Parade 12-15 by The Southern Illinoisan

S U N D AY, D E C E M B E R 2 5 , 2 0 1 1

A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS STORY

Deb Shearer, center, with four members of the organ donor chain that bears her son’s name

PARADE

Parade.com/celebrity Parade.com/celebri

classic has had over 60 English-language adaptations on the big and small screens since its ﬁrst known appearance on ﬁlm, in 1901. Q: Kathy Bates always plays such strong, gutsy, women. What’s her personality really like? —Mike D.,

P Edyta Sliwinska

Q: What has happened to my favorite Dancing with the Stars pro, Edyta Sliwinska? —Alli Flaherty,

Santa Monica, Calif.

A: “I’ve had that spunky

St. Paul, Minn.

A: Since leaving the ABC

hit last year after 10 seasons, Sliwinska, 30, has focused on Dancing Pros, the production company she formed with her husband. Their latest endeavor is a theater show called Dance Temptation. “It’s the story of how a couple’s relationship is tested as they travel the world experiencing different cultures through famous dance styles,” she says. Q: How many times has the story of A Christmas Carol been ﬁlmed, including movies like Scrooged and Ebbie? —Scott Richardson, Buffalo

A: Excluding ﬁlmed plays

and live broadcasts but including parodies and pastiches, the Dickens

P The Muppet Christmas Carol 2 • December 25, 2011

With a furry friend, circa 1980

Doris Day

She discusses big bands, Paul McCartney, and much more at Parade .com/day

streak in me for years, but it’s been hit and miss due to my southern upbringing— being too polite and respectful of authority,” says the Memphis-bred actress, 63, who stars on NBC’s Harry’s Law and plays

egf PARADE SWEEPSTAKES IT’S A WE BOUGHT A ZOO FANTASY TRIP!

You could win an amazing family trip for four. Spend the night at the San Diego Zoo for an after-hours adventure with animals, camping activities, and more. Enter at Parade.com/zoo. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter and for full rules, visit www.parade.com/zoo. Starts 3 p.m. EST, 12/22/11, and ends 3 p.m. EST, 1/20/12. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States (D.C.) 18 years and older, except employees of Sponsors and their immediate families and those living in the same household. Odds of winning depend on the number of entries received. Void outside the 50 United States (D.C.) and where prohibited. Sponsors: Parade Publications and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

The star, 87, has a new album, My M Heart, H t ffeaturing t i previously unreleased songs (all proceeds go to the Doris Day Animal Foundation). She talks with Roger Friedman about music and her leading men. You selected the tunes for this album, many of which were produced by your late son, Terry Melcher. But back in the day, you didn’t get to pick, did you? They used to tell us what to do. If it was a bad song and I had to do it, I just did the best I could. I sang because I loved to sing. “Que Sera, Sera” is now in the Grammy Hall of Fame. At first I thought it was kind of a silly song for that film [Hitchcock’s The Man Who Knew Too Much]. But it was good in the movie, and people sang it to their children. Let’s talk about your costars. What was Cary Grant like? Cary was very nice, but we didn’t sit around and talk. At lunchtime, he would go outside with that thing you put under your chin for the sun [a reflector], because he didn’t want to wear makeup. Who did you hang around with? Rock Hudson? We really liked each other. He named me Eunice, just for fun. When he was ill, he came to my show [Doris Day’s Best Friends], and at first I didn’t know who he was. He was gaunt. I was almost in tears. But we walked and laughed together. It just about put me away—it’s so hard to be funny when you know what’s going to happen. Email your questions to Walter Scott at Parade.com/contact. Letters can be sent to P.O. Box 5001, Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10163-5001.

P Kathy Bates

Gertrude Stein in Midnight in Paris (now on DVD). She credits her TV role with bringing out her sassy side: “Playing Harry Korn, I speak my mind more and more. I am loving the new me!”

Is it true that Johnny Depp owns his own island? —Jeff Swanson, Lake Stevens, Wash.

Yes! In 2004, he bought a 45-acre paradise in the Bahamas (left) for $3.6 million, as a place where he can “disappear” with family and friends. See photos of other celeb-owned isles at Parade.com/islands.

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: ADAM LARKEY/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES; COURTESY OF CW3PR; DAVID LIVINGSTON/GETTY IMAGES; VLADI PRIVATE ISLANDS/WWW.VLADI-PRIVATE-ISLANDS.DE; EVERETT COLLECTION. ILLUSTRATION: LUIS GRAÑENA

Personality Walter Scott,s

Visit us at PARADE.COM

Prices valid through 12/31/11

FREE PHONES

WITH QUALIFYING 2-YEAR PLAN & DATA PACK.

FREET

Samsung Infuse 4G New or upgrade. Requires $15/mo.+ data pack.

