ClASSIFIEDS

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classifieds

SETTING THE RIGHT TONE In the current economic climate, getting the appropriate message across to the correct target group has never been more important. In addition to being co-editor of The Sentinel, Gary Rudland has been a freelance English writer, editor and translator (Dutch-English) for well over a decade. During this time, my client list has come to read like a whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s who of the Dutch and international business world and includes KLM, Stork, Endemol, PPG, Spyker Cars, Holiday on Ice, IBM, ING Real Estate, Erasmus University Rotterdam, NEC Philips, Elsevier, Rabobank, Canon Europe, Center Parcs Europe and Efteling. My work involves writing, editing and translating articles, advertisements, website texts, press releases, brochures, leaflets, direct mailings and advertorials. If you are having trouble finding the right tone or the right supplier for texts such as these, please contact: Gary Rudland Tel. +31 20 4121920 Email: g.rudland@telfort.nl

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COLUMN

Stud marks By Maureen Kamp

To the tune of ‘That’s Amore’ by Dean Martin:

When you’re sat in row Z and the ball hits your head that’s Zamora How many of you have ever had a song written for you? Not a lot, I’d guess. But if you are a footballer, it can easily happen. Do something stupid or brilliant, or both, and some fan/rival will come up with a chant about it. In fact, if there’s no song after you do something stupid, brilliant or both, it basically means you are a nobody. Become the subject of a friend or foe’s chant and at least you know that somebody made the effort to think about you. So, part one of being a successful football player is to be interesting enough to have a song written about you; be a somebody. If you make it a lot further up the ladder, you might get a move/trick named after you. Perhaps the most famous example of this is the Cruijff turn, premiered by the one and only Johan Cruijff, of course. Others include the Panenka penalty, the Rivelino Elastico, Maradona’s 360, the Robinho pull back, the Garrincha turn, the Zico and Une Papinade (Jean Pierre Papin).

Sometimes, however, the world can turn against you. Make one or two horrible mistakes and your name can go down in history for less auspicious reasons. A Jesper Olsen is a common term in Denmark for making things very easy for your opponent. And how many times did Clarence Seedorf win the Champions League? In the Netherlands, the term Seedorfjes is commonly used to refer to the amount of penalties someone has missed. Would that have happened if Olsen and Seedorf were nobodies? I don’t think so. In the past, Bobby Zamora shot quite a few free kicks high over the goal and someone made up the (rather brilliant) chant above about him. More recently, however, he has made quite a career for himself and has managed to score more than a few goals. In fact, if not for injury, he would almost definitely have made it into England’s World Cup squad last year. And I, for one, think Bobby Zamora is a somebody (if only for the freckles… Love them) and would like to honour him with the introduction of the Zamora. It might not be that positive a thing in football but the world of rugby is a whole different ball game. At terracechants.me.uk you can find loads of stadium chants and, yes, some of them are pretty rude but most of them are pretty funny.

‘Do something stupid or brilliant, or both, and some fan/rival will come up with a chant about it’

Film review

Room 2c film By David King

The Commitments (1991) We got to have it, soul power... And what better way for Jimmy Rabbitte, fresh out of school and unemployed, to find it? Setting up a Dublin soul band with a collection of friends, misfits and the occasional undiscovered star, he attempts to take the local music scene by storm. Funny and tragic at the same time, this film has a heartwarming feel to it that will have you rushing to download those classic tracks to remember Joey ‘the lips’ Fagan and all the gang.

Cartoon By Colin Bentley Listen to this: ‘Self-proclaimed “best striker in the world” Niklas Bendtner is certain he can still help Arsenal win the Premier League’.

It’s far too late for that, the transfer window closed at the end of January!

