Dexter High School 2200 N. Parker Road Dexter, MI 48130 www.thesquall.com
March 6, 2013. VOL. 18. Issue 5.
Out of reach?
*2013 out-of-state tuition costs per year, not including other costs
Debt, increasing expectations cause loss of focus on education pages 6 and 7 Photo illustration: Jordan Romanowski
The Squall Page 2 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
4 5 7 8 9 10 12
Index On The web See the following photo slideshows and more at our website, www.thesquall.com
4 Feature
Catfish: You never see it coming until its too late
5 Entertainment
2013 Squall Oscar Picks
7 Spread
Education continues to empty your wallets
8 Interactive Page Nearly Wed 5x5
9 Sports
Womens basketball on a roll into districts
10 Opinion
The “change we need”
12 Photostory
Carolin’s life celebrated
THE
Squall
Letters to the Editor Policy: The Squall encourages letters to the editors. They can be emailed to dextersquall@gmail.com, dropped off in room 407 or given to staff member of The Squall. Letters may be edited for length and unprotected speech. Requests to withhold a writer’s name will be considered by the editorial board. Letters should be limited to 300 words or fewer.
Contact us at: 2200 N. Parker Road Dexter MI, 48130. (734) 426-4240 Editors-in-Chief Levi Kipke Cameron La Fontaine Head Designer Abby Mesaros Photo Editor Miranda Mors Assistant Photo Katie Vontom Web Editor Teddy Grammatico
Business Manager Erin Lashbrook
Opinion Editor Erin Lashbrook
llustrator & Design Drew Daugherty
Entertainment Editor Dan Edwards
Graphics Jordan Romanowski
Sports Editor Nate Nuttle
Center Spread Editor Lauren Kimmel News Editor
Get Involved Editor Carolin Schade
Morgan Van Hoof Feature Editor Aman-Vir Mandair
YOU page Editor Mitch Kimball
ext: 7407. dextersquall@gmail.com
Design Team Ben Grover Morgan Van Hoof Brandon Otto Levi Kipke Abby Mesaros Jordan Romanowski Staff Writers Aman-Vir Mandair Dan Edwards Mitch Kimball Lauren Kimmel Bryce Pederson Carolin Schade Zac Sharp Zeke Breuninger
Scott Rogers Noah Mellifont Photographers Casey Hansen Kathryn Pisano Hadli Polidori Andrew Milkey Nate Nuttle Linday Henderson Adviser Rodney Satterthwaite
Staff Editorials:
Editorials represent the majority opinion of the editorial board. Editorials are unsigned. Columns represented the opinions of the individual staff members who wrote them.
Staff Policy:
The Squall is a student publication distributed to students, faculty and staff of Dexter High School. The Squall is also distributed by subscription to the Dexter community. The Squall has a press run of 1700 copies and is printed by The Argus-Press in Owosso, MI The paper serves as a public forum with student editors making all content decisions. Opinions expressed in the newspaper are not necessarily those of Dexter Community Schools.
Memberships:
Feature
The Squall Page 3 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Crazy jobs can teach lessons Lauren Kimmel Staff Writer
Middle schoolers aren’t always the most well-mannered kids to deal with. This is something that junior Rylee Hanson had to figure out the hard way while working at Extreme Bounce Zone, an indoor facility of inflatable moon bounces. She describes her job as “basically making sure the kids behave.” “They call me a ‘fun monitor,’” Hanson said with a laugh. But don’t let the title fool you; this job is more difficult than it sounds. “Sometimes kids are brats,” Hanson said. “They hit each other, and I have to break up their fights.” The name Extreme Bounce Zone seems fitting at times, as the kids can take things to the extreme. “One time a worker could smell vodka, and we noticed the kids were acting strange,” Hanson said. “One of the middle schoolers had showed up with vodka in a water bottle, and we had to kick him out.” Sure enough, the mom wasn’t too happy to hear about her son’s wrongdoings. “She said, ‘That just doesn’t sound like him at all,’” Hanson said. “We just had to tell her that her son’s not allowed to come back.” Kicking people out is a more common occurrence for high schoolers at their jobs than one might think. Since June, senior Courtney Stewart has worked at Zukey Lake Tavern, and it’s not the quietest of jobs. The unassuming job description of “hosting and selling apparel” doesn’t tell the whole story. “One time our manager had to barricade a drunk
Photo Credit: Miranda Mors
Senior Rylee Hanson laughs while one of the inflatables deflates during a birthday party at Extreme Bounce Zone. Hanson said part of her job is making sure kids behave. She’s sometimes called the “fun monitor” as well.