DROID INCREDIBLE 2 by HTC New or upgrade. Requires $30/mo.+ data pack.

Samsung Stratosphere New or upgrade. Requires $30/mo.+ data pack.

17-6658 $499.99 unactivated.

™

FREET

LG Enlighten New or upgrade. Requires $30/mo.+ data pack. ™

17-6665 $399.99 unactivated.

FREET

17-6666 $299.99 unactivated.

17-6682 $299.99 unactivated.

Pantech Hotshot™ New or upgrade.

LG Cosmos™ 2 New or upgrade.

LG Marquee™ New customers only. Requires $10/mo. Premium Data add-on.

17-6297 $649.99 unactivated.

17-6656 $599.99 unactivated.

FREET

™

FREET

17-6494 $399.99 unactivated.

FREET

Black 17-6091, Red 17-6429 $549.99 unactivated.

17-6299 $549.99 unactivated.

17-6458 $399.99 unactivated.

FREET

17-6496 $349.99 unactivated.

17-1363 $349.99 unactivated.

HTC Inspire 4G New or upgrade. Requires $15/mo.+ data pack. ™

4G BlackBerry® Torch™ 9810 New or upgrade. Requires $15/mo.+ data pack.

LG Thrill 4G New or upgrade. Requires $15/mo.+ data pack. ™

Kyocera Milano™ New or upgrade. Requires $10/mo. Premium Data add-on.

Samsung Transform™ Ultra New customers only. Requires $10/mo. Premium Data add-on.

LG Optimus S™ New or upgrade. Requires $10/mo. Premium Data add-on.

17-6306 $579.99 unactivated. While they last.

RADIOSHACK.COM/STORELOCATOR

blog.radioshack.com

All carrier/phone availability varies by location. Coverage not available everywhere. 4G in select markets only; defaults to 3G/other network when not available. Price requires credit approval and may require deposit. Subject to carrier agreement Terms & Conditions, including up to $36 activation/upgrade and up to $350 early-termination fees per line. Monthly access, data, overage, taxes and other charges apply. See store or carrier website for coverage maps/details. ©2011 AT&T Intellectual Property. All rights reserved. AT&T, AT&T logo and all other AT&T marks contained herein are the trademarks of AT&T Intellectual Property and/or AT&T affiliated companies. SPRINT and the logo are trademarks of Sprint. ©2011 Verizon Wireless. DROID is a trademark of Lucasfilm Ltd. and its related companies. Used under license. LTE is a trademark of ETSI.

your guide to health, life,

Parade Picks

from director Stephen Daldry (The Hours). Searching for the message he thinks his dad (Tom Hanks) has left him, young Oskar (newcomer Thomas Horn, quite exceptional himself) learns to connect in new ways with strangers, the grandfather he’s never known, and even his mother (Sandra Bullock).

ney entertainm money, entertainment, and more THE SPIRIT LIVES ON (AND ON)

In Santa Claus, Ind., every road boasts a Santa statue.

P Music

UNDUN

The Roots ($14) Hard-hitting

beats and melancholy melodies dominate the hiphoppers’ most ambitious album yet, a rap-driven symphony about a young man reﬂecting on the mistakes and bad decisions that led to his downfall. It’s music with a message— the message being that the Roots are still among the boldest and most inventive acts in the genre.

P Movies

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE

(rated PG-13) The best seller

The 365 Days of Christmas

or doug isaacson, wear-

hoping to attract a theme park or a toy ing a Santa tie year-round is manufacturer eager to label dolls and pretty much a job require- games “made in North Pole.” Isaacson ment. Isaacson is the mayor proudly notes the streetlights shaped like of North Pole, Alaska, one of a handful candy canes, the world’s tallest Santa of towns—like Santa Claus, Ind., Christ- statue, and the holly bough sign on the mas, Mich., and Frankenmuth, Mich.— Mt. McKinley Bank. Christmas even where it’s Christmas all year long. “People ﬁnds its way into the town’s Fourth of keep their decorations and trees up all the July festivities. The theme this year: time. I think those who feel ‘bah humbug’ “Sleigh bells ring for freedom!” But when about Christmas wouldn’t be happy here,” every day is Christmas, does Dec. 25 says Santa Claus resident Pat Koch. All become more ho-hum than ho-ho? of this yuletide spirit makes “Santa makes himself availgood business sense. When able in the afternoon so the See more North Pole (pop. 2,117) was kids can say thanks, but it is a over-the-top settled in the 1940s, it was quiet day,” admits Isaacson. Christmas displays at Parade.com called Davis; the town fathers “We’re all nestled snug at /xmas rechristened it in 1953, home.” —Joanne Kaufman 4 • December 25, 2011

about an extraordinary boy who loses his father on 9/11 gets a thoughtful, lifeafﬁrming screen treatment

CARNAGE (rated R) If you think argu-

ments at your house can get ugly, spend a little time with the couples played by (above, from left) Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly, Christoph Waltz, and Kate Winslet. As they sort out some trouble between their schoolmate sons, their veneer of civility shatters spectacularly and often hilariously. Roman Polanski directs this adaptation of the Tony-winning play God of Carnage.

