Davis Councilwoman NOVEMBER 2016
creating legacy of excellence Pg. 8
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THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
CONTENTS 6 JULIE MANSFIELD
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AND HER FANTASY LIFE
TEAM SISTERHOOD MICHELLE HOLLINGER Publisher and Editorial Director CATHY CHARLES Senior Graphic Designer and Illustrator
WOMEN’S FILM FEST CELEBRATES WOMEN
ALEXANDRA HARRIS Staff Photographer STEPHANIE HARRIS Contributing Writer C O N TA C T : sisterhoodnewsmag.com 305-924-5773
8 MIAMI GARDENS FOOD AND WINE EXPERIENCE
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S.O.S COUNCIL: The Decision
Use color psychology to create sacred spaces at home
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Introvert? Travel authentically and stress-free
Copyright © 2016 HOLLINGER PUBLICATIONS Volume 1, Issue 4 THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
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PUBLISHER’S MESSAGE
The beaut y of surrender MICHELLE@SISTERHOODNEWSMAG.COM @MSMHOLLINGER
This is one of those editions that started out in one direction but was divinely guided to something different. Because I’ve learned the beauty of surrendering to GDS – God’s Divine Strategy – I, of course, went with the flow.
The initial focus was women in leadership as we excitedly anticipate the possibility of Hillary Rodham Clinton becoming the first woman president. (She’s still gracing our inaugural print edition.) Building on that idea led me to reach out to local women in leadership positions, so naturally I had to contact powerhouse Teri Williams, president of OneUnited Bank. What she had to say was so amazing, I decided to table her article and expand it into a more deserving cover story for December’s Women and Wealth edition. That issue of The Sisterhood will be extremely powerful because we’re going deep into what it takes for women to not only improve the way we interact with money, but to transform our internal wealth compass so that we prosper like never before. Be sure to pick up our December issue! What emerged for this, our November issue, is a wonderful array of women who have surrendered to their
divine calling and are busy living lives full of passion, purpose and authenticity. I’m talking about women like the utterly amazing Julie Mansfield who has mastered the art of marching to her own fabulous beat. Read about why she helps people who have been sexually abused regain their dignity, how she navigates fear and about the fabulous life she’s living with her “fantasy man,” famed French chef, Claude Postel.
Another woman who has surrendered to her divine calling is Yvonne McCormack-Lyons, founder and CEO of the Women’s International Film & Arts Festival, which is celebrating its 11th year right here in our own backyard. McCormack-Lyons started the South Florida-based festival to do her part in correcting the dismal representation of women behind the scenes in the film industry. The numbers are still too low (9% of movie directors in 2015 were women), so she’s as determined as ever to shine a spotlight on movies made by and about women. The festival runs from Nov. 3rd through the 6th and has something for everyone. And last by not least, Miami Gardens Councilwoman
Lisa C. Davis got the call to create the Miami Gardens Food and Wine Experience four years ago but wisely listened to her instincts to wait. Waiting certainly paid off. Now in its second year, last year’s experience surpassed Davis’ expectations and she’s anticipating another phenomenal event this year when she’s joined by celebrity chefs G. Garvin and Marcus Samuelsson on Nov. 12th for a night to remember. Davis says she lets her relationship with God guide her and by doing so, success is guaranteed. God is certainly the guide for each and every issue of The Sisterhood. I was drawn to writing about women surrendering to their divine calling because it’s what The Sisterhood represents for me – a divine surrender to God to be the channel through which an elevated version of sisterhood is celebrated. Collaboration instead of competition, having each other’s backs, connecting at the soul level and genuinely cheering each other on is increasingly becoming the order of the day. I’m beyond thrilled about what’s manifesting and thank each of you for taking this divine journey with me.
Michelle
In sisterhood,
7 PRINCIPLES of an active S.O.S.
• All women have an S.O.S. that is either active or inactive. • The only way to activate your S.O.S. is to spend time in the silence, daily.