guy from driving his 5 and 6 year old daughters home,” Stewart said. Stewart had to color with the girls until their father called his wife to come and pick them up. “We later found out it was his soon-to-be-ex-wife,” Stewart said with a laugh. Stewart had to step up and take responsibility in the situation, something that Tara Bride, from the Youth Employment Office of the Michigan Department of Education, says is an important quality to have if a minor wishes to be employed. According to Bride, it’s not just up to the employer to follow the restrictions; the student needs to take initiative as well. “My advice for teenagers is to enable themselves and know the guidelines, rules and regulations,” Bride said. Despite the regulations that come with having minors on staff, Bride said that businesses continue to hire them because “some job duties and responsibilities may not need and/or require to be performed by only one person or may not require 40 hours a week which may allow a minor to learn knowledge along with hands-on experience.”
According to Emma McCrea, a manager of Dexter’s A&W, there are additional benefits to hiring minors. “We like employing teenagers because they are hardworking and motivated,” McCrea said. “It’s also most of our teenagers’ first ever jobs, and that means we can train them from the start and create a good work-ethic.” In fact, McCrea said 50 percent of A&W’s employees are teens. Both sides benefit when she hires teens, according to McCrea, because of the lessons teens can learn by having a job. “They have to learn to be responsible in showing up on time, showing up dressed appropriately, and showing up ready to work,” she said. “The teenagers have to learn to manage their time so they can get their schoolwork done, work their scheduled shifts, and still have time for family and friends.” Stewart was able to learn some lessons firsthand. “I learned to be respectful to everyone out in public,” Stewart said. “Always come off as if you’re in a good mood because people who come in aren’t a lot of the time.” These are some of the positive effects that Bride hopes the experience of being employed will have on teenagers. “I hope getting a job teaches and shows them that they are a part of this world and have purpose in this life which includes being trustworthy, honest, responsible, punctual, accountable, independent” she said. According to Bride, teenagers who do have a job should take as much from the experience that they can. She said, “This is the start of the rest of your life; therefore, hold adults accountable for the guidance, mentoring and due diligence each of you deserve.”
The Squall Page 4 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Feature
The Catfish: a modern high school terror An analysis piece by Mitch Kimball Staff Writer It seems too good to be true. A beautiful girl. A handsome guy. Completely fallen for each other. Texting every day. You love them. They love you. Well, you are now living in a world where it may be safe to say that many online relationships are indeed too good to be true. Hence, the catfish. Why the catfish? As legend goes, live cod used to be shipped overseas. To prevent the cod from growing soft and lazy, catfish were kept in the transport tanks with them to chase them and keep them moving. The MTV series “Catfish” explains, “There are those people who are catfish in life. They keep you guessing. They keep you thinking. They keep you fresh.” The catfish. No, not the ugly whiskered fish that feed on garbage and lake waste. People. Internet bullies. Deceivers. “Trolls.” People create fake profiles, fake identities, in order to deceive others. Maybe from loneliness, maybe for fun. They take on the persona of somebody else - sometimes real, sometimes fake - and create online relationships. These people will not meet with their victims. They will not video call them or meet their friends. Now, you may think, “That’s way too obvious.” You may ask yourself, “How would anyone ever fall for that?” In the heat of the moment, faced with a seemingly perfect companion, people often do just that. They fall for it. Tracking down a catfish victim was not a difficult task. As per his request, this victim will be referred to as Victim One. Victim One said he met his dream-girl online and began a texting relationship with her. She used fake Facebook pictures to deceive him and used a fake name. Victim One discovered the deception once the catfish revealed that she was seeing other guys and was not actually the perfect girl that he fell for. “I fell for it,” Victim One said. “You make your own connections. You fill in the blanks yourself, so you believe what might not seem to make sense. You think you found that perfect person, and it’s just all one big lie.” The issue of the catfish has been around for as long as texting and social networking have. However, it has recently been pushed into the public spotlight through shows like MTV’s “Catfish” and stories such as the highly scrutinized Manti Te’o hoax, in which Notre Dame fan-favorite football star Manti Te’o was tricked into believing he was dating a beautiful girl suffering from leukemia. That girl turned out to be a 22-year-old California man. A catfish. But the cringe-worthy stories of catfish and their victims are not limited to just MTV and The New York Times. High school students, your very own peers and friends, have