PARADE’s All-American Pie Contest Winners These home bakers won over our judges with their twists on the classic pies featured in our Nov. 13 issue. THE PIE

THE WINNER

THE TWIST

Apple

Christine DiNova, N.Y.

Cherry

Barbara Wheeler, Mich.

White chocolate

Choc. Walnut

Sally Sibthorpe, Mich.

Cherries

Key Lime

Kathleen Beebout, Iowa

Macadamia nuts

Pecan

Kandy Lounsbury, N.Y.

Coconut

Pumpkin

Nancy Snyder, Mich.

Cornmeal

Sweet Potato

Sara Wyse, Minn.

Gingersnap crust

Bourbon sauce

Get these winning recipes, plus honorable mentions, at Parade.com/pie

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT; COURTESY OF SPENCER COUNTY VISITORS BUREAU; ISTOCKPHOTO.COM; NO CREDIT; GUY FERRANDIS/SONY PICTURES CLASSICS; JOHNNY MILLER

Report INTELLIGENCE E

Visit us at PARADE.COM

IMPORTANT FACTS

(prem-uh-rin)

Uninsured? Need help paying for Pfizer medicine? Pfizer has programs that can help. Call 1-866-706-2400 or visit www.PfizerHelpfulAnswers.com.

Rx Only

Ask Marilyn By Marilyn vos Savant

I manage a drug-testing program for an organization with 400 employees. Every three months, a randomnumber generator selects 100 names for testing. Afterward, these names go back into the selection pool. Obviously, the probability of an employee being chosen in one quarter is 25 percent. But what’s the likelihood of being chosen over the course of a year? —Jerry Haskins, Vicksburg, Miss.

The probability remains 25 percent, despite the repeated testing. One might think that as the number of tests grows, the likelihood of being chosen increases, but as long as the size of the pool remains the same, so does the probability. Goes against your intuition, doesn’t it?

Cartoon

DAVE COVERLY. ILLUSTRATION: GRAFILU

Parade

“No, dear, Santa doesn’t really see you when you’re sleeping ... but he does check your Facebook updates.” Visit Visit us us at at PARADE.COM PARADE.COM

LINDA BENSON

ALAN WEST husband of Barb BARB WEST donated to Linda

GERRY MURDOCK donated to Samir

SUHAD SHATARA donated to Alan

SAMIR KARADSHEH brother of Suhad

SHALISA SANDERS donated to Fielding

CAROLYN MURDOCK wife of Gerry

FIELDING DANIEL husband of Amy AMY DANIEL donated to Carolyn

ROSA SANDERS mother of Shalisa

DEB SHEARER donated to Rosa

E’ ORG

O AI N

F L I FE

AFTER A TRAGEDY TOOK HER SON, DEB SHEARER HONORED HIS LIFE BY HELPING TRANSFORM THOSE OF 11 OTHERS. MEET ONE EXTRAORDINARY “EXTENDED FAMILY,” LINKED BY COURAGE, GENEROSITY, AND LOVE. By Kate Braestrup COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY KWAKU ALSTON

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS NEAL

LETTERING BY JESSICA HISCHE

THE GREATEST

n the winter of 2010, Deb Shearer, then a healthy of compassion that would change the lives of six families. 45-year-old mother of three, ﬂew from her home near Nearly 60 years after the ﬁrst successful kidney transplant, the Jacksonville, Fla., to Birmingham, Ala. There, in a procedure still represents a pretty spiffy bit of surgical wizardry, surgical procedure known as a nephrectomy, one of but science alone can’t make a miracle happen—for that, you need Deb’s kidneys was snipped from its moorings, a healthy dose of generosity and love, and one ordinary Opposite, the placed in a pan of cool saltwater, and carried person doing an extraordinary thing. Deb didn’t expect 12 members across the hallway, where it was grafted into the body to become part of an altruistic donor chain. “I just of the altruistic of a woman Deb had never laid eyes on. The transthought it would help my family heal,” she says. “And donor chain known plant took place almost exactly four years after the I thought I was going to be doing something for one as George’s Chain of Life, which began death of Deb’s son George. He was 22 years old. “I person, not a dozen!” nearly two years ago loved my son,” says Deb, a coordinator for the PGA In a little less than two years, George’s Chain of Life, when Deb Shearer Tour. “He inspired me to make a difference.” The as it has become known, has brought together people donated her kidney in power of that inspiration not only led to the transfrom all walks of life. Six kidney recipients—Rosa honor of her late son, George. plant but also set in motion a remarkable ripple Sanders, Fielding Daniel, Carolyn Murdock, Samir

Visit us at PARADE.COM

December 25, 2011 • 9

The Greatest Gift | from page 9

■ A Bit About Kidneys

and the recipient have to share certain precise characteristics; otherwise, the new organ could trigger the recipient’s immune system to launch a war against it. This is why patients often spend so long on transplant waiting lists. And though a kidney can come from a recently deceased donor across the country, one from a living donor is preferred, in part because the organ is a whole lot fresher. In Deb’s case, it was mere moments and a short walk down a hallway before one of her kidneys was placed into the already prepped body of a gravely ill woman named Rosa Sanders.

