vvvvvv
S U N D AY, F E B R U A RY 1 9 , 2 0 1 2
†
Catch Stowe on ABC’s Revenge, Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET
Lifestyles of
THE RICH C&C TREACHEROUS THE NIGHTTIME SOAP IS BACK
(and Madeleine Stowe is its new queen of mean) © PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
Personality Walter Scott,s
PARADE
Parade.com/celebrity
WALTER SCOTT ASKS …
Dee Snider
—Anonymous, Calif.
A: The host of CNN’s Starting Point (weekdays, 7 a.m. ET) is also a busy mom of four. “I’m blessed with an amazing husband, who picks up a lot of the slack, and I try to enjoy uninterrupted family time when I can,” says O’Brien, 45, who sometimes takes her brood on assignment with her. “We try to embrace the chaos.”
P War Horse
Q: I just saw the movie War Horse. How did they film the barbed-wire scene? —S. Stockwell, Orleans, Mass.
A: Though a small part
Your hair is tamer than it was 20 years ago [above]. Would you ever chop it off? Oh yeah—it’s
sance than anything. more of a nuisance rform and am really But when I perform rocking, I like to get the hair out. e something to You gotta have swing around.. ny hidden Do you have any ng. And talents? Writing.
lly I’m a classically ertenor. trained countertenor. earn What will we learn our about you in your book? That I’d lost
everything by 1992. ke and I was flat broke e to a desk riding a bicycle d phones job. I answered and did some light bookkeeping in my p for $5 brother’s shop an hour. We would pretend I was just mputer. using the computer.
Letters to Walterr Scott can be sentt to P.O. Box 5001, Grand rand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001
really eat the same salad every day during Friends? —Sarah, Atlanta
A: Yes, for 10 years she
had a modified Cobb, with turkey bacon and chickpeas. She shares chic her n new fave in Loukoumi’s Celebrity Cookbook Cele (proceeds benefit St. Jude (pro Children’s Research Chi Hos Hospital and Chefs for Humanity). Go to Parade Hum .com/aniston for the recipe. .com Q: I heard Vanilla Ice is reno renovating houses for real reality TV. What else is new with him? —L. Pollard-
How tall is Nicole Kidman, and who are some other statuesque actresses? —J. Roundtree, Wichita, Kan.
Kidman stands 5 feet 10½ inches without heels. Even taller are 6-foot beauties Brooke Shields, Uma Thurman, Jane Lynch, and Geena Davis.
Post, Holland, Mich.
A: B Besides season two of
his h home-improvement show, The Vanilla Ice Project show (DIY Network, Saturdays, 10 p.m. p ET), he has an
ke most What do you like elevision? about reality television?
e It gives me the o show opportunity to people who I really am. There is more to me than a screaming guyy with makeup on.
Q: Did Jennifer Aniston
Email your questions to Walter Scott at Parade.com /contact
album out in October. “I don’t want people to think I’ve abandoned music just because I found a new passion,” he says.
★ PRESENTS ★
Who Said It? CHRISTIAN BALE | SEAN PENN CHR NN
<
was shot with an animatronic puppet, most of the harrowing scene featured trainer Bobby Lovgren’s steed Finder. The wire was made of plastic and only seemed to be tangled around the horse.
I was the lead singer, so I was selfish and self-absorbed. I tried to learn from that and be a team player. I worked hard to play nice since I didn’t in the past.
“Turning one’s back on stardom might be the highest form of common sense.” See the answer at wonderwall.com/whosaidit
PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM BOTTOM LEFT: COURTESY OF DREAMWORKS; ARUN NEVADER/FILMMAGIC; FIN COSTELLO/REDFERNS; JON KOPALOFF/FILMMAGIC; STEPHEN LOVEKIN/GETTY IMAGES; JEAN BAPTISTE LACROIX/FILMMAGIC; JASON MERRITT/GETTY IMAGES; CAROLYN CONTINO/BEIMAGES
about Soledad O’Brien?
P Jennifer Aniston
<
Q: Can you tell me more
Did being in a band help you with the group dynamics on Celebrity Apprentice? I was terrible in [Twisted Sister].