also been victimized by catfish. Have victimized others as tional damage as a result of their catfishing. “It’s definitely a learning experience,” said Victim One. catfish. “Am I embarrassed? A little. I’ll definitely be more cauYes. Have even victimized others as catfish. Counselor Craig Rafail has experience with high school tious in the future. I don’t trust anything online anymore.” Catfish seldom know just how much damage they can catfish. “People think they’re cool, that they’re a ‘hacker.’ It’s a cause. They do, however, know that what they’re doing is wrong. source of pride,” he said. “Do I regret catfishing? Definitely,” The Catfish said. Due to the personal nature of the catfishing story that is to follow, this catfish and victim also asked to remain “It just embarrasses people for no reason. It’s just cyber bullying.” anonymous. Many schools have technology agreements that students “I created a fake Facebook for a friend, as a joke,” The Catfish said. “I commented on ‘statuses,’ made ‘statuses’ must abide by, but there is little a school can do once the and posted pictures to embarrass him and other people. catfishing leaves school grounds. “We can track IP addresses to houses, and we have school People thought it was actually him. It went on for like a officers if there are ever any threats made,” Rafail said. “But month or so.” This high school student, The Catfish, had simple motives. the technology agreements only apply inside of school.” Rafail does have advice for potential victims, though. “I did it out of pure enjoyment and humor,” he said. “Know what a catfish is. Don’t just accept it,” he said. In an increasingly tech-savvy society, stories like this are “Don’t accept the role of the victim.” anything but rare. Always know who you’re talking to. Know their name. “I think it’s something that your generation is coming to Know their voice. Know what they look like in person. terms with,” Rafail said. A catfish can only prey on ignorant victims. While it’s an anonymous crime, “catfishing” is not vicCatfish are not just bored college students, high school timless. The victim of the aforementioned catfish, Victim dropouts, or lonely adults. Their victims are not just hopeTwo, knows firsthand. “The posts weren’t that mean or anything,” he said. ful members of dating sites. Catfish stalk the very halls of “Some of them made fun of me by putting up weird pic- high schools around the country, their victims never far tures and making inappropriate statuses, but most of it was away. Take heed from a high school catjust trying to convince others that it was my Facebook account. It sucked at the time, though. It was embarrassing.” fish. “Facebook is deadly. Meet And the results of such deception are seldom positive. people in person first.” “I hate him to this day,” said Victim Two. “No, I’m joking. It turned out to not be that big of a deal. At the end of the day I realized that my friend did it, and it was actually a pretty funny joke.” But while this story had a happy ending, it is often hard for victims to forgive or reconcile with their catfish. That’s true for Victim One. “It was easier to just stop talking Photo Credit: Drew Daugherty to her and block her out of my life. That made it easier for me to move on. We still don’t talk,” Victim One said. In addition to blocking out the catfish, the former friends, from their lives, victims also commonly suffer emo-
Entertainment
The Squall Page 5 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Actress in Supporting Role: Anne
Best Picture: “Django Unchained” Actual Winner: ”Argo”
Hathaway, “Les Miserables”
Actual Winner: Anne Hathaway
Actor in Leading Role:
Best Director: Steven Spielberg
Actual Winner:
Denzel Washington
Ang Lee
Actual Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis
Actor in Supporting Role: Christoph
Actress in Leading Role: Naomi Watts
Actual Winner:
Waltz - Django
Jennifer Lawrence
Actual Winner: Christoph Waltz Photo Credits: Alan Klim, Audi USA, SynergyByDesign, Cliff1066, G1555, mundo Floser
Spread
The Squall Page 6 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
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Mo Money Mo Problems
College Facts •The total amount of student loan debt in the United States now exceeds the total amount of credit card debt in the United States.
Rising tuition, standards could keep college out of reach
•The cost of college tuition has gone up over 400 percent since 1982 •Approximately two-thirds of all college students graduate with student loans
Levi Kipke and Carolin Schade Staff Writers
•The Project on Student Debt estimates that 206,000 Americans graduated from college with more than $40,000 in student loan debt during 2008 •Total student loan debt in the United States is now increasing at a rate of approximately $2,853.88 per second •In 2010, the average college graduate had accumulated approximately $25,000 in student loan debt by graduation day. •The cost of college textbooks has tripled over the past decade. •75 percent of all Americans believe that college is too expensive for most Americans to afford. •The United States has the most expensive education in the world •American applications to Canadian Universities has risen 33 percent since 2008 •Annual tuition costs for international students in Canada range from about $14,000 to $26,000.
Dexter top 6 This graph shows the total cost at the top six colleges the class of 2012 chose to attend including tuition and room and board. The cost of 1983 is in black. The cost of 2013 is in white.
•The average tuition last year at an American public university was nearly $21,000 for out-ofstate students and almost $28,000 at a private four-year school, according to the College Board
$52,796
•In 2012, only 1 in 4 students qualified as “prepared for college” in all four ACT subject areas.
$41,158
•The 2012 ACT composite average was 21.