A healthy human comes into the world with two kidneys, ■ The First Link fist-size organs whose funcRosa’s kidneys had failed due to high blood tions include regulating the pressure, a problem that ran in her family—her body’s fluid levels, maintainfather died of kidney failure in his 40s. In a ing the proper acid-base balvicious bit of catch-22, the demands of dialysis ance in the blood, and rinsing treatment meant that Rosa, 51, of Sawyerville, Deb Shearer with her husband, Tyler, and their three children, George (top), Josh (left), and Hayden, away metabolic waste. Ala., was no longer able to work as a loom in their last family photo together, taken in 2004. Kidney failure, which can operator. Without the health insurance coverage be caused by conditions rangher job provided, she struggled to manage her Karadsheh, Alan West, and Linda Benson— ing from infection to diabetes to injury, affects condition. “I could no longer afford to get dialysis were each offered new life by six strangers who 485,000 people in this country, killing more done at the hospital, so I took classes so I could thereby became kin. This is their story. than 70,000 every year. The vast majority of administer it to myself,” says Rosa. those who survive do so by chaining themselves She desperately needed a kidney. Her daugh■ A Son Named George to a grueling, painful treatment known as ter Shalisa Sanders, 31, a research assistant at Allowing the Department of Motor Vehicles hemodialysis (or simply dialysis), the University of Alabama, was to affix an organ donor sticker to your driver’s which requires being hooked up willing to give one of hers, but “I THOUGHT license is fairly painless. But donating a kidney, to a machine that filters waste I WAS GOING TO she proved incompatible. NeverBE DOING especially to a total stranger, while you’re still from the blood for hours at a theless, Shalisa decided to regisSOMETHING using it is something else entirely. time. Still, thanks to dialysis, the ter herself and Rosa with the FOR ONE Deb knew more about medical risks than most. parents, siblings, spouses, and Alliance for Paired Donation, PERSON, NOT A She and her husband, Tyler, had watched, helpless, friends of those receiving the which matches potential donors ” as their son George, who’d survived a serious car treatment can put off grieving, at and recipients. accident, succumbed not to his original injuries least for a while. The patient has As it turned out, Shalisa’s —Deb Shearer but to overwhelming infection. He died in the no choice but to endure it until a kidney was exactly right for a ICU minutes before being taken to surgery. flesh-and-blood kidney becomes available for 50-year-old father of three from Rocky Mount, “I was petrified,” admits Deb, who decided transplant—a wait typically lasting five years, N.C., named Fielding Daniel, whose organs had to become a donor once she discovered that which is also when the odds of survival on failed as the result of a disorder known as George—whom she describes as an animated dialysis begin to drop dramatically. Berger’s Disease. Upon hearing they had been young man known for his sense of humor and A successful kidney transplant is a tricky matched, Shalisa agreed to help this stranger, an “ability to make everyone around him feel thing. Although it is relatively safe as surgeries act of generosity duplicated by Fielding’s wife, special”—had wanted to be one but couldn’t go, it is still a major procedure performed under Amy. Amy Daniel, 50, had proved to be a poor because of the state of his organs at the time of general anesthesia, with all the attendant risks: match for her husband, so even before his transhis death. “My husband had a lot of hesitation damage to adjoining organs, hemorrhage, plant she donated a kidney to Carolyn Murdock, about letting me do this, and my other kids adverse reactions to anesthesia, and infection. also found through the Alliance for Paired were really afraid,” she says. After such a trauIt’s also not quite as simple as taking a disDonation. “When I met Carolyn after the surmatic loss, what could possibly motivate her to eased organ out of one body and replacing it gery, I saw the look of relief on her face because place herself in the hands of any doctor? “After with a healthy one from another. The donor she didn’t have to go continued on page 13

DOZEN!

