Parade 05-20 by The Southern Illinoisan

S U N D AY, M AY 2 0 , 2 0 1 2

A LIFE LESSON FROM

COLIN POWELL

DOING IT

HIS WAY KEVIN COSTNER ON BEING

LUCKY, RAISING KIDS IN HIS 50s, AND REMEMBERING WHITNEY

By Dotson Rader

PLUS:

OUR SUMMER TV PREVIEW

P Maria Menounos and Derek Hough

Q: What happens to the costumes worn on Dancing With the Stars once the show is over?

PARADE

Past contestants Ricki Lake, Nancy Grace, and Kristi Yamaguchi own all the sparkly garments they wore, and Maria Menounos has expressed interest in buying hers at the end of this season.

—Debbie Armiger, N.J.

A: “Some go into storage,

some are auctioned for charity, and others we reuse,” says costume designer Steven Lee. Celebs may also buy their costumes, though they can cost up to $5,000 apiece.

P Daniel Radcliffe and Allen Ginsberg

Q: Is Daniel Radcliffe ﬁnding it hard to transition to adult roles in movies? —Meredith, Boston

I DON’T THINK ANY WOMAN IN THE WORLD COULD GET TIRED OF BEING COMPARED TO MARILYN MONROE.”

his career stalled in the ’60s because of Beatlemania. Does he hold a grudge? —Sheila G., Sacramento

A: Although Sedaka, 73,

—Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on her famous figure

A: Not at all! Radcliffe, adcliffe,

22, adeptly played da concerned father in the recent supernatural aturaal thriller The Woman an in Black (on DVD May 22), and he’ll nextt portray celebrated Beat at poet Allen Ginsberg in Kill Your Darlings, due in 2013. Find out what h t he ha thinks about donning another pair of iconic glasses at Parade.com/radcliffe..

Q: Neil Sedaka has said

See more Ma Marilyn look-alikes at look-ali Parade Parade.com /mo /monroe

says the Beatles “came to America Ame and took me off the t map,” all has been b be en forgiven. for He even took to ook his h 6-year-old grandson to a Paul gran McCartney M concert last year in Las cer Vegas. Ve egas “He told me he likes th the Beatles’ songs better bett ter e than mine!” S Sedaka edak says with a laugh. His twin ggranddaughters gr andd da sing backup on his new children’s book/CD combo, Dinosaur Pet, inspired by his 1961 hit “Calendar Girl.” Listen to the song at Parade.com/sedaka.

WALTER SCOTT ASKS …

Randy Jackson As he readies for the American Idol finale (Fox, May 23, 8 p.m. ET), Jackson, 55, is also shining a spotlight on type 2 diabetes with the Taking Diabetes to Heart campaign. What changes have you made in your life since you were diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2003? I’ve made a

complete 180. I’m a much healthier eater and I’ve lost quite a bit of weight over the years. I’m very active now. I’m actually a pretty good tennis player! You have some memorable Idol catchphrases. Do you have a favorite? I try to switch it up. Ryan Seacrest loves “In it

to win it,” so I’m going to get him a shirt with that on it. You’ve played the bass guitar for several bands, but can you sing? I used to think I was a singer; I had

Who will be the next American Idol? Vote at Parade .com/idol

my own delusions about it. I’ve sung background for a couple of bands. I’m better than some on the radio now, I’ll tell you that much!

You’re the last original Idol judge, now in your 11th season. Have you ever thought about leaving the show? We have these things called contracts, so you

never know! But I’m still enjoying it 100 percent. Email your questions to Walter Scott at personality@parade.com. Letters can be sent to P.O. Box 5001, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001.

PHenri Richard with the Stanley Cup in 1973

Q: Which NHL player has the most Stanley Cup wins? —Bob Flanagan, New York City

A: The puck stops

with former Montreal Canadiens center Henri Richard. Nicknamed “Pocket Rocket” for his 5-foot-7 frame, the Hall of Famer won 11 championships—more than any other player in NHL history—between 1955 and 1975. Now 76, Richard serves as an ambassador for the Canadiens’ organization.

