The Student 13/11/2012

Tuesday November 13 2012 | Week 9

S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T u d ent N ews pa p er

SAAS delays hit student wallets

Ricardo Liberato

Callum Mason

Want to avoid the hangover from hell?

The Student examines the science of hangover cures >> Science P19

“Ludicrous” international fee revisions may go Nouschka van der Meijden

Last week, Jonathan Seckl, convenor of The Fees Strategy Group, stated in a letter addressed to the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) that the University of Edinburgh is working towards fixed or inflation-linked tuition fees for international students.

The news comes after a semester-long EUSA campaign criticising the rising tuition fees for international students, fronted by EUSA President James McAsh. Currently, overseas fees are subject to annual revision and, as a result, increase every year. This annual rise makes financial planning difficult for 90 per cent of the university’s international students, a survey carried out by EUSA revealed last week.

The same survey indicated that 79 per cent of international students were unaware of the annual increase in fees when they applied to the university.

EUSA presented the results of this survey together with a call for fixed student fees to the University Court and The

Fees Strategy Group.

Aurora Adams, National Union of Students (NUS) Scotland International Students Officer said, “Universities are getting less and less funding from the government and they try and compensate [for] this by receiving money from international students. The overseas students get a ‘cash cow’ status.”

“

We’re midway through our degree, we may have another fee raise next year, but we'll want to complete our degree. You've got us trapped.”

Adarsh Sekhar, third year student Adams, herself a third year international student, was pleased with the statement given by the Fees Strategy Group.

She said, “The University’s willingness to implement fixed fees for international students is a positive step towards creat-

ing a higher education system in Scotland and the UK that treats us with respect and fairness.”

The issue surrounding the fees was one of the first points raised by Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) president James McAsh when he came into office. Speaking about the issue he said, “I am bowled over by the huge level of support for this campaign from students of all nationalities. 1000 students signed our petition and hundreds contributed to our survey.”

Adarsh Sekhar, a third year student from India, highlighted the necessity for change in the report EUSA presented to The Fees Strategy Group. “It’s ludicrous, and it’s making me as well as other students reconsider our choice to come here – but now we’re stuck. We’re midway through our degree, we may well have another fee raise next year, but we’ll want to complete our degree. You’ve got us trapped.”

In his letter, Jonathan Seckl discusses the option of fixed and of inflation-linked fees, of which Adams favours the former.

“If fees are inflation-linked the economical risk is put on the students while it

should be on the university”.

Adams sees the current situation as an example of the marketisation of education. “Within that image we are the most powerless, disposable consumers. If we drop out there will be someone else waiting.”

“

If fees are inflationlinked the economical risk is put on students while it should be on the university.”

Jonathan Seckl, convenor of The Fees Strategy Group

On the 13th of November the issue of international student fees will be taken to a national level when a motion will be presented to parliament with the aim of making the fees transparent and fixed for all Scottish universities.

Adams told The Student, “It is a very strong statement if we as the University of Edinburgh go to parliament and say: if one of the biggest and oldest universities can change this, why can’t you?”

Almost 6,000 Scottish students have been left without loans from the Student Awards Agency for Scotland (SAAS) almost two months into University term time.

The SAAS website states that students should receive their first instalment of support on the first day of their course and each month thereafter. Despite this, a total of 5,936 applications for support were still to be processed at the end of October.

In a press release earlier this week the Scottish government defended SAAS by pointing out that all the unprocessed applications had been submitted after the deadline.

It added that the vast majority of these unprocessed applications were submitted as late as September, which was actually after most students received their first instalment of support.

Despite calling for a review of processes for dealing with “late and complex student funding applications,” Scottish Education Secretary Michael Russell reassured students that SAAS is working as “quickly as possible to deal with all remaining applications for this year.”

Based on the fact that living costs in central Edinburgh are amongst the highest in Scotland, students at the University of Edinburgh are likely to be amongst the most greatly affected by the processing delays.

According to the university website, it is estimated that the average student living in private accommodation will pay between £147 and £167 a week for basic necessities, excluding tuition fees.

Student accounts at the vast majority of major high street banks, including Lloyds, Santander and the Co-Op, have an initial overdraft limit of £1,500. This means that now, in the tenth week of the university term, many students will be forced to rely on relatives for financial support.

In parallel to Russell’s call for a review, many University of Edinburgh students have also suggested changes to SAAS’s system. Architecture student Jane Gill, who entered the University this year, suggested that the deadline for applications was perhaps too early.

“Some final year school students don’t decide that they are going to University, for definite, until results are released late in summer” said Gill, 18.

SAAS’s application system states that students do not have to have a confirmed place at an institution to apply for a loan, but according to Gill, some of her peers “didn’t even think about the idea of university” until very late.

Any changes to the SAAS system will become apparent following the review in March 2013. Thankfully for many students, Russell believes that “progress has been made over the last week, and that hopefully, most students will receive funding soon."

Tuesday November 13 2012

studentnewspaper.org

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Government preference for funding established PhD programmes harms smaller universities The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

News »p1-5

TRAINSPOTTING p 4

Alistair Grant breathes in the dank smoke of student experiences of drug use

Comment »p6-8

WANTED OR NEEDED? p 6

Student Social Sectretary-elect Tom Grant explores the complex process of replacing the leaders at the arcane pinnacle of the People's Republic of China

features »p9-11 Red Pill or Blue Pill? p9

Jennifer Smith looks into cognitive enhancing drugs

TECH »p16 DESMOND IS BACK p16

Alex Shedlock joins the continental army in the eagerly awaited Assassin's Creed III

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT » p19-20 HANGOVERS SUCK... p19

...and Ada Kozlowska looks at what you have to, in order to beat that horrible feeling the morning after

CULTURE »p21-23 SICK RHYMES p21

Madeleine Ash gets down with the kids at Some Like it Hip Hop

FILM »p26-27 BOND VS. BOURNE p26 Film editors Daniel Scott-Lintott and Sally Pugh do battle to decide who is the great super spy of them all

SPORT »p30-32

HEARTBREAK? p32

David Aitchison calls for students to spit on the Heart of Midlothian FC with their cash

Josh Quigley Established universities are receiving more funding towards doctoral programmes and research than less renowned universities, it emerged last week.

Only a month after the Russell Group, which represents 24 of the UK’s leading universities, said they would need more public funding if they are to compete with global institutions around the world, The Guardian now reports that there has been a decisive shift among research councils towards funding better-established specialist doctoral training centres.

Five of the seven councils awarding funding have now shifted their emphasis to funding doctoral research in key universities or consortia. This marks a clear directive issued by the Coalition to focus strained funds for training in areas of proven research strength.

This shift of focussing PhD funding on a handful of more better-established institutions has led to a reopening of the partisan debate about the nature and philosophy of a university education.

Whilst research councils are not the only source of funding for PhD programmes, universities outside the council’s chosen elite are finding it increasingly difficult to find the means elsewhere.

The government’s Research Excel-

lence Framework (REF) will distribute more than £1 billion of government research funding, and the fear for smaller, lesser-known institutions not in the council’s elite is that they could face serious financial ramifications for their PhD students as other research grants they rely on may tail off, too.

“

Overall 75 per cent of the AHRC's funding goes to 30 institutions and 39 per cent goes to 10 institutions. That is pretty consistent across the councils.”

Professor Rick Rylance, chief executive of the Arts and Humanities Research Council Speaking to The Guardian, Prof Paul O’Prey, vice-chancellor of Roehampton University, said, “What they are doing is creating a catch-22. If they limit research council studentships to the big players, that limits the scoring in the REF, and if you don’t score highly in that you don’t get studentships in the future.”

However, most British universities are unwilling to become increasingly

and intensively teaching-based as have North American institutions. The debate has gone far beyond funding and British institutions are not willing to give up next-generation researchers without a fight.

Pam Tatlow, chief executive of the modern universities group Million+, says: “It is really serious that the government is failing to track what’s actually happening on doctoral training.

It is not just a handful of universities who will produce the researchers of the future.”

Research councils have been quick to defend their actions. They claim that concentration was a fact long before their policy shift and have merely been replicating what has been happening in foreign higher education systems.

Prof Rick Rylance, chief executive of the Arts and Humanities Research Council (AHRC), and chair of the councils’ umbrella group Research Councils UK (RCUK), explained to The Guardian, “Overall 75 per cent of the AHRC’s funding goes to 30 institutions and 39 per cent goes to 10 institutions. That is pretty consistent across the councils. Concentration is already happening without any engineering: this is what peer review is telling us should be funded.”

The University of Edinburgh was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.

New council set up by senior academics to combat marketisation of education

Rona Broadhead

A Council for the Defence of British Universities (CDBU) has been established to campaign against the marketization of universities and defend academic values and freedom.

The independent organisation was founded by 66 high profile figures from across academia, the arts, politics and the media including David Attenborough, Richard Dawkins and Alan Bennett. As explained on its official website, the CDBU emphasises the “public benefit” of universities and their importance to society as a whole.

It aims to transform higher education policy following decades of increasing managerial and administrative constraints and the “radical reform of the higher education system” which has begun in the last two years. An opening statement on the website criticises “powerful forces [which] are bending the university to serve shortterm, primarily pragmatic, and narrowly commercial ends” and the lack of democratic debate over recent higher education reforms.

It has published a manifesto of nine values and aims which include: the accessibility of higher education, academic freedom in teaching and research with neither being “pursued at the expense of the other”, “institutional autonomy” over management and administration and the need for universities to retain “ultimate control” over course content and instruction methods.

Founding member Sir Keith Thomas, a historian and former British Academy president, introduced the CDBU in the Times Higher Education supplement last week. He wrote, “The very purpose of the university is grossly distorted by the attempt to create a market in higher education. Students are regarded as ‘consumers’ and encouraged to invest in the degree course they think most likely to enhance their earning prospects.

“Academics are seen as ‘producers’, whose research is expected to focus on topics of commercial value.”

“

It is still a public good as well as a private benefit for our brightest young people to receive a rigorous education - indeed, it is more crucial than ever to our nation's future.”

David Harvey, School of Physics and Astronomy He hopes the CDBU will campaign for the “replacement of the present higher education funding councils,” which he describes as “tools of government lacking intellectual and

moral independence,” by “autonomous intermediate bodies which […]can command respect by acting as buffers between the university and politicians.”

He would also like to see a campaign to free research councils from government pressure.

In an accompanying article, astrophysicist Lord Rees, another founding member of the CDBU, explained that “it is still a public good as well as a private benefit for our brightest young people to receive a rigorous education - indeed, it is more crucial than ever to our nation’s future.” He warned that “current upheavals risk jeopardising the quality of our universities - and once quality falls, it will be near impossible to restore.”

The council is officially launched with an Inaugural Meeting on Tuesday 13th November at the British Academy. Writing on the CDBU website, committee member Gordon Campbell explained that this opening session will “focus primarily on the vexed question of how to transform criticism into effective opposition, general aims into viable alternatives, and a consensus amongst a small group of concerned people into a message and broad-based movement capable of influencing popular opinion and forcing political change.”

The council seeks support and input from outside academia as well as within and aims to recruit a large-scale diverse membership from across British society.

news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

News 3

Amanda Scribante

The average cost of a room in university owned accommodation in the United Kingdom doubled in just ten years, according to the National Union of Students (NUS).

The NUS found in its NUS/Unipol Accommodation Costs Survey that there are 1.7 million students that require accommodation annually and that the numbers continue to grow. The private university sector is also growing at a rapid pace. Accounting for only four per cent of the stock ten years ago, this number has now risen to 39 per cent and, it is estimated that 79 per cent of the 18,067 bed spaces coming on line in 2013 will be provided by the private sector.

The private providers also charge significantly more for weekly rent. The average weekly cost for private accommodation is £140.07. This contrasts sharply to institutions that charge £118.49 per week and nomination agreements which go for around £119.83 per week.

Albeit being the cheapest option for students, the average weekly rent for a room in university-owned accommodation in the UK increased by 97 per cent, from £59.17 in 2001/2 to £118.49 in 2011/12.

Pete Mercer, NUS Vice President (Welfare) said, “Student rents have skyrocketed, leaving fewer reasonably priced accommodation options for students from lower and middle income backgrounds who are really feeling the

pinch.”

There has also been a sharp increase in additional fees. 65 per cent of providers require a deposit or substantial upfront payment. 73 per cent of private providers have such stipulations compared with 63 per cent of educational institutions. The average deposit required by a private provider is £300 (up from £238 in 2009-10) and by an educational institution £288 (up from £198 in 2009-10).

It is, however, not all doom and gloom as booking fees have been noted to be decreasing. For institutional providers, the average booking fee was £108.86. This was down from £150.59 in 2009-10. For private providers the average fee was £131.25, down from £135.28 in 2009-10.

Pete Mercer suggests that the solution to the problem of increasing costs is that the universities step in. He said, “The responsibility of universities to support their students does not begin and end at the doors of the lecture hall.

University heads should urgently be looking at properly planning accommodation supply and capping rent increases to ensure students are not priced out of living in halls.”

With the number of student acceptance for 2012-13 down, the impact of these price increases is difficult to determine, but inevitably more strain will be put on young university-goers’ pockets.

If the industry is not more strongly regulated in the future, the vast majority might well find university accommodation away from home unobtainable.

thurston smalley

Student accommodation costs double

POLLOCK HALLS OF RESIDENCE: The price of university-owned accommodation has risen by 97 per cent

Jimena Villar de Onis

More than half of British 18-24 years-old believe they would have been better off studying or working overseas, according to a report published by the British Council.

Yet only 21 per cent of that age group have taken advantage of the opportunities offered by the British Council and spent a continuous six months or more abroad.

The study also showed that males are more likely than females to go abroad during their studies. Only 19 per cent of women had moved abroad at some point in their life compared to 24 per cent of men. Accordingly, the study also showed that amongst those who had never lived abroad, males were more likely to regret it than their female counterparts by a margin of eight per cent.

Of the remaining 79 per cent who did not study abroad, more than a third believed that they would have had better job prospects had they done so.

In fact, “researchers last year revealed that more UK employers look for international awareness and experience above academic qualifications,” warned Dr. Jo Beall, Director of Education and Society at the British Council.

Studying abroad may be advantageous on financial grounds as well as in terms of gaining international experience. In fact, an HSBC study has

shown that Britain is the fourth most expensive country to study at for English students, only coming after Australia, the United States and Canada.

Financial issues not being a barrier to study abroad, it is concerning that students are not taking this opportunity at university.

“

Researchers last year revealed that more UK employers look for international awareness and experience above academic qualifications" Dr. Jo Beall, Director of Education and Society Dr. Jo Beall claims that there is both a positive and negative side to the results of the study. People are beginning to recognise the importance of having some type of international skills to boost up their careers, however British students are not taking the opportunities offered to them to gain that international experience.

The University of Edinburgh offers over 350 exchange places across Europe and has around 170 exchange partners

beyond Europe. On top of that, it is possible for students to make individual applications to any university of interest.

At the University there is a tendency for 3rd year students who did not go abroad to regret missing out on the opportunity. Partially they realise it would have been a good opportunity to gain international experience, but also the feedback they receive from exchange students is almost consistently positive.

Njord Gording, a third year international relations and law student, told The Student, “I was too busy with social life and academics to sit down and look at the exchange options for my degree. Now I regret not going when I hear from my friends on exchange how much fun they are having.”

The survey was originally commissioned as part of an initiative to help young people in the UK develop the international skills they might need to compete in the growing global economy.

Dr Beall urges British students to apply for the British Council’s language assistant department programme if they have missed the chance to take part in ERASMUS, the other programme run by the British Council. The assistant department programme offers paid placements to native English speakers to travel and teach English in 14 different countries.

Leaflanguages

Young people regret not studying abroad

EXCHANGE YEAR: Many students feel studying overseas is beneficial

Tuesday 13 November 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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@EdStudentNews

Survey: one in ten students have tried salvia drug One in ten students has tried the popular legal drug salvia, according to a new survey into student drug use in the UK. The University Drug Culture Survey, which was carried out by student research company The Beans Group, looked into the prevalence of both illegal and legal drug use among university students.

One in four students at UK universities had tried legal highs, and of these respondents 39 per cent admitted to having tried salvia.

“

I was convinced I was a tree, with thousands of people crawling around inside me, which was extremely itchy and uncomfortable.”

Adam Harvey, fourth year biology student The survey further revealed that 54 per cent of students had tried illegal drugs, with the most widely used being cannabis, which had been tried by 98 per cent of the students who had used drugs.

Salvia has gained notoriety in recent years after some commentators branded it more powerful than LSD. Producing intense but short-lived hallucinations in users, the herb is currently legal in the UK, despite being banned or controlled in many countries around the world including Canada, Denmark and Italy.

Originating in southern Mexico

and Central and South America, the drug can be consumed in a variety of ways, but is usually smoked in a water pipe, rolled in a joint or mixed into a drink. Its use and the intense effects experienced by users have sparked an internet craze in recent years, with users filmed by others while under the influence of Salvia.

The herb is widely available in so-called ‘head shops’ (shops which specialise in legal highs and drug paraphernalia) around Edinburgh, with many establishments even openly advertising the product.

Adam Harvey, a fourth year biology student at the University of Edinburgh, told The Student, “Salvia’s very easy to get a hold of, most of the dodgy shops on Nicholson St with bongs in the windows sell it, in a variety of strengths."

Speaking about his own experiences with the drug, he continued, “I’d read a bit about it and I was pretty sure the risks of one-off use couldn’t be too high considering its legality.

“What they don’t tell you is that the stuff you buy tends to be thousands of times more potent than what the Native American shamans supposedly use: what ensues is the most traumatic trip ever.

“Roughly ten seconds after inhaling I passed out and the hallucinations began. I was convinced I was a tree, with thousands of people crawling around inside me, which was extremely itchy and uncomfortable. As I slowly came back round and realised where I was, a euphoric sense of relief washed over me and - wiping the dribble from my chin - I started giggling uncontrollably. I only really felt normal again a good hour afterwards. Not the best.”

Another student who didn’t wish to be identified told The Student, “Salvia was fun to do a couple times, but I

don’t really have any interest in doing it again.

“My first time, I lost all sensory perception for a good 10 minutes and was lucky to be sitting down at the time, because otherwise I would have been likely to collapse. My second time, I distinctly remember 'becoming' a brick of butter being cut by a butter knife, and, at the time, totally embracing my role as a dairy product.

“Salvia is certainly not a party drug, and while incredibly intense for between five and 10 minutes, it just doesn’t strike me as a drug easily abused. I’d challenge anyone to try even remembering they have a car while on the drug, let alone getting behind the wheel, turning the ignition, and driving off. And while there’s some novelty to telling people what it was like being a pound of butter, that’s not enough to make me particularly excited at the prospect of doing it again, and from what I’ve heard from others who’ve tried it, that’s not an uncommon view.”

“

My second time, I distinctly remember “becoming” a brick of butter being cut by a butter knife, and, at the time, totally embracing my role as a dairy product.”

Anonymous student A spokesperson for Edinburgh University Students’ Association’s (EUSA) Advice Place told The Student that they had received no reports of the drug, but issued this advice to

Piha

Alistair Grant

SALVIA DIVINORUM: A user experiences a trip students: “University can be an overwhelming time which is why there is lots of support out there. We would always advise students who are having any issues with drugs to contact their GP or if they are not comfortable doing so to come and see us so we can

help them to get in touch with the appropriate support service.

“In any situation where someone is in immediate danger you should call 999 and give them as much information as you can about what substance the person has taken.”

Anna Feintuck

Students may begin to find it easier to claim back tenancy deposits, thanks to a new scheme intended to safeguard their money.

Whether letting with a private landlord, agency, or through the university, all deposits now have to be registered with a third party tenancy protection service. This should mean that it will be easier for tenants to resolve disputes about deposit return upon ending their lease.

Under the Tenancy Deposit Schemes (Scotland) Regulations 2011, landlords are not legally allowed to hold tenants’ deposits themselves and must give tenants clear information about where the deposit will be held, on what timescale it will be paid back to them, and under what circumstances money could be withheld from the deposit. For all deposits paid since 7 March 2011, the deadline for landlords registering with a third party scheme is Tuesday 13 November.

Landlords can choose from three registered schemes: Letting Protection Service Scotland, my|deposits Scotland, and SafeDeposits Scotland.

Malcolm Lindo, the Chief Executive of SafeDeposits Scotland, the only not-for-profit organisation of the three, said, “Landlords and tenants have obviously recognised that their deposits will be well looked after, and know that any disputes will be resolved in a fair and transparent way, using experts in Scottish housing law.”

Edinburgh landlords are notorious for withholding deposits, and students, who tend to move flats regularly, can find themselves suffering from financial problems as a result of this. Many students have been charged large amounts of money – often in the region of hundreds of pounds – for problems as minor as changing lightbulbs or dusting skirting boards. Francesca, a final year student, was charged £300 “for cleaning with a list that included phrases such as ‘quick wipe of hob’ and ‘light dust.’"

The protection scheme has, unsurprisingly, been welcomed. One recent Edinburgh University graduate, who preferred not to be named as she is still in disputes with the letting agent in question, said “I think it will help.

I moved out on September 2nd and I still have not received my deposit. I paid all of the outstanding bills and

Thurston Smalley

New government deposits scheme begins today

ROOM WITH A VIEW: Letting agents must now register tenant deposits with approved agencies they are still holding it from me […]

What I find frustrating is that they wouldn’t tell me how much would be taken off my deposit, nor would they return it. It’s been pretty ridiculous…

They wouldn’t give me a fair reason as to why they were holding it, or give me a quote on how much the cleaning bill would be.”

Similarly, John, another recent

graduate, had problems getting his deposit back after renting one of the University’s own flats. He said, “I think this could potentially be an improvement on the current situation, which is clearly biased in favour of the landlords. In my experience, landlords are able to withhold money and obfuscate their reasoning for doing so until you give up. Most people don’t have the

time, money, knowledge or confidence to take it further and so the landlords keep the tenants’ money in the majority of cases. If the new system made it simpler to arbitrate disputes (or made it so that the landlord’s claim was not the default final decision) then that would be a step in the right direction.”

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

News 5

US election fever hits Edinburgh uni

Max Crema, Vice President Services EUSA

Briana Pegado, Co-Vice President of EUNAS Charles Fuhrmann founded EUNAS with childhood friend and fellow International Business student Charlie Cottingham and university friend Max Greenberg.

He told STV, “When we came up with the idea for the society we wanted three stages. We wanted to first to be a support group and community for new North American students to get acclimatised.

“Secondly, we wanted it to be a social community, and to show what the American culture is like. And thirdly we wanted it to be a network. There’s an extensive North American community in the UK and Edinburgh thousands of students – and we want to make this alumni connection more tangible than it is now.”

The society now has 110 members and a mailing list of 750 students.

Their next event will be a charity Thanksgiving ball this November to raise money for Barnardo’s Scotland.

ELECTION PARTY: Students watch in anticipation as polling starts

SHOWING FACE: Some of The Student staff make an appearance

Francesca mitchell

in between".

The event attracted media attention in the form of mentions from STV and BBC, and featured in The Times and The Huff ington Post.

Kickoff was 8.30pm with speakers including Edinburgh University Principal Professor Sir Timothy O’Shea and Principal Officer at Consulate General Edinburgh Zoja Bazarnic.

After an impressive series of distinguished speakers and spirited debates, the event moved on to show live coverage of election night and its results until the early hours of the morning. Teviot supplied Barack

“

We did not realise the sheer magnitude of our event until we saw... the queue that stretched around Teviot"

Francesca mitchell

“

I'm delighted that EUSA could facilitate American and nonAmerican students coming together to celebrate the US election results"

we have all grown to love and respect fondly. Only in a country and university such as Edinburgh could a moment like this exist.”

Francesca mitchell

Teviot was alive with the sound of American politics last Tuesday as an election party organised by the Edinburgh University North American Society (EUNAS) attracted a crowd of over 700 students.