<
P Soledad O’Brien
The rocker, 56, is a contestant on The Celebrity Apprentice (tonight on NBC, 9 p.m. ET) and will release a memoir, Shut Up and Give Me the Mic, in May.
2 • February 19, 2012
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
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your guide to health, life,
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lot of folks, it’s really difficult. My dad was a bus driver, and he couldn’t take off to come see me in a school assembly.
SUNDAY WITH ...
Al Roker
Is it helpful having a spouse who’s in the same business? [Roker’s wife, Deborah Roberts, is a corI DIDN’T PLAN respondent for TO BE ON ABC’s 20/20.] TV, BUT IT The short WORKED OUT. answer is yes. I GUESS IT The longer WAS MEANT answer is that TO BE.” T even though you understand the responsibilities of the job, when you are the spouse who’s with the kids and juggling your job, you’re like, “Okay, it’s time to come home.” Let’s be honest—no matter how hard we try as husbands and fathers, it’s still Mom who bears the brunt.
America’s favorite weatherman on food, family, and what ticks him off
A
L ROKER’S
weekday schedule would have most of us seeing double: up at 3:30 a.m. and on the air at 6 o’clock with the Weather Channel’s Wake Up With Al program, followed by three hours of the Today show. But that’s not all that keeps this 57-year-old father of three busy—he also cowrites detective novels and produces reality shows through his company, Al Roker Entertainment. Small wonder, he tells Erin Hill, that on Sundays he likes to sleep in until 9 a.m., “if the kids let me.”
PARADE How do you balance career and family? It’s a work in progress. Can you move a meeting, or do it on the phone so you can take your son or daughter somewhere? I’m very fortunate—I work with really great people who give me the flexibility to do that. For a
was driving my daughter and some of her friends to an event, and it was fun because you become invisible. You get to hear a bit of their world. You’ve written a few cookbooks. Do you have a signature dish? I don’t know that I have a signature. Most of the things I do are pretty simple. To me, there aren’t many things more satisfying than a roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, and grilled asparagus. You look great. Is it a constant struggle to stay fit? It’s not a secret I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 140 pounds, but over the years about 40 pounds crept back, and I worked hard at getting those off again. It’s less food in, and more exercise. There are people—my wife, for example—who enjoy working out. I’m not one of them. It’s necessary, and I feel better after I’ve done it, but I hate every minute of it. Is there a story behind your catchphrase, “Here’s what’s happening in your neck of the woods”? They tell you that you have to come up with one so the local station knows when to cut away. I remembered my grandfather saying it—sounds a little corny, but it works!
What do you like to do on Sundays? I go to church, have brunch, go for a run You’re known to be easyor bike ride if going. What bothers you? the weather Injustice and inequality. is nice. And When I see things that the family drive are intrinsically not fair, I is an underrated try to make them teachpastime. I remember able moments. My kids as a kid growing up have seen it in Brooklyn firsthand: Dad and Queens, could be wearwe’d drive to Make Al’s chili! Get ing a suit and upstate New his recipe at [going] to a York. The Parade.com/roker normal part of other day I
town and still get passed up by a cab driver. It’s not right, but there it is. You have to know that life isn’t always fair and equal. You’ll be covering the Olympics in London this summer. Any special stunts on tap? Even as we speak, I’m sure they’re trying to figure out what outlandish outfit they can put us in and what goofball situation will yield the most embarrassment for us. I’m really looking forward to it! This is the greatest job in the world.
DR. OZ’S
Transformation Nation: Million Dollar You
SMART MOVE OF THE WEEK
By the time we reach age 50, threequarters of our health can be determined by lifestyle, which is good news: How healthy you are is largely up to you, especially when it comes to your heart. Try these simple steps: Do 30 minutes of exercise a day (walking is great); avoid trans fats; and ask your doctor about taking the supplements coenzyme Q10 (100 mg) and DHA omega-3 (600 mg). For more healthyliving video tips from Dr. Oz, go to Parade.com/oz.
PHOTOS, FROM LEFT: VIRGINIA SHERWOOD; SONY PICTURES TELEVISION
Report INTELLIGENCE
4 • February 19, 2012
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
Ask Marilyn By Marilyn vos Savant
Are there whirlpools in the ocean? If so, are they a threat to ships? —Gerald Brown, Shalimar, Fla.