PHOTOS, FROM LEFT: ADAM TAYLOR/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES; GARDINER ANDERSON/BAUER-GRIFFIN; BETTMANN/CORBIS; GREGG DEGUIRE/ FILMMAGIC; HULTON ARCHIVE/GETTY IMAGES; DICK RAPHAEL/SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. ILLUSTRATION: JORGE AREVALO

Walter Scott,s

2 • May 20, 2012

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NO ORDINARY TALENT

What W at too re Wh read, see, and do this week “EITHER YOU’RE NAIVE OR YOU HAVE SCRUPLES. I’M NOT SURE WHICH IS WORSE.” Season 7

For more, go to Parade.com/picks Parade.com/pick

LEAVING THE HOUSE TV’s crankiest doc hangs up his stethoscope this week (May 21, Fox, 8 p.m. ET) after eight years of medical sleuthing. Fans of this mad-dog M.D. (Hugh Laurie) will miss his bitterly honest bedside manner. “He didn’t just attack for the sake of attacking,” says executive producer David Shore. “There was always an agenda, however petty.” Here, a few of our favorite House-isms.

BOOKS PAST & PREZ Presidential Campaign Posters offers iconic poster images, including this Reagan-Bush ’84 classic. The Presidents Club (by Nancy Gibbs and Michael Duffy) gives insight into the special bond shared by past Oval Ofﬁce occupants.

FULL NELSON

“DO I GET BONUS POINTS IF I ACT LIKE I CARE?”

Willie’s actual guitar from 1969!

Season 2

“IF YOU CAN FAKE SINCERITY, YOU CAN FAKE PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING.” Season 1

Willie Nelson may be partial to his well-worn guitar Trigger (left), but he’s still finding ways to reinvent himself musically. On his new album, Heroes, he joins forces with Snoop Dogg and covers Coldplay. His lovely version of Pearl Jam’s “Just Breathe,” sung with his 23-year-old son, Lukas, is one of many highlights. Listen to “Just Breathe” by QR code Q scanning this info in nfo to go o tag with your here he ere teeka teekay ay smartphone code c tar

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14 : 11

It too took ok Ste Steve Jobs only 14 minutes, 11 seconds to deliver a memorable memora a commencement speech to Stanford’s class of 2005—but his message is timeless. Watch other great grad talks and get gift ideas for your oth favorite seniors at Parade.com/grads. fa

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: FLORIAN SCHNEIDER/FOX; CINEMAPHOTO/CORBIS; JORDAN STRAUSS/WIREIMAGE; LINDA A. CICERO/STANFORD NEWS SERVICE

PA R A D E

From her small-town Texas childhood to her life today on a Virginia farm (with stops along the way to make classic ﬁlms like Badlands, Carrie, Coal Miner’s Daughter, and The Help), Sissy Spacek tells the story she calls My Extraordinary Ordinary Life. Readers will revel in this charming memoir by a movie star who feels like just folks.

4 • May 20, 2012

“Eat Yourself Skinny!” Mother of 5 reveals how she lost 58 pounds in 10 months WITHOUT Dieting. . . and WITHOUT depriving herself of all of her favorite foods — plus it was as easy as shaking ‘salt n pepper’ on her meals

BEFORE Losing weight will never be easier. At times I feel like a ‘SuperMom’ of 5 beautiful children, who cleans the house, does the washing, ironing, grocery shopping, pays the bills, referees the kids, and plays taxi driver to football, cheerleading practice as well as coaching. . . and then I go home to cook my family a delicious, hot, home-cooked meal (even though I’ve worked all day)! Being so busy, I just didn’t have the time to diet. I hardly have any time for myself, let alone the time to worry about every single bite I’m eating or preparing special meals for myself. Perhaps you can relate to what I’m saying? Over the years, every time a new fad diet came out, I tried it in the vain hope one of them might just work for me. AFTER I tried everything. Pre-packaged meals, counting points, diet pills, supplements, liquid diets, you name it — I’ve probably done it. The worst decision I ever made — one I still regret to this day — was to get liposuction. No matter what I tried or how much suffering I endured, my weight stayed on. Like many women, my struggle with my weight began after I had my children. It was like all of my bad eating habits caught up to me at once. And I was too busy juggling my kids and my work to have the time to make any drastic changes to my lifestyle. After trying almost every weightloss product on the market with no success whatsoever, I pretty much became resigned to the fact. . . I would just have to settle for being a size 16. I was looking through some photos one day when I saw a photo of myself on the beach and wondered

who the “big girl” was. My life changed instantly because I realized I had to take action for good and get my body back, not just for myself but also for my kids.