The society energetically encouraged attendance from Americans and non-Americans alike "whether a Democrat, Republican or something

O’Burgers and Romney Burgers for the evening, to be washed down with Budweiser.

The mood seemed overwhelmingly in favour of Obama and many were delighted by news of his success in being re-elected.

22-year-old Charles Fuhrmann, president and co-founder of EUNAS told STV in the lead up to the event, “There’s a large constituency of Americans in Edinburgh and Scotland who are backing Obama and they’re excited for him to do well.

Meanwhile, there is a seemingly much smaller group of Romney supporters who have [been] pleased to see his rise and are thrilled at their chances of an upset - it should be a fiery night.”

Max Crema, Vice President Services of Edinburgh University Student’s Association (EUSA) said of the event, “I’m delighted that EUSA could facilitate American and non-American students coming together to celebrate the US election results. I was amazed to see Teviot so full for so late into the evening, and I immensely enjoyed the event.

Congratulations are due to the North American Society Committee for such a well organised event, we should do it again some time.”

Briana Pegado, Co-Vice President of the society said, “We did not realise the sheer magnitude of our event until we saw all of the eager faces earnestly waiting to hear our speakers Tuesday night or until we saw the queue that stretched around Teviot.

“It was a humbling experience but even more exciting to share the moment with our peers in a country

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN: Awaiting results in Teviot's debating hall

Francesca mitchell

Charlotte Brady

CRAMMED: Students pile into Teviot's Sports Bar in “unprecedented numbers”

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Chinese whispers of competence For the past week, Beijing has been in a state of lock-down; military and police line the streets, sporting events have been cancelled, and street vendors have been told to pack up shop. This comes as the 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China gathers this week to install a fifth generation of leaders.

The 18th National Congress marks the beginning of a vast transition process. 2270 of China’s elite – state leaders, ministers, top military generals, provincial governors, mayors of major cities, managers of large state-owned enterprise, and state bankers – will meet to appoint 370 members to the Central Committee. Out of these, about nine will be elected to the Politburo Standing Committee, the country’s highest political body. Roughly two-thirds of the Central Committee will change hands and it is speculated that seven out of nine members of the Politburo Standing Committee will be replaced, including president Hu Jintao and prime minister Wen Jiabao.

Besides allocating members into various positions of government, the week long transition process will involve formulating policy reform and setting out specific goals, missions and guidelines for future development. In short,

these decisions will determine China’s structure and orientation at the start of a decade which will facilitate its growth as an even more prevalent economic and military global leader.

The recent slowing of China’s economic growth reveals the beginnings of strain on a government which, in recent history, has placed a lot of emphasis on economic prosperity. A burgeoning middle class, increasing environmental concerns, a party plagued by corruption and scandal, territorial disputes coupled with rising tensions over national sovereignty, and a country that is increasingly connected through the internet are all factors which test the integrity of the party. This has led state media and academics to believe that stalled reform is now the most pressing issue facing the Chinese leadership.

Granted, this power transition is likely to see the installation of new, younger Politburo members who are more likely to have an interest in reform.

Many have studied overseas, and have studied subjects such as law rather than engineering like the majority of the recumbent Politburo leaders. Despite this, political reform remains unlikely. If the Politburo were to take steps towards the formation of a democratic China, the

government would lose popular support.

The party would, in effect, cease to function as the backbone of the state, a role which has majorly influenced China’s rise to power.

Confucian values such as hierarchical structure, morality and law are embedded in the organs of China’s political machine. Yes, Chinese culture has evolved considerably in recent times,

but collectivism and respect for authority remain as strong as ever in the ethos of most Chinese people. Given China’s sheer size and its massive population, reversing these embedded cultural values in favour of a more liberal democracy would prove a near impossible task.

Industrialisation, which has widened the gap between rich and poor, is potentially another significant impediment

jalen vasquez

Tom Grant debates whether or not the next generation of Politburo leaders are up to the challenges of contemporary China

to real action being taken towards political reform during the 18th National Congress. Uneven development has harboured resentment amongst the poor towards the promise of liberal globalisation and the ideals that govern it.

Once again, China’s size, both in terms of geography and population, highlight the disparity between the minority who enjoy the benefits that a modern industrialised economy are bringing to their country and the majority, who are not.

As China becomes an ever more significant presence in the global political economy over the next decade, it will undoubtedly feel the strains pulling at it from both sides. It will be a difficult balancing act for the new leadership; on one hand, social unrest and inequality are sure to remain a point of contention, as the new era will assuredly usher in a more informed and better connected populace. On the other hand, the party will be forced to reluctantly take up the mantle of greater global leadership in the face of a growing economy and regional hegemony. China’s new generation of leaders’ approach to these issues from the outset will give a clear indication to world leaders, scholars and pundits whether or not this will indeed be China’s century.

Justice could slip away from the Syrians

Scott Dickson discusses David Cameron's controversial suggestion that Bashar Al-Assad may escape Syria without a trial an end to civil war highlights the problematic worldview of Cameron and other western powers. The Syrian rebels are a divergent group, with secular and militant Islamic factions. A legitimate concern is that they would willingly accept any offer of arms, but ignore the political conditions which would be necessary for such a transaction. The danger of arming this side (who also have an ever increasing list of human rights abuses) is that it will someday come back to haunt us, as was the case with the mujahideen during the SovietAfghan war.

It is also alarming that Cameron and other leaders can conceivably do much to address an enduring sectarian problem. Once again, the danger of supporting the rebels, most of whom subscribe to the Sunni branch of Islam, is that reprisals against the ruling Alawite minority and Christians will almost certainly become a reality. In that situation, one wrongdoing would replace another. One would have thought the results of the Libyan intervention would foster a little humility, for great swathes of Libya are now lawless and sectarian violence is commonplace.

This brings us to the prospect of

giving Assad a safe passage from Syria.

The reason why this idea is repugnant to most people is the basic indecency of someone committing such heinous crimes, and not facing justice for them.

It offends those who have suffered under Assad, and as such, the idea is quickly dismissed. However, possible benefits of this suggestion are ignored.

What has been committed in Syria cannot be downplayed or justified, and Cameron’s suggestion did not imply a lack of guilt on Assad’s behalf. Fundamentally, if it helps save lives and prevents prolonging the conflict, it should be considered.

Assad’s straight up refusal to even consider the idea arguably blows it out of the water. Nonetheless it is important to consider what the direct and indirect impacts of western policy are towards Syria, no matter how moral they may be. Russia’s foreign minister, Sergey Lavrov, said earlier this week that Assad feels the west has made bringing him to justice one of their key aims. To Assad, this is not an encouragement to wind down the atrocities inflicted upon opposition groups, but rather intensify it in the hope it will save himself. He definitely would not be inspired with

confidence when Cameron says straight after offering safe passage that he wants to see Assad brought to justice.

There are no easy policy choices concerning Syria, and from the start it has been a competition between the realist tendency to avoid intervening in states which will bring no benefits, and liberal interventionist beliefs which have characterised western policy to-

wards humanitarian crises since the end of the Cold War. Previous western follies in the Middle East have taught us how precarious the interventionist route is, and simply picking sides won’t solve a deep-seated problem. If the primary concern is to end the conflict as soon as possible and save lives, all options should be on the table, even if they seem unthinkable to begin with.

lefuturistdailypress.wordpress.com

David Cameron’s recent, somewhat tentative suggestion that Syrian President, Bashar al-Assad, could be granted free passage from the country has provoked stern criticism from human rights groups, and the Syrian opposition. Why should someone who has overseen the emergence of a civil war which has led to the deaths of up to 40,000 civilians not be prosecuted by the International Criminal Court (ICC) for these crimes? Not that Assad seemed to care. He hit back at Cameron’s offer on Russia Today, saying he would never flee his own country.

However, despite the viscerally angry response to Cameron’s suggestion, it is worth appreciating that virtually all of his policy options at the moment do not solve any problems.

Cameron became the first leader of a G20 country to visit Syrian refugees living in Jordan, stating he wanted to hear the stories of brutality from Syrians themselves. As a result, it is being speculated that the British government is moving towards an interventionist position; something which is arguably more disturbing than his suggestion of safe passage. For the simplistic suggestion that arming Syria’s rebels will see

SAY WHAT?: Despite his crimes against humanity, Assad may walk free

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Comment 7 � #EdUni

David's dealings are not dodgy John Ferns argues that David Cameron's recent bid to secure deals with the Gulf states is justified

This week, David Cameron travelled to the Middle East in an attempt to promote the sale of British made weaponry, namely Typhoon jets. Many organisations have called into question the morality of offering arms deals to these autocracies with appalling human rights records for the sake of stabilising our teetering economy.

“

The defence industry in the UK is massive and directly employs around 300,000 Britons, with tens of thousands more also relying on it."

The defence industry in the UK is massive and directly employs around 300,000 Britons, with tens of thousands more also relying on it for a living. BAE Systems is the biggest defence company in the UK and the third biggest in the world, pouring billions of pounds into the treasury’s coffers each year; this money powers our hospitals and pays our teachers. It makes the bulk of its money selling to countries like the USA, Australia, India, and more con-

troversially, Saudi Arabia, Zimbabwe and Indonesia.

All companies are within their rights to sell their product to whoever they like, providing that the product itself is legal and it is sold legally. Both of these legal requirements would be fulfilled if weapons were sold to Middle Eastern countries. So, why is it regarded by many as a morally dubious course of action? After all, when the order is likely to be over 100 Typhoon jets worth up to £6 billion, it doesn’t matter if it is Saudi Arabia, Oman and the United Arab Emirates; the potential profit is too good. What makes it a particularly good deal is that British defence companies are set to benefit ahead of their European rivals. The French defence company, Dassault, have attempted to sell their Rafale jets, but the Gulf states seems to prefer the British offer.

Cameron’s visit to the Gulf states may well have clinched it for us.

There are other reasons for Cameron’s visit to the Gulf states aside from securing a sweet, delicious profit for the struggling British economy. Following the Arab Spring, many leaders in the Middle East have become concerned that they are about to face a popular uprising in their country. Many leaders fighting revolutions object to the

stance that Britain, along with many other Western countries, have taken in supporting the rebels. Efforts must be made to keep these countries allies, or at least not enemies, even if they do have awful human rights records.

“

All companies are within their rights to sell their product to whoever they like, providing that the product itself is legal and it is sold legally."

There are, of course, reasons to be cautious about this kind of involvement as well. In a recent statement, Amnesty International stated that they believe that Saudi Arabia has previously used British-made weapons to carry out illegal attacks on Yemeni towns and villages resulting in thousands of civilian casualties. While this is probably true and receives shockingly little media attention, it is too simplistic to just refuse to sell them to the Saudis. The superrich monarchs will just get them from somewhere else and we will not benefit; unfortunately, casualties are inevitable,

despite our noble intentions. The problem lies not with British defence contractors, but the Saudi autocracy that is unlikely to change their ways.

There is also the possibility of triggering an arms race in the region, akin to a second Cold War. Iran is becoming increasingly dangerous as they seek to deliver nuclear empowerment and they will feel as though the west are trying to gain more allies against them, within the Middle East this may well further embolden their desire to be a nuclear power.

Hey, big spenders

“

Britain has an enormous deficit and it needs to be cut."

Britain has an enormous deficit and it needs to be cut. At the end of the day, Saudi Arabia, Oman and the UAE all have the right to self-defence and are going to be spending big money buying jets from somebody, and they will do with them as their leaders dictate.

We should be able to profit from it. I think what David Cameron is doing is a shrewd piece of business, should BAE Systems get the order and I just hope that BAE Systems do actually pay taxes on their profits.

Russian law failing gay tolerance

Daphne Leprince-Ringuet argues that legislation fails to address anti-gay violence in Russia the 43% of Russians that still consider homosexuality to be “debauchery or a bad habit,” the Russian gay community does not consider hiding to be the solution to their problems.

“

Homophobia is an ingrained attitude which should be addressed in pro-gay educational and social campaigns."

So what is the solution? Clearly many people in Russia are not ready to accept gay rights. Even if the government attempted to normalise homosexuality with equality laws, what would be the response of people who are still strongly influenced by figures such as Milonov, who claim that “homosexuality is a sickness” that “must be treated like a tooth that hurts” ? Pro-gay legislation would ultimately fail to address rampant homophobia in society, leaving the problem of intolerant violence unsolved and mentalities firmly unchanged.

Beyond Russia, homophobia is still common in so-called ‘liberal’ countries that have passed pro-homosexuality laws. Just a few weeks ago, a lesbian couple received death threats and were subject to physical and verbal abuse from their neighbours in the French region of Var. By looking at incidents such as this, some have concluded that homosexuals are doomed to be social outsiders regardless of their environment. France has numerous equality laws in place which strictly prohibit

homophobic discrimination and abuse, yet some French citizens are clearly unwilling to accept homosexuality. This shows that even governments in countries with equality legislation, are not completely succeeding in changing the long ingrained, traditional values that some members of their society hold.

The normalisation of homosexuality in many societies is seemingly impossible, for the simple reason that many people perceive fundamental differences in identity between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Governments have tended to dismiss this mentality, hoping that through legislation, homosexuality could become accepted by all. To complicate matters further, when people are legally required to accept a concept that they are morally opposed to, their reactions can be violent. What anti-gay gangs are reacting to is not so much homosexuality itself, but the fact that

they were suddenly required to openly accept an idea which does not fit with their perceptions of normality.

Of course, this does not legitimise the abuse that Alyona Korolyova and too many others have suffered, and the Russian government’s toleration of violent discrimination is in no way acceptable. However, the solution is not simply to pass hate crime laws which aim to impose a new way of thinking on a traditional, homophobic understanding.

People that hold this long established view are not ready to accept the equality of homosexual and heterosexual relationships and as a result the legislation will be ineffective. Homophobia is an ingrained attitude which should be addressed in pro-gay educational and social campaigns in order to improve people's understanding of homosexuality, leading to true equality for people of all sexual orientations.

speigel.de

During what was supposed to be just another night out in Moscow to celebrate ‘National Coming Out Day’ for homosexual couples, Alyona Korolyova was pushed up against a wall outside a gay-friendly nightclub and forced to watch a group of anti-gay activists brutally assault her girlfriend.

Speaking recently about her ordeal, she said, “I never thought I would live to see this, it was like a movie, a nightmare.”

Yet, this incident of homophobic violence is not an isolated act in Russia and it seems that the authorities there are becoming more and more tolerant of these crimes. In the past year, the Russian government has introduced a series of new measures to ban pro-homosexual propaganda; this legislation has significantly helped maintain ultraconservative, homophobic attitudes in Russian society. Last summer for instance, Moscow imposed a 100 year ban on gay pride parades. Since then, homophobic discrimination and violence has been on the rise. The number of anti-gay gang attacks has soared recently showing that some Russian people are becoming increasingly homophobic and showing greater support for the government’s campaign to clamp down on pro-homosexual activism.

The divide between anti-gay groups and supporters of homosexual rights is now a major concern in Russia. While organisations such as United Russia, a religious, anti-immigrant, homophobic group led by the renowned anti-gay activist, Vitaly Milonov, propagate discriminatory views, the defenders of gay rights are even more determined to make themselves heard. Despite

INTOLERANCE: Gays are often targeted in Russia despite new laws

As a girl who enjoys buying (or even just staring with yearning eyes at) clothes, shoes, bags and jewellery, hearing the words “I think you’re spending too much” from my judging friends and parents is all too familiar. Not to make sweeping generalisations, but I think most girls would agree that this is a fairly regular accusation held against us.

We dread looking at our bank statements, hold our breath as we pray that our cards won’t be declined, and just wish we had all the money in the world to shop to our hearts’ content.

But even billionaires have to check their bank statements every once in a while. Formula 1 CEO Bernie Ecclestone has had to pull the spendingreins of his two daughters, Tamara and Petra, telling The Independent, “They’re worth millions – but my girls spend too much on shoes”. Both girls are renowned for spending billions of dollars on clothes, shoes and bags, and both live in extravagant houses that are worth around £50 million.

This may seem unfair to us students who already owe thousands to the government and even our parents.

Even more so when we think of those people in dire poverty who struggle to find shelter for the night or even find food for their next meal.

However Ecclestone makes a point when he says that his girls “work bloody hard”. Petra designs menswear and handbags, whilst Tamara is the star of her own reality show Tamara Ecclestone: Billion $$$ Girl and does charity work for the Great Ormond Street Hospital. However, one has to admit that being the star of a reality show probably isn’t what parents want their little girls to aspire to become.

So what sort of role models are Ecclestone’s daughters for the world’s young women?

Well, they’re definitely suggesting that hard work has its rewards, even if it is daddy’s hard work. But, more importantly, they project a problematic image of women and femininity, in general. Certainly, there are other admirable women (such as Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton and, to an extent, the Queen) who are successful in traditionally male-dominant domains. Meanwhile, Tamara and Petra Ecclestone feed into the stereotype that women are obsessed with consumerism.

Even so, despite all this serious talk about feminism, I'm willing to bet that young women everywhere are dying to know: “What are their shoes like?”

Lisa Kobayashi

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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No state for foreign children

Mr Market

extend so far. Jennifer Blake, founder of Safe ‘n’ Sound, has stated that as many as 600 young people have approached her institution for aid. Volunteer organizations such as these do not have the sufficient funds or power to resolve the problem, or even to raise enough awareness of the issue. Acts of kindness such as providing warm coats and a B&B room for the night are all supplied through each organization’s personal funds. As admirable as this is, these acts are in the tens and not the hundreds or thousands.

“

So what is the government doing?

It is their job to provide public assistance, especially when it comes to the protection of minors" So, what is the government doing to help these children? It is their job to provide public assistance, especially when it comes to the protection of minors.

Yet, the only possible solutions are being put forward by non-governmental organizations. When national efficiency is being debated, the economy, politics, environment and health care are repeatedly brought to the table, and followed by a plan to implement new ideas. Social welfare issues are publicly approached by politicians with equal fervour, but yield such poor results. The simple act of granting legal immigration documents

to abandoned minors is met with stiff refusal. One would think that exceptional legal procedures should be applied, granting stateless minors immigration or citizenship rights. Further communication and contact should be made between non-governmental and governmental organizations to increase the efficiency of support provided to these children in need.

The BBC uncovered accusations of councils lying about the age of these children, recording them as older than they actually are so as to avoid the nuisance of claiming responsibility for them. It is regrettable that nowadays, such an action is not even met with reactions of surprise and shock. Corruption and

greed in society have become mundane concepts, with ignorance following closely behind. In comparison with more densely populated countries such as India and China, it should be relatively easy for the UK government to ensure mere legal documentation for stateless minors. Especially considering that the issue is not solely one of stateless teenagers, but more importantly homeless and uneducated teenagers. Non-governmental organizations alone can only mend the surface of existing social problems.

An alliance between non-governmental and governmental organizations, on the other hand, could repair the fragmented, problematic social infrastructure that has caused this problem.

bobcarr.files.wordpress.com

Losing a passport is never anything more than a hassle for most people. The idea that survival in the modern world is so heavily reliant upon a single document is quite frightening but, fortunately for most, passports are not only readily available but replaceable. Unfortunately, it has come to light that such a guarantee is not given to many children in the UK. BBC's Inside Out has recently reported on the rising problem of “stateless teenagers”, who lack official documentation and proof of citizenship to a specific nation. Cases have arisen in Birmingham, Leeds, Coventry, Newcastle, Oxford, Cardiff, Nottingham, Liverpool and, most frequently, London. Many of these children have entered the country under legal procedures, but circumstances have robbed them of any citizenship rights.

This has resulted in hundreds of unidentified homeless children living on the streets, forced into prostitution, crime and violence in order to survive. Children such as Tony, a 17 year old Ugandan boy, who told the BBC that immigration officers had demanded a letter from his father in order to obtain legal status within the UK. Tony replied, “How can I get a letter from my dad if he kicked me out?” Homeless, hungry and cold, Tony is only able to find comfort on the hardened seats of the buses where he lays his sorrows for the night.

It is children like Tony who suffer as a result of governmental neglect. With no official documentation, stateless children are denied social housing and healthcare.

While charity organizations such as Safe ‘n’ Sound and Coram Children’s Legal Centre do exist, their influence can only

HOMELESS: Many off the record young immigrants live on the streets

Foreign students fighting fees

Aurora Adams suggests international students should not be forgotten in the fight against high fees Last week, the University of Edinburgh announced that they are looking into how to establish the “achievable ambition” of fixed fees for international students, in answer to a popular EUSA campaign. While this is a victory against the insidious shift towards the marketisation of education we’re seeing in the UK, the fight needs to escalate, not settle.

I arrived in the UK during the ‘autumn of discontent’ in 2010, when education funding was becoming a controversial topic. In solidarity, I marched and occupied with British students who did not want their education sector to turn into something resembling the US system, locking out poorer students and weighing down a generation with debt.

That fight for a free, fair and funded education continues at Demo 2012 on November 21, but the place of international students in the fees debate continues to be overlooked. This is a mistake, as we are already victims of the kind of marketised education everyone is campaigning against.

So what exactly is the worst-case scenario for UK students? You need only look to your international classmates for the answer. A free market in education already exists alongside state-funded places at universities throughout the UK. David Cameron is coming down hard on immigration

and international students, but at the same time his education funding policies have made institutions more dependent than ever on fees from international students. In order to keep an influx of foreign students enrolling at their institutions, UK universities have opened offices in capital cities all over the world and sent ambassadors into schools in order to sell the student experience. It seems like a tempting proposition, packaged up nicely with promises of better access to the global job market after a few blissful years in a British idyll. When we sign up and pay our fees we are promptly redirected to the University’s ‘thank you for shopping’ page.

“

It's a myth that international students are all incredibly wealthy."

The catch is, those fees have been on the rise, going up without warning by hundreds of pounds every year.

There is a distinct lack of support for international students, with rumours circulating about tutors who are told to pass essays which clearly show that these students don’t have an adequate

Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths

Jasmine Xie argues that the government must work with charities to help Britain's stateless children

standard of English in order to study at a British university. As a result, many students who are accepted without rigorous language testing find integration incredibly difficult. They find themselves in this situation because universities are so desperate for their financial input. They use tuition fees to plug the funding gap that has been imposed by the government, and only give back as much as they think will secure our financial contribution to their degree programmes.

“

When we sign up and pay our fees we are promptly redirected to the University"

It’s a myth that international students are all incredibly wealthy; many are here by the skin of their teeth, under constant pressure to earn more and spend less within their visa’s limited working allowances, unsure whether they will be able to pay next year’s tuition bill. We come to the UK for all sorts of reasons, persuaded by the adverts, inspired by the prestige of old universities, and attracted by cheaper degrees than in our home countries.

To these institutions, we bring cultural diversity, experiences, skills and intellectual traditions. Despite all this, while the higher education sector is careful to cultivate its cosmopolitan image due to the amount of international students it attracts, we are never allowed to forget that our value is measured in pounds.

That is why resolving the fees issue is so important. This week, EUSA will be at the Scottish Parliament, arguing the case for fees to be fixed across the sector in Scotland. Hopefully, Edinburgh will be the first among many to stand against fee rises and the culture that perceives international students as little more than an infinitely deep pocket they can reach into whenever they want.

However, it’s important to remember what this kind of victory will not mean. We might be improving the terms of our stay, but we have not yet renegotiated our value as being more than simply monetary. Those who argue that privatisation increases quality should look to the way international students are treated. In a world where teenagers are told that having a degree is crucial, the demand is too large for students as ‘consumers’ to argue against extortionate fees. Education is a privilege, but one which should be provided by the state and we should be fighting for an education system where students are no longer thought of as just consumers.

Following last week’s troubling supermarket results, Mr Market has been delighted to see his Stella prices secured as both Morrisons and Tesco have shown minor green figures of 0.18 per cent and 0.11 per cent respectively.

He was saddened, however, by plummeting oil prices. Several big names seem to be scraping the barrel. Eurasian Natural Resources have tumbled by an abysmal 13.91 per cent, Vedanta Resources are running low by 5.89 per cent and Tullow Oil comes rolling in with a 4.10 per cent loss on the week.