Whirlpools do exist, both on the surface of the water and submerged. Most aren’t powerful enough to capsize a sizable vessel, but they can pose a threat to inexperienced boaters. Many have a vortex that pulls downward. One example is Japan’s Naruto whirlpool, which draws daily crowds of onlookers. Another, near Norway, is the Saltstraumen Maelstrom, said to be the world’s strongest. Not far away is the Moskstraumen, made infamous by Edgar Allan Poe and Jules Verne. The whirlpool Garofalo (which probably inspired the mythical Charybdis) is located in the waters between Sicily and mainland Italy. We Americans have one of our own, Old Sow, between Maine and New Brunswick.
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February 19, 2012 • 5
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
“REVENGE IS A FANTASY,” SAYS MADELEINE STOWE OF HER P OPUL AR SERIE S, “ YET IT HITS PEOPLE ON A GU T LEVEL .”
MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING
1. Elizabeth McGovern’s Lady Cora, who presides over the upstairs drama on Downton Abbey. 2. J. R. Ewing (Larry Hagman), who puts the fun in dysfunctional family rivalry on this summer’s update of Dallas. 3. Kristin Chenoweth’s affluent Texas belle, who believes in both amazing grace and retribution on GCB. 4. Emily Thorne (Emily VanCamp), who bewitches her enemy’s son (Josh Bowman) in her quest for payback on Revenge.
PHOTO CREDITS WILL GO HERE AS SHOWN
Among the characters flashing their cash in prime time are (opposite page):
00 • Month 00, 2012
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
They’re
We’re Not. So why are we loving the 1% on TV? From Revenge to the return of Dallas, the nighttime soap is back. By Leah Rozen COVER AND OPENING PHOTO GRAPH BY MAT THEW ROL STON
W
e in the hoi polloi
may resent the 1 percent, but we havee no problem with theirr occupying prime time. Soapy dramas featuring plump-pocketed characters ers are rocking the ratings and multiplying fast. Not since the 1980s, when Dallas and Dynasty ruled the airwaves, have so many powerful men n and women, expensively garbed and impeccably ably coiffed, connived and schemed against onee another. Case in point: ABC’s Revenge, one of the new season’s few breakout hits and d a topic of heated discussion on social media. ia. Inspired by Alexandre Dumas’s 19th-century ury novel The Count of Monte Cristo, this guilty pleasure is set in the Hamptons, the Long Island playground that caters ters to Manhattan’s wealthy. Every week, ek,
2 3 1 4
Emily Thorne (Emily (Em VanCamp) plots to ruin a high-society couple coupl (Henry Czerny and Madeleine Stowe) who framed her late father for a heinous crime years ago. Stowe, who stylishly plays Victoria Grayson, Gray the show’s presiding diva, thinks the series ser taps into our national concern over the growing g gap between the superrich and every everyone else. “Audiences get to have it both ways: They T peek into the extravagant lifestyle of the über-wealthy, but they also see them getting g a comeuppance,” she says. “People “P have felt so screwed over. I think there’s a collective anger ange out there, and people are getting a collective revenge.” get Other series showcasing the swanky set include Mastersw piece’s Downton Abbey, the p aaddictive WWI-era drama February 19, 2012 • 9
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
COVER AND OPENING SPREAD: MATTHEW ROLSTON/MR PHOTO/CORBIS FOR PARADE; STYLING, NICK BRUE/MARGARETMALDONADO.COM; PROP STYLING, MICHAEL GREEN; MAKEUP, FRANCESCA TOLOT/CLOUTIER; HAIR, MARCO BERARDINI/CLOUTIER. COVER, BRACELETS, FROM TOP: SAMIRA 13; VAHAN; HARRY KOTLAR; VAHAN (2); HARRY KOTLAR; DENA KEMP. INSIDE: DRESS, CATHERINE DEANE; EARRINGS, SAMIRA 13; RING, KUMKUM
that?’ ” says Shari Levine, a Bravo and that Dallas and Dynasty were executive who oversees the shows. going strong during the recession of Get a peek at the the early 1980s. But in the era of ecoset in an immense English manor house, which is “You get to aspire to what they have Feb. 29 episode of nomic well-being that was the 1950s, one of PBS’s biggest hits ever; GCB, an ABC series and feel superior at the same time, a Revenge, plus read an excerpt from wholesome sitcoms such as Father starting March 4 about Texas socialites who make yin-yang experience.” the novel (by Kim So why are these programs thrivKnows Best and Leave It to Beaver, malicious mischief in between weekly church Gatlin) that GCB is based on, at which revolved around happy nuclear attendance; and a reboot of Dallas, that avatar ing now? Because they offer muchParade.com/soaps families, were the norm. “When peoof avarice, which will giddyap onto TNT this needed escapism during difficult ple are less anxious and more comsummer. There’s also, for younger viewers, the times, says Elayne