$32,046
$21,200
$2,112
$35,353 $25,818
$26,668 $19,326
$20,371
$21,328
$4,268
f n aw l yo t en ity higa i tra an t s n h r n c g e u Mi e as ive igan C ichi t W mm n a t U ich M S Co M
n ter an rand y s G lle Ea ichig Va M
Senior Jonathan Zofchak saw the letter in the mail the moment he got home. It was from the University of Michigan. A couple of months after he submitted his application, his acceptance or rejection letter was here at long last. He opened up the envelope. Looked at the letter. His heart sank. He had been deferred. Not accepted, put on the waiting list. Many factors go into receiving an acceptance, or rejection or wait list letter from a student’s college of choice. While students generally only worry about ACT/SAT scores during junior year, the struggle to maintain a high GPA is a constant problem, starting in the first year of high school. And this is where Zofchak thinks he went wrong. He said his tendency to slack during his freshman year became a major issue when he tried to raise his GPA later on in high school. “I gave an astoundingly little amount of effort when it came to turning work in (during freshman year),” he said. “It was kind of pathetic, really. Since it is spread out over four years, colleges can have a pretty good understanding of what type of person you are based on your GPA.” While Zofchak’s slip up during his freshman year may have weakened his chances of studying at the University of Michigan, he said he is looking forward to attending either Michigan State University or Purdue in the fall. But Zofchak and other students are finding it harder to make it into college, much less make it out. In addition to a student’s struggle to maintain the grades he or she wants, colleges like the University of Michigan have been raising their academic standards. Tuition prices, ACT and SAT scores, GPA’s: the requirements for everything have been rising steadily. Within the past three years, U of M raised its required GPA from a 3.7 to a 3.8, its ACT from a 27 to a 29, and its foreign language requirements from two years to three or four years. Counselor Gary Holmes said this sudden rise in requirements is due to the implementation of the common application three years ago. “We’re finding that more kids from Dexter are getting deferred because the University of Michigan is getting really picky,” she said. “The common application process caused some unintended consequences.” Common application allows students to submit the same application to various colleges around the country without doing any extra work for each college. Although common application makes it easier for students to apply to a variety of schools, it has had certain effects on public universities like U of M. Mainly, students who may otherwise not have applied to Michigan because they didn’t want to go through the formal application process can now just make a couple, simple clicks on-
line and their application is in. This increase in applications has resulted in Michigan becoming more selective, and its percentage of students from other states has been boosted, because more applications from kids outside of Michigan means more admissions of kids from outside of Michigan Holmes said. All of this makes it more competitive for local students to get in. “We’re finding students who would have been accepted as recently as three years ago are getting deferred today,” Holmes said. “I think it’s awesome from the university’s vantage point, but they’re losing out on some really terrific kids.” According to Holmes, Michigan residents and students are being impacted negatively by the inflow of out-of-state students who are now filling slots otherwise held by in-state-students. “Your parents’ taxes are subsidizing the university,” she said, “and now you kids maybe aren’t going to get in there, even though you may have very respectable, high GPAs and credentials that would render you an opportunity to be successful at the university, but you can’t get in.” Once students are in, however, their problems are not over. Financially, college is a disaster for many people. Textbooks for classes can cost students anywhere from several hundred dollars to over a thousand, depending on what their schedule looks like. Then there’s food. Besides the prices for dining halls, the odd meals and snacks that students chow down on every day, purchased in places other than dining halls, have to be factored in. And all of that is added on top of the price of tuition. English teacher Barrett Mergler had four years of college earning his Bachelor’s degree, two years of post-Bachelor’s and one year to get his Master’s degree. Through the entire course of his education, the majority was paid for with student loans, resulting in Mergler continuing to have to pay back substantial amounts of money for years to come. “I don’t understand why the cost of college goes up annually,” Mergler said. “It’s far too overpriced.” Students can, of course, get student loans and apply for scholarships, something that Mergler strongly advises students to do. However, student loans are often difficult to pay off and scholarships, beyond full rides, barely make a dent in tuition at all. “Not all of us are rich,” Mergler said. “Kids who are college material aren’t going because they can’t afford it.” The University of Michigan offers a number of small scholarships to its students. However, the scholarships are often relatively insignificant sums of money, as well as being so specific that they only apply to a small percentage of students. And some broader scholarships that have been offered in the past, such as the Michigan Merit Award have been cut from U of M’s scholarship program. The Michigan Merit Award was awarded to students based on aptitude tests. Students are no longer being given financial aid for doing well on standardized aptitude tests, a blow to students everywhere. The equation for attending college involves many factors, scholarships included. Some of these factors can be controlled by individual students, but others can not. No matter what happens, though, Zofchak said it’s important to remain positive. “Contrary to popular belief,” Zofchak said, “if you don’t get in, the world does not end. So apply elsewhere and ride out the storm.” Photo Illustrations: Jordan Romanowski
Interactive Spread
The Squall Page 8 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
THE FIVE BY FIVE Newly Wed Version Sam Bremmer and Blake Leonard Freshmen
Luke Bottomley and Sarah Stone Sophomores
Bryan Tuzinowski and Sabrina Meo Juniors
Noah Mellifont and Zac Sharp Staff Writers
. Ryan Calhoun and Alyssa DeHart Seniors
Ryan Baese and Jessica Baese Teachers
If your girlfriend/wife had the choice of date, what would she want to do? Leonard: Hangout.
