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ISSUE #3 Page 5 Russell Brand
Page 6 Todd Barry
Page 9 RENO 911
WHO WE BE
2 0 0 9
Page 10 Jim Gaffigan
Page 18 Rob Cantrell
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ALLEGED EDITOR IN CHIEF ART DIRECTOR / PUBLISHER AD REPRESENTATIVE JOHN ROSS johnross@thesetlistonline.com 916-760-8055 CHIEF OF EDITOR IN CHIEF MENTOR OF ART DIRECTOR PUBLISHING GURU RAY MOLINA CONTRIBUTORS JESSE FERNANDEZ, KEITH LOWELL JENSEN, JESSE JONES, JASON LONG , ADRIAN PALENCHAR AND CHEESE Best Logo Award 1973
SPECIAL THANKS JIM GAFFIGAN, NICOLE CHABOT, CHAD LEHRMAN @ SFSTANDUP.COM, JACK @ COMEDY CENTRAL, ASPECIALTHING RECORDS, SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT AND DARLENE @ HERBURGER PUBLICATIONS
MARCH 15TH - APRIL 15TH
THE SET LIST
3. YOU ARE HERE 4. DEAR 2ND GREATEST COMEDIAN 5. RUSSELL BRAND 6. TODD BARRY 7. RETRO REVIEWS 8. DOUG BENSON 9. COMEDY CENTRAL’S APRIL PREMIERE REVIEW 10. JIM GAFFIGAN - WAY BEYOND THE PALE 12. NOR CAL COMEDY CALENDAR 14. PITHED OFF - ONLY THE LONELY CAN PLAY 16. THE NEW FUNNIES 18. ROB CANTRELL 19. HOROSCOPES 21. THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST
Introducing the intro So wow, This issue is loaded! We got Jim Gaffigan to get on the phone with us, Comedy Central to send us a bunch of stuff to review and a graphic of a half-naked bikini clad cartoon chic on page 15. (Not that I care...I married...) As if that wasn’t enough, we got the a fully interactive digital version of this publication up on our site right this minute, over on www.thesetlistonline.com. The cool thing about that is, is that inside the publication you can click on a ton of active links and we have a few “easter eggs” embedded with fun games and contests. Run your cursor over everything to find the links. As far as the contest goes, we will be offering you the chance to win free tickets to comedy shows here in Sacramento, San Francisco and beyond, as well as any offers we can pull out of our advertisers. As more online readers get on board with us, the contests will get less lame. Also, The Set List has been working with many of the local clubs and venues to get some affordable $5 shows together, including us sponsoring April’s local talent open mic over at Laughs Unlimited in Old Town on April 7th at 8 pm and our very own “The Fool’s of April” Comedy Showcase at The Java Lounge on April 1st at 8 pm.. Java Lounge is in Midtown Sacramento at 2416 16th Street. Both shows are only five bucks. We are at the Java Lounge the first Wednesday on every month. In other news, my wife and I had our 3rd child earlier this month, Lily Kaylene Ross. She was 9 lbs 8 oz. and my wife fought this one without any drugs. I owe her big. You should send us money and diapers...really. Also this last thing, Congrats to Chazz Hawkins for landing his first Emcee gig over at the Punch Line. You really do deserve it. Thanks for the support, John Ross johnross@thesetlistonline.com www.thesetlistonline.com
WE ARE O
Dear, 2nd Greatest Comedian ...on planet earth
Dear 2nd Greatest Comedian on Planet Earth, I’m a college student and I just moved into my new place with new roommates. One roommate is a vegetarian and the other roommate is normal. I don’t mind eating all vegetables but I prefer to eat meat, but my roommate is always harassing me about the brutalities of the meat industries. I just don’t care that much about how much pain my hamburgers feel, does that make me a bad person?
Dear Omnivore, I know it’s hard to look in the eyes of an animal and then drive a bolt into it’s head or to watch an obese chicken packed so tight in a cage that it doesn’t even know it’s too fat to move, even if it wanted, even if it had wants. Omnivore, did you for one second think to ask what the cows might want? Maybe these cows don’t mind the short life span when there is guaranteed food everyday. Maybe they like raising a family in an environment that does what it can to ensure each new calf has a chance to become tasty. Maybe chickens like a lot of company or maybe chickens actually don’t have any thoughts at all. You know, cows are vegetarians also. See what happens to them? Maybe if they ate a little meat they wouldn’t be in this mess. Look, if someone grabbed my breast and started yanking on them, you bet your ass I’m going to try and take a bite out of them. There are more cows today than ever in history, if anything we’re helping propagate the species. I’m no expert on anything and I don’t know right from wrong, but I can say this for sure, cows don’t care about your feelings. I don’t mind people eating plants even though I prefer an abundance of foliage over an abundance of manure. There are a lot of very tasty vegetarian dishes, some actually almost taste like the actual dish it’s trying to replicate. Try making one yourself and maybe you’ll find a compromise with your roommate. All it takes is thirty separate ingredients to make something that usually takes one. Personally, I’m a vegan and the sight of meat disgusts me so much, that I won’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Yours Truly, 2nd Greatest Comedian on Planet Earth
N THE W
EB
WWW.THESETLISTONLINE.COM FULLY
IA D E M L A T I G I D E V I T C INTERA
Page 4 - The Set List - “Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.” - Lily Tomlin
Sincerely, Omnivore
reviews. previews and reprereviews.
We’ve never been so right.
RUSSELL BRAND IN NEW YORK Being that UK comedian Russell Brand has barley made his mark on the US landscape, by way of character Aldous Snow in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Bed Time Stories and his most recent Comedy Central special, “Russell Brand in New York,” I thought it fair to do a little “past dredging,” to find out who this guy is. Sure, the point of this article is to review his Comedy Central performance that premiered earlier this month, but as I began to form this review, I found that Brand’s real life is just as fascinating as his “butt-rocker Captain Jack Sparrow,” stage persona. With year’s of “everything” abuse, as well as bouts with bulimia and bipolar disorder, it’s no wonder he’s a brilliant writer and stand up comic. To his credit, the word is that he’s been clean since 2003. His latest special definitely has some slow/gross spots, particularly the spots that involve him talking about his own sperm, but the majority of his performance is fairly entertaining.
Page 5 - The Set List - “A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on..” - Fred Allen
Hell, you know what? Some of his sperm stuff is funny too. (see his bit on the mind set of the post and pre ejaculatory states of men verses boys) For the most part Brand carries himself as an overly confident, flamboyantly gay, ladies man, (if that’s possible) while his constant self-deprecation pokes holes in any seriousness you may judge about him. During one half-hearted applause break, Brand replied, “Don’t worry about applause, I hear it in my head constantly.” He also opens with telling the mostly American audience that he’s, “really famous in England,” and then explains how having to tell people you’re famous usually kills the buzz. Brand fills the rest of his 45-minute show with bits on his experiences at the MTV’s VMA awards with The Jonas Brothers, Jordan Sparks, Kanye West and Brittney Spears’ and an elephant’s vagina. - John Ross
reviews. previews and reprereviews continued...