trends

Body talk III: Ears I By Dirkje Bakker

After a couple of diversions, we are back on track listing fashionable ways to treat or adapt our bodies, or parts thereof. First of all, I would like to thank the Japanese for creating new trends while we sleep or spend time on one of our many useless hobbies. No sooner has one hot new look or item arrived here in our little cheese-coveting country (often after some super-long detour via the US, London, Paris, etc.), than a new one is already banging on our doors quite loudly, annoyed that we are so slow to react. It’s as if they have a super-secret trend factory over there, specialising in – to us Westerners – quite exotic ‘new’ habits, to put it kindly… Most would say, or at least think, ‘weird’. One of the latest phenomena lining the streets of major Japanese cities is an evolutionary leap in ear care called Earcleaning stations. Now, since the Japanese government has allowed ear cleaning salons to operate without the need for a licence, this new business model has taken off. Why have Japanese people been flocking to the new earcleaning businesses? According to Japanese businessmen, they go to find relaxation. “It’s so relaxing that three out of four clients, who are mostly men, fall asleep during the session. Because of all the stress people have and lack of real-world communication due to the internet, they want to make a connection with someone and experience healing.” The basic service at one of these stations lasts 30 minutes and costs ¥2,700 (about US$32). The customer is first introduced to a kimono-clad young woman, who serves him tea and makes small talk. She then places his head on

her lap and covers his face with a handkerchief. Using a ‘mimikaki’, an ear pick made of bamboo, metal or plastic with a small scoop at the end, she then gently and lovingly scrapes excess wax out of his ears. It takes one week of training to acquire proper ear-cleaning skills. Some of the more high-end salons offer acupressure: by pushing certain points, which correspond to different areas around the body, they can ‘cure’ problems such as constipation, help skin appear more clear and beautiful, and even help people lose weight. Other services on offer are ear wash, ear massage, additional massage, facial, shave and ‘ear fortune telling’ in which, by looking at the unique characteristics of a person’s ears, they claim to be able to divine a person’s past and personality, in order to advise them about their future. Some Japanese are lucky enough to have their own inhouse ear cleaner: among a Japanese mother’s many common duties is keeping her children’s and husband’s ears clean. Some unmarried women perform the task for their beaus, a few of whom may even return the favour. Those seeking a professional, yet low-budget solution to the earwax dilemma often visit a local ‘jibika’, or ear, nose and throat doctor. The ear-cleaning tradition in Japan is long standing and highly evolved, they scorn our use of the primitive earwax removal device – the Q-tip. In fact, although standard in the West, these actually push things deeper into the ear canal. This may explain why Asians are generally better at ear care than Westerners, because they have this tradition of looking after their ears carefully.

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By Simon Joseph

The ‘Y’ word

A debate that has been around in football for some time has recently been reignited. Occasionally, a local rabbi gets a bit uptight about the misuse of a certain word and begins to preach tolerance and understanding in response. The dispute is about the use of the socalled ‘Y’ word at football matches, which is deemed by many as racially abusive and unacceptable because of its historical associations. But when did all this bigotry begin and does it really have anything to do with the beautiful game? It started when the Tottenham faithful started labelling themselves as ‘Yids’.

A couple of weeks ago, a new campaign started to kick the ‘Y’ word out of football. This time, it was not a local rabbi or imam raising awareness but the Jewish celebrity and football fan, David Baddiel. According to him and the antiracism campaigners, Kick It Out, there is no place for the ‘Y’ word on the terraces. Gaining support from the likes of Frank Lampard and even Ledley King, the campaign warns that use of this word is comparable to the racism once aimed at black players. They remind us that future use is illegal and perpetrators will be punished with lifelong bans or even prison sentences. Now, it is not difficult to understand why Baddiel would not wish to be branded as a Yid. After all, he is a Chelsea supporter and within English football, the word ‘Yid’ is

‘There is no place for the ‘Y’ word on the terraces’

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synonymous with Tottenham supporters. It is our rallying cry, our identity, our history... Or is it? The history of the ‘Y’ word arises from European ghettos, where Jewish people were forced to live in segregation from the rest of society. The Yiddish language has Germanic, Polish and Hebrew roots and the word Yid was not only used as a term of abuse during the evacuation of Jews from Russia and Eastern Europe in the nineteenth century, but is more characteristically associated with the Nazi’s attempt to exterminate the entire Jewish race. It is a word besieged by terror, connoting persecution, isolation and fear. Around 40 years ago, Spurs supporters were being taunted by rival supporters, who branded them Yids because of

the large Jewish population in and around the Tottenham area. Identifying with the ghettoised Jews of Eastern Europe, the home crowd began to sing anti-Semitic chants about their own supporters, referring to themselves as the Yid army. At the time, this was described as a display of “sheer genius” from the terraces of White Hart Lane. By appropriating the ‘Y’ word as a badge of honour, Spurs fans would become immune to the overtly anti-Semitic chants of rival supporters, so the story goes. This identification with the persecuted has been referred to as a siege mentality or simply laddish, footy banter and, therefore, acceptable in the context of a football match between Tottenham and a rival club. As a rallying cry by Spurs supporters, the term Yid does not refer to ghettoised Jews but to fellow supporters. There is no doubt that the

