Change: Growing Up with Malaise

Recently, I attended my grandmother’s 93rd birthday extravaganza. I can’t even fathom living that long, much less being as full of life and happy as my grandma is. It also gave me a new perspective on the changes that occur in society and, more minutely, our own lives.

I mean, thinking about it; my grandma saw the first widespread use of the car, the golden age of radio, the first nuclear bombing, the advent of computing, the invention of television, the transition from rotary phones to smartphones. She saw the tail end of the Great Depression, FDR, JFK’s assassination, putting a man on the moon. It’s just incredible to imagine that in her single lifetime she has seen and lived through all these things. Maybe it works both ways, but it seems like what we’re living through today isn’t nearly as exciting. In fact, to me, it seems almost depressing.

One thing that makes this feeling of stagnation noticeable is, well, the stagnation itself. The rapid acceleration of technology that our parents and grandparents watched just doesn’t exist for us. When was the last time something came out that wasn’t just a

rehash of what came out the year before?

I think we’ve reached the top of the technological curve and there’s minimal room for growth. If we look at social changes, there has been a substantial shift, but again, it seems like things have become static. There are so many obstacles to jump over. In the U.S., it almost seems as if we’re going backward. One example was last summer, when Roe v. Wade was overturned. There’s so much adversity when it comes to making a change, and I think most people just don’t have the guts to do so — myself included. I mean, there’s a lot of things I’d like to see changed, but it seems the drive just never comes. Maybe it never will.

Perhaps this feeling permeates all of us and it’s what has led to a general melancholy in the population. Stagnation. Even just getting to 17 years old — my current age — I have witnessed so much change.

Friends leaving, interests developing, identities changing, relationships ending, preparing to leave for college. I can’t even imagine the change someone as old as my grandma has seen in her personal life. Once you get to that age, you’ve practically lived multiple distinct lifetimes.

At some point in life, I assume you just get comfortable with your circumstance and start running down the clock.

The mind starts to realize that nothing much will change, that, maybe, this period of life is actually the most comfortable. A lot of people get scared of change. Maybe the most comforting thing is the idea that nothing will change. I guess that only applies to people who are comfortable with themselves, though.

Sometimes I wonder if my grandparents or parents look back on their lives and feel satisfied with what they’ve done. I wonder what they’d change if they could go back and change one little thing to affect the outcome of their life. I wonder what I’d change if I could. Something about change is pretty interesting. It’s always happening, but I guess you only truly notice it when you look back on things.

I wonder how I’ll feel at 93, granted I live that long; I’m not that healthy.

WRITTENBYWILLJONES(12)