And I no longer dreaded wearing a bathing suit at the beach. I felt sexy, conﬁdent and people began commenting on how much younger I looked! Plus, I ﬁnally had enough energy to keep up with my kids.

THE SENSA® BREAKTHROUGH

EAT WHATEVER YOU NORMALLY EAT

I began searching everywhere for a solution until my mind went back to a psychiatric convention I had attended for my job, where I had met the neurologist Dr. Alan Hirsch and discovered his scientiﬁ c studies on the effects taste and smell can have on weight loss. I remembered being impressed by all of the research and scientiﬁ c evidence he revealed which backed up his studies. On a whim, I looked up Dr. Hirsch on the Internet — and was astounded to discover he had created the SENSA® Weight-Loss System.

It almost seemed too good to be true, since I didn’t have to make any changes to my hectic schedule, unlike all of the diets I had previously tried. I can still eat whatever my family is having, even if it’s drive-through or Mexican food. And when my kids celebrate their birthdays, I can still have a piece of cake. All I have to remember to do is sprinkle my SENSA®, which is easy enough because I always sprinkle salt and pepper on my food anyway.

Based on Dr. Hirsch’s 25 years of research and testing, SENSA® works with your sense of smell to trigger the “I feel full” signal in your brain which means you eat less and feel more satisﬁed. . . ultimately, you lose weight. In one of the largest studies ever conducted on a non-prescription weight-loss system, 1,436 men and women lost an average of 30.5 pounds in just 6 months, without changing their diets or exercise routines. Considering all of the science behind SENSA®, I was relieved to see it wasn’t another one of those fad diets or quick ﬁxes. I knew I had to try it. After all, the only thing I had to lose was my unwanted weight!

LOOK SEXY, FEEL YOUNGER My journey with SENSA® started the day before Thanksgiving, which might sound like I had set myself up for failure. For the ﬁrst time in my life, I didn’t even ﬁnish my plate on Thanksgiving; I still had more than half of the food left over — I was so stuffed! I went on to lose 7 pounds over the holidays. I was beyond thrilled to lose, rather than gain, but I did question whether my weight loss good fortune would continue. I didn’t need to worry. The pounds continued to melt off of me like a hot knife melts through frozen butter over the coming weeks and months. I was ecstatic! I began to look forward to going shopping for new clothes, so I could show off my new body.

I have been using SENSA® for ten months now, and I’ve lost 58 pounds!* To say SENSA® changed my life is an understatement. It’s worked for me and it can work for you. Claim your 30-day FREE trial just like I did, where the only thing you have to lose. . . is YOUR unwanted pounds! – Jennifer, Knoxville, TN

LOSE 3O POUNDS WITHOUT DIETING If you have 30 pounds or more to lose, it’s time to stop dieting and try SENSA® — the ﬁrst clinically proven sensation that you sprinkle on to take the pounds off. Lose weight while continuing to enjoy the foods you love — simply sprinkle SENSA® on everything you eat and feel full faster, curb your appetite and reduce cravings. You’ll lose weight without having to think about it. For a limited time, you can try SENSA® FREE for 30 days, Satisfaction Guaranteed.** Call (800)679-3638 today or visit sensaoffer.com/parade HURRY! Over 2 million FREE TRIALS have already been claimed. Limit one per household. **Product is free to try for 30 days, shipping and handling fees apply. 30-day trial period with satisfaction guaranteed.

*Studies show average weight loss of 30.5 lbs in 6 months. Jennifer used SENSA® for 10 months with a sensible diet. Jennifer is a SENSA® contest winner.

SUNDAY WITH ...

AFTER BEING MARRIED 31 YEARS, I’M NOT TRYING TO SHOW OFF. I CAN COME HOME REEKING OF TRANSMISSION FLUID.”