Rapping, profesCW’s Gossip Girl (now in its fifth season), which sor emerita of American Studies at the Univer- fortable, they like watching shows about people follows a group of absurdly privileged Manhattan sity at Buffalo. “I think of these shows as luxury who are living better lives, but not better than they porn,” she says. “During times of economic can aspire to,” says Rapping. “Those 1950s shows private-school grads. Of course, this voyeuristic obsession with the stress, when everything’s going wrong, people were templates for a middle-class life.” The current batch of nighttime soaps cerrich crossed over to reality television several years just don’t want to deal with real life. We’d much back. Bravo has made an industry of its various rather be temporarily in that over-the-top, glam- tainly doesn’t offer that kind of template. The Real Housewives programs, which currently fea- orous world.” Adds Annie Potts, who plays a Census Bureau puts the median household inture moneyed women in New York, Beverly wealthy widow on GCB, “It gives people such come in the U.S. at $49,445, which wouldn’t Hills, Atlanta, Orange County, and New Jersey. pleasure, because so often they think, ‘If I only even cover the cost of a car driven by characters Though there have been a couple of financial had money, my life would be better.’ Then they on these shows, much less the country manor in Downton Abbey (really Highclere Castle in Berkembarrassments offscreen, when cameras are roll- look at these shows and say, ‘Not so much.’ ” Rapping points out that during the Great shire) or Grayson Manor, the beachside mansion ing, the casts continue to behave like modern-day Marie Antoinettes. “There’s a sense of, ‘Oh my Depression, in the 1930s, Hollywood movies in Revenge (it’s actually a digital creation). As if in acknowledgment, shows about the God, they have all that money and they’re doing often focused on penthouse-dwelling plutocrats, 1 percent serve up their conspicuous consumption with a wink. In GCB, when Kristin Chenoweth’s literally well-heeled character climbs atop her husband’s desk to get frisky with him, the red soles of her Louboutins wave merrily in the air. Most of us wouldn’t dream of dropping $500-plus on a They ruled the roost on your ’80s favorites. Here’s what they’re up to today. pair of pumps, but thanks to fashion and celebrity magazines, Jennifer Lopez, and the Internet, we know Louboutins when we see them. “There’s a level of awareness now, and not just by a small element of the population,” says Robert Harling, GCB’s creator and executive producer, of the luxury goods shown in programs like his. “My dad Joan Collins Lorenzo Lamas Victoria Principal Joan Van Ark isn’t going to know [exactly] what it is, but he’s going to go, ‘Oh, that’s that Prada stuff.’ ” (In a Falcon Crest (1981–90) Dynasty (1981–89) Dallas (1978–91) Knots Landing (1979–93) case of life imitating art imitating life, ABC may P THEN: Lance the P THEN: Alexis paved P THEN: Tragedy P THEN: Once a lothario was a willing the way for generamagnet Pamela made deserted teenage bride explore merchandising lower-cost versions of pawn in his grandtions of divalicious TV history when it and waitress, Val some of the goods shown on Revenge, says Mike mother’s plots. schemers. was revealed she’d blossomed into a Kelley, the show’s creator and executive producer. P NOW: Lamas, 54, has P NOW: Collins, 78, dreamed Bobby’s successful writer. “Everyone wants to know how they can get a bit dabbled in reality released her fourth death—and an entire P NOW: Van Ark, 68, of that lifestyle,” he notes.) television and memoir last year; season of the show. voiced a character on continues to act. He she and Dynasty’s P NOW: The skin-care FX’s Archer last year Even more important, plots and characters married for the fifth Stephanie Beacham maven and environand appeared with her must strike a chord with viewers. If it were enough time last year and recently reunited for a mental crusader, 62, is Knots nemesis, Donna simply to showcase rich people misbehaving, operates a custom Snickers commercial training to be on the Mills, in two episodes ABC’s Dirty Sexy Money (2007–09) would still be motorcycle business. in the U.K. maiden voyage of of Nip/Tuck. airing. “Shows like Revenge can’t survive on bitchVirgin Galactic’s commercial spacecraft. iness and retribution alone. People have to care,” says Kelley. The key is giving characters depth and Which ’80s soaper danced on ice? Who played Lincoln? Get the dish on more stars at Parade.com/soaps making relatable the motivations driving them. Return of the Soaps | from page 7
8 • February 19, 2012
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