‘Yid was not only used as a term of abuse during the evacuation of Jews from Russia and Eastern Europe in the nineteenth century’

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‘The home crowd began to sing anti-Semitic chants about their own supporters, referring to themselves as the Yid army’

club has a Jewish history, which could or should be a reason to celebrate. In their ignorance, however, others, including some Tottenham supporters, have misinterpreted this completely. Behind every word is a context or a connotation; this is how we can tell one person or thing from another, one idea from the next. It is perhaps in moments of doubt about their own identity that the narrow-minded feel threatened by another person or group’s strong sense of self. In a society where prejudice has always fed on fear, the use of a word steeped in so much hatred will undoubtedly become a cause for concern. In contrast, then, it seems as though it is exactly the resurgent use of the ‘Y’ word that gives so-called football supporters an excuse to perpetuate the hatred and remind us of the context behind the word Yid – the oppressive brutality once inflicted upon millions of innocent people. The way this word is chanted at White Hart Lane is not meant to be derogatory, racist or harmful but merely

ironic, since we have reclaimed it from the mouths of the abusers. But we cannot be held responsible for the other foul mouths who chant it; the so-called football fans who hiss at Spurs matches to imitate gas chambers, or the idiots who chant sieg heil from the stands. This applies particularly to our ‘friendly’ neighbours and closest rivals, Arsenal, who, strangely enough, also have a large number of Jewish followers. While certain sections of society continue to use racist and abusive language, it will no doubt continue to breed hatred and lead to odious behaviour. With all this in mind, being a Yid in the context of the club, contrary to what most fans would tell you, is not “simply being a Tottenham supporter”. The violent history of the ghetto should never be forgotten but neither should it be repeated. Maybe Baddiel and Kick It Out are fighting a worthwhile battle after all, because while we continue to call ourselves Yids, the hypocrisy surrounding it will remind others of the hatred and give them an excuse to perpetuate it.

‘We cannot be held responsible for the other foul mouths who chant it; the so-called football fans who hiss at Spurs matches to imitate gas chambers, or the idiots who chant sieg heil from the stands’

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Robin van Persie

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The Gold Room By Denson Pierre

Maturity brings relief and perspective in football and life, they say. It seems like only a couple of years ago when a rough and ready Rotterdam-street-cultured lad from Feyenoord – a young tearaway who was barely able to speak decent Dutch, let alone any other language – was taken to London and Arsenal FC on some sort of zany whim by Arsene Wenger and earmarked as the eventual replacement for Dennis Bergkamp. In reality, it has already been seven full years that Robin van Persie has been employed in London to produce out-of-this-world football for us! Most, if not all, of you reading this would have also taken a deep breath and wondered if it could really be so many years already gone by in the top-flight career of this ultraskilful waif, with the most precise ball-striking technique for a generation, who has now filled-out into a powerfully built (centre) forward. The truth is that Van Persie has been almost tragically blighted by fragility related injuries, suffered both while representing the Netherlands’ national team and certainly in the crunching, tackle-filled English Premier League. Not since the days of Darren Anderton, or maybe the second half of Bryan Robson’s career, has such a crowd-

pleasing, top-league player frustrated so much, due to regular incidences of injury. It feels like Van Persie has never lasted more than a few games before breaking down and has endured a peculiar stop-start version of a career. What is certain, though, is that over recent months Van Persie has had such a run of fitness that he has finally been able to excitingly drive his goals to matches ratio for the period since his return up to 1:1.388. This thrilling statistic includes goals scored in Euro 2012 Qualifiers, Champions League, Premier League and League Cup matches. This sort of form explains why FFG-CL managers have historically always gambled on him being a potential game winner. Arsenal are unlikely to win the Premier League title this season and, even at the time of writing (15-04-11), not a single FFG-CL manager has included him. No-one here even picked him at the start of the season! Despite the claim to fantasy football mastery we make in here, we may all have allowed the best natural footballer in the EPL to escape us this time. May Robin van Persie keep his fitness, so that he can continue to wow us with his elegance, artistry, explosiveness and power for many seasons to come.

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