Jay Leno

The Tonight Show host on comic highs and lows, his many cars, and the secrets of a successful marriage

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TODAY SHOW

he late-night landscape is dramatically different than it was when Jay Leno took over from Johnny Carson in 1992, but the Tonight Show host is sticking to his program’s tried-and-true format. “I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, but they’re doing a very speciﬁc kind of comedy,” says Leno, 62. “I’m doing this broad thing of a smart joke, a silly joke, and then a joke unrelated to politics. That’s what The Tonight Show is—it’s big-tent comedy.” He discusses stand-up and career longevity with Mary Margaret.

PARADE Did you always want to work in entertainment? When I was 7, I went to the movies and watched Elvis Presley in Loving You. The girls went crazy when he sang “Teddy Bear,” and I thought, “This is the way to make a living.” I even took guitar lessons, but when that didn’t work, I decided to tell jokes instead.

What was your ﬁrst joke? In fourth grade, the teacher was talking about how cruel the Sheriff of Nottingham was and something about Friar Tuck, and I said, “Do you know why they boiled them in oil? Because he was a fryer.” It got a laugh. You had some lean years starting out. What was your low point, and what advice do you give to struggling comics? My low point was sleeping in an alley off of 44th Street and Ninth Avenue in New York, right near the Improv. It was awful. I always tell comics, do what you have to do and take every gig that’s out there, no matter how demeaning, because you learn something. Has the digital age affected how you approach comedy? You know, humor doesn’t change a whole lot. If you watch a comedy from the 1920s, the fat rich man stepping out of a Cadillac and into

PHOTO: SANDY HUFFAKER/CORBIS. ILLUSTRATION: GRAFILU

DRAMATIC RESULTS

6 • May 20, 2012

the mud is just as funny now. You can use all these new elements, but that part of the process doesn’t really change. How do you like to spend your Sundays? Working at my garage. I have about 135 cars and 90 motorcycles. It’s a little silly, but my thing has always been one woman and 200 vehicles. It’s cheaper than one car and 200 girlfriends. What’s with your offduty uniform of denim work shirt and jeans? That comes from me telling the wardrobe guy, “Run down to Banana Republic and get me 20 pairs of jeans and 40 shirts.” Then I’m done for the year. Do you and your wife still have date nights? Yeah, she’ll ﬁnd a restaurant, some fancy place in Beverly Hills. I’ll stop at In-N-Out Burger ﬁrst since I’m not a big restaurant guy. But she likes it, and when you’re married, that’s what you do. What else keeps a marriage working? If you don’t fool around, it’s not that hard. I think the key to life is low selfesteem—believing you’re not the smartest or most handsome person in the room. All the people who have high self-esteem are criminals and actors.

that’s ﬁne. My only rule is it has to be funny. Why do you still tour? When you live in show business, people will tell you something is good even when it’s

The comedian recalls two of his most memorable interviews and the one gig that made him really nervous at Parade.com/leno

terrible. But on the road, you ﬁnd out what they really think. Are you always on the lookout for a joke? If you have to write 10 to 14 minutes [of mate-

rial] every day, you have to keep your eyes and ears open. It’s like how I was in school: I didn’t study a lot but I never missed a class, so I was taking it all in. I’m always listening.

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What lessons did you take from the late-night wars in 2010—when Conan O’Brien left NBC and you returned to The Tonight Show? Oh, probably never explain, never complain. I make my living making fun of people, and if people make fun of me,

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Can you determine what happened, readers? The answer follows: Actually, everyone stayed exactly the same. For example, the farmer was owed $100 by someone, but he also owed $100 to someone else. The payments canceled one another out. To ask a question, visit Parade.com /askmarilyn

evin costner

has often been compared to Gary Cooper. Even Cooper’s widow, Rocky, once told me she saw the similarities: “They both act with their eyes.” Now 30plus years into his career, Costner still radiates the all-American appeal and casual glamour that helped make him a star. Dressed in a beige sweater over a white T-shirt, ivory chinos, and spotless canvas sneakers, he relaxes in an armchair in the living room of his oceanfront house outside Santa Barbara, Calif. It is a modest home by movie star standards: four bedrooms on a suburban lot close to the neighbors. But Costner is at ease here, talking about his family, his career, the people he has loved. At 57, he is deeply tanned, his hair now grayish-blond, his voice soft