PREVIOUS SPREAD, FROM LEFT: PBS; TURNER; ABC (2). OPPOSITE, FROM LEFT: EVERETT COLLECTION; DAVE M. BENETT/GETTY; CBS/GETTY; JIM SMEAL/BEI/REX; EVERETT COLLECTION; JORDAN STRAUSS/WIREIMAGE/GETTY; EVERETT COLLECTION; PETER BOOKER/REX USA
“Revenge is universal,” Kelley adds, “whether you’ve thought of keying the car of the meter maid who gave you a ticket or [getting back at] someone bigger in your life. It’s been around as long as stories have been around.” Another common thread woven into all these shows is the presence of a few major characters who represent the 99 percent. Downton Abbey spends nearly as much time with its below-stairs help as it does with its upstairs aristocrats. “[Servants] Bates, Anna, Mrs. Patmore, and Daisy are
“DURING TIMES OF STRESS, WE’D RATHER BE IN THAT OVER-THE-TOP WORLD.” just as interesting to the viewer as Lord and Lady Grantham and their daughters; we’ve had a completely equal narrative emphasis on both sides of the story,” says Julian Fellowes, the Oscar-winning British screenwriter (Gosford Park) who created the delicious drama, which concludes its second season on PBS tonight. “It works if the world that the characters are in is believable, and that’s as true of Tosca as All My Children.” It is these middle- and working-class characters—like viewers, they are on the outside looking in—who serve as our conduits. Revenge has Jack and Declan Porter (Nick Wechsler and Connor Paolo), brothers who inherited a failing bar from their father and are struggling to keep it afloat. On
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Please see Brief Summary of Important Risk Information for NICOTROL Inhaler on the back. 1. Nicotrol Inhaler [prescribing information]. New York, NY: Pfizer Inc; 2008.
February 19, 2012 • 9
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Return of the Soaps | from page 9
' ' ' '$ ' ' %
Important Facts About NICOTROL Inhaler This information does not take the place of talking to your doctor about your medical condition or your treatment.
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GCB, the showâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heroine (Leslie Bibb) is a former mean girl who returns home to her mom (Potts) in Dallas, poorer but nicer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She has to start all over again. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an age-old heroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s journey,â&#x20AC;? says Harling. â&#x20AC;&#x153;A lot of people have to do that these days. Of course, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing it in a more comedic way.â&#x20AC;? Starting all over again, 21 years after it went off the air following a 14-season run, is Dallas. Veterans Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy, and Linda Gray are reprising their roles as, respectively, J. R., Bobby, and Sue Ellen Ewing, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re joined by the next generation of rival Ewing sons ( Jesse Metcalfe and Josh Henderson). Everyone still lives on or near the ranch at Southfork, and not much has changedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am sick to death of this family devouring itself over money!â&#x20AC;? yells Bobby in the pilot episodeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; except that now J. R. and Bobby both have Andy Rooneyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;esque eyebrows. (â&#x20AC;&#x153;I want to sneak up with manicure scissors and trim them,â&#x20AC;? jokes Gray.) Cynthia Cidre, the writer and executive producer for nouveau Dallas, notes that everything old is new again. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The show deals with land, lust, betrayal, and sibling rivalryâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;themes that have been in literature since Greek drama,â&#x20AC;? she says. That may be, but Gray relishes the changes time has brought. During the first goround, â&#x20AC;&#x153;the men would do horrible things, and the women would react,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now Sue Ellen is powerful and richer than J. R. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Mama Grizzly ďŹ ghting for her son.â&#x20AC;? Let the conniving begin. 10 â&#x20AC;˘ February 19, 2012
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MIND + BODY
Revive Your New Year’s Resolutions Follow these tips for successful change By Jennifer Ackerman • Illustration by Zohar Lazar
1
Accept the busy, stressed person you are today. Accord-
ing to McGonigal, people often fail to make change because they imagine their future selves with Herculean powers of self-control. “Don’t wait for the efficient person who resists all temptation to show up. Take action now and understand that you’re human and you’ll have setbacks,” she says.