COVER: KWAKU ALSTON; STYLING, ERIN MACKAY; HAIR AND MAKEUP, CAROLA GONZALES. OPENING SPREAD, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: TJ HAMILTON/ GR PRESS (2); MELISSA DUNSTAN; KWAKU ALSTON (3); ALISA LYNN (2); KWAKU ALSTON (2); ALLEN HINNANT (2). THIS PAGE: COURTESY OF DEB SHEARER

the accident, George asked me if he was going to die. I told him, ‘Absolutely not; I am going to take care of you,’ ” says Deb. “When he died, I was so consumed with guilt and anger. I realized that I could either continue along that path, or I could fulfill my promise to my son, but in a much different way.”

10 • December 25, 2011

End high cholesterol ... with apples!

Boost your energy levels ... with breakfast!

Reverse bone loss ... with plums!

“Belly fat going ... ” going ... GONE! (Peachtree City, GA) If you want to discover natural solutions to an expanding waistline, low energy, and slow metabolism, you need The Senior’s Guide to Metabolism, an informative new book just released to the public by FC&A Medical Publishing® in Peachtree City, Georgia. Discover the foods that control your hunger for hours and hours; the 4 ways you can prevent cancer, heart disease, and diabetes; 10 easy steps to boosting your energy; and more! Before running to the doctor, grab this book! The authors provide many health tips with full explanations. 䉴 Improve your sleep, energy, mood, and memory – in just 11 minutes. 䉴 Good news! The most dangerous fat on your body is actually the easiest to lose! 䉴 Remember when ... you could remember more? How to revitalize your memory! 䉴 One simple snack food can help lower your blood pressure and cholesterol! 䉴 This one thing is proven to fight the fat around your middle — helping you stay thinner and healthier — for life! 䉴 The Biblical food that actually triggers your body to release a hunger-squashing hormone, so you eat less and feel full. 䉴 This 50-cent meal can keep your arteries clear, provide your first line of defense against stroke, help you lose weight, and more! 䉴 Just 2 glasses a day of (you won’t believe this — but it’s true!) lowers your cholesterol — and prevents heart attacks, too! 䉴 One easy thing you can do every day to lower your cholesterol! It’s not taking drugs or seeing a doctor! 䉴 Belly fat melts away ... arteries clear ... blood sugar drops ... and you’re invigorated with more energy than you ever thought possible!

䉴 Quick ... which food helps you reduce belly fat, protects against major illnesses, keeps blood sugar stable, and protects your eyesight in old age? 䉴 Want to keep your mind sharp? Evidence is mounting that you really can prevent mental decline. 䉴 The next super food of the fruit world! It’s cheap. It’s sweet. It has disease-fighting power. And you may already have it in your fridge! 䉴 How your pillow can relieve backache, leg cramps, heartburn, and neck pain! 䉴 The best breakfast food ever! Lowers cholesterol and protects against weight gain, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes! 䉴 Can’t resist that extra dessert? Learn from the Amish. Their diet is rich in fatty foods and sweets, yet they have fewer weight problems than most other people. 䉴 Four must-have items for your spice rack protect you against almost all diseases of aging! 䉴 When losing the weight around the middle, it’s often not how much you eat, but what you eat! 䉴 Just 2 glasses a day of this delicious, inexpensive, low-calorie juice is enough to help keep dangerous artery-clogging cholesterol from forming. 䉴 Keep arteries slick as a whistle with 5 delicious, low-cost foods! 䉴 The hidden factor behind Alzheimer’s, cancer, diabetes, irritable bowel, heart disease, and more — and what you can do about it now! 䉴 Weight-loss stunner: Eating one kind of fruit before meals stimulates weight loss! 䉴 Don’t accelerate aging! You can slow it down simply by getting enough of one thing. 䉴 The simple touch cure that boosts immune response, eases pain, reduces fatigue, and lowers blood pressure. 䉴 What to do, eat, and drink before bed — 5 simple steps to a perfect night’s sleep! 䉴 Significantly lowered total cholesterol, triglycerides, insulin, and blood sugar levels! Just a

handful of these dried fruits could do it! 䉴 5 all-star artery-clearing foods that hit cholesterol right out of the ballpark. 䉴 Take this powerful nutrient at the first sign of memory loss, and you may help prevent brainclogging plaques from forming. 䉴 Slash heart disease risk by an astounding 90%! Works even if you’re already over 40! 䉴 Burn up to 500 extra calories a day — without breaking a sweat — and lose all the weight you want! 䉴 Take control of your blood pressure with these 3 minerals and you’ll also say “bye-bye” to your high risk of heart disease and stroke. 䉴 7 secrets to staying slim for life. How you can keep the weight off for good! 䉴 Improve your arteries today! Adding just one thing to your meals can increase the flexibility of your blood vessels. 䉴 40% less likely to get Alzheimer’s. Did a drug make this remarkable difference? Nope. It was food. Learn all these amazing secrets and more. To order a copy, just return this coupon with your name and address and a check for $9.99 plus $3.00 shipping and handling to: FC&A, Dept. VM-3673 103 Clover Green, Peachtree City, GA 30269. We will send you a copy of The Senior’s Guide to Metabolism. You get a no-time-limit guarantee of satisfaction or your money back. You must cut out and return this notice with your order. Copies will not be accepted! IMPORTANT — FREE GIFT OFFER EXPIRES JANUARY 31, 2012 All orders mailed by January 31, 2012 will receive a free gift, Super Health Secrets: 101 Things You Should Never Do, guaranteed. Order right away! ©FC&A 2011 www.fca.com