“I have regrets. But that’s from a lifetime of taking chances” Kevin Costner opens up about family, his late friend Whitney Houston, and what he prays for • BY DOTSON RADER

needs a bigger house and is planning to build it on 10 waterfront acres nearby. His brood also includes three adult children with his ﬁrst wife and college sweetheart, Cindy Silva, from whom he was

COSTNER RIDES AGAIN The actor (center) plays patriarch “Devil Anse” Hatﬁeld in Hatfields & McCoys. For more about the real-life clans, go to Parade.com/costner.

and soothing. He is still sexy, and he knows it. He lives with his second wife, handbag designer Christine Baumgartner, 38, and their children, daughter Grace, almost 2, and sons Hayes, 3, and Cayden, 5. As we talk through the afternoon, we can hear the kids playing in other rooms. Costner says he

divorced in 1994, and a teenage son from a brief post-divorce affair with Pittsburgh football heiress Bridget Rooney. “You never stop raising kids,” he tells me. Costner grew up far from beachfront wealth, in a conservative, hardworking Baptist family in Southern California. He studied business at Cal State

Fullerton, married, and landed a job in marketing after graduation. But he quit after a month to become an actor. “The dialogue in my head was ‘You’ve got to live your life for yourself,’ ” recalls Costner. He went on to appear in over 40 ﬁlms, including The Untouchables, Bull Durham, Field of Dreams, and Dances With Wolves, winning Oscars for the latter for directing and Best Picture. His latest project is the miniseries Hatﬁelds & McCoys, about the post–Civil War clans who famously feuded; it airs May 28, 29, and 30 on the History channel. He’ll also play Clark Kent’s dad in the 2013 Superman reboot, Man of Steel. It was a different type of performance, however, that recently won him attention and praise: In February it fell to Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston’s costar in The Bodyguard, to deliver a eulogy for his friend at her funeral in her childhood church in Newark, N.J. PARADE Why did you want to speak at Whitney Houston’s service?

When [Whitney died], immediately people were on the airwaves talking about it. It’s unusual to

watch the world talking about someone that you have a fairly unique relationship with. It’s almost surreal. This little drumbeat began: “You need to say something.” Did you feel like you wanted to hear from me? Yes. I also thought—and I think it’s in the ﬁlm—that lots of people

WATERWORLD Costner near Santa Barbara with his dogs, Daisy and Jewel.

have the idea that the two of you were lovers. That they were thinking, “This is the only guy who ever really loved her, and why doesn’t he say something?”

Well, I began to feel that. ... You know, I didn’t feel the need to tell people I knew her. A couple of times over the years I called radio

stations that were on her pretty hard, asking the deejay to look at it in a different light. And at a couple of critical moments in her life, I was asked by a close friend to write her a letter. And I did. I don’t know if she ever read them. Did Whitney’s Hollywood celebrity contribute to her substance abuse?

There’s an epidemic of drugs everywhere. Hollywood is a very small part of it. Did you sense her vulnerability?

Oh, yes. I tried to identify it in my eulogy. ... I think about Whitney a little bit the way I think about the Kennedys. I know there’s trouble, but I choose to think about a lot

of other stuff. The trouble is as real as the achievement, but it does not tarnish it. [Costner starred in two ﬁlms about the Kennedys, JFK and Thirteen Days.] Who invited you to speak at her funeral?

Dionne Warwick. My wife and I ﬂew into New York on a Friday

C OV E R AND OPE NI NG PHO TO GRAPHS BY AMANDA FRI E DM AN | May 20, 2012 • 9

MAY

• Dogs in the City (CBS, May 30, 8 p.m. ET) New York City “dog guru” Justin Silver resolves issues between owners and their canines—like a pooch that’s having problems adjusting to joint custody after a divorce— on this reality series. • Duets (ABC, May 24, 8 p.m. ET)

• Men at Work (TBS,

In the latest twist on music talent shows, chart-toppers Kelly Clarkson (above), Jennifer Nettles, Robin Thicke, and John Legend select contestants to be their duet partners. “I’m looking for somebody who sings with soul and passion,” says Thicke. “Someone like Prince, Marvin Gaye, and Michael Jackson.”