2
Pick your battles.
Studies suggest that glucose in the bloodstream fuels willpower; when levels are low, it’s harder to stay the course. Likewise, engaging in acts of self-control all day depletes glucose. So prioritize and try to limit the number of times you need to exert your willpower each day.
3
I
f you’re like millions of americans, you woke up on jan. 1
and vowed to turn over a new leaf—run three miles a day, stop smoking, lose a pound a week, save $200 a month, whatever. You vividly imagined a better you. And for a while it seemed to work. But then, come late January or early February, you stopped jogging. You snuck a cigarette. You went on a QVC spending spree. In other words, you slipped back into your old habits. It doesn’t have to be that way. Willpower is not the brute strength to resist temptation, but “the ability to do what you really want to do when part of you really doesn’t want to do it,” says Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist at Stanford University and the author of The Willpower Instinct. “It’s remembering what you really want, your bigger goals, in the face of your immediate desires.” And it’s a skill you can strengthen. Science may not yet have devised a surefire formula for keeping every resolution, but it has lately revealed some tips to help all of us make real and lasting change.
Rethink your environment.
“When your surroundings stay the same, so do your ingrained habits,” says Miriam Nelson, director of the John Hancock Center on Physical Activity, Nutrition, and Obesity Prevention at Tufts University. “But when you tweak your environment to make healthy choices easy, your habits automatically change.” Trying to lose weight? Get rid of the junk food and store bowls of cut-up veggies in the fridge. Looking to build muscle? Keep dumbbells in the TV room and do bicep curls while you watch.
4
Start small.
“Many people are too ambitious in their goals,” says Nelson. Instead of vowing to get fit, try building a 10-minute walk into your day. “If you stick with that goal for a week, congratulate yourself and up the ante the following week.”
Anticipate challenges—the plate of cookies at the office, the fatigue that makes you want to skip the gym—and imagine how you’ll overcome them.
5
Envision how you’ll achieve your goal. Visualization—
the way an Olympic athlete imagines the perfect pole vault or high dive—boosts your odds of success. A 2011 study from McGill University in Montreal found that among people who set a goal of eating more fruit, those who pictured when, where, and how they would buy, prepare, and eat it consumed twice as much as those who didn’t. By the same token, anticipate challenges— the plate of cookies at the office, the end-of-day fatigue that makes you want to skip the gym— and imagine how you’ll overcome them.
12 • February 19, 2012
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Resolutions | from page 12
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that the simple act of monitoring your behavior, whether it’s exercising, smoking, or spending, encourages you to, say, hit the gym more often, smoke fewer cigarettes, or preserve your savings account. People who keep a food journal, for instance, may lose twice as much weight as those who don’t.
7
Seek support. It’s tough
to make lasting change on your own, so surround yourself with people who encourage your efforts. A study of people who completed a weight loss program found that 66 percent of those who teamed up with friends had kept the weight off six months later; the figure fell to 24 percent for those who went it alone.
8
Be kind to yourself.
According to McGonigal, study after study shows that self-criticism is linked to less motivation and self-control. On the other hand, “selfcompassion—being supportive and kind to yourself, especially
9
Above all, be patient.
The good news: Over time, your resolution will start to require less effort. A recent study by researchers at University College London found that participants took, on average, 66 days to form a new habit, whether it was eating fruit at lunch or running 15 minutes a day (the range was 18 to 254 days, depending on the degree of difficulty). Even better: A single setback in no way predicted failure. “It’s how you recover from a setback that counts,” says McGonigal. “If you splurge or miss a day, just get right back on track.” Jennifer Ackerman is the coauthor of The Social Network Diet: Change Yourself, Change the World.