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• Self-forgiveness elevates an active S.O.S. • Paying attention to thoughts and words is imperative to maintaining an active S.O.S. • Gratitude helps an active S.O.S. thrive. THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
• An active S.O.S. points the way to inner splendor, which reveals life purpose. • An active S.O.S. impacts a woman’s sisterhood exchanges with other women
Women’s film fest celebrates women behind the scenes
By MICHELLE HOLLINGER Going to the movies is as American as apple pie; only it’s not strictly an American thing. The U.S is the third largest film market in the world in terms of tickets sold per year; coming in behind China and India. More than 1.2 billion movie tickets were sold in the U.S. in 2015. There are about 5,800 cinema sites in the U.S. as of 2015. The numbers as it relates to women working behind the scenes in the film industry are far less robust; which is why organizations like the Women’s International Film and Arts Festival exist. In 2015, women accounted for nine percent of directors, up two percentage points from 2014 but even with the figure from 1998. In other roles, women comprised 11 percent of writers, 26 percent of producers, 20 percent of executive producers, 22 percent of editors, and six percent of cinematographers.
In it, Nina Thomas, a flight attendant is deeply in love with her boyfriend, Roman, who has proposed twelve times in their twelve year relationship. Each time she has politely rejected his offer, however, when she fears losing him, she finally agrees to marriage. Thing is, Roman is also the only man Nina has been with sexually and her best friend Tammy believes she’s making the biggest mistake of her life to marry him without experiencing the pleasure of another man. It’s an idea Nina rejects until she has a long layover in Los Angeles and meets the handsome Quincy, to whom she finds herself attracted. For more information on this and other screenings, visit womensfilmfest.com or email info@womensfilmfest.com .
WIFF has as its focus celebrating films by and/or about women. Celebrating its 11th year, the festival, founded and run by film diva, Yvonne McCormack-Lyons is scheduled for Nov. 3rd through 6th and will return to its original stomping grounds, the eclectic, film-festival suited Coconut Grove. One of the films screening at this year’s festival is the romantic comedy, No Regrets, starring Monica Callhoon, Brian White, Amin Joseph, Sharon Leal, Elise Neal, Caryn Ward Ross and Loretta Devine. No Regrets was directed by Mark Harris and produced by Dan Garcia, Jackie Christie, Maddy Garcia, Veronica Rodriguez, Honesty Edwards.
Loretta Divine and Monica Calhoun in a scene from No Regrets.
Women’s International Film & Arts Festival an annual celebration of women filmmakers and films about women.
Mark your calendars for this year’s festival,
happening Nov. 3 – 6.
Learn more at womensfilmfest.com THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
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Julie Mansfield
and her fantasy life BY MICHELLE HOLLINGER Julie Mansfield is a breath of fresh air. Spunky, classy, hilarious and supportive of all things woman; the petite beauty with chiseled cheekbones and radiant eyes welcomes you into her space with that magnetic smile. The space earlier this month was Café Crème at 750 NE 125th Street in North Miami; the new bistro/ deli her life partner, celebrated French chef Claude Postel, and she opened at the request of City of North Miami officials; creating for her a delicious full circle moment. Hoping he’ll replicate the success of the hugely successful Buena Vista Bistro (4582 NE 2nd Ave), the city forked over a $250,000 grant for Postel, co-owner Corentin Finot, Mansfield and their team to work magic.
As we chatted amidst the revelry floating throughout the packed restaurant during the launch party, Mansfield shared her journey from answering an ad in the newspaper and becoming North Miami’s first public information officer to returning to the city with the love of her life. Between then and now, she’s done a tremendous amount of healing; necessary for rescuing herself and recapturing joy stolen by the uncles who sexually assaulted her when she was a little girl growing up in Jamaica. She can say assuredly now, “I ain’t broken,” while describing the importance of sexual abuse survivors seeking help from a therapist who can help them also arrive at that realization. A significant aspect of her reality is a loving seven+ year relationship with Postel, whom she calls her fantasy man. Her admiration for what he’s done is evident when she explains how he created the successful Buena Vista Bistro in an area of Miami no one wanted to touch. “It was like the field of dreams,” Mansfield shared. “If you build it, they will come. He built it and they came.” Of their newest venture, she said Café Crème will have a lounge, and when the full liquor license is acquired, a happy hour because she says jokingly, “you can’t be my friend if you don’t drink.” It was a dear friend, local attorney Marlon Hill, who helped her figure out her next move several years ago following a stint as a PR entrepreneur and the cultural arts director for the city of Miami. “I sat with Marlon and said, ‘I’m lost. I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”’ After explaining to Hill her reaction upon seeing her first homeless woman years earlier, (she wondered what the woman did when she’s having her period); Hill pinpointed her underlying vision. ‘You want to give people dignity,’ she recalls him saying.