Bottomley: Ice skating.
Correct answer: Skydiving.
Correct answer: Ice skating.
Tuzinowski: Some crazy expensive place to get entrees that don’t fill you up. Correct answer: Go to a restaurant.
Calhoun: Go to the movies.
Mr. Baese: Dinner in a tropical location.
Correct answer: Go to dinner. Correct answer: Dinner
What is her favorite food? Leonard: Mac’n’cheese.
Bottomley: Strawberries.
Tuzinowski: Ice cream.
Calhoun: Pasta.
Mr. Baese: Any pasta dish.
Correct answer: Mac’n’cheese.
Correct answer: Strawberries.
Correct answer: Ice cream.
Correct answer: Spaghetti.
Correct answer: Crab Cakes.
Leonard: Blue-ish.
Bottomley: Brown.
Tuzinowski: Brown.
Calhoun: Blue.
Mr. Baese: Greenish brown.
Correct answer: Blue.
Correct answer: Brown.
Correct answer: Light Brown.
Correct answer: Blue.
Correct answer: Hazel.
What is her eye color?
What’s her favorite music artist? Leonard: Fun.
Bottomley: Maroon 5.
Tuzinowski: Britney Spears.
Calhoun: Rascal Flatts.
Mr. Baese: Rebelution
Correct answer: Macklemore.
Correct answer: Maroon 5.
Correct answer: Taylor Swift.
Correct answer: Rascal Flatts.
Correct answer: Mumford and Sons.
What’s her favorite place to shop? Leonard: Macy’s.
Bottomly: 21 Forever.
Tuzinowski: American Eagle.
Calhoun: Target.
Mr. Baese: Banana Republic.
Correct answer: Forever 21.
Correct answer: Forever 21.
Correct answer: Victoria’s Secret.
Correct answer: Target.
Correct answer: Banana Republic.
Sports FB coaches interviewed Scott Rogers Staff Writer
The varsity football team is in the middle of a search process for a new head coach for the 2013 season. The vacancy in the position follows a 1-8 season in 2012, when the position was held by Brian Baird for three games and then Ryan Fisher for the remainder of the season as interim head coach. Fisher, however, will not continue as head coach. He said he was offered an interview, but he declined for personal reasons. “I don’t think I could contribute the time needed by the head coach,” Fisher said, adding that he is currently working towards earning his Master’s degree. According to Athletic Director Mike Bavineau, “We had a panel of four members that interviewed five candidates. It will be my decision, but I took all of the input from the members of the committee.” The committee consisted of Bavineau, Fisher, Principal Kit Moran and Assistant Principal Ken Koenig. Bavineau said the committee received 30 applications for the position and interviewed five of them. He also said that the applicants were primarily outside candidates that were not already affiliated with the team or the school. The primary criteria for choosing candidates, according to Bavineau, was great leadership skills, experience as a head football coach and the right fit for the school and community. A few other factors were also considered when narrowing down the field. “A lot of them were looking for teaching positions along with the coaching job, but we don’t have that available at the time,” Bavineau said. “We asked each candidate to bring a portfolio, list their strengths, outline what their typical practice would be like and describe their strength and conditioning program.” Regardless of what the committee decides, junior football player Zach Hartmann said the most important qualities in a new coach to him are toughness and intensity. “I want someone who’s gonna be tough on the players,” he said. “I think we’ve been lacking that from other coaches. With a tough coach, we can get a lot of players in the weight room to get ready for next season.” Hartmann said the players have received some information as to how the search is going. “We’ve been kept up to date,” he said, “but we haven’t had too much insight on who the candidates are.” As of press time, Bavineau said a candidate has been chosen and offered the position. He is currently waiting to hear his answer. “We hope to hear back from the candidate in the near future,” Bavineau said. “We’re in the process of trying to finalize. Then we’ll be willing to share.”