The subsequent stress levels helped the tobacco market: British American Tobacco (up 3.33 per cent) hold a smoking lead. So, unsurprisingly, the medical company Smith and Nephew are up 2.50 per cent, followed by GlaxoSmithKline with a healthy 0.77 per cent.

The Market family’s delight was also overshadowed by the losses of RBS, Edinburgh’s local bank, and HSBC, the world’s local bank, which were 6.05 per cent and 3.85 percent respectively. Thankfully, Mr Market went with his sweet tooth as the gods of sugar, Tate and Lyle, scored a tasty 1.08 per cent growth.

As per usual, should anyone make much money, Mr Market won’t say no to a pint.

James Taylor

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Sitting in the library. Near Louise from made in Chelsea.

I knew there was a reason I chose Edinburgh...#eduni - @EloiseInMoscow So the turnaround for my presentation is meant ot be 10 working days. Not heard a thing since I submitted it in Wk3#eduni#poorshow#Wk8 - @weirnormal haa so im actually going to university challenge test in 2 hours. revising hip hop and club culture last night was a good move I feel #EdUni - @alex_rata

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 13

Smart drugs, wise thinking?

Jennifer Smith investigates the academic highs and moral comedowns in the rising trend in cognitive-enhancing drugs

It’s that time again. Alarm clocks are being wound back an hour or so, plans for nights out are renounced and the idea of getting a seat in the library after 11 a.m. is laughable. The mountainous workload is overwhelming and the days just don’t seem to be long enough to satisfy the demands of deadline season. Sleep becomes secondary to study as we students fight tooth and nail against sleepiness and distraction.

As far as vices go, coffee is the crutch of choice for many, whilst others opt for Red Bull and Pro Plus. But as research has shown, it would seem that many students are now looking for more than an hourly caffeine fix to keep them on point when studying.

“

Of those who had taken a cognitive enhancing drug, 92 per cent would try it again"

scription, it is a Class B drug in the UK. Possession can lead to a five year prison sentence, while dealing could cost you 14 years behind bars. Modafinil, on the other hand, is not listed in the Misuse of Drugs Act and can therefore be bought legally without a prescription, online, for as little as £2 per tablet.

“

We need to be very cautious when dealing with cognitive enhancers ... with such little research being carried out on their long-term side effects" Elizabeth Shaw , doctoral research student

This news caught some interviewed students by surprise, prompting responses such as, “OK, where’s the catch?

There must be some pretty grim side effects.” Surprisingly though, there is little evidence to suggest that Modafinil entails physical consequences. Though branded forms of the drug such as Provigil and Modalert warn against headaches, mood change and loss of appetite on their websites, it is often asserted that the drug does not induce the same high offered by other recreational substances, so there is not much of a negative aftermath or

e-magine art

Cognitive enhancing drugs or ‘smart drugs’ have become increasingly popular across UK campuses, with ten per cent of students admitting to taking drugs such as Ritalin (methylphenidate) and Modafinil (trade name Provigil) during exam or deadline time. Modafinil, which elevates hypothalamic histamine levels, is considered a ‘wakefulness promoting

agent’ and is prescribed to treat narcolepsy and Seasonal Affective Disorder, whereas Ritalin is used to counteract Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder by enhancing an individual’s natural ability to concentrate for extended periods of time. For some of the healthy student population however, such drugs are seen as a quick fix for drooping eyes and dwindling motivation. Considering their proper uses, such casual use of these drugs may seem a little extreme.

Nevertheless, their stimulating effects have been irresistible to many – a 2011 questionnaire carried out by Newsnight and New Scientist magazine found that of those who had taken a cognitive enhancing drug, 92 per cent would try it again.

When reading the accounts of some who have been popping smart pills, it’s not difficult to see why. Most recount how Modafinil kept them alert on very few hours of sleep, with one student attributing an A grade 22 page paper (written in just one day) to the drug. Others claim that it “doesn’t make you jittery, like caffeine”, and still another commented that, “If I want to stay awake for 20, 30 hours working on an essay, it’s very useful.” At this, the ears of sleep deprived students prick up everywhere.

Moreover, these drugs are easy to get hold of online, without a prescription.

As tempting a prospect as this might be, in the case of Ritalin, many would be advised to stick to fizzy drinks and double-shot espressos. Without a valid pre-

BOOSTING PERFORMANCE: Are ‘smart drugs’ the academic equivalent of steroids?

comedown when it has worn off.

Whilst this may seem promising, many have suggested such a conclusion may be misinformed and a poor assumption made on the back of little research.

Doctoral research student at the University of Edinburgh Elizabeth Shaw, whose work centres on the effects of cognitive enhancement in relation to criminal behaviour, explains. “We need to be very cautious when dealing with such cognitive enhancers as Modafinil and Ritalin, with such little research being carried out on their long term side effects.” She added the view that the media has been known to emphasise the benefits of smart drugs when exploring their popularity amongst students. Whilst her work suggests the notion that cognitive enhancers may improve the decision making processes of those who sometimes lack logical thought (such as repeat offenders), Shaw could not speak of the potential bonuses of smart drugs for students. “There are a number of other ways improve cognitive ability; in fact sleep has been proven to be the most effective. There are also methods of memory training which can help.”

The apparent lack of research into the long term effects of a drug such as Modafinil is worrying if its popularity is growing as quickly as research suggests.

However, as most users take the drug for brief periods of time, often in exceptional circumstances, many are willing to overlook this. When I asked a group of students if they would take the drug (none of whom had done so in the past) the answer was a resounding yes; in a mixed bag of adventurous and more cautious third and fourth years, 80 per cent said that they would try Modafinil during exams, as they thought the potential reward outweighed the risks. In fact, it would appear that the biggest side effect of the smart drug is the moral dilemma it poses to society: are those who take them cheating?

Or are those who choose to stay clean putting themselves at a disadvantage? If such drugs are affordable and available to all, are those taking advantage of these performance boosting pills wrong, or are they merely going the extra mile?

This problem has urged many to suggest the need for university drug testing at exam time; a practice which, if undertaken, would take a similar format to that of dope testing in athleticism. Professor Barbara Sahakian, a psychiatrist at the unit of Brain and Mind Sciences at Cambridge University, imagines why such testing may become necessary: “People are starting to think about drug testing. Some of the students who don’t use cognitive enhancers may demand it because they are concerned about cheating. Some admissions tutors are also concerned about it.”

Even if regulations were to be imple-

mented in the use of smart drugs at university, the question of their abundance beyond the realms of education remains.

As research has shown that some smart drugs are now infiltrating the world of work, many have argued that there is a place for cognitive enhancers such as Modafinil outside the world of academia.

The science journal Nature went so far as to say that it had “much to offer individuals” in 2008, and whispers of Modafinil use amongst the armed forces (within which members allegedly use the drug to stay alert during night operations) suggest how smart drugs could efficiently aid certain professions. If it were to become commonplace, many fear for a culture in which employers may begin to demand that employees be doped up at all times, so as to reach their maximum working potential.

Such a world, immediately reminiscent of blockbuster film Limitless, may seem a ridiculous imagining for the future of British society. What cannot be laughed at however is the fact that the taboo which once surrounded smart drugs is declining, and cognitive enhancing substances seem to be becoming an ever more acceptable way of making the most of one’s abilities. Many argue that, if rife, such drugs will undermine the value of hard work and effort, as well as blurring the line between the naturally gifted and those whose performances have been artificially enhanced.

However, there is some doubt that this is actually the case – whilst Modafinil, amongst others, has been proven to increase the cognitive abilities of individuals whose natural ability is average at best, such drugs help individuals make the most of their time and ability; they do not turn an average Joe into a glorified genius overnight.

“

This problem has urged many to suggest the need for university drug testing at exam time" Still, there is much to entice students towards smart drugs. I’d be tempted to consider them at exam time, much like those I asked. However, the question of authenticity puts a bad taste in my mouth.

Though the use of Modafinil may not be considered as cheating today, I would forever be cheated out of the reassurance that, if reached, my success had been rightfully earned. In which case not only would the smart drugs seem less clever, I would too. And that, I suspect, would be the worst comedown of all.

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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10 Features

Media dictates Sandy focus

Natalia Equihua takes a look at the New York centred view of Hurricane Sandy's damage

newbeatphoto

homes.

In contrast to the media’s narrow focus, NYC was only one area in the list of places affected by Sandy. North Carolina, New Jersey and Virginia were among the other 20 states to suffer the effects of this superstorm, but it was not only the United States that was greatly devastated.

As the hurricane came and went, few noticed or were told about the other countries such as Cuba and Jamaica that were also gravely affected by this natural disaster, while Haiti suffered another disaster to add to the list of catastrophes that have affected them since 2010.

REBUILDING: Haiti is still recovering after multiple natural disasters When the weather forecast announced the advance of Hurricane Sandy, headlines around the world warned of what was possibly the worst natural disaster to hit the East Coast of the US in years. They highlighted the consequences of global warming and a countdown began before Sandy hit land. New York City was at the centre of it all, or so it seemed. NYC saw coverage like never before for a natural disaster, from time lapse cameras to live webcams, photographs, social media live updates and Google’s

hurricane tracker.

The picture that technology and media depicted was one of despair and terror, almost like a Hollywood version of natural disasters becoming real, like watching The Day After Tomorrow come alive before the world’s eyes. Coverage went from preparation to expectation, and finally to seeing Hurricane Sandy taking its toll on NYC. The consequences were disastrous: buildings were flooded, roads were closed, millions were left without electricity and fuel and many lost their

“

As the hurricane came and went, few either noticed or were told about the other countries such as Cuba and Jamaica" In an interview for The Guardian, Emmelie Prophete-Milcé, a writer currently living in Port-au-Prince, explained that natural disasters are very common for the small island of Haiti. “In New York disasters do not happen every day so the media have a good catch. In Haiti the disasters come every day. Well, almost.” Haiti, a country that earns most of its income through farming, was once again left without a means of survival as Sandy destroyed vast amounts of its crops.

As Jean-Tholere Cenat, a farmer interviewed by The Guardian, described it, “The flood left us alive, but took our spirits.”

“

People in Haiti are still recovering from the 2010 earthquake and other storms that have affected the country since then" While people in Haiti are still recovering from the 2010 earthquake and other storms that have affected the country since then, the media has seemingly turned their story into old news. When technology was at its best, covering a natural disaster and providing support for people in the US who were about to live the worst storm in their history, other countries were almost completely ignored.

However, this is not the first time the media has made news a method of entertainment. While many benefited from the continuous updates on the hurricane’s path, the coverage that focused on just one of the affected areas is proof that the mass media reports on whatever sells best. One only has to take a look at the headlines that have been covering the news on Sandy.

The BBC for example has published headlines such as, “Superstorm Sandy: Timelapse video as Sandy hits New York”, “Sandy: New York devastation mapped”, and “Hurricane Sandy ‘may’

trigger wall of water to hit NYC”.

Needless to say, the suffering of the people who lived through the hurricane has been immense, but it is also true that the people suffering in the not-so-well advertised disaster in Haiti have not been able to get their message across.

“

While help has arrived to the US and Cuba, Haitians are still waiting amongst flooded crops, with refugees still living in tents" While help has arrived to the US and Cuba, Haitians are still waiting amongst flooded crops, with refugees still living in tents after their 2010 earthquake, and in the midst of the biggest spread of cholera in the world, according to The Guardian and the BBC. The risk is that NYC’s story has become old, with people around the world turning off their computers, having seen one too many photographs, videos, and overall coverage of the event. And yet, it is not a matter of which country suffered more, or who is more interesting to report about.

It is a matter of principle, and when a country out there – any country – is suffering after a natural disaster, it is up to us to stop just being the audience and extend our hand to help.

Barack-in’ all over the world Rona Broadhead examines how Obama's international support depends on where you are There were sighs of relief across the world last week as Barack Obama was re-elected as US president, defeating Republican candidate Mitt Romney after a tense campaign. A BBC World Service poll taken before the election had shown that international support favoured Obama over Romney across the world and this was reflected in media and political responses to Obama’s win.

In the UK, David Cameron tweeted, “Warm congratulations to my friend @BarackObama” and “Look forward to continuing to work together”, while The Guardian emphasised the global importance of the results, announcing that, “Mr Obama’s win is good for Americans, good for America and good for the world.” Similarly in France, Le Monde declared, “Brussels is breathing again. The re-election of Barack Obama on Tuesday 6 November is a relief for European diplomacy.”

However, not all regions had favoured an Obama victory and in the Middle East responses to the news were mixed. Pakistan had been the

only country out of the 21 surveyed in the BBC World Service poll which favoured a Romney win, although many participants said they were indifferent or unaware of the election.

“

While Obama's victory has been welcomed internationally, there is a sense that he has much to prove in the next four years" Pakistan-US relations became increasingly tense during Obama’s first term, which included the killing of Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan last May and a controversial drone strike policy which Obama continues to sanction.

Pakistan’s ministry of foreign affairs was formal and diplomatic, stating, “President Asif Ali Zardari has warmly felicitated President Barack Obama on

his re-election as the President of the United States of America.”

“

Pakistan-US relations became increasingly tense during Obama's first term which included the killing of Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan last May"

The Pakistan Taliban had a less cordial response: spokesman Ehsanullah Ehsan told Reuters, “We are amazed that Obama has been re-elected, but for us there is no difference between Obama and Romney; both are enemies and we will keep up our jihad and fight alongside our Afghan brothers to get the Americans out of Afghanistan.”

Israel’s Prime Minister Netanyahu was criticised by political rivals who accused him of favouring Romney

during the election campaign and alienating Obama which could affect Obama’s approach to Israel in his second term. Shlomo Molla, an MP for opposition party Kadima, told The Jerusalem Post, “The prime minister hurt Israel with his arrogant and incomprehensible involvement on the side of Mitt Romney.”

In the village of Kogela, Kenya, where Obama’s late father was born and his grandmother still lives, there were widespread celebrations and villagers stayed up all night to watch the results come in. Newborn babies in a nearby hospital were named after the president and one woman named her twins Mitt and Barack after the two rivals. Kenya’s President Mwai Kibaki sent Obama a congratulatory message but did not grant a public holiday as he had done four years earlier. Across the continent celebrations were seen to be muted in comparison with 2008. When Obama became president, hopes were high that he would strengthen American links with Africa but he has not made the continent a priority and

made only one brief trip to Ghana in his first term.

While Obama’s victory has been welcomed internationally, there is a sense that he has much to prove in the next four years. Human rights groups have been particularly critical about the president’s first term and the government’s use of torture, controversial defence and foreign policies.

“

Not all regions had favoured an Obama victory" Obama has been widely criticised for failing to close the notorious detention camp Guantanamo Bay which he pledged to do soon after taking office in 2009. Amnesty International USA executive director Suzanne Nossel stressed the expectations riding on the president following his re-election, “President Obama has been given a second chance to keep his promises on human rights. Don’t blow it.”

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper features@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday Nobemver 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 11

#Hashtag activism

Francesca mitchell

Francesca Mitchell discusses the impact of social media on human rights campaigning

HASHTAG ACTIVISM: Campaigning that infiltrates everywhere you go

“

Digital activists and ‘smart dissidents’ are changing the face of advoacy as we know it" The training centre is being set up by the European wing of the US-based Robert Kennedy Centre for Justice and Human Rights. The institution will aim to combine academic study with practical skills and training in social media activity in order to give

human rights campaigners, regardless of their political alignment, optimum access to the resources and opportunities offered by digital activism.

Federico Moro, the director of the project, has said that the intention of the centre will be to use “technology to promote democracy, human rights and justice”. The symbolic importance of the building – the centre will be based in a former Florentine prison – is clear, as the idea behind the institution is the defence of individuals suffering from political and domestic human rights violations. The centre also seeks to provide information for businesses and other organisations on ethical investment and human rights legislation.

Students of the institution will be bloggers and campaigners from all over the world, and their study will be funded by scholarships from the Robert Kennedy Centre. Some of those applying or recruited might well be from backgrounds which make their attendance at the centre a risky business, for example dissident campaigners from countries ruled by repressive regimes.

Nevertheless, this new digital form of activism is one of the most accessible forms of protest and campaigning to those living under repression, and thus its importance may be seen to be all the greater.

Indeed, the very establishment of such a training institutions is indicative of the magnitude of the trend in digital campaigning, or ‘hashtag activism’. One need only consider the Arab Spring, the English riots of 2011, the Quebec student protests, or even the US elections last week to see the massive power wielded by the effective management of social media and digital resources. (Romney, in his

concession speech, noted that “it is now clear that we failed to win over the support of people on Twitter in the UK”.)

Only last week, BBC News Education Correspondant Sean Coughlan articulated the matter, stating that “Street protests have become Tweet protests”. Moreover, as Coughlan argued, it is likely that repressive regimes are now as likely to be trawling through Facebook accounts and tracing dissident blogs as storming secret underground meetings.

“

Mass awareness of and advocacy for human rights issues can be raised with unparalleled speed" Whether through ‘hashtag activism’, Facebook campaigns or viral

and alive in order to retain the interest of an audience all too prone to fickleness and apathy.

Moreover, there is also potential for advocacy to be abused or tarnished through the use of new technologies.

This might relate to the circulation of false or inaccurate information or videos. It is here that the necessity of specialist roles for social media advocacy has been highlighted and implemented by activist and humanitarian organisations worldwide, and here where training at specialised institutions would prove its worth.

Otherwise, it might just be that such campaigns are to an extent undermined by the sheer number of them made possible and visible by hashtag activism, often rendering potential audiences apathetic or quickly disinterested. Nowhere could this be clearer than in the Kony 2012 campaign: after going viral literally overnight, the crusade against the Ugandan warlord lost its fervour as quickly as it had gained its popularity.

“

Some organisations now encourage their supporters in pursuing their own social media advocacy, making the most of their enthusiasm" As Rachel, a fourth year student, points out, “it’s not that hard to like a group or post a Facebook status. You can do it without necessarily caring that much. It’s not that I don’t see the benefits of online campaigns, but it takes more effort and suggests more commitment if you actually go along to something.”

Only time will tell how this new method of advocacy will be used and developed. What can be seen clearly though is that social media provides an avenue for activism like nothing the world has seen before, and if its potential is truly unlocked, the face of human rights advocacy might just be changed forever.

eric schwarzman

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past five years, you will not need anyone to tell you that social media is everywhere, providing instant news, worldwide communication and an endless source of library procrastination to students everywhere. Addictive as your Facebook and Twitter accounts might be though, the implications of social media for the wider world are truly unprecedented.

Companies worldwide now employ people purely for the purpose of manning their social media feeds – and not just the interns, but actual paid positions. In terms of its usefulness and profitability, it seems it must be worth its while.

Never has it been so relevant, not just to businesses, but to another crowd altogether: human rights campaigners, who can gain greater exposure than ever for their causes. The recognition of the significance of social media for such campaigns is now so great that an international training institute for human rights campaigners is being established in the Italian city of Florence, due to open to students in the new year.

video campaigns such as the nowinfamous ‘Kony 2012’, digital activists or ‘smart dissidents’ are taking advantage of the developments in social media and transforming the face of advocacy as we know it. There are numerous benefits to such methods of campaigning, whether the cause is political transformation in the Middle East or raising awareness of sex trafficking in Europe.

Not least among these benefits is the huge potential audience to be gained in the one billion active Facebook users, 517 million Tweets and 262 million MySpace patrons worldwide. The possible exposure given to the ideas and activities of human rights campaigners and organisations thus exceeds anything previously possible – indeed imaginable.

Mass awareness of and advocacy for human rights issues can be raised with unprecedented methods and unparalleled speed – and at a fraction of the cost of traditional advertising and marketing for advocacy campaigns.

How else could Amnesty International, for example, feasibly reach almost 450,000 supporters with daily updates, or Human Rights Watch report breaking news directly to over 300,000 individuals worldwide?

Moreover, with the ability of ordinary people to share and retweet information, ideas and articles, potential supporters no longer need find the information for themselves, but can be informed more passively, potentially leading to more and more activism when a cause catches their attention. Many organisations, such as UK charity Tearfund, now actively encourage their supporters in pursuing their own social media advocacy, making the most of their followers’ enthusiasm.

Furthermore, with the advent of ‘trending’ and other such content monitors, there remains a distinct possibility of campaigns and messages going viral in the online sphere.

However, this new ‘hashtag’ activism faces numerous challenges. The potential to reach a wide audience may be greater than ever but nevertheless, the importance of maintaining a large and active following cannot be underestimated. Campaign information must be kept consistently up-to-date

KONY 2012: Stopped by apathy?

Tuesday November 6 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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12 Editorial Overheard in The Student office

1# “What I’m gonna do is, walk into the office and say to the manager – I want eight pounds an hour or here’s my notice.”

1# “Oooh. A poppy. Controversial.”

2# “Yeah man. Word on the street is the money goes to fund imperialism.”

Join us!

1# “How’s it going?”

2# “Having to change a few things.”

1# “Why?” 2# “Just because he made unsubstantiated claims and didn’t really back them up.”

3# “Isn’t that called ‘the Comment section’?”

1# “I hate filling in job applications when you don’t know anything about the company. The introduction is just some bizarre corporate text blowjob.”

1# “In this werewolf film the only way to survive is by losing your virginity. It’s set in the grim seaside town of ‘Rainmouth’.

Original.”

If you’re interested, here’s how to track us down:

1# “Come on Everton you dickheads, earn me some fucking money!”

1# “I like that we’re encouraged to find the most ridiculous picture possible.”

» In person: Meetings every Tuesday in the Teviot Debating Hall at 1.15pm

1# ”Oh no” 2# “Are you out of Ryvitas?”

1# “Yeah, but I still have cheese singles. I’m gonna need to buy Ryvitas.”

2# “And then you’ll have too many of those and have to buy more cheese.”

1# “Stuck in a delicious cycle. Exactly.”

1# “Mate. I love JLS.” #2 “Mate. Me too, on my gap year me and my mates did a scene by scene recreation of the video to One Shot.”

1# “I don’t want to live in a world where Honey Boo Boo Child is possible.”

1# “Are you going to the Big Cheese tonight?”

2# “Obviously.”

www.twitter.com/TheStudentPaper

1# “Can we just put a bong on the front page? ‘Inside free bong’? We could have like a fold out make-your-own-bong type thing.”

1# “Someone say something offensive or funny! We havn’t got enough stuff for the Editorial yet!”

2# “We are not your performing monkeys.”

1# “Yeah that’s what happens when you fuck with The Student, we draw a picture of you as a turd in the office.”

1# “Where are we going for dinner?”

2# “I feel like a burger. City Restaurant?”

1# “I’ve heard it’s really greasy.”

3# “Grease capital.”

1# “The next section to use the incorrect font in picture captions is getting ‘Myriad Pro – Regular, Size 10’ tattooed on their foreheads.”

1# “I hate you for showing me Fox Nation.”

2# “Why? It’s hilarious. They had this story on last night that was like ‘Obama plays golf while 200 people go without power in New Jersey’ – I mean he just got re-elected and I doubt there’s much he can personally do. It’s also really blatantly racist.”

1# “Oh, it’s depressingly hilarious. But not only is it another source of procrastination it also means I’ve giving ‘those people’ hits.”

2# ‘Oh yeah me too. I hope I’m not being put on some list of racists and homophobes or something.”

1# “If you play another Bon Jovi song, I swear to god...”

The Student receives a letter from Austin Mitchell MP's wife in response to an article in last week's issue about his joke on twitter Just a short note re Conor Penn’s article about my husband Austin Mitchell and his tweet concerning Louise Mensch.

I amaze myself by writing but find myself pig sick of articles, tweets and criticisms of Austin’s tweet by men who see themselves as feminists and protectors of women against Neanderthal flakes like Austin and presumably me.

I have been a feminist for seventy one years. I can’t remember the first few, but at the age of seven I criticised my mother severely for letting my Dad boss her around. I have fought for equality in the work place, more women in politics, political power for women and equal pay and fairer pensions.