May 24, 10 p.m. ET) Four buddies who toil at a magazine (Danny Masterson, James Lesure, Michael Cassidy, and Adam Busch) serve as each others’ wingmen in life and love.

JULY

• Perception (TNT, July 9, 10 p.m. ET) Eric McCormack (right) plays a neuroscience professor— brilliant but schizophrenic—who helps an FBI friend and former student (Rachael Leigh Cook) solve crimes.

• Political Animals (USA, July 15, 10 p.m. ET) Sigourney Weaver stars as a former ﬁrst lady turned secretary of state battling to keep a reporter (Carla Gugino) from exposing family problems in this six-episode miniseries. So is Weaver channeling Hillary Clinton? “Not at all,” she says. “My character, Elaine Barrish Hammond, is her own woman.” In fact, Weaver sees her as a composite—and a role model. “Women lead differently than men,” she says. “It’s more collegial. I hope women ﬁnd the show empowering, because we’ve got a lot of work to do.” • 3 (CBS, July 22, 9 p.m. ET) Could it be—a dating show that (sort of) resembles reality? Three women audition men, go on dates, and bond over their romantic road bumps. AUGUST

• Star Next Door (The CW, mid-August) Singers like Gloria Estefan and John Rich not only mentor budding talents—they move in with them! “We immerse ourselves in what they do day to day,” says Rich. “If it’s a single mom who needs help changing the diapers, I’ll be the diaper-changer. It’s a really nuts-and-bolts approach to ﬁnding a superstar.” Queen Latifah executive-produces.

• Major Crimes (TNT, Aug. 13, 10 p.m. ET) This spin-off from The Closer brings back Mary McDonnell (left) as LAPD captain Sharon Raydor, in a series that shows how police and prosecutors work together to get convictions.

JUNE

• Take Me Out (Fox, June 7, 8 p.m. ET)

Fonda). “It’s an idealistic look at the news,” Sorkin says. “They’re trying to channel the days of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite.”

George Lopez hosts this dating series featuring 30 women looking for love and bachelors who must make the ultimate ﬁrst impression.

• Push Girls (Sundance Channel,

• Bunheads (ABC Family, June 11,

9 p.m. ET) A Vegas showgirl (Sutton Foster) relocates to her husband’s town and takes a job at her mother-in-law’s dance school in this dramedy. And just what is a bunhead? “Someone who spends her life in tights and a leotard, with her hair in a bun,” Foster explains. “It’s a lifestyle!” p.m. ET) ET) • Dallas (TNT, June 13, 9 p.m. ss “There’s been a seamless s,” transition of deviousness,” says Linda Gray, who al returns from the original series (along with Larry Hagman, right, Patrick Duffy, and others) for this reboot about oil,

betrayal, and Ewing family values. Josh Henderson, Jesse Metcalfe, and Jordana Brewster are among the second-generation schemers.

• The Newsroom (HBO, June 24, 10 p.m. ET) The West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin brings his hallmarks—workplace romance and a rat-a-tat dialogue—to this series se about a cable TV news show. Jeff Daniels (above) is a moderate m Republican anwh chor whose attacks on the extre tremists in his party delight his old-ﬂame producer (Emily Mortimer) but anger his CEO (Jane

June 4, 10 p.m. ET) This documentary series focuses on four young women who refuse to be limited by the fact that they’re in wheelchairs.

• Saving Hope (NBC, June 7, 10 p.m. ET) A hospital’s chief of surgery (Michael Shanks) lands in a coma (though his spirit seems to be roaming the halls) and his fiancée and fellow surgeon (Erica Durance) must fight for his life. “They’re on a journey to find each other again,” says Durance.

• Anger Management (FX, June 28,

9 p.m. ET) After his public meltdown and exit from Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen (below) returns to prime time as Charlie Goodson, a hot-headed ex-ballplayer who’s now a therapist. “He has deﬁnitely pulled himself together,” series creator Bruce Helford (The Drew Carey Show) says of his star. “He knows he has a lot to prove, and he’s working harder than I’ve ever seen an actor work.”