A BOOK REVIEW
The Last Laugh by Phil Berger
TWO TIMING TODD Two great albums from one great comic Todd Barry From Heaven 2008
Todd Barry hopes you laugh or else he doesn’t care at all. His ‘mellow to almost the point of comatose’ delivery would suggest the later. This is not a comedian who wants to yell at you. He doesn’t need to get ridiculously excited or bounce around to bump the laughs off once they start coming. Todd Barry has jokes, he tells them and you laugh. It’s a nice arrangement as the jokes work, consistently. A fair amount of the material on “From Heaven” deals with the pitfalls of a life in comedy, rewarding the comedy fans and other comedians who will be familiar with the guy who asks the comic “ ‘Hey, it’s my friends birthday, can you totally rag on him?’ I always thought that’s kind of a ballsy request. ‘Hey, I know you had a show planned but uh, something came up.’ Something Came Up?! Something important I hope, like a total stranger’s birthday.” And then there is the possibly well meaning audience member who says, “ ‘Oh my God, you are so much funnier live than you are on Comedy Central.’ And I just want to say to her, I bet your comments are better televised. Maybe you can get your own show on the new Backhanded Compliments Network.” You don’t have to be a comedy obsessed fan to get From Heaven of course. Todd Barry meanders all over
the place in a freeform, conversational style that only a very confident comedian could manage. Judging from this performance, that confidence is well warranted. _ Keith Lowell Jensen
Todd Barry Medium Energy 2001
Take a moment and go through your CD collection. If by any chance you have a CD labeled “Medium Energy” by Todd Barry, then stop and thank yourself for making one of your few good decisions in life. Todd Barry is considered to have one of the most unique delivery’s in stand up and he often resonates with a more cynical fringe culture audience. There is something special about this album and that may be why you still have it. “Medium Energy” was recorded live in New York City in 2001, and though this CD has been sitting in your collection for a good eight years now, it still feels like a breath of fresh air for those who realize how unique TB is, that’s Todd Barry for those who find it easier to remember highly contagious diseases instead of peoples actual names. For starters the album has a very intimate feel to it, which depending on whether or not you’re wearing clothes, will determine how intimate it can be. There’s a depth to it that feels as if you are there in the club. Many comedy albums being produced have the sound of the audience always hiked up to a
roar, and these days with hardcore editing, it’s hard to distinguish how many laughs were looped in. With “Medium Energy” you get nothing but the real deal. Hear Todd win the audience. Hear Todd lose the audience... and hear Todd win them back again. It’s this simplicity that is certain to win over new and nostalgic listeners alike. Todd Barry is a humble comedian of genius proportions. He starts off by telling the audience they’re in for a “really shitty show” by doing “a mixture of really old shit I’m tired of and a bunch of new material too new to try but I’m gonna do it anyway.” Hence the album’s title “Medium Energy” which perfectly describes the show and his stage presence, it’s barely there. Although he can be dull and somewhat lackluster in his performance, his material is rich, original, and his voice is just the right tone for his slowhand punch lines. His material ranges from everything from color T.V. in prisons, neck tattoos, party invitations, and the evilness of fruit. Barry’s delivery is somewhat old school with the setup/punchline and tags, at the same time making every joke flow into the setup of the next one. It’s a refreshing reminder of good standup. This album offers it all, some old mixed with new, crowd interaction, awkward moments, incredible writing and a unique persona. Needless to say, Todd Barry will be your new favorite comic once again and “Medium Energy” will forever more be one of your favorite comedy albums. - Josh Vigil
Page 6 - The Set List - “I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport. ..” - Todd Barry
The Last Laugh is quite simply the best book written on American stand up comedy. Berger interviews the big names, the behind the scenes folks and even the people we never heard of who played a roll in the comedy scene from the venue owners to the agents to the stage shy kid who could make all the comics roll with laughter though he himself could never get up on the stage. Berger’s biggest accomplishment here is keeping it all entertaining and paced as skillfully as a good comedy set. He serves up the back stage gossip, the personal stories and the growth of individual comics and comedy in general from the post vaudeville acts of the forties through the cable ready jokesters of the eighties. It also worth noting that Berger has written neither a tell all tabloid expose nor a polished fluff piece. The comics are presented warts and all and each is treated to a fair examination. To try and list all the comedians covered would be to list every noteworthy and even many forgotten comics to grace the stand up stage. The books has been passed around by my comic pals and while many learned a new name or two not one of them complained of any omissions. In writing of American stand up comedy Berger has captured the bigger story of our country and its citizens who’ve always managed to find a laugh in the best of times and in the most troubled and turbulent of times as well.
RETRO REVIEWS with Keith Lowell Jensen
Lily Tomlin
“Modern Scream” Lily Tomlin has never been purely a stand up comedian. She can be regarded as one of the pioneer’s of the one woman show. With her long time partner Jane Wagner, Tomlin has always presented a wild ensemble of characters since she first entered the public consciousness portraying Edith Ann on Laugh In. This approach is suited perfectly to the stand up comedy record as witnessed on 1975’s Modern Scream, the comedienne’s first attempt at vinyl. The record is beautifully crafted starting with a reporter (played by Tomlin) struggling to get an interview with Tomlin and being interrupted by the neighbor (played by Tomlin) and other odd character’s as Tomlin makes her way to a show. We are then treated to a live performance which features some fantastic stand up and of course more characters. The vapid Suzie Sorority implies a sorority sister may have had an abortion and ditched the fetus in the sorority incinerator as casually as she might accuse someone of leaving the toilet seat up. A woman confronts here hideous depraved addiction to rubber; “At first I was careful, ya know, door stops, backs off the shag rugs, tip of mothers’ cane…” Old favorites Ernestine and the precocious Edith Ann both make appearance and of course so does Tomlin herself pondering such questions as, Should Ice be regarded as “h2o squared.” It’s wrapped in a wonderful fold out, tabloid parody cover designed by Wagner and featuring many pictures of the schizophrenic Tomlin in various wigs and costumes. The experiment that is Modern Scream works and gives us a rare example of stand up, sketch and theater flowing together seamlessly.