Parade.com/views

O Come, All Ye Stocking Lovers

Stitching the family together with a little felt, a scattering of glitter, an angel or two— and this year, a heavenly lobster claw

f you didn’t know

our family, you might look at all the Christmas stockings dangling from our mantel and think we have 12 kids and enough animals to stock a petting zoo. My husband, Sherrod, likes to point this out to me, year after year. Year after year, I ignore him. I hang homemade stockings for everyone in our family, including our four grown children, pets past and present, and any new relatives who’ve joined us. In the middle of it all, Sherrod’s childhood stocking hangs next to mine. Sherrod’s a little touchy about this, as my stocking is large and glittery while his is the size of a girl’s kneesock and reads “Mer Christmas.” An impartial observer might compare our stockings and think I was more loved as a child. “Nobody thinks that,” Sherrod says. “Besides, you made your own stocking when you were a kid. Who does that?” The smart eldest daughter, that’s who. The annual Christmas stocking exhibit in our house takes weeks of planning. I want everyone to feel included and very, very special. This requires constant vigilance.

Recently, for example, our 3-year-old grandson was watching a storm brewing outside. A family friend thought he would describe to Clayton what was happening. “Clayton, look,” he said, pointing to the sky. “That’s ice falling.” Clayton sighed. “Actually,” he said, “that’s hail.” Yikes! Immediately, I knew I’d have to alter his stocking. Days after Clayton was born, I cut out his stocking from the same pattern I had used for my children. I appliquéd a Christmas tree with a bright yellow star and stitched two presents under it cut from the plaid fabric of his father’s childhood coat. Clayton’s is the only stocking I’ve made for the kids that doesn’t have a face. I blame that on the Christmas Crisis of 1991, when Caitlin, then 4, erupted into hysterics because the hand-stitched baby angel on her stocking—designed in her first year of life—had no hair. “She’s bald!” she screamed, tugging her bangs. “I’m not bald!” I quickly added a felt helmet of hair, which made Cait’s angel look like a 50-year-old ﬁfth grader. At 24, she still points that out. Anyway, as soon as I heard Clayton say “hail,” I knew he had

By Connie Schultz

reached the age when he would notice that his was the only stocking without a face. “Why?” I could hear his little voice ask. “Why, Grandma, why?” His new angel will wear a plaid shirt and blue jeans. He will be waving at Grandma. I have to make two more stockings this year. One is for the newest addition to our family, Franklin the puppy. His mother is a 45-pound Lab-husky mix; his father, a 14pound shih tzu. There’s not a joke you can make about their romance that he didn’t hear on the drive home. The other is for our son-in-law, Matt, who married our daughter Emily in June. He’s a tough New Englander, the kind of guy who hugs me as if he’s putting out a campﬁre on my back. He probably doesn’t care whether he has a stocking. However, our daughter-in-law, Stina, already has one, which features a smiling snow-woman with bouncy black hair and fashionable glasses. Here’s the problem: Stina’s stocking is the only one that’s green. This is because I ran out of red felt. Again, it’s about impressions. A stranger could look at it and think, “Hmm, wonder what’s wrong with that girl named Stina.” Nothing at all, which is why, like it or not, Matt is going to have a stocking. It, too, will be green, with a curly-haired lobster motif. What a challenge, by the way. “Oh, oh, oh,” I told Sherrod last week. “I can’t get the claws right.” “Honey,” he said. “Why do you stress out about the kids’ stockings? They’re grown, you know.” See what happens when you grow up with a small stocking?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF FF F FFFFFF FF F FF FF FFFF FFF FF FF FF FFF FF FF FFF FFFF FFFFFF FF FF FFFFF FFF F FFFF FFFF FF FFFFFF FFF FFFFF FFFF FFF FF FF FFF FF FF FF FFFFFFF F FFF FF FFFFFFF F FFFF