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: DONALD KRAVITZ/GETTY IMAGES; KAREN NEAL FOR TNT; TNT; GREG GAYNE/FX NETWORKS; MELISSA MOSELEY/HBO; ZADE ROSENTHAL/TBS

Summer TV offerings Preview New this season WHAT TO WATCH

—Steve Daly, Kathy Heintzelman, Erin Hill, and Mary Margaret 10 • May 20, 2012

COVER AND INSIDE PHOTOS: STYLING, MARYA TALBOT; GROOMING, STEPHANIE DANIEL. STILL FROM HATFIELDS & MCCOYS: CHRIS LARGE

Kevin Costner | from page 9

night, and the next day we went to the funeral. I was writing [my eulogy] on the plane, in the limo, in bed. It was important. When I ﬁrst walked into that church, it was electric, man. The band was going, the people were moving. I started [speaking] with the idea that sometimes what you think life will be it won’t be at all, and about what was real between Whitney and me, what we talked about— being in church when we were little, both getting in trouble, about our not wanting to be preachers. “Don’t let me be a preacher!” I wanted to impart a bit of the Whitney that I knew, and maybe people could think about her in a different way. You held off ﬁlming The Bodyguard for a year to wait for her.

You don’t do that for everybody. And it was a pretty seminal moment for Whitney. I was told that the movie made a big impression on the black community because I took Whitney in my arms and kissed her, not as a black woman but as a beautiful woman. That’s how I saw her. You and Whitney were both raised Baptist. Do you still pray?

Yes, because I realize I have been very lucky. I feel that there has been a hand over my life. I haven’t lived a perfect life. I have regrets. But that’s from a lifetime of taking chances, making decisions, and trying not to be frozen. The only thing that I can do with my regrets is understand them. When I see my children, and when I see the people who value me, I know how lucky I am. I think, “Where did that luck come from?” And so I give thanks for the life I’ve lived. continued on page 14

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Has an act of kindness changed your life? Tell us at Parade.com /kindness

By Colin L. Powell

Kindness Works

any years ago I was the warden—the senior lay person—of a small suburban Episcopal church in northern Virginia. During that time, the bishop assigned to our parish an elderly priest, in some kind of distress and in need of a parish, to serve as an assistant pastor. I never knew the nature of his problem. We just welcomed him into the church, treated him as one of us, and ministered to him, just as we ministered to one another. He was with us for a year. On his last Sunday, he was assigned the sermon. As he finished, he looked out over the congregation and with a smile on his face quietly concluded, “Always show more kindness than the employees were seems necessary, immigrants and ASK ANY because the person VETERAN THE minorities making receiving it needs it minimum wage. NAME OF more than you will The attendants HIS DRILL ever know.” That had never seen a SERGEANT sentence hit me AND HE WILL secretary wandering with a special force around the garage KNOW IT. that has remained before; they thought with me for four decades. His les- I was lost. They asked if I needed son was clear: Kindness is not just help getting back “home.” I told about being nice; it’s about recog- them no. I just wanted to chat. nizing another human being who After a while, I asked them a deserves care and respect. question about their jobs that had Much later, when I was secre- puzzled me. Because the garage tary of state, I slipped away one was too small for all the employees’ day from my beautiful office cars, the attendants had to stack and vigilant security agents and cars one behind the other. “When snuck down to the garage, where the cars come in every morning,

Colin Powell in Mumbai, India, in 1997, making kindness count.

how do you decide whose car is the first to get out, and whose ends up second or third?” They gave each other knowing looks and little smiles. “Mr. Secretary,” one of them said, “it goes like this: When you drive in, if you lower the window, look out, smile, or know our name, you’re number one to get out. But if you look straight ahead, don’t show you see us or that we are doing something for you, well, you are likely to be one of the last to get out.” At my next staff meeting, I shared this story with my senior leaders. “You can never err by treating everyone in the building with respect, thoughtfulness, and