I have brought up children I am proud of, I have been a television producer and journalist all my adult life and I am still working hard today.

I love Austin he is one of the kindest most generous men I have ever met.

He has three talented and graceful feminist daughters, and fights always to help his women constituents who are often downtrodden unemployed and depressed.

He also has loads of faults, makes daft jokes, doesn’t do housework etc etc. I think it is a pretty small price to pay for someone who has loved me, been my good friend and helped me when I needed help.

In a world where there are so many women in desperate need of help and a

editors@studentnewspaper.org www.facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper

1# “WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER!”

Hi

The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join us. We’re also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.

chance of equality I am truly saddened

by Conor Penn’s article. I find myself wondering. Is he good to his Mum? Does he make sure his partner is truly equal in their relationship? Can he cook a meal and clean up afterwards?

Does he really know how to change a toilet roll? I am sure he will be claim to be a whizz at everything. He certainly enjoys his role as protector of Louise Mensch. I don’t think she needs it.

To rework a fashionable phrase: Get a laugh, Conor.

Yours Linda McDougall

A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Similarly, comment articles represent the views of their writers and not The Student.

Editors Nina Bicket and Daniel Swain

News Alistair Grant & Thurston Smalley Comment Stephen Maughan, Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths & Charlotte Ryan Features Cameron Taylor & Francesca Mitchell Lifestyle Katherine Nugent & Marissa Trew Science & Environment Nina Seale & Katy Sheen Tech Alasdair MacLeod Crosswords John Wakely Culture Madeleine Ash, Troy Holmes & Lene Korseberg Music Emmett Cruddas, Stuart Iversen & Geraint Lloyd Ellis Film Dan Scott Lintott & Sally Pugh TV Hannah Clapham-Clark Sport Piers Barber, Davie Heaton & Phil Smith Head of illustration Jalen Vasquez Photo editor Elizabeth Doucette Commission Sarah Burch Production editors Christopher Sladdin & Ben Shmulevitch

Head copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Lucy Dang, Amy Doyle, Joy Everett, Rosie Hopegood, Conor Penn, Elinor Smith, Lindsay Thomson, Helen Twigg & Charlotte Wagenaar & Helena Wilson Advertising Rachel Barkey, Matt McDonald, Kirsten Weir Distribution James Wood Marketing Dan Scott Lintott Social Media Kelly Meulenberg President Anna Feintuck Secretary Rebecca O'Doherty Treasurer Katy Sheen Social Secretary Tom 'Aussie' Grant

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © The Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by RJM Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed

by Print and Digital Associates, 01332 896525, on Monday September 10 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

COMEDY

EUSALIVE.CO.UK

Winter is Coming No matter how many times I press snooze, the daunting prospect of traversing the cold wasteland separating me from that awakening shower is still unbearable. I find myself sniffling with the latest virus and not caring what month it is. All I know is that winter is here and my energy bills are set to rise!

Yet fear not, that means snow, Christmas, colourful jumpers and lots of parties! With a little management, a group of us have found you don’t have to let your bills or carbon footprint rise as Edinburgh temperatures plummet.

Windows and doors account for about a third of heat loss from flats, so make sure during winter that you keep your curtains and doors closed when convenient. You can also put clothes across any gaps in doors and windows to stop draughts. If you can’t persuade your landlord to install double-glazing, for £10 you can get insulating window film which is a great compromise, adding another layer between you and the elements.

In my flat we have started cooking as a group, which is not only saving us on grocery bills but also energy costs. We only heat the oven once and can do the dishes all in one go. I often want to avoid my flatmates' vegetarianism, but we still co-ordinate to use the oven at the same time, reducing our gas bills.

Simple changes to the way you use your electric appliances can massively reduce your bills. It is difficult to generalise for specific appliances as different brands have different efficiencies, therefore if you want to fully understand your electric bills you can get an electric meter for as little as £30. This will accurately let you know the price needed to run each appliance. We have found this interesting and the changes in our habits will definitely save us this money back. If your pocket money doesn’t stretch to this you can just follow our simple tips below as a start: - Unplug your laptop when it is fully charged.

- Reheating in the microwave uses 80% less energy than the oven.

- Only fill the kettle with how much water you want.

- Avoid electric heaters.

- Energy saving light bulbs are a must.

- Tumble dryers comprise around 6% of the average household's energy use; line dry instead.

- Turning off appliances rather than leaving them on can save £86 per year.

For more information our website is www.greneco.org or follow us on Twitter @greneco.

Enter our competition of green tips/stories and win an electric meter.

Ewan Frost-Pennington

The modern woman

Lucy Geake introduces us to five personas today's woman must accomodate within her The Modern woman. She is not one thing. She is many.

Domestic Goddess: Teetering around the kitchen in six inch heels, the Domestic Goddess rustles up a three course masterpiece, without even flushing pink (Domestic Goddess doesn’t even know what sweat is). She’s a voluptuous woman, oozing Nigella Lawson. She only wears little black dresses. She cooks with a creative flair and hardly pays attention to the pots and pans – she is a master of multitasking, and so cooks over her shoulder while she welcomes in all those unexpected dinner guests and holds a

multitude of parallel conversations at once. A glass of red wine in one hand, this elegant lady with smoky eyes manages to make even a clumsy cottage pie seem sensual and exotic.

The Adventurer: Leave no stone uncovered. No sea uncrossed. This independent lady tosses her rucksack (the size of a telephone box) onto her back, and treks off into the distance to find out what mysteries are waiting for her around the corner. She’s fled across borders, conquered mountains and fought back all manner of prowling predators. This adventurer doesn’t need a roof to shelter under; canvas will

peony gent

Money Matters

Send us your stories on fashion, beauty and health lifestyle@studentnewspaper.org

FINDING THE BALANCE: Too many women, too little time

always do, so each night she pops up her tent under the stars and dozes off in an industrial sleeping bag, dreaming of her next intrepid venture. Unwashed hair somehow looks ruffled into fabulously wavy locks on her. Her passport is a textbook of tales to tell, each stamp kick-starting a narrative of danger and daring, should you manage to track her down to ask. She’s hitchhiking across the Congo at the moment.

Miss Career is up next: Prim and proper in a tailored black suit, this young lady has an intellect so sharp she can knock the socks right off you. But the suit is only for her monthly business clinic, where she advises clamouring entrepreneurs left, right and centre. As for her full time job…well she’s dressed in scrubs. Naturally. Her childhood dream ever since that idea of growing up to be Peter Pan wore off.

She’s a brain surgeon in the city hospital. Miss Career wakes up at sunrise and trundles along to work after that morning bagel and hey presto, by 11 a.m. she’s saved a life already. But ticktock-biological-clock…She’d better fit her brain surgery and any other career aspirations around putting those childbearing hips of hers into action.

Sporting Superstar is the next lady I’d like you to meet: This athletic woman loves to exercise. Netball – of course – is her sport. Nice and aesthetic. No javelin throwing or gum-shield wearing. Just a long-legged expanse of toned muscles. She grins round the park each morning on her daily run while everyone else shuffles off to start their

day still cloaked in the night’s slumber.

She doesn’t seem to be acquainted with tiredness. Superstar’s never weary, but always sparky. Even when she’s not doing but simply sitting and being, she is utterly content. Her very thoughts become gymnastic.

Fun-Loving is the final contender.

(There are many more you can meet, but not in this newspaper article. It’s too small a corridor. We wouldn’t all fit): Fun-Loving has a deep belly filled laugher that is contagious even to strangers. She dances outrageously.

Bounces off walls. And somersaults down streets, taking the live music she is such a fan of with her. Surprise visits and spontaneous presents are her mark, and this soulful woman does not give a thought to what others think of her – so she is utterly and eccentrically herself. Fun-Loving manages to make the most boring chore a flurry of excitement – she is definitely a glasshalf-full kind of girl. She dances on street corners while she queues for cash, schemes up jovial jaunts as she deals with admin, and breaks the rules of public transport – always making conversation as she travels. Work hard play hard, that’s her philosophy.

The pressure on the modern woman? In physics lessons I was taught that the weight of an elephant administered through the surface area of a stiletto heel could make quite a puncture. That’s the kind of pressure I’m talking about. Squeezing all of those characters into today’s woman is enough to make her pop.

The metrosexual man

Joshua Magor takes us back to the origins of today's new breed of modern men The old adage of men being from Mars and women from Venus has been a much discussed topic for as long as I can remember. Women act one way and us men act another. We are baffled by them and they are baffled by us.

This is the order of things and this has been the order of things for countless ages within countless empires over the countless course of time.

However, in what has seemed to be an ever-growing trend, in recent years we have seen modern man abandon this tried and tested recipe and undergo the treacherous commute from his rugged Martian soils over to the promising pastures of nearby Venus.

The modern metrosexual man has his origins anchored in the shameless wave of androgyny that broke with the rise of glam rock and the sexual revolution of the 70s. An age where curiosity was encouraged and self-expression championed. It was a time where televisions across the country flickered in unison to the piercing sounds and reeling forms of Bolan and Bowie and all of the malarkey associated. Tight trousers were in, so was make up, making out

and making sure everyone knew about what and who you were. It was a time where, thanks to the ever increasing and improving media coverage, a lot of people started taking an interest in their appearance and aesthetic.

Maybe it was a new found sense of self awareness born from quietly judging people on their newly coloured tellys that made people sit up and think, “I wonder what people say about me when I’m not looking?”, or maybe it was the fact that for some reason standing out from the crowd made people feel like they stood for something, even if they didn’t.

Whatever it was, the fact that it happened allowed for a new breed of man to emerge onto the streets. A man who peeped twice in the mirror, once before and once after product was applied. A man looked the part and who did so on purpose.

Curl the corners of your calendar 30 or so years down the line and it's 2012.

Men in the UK are spending more on grooming products than ever before.

There now exist men who have separate bottles for their shampoo, body wash,

conditioner and soothing body milk, who listen to Katy Perry on YouTube without clearing their browser history, who drink Chilean wine whilst eating homemade risotto and who cry during The X Factor – (and not from laughter).

“

It is wholly irrelevant what you look like, as long as you've got something to say that's worth being heard" The advent of socially acceptable manscaping has led to this new hairless generation of men transforming previously pleasant beach holidays into horrifying displays of bare chests and waxed backs fecklessly bobbing in the ocean. Grief.

I remember the overwhelming sense of pride that coincided with the glorious sprouting of my first chest hair and I remember even more vividly the

stinging inadequacy that I harbored whilst waiting for its arrival. Do men not feel that anymore? Am I but a relic in an ever-homogenizing society?

Surely this is not the future Bowie envisioned for his children of glam when he applied the mascara and pulled on the leather jumpsuit for the first time those many moons ago?

The difference between then and now is that the sense of purpose has been diluted. Where before people were acting for a purpose greater than themselves, now they seem to act for the sake of assuaging the sting of insecurities stemming from their own selfconsciousness. Of course this doesn’t apply to everyone. There are plenty of good eggs in the shed but it only takes a couple of rotten ones to make the whole place stink.

Ultimately, despite what people may say, it is wholly irrelevant what you look like as long as you’ve got something to say that’s worth being heard. It's just my hope that all that time our generation has spent moisturising themselves in the mirror hasn’t turned us into a bunch of damp squibs.

joanna lisiovec

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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s p o h S A S U E r u o y n i w o N e l b a l i a Av King’s Buildings Potter Shop, Potterrow

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k .u o .c t a e n a b r .u w ww

Pollock Shop, JMCC Pollock Halls

Shop, KB House

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Life, liberty, and the pursuit of stabbiness

THIS JUST-IN!: Would you fall for this Facebook scam?

Ever since I saw Studio Ghibli’s anime classic Princess Mononoke, I’ve longed for a game to come along which would capture that sense of organic adventure. Tropical forests, mountain ranges, black powder rifles and wildlife.

Basic technology and nature in conflict, and an adventure in freedom which lets us see it in our own way. After so many years of waiting, Ubisoft Montreal’s Assassin’s Creed III (AC3) has finally captured it.

You heard me: an AAA, big budget, hard hitting mainstream blockbuster has captured the aesthetic sense of one of the most beloved anime films of all time.

And this isn’t all the title has captured. In the space of the first four hours of the game, I experienced the most sublime simulation of an 18th century galleon, a harbour more real-

istic and lively than I have seen in any other game, and a forest wilderness which is still taking my breath away.

More so than Red Dead Redemption’s northern region. By a long shot. Not to mention an introductory moment or two that measures up to the cinematicgameplay symbiosis Uncharted 2 and 3 have put forth.

I actually called my dad through to look at the galleon segment while I played it for the first time. We both sat there in awe as I walked through a perfectly rendered, incredibly detailed galley underdeck, tens of men standing around tying ropes or playing games or sleeping or conversing or just waiting. When I went up onto deck I took in the wind and the sails and the birds and more deckhands, before climbing to the top of the crow's nest, repeatedly pausing to take in the view, the incredibly smooth and detailed sea waves, and ultimately perching on the very tip of the main trunk mast. It was gobsmacking. Looking down, the deckhands had become humanoid ants, working away all around the deck in different positions. The only weak link in the whole thing was the land on the horizon; which still looked good, just empty at that unrendered distance.

It’s the people that really make AC3’s simulation. The first time you walk through a bustling market it’s actually a little intimidating. The AnvilNext Engine, developed solely for this game, can handle hundreds of individuals on screen, all doing their own thing. It’s surprising how much of a difference

this makes. Even legendary open world games like GTA are deserted in comparison to real life. AC3’s bustling city centres and battlefields and events feel completely alive, something I’ve barely experienced to this extent in a game before.

Your journey playing the game itself, as a game, is very enjoyable indeed, although plagued by extremely consistent minor issues. The control scheme has, for the most part, been reborn, renewed after four full-fledged titles which maintained the contrived but useable system created for the original Assassin’s Creed in 2007. It works well for the most part. Combat is definitely improved, it actually poses a challenge on occasion, but basic things like jumping with precision or moving around cluttered spaces is still awkward. I’ve had to restart countless missions or attempts due to Connor leaping into the line of fire of a cannon, or fumbling around on top of market stalls during a fight. Thankfully the core Assassin’s Creed mechanics are very refined. Hiding in crowds and evading enemies in the city is better than it has ever been, despite niggly control issues in broad movement.

Sadly, the game is almost persistently buggy. Graphically the package is incredible, nature and technology are totally merged here. People look great, environments look great, anti-aliasing makes all the edges surprisingly smooth. But when two men go to have a fistfight and end up facing away from each other, still standing swinging their

Ubisoft

Alex Shedlock hunts the deadliest game that the rebel ����������������������������������������������������� Thirteen Colonies have to offer���������������������� in the revolutionary Assassin's Creed III

Animus: Go back to the future of the past of the future (of the past). Again. fists energetically at thin air, grunting from the contact of non-existent blows, the immersion is pretty fractured. Or when a French Canadian sits in a bar talking about how he wishes he had wine instead of ‘this beer’, and his hand is actually cupped around empty space, gripping an unloaded ‘beer tankard’ model, gesticulating up and down in a dodgy manner. All the hundreds of glitches, usually one every couple of minutes, a few actually impinging on your gameplay experience, might have worked as some sort of meta-commentary on how, in the story, we’re still playing Desmond in the modern day who is seeing all of this through a computer. Perhaps their program just isn’t that good? But then, in the excellent modern sections, when Desmond’s white hoodie pokes through the satchel on his back constantly, you can’t really forgive the game.

The genuine issue here is just that Assassin’s Creed III is too ambitious. The experience as a whole is fantastic; naval combat is thrilling, tree climbing and hunting is a revelation, the high-tension assassination stealth gameplay is massively improved, the story is excellent although a bit choppy in terms of pacing.

There are basically several games here for the price of one – although none of them are completely finished.

They aren’t far off, but the game is still plagued with issues, cobwebs in its corners which you brush past every few seconds. Still, strapping a seemingly very good multiplayer package (which unfortunately I only got to dip my toes into, hence the lack of comment), as well as the magnificently expansive single player, this one is definitely worth your time and money. This is one of the best deals you'll find this generation.

Internet age update for strategy classic

Sam Bradley remembers one of the most venerable series ever to grace the PC, and then checks out its latest online iteration

My army is surrounded. Retreating to the safety of a small village atop a rocky plateau, I pull back my troops and fortify our camp. Soon, the Persians will return and batter my exhausted phalanx again, and if I don’t break the encirclement soon, I may as well give up. So I throw all my forces into one last charge and manage to decimate the enemy defences; the Greek hoplites rout their foes and the battle is won.

Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Age of Empires is one of those games that probably every male up to the age of 25 has wasted too many hours of his life upon. Without it, I wouldn’t know what a trebuchet is, or how to annihilate armoured knights with a horde of Mongol horsemen.

Its mix of real-time strategy, historical narrative and challenging gameplay made it one of the most iconic gaming franchises of all time.

The reality is that the first Age of Empires did for strategy games what Doom did for first person shooters.

For its era – released in 1997 – it was revolutionary. The AI did not cheat, it successfully blended warfare and the obsessive satisfaction that came with building your own pixelated Rome, and for the first time players could sack, raze and pillage on an epic scale.

Hopefully, the makers of the latest edition, Age of Empires Online, can make a similar impact.

For those who used to come home

from school, take one look at their homework and think, “Sod that, I’m going to besiege the French,” this pitch won’t take much time. The new game is an excellent soup of all the elements which made the last three instalments equally fun; taking the ancient history setting of the original, supercharging it with the gameplay of Age of Kings and polishing it up with the aesthetics of the third game.

The graphics are brighter, the buildings are more accurately scaled and the interface simpler and easier to use. It’s a long jump from the first game, when your troops refuse to march in formation and would walk through trees.

As novel as the first game was, Age of Kings was the jewel in the crown of the series. It vastly improved on the single player campaigns and on the tactical system, expanded on the variety and diversity of empires you could play as, whilst building a better economic system. And it included an easy to use map editor, so that players could build scenarios just as good as any of the

campaign levels.

Age of Empires III jumped forward in time, moving from the dark ages and medieval period into the imperial theatre of colonial America. Now, you could pit columns of redcoats against Napoleon’s cuirassiers, bombard towns with whole batteries of cannon, or have mobs of Sioux raiders ambush terrified colonists.

“

Sod that, I'm going to besiege the French."

Although it fixed the previously deplorable naval combat system (pirate ships and men o’war), the makers dropped the historical campaign setting in favour of a rubbish storyline involving the Illuminati trying to capture the fountain of youth – a stick that most reviewers used to beat the game with.

Although Ensemble Studios, the studio that first developed Age of Empires, was subsequently shut down in 2009,

former employees of Ensemble formed Robot Entertainment and built the latest game in the series.

Now, updated for the Steam-accustomed gamer, Age Of Empires is back, in a massively multiplayer format. It’s moved beyond the anonymous, gratuitous carnage of 1997’s battlefields and given the player a little more stake in the battle, by enabling them to control and customise a virtual city state in the ancient world.

With the new Vanity system you can customise your troops in a variety of ways, whilst the addition of earnt improvements for your forces – for example, several of the campaign quests give out better armour or weaponry as a prize – adds a new dynamic for the research system. And although it’s a freeto-play game, the prices of upgrades are remarkably cheap.

Hopefully, the innovative developers that first created this masterful and iconic series can continue the legacy of Age of Empires, and teach a few more kids about triremes along the way.

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.co.uk

17 Paid for by the Edinburgh University Students’Association

A message from your EUSA VPSA

Andrew Burnie sheds some light on the upcoming Teaching Awards

Teaching Awards are 5 thnowAnnual open

Mornings are getting darker, nights are drawing in and Edinburgh is colder than you ever remember it being before.

The only solutions to outer warmth are multiple layers or staying in bed.

EUSA are here to provide you with the opportunity to gain that warm inner glow that comes from doing something good. Yes, Teaching Award nominations are now open!

Every year we ask our students to tell us what they love about their lecturers, tutors and anyone else involved in their learning. Every single nominee receives a letter of congratulations and a badge to wear with pride, knowing that they made a difference for their students. These nominations are then looked at by a panel of students from across the University and the final decisions on award winners and runners up are made.

In their 5th year the Teaching Awards are continuing to sharpen the

focus on teaching in a ‘research intensive’ university. The awards have shone a light on the great work of our growing community of winners and EUSA’s annual Inspiring Teaching Conference provides them, and other nominees, with a showcase for their talents and new ideas.

As an organisation that represents students we’re frequently asked what students want. The Teaching Award nominations give us that information, including the diversity among different schools. We’ve learned about video feedback in the vet school and animated powerpoints in botany classes. We’ve heard of tutors innovating to ensure understanding and schools where their students feel an integral part of an academic community.

This year the awards are highlighting great feedback, with an award in every school, as well as searching out those who are there for you with the ‘Supporting Student Learning Award’. This award can go to anyone in the University who has aided your learning; frequently

students are supported by admin staff and their peers as well as their teaching staff. Whoever these people are for you, we want to know and to celebrate what they do. Every student who nominates also has a chance of being invited to the award ceremony to see their nominee receive their prize.

The full list of awards up for grabs this year are: • Best Feedback • Best Personal Tutor • Teaching with Technology • Developing Students’ Employability Award • Postgraduates Who Tutor (Sponsored

by Vitae) • Best Course • Best School or Subject Area • Teaching in the Humanities and Social Sciences • Teaching in Science and Engineering • Teaching in Medicine • Teaching in Veterinary Sciences • Supporting Student Learning Award • Best Research or Dissertation Supervisor • Teaching in the International Classroom

So get online and have your say, it only takes a few minutes to make someone’s day and help to show what’s great at Edinburgh! Nominations will be open until March 1st and you can find descriptions of the awards and nominate online at www.teachingawards.com by signing in with your EASE login.

If you have any questions about the Teaching Awards or anything other academic issues you’d like to contact me about please get in touch at vpaa@eusa. ed.ac.uk. I’d love to hear from you.

Andrew Burnie, Vice President of Academic Affairs

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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A process of not-so-natural selection

Are we playing God? Hannah Dean discusses the drastic evolutionary impacts that human processes have on other species

“

The evolution of smaller body size has been observed as a direct result of human targeting" Human harvesting of fish from wild stocks and fisheries may be causing rather drastic evolutionary changes in the species concerned. Prolonged selection of the fish of greatest size from a population

may lead to early adult maturation: fish are smaller when they reach reproductive maturity, and the size of eggs and offspring shrinks. Over time, the evolution of smaller body size has been observed to be a direct result of human targeting of fish with the desired larger body size, which fetch a higher price.

Park, Zambia, where hunting and poaching of animals for the size of their horns and tusks has resulted in evolutionary changes in these features. In the case of African elephants, the prominence of elephants without tusks increased from ten per cent to 38 per cent, whilst for bighorn sheep the sizes of the sheep horns were observed to have shrunk over time.

The removal of organisms with a certain characteristic from a population means that fewer genes for that characteristic are passed on to the next generation.

Ultimately those desirable phenotypes will start to become less prominent.

Evolutionary changes that stem from human behaviour are not confined to harvesting. Thousands of bird feeders across Britain may have collectively contributed to the separate evolution of the blackcap bird from its Spanish kin. The prevalence of feeders in gardens all over the country, combined with the milder winters in Britain over recent years, have provided a more hospitable environment in which these birds can flourish, where decades ago they might have died from starvation and inhospitable weather. Rounding of the wings for better manoeuvrability and thinner beaks which are no longer adapted for eating olives in their native

“

The prominence of elephants without tusks has increased from ten per cent to 38 per cent" In an experiment conducted by David O’Conover from the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences at Stony Brook University in New York, the chosen population of fish was nearly driven to extinction in just six generations, due to the decreased size of the females and their eggs after the largest individuals were successively removed from each generation.

Similar effects have been observed in species of bighorn sheep in Canada and elephants in South Luangwa National

Spain are the observable genetic changes as a result of the migratory evolution in this species.