Julie Mansfield and Claude Postel
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Simultaneously, Mansfield was beginning to confront her own issues with childhood sexual abuse and “became an unwitting advocate for those who, for whatever reason, could not acknowledge their abuse.” The result? Give me Dignity, a non-profit organization she
THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
Café Crème black angus burger with brie cheese and caramelized onions
founded to help restore dignity to child sexual abuse victims. She chronicles her childhood violations and ongoing healing in her book, Maybe God Was Busy, published in 2013. Her own healing journey after carrying her uncles’ “shame of abusing me for decades” qualifies her to challenge the black community regarding its silence about incest. “For the black community,” she said, “We want to pretend it’s not happening. We want to pray it away.” She points out, however, “While we PRAY, predators PREY.” As it relates to women healing from childhood trauma, Mansfield strongly recommends therapy. “There ain’t nothing wrong with going and getting help. Recognizing this is what I need to heal, taking proactive steps. Don’t sit back and wallow in pain and self-pity and doubt and all the stuff that comes with it. I’m living proof that with therapy you can heal, you can overcome and you can advocate. I don’t believe in doing well by myself, I’ve got to lift someone else up.”
Congratulations to the
Sisterhood
Strawberry tart
She admits her healing is ongoing and something she takes seriously. Despite the palpable freedom she exudes, Mansfield says she, too, must navigate fear when it rears its head from time to time. “Fear is that dog that’s nipping at the ankle and I’ve had it for years and years. It manifests in different ways, forms. Questioning am I good enough,” she shared. She’s big on protecting the eight-year old girl within her who was unsafe growing up. “I talk to my younger self. I have a conversation in the mirror with my younger self. All the things that I couldn’t prevent from happening to her, I vow to do now,” she said. Introspection and examining the feelings behind certain behavior, she added, is also essential to healing. Understanding why she becomes “a raging lunatic” whenever she’s stuck in traffic, is an example of excavating, probing behind the behavior in order
to change it. Her therapist urged her to identify the feeling behind the rage. “The first time I felt that way was my uncle lying on top of me trying to rape me, feeling of loss of control, loss of, oh my God, there’s nothing I can do about this, feeling trapped,” she explained. “So now when I’m in traffic and it’s stuck and I feel that feeling coming on, I literally say, this is not your uncle. This is nothing but a few cars and it works because it decompresses. I had to learn what I was really angry about.” Her childhood also offers clues to how she and Claude, whom she met on a blind date, have managed to create “an amazing ride.” To escape the trauma, she “always had my imaginary life I created; an alternate world, a fantasy guy. He is that fantasy guy. The way he looks at me, the way he treats my kids,” her voice trails off behind that smile.
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Creating legacy of excellence
The idea came to her four years ago but the timing, she realized, wasn’t right, so Miami Gardens Councilwoman Lisa C. Davis waited until her intuition moved her to act. Her waiting paid off because the launch of The Miami Gardens Food and Wine Experience last year was a huge hit; rainy weather notwithstanding.
This year’s event, scheduled for Nov. 12 at Calder Race Track, is poised to be even better.
“When it was time, everything fell into place and it came together,” Davis said. “I wanted to do something different, something unusual.”
Different and unusual accurately describe the event that showcases talented local chefs while treating guests to a fusion of great music, great food, great wine and celebrities.