The Squall Page 9 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Get buckets
Womens team off to 17-2 start Aman-vir Mandair Staff Writer
The womens basketball team started the season 17-2. With the graduation of several of the team’s top former varsity players such as Annalise Dobbs and Olivia Cares, and the loss of current seniors Lindsey Lloyd and Danielle Schlaff, who quit the team, many players say the the team has overachieved. The also cite new talent from the underclassmen such as freshman Taylor Olson and sophomore Crystal Kedroskeas good additions to the team. Also, according to senior Teia McGahey, good chemistry between the players has helped the team pull through the sea-
Photo Credit: Andrew Milkey
son “It was a huge change when some of our best players left last year, but our team has gotten on very well over the season, and this has really helped us,” McGahey said. “It’s been nice to see our team come together.” Much of the team’s success is a result of the team work that occurs on the court according to senior Emma Kill who said that team work will be essential in their games against Huron both before and during districts. “We will need to work together as we have all season and play to our strengths,” she said. “We have to play the game at our pace, rather than the other team’s, and not psyche ourselves out before games.” In addition, Kill and McGahey said that the players are good friends off the court as well, and that this has allowed them pull through and support each other through many games. Coach Mike Bavineau agreed and said the team’s play againts Huron will be a key to the season. The team already played Huron and lost during the regular season, but Bavineau said the familiarity of playing them will be a big help in the next two games against them. “Before playing in Districts, we’ll have played Huron twice, and this familiarity with them will definetely help us,” he said. “We’ll be more used to their style of play.” And Bavineau’s coaching has helped the the team throughout the season according to Kill. “He’s been a great coach, especially considering that he’s had more on his plate from stepping up as the athletic director,” Kill said. “He genuinely cares about us as both players and people.” For his part Bavineau is confident that the team will perform well at Distrits and be able to make it to Regionals. “We’ve already done so well by reaching our goal of winning SEC’s,” he said. “The players are all self motivated, and I know that they’ll do fine and attain their goals.”
Senior Emma Kill battles one of Chelsea’s players for the ball during her last Dexter v. Chelsea game.
Opinion
The Squall Page 10 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
The change we need Dictionary.com defines “laziness” as, well, nevermind. I’ll get to it Editor-in-chief later. Laziness is an epidemic, an untreated epidemic, and it’s affecting Dexter students like none other. A very well-known doctor once said: “The only way to treat laziness is to cater to it.” This is the fortunate truth. As students, we deserve to have our laziness treated through coddling and love. Students coming to school should be something we want to do and not a hassle. We really want to-want to attend school, but it’s just so difficult with all the effort we have to put in. So here’s a list of demands for the 2013-2014 school year to help remedy our laziness. 1. Golf cart shuttle from cars: First of all, I don’t know what’s wrong with you people. I get to school around 7:50ish and there’s barely any parking spots left, let alone good ones. I have to walk all the way from the back of the parking lot into school. Do you know how difficult this is? It’s winter. It’s cold. It’s snowy. It sometimes takes five minutes to get into the school from the parking lot. We need a shuttle system. This will allow students to be lazy and not tardy for class. 2. Escalators: Stairs? What? Come on, people, seriously. This is 2013. Why are we walking up flights of stairs, sometimes two flights at a time? Let’s be honest. Even walking down stairs is getting difficult. We need an escalator system, so we aren’t forced to grow weak coming up stairs, wearing out our brains, ruining our chances of a productive work environment. 3. What are those moving escalator things on the ground found in airports called? I was going to look it up, but I’m too lazy. But yeah, we need those. We’re too busy multitasking with cell phones and what-not to be focused on where we’re going. Plus, this will finally make people understand which side of the hall they need to walk on. Right side people. Not that difficult. Anyway, we need those. 4. Waiters. Please. We get 30 minutes for lunch a day. This includes the time it takes for us to get into the lunch room, select our nourishment for the day and sit down and eat it all (including the mandatory fruits and vegetables). Sometimes it can take five to ten minutes just waiting in the line to pay for food. It’s ridiculous. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” It’s time to be waited on. Bring me my food, please, for I need to enjoy my full 30 minutes of no school. Thank you. 5. Desks with built-in computers. In the wise, fighting words of senior Nate Nuttle, “I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WRITE. I WILL TYPE EVERYTHING.” If every desk had computers, we wouldn’t be wasting paper. Think about the children. Getting computers at every desk in the school would be the classic win-win situation. 6. Self-propelled chairs. For our final demand, we request automatic moving chairs that will move us from class to class. We program the chairs to go to our classes so that nobody is late and we won’t have to walk anywhere. It’s perfect. No more tardies and no more exhausted children. This is the change we need. Laziness is an epidemic. It must be treated. Administration, I know you’re hearing this. If these demands are not met, well, we’re lazy and we’ll probably do nothing, but it’d still be much appreciated. Can’t wait.