Issues such as genetically modified crops continue to provoke controversy and outrage today from people who

believe that it is unethical for humans to have control over genetics. But it seems that humans may have their hands on the genetics and evolution of more organisms than we may be aware of, even in the innocent bird feeder in your back garden.

JEREMY WEBER

Humans have exploited the genetics of other species for their own benefit throughout history. In recent decades, this has taken the form of genetic modification and selective breeding, but evolutionary control may not be confined to a laboratory or instigated by scientists and farmers. Through activities such as hunting and poaching, global warming and the seemingly harmless act of hanging bird feeders in gardens, the extent of human influence on the evolution of certain organisms stretches further than it may first appear.

HOLD ONTO YOUR HORNS: Humans are shrinking bighorn headgear

It's a girl thing: sexism in the sciences

Maddy Vierbuchen argues that gender stereoptypes are still widespread in the science industry, no thanks to sexist ad campaigns

“

On average, the female applicant was rated lower in both competence and employability and offered $5000 less in salary than the male applicant" That kind of blatant bigotry is rare, but there does seem to be a much more pervasive and insidious kind of sexism present in society regarding the perception of women’s ability. In a recent study published in the journal PNAS, researchers sent applications for lab managers to university professors, asking them to give the candidate feedback on their CVs and to suggest a starting salary. All application materials and

qualifications were identical, except for the first name on the application being either John or Jennifer. On average, the female applicant was rated significantly lower in both competence and employability and was offered $5,000 less in salary than the male applicant. What is it that makes people judge women so harshly?

Evolutionary psychologist Professor Richard Lynn has long been a champion of the bizarre idea that men evolved to be more intelligent because they were the hunters in prehistoric society.

jalen vasquez

One of my earliest encounters with sexism at university was in a first year Biochemistry practical. My group was splitting up tasks and I offered to take one of the trickier sections of the experiment as I had some previous experience with the subject. A guy in my lab group abruptly said, “No, you can’t do that part. You’re a girl so you’ll screw it up.”

Larry Summers, former president of Harvard, made a now infamous statement that women’s brains were simply not inclined to logical or mathematical thinking. While women do tend to score lower on tests for mathematical ability, there is mounting evidence that this has nothing to do with intelligence. Rather, it is the exposure to the stereotype that women are worse at maths that causes the discrepancy in ability. Scientists call this phenomenon stereotype threat, where knowledge of a stereotype affects a person’s behaviour or ability.

Studies have shown that in groups of students where children are reminded, even subtly, that girls are expected to have a lower mathematical ability, girls perform worse and boys perform better on tests compared to groups where no stereotype was mentioned.

Stereotype threat holds true even for established adult scientists. A recent linguistic study at the University of British Columbia showed that female scientists talking to male scientists tended to use submissive language and sound less confident in their research compared to when communicating with other female scientists. The study suggests that even when the individuals involved in the study knew that stereotypes about women were not true, knowledge of them affected their behaviour.

But it’s hard to understand exactly how differently men and women are treated in science because very few people have seen both sides. That’s why a 2006 Wall Street Journal interview with transgender scientists about their experiences with sexism was particularly remarkable. When asked the biggest gender difference that she had noticed at work, Joan (née Jonathan) Roughgarden commented, “[Women must] establish competence to an extent that men never have to. They’re assumed to be competent until proven otherwise, whereas a woman is assumed to be incompetent until she proves otherwise… I remember going on a drive with a man. He assumed I couldn’t read a map.”

“

A recent campaign by the European Commission, “Science: It's a girl thing”, was particularly nauseating, involving women prancing about in high heels" So it all seems to come down to

the way that women are perceived by society. This begins at a young age. Any glimpse in toy store will show you that girls are inundated with the message that they must be pink and pretty at all times. Toys like Lego are marketed to boys, while girls are expected to play with dolls and dresses. Even efforts to attract young girls to science are based on this assumption, with boxes advertising make-your-own eyeliner chemistry kits. A recent promotional campaign by the European Commission, “Science: It’s a girl thing”, was particularly nauseating, involving women prancing about in high heels while a handsome male lab technician looked on. It’s this trivialisation of women that causes people to internalise the idea that they shouldn’t be taken seriously. It puts men and women on uneven footing when interacting with each other and makes it difficult to relate. If we want to attract women to scientific fields, we need to change our basic approach.

Instead of trying to make science look as though it panders to this prescribed notion of femininity, we need to work to change the way women are treated by society. We need to communicate that women are human beings with minds of their own who can be anything they want, whether that is homemaker or chemical engineer. And they don’t have to wear pink if they don’t want to.

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

19 Science & Environment

Vodka to cure your hangover...

Really? Ada Kozlowska examines the science behind the theory that your alcoholic poison is your cure with the new alcohol dose, it ignores last night’s leftovers. Although it sounds tempting, fighting evil with evil in this case is not so effective, and having another drink just postpones the hangover. While some of the symptoms are temporarily treated, the alcohol remains in the system for longer. The main disadvantages are lowered productivity and other general consequences of alcohol consumption (impaired memory and visual-spatial skills). It is also worth noting that drinking in the morning is considered a sign of alcoholism in some countries.

“

The sound of your eyelids closing makes your head pound and you struggle to remember the events of the night" Alcohol is not the only psychoactive drug widely recommended on the internet as a hangover cure, good old marijuana is too. In fact, it doesn’t work as a remedy – it is just easier to tolerate hangover symptoms if you are slightly high. Smoking increases appetite and diminishes nausea. It doesn’t supply the body with intoxicating substances, so the alcohol can be digested at a normal pace.

Another popular way to deal with hangovers are painkillers such as aspirin, Tylenol and ibuprofen. They might

SCOTTISH SCIENCE NEWS Arguments are abuzz

CLAIRE MCARTHUR

Having trouble getting over your hangover? It is probably fair to say that everyone has faced this particular after-effect at one point or another, when the sound of your eyelids closing makes your head pound and you struggle to remember the events of the night before.

There are numerous myths regarding curing hangovers, including the student favourite: a vodka shot in the morning!

The hangover is a very common syndrome caused by alcohol overconsumption. Symptoms may vary, but the most common include: headaches, nausea, dehydration, fatigue, vomiting, elevated body temperature, trouble with concentration and occasionally stealing a tiger from Mike Tyson. Alcohol breakdown in the liver uses an agent to gain the required electrons for the reaction, which causes the chemical product NADH to build up. Usually the liver can sort out this imbalance, but as alcohol is toxic its removal from the body takes priority, and the surplus of NADH causes a reduction in the amount of glucose in the blood.

This all accounts for the concentration difficulties, drowsiness and lethargy of a hangover, as glucose is the primary respiration substrate for the brain.

As some of the hangover symptoms after binge drinking, such as a headache, are caused by the withdrawal of alcohol, you’d think having a drink should help.

According to the legends, a shot of vodka is a perfect remedy for the effects of over consuming vodka the night before. The thinking behind the ‘hair-of-the-dog’ strategy is simple: while your body deals

ANYTHING STRONGER? Testing the 'fighting fire with fire' approach relieve symptoms such as headaches and fatigue, but the effects of use with alcohol present in the body can include stomach bleeding and liver damage.

Of course, the best method to avoid a hangover is not to drink at all. Fortunately, there are other prevention techniques. These include having a good meal consisting of greasy food before drinking, like scrambled eggs with a lot of butter and bacon. The fat layer will protect the stomach lining and allows us to evade surprises on the way. Alcohol increases urine excretion, which leads to dehydration and loss of nutrients. Drinking

water and other non-alcoholic beverages during alcohol consumption and straight after reduces the alcohol-induced dehydration. It is also important to eat – after a night out of binge drinking, sugar and ion levels are low. Eating products rich in carbohydrates and minerals will make it easier to obtain energy.

Although the research in this area has ruled out some cures, such as ‘hair-of-thedog’, it has failed to prove any of the treatments completely effective. This leaves us with nothing but a few common-sense remedies, the efficiency of which everyone can investigate for themselves.

Fish and fried bananas for tea?

CLIMATE CHANGE is not simply a rise in temperature. Almost everyone is familiar with the concept of climate change, and there is a lot of information in the media about issues caused by global warming, such as Artic ice melting, sea levels rising and natural disasters. However, perhaps ice melting and sea levels rising do not seem very frightening, since the consequences are not striking close to home; as long as there is ice in our drinks and enough beach for a sunny day. But what about a real world consequence that will affect every single one of us?

Climate change has primed a time bomb that is going to have a devastating effect on food production. Agriculture will be affected by the fluctuations in the average temperature and temperature extremes, the amount and geographical patterns of rain, soil moisture, atmospheric composition and air quality. Climate change even influences insect outbreaks and patterns of human settlement. All of these impact on crop yields and their quality. The United Nations World Food Programme reports that every seventh man goes to bed hungry at night. More people die from starvation than from AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis together.

In 2008, the World Food Programme called the situation a “silent tsunami” of world hunger. And with climate change things are only getting worse. It is a widespread notion that the problem of hunger is the problem of developing countries,

VIBRANTSWR

Anastasiya Kishkevich explains why we may have to substitute food staples as a result of climate change

FRIED FRUIT: What about chips?

but it is not absolutely true, and as food prices skyrocket in the next decade awareness of this will increase.

Today, the United Nations is really concerned about a food crisis that will affect all countries. 2012 has been extremely dry in some major food exporting countries, like the USA, and as a result yields were unexpectedly low. According to the UN, world grain reserves are running out fast and another dry year in main food exporters may trigger a world crisis. Some experts are very pessimistic and suggest being ready for the ‘war’ for food.

It is not only food staples from grains such as wheat, maize and rice that will suffer from climate change, but potatoes as well. Potatoes prefer cooler climates and these popular European crops will not withstand a temperature rise. Another two food commodities that will suffer from overall higher temperatures will be grapes and olives, important for wine and olive oil. The High Level Panel of Experts on Food Security and Nutrition reported to the United Nations committee on world food security that 22 of the world’s most important agricultural commodities will be affected by climate change, including crops such as bananas, barley, beans, fisheries, livestock and soybeans.

The worrying list goes on.

So what are governments and scientists proposing to change the situation?

A lot of effort is put on reducing all kinds of emission of greenhouse gases that are

thought to be the major cause of climate change. Even agriculture itself is one of the sources of those emissions due to use of the process that produces and distributes fertilizers. Today levels of these emissions fall as new farming technologies are adopted. Scientists suggest that substituting certain crops that will not grow in higher temperatures with more tolerant plants may be a solution. One of the examples is potatoes, which may be substituted by plants from the banana family in developing countries. This substitution has the potential to cause serious dietary changes, which will also affect certain cultures. Imagine: fish and chips may be replaced by fried bananas in the future! Another solution may be genetically modified plants, as certain GM crops can keep consistent yields in changing weather conditions. Despite the possible advantages of GM food, a lot of promotional work and legislation procedures would be required to make GM food widely consumed.

At the same time the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations reports of food losses. Food losses are not only food waste that is produced by consumers, but also losses that take place at production, post-harvest and processing stages in the food supply chain. Thus, it is obvious that changes in food production strategies and attitudes towards food are required to avoid a global crisis.

Bee conservation issues are being debated in the Scottish Parliament this week, after the Scottish Wildlife Trust has demanded that the Scottish Parliament should ban the use of a certain group of insecticides. A similar campaign is being fought in Westminster by the group 38 Degrees, for which the Scottish Wildlife Trust has also submitted evidence. The insecticides under scrutiny are neonicotinoids, a range of compounds that protect crops from insect damage by affecting the insect nervous system, resulting in paralysis and death. Plants can absorb neonicotinoids, which spread through the entire plant. Bees and other pollinators may consume pollen and nectar affected by neonicotinoids, by which point the dose is not high enough to kill the bee but could be high enough to have a detrimental impact on the health and survival of the insect, resulting in the long term decrease of the species.

Doctor Meggie Keegan, Head of Policy of the Scottish Wildlife Trust, told The Student that the decision to continue the use of these pesticides was “blind to the other issues of biodiversity”, as continued use of these chemicals could lead to collapse of pollinators in Britain, which are invaluable for crop cultivation and are worth around £43 million to the Scottish economy. She stated, “we should be adopting the precautionary principle” by banning these chemicals until they are proven not to have damaging effects. The Bumblebee Conservation Trust also told The Student that more research was needed, but voiced fears that an outright ban may lead to the use of chemicals with an impact more detrimental than neonicotinoids. In Westminster, the Department for Environmental, Food & Rural Affairs (Defra) argues that pesticides are tightly regulated and the research does not represent conditions in the field.

Defra therefore argues that data should be collected from two further studies before action is taken. The Scottish Parliament may echo Defra’s view, but some support within Parliament has been shown by Green MSP Alison Johnstone, who has proposed a ban for these chemicals.

At the heart of the issue is the need for more research. Doctor Keegan asserts the importance of the campaign, “We have a powerful voice, members of the public, and that at a time when economic concerns are paramount to politicians, these campaigns show that environmental issues are still important.” Therefore, while an outright ban of these chemicals is still in the balance, the Scottish Wildlife Trust has been successful in raising the profile and highlighting need for research into this important issue.

Eleanor Drinkwater

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

herring@studentnewspaper.org

20 Crossword & Horoscopes

ES

S O OR

H Mystery Martin and his lesser spotted wabbit make a

CRYPTIC CLUES

Oliver ninnis

P O C

Dual Crossword No. 23 BY PICUS

living from working the children's birthday party circuit and writing freelance horoscopes.

Don't mention their unconvential magician rabbit relationship – we live in a tolerant society for goodness sake! The rabbit is very much OUT of the hat...

Aries

This week, you simultaneously record Britain’s Got Talent and The Great Escape on your Sky box-thing. However, you find that Sky has magically combined them. Contestants all think they’re going to escape their mundane lives and meet the Queen... instead they just get shot.

Taurus

Neptune’s been hanging out with Giorgio Armani this week - that can mean only one thing: Georgian wigs are back in fashion! You rock the ‘Sir Walter Scott’ look so hard that retail outlets mistake you for a large bank note, accepting your mere presence as a payment for goods. To your outrage, this doesn’t work South of the border.

Gemini

Your complaint an English Literature seminar, that ‘Hard Times’ didn’t even give you a boner, an obvious indication of how bad Charles Dickens was at writing porno, is not met with the level of awestruck veneration anticipated.

Your narcissistic snort of laughter stands naked and embarrassed in the frosty, unimpressed silence.

Cancer

This week you meet your nemesis. He wears a hat littered with your comrades. His coat jingles with the murderous device used to break your comrades’ wings. Yes, it is none other than the Pigeon Man of the Cowgate.

Leo

You are getting tired of this dweeby guy who you smiled at in Freshers week and has stuck, limpet-like, to your cool crowd of cucumbers ever since.

Couldn’t he tell that your endearing grin all those weeks ago mixed pity with a strong warning to stick to his own kind.

Virgo

Be cautious of your own virility this week Virgo! No really, use condoms.

Libra

You accidentally attend an aerobics class at your local gym (Mars switched the signs on the door, the bastard). As the class begins, your initial temptation towards abject shame and humiliation is soon swamped under wave upon wave of excruciating pain that screech red hot through muscles whose existence you have spent the past few years of inactivity deliberately trying to forget. You pass out ten minutes through only to awake to your 50 year-old, wizened-yet-sprightly instructor looming over your in her industrial strength sports bra, bellowing ‘Who’s your daddy!?’ ‘Who’s your momma now!?’ ‘Come on, who’s your emergency contact so we call them to pick you up?’ The abject shame and humiliation resurfaces at roughly the moment you find you have an erection and have shat yourself.

Scorpio

Your detox programme isn’t fitting with your social life. Your attempt to draw friends away from Potterrow with your ‘Big Raw Food Smoothie’ club night is a ‘raw’ring failure.

Sagittarius

The sun has nothing to do with horoscopes. And you have nothing to do with success. But just as the sun is the centre of my world, Brian is in his unitard waiting for your return.

Capricorn

It’s mid November now, and your World of Warcraft Dragon Painting Brigade has really taken a hit since the Hogsmede Hufflepuff Potter Pervs started accepting muggles. Typical!

Aquarius

Ever since that pitch black lift journey in the library you have developed a curious limp and fondness for cheddar.

Pisces

Pesky Pisces! You get up to no good this weekend. Just watch out for Virgo!

CONCISE CLUES (same answers) ACROSS 1 A lot (figuratively) (9) 6 Fluffy scarf (3) 8 Dismissal (informal) (5-2) 9 Norwegian playwright (5) 10 Old magistrate (5) 12 One who uses Twitter (7) 13 Greek island (3) 14 English river (5) 15 To be in debt (3) 16 Leghorn – as is (7) 18 A bowler’s approach (3-2) 20 Señora Perón (5) 21 Ravage, damage (7) 23 No in Dumfries (3) 24 Yankee dosh (9)

DOWN 1 NE Indian State (5) 2 Horses that jump (7) 3 Ovine lady (3) 4 Ab ovo - colloquially (4, 3, 4, 2) 5 Sort of sheep (or cheese) (9) 6 Surrounded, harassed (5) 7 Grand National course (7) 11 Outward appearances (9) 13 A girl in Ireland (7) 15 Self-inflicted damage (3, 4) 17 Assert, declare vocally (5) 19 Garden phlowers (5) 22 Lump of turf (3)

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 22 ACROSS 5 DICE WITH DEATH (DCI White hated)* 9 MELON Car ^ olan –> Carmel O'Nolan 10 EPIGRAM Wild) e + pig + ram 11 ARCHAIC chair* in ac 13 TONGS N in togs 15 ELFIN dam’s) el fin (ally 17 FUCHSIA [such fai (r)]* 19 WINDSOR winds + or gold 20 KEATS takes*, Kate’s*, steak* 21 SPINE-CHILLING spin + E + chilling

DOWN 1 ADAM’S ALE a dam sale 2 SWAN S + WAN 3 ADRIATIC H) adria (n) + tic 4 CHUM C + hum (workers - bees) 6 COLIC CIC round Lo (rev) 7 THENCEFORTH Fort H under the, N, CE 8 APRON an round pro 12 AGNUS DEI (Gain used)* 14 STAR SIGN sign round tars* 16 FUNGI fun (adj) + gi (rl) 18 SWAMI S + w + ami 19 WASP was p (quiet) 20 KALI K (Potassium) + Ali ‘Chemical Ali’ (Iraq under Sadaam)

ACROSS 1 Young man about town brandishing flute a lot (9) 6 Serpent and wild beast run away (3) 8 Cardinal and prayer house get the push (5-2) 9 Playwright trapped by memsahibs en déshabille (5) 10 Old Magistrate’s bird (5) 12 Loudspeaker for social networker (7) 13 Chief of Staff in Greek island (3) 14 River of red wine overwhelming resistance (5) 15 You and I have nothing to be indebted for (3) 16 Contracted to be (or not to be) in Italian port (7) 18 The part of Plaid Cymru nuptials that leads to delivery (3-2) 20 I’ve returned to join cheers for a nation’s heroine (5) 21 Some of the French quietly lubricate rifle, and maraud (7) 23 I’m no Scottish and not available (English) (3) 24 American money from ‘59 chasing mad SNP duo (9)

DOWN 1 Black hair gets tangled, in a state (5) 2 Hunters and horses, hounds and drinks (7) 3 Lady Cheviot’s wee disaster? (3) 4 It’s part of Scripture – “ depart without delay “ (4, 3, 4, 2) 5 Gloriana’s favourite cheese (9) 6 Invested in root crop containing a trace of sugar (5) 7 Course with its own Scottish pedigree (7) 11 Former bird (crazy Sal) preserves outward appearances (9) 13 Pass skinny-sounding girl in Dublin (7) 15 Olga won all ends up - a gift from the opposition (3, 4) 17 Immorality has nothing (within) to declare (5) 19 Church congregations reportedly give flowers (5) 22 His law covers mishaps, and turf (3)

The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is recommended.

Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors. * = anagram of the preceding material (rev) = reverse the preceding material

A bit about cryptic clues This week we’ll take another look at surface meanings and underlying structure, which we touched on two weeks ago.

With a cryptic clue the compiler has to supply you with a definition of the answer and the extra information needed to find the same answer by a different route.

Naturally he doesn’t want to make things too easy, so he tries to disguise which part of the clue is the definition, and to mislead you about how the non-definition part of the clue provides the internal crosscheck. He does this by trying to lead you in a different direction.

Girl climber (3) IVY Basic synonym clues provide little opportunity for disguise, but the compiler has tried to make you think of female mountaineers.

Ghostly duck leaves flickering clear spot (8)

SPECTRAL In this composite clue the compiler has tried to distract you from the definition (ghostly) by linking it with duck, whose real role is to represent the ‘o’ which is to be removed (indicator: leaves) from the anagram of clear spot (indicator: flickering).

Explosive almost gutted tenement (15)

TRINITROTOLUENE The definition is explosive. If tenement (the word) were completely gutted it would give t t. The result of almost gutting it, is either te t or T NT (the answer).

Finally a very difficult clue from last week’s Times, together with the answer.

Can you work out the unsderlying structure before next week?

Number of hands on deck? (6,4,4)

BANANA BOAT SONG

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

It’s even bigger than hip hop Madeleine Ash discovers it doesn’t always have to be guns, gangs and ghettos with the crew of Some Like it Hip Hop Some like it hip hop Festival Theatre Run ended

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Skin Music Summerhall 'til 24 November

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pon entering the Skin Music exhibition, the viewer is greeted by a single leather chair in the middle of an otherwise empty room. The chair is specially equipped with vibrating panels under the leather, designed to pulsate in time with a uniquely composed six minute piece of music. Conceived

by Lauren Sarah Hayes, the installation is described as an ‘exploration of how music affects us physically’. Although this description may sound innovative and artistic, the experience of the actual piece is a bit anti-climactic.

“

A neater and more aesthetically pleasing room would have added to the experience, as well as the seemingly basic addition of a door" To begin with, to call the loud, continuous onslaught of noise which pours from the speakers ‘music’ is to use a very liberal interpretation of the word. The sound can only be described

KICKIN' IT: Jo-Jo and Simeon woo each other with dance moves, hanging out in the laundry room. rageously talented singers and rappers, in particular the three ladies (Sherona Knight, Elliotte Williams-N’Dure and Sheree Dubois) who use their velvety tones and lungs of steel to provoke a

as what one imagines when picturing the noises within a large industrial factory, combined with the sound effects of a frightening science-fiction movie, and perhaps the screeching feedback that a microphone makes when it gets too close to a speaker. One viewer left the exhibit halfway through, complaining that it have given her a headache.

Though it is not possible to call the sound pleasant, it was certainly powerful and overwhelming, though this may have been due to the volume more than anything else.

“

To call the loud, continuous onslaught of noise which pours from the speakers ‘music’ is to use a very liberal interpretation of the word" The fusion of the noise and the perfectly timed vibrations against your skin does present a unique sensation.

Hearing the soundtrack from outside the room is a wholly different experience to being surrounded and encompassed from within the installation. For a piece concerned with sensual experience however, the curation was not as meticulous as could be desired. A neater and more aesthetically pleasing room would have added to the experience, as

range of emotions from bursting energy to heart wrenching sadness.

Utilizing these fantastic tunes the choreography employs a smorgasbord of styles including poppin’, lockin’,

well as the seemingly basic addition of a door. In the course of my six minute experience, exactly two mothers with strollers and crying babies interrupted my concentration. Overall, though the concept was intriguing, the installation failed to capitalise on its potential.

Focusing on the finer touches and the aesthetic portion of the experience could have taken this piece from bland to exhilarating, but instead, it was just a person listening to some loud noises in a vibrating chair.

Brittni Tee

Peter dibdin

he sun has been blocked out, books are banned and the world is dominated by misogynist men chewing cigars, playing poker and grabbing their crotch. That is, until Jo-Jo (Sarah Richards) and Kerri (Minica Beason), with the help of long lost daughter Oprah (Natasha Gooden), drag up in suits and moustaches to infiltrate it; havoc, romance and a heck of a lot of dancing ensues.