“I wanted mine to be an experience,” Davis said of the event that has been compared to Art Basel. Not bad for a debut. “It was just amazing (last year) and I’m excited about what’s going to happen (this year).”
Davis’ spirituality guided her. “I have to say, everything I do, I go to God first. I could do nothing without Him.”
Her staunch belief in the “season, purpose and plans that the good Lord has for you” helped her land two of the hottest chefs on the planet, G. Garvin and Marcus Samuelsson for this year’s MGFWE.
“I’m a foodie, to just get them to come aboard, for our city and community,” is quite a coup.
Davis’ love for Miami Gardens is palpable. She said being able to serve in the city where she was born and raised is a blessing.
“The city of Miami Gardens is a great city. We are growing. We are developing. There are new hotels, restaurants, retails that are coming in. We are building this city,” she added.
The MGFWE provides a wonderful bookend for the other event Miami Gardens has become known for – Jazz in the Gardens, which brings thousands of music fans to the city each March.
“I love Jazz in the Gardens. We have something in the beginning of the year and we have something in the end of the year,” she said of the MGWFE. In addition to being an elegant, sophisticated affair where everyone is “looking their best, feeling their best,” the event also raises funds for charities selected by Davis. This year Grandparents raising Grandchildren and Juvenile Diabetes were choses to receive a portion of the proceeds from the event, which will be hosted by Miami’s own Jill Tracey and Lammon Rucker from the OWN hit, Greenleaf.
Aside from being a classy event that also raises money for charities, Davis sees MGWFE as a “legacy event.” “This is not just for me this is for our children and grandchildren.”
The 2016 Miami Gardens Food and Wine Experience happens on Nov. 12 from 7 p.m. to 12 midnight at Calder Casino, 21001 Northwest 27th Avenue in Miami Gardens.
To purchase tickets, visit https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2016-miamigardens-wine-food-experience-at-calder-casino-tickets-25783226324.
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T he S.O.S Council An unfolding novel
The Decision
BY MICHELLE HOLLINGER
the longest two weeks of her life.
Shelby’s choice centered on safety. While her mind said being able to avoid blows from a man’s fist was vital, her soul asserted freedom from physical violence was not the primary kind of protection she craved. Even though her father was her first example, Shelby still did not realize men who resort to hitting the women they profess to love are broken themselves, the weakest among their species. They can neither refrain from physical violence nor the mental, emotional and spiritual brutality that’s also included in their twisted arsenal of dysfunction.
And following what seemed a lifetime of tiptoeing through her own existence for fear of awakening inexplicable anger in a partner she thought loved her, Shelby sought refuge in Nod. She ignored the red flags; certain she could love his flaws away. Cooking what he wanted when he wanted it, folding clothes as soon as they came out of the dryer, cutting out phone time when he was home and sensing with mastery when he wanted sex became second nature. When the part-time position at the call center was posted, she jumped at it. Nod said he wanted her home more and would pay all the bills, so why not leave the full-time job that she actually loved for something that would allow her to build a family with the man she loved?