a kind word,” I told them. It ain’t brain surgery. Every person in an organization has value and wants that value to be recognized. Everyone needs appreciation and reinforcement. Taking care of employees is perhaps the best form of kindness. Being kind doesn’t mean being soft. When young soldiers go to basic training, they meet a drill sergeant who seems to be their worst nightmare. They are terrified. But all that changes. The sergeant is with them every step of the way, teaching, cajoling, enforcing, bringing out the strength and confidence they didn’t know they had. When they graduate, they leave with an emotional bond they will never forget. Ask any veteran the name of his drill sergeant and he will know it. (My ROTC camp drill sergeant almost 55 years ago was Staff Sgt. Artis Westberry.) I believe that if you develop a reputation for kindness, even the most unpleasant decisions will go down easier. People will realize that your decision must be necessary and is not arbitrary or made without empathy. As the old saying goes, “To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” Adapted from Colin Powell’s new book, It Worked for Me (HarperCollins)

PHOTO: SHERWIN CRASTO/AP IMAGES

How someone down on his luck taught Colin Powell a lifelong lesson

12 • May 20, 2012

It scares other bacon to bits.

Introd oduccin ng neew Ossca ar Ma Maye y r Butch cher e Thi hick ck Cutt Bacon. Th Thes esee he hear arty ty,, thick cuts are han a d trimmed and smoked with na atural hardwood ds for up to 14 4 ho hours. Ladies and gentlemen en,, this is bacon.. ÂŠ 2012 2012 K raft raf Food Fo oo ods

I want to live forever, and I know I won’t. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m only afraid of one thing: not being able to raise my kids. When I pray, that’s what I pray for—that I be the one who raises Grace, Hayes, and Cayden. How are your older kids?

My son Joe just got his ﬁrst job out of college—he’s a sound engineer at a music studio. I’m so proud of Joe, Lily, and Annie. Annie told me something that I found really moving. When she went away to college in Chile, we changed her last name because we thought it’d be better for her down there not to have any connection [to me]. Then Annie called and said, “I’ve spent my whole life not wanting to lean on my name. But the minute it was taken away from me, it really bothered me. I miss our name.” What she said was so beautiful. Your second wife, Christine, badly wanted children, and you didn’t want more, right?

Yes. She said, “I’m going to wait for you, but not long. When you come to your senses, come back to me.” [laughs] And I did. What makes your marriage work?

LOVE ON THE LINKS With his wife, Christine, and their younger son, Hayes, at a golf tournament in 2011.

released in 1987, did you know that you had become a big movie star?

I was aware that good things were happening to me. It was a big moment. But I never wanted to be the No. 1 person. That comes and goes. I just wanted to be in the room where the decision was made, so that when I wanted to make a ﬁlm, I made it. Why did you want to make Hatfields & McCoys?

As we get further and further removed from history, people start to think these stories weren’t true—that the Hatﬁelds and McCoys were a comic. But no— these were people who came out

Maybe it’s the ability to say you’re sorry. I know that sounds so simple. If you’re willing to tell somebody that you love them, are you also willing to say you’re sorry? You need to, even when you think you’re in the right. When The Untouchables was

To see Costner in his classic roles over the years, scan this tag with your smartphone.

of the Civil War, which was the root of so many problems. So to give authenticity and perspective to that story was interesting to me. You know, these are very easy people to make fun of. They have beards; they’re ultra-religious; they talk funny. But these people and their descendants were judges and senators. It’s like what started the feud—one of the reasons was a pig trial. It’s easy for us to laugh at that, right? But a pig could feed a family for 30 days. And today people will go to court if their view in Malibu is obstructed. Anybody who watches [the miniseries] will know that the Hatﬁelds and the McCoys are part of the American fabric.

DR. OZ’S

Transformation Nation: Million Dollar You

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Have you ever thought about running for ofﬁce?

I would never do it. Ego has slipped so far into the political landscape that it’s usurped the idea of public service. A good idea for one party is a bad idea for another—it has to be defeated. Do I have the mentality to govern? I think I do, but not in the system that exists. I would be frustrated. What do you love about the career you’ve chosen?

I’ve always felt performanceoriented. If you compare acting to a sports moment, where you’re down to the last shot or pitch, a lot of people wouldn’t want to be in that situation. I’ve always liked it. I’ve never thought as much about the things that could go wrong as what can possibly go right.

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Kevin Costner | from page 11

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