After cutting their teeth on the West End with Into the Hoods, ZooNation, led by founder and Edinburgh Graduate Kate Prince, embark on their first national tour – bringing a full length hip hop show to the all corners of the UK. It is a show brimming over with ideas, talent and energy.

The completely original soundtrack was created for the production by DJ Walde and Josh Cohen and draws on 60s tunes such as 'It is a Man’s World', combining them with Hip Hop beats; a theme reflected in the choreography as pony steps and ‘the twist’ sneak in between top rock and krumping. A lovely nod the roots of hip hop.

It is performed live by a set of out-

Zoonation

T

SKIN: Pickin' up bad vibrations

krumping, breaking and rock ‘n’ roll, all performed with infectious enthusiasm.

Duwane Taylor’s (Governor Okeke) exorcism style krump was something special with every sinew of his body

The woman who went to bed for a year SUE TOWNSEND Penguin 2012

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ue Townsend’s The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year, gives us a chance to imagine what would happen if we fulfilled every student’s dream and just didn’t get out of bed one day. Turns out, it does not go as well as you might expect. A duvet day may be nice once in a while but to spend an entire year in your bed may be a bit excessive.

The novel’s main character, Eva Beaver decides that since her children have moved away for university she can finally just stop; stop doing everything she did to keep them, her husband, and the house running. She retires to her bed and from there has time to think, as she watches the world go by through her window. Friendships form and hearts are broken as Eva refuses to move. When questioned, she cannot give an answer as to why she is there, other than that she feels she needs to stay. As events unravel, Eva becomes known to the public - crowds start to gather and the belief that she is an angel begins to spread. Eva’s mental state is constantly questioned throughout the novel, but those close to her remain sure that she is stable.

Townsend does manage to raise some

visibly contorting and straining with power, and enhanced by thoughtful lighting.

Sarah Richards too, shone, exuding enjoyment, optimism and seemingly endless energy. The entire cast were fantastic, not only at mastering the vast array of styles included in the choreography, but acting their characters and playing the cheeky, comedy infused choreography for big laughs.

The key to the success of this production isn’t that the performers are talented in one area, but that each person is talented in multiple areas. They are well rounded and this is revealed slowly, providing little surprises throughout the show. Be it the narrator, who it turns out can beatbox; the female soul singer, who can also rap; or the krumper, who also plays piano, the message seems to be don’t limit yourself.

Some Like it Hip Hop has taken the genre of hip hop, kept the positives, stripped the negative connotations and topics, and instead inserted ideas of love, forgiveness and staying in school.

This is PG Hip Hop, and it is marvellous. The audience end on their feet and, encouraged by the cast and inspired by the show, bust a few, simpler moves in the auditorium.

As I left the theatre in high spirits a little boy skipped out and danced all the way down the hill. ZooNation – mission accomplished.

interesting questions through the main character’s reclusive move. Eva begins to think about God and the suffering in the world, but also turns her mind to her own past and the decisions she made. With the novel’s supply of crazy characters – from the asocial, mathematical genius twins, Brian Jr. and Brianne, to the white van man and landscape painter Alexander – the humour should be rife. The absurd nature of the situation does bring comic relief but these instances are more ‘quiet chuckle’ than ‘laugh out loud’. The book is well-written and the different storylines manages to keep the novel moving and interesting throughout. However, the plot does, at times, seem a bit unrealistic and some elements are downright bizarre – I mean, who calls twins Brian and Brianne?

“

Imagine what would happen if we fulfilled every student's dream and just didn't get out of bed."

If you are looking for a silly book to read, this one will do the trick. Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed.

It takes your mind off the important stuff for a while and lets you laugh at ridiculous characters and a weird and amusing plot.

Kat Moir

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Theatre buff? Review it!!

22 Culture Star Rating

Un-bear-lievable In-croc-able The necessary koalifications Oh deerIrrelephant

The art of colouring in

ROYGBIV

This week's cultural spectrum

Eva O'Connor takes us through the work of S J Peploe at The Scottish Colourist Series exhibition

the coffee pot by s j peploe at the national galleries of scotland

the scottish colourist series: S J Peploe The Gallery of Modern Art 'til 23 June 2013

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amuel John Peploe (1871-1935) was one of most famous and respected of the Scottish colourists, and the retrospective of one hundred of his finest paintings currently showing at The Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art leaves the viewer in no doubt of why. Peploe’s works are alive with vivid colour, depth, experimentation and richness of life.

The exhibition charts his career as a Scottish artist who constantly sought inspiration from European masters such as Manet, Picasso, Matisse and Derain. The hundred pieces on show range from meticulously detailed still lifes, to stunning French and Scottish landscapes, to compelling portraits of the working class.

In his early career Peploe mainly painted dark, haunting still lifes, inspired by the style of Manet’s work.

the spectators Bedlam Theatre Run ended

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edlam’s latest production sees protagonist Sam joining the malicious Ivy and Kasper on an eerie journey through the moments in his life that have led up to his mysterious and gruesome death. The Spectators is a piece of new writing from James Beagon and although it suffers from an inconclusive plot, the play is darkly comical and an interesting watch.

Despite strong performances from all involved, the characters often lacked definitive features, and at times they would have benefited from greater

STILL A-LIFE: Samuel John Peploe's art lives on at the National Gallery However after a two year stint in France, he developed a more contemporary and experimental flair, and was heavily influenced by Fauvism. The works on display serve as breathtaking proof that Peploe truly earned his title as a founding father of British modernism.

After the first world war, Peploe

embarked on the most experimental stage of his career, using rich, bold colours to create daring still lifes, inspired

by Cubism and particularly Paul Cezanne. Peploe was driven by a desire to perfectly capture everyday objects such as flowers, books, jugs and coffee pots, which he meticulously painted in end-

depth and dimension, while sudden and unexpected emotional shifts (a frequent feature) served to disrupt the flow of the performance.

Exceptions to this are the otherworldly spectators. Jack Kinross manages to perfect the cool, sinister demeanour of Kasper; his characterisation is perfectly complimented by his partner in crime, the over-excitable Ivy, played by Bonnie Aspinwall who portrays her character's eccentricity remarkably well through her fast-paced dialogue.

The revolving set was an excellent technical choice, with the unfolding of the set beautifully reflecting the unfolding of events in Sam’s life. The film reel that accompanied some of the scenes was often moving and the sequences managed to effectively heighten the

sense of tragedy at key moments in the play.

The Spectators achieves a degree of poignancy, but is by no means a depressing watch: the darkly comic nature of the piece provides the audience with moments of relief from the more serious issues that are explored.

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Although it suffers from an inconclusive plot, the play is darkly comical and an interesting watch."

Throughout the first act the story itself looks set to be a thought-provoking one. The audience reaches the interval intrigued as to where Sam’s journey will

less combinations.

An entire room of these experimental still lifes makes for mesmerising viewing. Despite the colourful, bold, beauty of the art he produced in his later years, Peploe’s work was considered too radical and received a poor critical reception in Edinburgh art circles of the time.

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This exhibition honours an exceptionally talented man who was not fully appreciated during his lifetime" The exhibition, which spans four rooms in the Modern Art gallery (a haven of tranquility and culture) is beautiful, extensive and enthralling. It was not until long after his death that Peploe gained international acclaim for his work. This exhibition honours an exceptionally talented man who was not fully appreciated during his lifetime, and ensures that one of Edinburgh greatest artists is finally getting recognition he deserves. lead him. Unfortunately, the second act doesn’t quite deliver on these initial expectations. The cathartic realisation that the audience anticipates isn’t absent but is rather overdone. There are several points at which the play could have finished and these multiple conclusions leave the audience at something of a loose end. Though the play is let down somewhat by its messy characterisation and confusing closing scene, The Spectators manages at times to be both funny and tragic.

Elements of the play are promising, for example the set is very effective and the spectators themselves are excellent, highly entertaining characters. It is a shame these high standards aren’t quite matched in other aspects of the play.

Sophie Shearer

THE POETRY DOCTOR with Isabella Flanders

This week: miniature horses, domestic companions and Byron's pet bear

The life of a student does not accommodate domestic companions easily, what with reluctant landlords, allergic flatmates, cluttered rooms and potential vet bills. But according to the ninth century Irish monk who wrote “Pangur Ban”, pets make great study buddies. His cat inspires him to persevere when the going gets academically tough, as they hunt words and mice together, late into the night. So don’t give up; pets and students can be compatible.

Lord Bryon was confronted with a pet predicament when at Cambridge University. Banned from keeping a dog in his room, Byron acquired a bear instead. Similarly, you could consider a more unusual choice. A rampaging bear probably won’t create the same study atmosphere as Pangur Ban (goodness knows how Byron got anything written), so opt for something smaller, like a beetle. Hypoallergenic and easy to feed, all they need is a cosy matchbox (though make sure you label it properly to avoid the traumatising events in A.A. Milne’s “Alexander Beetle”).

Sadly, with the best will in the world, bears, beetles or any zoological option might simply prove unfeasible. But if the grief of petlessness becomes the elephant in the room in your flat, at least you then have an elephant. In fact, any concept or

emotion can be turned into a pet, like Ted Hughes’s “The Thought-Fox”. Thus lust can become a skunk (Seamus Heaney’s “The Skunk”), human hypocrisy can take rodent form ( John Betjeman’s “Diary of a Church Mouse”) and the transience of youth can grow magnificent feathers (W.B. Yeats’s “The Wild Swans at Coole”). We humans have welcomed wolves and wildcats into our homes because their peculiar characteristics remind us of familiar ideas and feelings.

So there’s no need for a real pet; stop at animal imagery, which can offer all the fulfilment, with none of the excrement.

Got a problem? We can cure you!

All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at poetrydoctor.studentnewspaper@gmail. com.

L

Troy Holmes

Look oot for...

The Raconteur, a new night of live storytelling, presents “A Night of Mistakes” on 15 Nov. Come along to The Third Door at 8 pm for a chance to tell a story from your life, or listen to someone else do the same. No notes allowed!

Jalen vasquez

Dear Poetry Doctor, Me and my flatmates really want a pet.

But our flat is too small for a dog, we don’t have a cat flap, my flatmate is allergic to miniature horses and we think that a guinea pig might smell. Any advice on what our perfect pet would be? If not, please help us to come to terms with our grief!

Morality of the camera ast Friday the Southbank center opened its doors to the World Press Photo exhibition 2012, showing the winners of a prestigious annual photojournalism award. Every year the prize features some controversial images and this year is no exception.

The role of a photojournalist must be a taxing, difficult and morally contentious one to play. On one hand, the documentation of war through photography is an essential and honorable profession. But on the other hand, images of horror and pain are always morally ambiguous and potentially exploitative. Some images this year seem to strip their subjects of all context and shows them at emotively powerful moments, posing the question of which is more important – the issue or the photograph?

Samuel Aranda’s image of a woman in Yemen, her face almost fully covered, clutching her son who has been tear-gassed, really stands out. The pose is one of pure emotion, the man reduced to a boy in his mother’s arms.

Sometimes the best images are those that are voyeuristically uncomfortable. Another prizewinner was Brent Stirton’s image of Maria, a Ukrainian prostitute who fuels her drug addiction through sex work. She is presented is a highly provocative way, confronting the camera directly, as though we are the client and she is offering her body to us.

These images remind me of Eddie Adams’ Vietnam War coverage, now ubiquitous with the conflict and Kevin Carter’s infamous image of a Sudanese child and a vulture. Accused of being morally bankrupt, Carter eventually took his own life. This discussion shouldn’t turn into judgment, but I can’t pretend that this year’s winners don’t make me a little uncomfortable. Is it okay to photograph a drug addicted sex worker, give her some money, maybe a hot meal, and then leave? Is that exploitative, or exposing a hard truth? But I can’t imagine many photographers claim to be aid workers; their job is to take photos.

Perhaps you can do both, but I always wonder what matters more in those split second moments, reaching for the camera or saving the life of another human being? Regardless, this year’s crop of winners are beautiful, moving and inspiring and I would encourage you to check them out. (www.worldpressphoto.org)

Two new exhibitions are opening at the Talbot Rice Gallery on Saturday, Zoe Beloff 's A History of Dreams Remains to be Written and Merlin James’ Charachoune: The Exhbition is Open

Tuesday November 13 2012

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Culture 23 fully, their vivid opinions and thought processes provide well-needed humour to lighten the mood. Murakami gives a slightly comical view of modern life that is always poignantly tempered by a sense of detachment.

the elephant vanishes Haruki Murakami The Harvill Press 2001 bookreviewsforrealpeople.blogspot.com

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ost famous for his best-selling novels Norwegian Wood and the 1Q84 trilogy, Murakami’s short stories have arguably been overlooked. This is a true shame because his lyrical and mysterious style is well suited to a genre hinged on epiphanic moments.

“

In all the stories in The Elephant Vanishes Murakami cultivates the bisarre and the fantastical."

The Elephant Vanishes is a collection of short stories whose plots centre around extraordinary and unexpected situations that pierce the fog of everyday contemporary life – a wife who hasn’t needed to sleep for seventeen days, a mysterious dream about a dancing dwarf and a curse-breaking heist in

42nd street Edinburgh Playhouse Run ended

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his charming revival of one of the longest-running Broadway musicals ever sparkles with glitz and glamour, and combined with poignantly rendered favourites like “Lullaby of Broadway”, makes for the ultimate musical experience.

The magnificent set design transported us to 1930s New York City and complimented the musical’s exploration of what dreams were made of in depression-era America.

CONFUSED: The world is turned upside down in Murakami's stories McDonalds.

In all the stories in The Elephant Vanishes, Murakami cultivates the bizarre and the fantastical. Sometimes they do seem too strange even to be readable and a pause for contemplation and a small chuckle is necessary.

But that is the genius of Murakami.

His writing is a triumph of ‘making strange’ and by removing that sense of rationality which colours the way we see the world he addresses the reality of

existence in busy modern life.

The characterization is stunning, each individual seems knowable and unique, yet they all have one thing in common: a sense of isolation and misdirection pervade their lives. These stories can leave you feeling horribly disturbed as each character floats through life talking to but never engaging with their fellow humans and never seeming fully content as they plough on with their daily routines. Thank-

This behind-the-scenes tale centres on the rise to stardom of the innocent and naïve Peggy Sawyer, an Allentown native who arrives in New York to pursue musical theatre as part of a chorus line.

mance, however, fate is reversed and Peggy is thrown into the lead role of the musical, ‘Pretty Lady’. She certainly does not disappoint her director, Julian Marsh, whose last piece of encouragement and given before her performance is, “You’re going out a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star.”

Peggy’s youth and talent shines in her leading role, and even the initially unsympathetic musical legend Dorothy Brock - the original star of the show- admits that she does not regret having Sawyer as her replacement. The two then sing a beautiful reconciliation duet, “About a Quarter to Nine”, in Peggy’s dressing room.

The dance routines were crucial to creating the upbeat, energetic atmosphere of this piece, and while the tap

“

The magnificent set design transported us to 1930s New York City."

Jessica Punch masterfully conveys the initial clumsiness of Peggy, which we cannot help but find adorable due to her unceasing smile and determination to ‘see the sunny side of every situation’.

At the last minute before the perfor-

COMMISSION #10: jessica dunleavy

“

One that cannot be forgotten once the final page has been read, The Elephant Vanishes is definitely worth reading."

Indeed, the fantastical dimensions of this collection might be hard to grasp but without it the stories would never be as alive as they are. This is a compelling book that leaves you feeling at once inexplicably uncomfortable and quietly amused. One that cannot be forgotten once the final page has been read, The Elephant Vanishes is definitely worth reading. Breathing life into a genre often disregarded in favour of the novel, he meshes the mystical and the painfully human for a thoroughly ‘out-of-body’ reading experience; Murakami proves himself to be a master of the short story genre.

Hannah Doughty sequences were impressive, there appeared to be some marginally tasteless sections in the choreography of the chorus line. The outstanding talent of the performers, however, shone as bright as their glitzy costumes.

A particularly remarkable performance was delivered by Dave Willets as Julian Marsh, who displayed great depth and variety to his character, and was unexpectedly touching during the full company’s performance of “Lullaby of Broadway”.

Ultimately, this delightfully rendered classic rags-to-riches story is a great example of musical theatre’s ability to eloquently capture the atmosphere of a fleeting moment in time.

Maria Kheyfets Jessica Dunleavy is a final year MAFA student studying Intermedia at ECA. This image documents the making and conversation that took place during a skill-exchange session of the Sketchbook Library. Dunleavy wishes to engage socially in her artistic enquiry and explore the idea of ‘reskilling’ as a response to the social condition of deskilled labour.

These processes occur within her framing of the Sketchbook Library – a mobile, makeshift library, made up exclusively of sketchbooks.

Alongside this collection runs a series of workshops for the public who are invited to browse and photocopy pages of the books. With these photocopies, participants engage in skill-exchange, where skills are transmitted collectively.

The image here shows the culmination of calligraphy, embroidery and bookbinding.

The Sketchbook Library will be running for the next nine months. If you are interested in being involved or otherwise, please contact Jessica at s0820923@sms.ed.ac.uk.

Tuesday November 13 2012

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“Leading light of rock and roll”

ConcertTour, Flickr

Niall Carville finds that Jack White's energy and back-up band make for a memorable night at the Usher Hall

BLUNDERBUSS: With some rather unconventional drumming techniques

Yet the evening’s support, one Willy Moon, was unfortunately rather disappointing; despite a decidedly theatrical performance, his cover version of the Bo Diddley classic, “I’m A Man” is perhaps the worst you’re ever likely to hear this side of The X Factor.

Now, before we go any further, a little information for the uninitiated.

Jack White has gone solo after years of reinventing the rock wheel and simultaneously elevating some questionable drumming, and now spends his time touring with an all-female band, The Peacocks, and an all-male band, The Buzzardos, who alternate during gigs.

After releasing his number one album Blunderbuss in April, he now spends his time bringing good old rock and roll to

Singles and EPs I Am Kloot Hold Back the Night SHEPHERD MOON

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ost underground bands these days do not get as much recognition as they deserve but for I Am Kloot this is unfortunately not the case. The Elbow-inspired band has abandoned their soft tones and upbeat lyrics for something which could only be deemed as “mediocre”.

They have replaced their thoughtful and melancholic lyrics from previous hits such as “Proof ” with a bitter and

the masses.

And with the atmosphere at fever pitch, Jack hit the stage with his allfemale band, and the night kicked off with the White Stripes cover of “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground”.

While the band showed off their immense skills, it was not until “Sixteen Saltines”, a track off the new album, that they really let loose. This included drummer, Carla Azar, who, without a hint of hyperbole, absolutely destroyed the drums. Satisfactory clichés have not yet been thought up that would adequately describe just how good she is on the drums.

Next up for special mention must be Ruby Amanfu who took centre stage for “Love Interruption”. For their duet, Jack let her take the limelight and she carried the song beautifully with the band supporting her. Afterwards,

harsh tone accompanied by hollow lines. The song starts with a refreshing jazzy blues introduction before John Bramwell’s try-too-hard northern whine begins.

With elongated vowels and short, harsh lines, “Hold Back The Night” leaves you waiting in anticipation for some fast-paced angst-y chorus but it remains the same throughout. If you’re not lucky enough to have turned it off after the disappointing introduction, the song evolves into a shamble of violin screeches, crashing drums and trumpets.

I’d advise all readers to “hold back” from listening to their new song.

Lucinda Ross

some honky tonk with “Hotel Yorba”, a reworked and stripped back cover of The Raconteurs song, “Top Yourself ”, and “Hypocritical Kiss”. In these few songs, the fiddle player really let loose and showed off some of her vast talent as well.

For the final few songs of The Peacocks set, we were treated to a few covers of harder rockers from his previous bands. “I Cut Like a Buffalo” from the Dead Weather was a stand out, as was the hit “Steady as She Goes”, which sent the crowd into a frenzy and was one of the highlights of the night. Jack and the band lengthened it out with a few solos for band members to make it a song to remember.

After that version of “Steady as She Goes”, anyone would be a little apprehensive about following the band, and it was probably the only disap-

Dirty Projectors About to Die EP DOMINO



R

eleased so soon after their comparatively subtle album Swing Lo Magellan, Dirty Projectors’s four track EP About to Die largely represents a continuation of the more stripped-back sound of that recent work. The third single from Magellan, “About to Die” reappears here and remains an infectious burst of off-kilter pop music that turns “I’m about to die!” into a joyous statement. “While You’re Here” sees

pointment of the night that The Buzzardos didn’t seem to be able to match their female counterparts. They did, however, manage to rip through “The Hardest Button to Button”, “Freedom at 21” and a jam like version of “Trash Tongue Talker”. These three were the highlights of their set.

Unfortunately the rest of the songs, while executed superbly, just seemed lacking that extra something. After the sing-along on “We’re Going to be Friends”, the next few songs seemed to blur past in a hard rock frenzy. The vocals were drowned out by the band which didn’t help distinguish them either. This was unfortunate, as when they did shine, The Buzzardos showed that they do have just as much talent as their counterparts, The Peacocks.

For The Buzzardos finale we had a song which no Jack White gig could do

singer Dave Longstreth accompanied by a string section in a moving tribute to TV On the Radio bassist Gerard Smith. Longstreth stretches his voice almost to the point of breaking but keeps control, the simple yet life-affirming message of the song, “while you are here you are alive” resonating with the listener. The final two tracks, “Here ‘Til It Says I’m Not” and “Simple Request” are more forgettable and sound like ideas that were more fully developed on Magellan or will be on future albums.

Yet overall About to Die is a worthy addition to the band’s recent work and a reminder that when keeping it simple, Dirty Projectors’s talent is often at its most obvious.

Jack ������������ Skelton

without. The anthem sung in football stadia around the world, “Seven Nation Army”. Yet, like most of The Buzzardos set, it just fell flat. While still enjoyed by the large crowd in front of the stage, it just didn’t seem to be as good as I was expecting.

While the all-male set may have been a slight let down, the encore more than made up for it. For it, both bands came out on stage for an unforgettable version of the legendary Leadbelly’s “Goodnight Irene”. It was an amazing occasion watching over a dozen of the best musicians in the world playing, in my opinion, one of the best songs in the world.

Overall, the gig was excellent, as good as you would expect from the leading light of rock and roll for the last ten years and one I'm sure the audience will not forget for a long time.

Theasutinchronicle

a packed Usher Hall that waited IUKtforwastour Jack White on the last stop of his and he did not disappoint.

ABOUT TO DIE: But looking good

Tuesday November 13 2012 Follow us on twitter @EdStudentMusic or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper music@studentnewspaper.org studentnewspaper.org

Music 25

Star Rating Seven Nation ArmyRed ArmyNew Model Army Army of TwoWarhammer Army

USHER

Vince Kidd

Lay Your Cards Out Totally Gross National Product

Polica

Numb Sony Music Entertainment

Sick Love Universal Island Records







Christina aguilera

chvrches

Your Body RCA

The Mother We Share National Anthem





n the first few listens, this is less sher’s recent career appears to be ince Kidd was the controversial fter her abysmal and awkward n “The Mother We Share”, this new O immediately, morbidly addictive Ua yo-yo. Between collaborations Vbleach blonde, token ‘alternative’ Acomeback in 2010, Christina IGlasgow trio have created a wonderthan last single “Dark Star”, but Polica’s with electro-pop producers like David contestant from BBC’s The Voice 2012. Aguilera returns with “Your Body,” a fully atmospheric song which combines

Rolo Tomassi Astraea Destination Moon

 heffield’s Rolo Tomassi have had S something of a tumultuous year.

Losing both your guitarist and bassist in one fell swoop can’t be easy to come back from, especially with such a unique brand of spacey progressive hardcore to keep up.