Cam LaFontaine
Erin Lashbrook Staff Writer
I was asked to write a semi-entertaining column for all of you. After much consideration and many horrible ideas, I have decided to share some of the things I have come to appreciate over the past few years. These are a few of my favorite things: 1) R. Kelly Besides being recently featured in Macklemore’s song “Thriftshop,” R. Kelly is underappreciated by the masses, which I don’t understand. He’s the lyrical genius of our generation. For example, “And I ain’t got no rhyme for the next part. But that’s OK because this is the remix.” He doesn’t have to apologize or prove himself, he’s R. Kelly. He doesn’t even have to have lyrics. I think he can be compared to an eccentric uncle. He sits at the end of the table at every holiday meal and cracks jokes only to be heard by the dog or perhaps Grandma Sandy who’s half deaf anyway. Highly overlooked. I think it’s about time that R. Kelly came out of the closet. I mean, I don’t see nothin’ wrong with a little bump and grind. 2) Lint Rollers The worst thing in the entire world is sitting behind a kid in class who is covered in lint. I feel like lint is a blanketing term. I mean pet hair, sweater pills, random hairs...is your skin crawling yet? I hate it. I hate it more than the word moist, and that’s a whole lot. Everyone should be introduced to the art of lint rolling at a young age. Everyone learns how to brush their teeth and comb their hair, yet they still leave the house looking like they took a nap inside of a vacuum. 3) “Arrested Development” If you watch “Arrested Development,” we’re probably best friends. I can say this because approximately 1 percent of the population watches it. But those who make up the 1 percent are undoubtedly the best part of the population. If you haven’t watched the show, I’ll break it down for you. Basically the Bluth family owns a shady developmental construction company, in where Michael Bluth, their son, works to keep the family together while their father spends some time living it up in a correctional facility. Mix in a lot of awkwardness, a touch of incest and a dash of alcoholism. Personally, my favorite character would have to be Buster. Who else that you know has had his hand bit off by a seal and lived to tell the tale? And if the rest of the 99% would have watched this show, the recession wouldn’t have occurred in the first place. There’s always money in the banana stand. 4) GoDaddy Superbowl commercial This commercial really only makes me won-
The 7 wonders of my world der one thing: Who would ever want to make out with Bar Rafaeli? She’s atrocious. I wonder how much they had to pay her male co-star to agree to even be in the same room as her. You can’t bounce back from that. Overall, this was just a really confusing moment in Superbowl commercial history. 5) Ryan Gosling So elusive. So beautiful. But there’s only so many times that you can propose to someone on Twitter without it getting a little personal. I mean, it’s been like 11 months. I feel like that is enough time for him to make a decision about whether or not he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Even if he said no it would still be the most beautiful moment of my life. I can deal with a little rejection. Plus, have you seen Gangster Squad? The man looks pretty dapper in a fedora, and no one looks good in a fedora. 6) Walkmans Some of the most vivid childhood memories of mine involve me sitting up against the cold window on the bus in the morning, yellow Walkman in hand with some weird foamy headphones blaring Backstreet Boys to drown out the kids picking their noses and setting each other’s hair on fire. No, I’m not kidding. That actually happened on Bus #11. The first portable CD player was awesome, but it did have it’s downsides. Having to carry around extra batteries in case it died, and having to be patient waiting for your song to come back on if it skipped after a pothole. If I saw anyone walking around with a Walkman today, I would have the upmost respect for them. It takes dedication to jam out on a Walkman, but its the best jam. Also, you can listen to mix CDs. There’s nothing more romantic than getting a mix CD from your significant other. Dust off the old machine, sit back, and travel back to a time where you actually thought Nickleback was good. 7) The Smell of (Clean) Laundry Wash dishes? No thank you. Vacuum the living room? Maybe later. Can you fold the laundry in the dryer? Why didn’t you ask me sooner?! The smell of clean laundry is intoxicating. The worst day of my life was the day my dear mother switched our laundry detergent to an organic lavender scent. For one, I swear it made our clothes dirtier. Our laundry room became a dark, cold place. No more Snuggie bear to give me a hug as I put on a clean sweat shirt or reached for a warm, fluffy towel. I finally convinced her that the chemicals were worth potentially adding to global warming or whatever. Al Gore wouldn’t approve, but hey he kinda made it up anyway. Three snow days this year, I think we’re doing just fine thank you very much.
Editorial
The Squall Page 11 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Editors’ Vote Too High...............12 Just Right ............0 Too Low.................0 Not Present.........0 Illustration credit: Drew Daugherty
Our View
Government needs to do more to reduce college costs
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the average tuition for all colleges comes in at a little over $22,000, while in 1980, the average price was only $3,000. If you choose to attend a private institution, the price is even greater. Private universities and colleges averaged $36,000. With an average household income at $50,502, a family sending only one child to college for four years would be depleting 71 percent of their total income by sending a kid to a private college According to the US Census Bureau, a person with a college level degree earns an average of one million dollars more than a high school graduate during their lifetime. If education is the key to earning more money, then why does our country make it so expensive for students to succeed?