Bobcat Goldthwait
“Meat Bob”
Bobcat Goldthwait will by many be regarded as a strange character from the eighties, most remembered for his sweaty roles in One Crazy Summer and Police Academy. In these films and in his stand up he appeared to be some kind of lumber jack who’d been unknowingly slipped a large amount of LSD and who never quite came down. The character was a good gimmick and Goldthwait’s balance down at the bank surely benefited. What many people don’t remember or perhaps never caught is that the man was, and when he peeks out of retirement as her frequently does, IS a genuinely talented, funny and thought provoking comic. Some very solid evidence of this can found on Meat Bob, the record Goldthwait released in 1988 at the height of his fame. To be sure the screechy voice, the bizarre noises punctuating the jokes, it’s all here, but so is Bobcat talking about his sincere and very sweet hopes for his young daughter and a hilarious and equally sincere track of the comic analyzing and elevating his public feud with Sylvester Stallone. “Meat Bob” makes it blatantly clear that Goldthwait is not some over the top parody of the counter culture but a much more nuanced social critic ready to challenge the conservatives then in power in Washington and in Hollywood. The comic manages to give us just enough thoughtfulness and poignancy mixed in with the crazy antics that he employed to catch our attention to begin with, walking the line between being preachy and presenting a record of growls and screeches that might be used as a soundtrack for your next Halloween haunted house. This fantastic example of eighties comedy at it’s best is hard to find these days but there are copies floating around at the used record shops and you might still, occasionally get lucky and find the disc at a Salvation Army.
Page 7 - The Set List - “If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.” - Patton Oswalt
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Doug Benson
Professional Humoredian If you are the kind of person who is aware of Doug Benson, then you are probably a fan of Doug Benson. The problem with America and the Universe is that most people aren’t the kind of person to have heard of him. You can actually find his stand-up lots of places: The “Comedy Death Ray” CD’s, “The Marijuana-Logues” CD, The “Live at The Troubador” DVD. You can see a bit of his stand-up on his mockumentary, “Super-High Me.” And as fantastic as these products are, you’d be hard-pressed to find a television advertisement for any of them; the map to even hearing about most of these treasures exists most exclusively within the ominously Mountain-Dewsoaked brains of comedy nerds. I say that with affection. Doug Benson’s newest CD is called “Doug Benson: Professional Humoredian.” It’s great. However, if you’ve managed to experience his efforts on the previously mentioned products – as a comedy nerd very well might – then you’ve already experienced about 60 percent of this CD.
It’s up to you whether or not 40 percent new material is worth the purchase. Also, every once in a while on the CD Benson’s mind will stick to a sound or phrase, and he’ll repeat it, a little louder or a little goofier. This is analogous, to me, to someone tapping their fingers on a table: It annoys me, but others may not even notice it. I will say that his material on the CD is fantastic: layered and nuanced like a stoner, by all accounts, should not be able to create. By the way, Benson is not shy in the least to talk about smoking pot, so if you are, go away from here. Not that his entire act hinges on the subject, but it’s there, lurking and ready to make the short leap from his soul to his words. I happen to like this part of him: I am constantly fascinated that he can manage to be as great at this comedy stuff as he is while maintaining a habit of what I have been told is a brain-crushing drug. I mean, it’s not very often you can utter the phrase “brilliant stoner” and mean it, but it’s a lot of fun when you can. - Jesse Fernandez Catch Doug at the San Francisco Punch Line on April 20th 2009 for the recording of his newest CD.
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Page 8 - The Set List - “When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.” - George Carlin
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Series Premiere April 9th on Comedy Central at 10 pm
The cops are back on the RENO beat as “RENO 911!” returns for a sixth season to debut Wednesday, April 1 at 10:30 p.m.. This season, two new cops join the “RENO 911!” squad: Sergeant Jack Declan (Ian Roberts) the macho, by-thebook cop’s cop and Deputy Franky Rizzo (Jo Lo Truglio), a big city cop and the opposite of Declan who not only doesn’t play by the rules, he hasn’t even read the rules. Ian Roberts film credits include “Step Brothers,” “RENO 911!: Miami,” “Talladega Nights” and “Anchorman.” Roberts has had guest roles on “Arrested Development” and was a founding member of COMEDY CENTRAL’s “Upright Citizens Brigade.” Joe Lo Truglio is best known for film roles in “Pineapple Express,” “Superbad” and “RENO 911!: Miami” and was one of the founding members of “The State” comedy troupe on MTV. The debut episode with guest star Jonah Hill (fat guy from Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, Superbad...etc) resolves last season’s cliffhanger as to which RENO deputies survived the horrible accident at the taco stand. Future episodes feature the deputies getting
a free vacation to Thailand, Lt. Dangle hosting a murder mystery dinner and the deputies hiring Reno’s finest director to help them make a new recruitment commercial. Sixth season guest stars include Carmen Electra, George Lopez, Patton Oswalt, Nick Swardson, Rachael Harris, Aziz Ansari, Matt Besser, Rob Huebel, Jay Johnston, AD Miles, Scott Thompson And Matt Walsh. Performances from both Swardson and Oswalt were pretty great. Throughout Swardson’s scene he improv’s his way through brilliantly, causing his on screen co-stars to have a hard time staying in character. Really funny. Oswalt also does a great job, delivering a fairly convincing murder confession. Hill basically plays his usual role of the sarcastic smart ass, which oddly, never seems to get old. The new cast members play in perfectly to the spirit of the show. The show may not run as long as their “spoofee” counterpart “Cops,” but I don’t see RENO 911 going anywhere for a very long time.
Comedy Central brings great shows and sometimes it also brings shows like “Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire” which brings balance and humility to their great network. The new fantasy comedy show on Comedy Central features a rag tag group of liberators who fight their way through a medieval land, full of colorful stereotypical characters like kings and wizards, heroes and heroines. Think Princess Bride or Monty Python. (At least that’s what I thought someone must have thrown out in order to get this thing off the ground. It’s got it’s moments and I stress “moments.” I’m going to try and go easy considering it’s their first episode, but from what I saw, I wouldn’t mind it if it was their last. You actually see the jokes coming from as far back as medieval times, actually medieval times the restaurant is probably more humorous than this show. It’s clear that this show is targeting the”13-year old annoying boy” demographic and if in that sense, it succeeds. I have no doubt that it will hold their attention long enough for the show to work itself through the common “first episodes” struggles. Often the dramatic music picks up when the set up starts and then drops off as soon as they want you to be aware of the bad joke that ensues. The problem is (“The problem” as if there’s only one) every single character is the bumbling fool, there’s overuse of silly nomenclature
Page 9 - The Set List - “I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you’ve seen it. .” - Steven Wright
and this cookie cutter comedy is cutting stale cookies. The female lead whose is actually quite cute, is supposed to be hypersexed. The problem here is, that she is too attractive and when she uses intercourse sex to get her way, it gets old right before they actually mention in the show that she uses sex to get her way. Had it been an ugly girl doing the same thing, something funny might be derived from her constant rejections. “Maybe not funny, but ‘funnier.’” When the dialogue isn’t robbing set ups from punch lines, the actual look of the show gives you the feeling that your up way to late and watching a skinemax movie, all the while ignoring the bad attempts at humor in order to get to the bikini slip scenes. They consider it their first fantasy but the fantastic ideas illustrated on “Strangers with Candy” were far better and executed with a seasoned cast of very funny people. Like I said, it’s only their first episode, sometimes they need to suck in order for the producers to say to the writers “fine! do it your way.” Here’s a few things you need to be aware of before you watch this. The cast: a gay guy, a hot girl, a big dummy, a powerless wizard and a hero who has little to no comedic timing. Again, that may be the script. A lot of the problems might not be the actors fault, perhaps when they were shooting the director kept yelling “now suck” instead of action.