PHOTOS: LUIS ERNESTO SANTANA FOR PARADE

Views

12 • December 25, 2011

The Greatest Gift | from page 10

woman at JC Penney in Grand Rapids, to donate as well. Her kidney was found to be through another day of dialysis. When I a match for Alan West, 65, an insurance came home, I said to Fielding, ‘Oh, honey, executive from Grand Rapids who was in you’re going to feel so good again.’ ” the final stage of kidney disease and in dire Carolyn, who lives in Elk Grove, Calif., need of a transplant. “He was in so much has since resumed her former life, working pain,” says Alan’s wife, Barb, 65. “After the at UC Davis as an administrative assistant, transplant, it was like he was reborn.” teaching Sunday school, and playing tennis. Barb then gave a kidney to Linda Benson, The 54-year-old admits her guardian angel 63, a retired cosmetology teacher and beauty turned out to be different from what she’d salon owner from Tusayan, Ariz., who was pictured. “I am black, and I was surprised to born with only one fully formed organ. find out afterwards that Amy was not my Six donors, six recipients, in a chain that race,” she says. “It’s exciting to imagine that will hopefully keep growing as compassion there is one blood running through all of us.” meets luck and perhaps something more divinely inspired. “I was praying to meet ■ The Chain Grows Longer [my] donor in person,” Linda confesses, “but By “all of us,” Carolyn means more than just I was told that we couldn’t meet until after herself, Fielding, and Rosa. Carolyn’s hus- the surgery, and then only if the donor also band, Gerry Murdock, consented.” volunteered his kidney, “LIVING DONATION IS As it turned out, that too, which wound up bedonor, Barb, was waiting SO POWERFUL, ing transplanted into by the hospital elevator IMMEDIATE, AND a man named Samir when she saw a woman Karadsheh. Born in enter the lobby; she had IT GAVE ME Jordan, Samir came to the first noticed her in the AN OPPORTUNITY U.S. in the 1960s and parking lot. Having spent TO FEEL eventually opened a resso much time with her taurant in Grand Rapids, husband during his illness, Mich. After a trip to she easily recognized the AT A TIME WHEN I Amman in 2009, he was characteristic look and FELT SO HELPLESS.” —Amy Daniel diagnosed with a bactehobbled gait of a dialysis rial infection that led to patient. The woman’s eyes kidney failure. He was in a coma for three met Barb’s. “I’m having surgery today,” she days, and when he awoke, he began dialysis. explained. “I’m here to get a kidney.” “I couldn’t bear the treatment,” says “I know,” said Barb. “I’m here to give a Samir, who lost his business due to his ill- kidney.” ness. “I felt sick all the time; I could barely leave my home. I couldn’t live like that.” ■ The Strength of Their Bond Samir’s wife, Raeda, was powerless to help— Though they had the right to refuse, each of she’d had a cancerous polyp and was not the six pairs of donors and recipients in eligible to donate. Neither were six other George’s Chain have met each other, perfriends and relatives. So Samir was in limbo, haps the most meaningful part of this story. waiting for a kidney, until Gerry, 54, a struc- “It was like two friends meeting,” Carolyn tural engineer, stepped in; this prompted says of seeing her donor, Amy Daniel, for Samir’s sister, Suhad Shatara, 65, a sales- the first time. “She said, ‘Now you take care of that kidney.’ I felt like she was doing this just for me.” That those who have received Has organ donation touched kidneys are grateful to the donors seems your life? Share your experience— and send this story to friends—at only natural. What is perhaps surprising is Parade.com/gift. how much gratitude continued on page 15

TWO POWERFUL LAUNDRY FORCES IN ONE DETERGENT PAK.

JOYFUL.

HELPFUL

Visit us at PARADE.COM

NEW ARM & HAMMER® PLUS OXICLEAN® CRYSTAL BURST Deep Cleaning Single-Use Detergent Paks

MANUFACTURER’S COUPON EXPIRES 3/1/12

SAVE $1

on any two (2) ARM & HAMMER® Laundry Detergents Valid only for product, size stated. Limit one coupon per purchase. Consumer must pay sales tax. RETAILER: Only US retail distributors of product stated or others as specifically authorized by us may redeem coupon for face value plus 8¢ handling if terms of offer are met. Upon request, retailer must show invoices for enough stock to cover coupons presented. Cash value 1/100¢. Mail to: Church & Dwight Co., Inc., CMS Dept. #33200, 1 Fawcett Drive, Del Rio, TX 78840. Void where prohibited, taxed, licensed, or restricted; or if copied, altered, or transferred. ©2011 Church & Dwight Co., Inc.