Despite this, it’s fair to say that with Astraea they have kept the dream alive, and have surely pushed their sound further onto new plains. From its ominously atmospheric beginnings, opener “Howl” erupts into front woman Eva Spence’s signature growl, still as ear shredding as ever, and crushing guitars that wouldn’t seem out of place soundtracking the ever approaching apocalypse. It would seem that line-up changes haven’t taken any of the fire from the collective Tomassi belly, but it’s actually in their more refrained moments that this album really shines and the improvement of them as a band can really be seen. Spence’s melodies are now stronger than ever, sometimes

Guetta; and appearances with hip-hop heavyweights Rick Ross and Jay-Z, it’s obvious Usher is a little unsure about his position in music. The singer’s latest offering, “Numb”, is firmly in the first camp. Ironically enough, it comes from his latest album Looking 4 Myself.

The production by Swedish House Mafia contrasts greatly from the lush production of Diplo in earlier single “Climax”, and “Numb” has all the characteristics of a chart-single: catchy vocals, super-compressed drums and glittering synths. Usher’s signature voice aside, the single provides little different from the other current electro-house anthems. The airy production and pounding rhythm will be enough to fill the floors of clubs worldwide which is, after all, what this single was designed to do.

James Pettinger

even taking centre stage on tracks such as “Ex Luna Scientia” and “Empiresk” where once they may have added a simple cut and paste breakdown in proceedings to try and keep things interesting.

This all serves to highlight the fact that Rolo Tomassi are at times much more direct in their delivery here than ever before. Rhythmically, their once unrelenting math rock guitar work is now complimented by more conventional, if just as pummelling, riffs and dabs of epic post-rock glory. In this sense, it may be that this is Rolo Tomassi’s most accessible album to date, yet without foraying too far into unfamiliar territories, as the cosmic head-mess that is “Illunis” serves to prove.

This is the sound of the Rolo Tomassi that older fans will know and love, but at the best that they’ve ever been. The arm-flailing moments of pure mosh inducing madness are still there, but it’s the more simplistic and sophisticated moments of Astraea that remind you that Rolo Tomassi are one of the most exciting and innovative bands in hardcore today.

Joe Smith

His overwhelming tie-dye collection, hideous snapbacks and gigantic vests were only part of what defined him as a standout performer. That, and his interesting hip-hop meets reggae rendition of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” made us all believe Vince could be the next big thing. Yet this single seems to be everything Vince Kidd apparently didn’t stand for. It’s been made so ‘radio friendly’, if you closed your eyes (or swivelled your chair around) it just sounds as though Justin Beiber ran too hard into Will Young and they merged...a ‘sick love’ indeed.

The one thing particularly credible about Vince was his individuality, and this seems to have taken it all away from him, proving that looking like a pop star does not instantly make you one.

Elsie Ward

Music From Another Dimension Columbia

R



ecently it has seemed that everything is a rehash of the eighties.

The Tories are in power, recession is here and Aerosmith have released a new album. And after listening to it all week, I am not sure which bothers me more. It is hard to believe that six years of work went into what has to be one of the most rock by numbers albums out this year.

daigooliva,flikr

ominous lyrics and a catchy chorus to magnificent effect.

The verse is very sparse with its staccato rhythm and so, as the chorus engulfs you with its huge wall of sound, it feels like Chvrches are giving you a huge synthy hug – a far nicer experience than you might imagine. The warmth of the instrumentation contrasts brilliantly with the dark lyrics “I’m in misery where you can seem as old as your omens”. As singer Lauren Mayberry describes her mysterious and bleak struggle against this mother we share, her sweet voice makes it impossible not to feel protective and want to reciprocate the hug. The warmth of the chorus and the kindness found in the lyrics add up to a song which is lovely to listen to as well as being musically fantastic.

Tom Kinney

ROLO TOMASSI: Back and as weird and brilliant as ever.

aerosmith

AEROSMITH: The Toxic Twins are losing their danger

slightly better effort… But to be honest, despite it being quite catchy it still doesn't hit the heights of old.

With a chorus sounding exactly like The Saturdays, Christina clearly needs a new team of songwriters. She’s still got her incredible voice though, so you can't help feeling her best option is probably to go for a more mature set of songs instead of constantly trying too hard (and sadly failing) to compete with her ‘sexy’ rivals who are at this stage about half her age.

The line “I think you already know my name” which she repeats almost forcefully, is probably her way of letting the world know that despite her divorce and her last album being a complete flop, she’s over it, she’s back and she’s ready to work her way in to the charts.

Rebecca O'Doherty

Ross Gilmore

newest release is nonetheless an utterly gorgeous mélange of muffled beats and crooned vocals. And it’s a grower: don’t say you weren’t warned.

The lyrics are barely discernible but Channy Leaneagh’s vocal tone is so mesmerising that it really doesn’t matter. Muttering her way through just over four minutes of sheer loveliness, she brings an emotional intensity and aural delicacy to the song. The beats, which oscillate between stomping and stuttering, provide a contorting backbone, twisting around the vocals and flexing in strange and unexpected places.

It doesn’t thump and it doesn’t pound, but “Lay Your Cards Out” will almost certainly writhe its way into your head, and stay there – and you won’t mind at all. Promise.

Anna Feintuck

“

The best thing that can be said about this album is that Aerosmith try to give the fans what they want"

The best thing that can be said about this album is that Aerosmith try to give the fans what they think they want.

There are songs about boozing and sex, a few of which I am guessing are supposed to be Bluesy jams.

Finally, there are a few power ballads thrown in for good measure because, who didn’t love “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”, right?’

“

It is hard to believe that six years of work went into what has to be one of the most rock by numbers albums out this year."

On the other hand, there are many awful things that can be said about this album. While everyone can appreciate just what a good song “Walk This Way” is, it is no excuse to reuse lyrics in “Legendary Child”.

Meanwhile, ripping off their own riff from another song on the same album is just a sure sign that the ‘Toxic Twins’ really did phone in this album.

Now since Armageddon in 1998, someone in the Aerosmith camp has got it into their head that they can do power ballads all of a sudden. While there are a few throughout the album, the main contender for “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” #2 is “Can’t Stop Lovin You”. Not only a ballad, it is a duet, a country duet at that.

Now what possessed a hard rock band to try to move into country music, I don’t know but, needless to say, it doesn’t work. Carrie Underwood is the lamb to the slaughter here, doing her best with some pretty awful lyrics while Joe Perry trying his hand at country guitar isn’t too pretty either.

Overall, this is not a good album, not by a long shot. Buy their greatest hits album if you need your Aerosmith fix. Just stay away from this one, save yourself from the horror.

Niall Carville

Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

JOANNA LISOWIEC

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Bourne separate, never to Bond together

Sally Pugh and Dan Scott Lintott go head-to-head in a battle to decide which is better, Bond or Bourne

reographed fight scenes glued together with nausea-inducing shaky-cam and countless scenes of Matt Damon looking troubled. They lack the humour of the Bond films, the imaginative storylines, and the fast cars and gadgets that audiences hold so dear. Furthermore, where the Bourne franchise really falls down is in its characterisation. Bond villains such as Goldfinger and Blofeld are legendary household names whose catchphrases and villainous exploits are

timeless and unforgettable. Bourne’s adversaries, on the other hand, are nothing more than a series of mumbling CIA suits who are about as memorable and terrifying as lumpy mashed potato.

As far as the leads themselves are concerned, there really is no contest.

Bond is one of film’s most entertaining and enduring characters and for half a century audiences have flocked to cinemas eager to spend time with this captivating creation. The epitome of

charisma, Bond can save the world, seduce an impossibly glamorous woman and crack several witty one-liners all before lunchtime. On the contrary, Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne is a charisma vacuum. He may be incredibly tough and have the ability to take out a man using only a ballpoint pen, but all the fight scenes in the world couldn’t disguise the fact that Bourne is an extremely tedious character who is lacking any humour, flair or charm. In short

it really is very simple: Bond is an icon, Bourne is just a man.

Bourne aficionados criticise Bond for being out-of-touch with contemporary society. They see the films as silly and fanciful in comparison to the gritty realism of Bourne. It must be conceded that when you consider the invisible cars, exploding pens and corny scripts of the Pierce Brosnan era this criticism seems fairly justified. However, this all changed with the arrival in 2006 of Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. The beautifully shot opening scene of Casino Royale, in which we see Craig brutally killing a man with his bare hands, indisputably proved that not only could Bond match the visceral realism of the Bourne action scenes, it could out-class them.

For 50 years Bond has moved and changed with the times. The films have endured countless cast changes and serious financial difficulties and have come out of the other side better and more popular than ever before. Bond is as deeply embedded in our national culture as The Beatles or fish and chips and in 50 years time it can confidently be predicted that we will still be debating who is the best Bond and excitedly anticipating the arrival of a new instalment. Bourne on the other hand – with its unmemorable characters and uninspiring plot – will almost certainly have been forgotten.

Admittedly, ��������������������������������� Bond radiates an air of suaveness and sophistication, but this once prized characteristic seems outdated in the face of the gritty and complex benchmark Jason Bourne has set. Not to be unfair to the few wellrespected and outstanding Bonds, it is unfortunately the character itself that is his downfall. Bond is a one-dimensional misogynist and a chauvinist who glamorises murder.

Although he is a product of his time, are we as modern audiences still expected to buy into this cartoonish sketch of a ‘hero’?

Conversely, Bourne has emotions as well as being able to kill people with his bare hands and a mean stare. But he feels remorse and guilt for what he has done. His ultimate struggle is for the truth, in spite of what he was made to do. Bond is a bureaucratic product

of the system, whereas Bourne tries to fight the system that is out to get him.

Every incarnation of Bond is a cog perpetuating corrupt governmental rule, as artificial as his wooden one-liners.

Robert Ludlum’s conflicted super assassin finds that delicate balance between purely visual excitement and more thoughtful underlying themes.

There is a real sense of tension in the Bourne films that develops from the

complexity of the plot and the characters. They all have at least two sides, unlike the black and white Bond tropes.

In the latest action extravaganza, Skyfall, these are especially clear. The three main characters, Bond, M and the foreign bad guy Silva, are all set up to be morally ambiguous. The audience are invited to feel ambivalent towards the heroes as well as the villains, but by the end they are all poured into the classic glorified Bond mould. The once dubious heroes are allowed to walk away without facing up to what they’ve done. Everything is forgiven and their mistakes are hidden in a shroud of selfindulgent bravery and patriotism. The cogs of the machine hide behind that all encompassing protector of crime, the state, while they wave some Union Jacks and all have a laugh over some stale banter.

But now to that all-important question: who would win in a fight? Daniel Craig is definitely the brawnier of the two, however Mr. Bond is nothing without his gadgets. All Jason needs is a rolled up magazine or a ball-point pen. When in doubt he’ll probably just throttle you with a nearby shower curtain.

Bond had his day back in 1953 and the most recent versions don’t seem to be taking him anywhere new. Bourne is a different class of action hero, unafraid to be self-aware yet still able to hunt a man down halfway round the world.

At first he loses his identity but quickly shows his supremacy over any adversary. He then delivers an ultimatum to the action world, giving it the choice to accept a better brand of hero while Bond is still running errands for Her Majesty’s secret service.

but that’s all to be expected of a heartwarming sports movie. The trouble is that this sickly-sweet approach mixes uneasily with the brutality of cagefighting.

To a fan of the sport, the fight scenes are nothing short of embarrassing. However, to do justice to the Ultimate Fighting Championship, a grapple and ground n' pound style fight might have alienated the mainstream cinema-goer.

This resolution to avoid offence pervades every aspect of the film, leav-

ing it anodyne and non-committal.

This has a particular impact on the action, which, despite a rather nice ‘point-of-view’ camera angle in the climactic fight scene, is a long way shy of the benchmark established

by Warrior (2011). They slip in a few references for the hardcore fans but most real MMA nuts will see this film as a disappointment and a missed opportunity to challenge some public misconceptions.

Fundamentally, making any sports comedy demands an approach that

corners the kiddie market. The inevitable success of films like Here Comes the Boom hinges on their appeal to the younger audience, and it is this necessity of preserving the 12A certificate that determines the treatment of MMA throughout.

As the inimitable Dana White would say, “If you don’t go for the knockout, you fucking suck.” Overzealous perhaps, but fighters that play it safe are boring to watch. The same, it appears, can be said of directors.

The Bond corner by sally pugh

production studios behind Skyfall last week when it was announced that the 23rd Bond film had broken the UK seven day box office record. Why though, you might ask, has this film performed so well? If the public want to see action and a few thrilling fight scenes then why don’t they just save some money by staying at home and throwing on a Bourne DVD or selecting one of the countless action films that clog up our TV schedules daily? The reason is simple – they want to see Bond, and Bond is so much more than an action film.

“

Bond is one of film's most entertaining and enduring characters and for half a century audiences have flocked to cinemas to see him" Enjoyable as they may be, the Bourne films are essentially a series of well-cho-

The Bourne corner by dan scott lintott hilst Bond is stuck in the 50s W swilling martinis out of a glass only appropriate for Sex and the City, Bourne takes every element of espionage in Ian Fleming’s creation, throws away the cons and makes the pros more than you could have ever dreamed. By any objective standard possible, the Bourne trilogy continually outclasses even the recent Bond films. The standard of performance from Matt Damon is multi-faceted whilst realistically and entertainingly delivered. He displays compassion, humility, and pure badassery in a way no Bond could ever achieve.

HEre comes the boom Directed by Frank Coraci  cott Voss (Kevin James) becomes a S Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter to save his school’s music section

and, naturally, rediscovers his passion for teaching and inspires his students in the process. He is assisted in this by former MMA superstar Bas Rutten, who makes a spirited but unconvinc-

filmschoolrejects.com

ou can almost visualise the satisfied Y smiles and congratulatory back slapping that must have spread through the

IN FOR THE KILL : Jason Bourne frantically soul searches while James Bond impatiently waits for his dry martini

ing attempt at playing the Dutch coach Niko. Henry Winkler portrays the superficially scripted role of a hapless music teacher, Marty Streb, whose livelihood is threatened by imminent redundancy; a blow that comes with particularly bad timing just as his 48year-old wife has fallen pregnant.

Should you find yourself able to suspend your cynicism and disbelief for a full 105 minutes, perhaps you might get carried along with the fun. The dialogue is unconvincing and borders frequently on the toe-curlingly trite,

“

Bond is a bureaucratic product of the system, whereas Bourne tries to fight the system that is out to get him"

Lewis McLellan and Lucy Grundon

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Film 27

Star Rating  Good Will Hunting Chasing Amy State of Play  Pearl Harbour Gigli

The Sapphires Directed by wayne blair  et in 1968 during the Vietnam War, S The Sapphires follows our four young and sassy heroines Cynthia, Gail, Julie and Kay, a group of Aboriginal Australians, in their rise to singing stardom as they struggle with love, racism and the horrors of war.

“

O'Dowd is extremely likable and exceptionally funny"

Living in remote Australia with their extended family, the girls’ talent goes unrecognised until they cross paths with the boozy Dave (The IT Crowd’s Chris O’Dowd), an ex-cruise ship entertainments director at the local town’s talent competition. After this encounter, as Dave tells Gail, life is never going to be the same again. The girls are shaken out of their country singing ways and given an education in 60s soul music. Before they know it, the girls are off on a whirlwind tour through Vietnam, entertaining the US troops stationed there.

O’Dowd is extremely likeable and exceptionally funny. It’s a very strong performance overall and he shows us that he really can make the transition to the big screen. The girls too are very entertaining; the chemistry between them works well, giving us some enjoyable comical scenes. Jessica Mauboy, who plays lead singer Julie, has some very impressive vocals and you are left wondering why she hasn’t been seen

before.

“

The film is packed full of great covers of some classic 60s soul music and is guaranteed to make you want to get up and dance" The script does seem to be slightly lacking somewhere, however. The rather cheesy romance between Dave and one of the Sapphires is fuelled by some questionable emotional speeches that will leave you cringing. Where the film falls down most is in its predictability.

It lacks that extra spark to make it more than just ‘an Australian Dream Girls’.

It touches on some deeper issues of the era, like the racism that Aboriginal Australians and African American soldiers in the US army faced but goes no further in developing this. The Vietnam War is also given less screen time than the shenanigans between the girls and various handsome soldiers they meet along the way.

Nevertheless, the film is packed full of great covers of some classic 60s soul music and is guaranteed to make you want to get up and dance. It’s a light-hearted, feel good film that is definitely worth a watch.

Kate Amos

All films were reviewed at cineworld

LOve Bite Directed by ANDy DE EMMONY  ixing sex with werewolves makes M for a funny horror comedy flick where the only way to save your life is

to pop your cherry. The film is set in the rundown seaside town of Rainmouth, where teenagers only have one thing on their minds: sex.

Jamie, played by Downton Abbey’s Ed Speleers, seems less than impressed with his friends' persistent bids to do ‘the nasty’, until he meets Juliana, a sexy and beautiful American played by Jessica Szohr.

But with her arrival comes strange occurrences when one of the local teens goes missing. And when a deranged stranger warns Jamie that a virgin-killing werewolf is in town, all fingers point straight to the newcomer Juliana.

As more and more teens go missing, the boys begin to panic and up the ante in their bid to lose their virginities.

Jamie is left with no choice but to kit himself out with silver bullets and a crossbow, the only thing capable of killing a werewolf.

“

The characters fail to create any emotional response from the audience and even the build-up to the climax is lacking" The light-hearted comedy combined

with gore is well suited to its target teen audience. The audience is left guessing who could be the murderous werewolf while enjoying the evolution of Jamie and Juliana’s relationship.

Director Andy De Emmony creates a typical teen comedy with comical characters. However there is no underlying meaning to the film.

The humour is riddled with sexual innuendos which are exceptionally uncreative and become very tiring towards the end of the film.

“

The humour is riddled with sexual inneundos which are exceptionally uncreative and become very tiring towards the end of the film" The characters fail to create any emotional response from the audience and even the build-up to the climax is lacking. If you want a cheap laugh and don’t mind the constant sexual innuendos then this is the film for you.

However, if you prefer a film with a good plot and interesting theme that doesn’t involve virgin-devouring werewolves then I wouldn’t recommend this film.

In conclusion, Love Bite is nothing more than a typical teenage flick. The humour will be insensitive to a more mature audience, the characters lack any real personality and the ending is very disappointing.

Jo Dunn

Argo Directed by ben affleck  you like Ben Affleck needs actIfilm.need ing school, he was terrible in that I need you more than Cuba Good-

“

Even more eyebrowraising than the the cunning escape plan is the fact that the film is based on true, somewhat embellished, events" Iran, 1979, on the brink of revolution: a mob storms the US embassy in Tehran, taking everyone hostage save for six American diplomats who escape out of a back entrance and hide out at the Canadian Ambassador’s residence.

Time is running out, however, as hostility towards the west in Iran reaches boiling point and revolutionaries are bent on ‘sniffing-out’ any Americans.

To make matters worse, they know that six are missing.

MOVIENEWS.RO

ing needed a bigger part, he’s way better than Ben Affleck ...”

Has Ben Affleck finally proved critics and Team America wrong since his woeful Pearl Harbour days? Indeed he might have. After the success of The Town, Ben Affleck takes the director’s chair again for his third feature Argo.

CHEERS: John Goodman leads the cast in a toast to the majesty of Ben Affleck's 70s-style hair and beard That’s where Tony Mendez (Affleck) comes in, with “the best bad idea we’ve got” – to fake a Canadian movie production in Tehran, sneaking the six diplomats out of the country posing as film-crew, via the airport saturated with police. Clearly fool-proof.

The fake movie “Argo” is a Star Wars-esque sci-fi enlisting the help of make-up artist John Chambers (John Goodman) and big-time producer, Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin), who set to work making the fake movie credible.

The hilarious Hollywood duo bring the comic element to the film, Siegel

declaring, “If I’m gonna make a fake movie, it’s gonna be a fake hit!”

“

The thrills are superb, nail-devouring, heartfibrillating stuff'' Even more eyebrow-raising than the cunning escape plan is the fact that the film is based on the true, somewhat embellished, events involving former CIA ‘exfiltration’ expert Tony Mendez who was called upon during the hostage

crisis after America’s sheltering of the deposed Shah sparked outrage in Iran.

Argo naturally doesn’t resist the opportunity to glamorise the United States’ role – as you would expect, America saves the day once again. Furthermore, the soppy father-son theme is also a little distracting. But if you want thrills, this film certainly brings them.

We’re talking superb, nail-devouring, heart-fibrillating stuff. It’s not hugely original, but it’s tense and entertaining.

Hannah Drennan

the good old days a writer was Iannaactor writer, a singer was a singer and was an actor. Sure, Charlie

Chaplin dabbled in some directorial roles at the end of his career and moving slightly forward in cinematic history, Robert Redford has spent some time behind the camera. But a new trend is emerging where the director of the film is also playing a key role in front of camera. This was the case in the 2008 hit Gran Torino, in which Clint Eastwood acted superbly at the same time as directing the full-throttle feature.

Ben Affleck is a recent addition to the actor/director list, Argo being his latest attempt at both roles.

Affleck’s second directorial feature, The Town, was a success and this has evidently prompted him to continue along this new path.

Argo is, if you will take a rather tenuous food analogy, like mixing a few delectably salty anchovies into a rich beef bourguignon. “It’s not going to work”, voices the hungry onlooker, angrily, “The tastes just don’t go together”. However, the finished product will always be delicious; the smooth yet refreshing undertones from the anchovy cutting through the thick beef sauce.

Similarly, one might understandably have a scathing preconception about a recipe involving the Iranian Revolution in 1980 and the lives of an aging Hollywood producer (Alan Arkin) and his endearingly chubby make-up artist friend ( John Goodman), However, like a talented chef bringing the beef stew to life with a brilliant directive flair, Affleck marries this unlikely combination and transforms the film into the absolute success that it is. Furthermore, his portrayal of Tony Mendez, the understated CIA maverick whose ingenious plan saves the day, is superb.

When one considers the talent it demands to both star in and direct a brilliant film like this, it seems impossible to succeed. When one ponders further though, and takes into account all of the exposure these actor/directors have had to the various leaders in the movie industry throughout their careers, it becomes clear that it can be a winning combination of roles.

Through all his experience, Affleck knows how to make a project stand out with smooth, slick direction and also has the creative capacity to be in front of the cameras as well. Undoubtedly this is a success story, but there are examples of actors who have tried their hand at this game and who have flopped.

Affleck, though, is not one of these and, certainly in the case of Argo, he finds the actor/director balance perfectly.

Benjamin Lebus

Tuesday November 13 2012

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orpses rotting in alleyways, lovers strangled in their beds, chefs choking on poison, skeletons found wrapped inside plaster walls.

Who on earth could avenge these poor victims of horrendous crimes inside our televisions?

Luckily for their families, and the thousands who love to watch sleuths collect all the clues, dismiss the obvious suspects and catch the killer in an ingenious twist at the end, there is a select breed of detectives that are on hand.

Agatha’s creations: Whether you prefer the shrewd and inquisitive Miss Marple (perfected

by Geraldine McEwan) or the dignified Belgian Poirot with his ridiculously intricate moustache (immortalised by David Suchet) they always deliver within Christie’s plot twists.

Jessica Fletcher: Stands alone from Christies other creations. I have never turned up to an old friend’s party and found within the hour that someone has been mysteriously murdered by one of the guests… but such is the bad luck of crimewriter Mrs. Fletcher in Murder, She Wrote.

Veronica Mars: Don’t kill me, but this blonde teenager had an incredible double life as a detective throughout high school. I’m jealous.

She makes the list.

The Scooby gang: “I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your dumb dog!” Case closed.

Adrian Monk: He’s scared of milk, mushrooms, fear, vomiting, crowds, germs, dentists, sharp objects, heights and dead things. However, this OCD detective somehow battles with his demons as a funny, quirky PI. Inspector Morse: At home he listens to Mozart, reads classics and solves crosswords, and when he’s at work he always finds an excuse to guzzle down several pints of English real ale while puzzling over the latest murder mystery. He’s living the life.

