8 minute read
hey bears mama
written by | ASHLEE NICHOLSON, TREASURED HEART EVENTS
photos by | AVERY EARL PHOTOGRAPHY
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Hey Mama Bears! Let’s have a quick chat! Whether it is your daughter or your son that is about to say “I Do”, I can only imagine the emotions you are experiencing! As a seasoned wedding planner (and not to mention a recent bride myself!) I often get the privilege of guiding Mothers of the Bride and Groom through what is undoubtedly an amazing moment—the moment you get to watch your child marry their absolute best friend! For some of you, this is your first child to get married, which brings about an entirely new role for you! I’m here to help! There are three main aspects of a wedding that I have found can be a bit overwhelming for moms. I have enlisted the experience of my own sweet Mother and Mother-In-Law to help shed some light on these subjects! I’ve also added my own perspective as a bride and wedding planner for a more holistic view of what to expect!
BEFORE THE WEDDING
From the Mother of the BRIDE: “The most exciting part of the planning process was shopping for my daughter’s wedding dress and finding something that she was just over-themoon about! The toughest part was staying under budget, as I wanted her to have everything that she wanted for her big day! My biggest piece of advice is to remember that it is your daughter’s wedding, not your own. Times have definitely changed from when I got married, so I had to be OK with not being so traditional about doing things the way I did them 30 years ago. It is OK to suggest things, but be prepared for your daughter to say no to your suggestions. Even if you are the one paying for the wedding, your daughter should have her dream wedding not the one that you envision for her. Be supportive of any and all decisions that she makes during the wedding planning process.”
From the Mother of the GROOM: “I loved that my daughter-in-law invited me to things such as dress shopping, cake tasting, flower meetings, and the like. Being included in the planning process created memories I will cherish forever! I highly recommend reserving a rehearsal dinner location as soon as possible. We wanted to make the dinner special for the bride and groom with a few surprises! We had a video that included photos of the bride and groom growing up, but we also included footage of interviews with both sets of parents, and even family members that couldn’t make it to the wedding. It made for
a super fun and memorable rehearsal dinner! Communicate with the bride on design elements to make the rehearsal coordinate with the wedding itself so it truly is a kick-off to their big day!”
From my BRIDE perspective: “I was very lucky that both my mom and fiancé’s mom lived close, so they could be part of the planning process with me! I invited both moms to each event throughout planning, and loved getting to share those memories with whomever could come with me. I also was sure to ask my mom and fiancé’s mom what they hoped to get out of the wedding day itself so I could make sure that our wedding felt like everyone’s opinions were heard!”
From my WEDDING PLANNER perspective: “Having supportive Mothers of the Bride and Groom makes the planning process SO smooth! As a planner, I love when moms come to meetings and help me understand what they are wanting for the wedding, too. Understanding what their expectations are help take some stress off the bride as we plan and get closer to the wedding day itself. My biggest piece of advice to moms is to trust your wedding planner! We have a really unique position that allows us to know which vendors are going to fit well with your budget, style and personality. A great way to build that trust is to help your daughter pick out her planner--find someone you both really love and click with! It will make for a much more enjoyable planning experience!”
YOUR DRESS
From the Mother of the BRIDE: “Picking out my dress was the most stressful part of the wedding. I wanted to match the wedding theme and also feel great in my dress. I asked my daughter for her opinion on colors or styles she wanted to see me in. When shopping, I brought several family members and friends that I trusted to help me pick out my gown, and I did my best to rely on their opinions. Be sure to choose a color that you normally wear. Wedding day is not the time to try grey or tan if you don’t normally wear those colors.”
From the Mother of the GROOM: “I wish I would have started searching for my dress sooner for
the wedding! I talked to the Bride as well as the Mother of the Bride to make sure that my dress wouldn’t clash with their vision or colors. I ended up having my dress designed and custommade, and I am so happy I did!”
From my BRIDE perspective: “After I had picked out my dress, I helped my mom pick out her gown! I had to remind myself to be patient and loving while helping my mom pick out the right dress for her. Even though this was ‘my wedding day’, I wanted my mom to feel comfortable and beautiful on this special day that she and my dad were making possible! Once we nailed down my mom’s dress, I helped my fiancé’s mom design and custom-make her dress. We made minicoffee dates out of her multiple dress fittings and appointments. It ended up being SO great to have that time with my soon-to-be mother-inlaw to talk and bond with her!”
From my WEDDING PLANNER perspective: “Mother of the Bride and Groom colors that will never go out of style are navy, black or other neutral colors! In order to feel and look your absolute best on the wedding day, be sure to start looking for your dress sooner rather than later. It is not worth adding stress to the planning process by not having your dress in time! If you are having trouble picking out a color, look for colors that would look nice next to the bridesmaid’s gowns (ie. if the maids wear blush, consider a gold dress, if the maids wear light blue, consider another shade of blue.)”
WEDDING DAY
From the Mother of the BRIDE: “The best thing that any Mother of the Bride can do on the wedding day is to relax and enjoy every minute of this special day! Trust that your wedding planner/coordinator will execute everything to perfection and focus on your daughter. I wish I would have had a bit more time to talk to my daughter before the ceremony, so be sure to communicate that having a few minutes alone with her is important to you! My favorite part was hearing their personally written vows and of course seeing how happy everyone was to celebrate!”
From the Mother of the GROOM: “The bride took the time to include my mom (who had passed a few years ago) by tying her wedding ring to her bridal bouquet and displaying a photo of her at the sign in table, which is something I was incredibly grateful for. At the time, I remember feeling like I wanted to help take some of the pressure off of the Mother of the Bride—they just have SO many things going on! Just be there and be available to help the Mother of the Bride out if she needs anything. Try to quiet the voices in your head that are saying ‘This is really happening…it’s here’ and be as present as possible. It goes so quickly! Oh, and be sure to wear comfortable shoes!!”
From my BRIDE perspective: “On my wedding day, I was SO thankful to have my mom and soon-to-be mother-inlaw there with me the entire day! From breakfast in the morning, to getting our hair and makeup done together, to them making sure I had water and snacks throughout the day. It was so special to have two women that I loved so much be a smiling face in the room all day long. To any bride out there, be sure to give your mom and fiance’s mom some extra love on wedding day. I had bracelets engraved for them to wear on the wedding day, my mom’s reading ‘forever your little girl’ and mother-inlaw’s reading ‘thanks for raising the man of my dreams’. I could tell that these small mementos were something that they would both cherish for a long time!”
From my WEDDING PLANNER perspective: “Sweet moments between moms and daughters are quite literally one of my favorite parts about wedding days! My biggest piece of advice to Mothers of the Bride and Groom on wedding day is to focus all of your effort and attention on your daughter or son. The day truly goes by so quickly, and it breaks my heart to see mom’s worried about the décor or little details instead of soaking up every single moment. Once the wedding day has arrived, trust that your vendors are going to do a great job, and rely on your planner to put out any small fires and ensure that the day goes off without a hitch!”
Weddings can bring about some new territory if this is your first child getting married. Talk to your friends that have married children and get their perspectives and advice on how to make the most out of the experience. When in doubt, talk to your planner or coordinator -- we are here to help everyone have a joyful time!
Get Connected
TREASURED HEART EVENTS
Owner | Creative Director | Lead Planner
www.treasuredheartevents.com
E: ashlee@ treasuredheartevents.com P: 972-261-8900
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