Sunday with ... Do you do anything special

on Sundays? has two great loves: My wife and kids usually go to family and making the movies, and I stay home movies. Balancing alone watching NFL football. My the two is life’s bigThe acclaimed director on family, going to team is St. Louis. [Capshaw and gest challenge, he says, though “the family always comes out the the movies, and the problem with theater popcorn her mother are both from there.] winner.” The father of seven, who Your mom’s turning 92 next is married to actress Kate year, and your dad will be 95 … Capshaw, turned 65 last I feel very lucky to have week, and he’s busier THE MAGIC OF of warfa warfare in the entire film. them in my life right now. MOVIES IS THAT than ever. Besides Everything Everythi else is about the EVERYBODY RYBODY SEES THEM executive-producing connection that Joey, our horse, connecti DIFFERENTLY. I’M What’s the most important TV series such ALWAYS LWAYS SO EXCITED makes b between human beings. thing you learned from them? WHEN SOMEONE as Falling Skies and From my dad, I learned to listen TELLS ELLS ME WHAT A Terra Nova, he has You disco discovered the Tintin books as to others. From my mom, I MOVIE MEANS two new films, the an adult, but when you talk about TO THEM.” learned that if you’re having a World War I–era War your film you sound like a kid. bad day today, you’re more than Horse and the 3-D animated Well, I felt fe like a kid when I was likely going to have a better one The Adventures of Tintin, outt now. making iit. There were so many tomorrow. My mom is irrepressHe spoke with Kate Meyerss from things I could do that I couldn’t ible, and I got a lot of her energy. irectRichmond, Va., where he’s directdo in the live-action world, so it xt ing Daniel Day-Lewis in next was kind kin of like being set loose Tell us about your Norman year’s Lincoln. in a to toy store. Tintin’s a reporter; Rockwell collection. he’s always alw out there looking I have over 30 paintings. George for a ggood story, and he gets Lucas and I combined our collecPARADE How can you work on caught up in the adventures tions, and for six months last year so many projects at once? that he he’s writing about. I’m the they were in the Smithsonian. You know something, it’s noo same w way as a moviemaker. different than raising seven Do you have a favorite? children and going into all of What are some of the holiday The Connoisseur. It’s a rather their rooms and telling each ritual rituals at your house? dapper businessman with of them, every night, individual dual We eat e more than we should his back to us staring at a Jackson stories. Because in my family, y, one and we go out to the movies. Pollock painting and not story does not fit all. Every one understanding anything about of my kids demanded a different erent Do you y get popcorn? it. It hangs in my office, reminding story in a different world. That hat No, because b I put on too me that sometimes the greatest was my training. much weight! What I usually secrets lie in the middle of things do is gget a huge diet drink you can’t quite explain. Why did you want to do War Horse? orse? and na nachos. You might think I think it was the courage, the he cheese-smothered cheese You once said you strength, and the honor thatt nachos would put were born a nervous The director came out of a grotesque war;; on more mo weight wreck; are you still talks about critics these very positive values defi fined than p popcorn, but that way? and which of his films his kids the relationships that War Horse Horse for som some reason they Yes. As I get older, like best at Parade is really about. There’s only don’t. Popcorn P is the I get wiser, but I’m .com/spielberg maybe nine and a half minutes tes bane oof my existence. no calmer.

Steven Spielberg

PHOTO: BRIAN VANDER BRUG/CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES

teven spielberg

14 • December 25, 2011

The Greatest Gift | from page 13

the donors experience. “Living donation gave me an opportunity to feel helpful at a time when I felt so helpless,” Amy says. “It’s so powerful, immediate, and joyful.” Equally powerful is the feeling that George is present in all their lives. In fact, at the PARADE cover shoot, which took place on 11/11/11, a special moment came when the clock struck 11:11.

“George used to always say, ‘It’s 11:11—make a wish,’ ” says Deb. “At that moment, I got chills because I could just feel him all around us.” And though she no longer has her son, Deb knows that his generous spirit lives on through the chain he has inspired. “Every time I hear about a new person who gets a kidney, I feel a huge hug from George.” Kate Braestrup is the author of Marriage and Other Acts of Charity.

WHAT IS A LIVING DONOR CHAIN? Ofﬁcially referred to as a never-ending altruistic donor (NEAD) chain, it begins with a single altruistic organ donor—that is, someone who is willing to give a kidney to one of the more than 87,000 Americans waiting for a transplant. Typically, the recipient has a loved one who wants to donate but is an incompatible match. In turn, the would-be donor gives to another person on

Numbrix

the waiting list, and so on. “NEAD arrangements are an innovative way to increase the number of organs available, but coordinating them can be incredibly complex,” says Dr. Bryan Becker, former president of the National Kidney Foundation. However, in recent years, organizations such as the Kidney Registry and the Alliance for Paired Donation (which facilitated George’s Chain of

Life) have stepped in to help manage the logistics. If you’re interested in becoming a donor, Becker recommends contacting your local transplant hospital and asking about the best way to identify a recipient. “Many are already working hand-in-hand with these organizations and can help you navigate the process.” For more information, go to kidney.org /transplantation /livingdonors. —Jennifer Rainey Marquez

Complete 1 to 81 so the numbers follow a horizontal or vertical path—no diagonals. By Marilyn vos Savant

MORE WAYS TO PLAY!

Print and play a new puzzle every day at Parade.com/numbrix

Visit us at PARADE.COM