by John Ross When it came to interviewing a guy like Jim Gaffigan, for me, many concerns and worries seemed to arise. You think to yourself, “I hope I don’t sound stupid with my questions, I hope his handlers have a sense of humor, I hope he’s not a dick.” In fact just before the interview my buddy Ray (seeing how nervous I was) urged me to pitch this comment: “Jim, please don’t be a dick, because I really, really like you.” Now, because of the coward that I am, I didn’t move forward with that comment, and even if I would have, it would have been in vein. After getting off of the 30-minute phone call with Jimmy (yeah I call him Jimmy now), I learned not only is he a great writer and performer, but he’s also a great person. How’s that for a lead in? Many of you may be wondering, “Why so star struck John?” Really, I have no answer to that question. As far as I was concerned about myself, I thought those days had passed. The feelings of thinking I was cool because I almost shook Kirk Cameron’s hand at Disney Land just suddenly resurfaced when faced with actually talking to one of my all time favorite comics…Jimmy (yeah I call him Jimmy now) Gaffigan. Here’s how it went. Oh yea, his new Comedy Central special “King Baby” premieres on March 29th at 9pm.
Page 10 - The Set List - “I only dated one asian girl, but she was very asian, she was a panda.” - Jim Gaffigan
TSL: So you’ve got the Comedy Central special coming up on March 29th. Is this your second hour-long special? JG: Yeah, this will be the second one, the second hour-long one. I had like 13 years to prepare for the first one and then I did a Comedy Central Presents, but that was only like 23 minutes or something, so this one was quite an undertaking. TSL: With your previous special, Beyond the Pale being so popular and going Gold in 6 weeks, did you find it tough to develop new material for the upcoming special, “King Baby,” while on the road? JG: Yeah, I’ve been touring and constantly doing theaters, and when I do a theater and people are paying like $30 bucks, I don’t want them seeing me try out a half hour of new material. If I didn’t do “Hot Pockets,” people would be kinda bothered I guess. So typically, the process of writing this hour was to come up with material and try it in clubs in New York City, whether it be regular clubs or underground alternative rooms and just slowly work it in. I think being kind of an eccentric observational guy it’s tough, (not that it’s easy for all comics) because I deal with a lot of rather mundane topics, so building a chunk on a topic takes a long time. It’s not like the Vice President shoots someone and then I’ve got another five minutes. TSL: Where did the title “King Baby” come from? JG: I started dating my wife, I guess, about six years ago and it was kind of like an internal joke because she would spoil me and I wasn’t used to that. You know being a comic and coming home and having someone like make dinner or something. Essentially it’s about her spoiling and that I was like the “King” of all “Babies.” It wasn’t done in a derogatory manner, but I do this thing where I act like a gigantic baby, ya know act how a baby walks and things. I guess it was just an inside joke between her and I. Also, I though it was just a strange name for a title, so I though it was funny.
TSL: Being that you have two little kids and a fairly young family, how balance out into your touring schedule? JG: Let me just clarify, the whole “Beyond the Pale” thing, I had no expectation that it would translate into me doing these theaters. I feel that I am very lucky and I know I am very lucky, but the amazing thing is that with its success, it’s actually worked out better for me with having a young family. Now instead of going out of town and leaving on a Wednesday and coming back on Monday, I can leave on a Friday and come back on that Sunday. So it’s shortened some of the touring. I try not to be away fro more than two days, because kids can grow up so fast and I don’t want to miss it. It really is a balancing act because as comedians we are such night people and these kids have these strange morning habits of getting up. It’s really all good. TSL: I noticed on your website you’re labeled as an Actor, Writer and Comedian. Obviously you can be all of those, but what do you want to be known as? JG: Well, you know I actually think I have no control over what I’m known as, but I think every comedian has to do stand up. I think it’s weird where you hear things like, “Robin Williams is returning to stand up or Jerry Seinfeld….” Comedians always have it in their blood. I think Don Rickles doing
stand up in his 80’s, makes comics think, “If I could still do it in my 80’s with a sweet gig like Rickles, I’d do it too.” For many years prior to “Beyond the Pale,” I was kina known as an actor who does stand up. Actually just before it aired, USA Today wrote something like, “Sitcom actor, Gaffigan tries stand up.” (laughter) You just have no control over what you’re seen as. A big part of me loves acting, but it’s not like I’m using stand up to get acting jobs or using acting to fill seats. It’s like two separate synergistic pursuits. TSL: With all the different famous nuances of your act, like the “inner voice,” and the “Hot Pocket” bit; are you ever bombarded with fans interrupting you with your own quotes? JG: The whole “inner voice” thing was just a part of who I really am. I do it in everyday life, like when I was dating me wife and I’d be late for a date, I’d be like, “You asked me on a date and then you’re late?” just to diffuse the situation. Really, to comment on your own jokes from stage, is kind of a sign of weakness, but if you do it with confidence, then you won’t lose the crowd. As far as the “Hot Pocket,” thing, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t know if I have just blocked it out, but before that I was the “’Meow’ guy from Super Troopers” and before that that I was the “Manatee guy,” so it’s not that big of a deal. Sure, I’ll be walking in a air port and I’ll hear someone yell, “Hot Pocket!” and I’m not sure how to respond…”Thank you!” But you definitely don’t want to be a jerk about it. There’s a difference between someone recognizing you and someone who really likes your stuff. Like someone will say, “Hey there’s the “Hot Pocket guy,” I don’t interpret that into, “Hey there’s my hero.” I just take it for, “Hey there’s the Hot Pocket guy,” ya know? I always keep it in the perspective of, they’d probably respond the same way to Pauly Shore. That doesn’t mean I’m great. That’s nothing against Pauly Shore, it’s just…you know what I mean. (laughter) TSL: What would you be doing if you weren’t doing stand up? JG: I went to college for about a year at Perdue to study Finance. I was totally uninterested in it. I think when you’re uninterested in something, you end up being really bad at it. I came from a family where my dad was the first one to go to college, so my family really promoted secure career options, ya know, jobs that you can’t get laid off from. I had a job once as a litigation consultant and after that I was in advertising. When I was in advertising I had tried stand up, so I knew that I wanted to do stand up at least at night. I kept my day job for a long time, which was just “security” driven. I just wanted to have something to fall back on you know? After a while I would just pray to get laid off so I could tour and get unemployment benefits. Back to your question, I probably would have been a banker or something…