Her soul knew but her mind had grasped neither that truth nor the more elusive truth that what she desired more than anything else was the freedom to be who she really is and loved for it; to be cherished completely and adored without conditions. She had no idea why she went from one fist to another, attached to different arms, different demands, different lives with her as the common denominator. The series of abusive relationships left her leery that anyone capable of loving her could possibly exist. She only knew she wanted to fill the emptiness, to feel something other than the emptiness, to fulfill the ache that emerged from the emptiness whenever she had no one to take care of. Nod, she thought, was her promise. He showed up out of the blue talking about wanting to love a woman and be there for her so convincingly that Shelby’s self-imposed solitude, the brief relationship hiatus she promised herself would last 90 days ended after a measly 15 that felt like
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When an entire year went by without so much as a shove, she was convinced Nod was the one. He’d raised his voice and said things to make her question herself, but he never hit her. Until the trip to New Orleans. She didn’t even see the man Nod accused her of flirting with because she was so engrossed in the freedom that oozed from the man’s wife. The way she walked, talked, sat with perfect posture in that stunning orange sun dress, large silver hoops and giant afro turned heads. Shelby turned her head not to stare at the woman’s undeniable beauty but to bask in her free flowing liberty and the man who seemed so proud to accompany it. “Why don’t you just go over there and suck his dick,” Nod whispered in her ear, snap-
ping her out from the daydream where she and her imaginary BFF were traveling together on a girls’ road trip, shopping at all the hippest boutiques and enjoying brunches that overflowed with laughter and non-stop mimosas. The backhand across her mouth landed before she could question his outlandish query and proclaim her innocence. More embarrassed than injured, Shelby quickly placed a napkin to her bleeding lip and blinked back tears that spilled anyway. Feeling the eyes of the restaurant’s diners on her, she stood before he could yank her up, nausea rising and spewing forth onto their table of half eaten Barbecue Shrimp and Pasta Jambalaya. “Can’t take you nowhere,” Nod grimaced, grabbing her arm so forcefully she lost her balance and landed face first in the vomit. Their waiter rushed to assist her while Nod walked away, leaving her there to reassure the young man and his manager that she was fine and calling the police was unnecessary. When her BFF with the afro came over with a wet napkin and proceeded to wipe the vomit from her face, emotions she did not know existed rushed forth as Shelby collapsed into the chair trying in vain to stifle the deep sobs escaping her body. BFF’s husband stood silently behind her. “Sister, you don’t deserve this. Come with me and my husband and we’ll make sure you are safe,” BFF said with so much love in her eyes Shelby could barely maintain contact with them. Nod suddenly appeared in Shelby’s peripheral vision and the ‘thank
THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
you’ rising from her heart lost its way in the fear strangling her vocal cords. She rushed from the restaurant, past Nod and into their rental Ford. He got in after her, started the car and drove slowly down Royal Street, ironic because she felt the complete opposite. Shelby attempted to silence the bubbling grief overtaking her, pushing through in halting, closed-mouthed huffs like a child who’s been warned to stop crying but can’t. Life as she knew it was over. All of her preventive skills that held Nod’s truth at bay were for naught, she realizes, and the reality of her powerlessness is overwhelming. “Shut the fuck up,” he said without looking at her. Shelby’s emotions were all over the place – questioning what she did to bring it on, feeling stupid she didn’t see it coming and wondering what the hell “it” was. When she didn’t stifle the nearly inaudible sobs to his satisfaction, Nod sped up into a parking lot, said he’d “give her something to cry for,” then grabbed her left arm with one hand while punching it with the other, repeatedly, harder and harder until they heard, and she felt, the crack. “Now look what you made me do,” Nod said in response to her obviously broken arm. EDITOR’S NOTE: The S.O.S. Council is an unfolding novel being written by Michelle Hollinger. Each month, a new chapter will be included in The Sisterhood, culminating with the conclusion, which is yet to be determined
Help for abusive relationships
In The S.O.S. Council, Shelby’s experiences with domestic violence are purely fictional. Unfortunately, far too women (primarily) deal with this very serious issue in their real lives on a regular basis. From the outside looking it, it is sometimes simplified to the mental, verbal and physical violence inflicted upon a person by an intimate partner, however; in reality, domestic violence is far more complex and complicated and will only be eradicated when both the victim and the abuser are healed. If DV intervention does not include rehabilitative guidance aimed at changing his behavior, he simply moves on to another victim; perpetuating a cycle of abuse snaring women and children in its grasp. The Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence provides access to Florida’s 42 domestic violence centers, depending on where a battered woman resides. Read on to learn more. Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence The mission of the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence (FCADV) is to create a violence free world by empowering women and children through the elimination of personal and institutional violence and oppression against all people. FCADV provides leadership, advocacy, education, training, technical assistance, public policy
and development, and support to domestic violence center programs. FCADV operates Florida’s toll-free domestic violence hotline (1-800-500-1119), linking callers to the nearest domestic violence center and provides translation assistance when needed. In addition, FCADV maintains a resource library of books, periodicals, and videos regarding domestic violence issues. FCADV has also developed posters, brochures, safety plans, and other resources. Batterers Intervention Program While the Batterers Intervention Program (BIP) is available after a man has been charged with DV, the BIP program in Broward is also open to men seeking assistance voluntarily. It meets every Thursday and Saturday for men with Domestic Violence charges or for those who wish to attend voluntary. CMET is a DCF approved BIP provider and offers sliding scale fees. Curriculum used is evidence based and the main objectives are: - Victims’ Safety - Definition of Domestic Violence - Dynamics of Power & Control - Socialization and Gender Roles - Batterer’s responsibility for past/future behaviors - Substance Abuse & Domestic Violence relationship - Challenging beliefs - Non-violence alternatives. Groups are offered in English, Spanish and Creole. Call 954-828-0961 for more information.