To pay for the rising price of tuition, many students have to take out loans. Today, one in five households owe student debt, with a mean debt of $23,000. Students owe more in student loans on average than they pay to attend school for a year on average. With the importance of education to society, college should be affordable for everyone. Financial aid and scholarships are two ways to decrease a person’s costs, but often these aren’t much help. Financial aid in 2008 averaged around $9,000 per student, while scholarships depend on many variables. Unfortunately, student loans make up most financial aid packages, leading to even more student debt. Student loan debt is projected to reach over a trillion dollars this year, which is even higher than nationwide credit card debit.
So what makes college so expensive? Competition between universities leads to a race for better student housing, better research facilities, and better technology. All of which cost thousands of dollars. This demand for improved quality among schools has been a leading factor in the inflation in college tuition. Since schools will always be striving to be the best, there has to be a point at which the inflation stops. The government should create a price ceiling which colleges are not allowed to charge over a certain amount for tuition, room and board, and other necessities. Education should come first and be an equal opportunity for everyone. Students shouldn’t have to choose where to attend based solely upon price. If a limit was reached, schools would be forced to improve their institutions for the goodness of their students and not for the extra profit.
How do you feel about rising college tuition costs? “It stresses me out a little because the price will affect where I’ll be able to go.”
“I know that I’m not going to be able to go to a very big college with the money my parents have.”
“You shouldn’t have to pay a lot for a good education.”
“I feel pretty bad.”
-Carolyn Whitaker, senior
-Brad Lewis, junior
-Paige O’Piela, sophomore
-Patrick Mayrand, freshman
Photostory
The Squall Page 12 www.thesquall.com March 6, 2013
Photo Credit: Myra Klarman
Laurence Carolin poses with his guitar at his Make-A-Wish Foundation photoshoot before his passing.
Spontaneous Combustion, a jazz ensemble from Ann Arbor Community High School, played as the opening band for Airplane Day.
Airplane Day honors legacy of Laurence Carolin Dan Edwards Staff Writer
On Feb 2, friends and family of Laurence Carolin came together at Foggy Bottom Coffee House to celebrate life and raise awareness to fight extreme poverty. Carolin, who would have been a senior this year, passed away in January 2010 after being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. Carolin was born in South Korea and was adopted by his parents Lisa and Patrick Carolin in 1997. He arrived on the plane to the US on Feb. 2 1998. Every year after that, on Feb. 2, his parents took him out to celebrate his arrival and remember his heritage. It was like a second birthday. They called it Airplane Day. After Laurence’s passing, a friend of Lisa’s and a ONE campaign organizer, Donna Turner, decided to keep the celebration of Laurence’s message alive. “He loved life,” Turner said. “So we want people to feel the same way he did. We want to get his message out.” Laurence was a big music lover, and after meeting his idol, Bono of the band U2, people often associated Laurence with music. “Music was the backbone of Laurence’s life, and is the
backbone of Airplane Day this year,” Turner said. But Airplane Day isn’t just for remembering Laurence, it’s also a fundraiser to raise money for the ONE campaign in efforts to help eradicate poverty in Africa. The ONE campaign is a grassroots movement of 3 million people who are committed to fight and extreme poverty and preventable diseases. “Trying to eliminate extreme poverty in Africa was Laurence’s number one goal,” Turner said. In efforts to help, some of the members of the ONE campaign were selling bead necklaces made by women in Uganda to raise money, along with other bracelets and jewelry to help donate to Laurence’s cause. “Laurence and I played soccer together for many years, and we became good friends,” senior Sean Coast said. “So I go to Airplane Day every year because he really inspired me. I wear a wristband with his name on it everyday to remind myself of him.” “We want people to leave Airplane day happy,” Turner said. “Laurence was happy, and want people to feel good about themselves and their world. And we want to pass that feeling on.” “Every time I go, I feel better, like I can make a change.” Coast said. “He really became an inspiration to me.” Event Photo Credits: Casey Hansen, Erin Lashbrook
Delta 88 performs as the closing act of the night. One of the members, John Sperendi, is a teacher at Mill Creek.
Sam Griffith, Ali Bowman and members of The University of Michigan’s ONE club speak about global poverty.
The keyboardist for Spontaneous Combustion jams out.
Members of the ONE organization from The University of Michigan handed out t-shirts to those who completed letters to political representatives about the poverty and the budget.