NOR CAL COMEDY
THE SET LIST
SPONSORED BY SACSTANDUP.COM AND SFSTANDUP.COM
3.15
sunday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Cowboy Bill Martin , 8
3.20
friday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
Dat Phan with Kevin Camia and Chazz Hawkins, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Comedy Showcase, 8
PEPPERBELLYS
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
TOMMY T’S
SAN JOSE IMPROV COBBS
monday
Jimmy Dore, 8 & 10
Scantily Clad Showcase, 9
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Latin All Star Comedy, 8:30
Battle of the Bay Comedy Competition, 7
Louis Katz, Kevin Camia and M. Dixon, 8
Shane Mauss, 9
Brain Kellen, 7:30
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE Hump Day Show, 8
Bruce Bruce, 8 & 10
THE RAVINE
3.21
SAN JOSE IMPROV
saturday
Open mic, 8
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
3.17
tuesday
Butch Escobar’s Unfiltered Underground, 8
3.26
The Happy Holligans, 8 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
3.29
John Evan and Friends, 8
thursday
Gary Owen, Key Lewis and Justin McClure, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Comedy Showcase, 8
PEPPERBELLYS Bryan Kellen
John Evan and Friends, 8
PUNCHLINE SAN FRANCISCO
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
TOMMY T’S
PEPPERBELLYS
Gary Owen, Key Lewis and Justin McClure, 8:30
John Witherspoon, 7:30
ROOSTER T’S
SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT
Greg Fitzsimmons, Louis Katz and M. Dixon, 8
Jimmy Dore, 8
PEPPERBELLY’S
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
John Witherspoon, 7:30
3.18
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
Jimmy Dore, 8
TOMMY T’S
Three Dollar Thursdays! 8
Rob Cantrell Live CD Recording, 8
Dom Irrera, Steve mazan, Max Curry, 8 & 10
Open mic, 8
Craig Shoemaker the Lovemaster
Rooster’s New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
Scramble, 10
Comedy Showcase, 8
J.B. Smoove with Carla Clayy and Ali Wong, 8
wednesday
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Russell Peters, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Rob Cantrell Live CD Recording, 8
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE SFCC - Grad Show, 8
TOMMY T’S
ROOSTER T’S
New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Edwin San Juan’s SlantED Comedy Presented by Alex Retodo, 8
3.19
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
thursday
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Russell Peters, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Dom Irrera, Steve Mazan, Max Curry, 8
PEPPERBELLYS
Craig Shoemaker the Lovemaster
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE She-Ha! Mistresses of the Microphone, 8
Gallagher, 7:30
ROOSTER T’S Shane Mauss, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV Bret Ernst, 8
COBBS
Shane Mauss, 8 & 10:30 Bruce Bruce, 7 & 9
COBBS
Paula Poundstone, 8 & 10:15
sunday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED The Happy Holligans, 8
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Russell Peters, 8:30
SF Comedy Showcase, 8
PEPPERBELLYS
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
The Onion Comedy Series with Ali Wong, 8
Gary Owen, Key Lewis and Justin McClure, 8:30 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Greg Fitzsimmons, Louis Katz and M. Dixon, 8 & 10
PEPPERBELLY’S
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO TOMMY T’S
Scantily Clad Showcase, 9
The Blanks, 7
monday
THE RAVINE
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
TOMMY T’S
Brain Kellen, 7:30
Greg Behrendt, 8
Page 12 - The Set List - “I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.” - Rodney Dangerfield
tuesday
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
COBBS
Bobcat Goldthwait w/ John Ross, 8 & 10:30
Jimmy Dore, 8
Bruce Bruce, 7
Open mic, 8
3.31
ROOSTER T’S
SAN JOSE IMPROV
3.23
friday
Bryan Kellen
Shane Mauss, 8
monday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
PEPPERBELLYS
ROOSTER T’S
TOMMY T’S
Anti-Cooperation League, 9
Gallagher, 7
3.30
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT
TOMMY T’S
Ralphie May, 7
THE RAVINE
John Witherspoon, 7:30 & 9:30
Craig Shoemaker the Lovemaster
SAN JOSE IMPROV COBBS
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
3.27
ROOSTER T’S Mike Epps, 7
ROOSTER T’S
Ralphie May, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
The Happy Holligans, 8
TOMMY T’S
ROOSTER T’S
3.22
TOMMY T’S
SAN JOSE IMPROV Kirk Fox, 8 COBBS
Gallagher, 7:30
Happy Holligans, 7:30
TOMMY T’S
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Young Guns of Comedy, 7
sunday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
Russell Peters, 8:30 & 10:30
Ralphie May, 8 & 10:15
New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
Paula Poundstone, 8 & 10:15
ROOSTER T’S
SAN JOSE IMPROV Kevin Pollak , 8 & 10 COBBS
TOMMY T’S
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Bryan Kellen
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
ROOSTER T’S
TOMMY T’S
wednesday
Gallagher, 7:30 & 9:30
COBBS
Open Mic, 8
John Witherspoon, 7:30 & 9:30
PEPPERBELLYS
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Bill Burr, 7 & 9:30
TOMMY T’S
3.25
ROOSTER T’S
3.16
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
J.B. Smoove with Carla Clayy and Ali Wong, 8
TOMMY T’S
The Kims of Comedy, 7
Greg Fitzsimmons, Louis Katz and M. Dixon, 8 & 10
New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
Gabriel Iglesias, 5 & 7:30
ROOSTER T’S
Craig Shoemaker the Lovemaster
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Jimmy Pardo, 8
DGary Owen, Key Lewis and Justin McClure, 8:30 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
Comedy Showcase, 8
Anti-Cooperation League, 9
ROOSTER T’S
saturday
PEPPERBELLY’S
Dom Irrera, Steve mazan, Max Curry, 8 & 10
SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT
Brian Dunkleman, 7
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
Bobcat Goldthwait w/ John Ross, 8 & 10:30
Brain Kellen, 7:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
3.28
TOMMY T’S
Russell Peters, 8:30 & 10:30
PEPPERBELLYS
Black Boy
tuesday
PUNCHLINE SAN FRANCISCO Fags’n Hags w/ Nico Santos, 8
The Happy Holligans, 8 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
3.24
SAN JOSE IMPROV Kevin Pollak , 8 & 10 COBBS
Ralphie May, 8 & 10:15
Comedy All Stars w/ W. Kamal Bell Comedy Showcase, 8
Tommy T’s
Comedy Showcase, 8
MARAP? CALENDAR 4.1
wednesday
JAVA LOUNGE - THE SET LIST PRESENTS: THE FOOL’S OF APRIL COMEDY SHOW! 8 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Dov Davidoff, Kelly Pryce, Greg Edwards, 8 PEPPERBELLY’S Open Mic, 8 SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE Hump Day Show, 8 TOMMY T’S Comedy Showcase, 8 ROOSTER T’S New Talent Comedy Competition, 8 SAN JOSE IMPROV IMPROV Comedy Crashers, 8
4.2
4.4
saturday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED David Crow, 8 & 10:30
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
thursday
David Crow, 8
thursday