“Sister Michelle awe-inspiring; truth to power; bold and fearless; contagious; connecting us and upping sisterhood to a whole new
THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
level; proud of you!”
-Sandy Sears
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Congratulations
“Sisterhood is empowering, supportive, and important. Our tribe is a diverse sisterhood exemplified in the many ages, shapes, colors, and textures of our physical selves. With sisterhood, we can manifest love, respect, and empowered femininity within our communities.� Representative Dorothy Bendross-Mindingall Miami-Dade School Board, District 2
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THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
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Use color psychology to create sacred spaces at home
(BPT) — Do you ever wonder why you feel immediately relaxed when you enter a spa, yet when you enter a gym, you feel alert and energized? The answer can be found in the colors selected to decorate the space. “Interior designers use color psychology to evoke an emotional response,” says Sue Wadden, director of color marketing for Sherwin-Williams. “Homeowners can use this strategy to connect colors with emotions and memories to create oneof-a-kind spaces.” Color psychology starts by exploring warm and cool hues and then using these different tones to manipulate mood throughout your home. It’s easy to do with the tips below. Warm color families Red, orange and yellow are considered warm colors since they are associated with images of heat, like fire or sunshine. Warm families of color are bold and powerful when incorporated into home design. Yellows Because yellow reflects light, it’s an excellent choice for foyers and dark hallways. Its cheery nature has the ability to create an uplifting mood in homes. Rich
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yellows are great accent colors because they catch the eye. A great color to consider is Wadden’s favorite: Butterscotch SW 6377. “This color isn’t for the faint of heart,” she says. “The color features an acidy, deep mustard feel but is a great accent color paired with neutrals. I find its pop can really spark up a room.” Reds Reds evoke feelings of passion, energy and intimacy, so it’s an excellent color for workout rooms and master bedrooms. Red also inspires the appetite, so is a logical choice for dining rooms or kitchens. Michael Plank, director of color marketing and design services for Sherwin-Williams, enjoys Chinese Red SW0057. “Chinese Red is one of my perennial favorites to play off dark stains with its saturated and sophisticated nature,” he says. “Rich in hue as it is in Chinese culture; the harbinger of joy and fortune.” Oranges Orange has a friendly attitude that awakens and welcomes. Never understated, orange works well in family rooms and is a playful choice for children’s bedrooms or bonus rooms. Or-
ange tones can also integrate into other colors, such as Coral Reef SW6606. “Ever since I was little I had a love affair with orange,” says Wadden. “I painted my daughter’s room Coral Reef. I love the rich complexity of the color.” Cool color families Blue, green and violet are considered cool colors because the inherent tones of each shade. Reminiscent of water and the outdoors, cool colors stimulate feelings of peace and tranquility, and are great options for bedrooms, bathrooms and patio spaces. Blues Blue is soothing and elicits feelings of relaxation, which is perfect for bedrooms and bathrooms. Alternatively, blues should be kept out of the kitchen because it’s a color that’s associated with appetite suppression. “I love cool greenish blues,” says Plank. “Blue Sky 0063 is from our historic palette and is a calming hue that works in virtually every room.” Greens Green tones provide a feeling of familiarity because they are found throughout
THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
nature. Light greens are ideal for living rooms and offices; dark greens are wonderfully rich as accent colors. Vivid greens add unexpected pop, notes Sherwin-Williams Senior designer Karrie Hodge, who likes Marea Baja SW 9185. “I really like dark colors and this color reminds me of the deep turquoise part of the ocean,” she says. “This would make a great front door color on a white or gray colored house. This color would pair well with some natural stone or brick or wood.” Violets Purple tones are immediately attractive to children, making them a great paint option in playrooms or bonus rooms. Additionally, violet is also a stunning accent color in bathrooms. When it comes to the violet family of colors, Hodge likes the versatility of Veri Berri SW 9069. “It’s a rich berry tone that is playful,” she says. “This would make a really dramatic accent wall color in any room; I could even see this as a really fresh front door color.” For more color inspiration and to learn more about warm and cool colors, visit www.sherwin-williams.com.