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in the face of setbacks—is associated with more motivation and better self-control,” she says. “Try to avoid the ‘what the hell’ effect, that vicious cycle of indulgence, guilt, and greater indulgence. Self-forgiveness and self-compassion are not just about letting yourself off the hook; they’re about remembering what it is you really want.”
TODAY SHOW
14 • February 19, 2012
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
Views
I
By Connie Schultz
My Story in Five Faces
n my early 30s, i copied
a George Orwell quotation and tucked it into my wallet: “At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves.” A promise? Or a warning? That depended on how I lived my life. Orwell was right. Even in the faces of strangers, you can tell who has spent more time laughing than frowning, who rolled with life’s tumbles and who never recovered. Like maps that are repeatedly redrawn, our faces track the march of time. Line up photos of the same face at different ages and a life story unfolds like a graphic novel. This is my story in five faces.
PHOTOS: COURTESY OF CONNIE SCHULTZ
MORE FROM CONNIE
Read her first online-only column at Parade.com/connie
Age 12 I’m in seventh grade, and I want to be anybody else. Specifically, I want to be Aretha Franklin. I’m convinced a Toni home permanent and a neighbor’s artistry will transform me into Ashtabula’s Queen of Soul. She cuts my long, straight hair and wraps what’s left around small pink curlers. She squirts the smelly chemicals all over my head. My scalp burns for what feels like 12 hours. I think I look amazing. Not Mom. She takes one look at me and collapses on the sofa, fanning herself with her apron. The next week, I line up for my school portrait wearing my new Afro and pointy collars as big as window shades. Before the flash goes off, my gym teacher shakes her head and says, “Girl, does your mother know what you did to your hair?” Age 21 I am an asthmatic, and a prescription drug makes my face puff out. I
eyes. I couldn’t care less. I’m starring in Act II of my own life. I’m a newspaper columnist, a woman paid to give her opinion. After a decade as a single mother, I’ve fallen in love, too, with a man who has the nerve to push back on independent me. I insist I don’t need him to wait on me—ever. He sits me down in his kitchen and says, “You are not giving up your right to vote or to own property if you let me make you a cup of coffee.” For the first time in 45 years, I am speechless. I want to be younger but only because my heart aches with a single truth: When you meet the love of your life in middle age, the odds are you won’t celebrate a golden wedding anniversary together.
No, it never launched a thousand ships or made it onto Mount Rushmore, but this face has seen (and laughed) a lot
Age 12
Age 21
Age 45
am so self-conscious that if someone points a camera at me, I pucker up and cross my eyes. I want to be less dependent on others’ opinions of me. I’m failing miserably. A fellow staffer on our college newspaper wears a leg brace and a special shoe with a five-inch platform. He walks with a limp, and he hates the goofy pictures of me. I don’t know this until he surreptitiously shoots this photo and presents it to me as a gift. “If I looked like you,” he says, softly, “I’d smile all the time.” Then he walks away. Thirty-three years later, this photo still hangs in my home office as a reminder to get over myself.
Age 37
Age 53
Age 37 After 15 years of writing freelance stories at my kitchen table, I get my first newspaper job. Weeks later, I’m a newly single mother living with my two kids in an apartment half the size of the house we’d called home. I want to be fearless, but I am scared to death. See the fear in my eyes? I am also stronger than I know. Like so many women, I have to learn, one crazy day at a time, that if I act brave, the courage will come. And it does. Age 45 Crinkles fan out from both of my
Age 53 I’m three years past Orwell’s deadline. The worry lines have won the territory between my brows. Starbursts punctuate my eyes. That’s what a lifetime of grinning brings. There are worse fates. I’ve not succumbed to any tinkering. No surgery or needles for me. This is not to judge other women. I’m just not big on volunteering for pain. My husband is taking this picture, which explains my smile. He still makes my coffee. “Honey,” I say to him over a recent game of Scrabble. “When I’m old, will you still love me?” He doesn’t even look up. “Honey,” he says. “You’re already old. And I still love you.” We laugh like crazy, and I don’t want to be anybody but me. February 19, 2012 • 15
© PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.
Š PARADE Publications 2011. All rights reserved.