Frank Frangela, Larry “Bubbles” Brown, Ali Mafi 8:30 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Dov Davidoff, Kelly Pryce, Greg Edwards, 8 & 10
PEPPERBELLYS Henery Cho
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE Deja Wince - Liz Grant’s Show
TOMMY T’S
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
TOMMY T’S
Willie Barcena, Larry Omaha, Max Curry, 8:30
Robert Duchaine, 7:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
ROOSTER T’S
JTJ Miller, Nick Vatterott and Sean Keane, 8
TOMMY T’S
Jimmy Pardo, 7:15
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
Gabriel Iglesias, 5 & 7:30
Robert Duchaine, 7:30
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Three Dollar Thursdays, 8
COBBS
Far Easter 4 Featuring Dat Phan, KT Tatara, Randall Park & Ali Wong
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Matt Weinhold, 8 & 9:30
Johnny Sanchez, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV
COBBS
Chris Bliss, 7 & 9
COBBS
Far Easter 4 Featuring Dat Phan, KT Tatara, Randall Park & Ali Wong
4.5
4.10
sunday
friday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
4.13
monday
THE RAVINE
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
TOMMY T’S Open mic, 8
4.14
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT
TOMMY T’S
PEPPERBELLYS
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
ROOSTER T’S
TOMMY T’S
PEPPERBELLYS
Jim Sommers, 7:30
SAN JOSE IMPROV
ROOSTER T’S
TOMMY T’S
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
COBBS
SAN JOSE IMPROV
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
TOMMY T’S
COBBS
ROOSTER T’S
4.15
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
4.6
SAN JOSE IMPROV
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
Attack of the Asians , 8
Frank Frangela, Larry “Bubbles” Brown, Ali Mafi 8:30 Dov Davidoff, Kelly Pryce, Greg Edwards, 8 Three Dollar Thursdays, 8 Comedy Showcase, 8 Matt Weinhold, 8 Chris Bliss, 8
Anjelah Johnson, 8
4.3
friday
David Crow, 8 & 10:30
Frank Frangela, Larry “Bubbles” Brown, Ali Mafi 8:30 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Dov Davidoff, Kelly Pryce, Greg Edwards, 8 & 10
PEPPERBELLYS Henery Cho
SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT Anti-Cooperation League, 9
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Dana Gould with Jason Wheeler and Mike Capozzola, 8 & 10:30
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
David Crow, 8
Don Barnhart, 8 & 10:30
Frank Frangela, Larry “Bubbles” Brown, Ali Mafi 8:30
Willie Barcena, Larry Omaha, Max Curry, 8:30 & 10:30
SF Comedy Showcase, 8:00pm
Anti-Cooperation League, 9
Henery Cho
JT Miller, Nick Vatterott and Sean Keane, 8 & 10
TOMMY T’S
Eddie Griffin 7:30
Steve McGrew
THE RAVINE
Matt Weinhold, 8
Bobby Slayton, 7:30 & 9:30
Chris Bliss, 7
Scantily Clad Showcase, 9
Anjelah Johnson, 8
Michael Gelbart, 9
monday
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO THE RAVINE TOMMY T’S
Far Easter 4 Featuring Dat Phan, KT Tatara, Randall Park & Ali Wong
4.11
tuesday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
Anjelah Johnson, 8 & 10:15
PEPPERBELLYS Steve McGrew
TOMMY T’S
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
4.8
ROOSTER T’S
wednesday
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
Willie Barcena, Larry Omaha, Max Curry, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO JT Miller, Nick Vatterott and Sean Keane, 8
PEPPERBELLY’S Open Mic, 8
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE Hump Day Show, 8
TOMMY T’S
Robert Duchaine, 7:30
ROOSTER T’S
New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Big Al’s Big Ass Comedy Show, 8
Page 13 - The Set List - “A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap” - Mitch Hedburg
Hump Day Show, 8
Open mic, 8
JTJ Miller, Nick Vatterott and Sean Keane, 8 & 10
Tommy T’s
SF COMEDY COLLEGE CLUB HOUSE
TOMMY T’S
Deja Wince - Liz Grant’s Show, 7
COBBS
New Talent Comedy Competition, 8
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Comedy Showcase, 8
Chris Bliss, 8 & 10
ROOSTER T’S
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
Bobby Slayton, 7:30 & 9:30
SAN JOSE IMPROV
Jim Sommers, 7:30
Willie Barcena, Larry Omaha, Max Curry, 8:30 & 10:30
JT Miller, Nick Vatterott and Sean Keane, 8
Matt Weinhold, 8
wednesday
TOMMY T’S
THE RAVINE
Eddie Griffin 7:30 & 9:30
ROOSTER T’S
Open mic, 8
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
THE SET LIST PRESENTS : $5 SHOW FOR THE PEOPLE LOCAL SHOWCASE, 8
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Brent Weinbach, John Hoogasian and Moshe Kasher 8
Don Barnhart, 8 & 10:30
Oddly Americana Comedy Show, 8
TOMMY T’S
saturday
LAUGHS UNLIMITED
Open mic, 8
4.7
COBBS
tuesday
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
Johnny Sanchez, 8 & 10
Open mic, 8:30 / SIGN UP @ 8
Michael Gelbart, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV Johnny Sanchez, 7 & 9
COBBS
sunday
Stand-Up for Dan Crawford
Michael Gelbart, 8
ROOSTER T’S
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
ROOSTER T’S
Eddie Griffin 7:30 & 9:30
4.12
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Don Barnhart, 8
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO
Anjelah Johnson, 8 & 10:15
4.9
Far Easter 4 Featuring Dat Phan, KT Tatara, Randall Park & Ali Wong
PITHED OFF
“Only The Lonely Can Play”
by Cheese
I am an avid player of videogames and an utter nerd about it. I get into many a nerdy argument with other nerds about said games. If you are not a videogame nerd, then I hate you because you probably called me a faggot in highschool, well look at me now fuck face I write the articles and you read them so eat shit GREG. Anyway, since my first Nintendo sessions in the late 80’s, videogames have enabled me to do the following: stack blocks, jump on the heads of bipedal turtles while shooting fireballs, blow up skyscrapers, blow up space stations, blow up planets, create and boobytrap an evil lair (then blow it up), bludgeon alien crab things with a crowbar and, just recently, explode people’s heads in slo-mo like every 8 seconds. All of those past experiences were super awesome and remain super awesome today (except stacking blocks, which is bullshit). In real life however, I have accomplished exactly none of those things (except stacking blocks, which is bullshit) and, if I had, I would probably be a war criminal. For as long as I can remember, facilitating these experiences has been the sole domain and specialty of video game developers. That was all well and good and the games roundly satisfied my violent, megalomaniacal contempt for all living things. Then those same mass-marketing gurus who brought me People Murdering Eachother III: The Deathening tried to sell me People Loving Eachother IV: Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wah Edition. The unsolicited proposition forced me to look at them so sideways that I walked into a wall. See, sex in videogames isn’t just implied anymore, no siree. Nowadays, both hankey and pankey are bona fide features of a game’s design, complete with … well nothing. It’s exactly as lame and pointless as it sounds. A handful (zing!) of games allow the player to make the character that they are controlling go to bed with some other fictional character and then keep track of that event for later citation. Sometimes it’s a black screen with goofy faux-sex sound