PERSPECTIVE SUMMERTIME REMINISCING

BY JILL LANGHAM

Hello everybody, I am just starting to come down from the effects of all the love that was directed my way by all of you who helped me celebrate my 68th birthday! So many beautiful wishes, comments, gestures and gifts. What an incredibly wonderful feeling it is. I feel so very blessed and am so grateful. According to many of you, I seem to somehow provide you with hope to be the best you can be, at least that is the message I hear from you.

Did you know that 18 years ago, I celebrated my 50th birthday at the ZOZO Hotel weekly pool party? Well, it’s true. Two gay men who were friends realized that during the summers seasons most of the hotels in Palm Springs stood empty on Sunday afternoons as the weekend guests were all checking out and very few people were checking-in. They made a deal with the ZOZO to give locals a 50% discount on food and drinks as well as providing us with a DJ if we could guarantee that at least 50 people would be in attendance each week.

It didn’t take long for us to convince our friends to join in and the numbers soared. The next thing we knew we had a lively consistent group of all gay men, couples, singles, thruples and my ex-husband and me meeting each Sunday all summer long. It was a win-win for us all.

Many of those men are still some of my very closest friends today. You see part of what happens at a Hotel pool party is that people from all different walks of life come together to enjoy the sun, the music and the water. It’s not about Leather, Porn, Sex, Meth, Circuit, Politics, or Wealth, etc., but more about community, friendships, fun and for me Dance. (But being honest, I’m sure some of those things listed above were still present but it was the camaraderie that made it work!)

Last Sunday, the ZOZO began its attempt to resurrect those parties from the mid 2000’s. Of course, I was in attendance, welcoming people to what I call, the “Second Cumming!” LOL. Believe it or not, a few of the original men from 2005 were there which blew me away! We reminisced about days gone by and commented and how happy we were that this “unbroken” event was hopefully coming back. For the record, the reason the event stopped is because one of the two creators sadly ended his life and his partner moved away shortly thereafter and none of us knew how to keep it going so it just ended. At this point in time, the hotel has not given us a break on drink or food prices so I can’t guarantee that the community will be happy, but I will ask that you give it a chance. The next party is not until July 30, giving us ample time to negotiate!

But it is now July and time to celebrate our Independence! Well, that was the origin of this holiday, but in today’s crazy times I believe that we might just want to ask ourselves what happened to the U.S.A. AKA the United States of America that I believe should be re-named the Un-united States of America. How do you feel about it? Independence and therefore freedom is not what I feel when I hear about the rights that many states are taking away from us.

Back in 1991, on July 4th, I freed myself from the use of all drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. I realized that if I was ever going to know myself it was going to have to be as a sober person. I had just started dating a man who had come out of a 30-day treatment program for cocaine addiction, and I found myself thinking that perhaps this would be a good thing for me to do as well. So, at dinner on the 4th, I pledged to myself that I would go cold turkey and “just like that,” I did.

My sobriety lasted 9.5 years and was one of the best things I ever did in my life. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard and very lonely at times. I struggled to fit in anywhere, let alone have any clue as to who I was but I never gave up and slowly but surely, I began to unlock some of the deep dark secrets that I had been hiding from myself and began to heal. I lost friends, as well as some family members. I questioned everything about myself and even got married and divorced, started a second relationship, with a man who I opened a store with, and eventually left him to marry my second husband with whom I moved to Palm Springs. I began competitive bodybuilding and began winning first place trophies, as well as getting my picture in Flex Magazine and a headline on local TV!

So, even though I am not looking forward to celebrating America’s 247 years of freedom, I am still grateful for the 9.5 years that brought me to the freedom I know and enjoy 365 days of the year. This is my perspective, what is yours?