Introvert? Travel authentically and stress-free (BPT) - If you’re an introvert, traveling can be a challenge. Being introverted can increase the anxiety you feel when engaging in already-stressful business travel, and undermine your enjoyment of a leisure trip. Being forced to sit next to and even socialize with numerous other people, many of them strangers, can be torture for introverts. “Introverts aren’t necessarily loners or even shy,” says Jim Menge, president of Rovia, an award-winning travel services provider. “They’re just more bothered by travel hassles like crowds, intense together time, and interacting with strangers. It’s important for introverted travelers and their traveling companions to plan an itinerary that will make the trip as stress-free and enjoyable as possible for everyone.” Reserved, not shy About 50 percent of the population are introverts, according to Psychology Today. And while stereotypes may portray introverts as shy, socially phobic loners, that’s not at all who they are. “Introverts are drained by social encounters and energized by solitary, often creative pursuits,” the online journal explains. “Many introverts socialize easily; they just strongly prefer not to.” Your introversion may make you think a group travel experience would never be for you; you’ll stick to taking trips with your core family members and friends. Yet with the right itinerary, introverted travelers can find the perfect balance of alone-time and group activities, whether they’re traveling for business or pleasure. Travel tips Menge offers these tips for introverted travelers and the traveling companions who love them: * Talk about your plans with your travel companions, especially if you’ll be touring with extroverts. It’s important everyone discusses what they can do to make the trip as enjoyable as possible for everyone. * Consider how comfortable you are with stretching your limits. “Each person is unique and has their own level of comfort with pushing themselves to try new experiences,” Menge says. “Think about what you’re comfortable with.” For example, learning and using a few foreign phrases, or talking with one person outside the tour group can be a low-stress triumph. * Many introverts are energized by creative and meaningful pursuits. If that describes you, voluntourism may be a great group travel option. Voluntourism is vacation travel with a volunteering component, and it allows you to have meaningful interaction with both locals and fellow travelers that goes beyond the small talk you may dread. Voluntour itineraries like those offered by WorldVentures balance work and relaxation, and volunteer projects can
last from a single day to several weeks. One day of your trip, you may work with others to build a school, and the next day have free time to explore the sights and sounds of the destination. * Allow yourself adequate free time to get away from the group by yourself (if safe to do so) or with a handful of close loved ones. That away time will allow you to recharge so you’re more relaxed when you rejoin the larger group. * Look for accommodations that won’t force you into social situations. For example, a B&B, where dining is communal, might be an uncomfortable environment for an introverted traveler, while a larger hotel may allow for more anonymity and independence. * Choose activities that allow you to enjoy “me-time,” even if you’re with others. For example, a hike on a scenic and moderate to strenuous trail will allow for more quiet time - even in a larger group. Everyone will be concentrating on walking carefully and breathing, rather than on socializing. * Use technology to give yourself alone time when you can’t physically get away from others. Wearing headphones or using an e-reader can silently alert your travel companions that you need some time to yourself. “You’re not being rude, you’re just doing what you need to do to recharge,” Menge says. “It’s perfectly OK to do what you need to do in order to maximize your enjoyment of your trip.” You can learn more about voluntourism and group travel opportunities that will please both introverts and extroverts at www.dreamtrips.com. THE SISTER HOOD | NOV EMBER 2016
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