effects. Sometimes it’s a cut-scene that plays like a naughty Pixar movie. Sometimes its a picture of a woman and the declaration that you totally did her and should now high-five someone (except that you are, inevitably, alone). Off the top of my head, I can name Fable, The Witcher, Mass Effect, the Grand Theft Auto series and Custer’s Revenge as games with “sex” as an element of their gameplay. In all of them, I’d say it does about as much for depth and realism in games as it does for those same things in action movies: jack shit. Everyone just has to wait for the boring-ass romance to play out before we get back to Batman fighting the Joker as god intended. Or we get to squirm with nausea as Neo and Trinity make awkward mannequin rubbings before we get to the much more convincingly rendered flying squid-robots. It’s always the weakest part of the movie, it wastes time and it’s about as sexy as steel wool. Old steel wool. Wearing a muumuu. Made of steel wool. The theory behind this sudden influx of titillation is that make-believe-sex is the missing link between videogames and legitimacy as a pastime for adults. The problem with that theory certainly isn’t any kind of technological bottleneck. No one is myopic enough to say that videogame graphics will never be realistic enough to make a convincing stab at eroticism. Far from it; that Angelina Jolie character makes a very convincing woman. The problem is that it will always just feel superfluous and creepy, especially since it is all still ostensibly a “videogame” and not “porn.” Why creepy? Because you’re playing a game with the uncomfortable knowledge that the game’s creator was somewhat aroused by his creation and fully expects their work to arouse you too. Ugh. Not cool. When I realized I had discovered a func-
tioning whorehouse in the X-box game Fable, I felt like I had just sat down to interview J.R.R. Tolkien only to have him lean over the table and say “do you know what I find the sexiest in a woman?” Whoah there. I thought this was about... like... Orcs and shit. Sex in a videogame is basically the game designer suddenly wanting to tell you what turns him on and that’s really not the discussion I’m here to have, you sweaty neckbearded fark-reader. If I wanted to get all biblical with someone, I wouldn’t be pretending to be a Dwarf Shaman... though I guess I probably would still be pantsless. Sex is not sacrosanct, at least not to me, so I’d say go ahead and lampoon the whole practice. Same deal with human relationships and all the other hacky topics that hacky entertainers strip-mine for quasi-compelling content. What’s happening with the games here is not satire though. Nope, it’s all done with a straight face. Game companies are actually expecting to be taken seriously as a medium for grown-ups when their comprehensively-simulated fantasy world involves treating women like power-ups. Here’s a sadness exemplar: The modern computer game, The Witcher actually keeps track of your sexual (sexless) conquests (failures) with in-game trading cards depicting all the fictional women you’ve successfully pretended to bed. If that kind of puerile chauvinism strikes you as perfectly kosher then you must be one clownish, self-loathing misogynist, cause that shit is positively fizzucked. Furthermore, a reward system for non-interactive un-sex is pretty pointless. Last I checked, sex was its own reward and being told that you just had sex when you did not is just depressing. Also, what if we follow this proposal of pretend-sex as some groundbreaking new element in mainstream games to its logical conclusion? That would mean it would have to get closer and closer to simulating reality with every successive advance of technology, just like the fake violence and fake guitar-playing. This can only mean that sex in videogames will find itself in competition with pornography for the user’s arousal. The absurdity of that scenario aside, is that the kind of relationship you want to have with “people” on Xbox live? Would that be a welcome dimension to your already lurid relationship with Fable creator, Peter Molyneux? I thought not. For better or for worse, sex is exponentially more personal than.. say... commanding space marines to exterminate an entire race of giant, hissing insectoids. Thus, were this faux-sex to be as mainstream as fake-violence, the Freudian implications of which game you chose to play will become uncomfortably expository. Now, I’m not here to judge anyone, but I am here to ridicule, accuse and throw things at you from my high horse. So, I’ve explained why I think it’s so creepy but why would I say it’s superfluous? GEE I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED THAT, ADMIRAL COMPLETENESS. There is no real-world activity that is analogous to magically flash-freezing a live person and shattering them with your boot. It follows logically that doing so in a videogame is as close to that zenith of awesome as one may ever expect to be. It also follows that seeing such an occurrence on the videoscreen would be an acceptable reward for pulling off whatever button-pressing combination was involved. Sex however, in terms of its possibility in real life, is comparatively banal and, unless you’re reading this from a padded cell, no one necessarily has to die to make it happen. I love ice cream. I also love fillet mignon. I would, however, probably punch whoever put a scoop of Chunky Monkey on my goddamn steak. That’s the kind of clash that’s happening here; the two incompatible elements ruin each other like Prince and the Superbowl. So, attempts at sexual titillation in video games always fall into two categories: Embarrassing and stupid. Attempting to cultivate an image of maturity and sophistication while at the same time giving your id exclusive creative control over how we represent women is just forehead-slappingly stupid. Playing a game where you are declared to have had sex with someone by pressing the “seduce” button is suicidally embarrassing. To clarify: I’m not taking an “antisexiness” stance; I’m taking an “anti-stupid-bullshit” stance. I am taking this stance, of course, while pretending to be a ninja who freezes things with magic.
Page 14 - The Set List - “My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?.” - Henny Youngmen.
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THE FOOLS of APRIL COMEDY SHOWCASE @ The Java Lounge 16th and Broadway
APRIL 7th
The $5 Show for the people local open mic
@ Laughs Unlimited old sacramento
presented by
THE SET LIST hooking you up with best $5 shows in sacramento you’re welcome.
Page 15 - The Set List - “My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?.” - Henny Youngmen.
THE NEW FUNNIES BADLY DRAWN ROBOTS by Cheese
POQUITO BURRITO by John Ross
JOSH AND NADIE FOREVER by S.L.
Page 16 - The Set List - “He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites..” - Emo Phillips
emphasis on new...and funnies
HAPPY VALLEY by Jesse Jones
Sacramento
COMEDY SPOT 1617 Broadway, Sacramento, CA 95818 (916) 402-4757
SHOWS EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY
Featuring Long Form Improv Group Anti-Cooperation League
GETTING OLD FAST
by Ray Molina
Chicken Pudding by Jason Long
CLASSES AVAILABLE IN:
Improv, Sketch and Stand Up REGISTER NOW!
