Personal Reframes for Effective Communication

Personal reframe: A relevant personal statement you can make to yourself when you recognize you are “in your own way”

Dominance

Higher Dominance

Triggered by lack of control and a sense of being disrespected

“Do I really need to get Irritated right now or is this just my high dominance getting in the way?”

Lower Dominance

Triggered by aggressive behavior and controlling personalities

“Do I really need to be uncomfortable about being more direct or is this just my need to be accommodating getting in my way?”

Pace/Patience

Higher Patience

Triggered by lack of harmony and being undervalued and or unappreciated

“Do I need to be uncomfortable or is this just my need to avoid conflict getting in my way?”

Impatience

Triggered by a slow and methodical pace or lack of variety

“Do I really need to be frustrated with the slower pace of things or is this just my sense of urgency getting in the way?”

Extroversion

Higher Extroversion

Triggered by a lack of rapport, being embarrassed, especially in front of others

“Do I really need to keep talking or is this just my need to be in rapport getting in my way?”

Lower Extroversion

Triggered by people imposing on their personal space, over-sharing and irrelevant small talk

“Do I really need to be frustrated with this person for talking too much or is this just my low extroversion getting in my way?”

Conformity

Higher Conformity

Triggered by a lack of certainty, not enough information, extemporaneous speaking or being caught off guard without the answer

“Do I need to be frustrated with a lack of information or is this just my high conformity getting in my way?”

Lower Conformity

Triggered by a sense of being overmanaged or controlled

“Do I really need to be triggered by this person telling me what to do or is this my low conformity getting in my way?”

Client/Team Member Reframes: Awareness of your Opposites

Leadership and team communication reframes: A question or statement to a superior, peer or team member to help you adjust back to their preferred communication style

Dominance

Higher Dominance

Those who are more direct, controlling and bottom line

“I think I need to stop and back up just a bit. You asked me a direct question and I could have given you a more direct answer. The answer to your question is . . .”

Lower Dominance

Those who are sensitive to being direct

“Maybe I should back up a little. You asked me a question, and I may have been a little too abrupt. Let me see if I can answer your question in a different way.”

Pace/Patience

Higher Patience

Those who prefer a more sincere approach

“I’m getting a sense that I need to take a little more time to understand your question. Can you tell me a little more about . . .”

Impatience

Those with an intrinsic sense of urgency and a need for variety

“I can see that I need to pick up the pace a bit. Let's focus on the two or three things that are most important.”

Extroversion

Higher Extroversion

Those who need to feel they are in rapport with you

“I’m sorry, I jumped past something you were saying a few minutes ago, can you tell me a little more about that?”

Reserved Influencing Style

Those who are slow to trust you and what you are saying

“My apologies. I think I am talking way past what you are asking for. Let me focus back on your question.”

Conformity

Higher Conformity

Those who need more information to arrive at decisions

“My apologies. I jumped ahead and did not answer your question in detail. Let me give you the specifics.”

Lower Conformity

Those who need freedom, independence and low constraints

“I think I am giving way too much detail for what you are asking. What is most important for you to know about?” www.teamcommunication.com