CHECK CURRENT SHOW AND CLASS SCHEDULES @
www.saccomedyspot.com Page 17 - The Set List - “Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. ” - Jonathan Katz
Rob Cantrell began his comedy career in San Francisco and quickly rose to national prominence as a top 10 finalist on the first season of NBC’s Last Comic Standing. Rob now lives in New York City and tours all over the country. He has headlined the High Times Comedy Festival, toured with the Marijuana-Logues, and has appeared on Comedy Central, the Late Late Show on CBS, and VH-1. On March 17th & 18th, Rob is very excited to record his first comedy album in the city where he got his start.
SF: What did you know about Last
Comic Standing when you auditioned for the first season? Did you have any idea it could give you as much exposure as it did?
Rob Cantrell: Not much. I had
no idea. The show was something that I heard about through word of mouth. I had the day off. When I showed up there was a big line of comics. There was no stand-up on prime time TV. It was a huge amount of exposure. I remember the ratings really surprised the network. One day I was opening for Todd Barry in Sacramento, then 3 months later I was on prime time TV, taking meetings in LA and doing a ton of shows.
SF:
What was the comedy scene like in the Bay Area when you started in ‘99? Who are some of the comics you started with?
RC:
It was cool. I mostly did coffee shops my first two years in comedy and then the Sunday night at the Punchline. There was Cobb’s and the Punch plus a bunch of other independent shows. There was a circuit of coffee shops, bars and theaters. I would walk, Muni, bum rides around with John Hoogasian, Mike Spiegelman and Dan Crawford. I moved to SF in July 1999 from DC. I did my first stand-up set at an open mic at an art gallery on Market Street called the Luggage Store hosted by Tony
Sparks. There was no microphone and there were homeless junkies in the crowd that would blurt random shit out. Crazy artwork on the wall, there was some wild shit hanging. During your set there would be a picture of a Jesus with a machine gun and an erection. I have never tried crack or angel dust, but my sets there felt like a combination of the two (Addictive and mind blowing). I lived in a semi-abandoned building behind a hostel called The Green Tortoise in North Beach. My first two years in standup I worked the front desk at the Green Tortoise, the graveyard shift: 12:30 am - 7 am. I got free rent at the illegal building that they rented for employees. The reason I worked there was because it was 3 blocks from The Punchline Comedy Club. The Punchline was owned by Bill Graham Presents. I got my first week of paid work there in 2001. I started to work at the Punchline opening shows for Attell, Hedberg and Lewis Black. Then I moved out of the hostel and got a couch in the Sunset District. That was nice. I was a block away from the beach and worked at a school over in the Richmond District. Then I went on my Last Comic audition and within 6 months moved to LA.
RC: I listen to everything and in no or-
der. Lots of old school rap, the older the better. Grandmaster Flash, Eric B, Run DMC, and EPMD. I also like The Cool Kids, NERD, Kanye, MF DOOM, Dip Set, Nas, The Roots and Z-Trip. I enjoy good beats. Rock: Clutch, Fu Manchu, Fugazi, Melvins, C.O.C. I’ve been listening to lots of LIONIZE (upcoming reggae band from Maryland that I have done shows with). Classics: Stones, Beatles, Zeppelin, Al Green, CCR, and Pink Floyd.
SF: I like the different song intros in the
“Rob’s Recession Tips” episodes- are you a big music fan? What have you been listening to lately?
Page 18 - The Set List - “Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.” - Bill Hicks
SF:
What are you doing to prepare for your CD taping shows at The Punchline?
RC:
I have been performing at all types of venues and shows- alternative, comedy clubs, the UCB and some late night urban shows. It has been fun going over my material and fitting the different stuff that I do together. I have been going hard for almost 10 years and feel that there is something special I need to get out. I want the album to connect with the listener, have a real feel, and not just saying material.
L I S T I N G S LAUGHS UNLIMITED 1207 Front St. Old Sacramento, CA 916-446-8128 www.laughsunlimited.com PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO 2100 Arden Way Sacramento, CA 916-925-8500 SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT 1716 Broadway Sacramento, CA 916-402-4757 www.saccomedyspot.com 1/20 - 2/18 We dated in high school. I was kind of a jerk. I threw away your shirt because I thought it looked ugly on you. I’m sorry. I was dumb to think it was the shirt.
2/19 - 3/20 Astrology is real, but I’m afraid that you Pisces, are completely made up.
3/21 - 4/19 In your backyard, between the garbage can and the wall, there is a spider-web. In the spider-web a fly has been caught. Tied to that fly is a tiny piece of paper. DO NOT READ THIS PAPER.
4/20 - 5/20 He may be broke but look at the size of those hands, those big empty moneyless hands. Don’t worry if that’s shallow, he’s not exactly interested in your personality either.
5/21 - 6-21 Stop looking on craigslist’s missed connections, she only smiled at you out of fear.
6/22 - 7-22 Check your watch, your about to get a parking ticket. This month you have a lot on your plate, and if everything doesn’t go exactly as planned, don’t stress out. Take one thing at a time and be careful what you leave behind, if worse comes to worst, just plead insanity.
7/23 - 8/22 The sky is blue and the sun is shining, finish up those old unfinished projects and start new ones, today is a great day to be unemployed.
8/23 - 9/22 So you finally told that special someone how you felt, good job. Although, if you haven’t, look at this as perfect oppotunity to tell someone you actually did have a chance with... her best friend. Maybe she isn’t as attractive, but it will be a lot easier to get her into bed.
9/23 - 10/22 People think you are arrogant, but you’re not cocky, you’re just confident. You’re confident that your better than everyone else.
Page 19 - The Set List - “I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.” - Johnny Carson.
10/23 - 11/21 You’ve got a lot of really great traits. You’re strong willed and intelligent. Your sense of style is impeccable. You’ve got a lot of great friends, loved ones, and heart (disease)
11/22 - 12/21 Don’t let people say bad things about your pookashell necklace. Your style can’t be tied down by space or time, specifically the 1990’s.
PEPPER BELLY’S 849 Texas Street Fairfield, CA 94533 (707) 422-SHOW www.pepperbellys.com COBBS COMEDY CLUB 915 Columbus Ave San Francisco, CA 94133 (415) 928-4320 www.cobbscomedyclub.com PUNCH LINE SF 444 Battery Street San Francisco, CA 94111 (415) 397-7573 TOMMY T’s 5104 Hopyard Road Pleasanton, CA 94588 (925) 227-1800 www.tommyts.com ROOSTER T. FEATHERS 157 W. El Camino Real Sunnyvale, CA 94087 (408) 736-0921 www. roostertfeathers.com
12/22 - 1/19 You will definitely read your horoscope this month.
SAN JOSE IMPROV 62 South Second Street San Jose, CA 95150 (408) 280-7475 www.improv.com