Frost: Competing with Morse as the best British male detective, DI Jack Frost may avoid his paperwork like the plague, but that’s just as well as his sleuthing skills make much better TV. Dr Temperance ‘Bones’ Brennan: My favourite female detective, for her complete social awkwardness which is brilliant combined with her ability to read the stories written on the skeletons of murder victims.

Patrick Jane: The mentalist who can read people’s thoughts and trick even the cleverest criminals into confessions, the gorgeous Simon Baker with his character’s tortured soul and obsession after serial killer Red John is my favourite.

Sherlock Holmes: Many of the above have been compared to undeniably the best detective of all time, imagined up by Edinburgh’s very own Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance is the best TV portrayal so far, but there are plenty to choose from!

Nina Seale

Edinburgh's finest makes a return

Michael Hannan investigates a show that gives an insight into Ian Rankin's creative writing process Imagine... ian Rankin BBC1 Monday, 22:35pm

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e all love it when a nationally-syndicated television programme does an episode about something local. If only for that reason, most Edinburghians would have got a kick out of watching Tuesday’s episode of Imagine…, since it featured none other than Ian Rankin, crime writer extraordinaire and one of Edinburgh’s most well-known residents.

The programme follows Rankin’s professional life over a seven month period between December 2011 and June 2012 as he struggles with the challenges of writing Standing in Another Man’s Grave, which was released earlier this month. It’s the eighteenth book to feature the iconic detective Inspector Rebus, whom Rankin retired five years ago in 2007s Exit Music, supposedly never to return.

Well, he’s returned, and he’s as alive and kicking as Sherlock Holmes was in The Adventure of the Empty House, the short story which resurrected Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s even more iconic

Some girls BBC Three Tuesday, 10pm

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ritish teen TV has been in a bit of trouble recently. T4 is being axed, Misfits keeps haemorrhaging cast members, The Inbetweeners bowed out two years ago now and Skins jumped the shark long before that.

detective after Moriarty pushed him off a cliff in 1891’s The Final Problem.

The episode highlights the comparisons between Doyle and Rankin, devoting many segments to Rankin’s concern about what the public’s reaction will be and what it means about his own creativity, bringing a very human dimension to a reclusive literary figure whose meteoric success is talked about in reverent tones.

For me, it’s this success which in part made the programme worth watching. While I haven’t actually read any of his novels, it’s impossible to live in Edinburgh and maintain an interest in reading without at least hearing Rankin’s name being bandied about like literary currency.

Seeing this semi-mythical figure procrastinate as heavily as any student is both jarring and deeply satisfying at the same time. Being a creative writing student myself, it is also bizarrely delightful to watch Rankin tearing his hair out because his prose just wasn’t coming together even after he finally forced himself to stop reading the newspaper as ‘research’ and promise himself that ‘tomorrow would be the day’.

Rankin himself summed it up best after submitting his manuscript to his

Of the main characters, the only one with the least bit of depth is Viva, our narrator, with the other three girls getting little more than one word descriptions of a personality: “angry”, “dumb”, “just kind of there, really”.

A show like this lives and dies on the strength of its ensemble and this one just doesn’t work.

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Murdo mcleon/guardian

TV detectives

IAN RANKIN: Edinburgh's most iconic author? editor and receiving a bollockload of harsh criticism in return. “It’s frustrating to me that after all these years I still don’t seem to know what I’m doing.”

The show does waste time filming Rankin’s research trip in the Highlands as he wanders along beaches and country roads in his quest to “get the details right.” The interview sections

are also rather dry, mainly because host Alan Yentob’s speaking voice is slow, hoarse and generally lacking any kind of personality. Having said that, if you’re interested in literature, then the episode provides a fascinating insight into the work of one of the UK’s most critically and commercially successful living writers.

Heston's fantastical food

that as a result of the hustle and bustle of working life, adults simply do not have the time for the dressing gowned toast and marmalade breakfast that has characterised British mornings for centuries.

To try and reverse this trend Heston decides to “give the British public a breakfast they’ll never forget”. Following this rather dramatic line there are a series of fun montages depicting the chef in his science lab kitchen preparing sausages disguised as tomatoes, brioche mushrooms and nutella black pudding.

He even tries to conceive a giant boiled egg, through the use of nitrogen, nitro-freezing and one over-stretched condom. Needless to say the condom bursts and a lumpy, innuendo filled mixture slurps unsuccessfully out of the prophylactic one hour later.

The finale of the show occurs on the Breakfast Express; forty commuters have been given a golden ticket to take this train, on which they will be forced to gobble up all of Heston’s culinary wonders. Arguably this is the worst part, with commuters chirping in with their reactions to the culinary sensations they’ve just tasted. One particularly annoying lady claims, superiorly, to have “smelt the maple in the bacon”. No you didn’t.

Practical this show is not. Although Heston does, during some of his less peculiar recipes, try to guide the everyday viewer through the process, it really should not be repeated at home. The show is, however, entertaining, and Heston’s plan to bring the vanilla ice cream, 99 flake and cone back to life next week will, no doubt, be enjoyable.

Benjamin Lebus

Channel 4 Thursday, 9pm

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eston’s Fantastical Food, Blumenthal’s new wacky-cooking series, is based upon the basic idea that during his childhood food tasted better.

It sounded better, it looked better and was altogether much more exciting.

Despite this slightly depressing realisation, the scientific chef believes he has cooked up the perfect answer.

Teen TV is an odd beast. Get it right and you can end up being the biggest thing on Worst of all, it's just television. Get it wrong not funny. A couple of and you're liable to Heston does, jokes land over the half sink without a trace. during some of his less an hour, but they are Get it really wrong and peculiar recipes, try few and far between." you'll be eviscerated." to guide the everyday In fairness, teen TV is an odd beast.

The supporting cast get little to do viewer through the Get it right and you can end up being either. Most notable is Colin Salmon process, it really should the biggest thing on television. Get it who appears as Viva’s dad, and while wrong and you’re liable to sink without he’s proven he can do good comedy not be repeated"

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a trace. Get it really wrong and you’ll be eviscerated. Though I doubt we’re going to see the creators of Some Girls strung up outside Television Centre, the show is a real misfire.

Just looking at the premise – a comedy following the lives of four teenage school friends – it’s easy to dismiss it as The Inbetweeners with boobs. In reality though, Some Girls is really more akin to Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging or Bend it Like Beckham with the age rating bumped up. Unfortunately, it lacks both The Inbetweeners’ wit and the two films’ charm.

work in the past, his most memorable moment here is some of the worst ‘playing a video game’ acting I’ve seen in a while, which is really saying something.

Worst of all, it’s just not funny. A couple of jokes land over the half hour, but they’re few and far between. And so you’re left with a character-based comedy without decent jokes or likeable characters. There may be a gap in the market for the next big teen TV show, but I’d be very surprised if Some Girls turns out to be it.

Heather Davidson

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If one had the time to search for the spark that ignited this show to life, they would find that Heston’s thought process went something a little bit like this; “I have grown bigger, so in order for the same foods to entice me as much as they did when I was younger I must, naturally, make them bigger”. An interesting premise and one that entirely characterizes this chef ’s style of cooking.

The first episode addresses the importance of breakfast, and how it should be a meal one should indulge in. Blumenthal expresses his concern

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Star Rating

 Ian Rankin Muriel SparkRobert Louis Stevenson Irvine Welsh Your flatmate, who has been working on a novel based on his life for three years

here’s an old proverb that goes “good fences make good neighbours”. It’s a sharp maxim, but I’ve stumbled across something that’s so much more profound… and I found it on Channel Five. If you want to hear it, tune in on weekdays at 1:45pm and you’ll be serenaded by the immortal verse of the Neighbours theme tune, the greatest song ever recorded (in the history of Australian daytime soap).

Who would dare argue against “Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours/ With a little understanding /You can find the perfect blend/ That’s when good neighbours become good friends” being anything other than a work of pure poetic genius?

And that’s just the start, the twenty or so minutes of melodramatic soap that follows ain’t half bad either.

Neighbours has always had a strong fan base amongst the student community, thanks to a rather perfect scheduling arrangement that ensures the early afternoon episode begins just in time for most students’ breakfasts. Yet tragically, it would appear that the diehard Neighbours student community is diminishing.

These days, the show gets nowhere near the audience figures it achieved in its heyday. The show gets around a solid million most episodes, but back in the late eighties, when it was somewhat of a cultural phenomenon in this country, it attracted up to 16 million viewers, each and every one desperate to follow the daily trials and tribulations on Ramsay Street.

Why the drop off, you ask? Well, there’s a simple two word answer.

Harold Bishop. Since he departed the Melbourne cul-de-sac permanently back in 2009, there’s been a jelly-belly shaped pothole in the heart of Erinsborough that’s never been filled.

Neighbours is clinging onto its former glory nowadays and I increasingly find myself thinking wistfully of the dazzling talent that’s come out of Erinsborough down the years. Before Australia started flogging all its natural resources to China a couple of years ago, the cast of Neighbours were Australia’s premier export.

Kylie Minogue, ever heard of her? Neighbours made her the star she is today. Alongside her, Natalie Imbruglia, Alan Dale, Guy Pearce and, erm, Jason Donovan are all entertainment legends who also began their careers on the mean streets of Ramsey, before being seduced by the bright lights of fame and fortune, or in Donovan’s case, Iceland adverts with Kerry Katona.

As much as it pains me to write, Neighbours just isn’t the same anymore, and my patience with the show is starting to wane.

I dread to think about its future when Karl and Susan Kennedy, the show’s very own Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, eventually leave and if cult hero Jared ‘Toadfish’ Rebechhi goes too, that will be a step too far; that’ll be me gone, and I’ll start watching Doctors, or Bargain Hunt or, gulp, even the lunchtime news.

Joe Patten

The thick of it? No, prime minister Jacqueline Thompson delves into Channel 4's new drama about the murky world of politics secret state Channel 4 Wednesday, 10pm

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hannel 4’s new conspiracy thriller, Secret State, certainly feels timely given the string of establishment cover-ups recently brought to light, from the phone-tapping scandal and Hillsborough disaster, to the malingering BBC/Jimmy Savile debacle.

In this four-part drama, Gabriel Byrne stars as deputy prime minister Tom Dawkins, a moral gemstone in a cess-pit of corruption. When an explosion at a Teesside refinery owned by US petrochemical company Petrofex kills 19 locals, including small children, Dawkins makes it his business to uncover the ugly truth behind the disaster.

Later, when a plane containing the prime minister goes missing as it returns from a Petrofex conference in Texas, it seems that establishment ties to the company might lie behind the disturbing and increasingly mysterious events.

It’s a clever and compelling plot, (very) loosely based on Chris Mullin’s novel A Very British Coup, but it’s

Hamish and Andy's Euro gap year ITV 4 Wednesday, 10pm

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nless I’m in the mood to watch a re-run of Cadfael or a game of an obscure American sport, ITV4 is rarely the first port of call for entertainment.

That was, however, until the Aussies moved in this week.

Hamish and Andy are pret-ty big in the land down under, ruling the radio airwaves with their cheeky charm. But this most recent show sees them set up temporarily in our very own Blighty.

They might be slightly too old to take a gap year around Europe, but that doesn’t matter. There is fun to be a had and they are the perfect men for the job.

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It's no Michael Palin documentary and it might not be quite as original as An Idiot Abroad, but the boys have done good with this knock-about hour" Setting up in their very own pub, The Lord Stanley, as well as donning tracksedos (an ingenious outfit which combines the comfort of tracksuits and the smartness of a tuxedo), they embark on an hour of weird antics all around the continent.

There is nothing high brow about the show, but it’s hard to care when you’re watching a grown man turn grey at the thought of jumping off a 25 me-

bogged down by an often clunky script and dodgy characterisation. Dawkins seems too transparent, ethical and unambitious to be in the high-powered position he’s in. Charles Dance does his usual Charles Dance thing as chief whip (stern, powerful, reptilian), and then there’s the obligatory ball-busting female politician, Ros Yelland, who barges into men’s toilets and barks lines like “Fuck the polls!”

Gina McKee’s plucky journo has far too much ill-explained access to classified goings-on, and characters keep insisting on conducting secret conversations in public parks. There are too many politicians looking thoughtfully into the middle distance, and viewers could be forgiven for wanting Malcolm Tucker to stride in and give them all a good talking to.

The show’s pace also feels slightly off-kilter; too much happens too quickly, accompanied by a near constant ominous soundtrack. Unfavourable comparisons to dramas like Homeland seem inevitable, with the US show allowing its plot to unfold in a far more organic and satisfying manner. Viewers may also feel irritated by the plot sign-posts scattered throughout Secret State, which take away the enjoyment of working things out independently.

tre bridge. They are in Mostar, Bosnia and as a coming of age tradition, they have to face their own mortality (well not really, but judging from Hamish’s clammy face, you might think so).

After that is a challenge to beat the world greatest navigators, black cab drivers, at their own game. Armed with a flashy Porche and a Sat Nav they set off, brimming with puppyish enthusiasm only to find that London is a nightmare and no amount of bacon butties can help them.

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[it] captures the giddy excitement of being away from home perfectly " Then it’s a quick flight to Italy for the annual translation racing tournament - a high pressured game of intellect and courage. With an ear piece in place and a few lunges completed, the contestant has to repeat an Italian phrase to a stranger in the hope of them understanding.

After “I’ve gone to the toilet in my pants” and “Can I see your underwear?” go down quite badly it’s time to get back to the UK for a pint and try and make rabbits jump over fences.

No one said TV has to make sense.

Hamish and Andy’s affection for one another (which goes way beyond the boundaries of bromance) is more than enough to carry the ridiculousness through.

It’s no Michael Palin documentary and it might not be quite as original as An Idiot Abroad, but the boys have done good with this knock-about hour which captures the giddy excitement of being away from home perfectly.

Hannah Clapham-Clark

laurie sparham

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lost & found

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SECRET STATE: Could this be our attempt at Homeland?

There are some genuinely thrilling moments though, such as when Dawkins picks up a knitted glove still containing a child’s blown-off fingers, or when he receives a call from a freaked-out pathologist concerned with the toxicity levels found in the dead bodies. Byrne delivers a fine, dignified performance as a man of quiet but steadfast integrity, though even his unquestionable talent can’t distract

Dara o Briain's Science Club BBC 2 Tuesday, 9pm

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t’s often said that comedians are some of the most intelligent people that you are likely to meet. So it makes sense to have theoretical physics and mathematics graduate and comic Dara Ó Briain fronting this latest attempt to make science interesting. Ó Briain begins by announcing the theme for this week’s show (reproduction and inheritance, although they attempt to win interest by presenting it as sex) before striding into his studio audience in a set-up that looks strangely like Top Gear. Actually in a way it appears to be trying to do for science what Top Gear did for cars: make it interesting to those who have no existing interest in the subject.

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Throughout it there's a niggling suspicion that one is being made to learn stuff without realising."

The Beeb has clearly thrown everything that they’ve got at the show; in addition to Ó Briain, comedian Ed Byrne gets a look in and Professor Steve Jones guest presents, alongside a host of scientists, roving reports, fancy animations and those shots where the presenter is suddenly walking through a shopping centre for no apparent reason.

The more traditional parts of an in-

from the smell of ham wafting from a few of his colleagues.

However, this is only one of four parts, and the information-dump of part one is likely to ease off as the drama progresses. Flaws aside, the story itself is undeniably intriguing, and with Byrne carrying most of the show on his shoulders, Secret State may yet shape up to be a decidedly enjoyable yarn.

vestigative science programme are all there too – electrodes on bodies, mice getting injected with, er, stuff, as well as the a lot of comedic moments, such as Ó Briain doing a shot of 88% Polish vodka and a competition over who has got the most neanderthal genes.

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Ó Briain is an engaging and intelligent presenter."

In trying to get the balance between all of these elements right it can feel disjointed, like one moment when they start looking at the development of the bicycle. Throughout it there’s a niggling suspicion that one is being made to learn stuff without realising it.

However, Ó Briain is an engaging and intelligent presenter with lots of fascinating and attention grabbing material to work with, as well as the more bizarre science trivia that will make good controversial pub conversation (like the scientist who decided, based on empirical research, that the ugliest women in Britain were from Aberdeen).

It doesn’t shy away from controversial or probing subjects either. The government funded Human Genome Project (an attempt to map our genomes) is investigated, contrasting the overblown political rhetoric about its inevitable benefits with the actual results. So the programme becomes not just about science in the abstract but about the relationship between science and the public.

The show makes a very valiant attempt to improve this relationship and bring the two groups closer together with great comedic results.

Lia Sanders

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Injury Time

takes A WRY look at the world of sport

Fines are fine in football

It was high time we had cause to stop saying, “he doesn’t deserve this week’s wages” in the world of football. The FA’s new legislation entitling managers to impose performance related fines on their players is almost a year old, but how has it fared in its first season? Well that depends on who you ask. The new rule had its first career ending case this week as football said goodbye to a man who throughout his career seemed to be on the right side of competency, yet on the wrong side of luck; as Richard Dunne retired from the game with immediate effect, declaring the financial hit following his tenth and eleventh own goals of the season “too much to bear”.

Aston Villa are also lamenting last summer’s transfer policy. Their faltering displays this season suggest that to assist in buying a whole new team they certainly could have done with a cash windfall at 5 p.m. every Saturday afternoon from the bank of Mr Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey, after another painfully substandard display. Rumour has it Heskey actually saw the fining system coming when he made tracks for the other side of the world. Meanwhile, John Terry continues his Stamford Bridge tyranny as he has successfully secured the right to veto any implemented fine, yet personally praises the intent of the system to “get 110 per cent out of the lads”.

Seaweed-haired Spaniard Fernando Torres is the Blues’s only player to have received a fine this season, a retrospective one against his two per cent chance conversion rate. Also of note are fleet footed trickster Eden Hazard’s performances thus far, having cost Premier League defenders a combined £13,750,000 in fines through various penalties, sending offs and general displays that would see one transfer-listed by Kettering Town. One piece of statistical analysis regarding these fines that is of particular interest, is the staggering proportion of them that are routinely filed at around midnight on a Saturday. One can only assume that it is the managers giving immediate credence to the hyperbolic yet vacuous, cliché-laden scrutiny of the four sages on the Match of the Day sofas, directly after they had gone to town on the player’s “torrid time” and the player who “can’t buy a goal at the moment”. All in all, the new system has been brilliant entertainment for the fans, but it’s fair to say that many players won’t be feeling too fine about it.

Benjamin Murray

Murray leads new era in world tennis

Joel Akhurst discusses the Murray-Djokovic rivalry that could dominate men's tennis in 2013 With the 2012 tennis season drawing to a close on Monday at the ATP World Tour Finals, men’s tennis is arguably as strong as it has ever been, having taken six out of the last eight Laureus Sportsman of the Year awards.

Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic have all picked up the illustrious gong – the other two going to some bloke called Usain Bolt.

The depth and strength in the game at the moment is there to see, and despite the fact that Nadal has been sidelined with a knee injury since his loss to Lukas Rosol at Wimbledon this year, 2012 has seen four different winners of the Grand Slams, a feat that has not been achieved since 2003.

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Murray proved to his doubters that he belongs in the 'big four' with his US Open win, whilst Djokovic had yet another outstanding year."

So what marks out this generation from previous years? Undoubtedly, tennis has been transformed in the past ten years. No longer is it enough to turn up with a big serve and a good forehand to blast your way through your opponent.

Nowadays you need to be unbelievably fit and have an athletic ability to suit.

Top players are not averse to playing

back to back five set matches in Grand Slams, regularly receiving astonished praise from other sportspeople in awe of the endurance that they consistently demonstrate.

At 6’1” and 85 kilos, Nadal could be a cruiserweight boxer, and these guys really do trade blows like boxers. Andy Murray equally has the figures to fit into this class. It’s a far cry from the image of a scrawny red headband-wearing John McEnroe on Centre Court at Wimbledon. The players nowadays are physical specimens and true athletes. However, over the past 12 months there have been two players who have seriously amped up their rivalry: Djokovic and Murray. Both players have had impressive seasons. Murray proved to his doubters that he belongs in the ‘big four’ with his US Open win in September, whilst Djokovic has had yet another outstanding year.

Their rivalry reignited in January this year with a thrilling five set victory for Djokovic over Murray in the Australian Open semi-final, and the pair have continued to trade blows in the same vein throughout the year. Murray dumped Djokovic out of the Olympics with a 7-5 7-5 victory on his way to becoming Olympic champion, and of course there was the four hour 54 minute US Open final win for the Scot.

Then there was the recent scintillating Shanghai Masters Final, in which Djokovic saved five match points to win 5-7 7-6 (13-11) 6-3 and another topsyturvy encounter in the group stages of the ATP World Tour Finals, with Djokovic coming out as the victor, again in three sets. Indeed, since Murray’s

FLICKR: globalite

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GREAT SCOT: Andy Murray is at the forefront of world tennis US Open triumph this has become the match that people want to see – both men are playing spectacular tennis and neither looks like they’re about to let up. With Nadal’s knees creaking and Federer not getting any younger, the rivalry has plenty of room to flourish.

The days of Federer and Nadal going toe to toe in Grand Slam finals seem to be becoming more of a distant memory – it’s not 2008 anymore.

Could ‘Murray-Djokovic’ be the next ‘Federer-Nadal’? In terms of a clash of tennis style and philosophy, certainly not. However, in terms of dominating men’s tennis in the future, it is certainly a possibility. Both men know what it takes to win a Grand Slam, both men are in the peak of their careers at 25

years old (Murray is one week older than Djokovic)and both have grown up alongside each other as people and as tennis players.

There is no doubt that Murray is the one chasing in terms of accomplishments between the two, but this is something that the Scot will relish. This is exemplified every time the pair meet, the margins are too fine to reasonably predict a winner.

We should, however, be wary of looking too far into the future, anything can happen in this sport.

At the time of writing, the final of the ATP World Tour Finals has yet to be played, but one thing is for sure going into 2013 – nobody has had the last laugh yet.

Springboks seek Murrayfield revenge

Amanda Scribante previews Saturday's big rugby clash between Scotland and South Africa

The last time that Scotland met South Africa was when the home nation side secured an impressive 21-17 win back in 2010. Will they be able to bring another upset against the Springboks this weekend?

The previous clash during the Grand Slam Tour on November 20, 2010 saw the now retired Daniel Parks knocking over six penalties and a drop goal to secure a win for the Scottish side.

Morne Steyn, the South African fly half, landed four penalties but the cold and wet weather proved to be too much in the end for the Springboks.

After a bit of a weak start home side Scotland managed to adapt to the cold and wet conditions much quicker.

However, as the weather got better the South Africans staged a comeback and were 12-6 ahead at half time. Despite this, Parks sealed the deal with his four penalties and a drop goal, in spite of a last minute try from Willem Alberts and a missed penalty from Patrick Lambie. In the process, Scotland successfully dashed South Africa’s hopes of winning a record fifth Grand Slam title over the home nation.

These two great sporting nations having been playing rugby against each other for around 106 years. They met for the first time in 1906 at Hampden Park

Last weekend, the Springboks also managed to claw their way back to a 16-12 win over Ireland, who initially had looked in cruise control, racing to a 12-3 lead at half time. However, after the break the Springboks seemed to click into gear and scored 13 points to secure the win.

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DAILY MAIL

TRY: South Africa force their way through the Irish defence in Glasgow, in the days where a try was still only worth three points. The game, which Scotland won 6-0, formed part of South Africa’s first official international rugby tour, during which the Springbok nickname was coined. To date, the two teams have met 21 times with South Africa winning 16 games as opposed to Scotland’s five.

After winning the Rugby World

cup for a second time in 2007, the Springboks suffered a disappointing season last year, losing to Australia in the quarter-finals of the 2011 Rugby World Cup. This year has been mixed so far, winning four matches in total against Australia, Argentina and England (twice), losing three games against New Zealand (twice) and Australia and drawing against Argentina.

Scotland's season has been dismal, having secured only one win against Fiji in the last eight matches they have played."

Meanwhile, Scotland’s season has been dismal, having secured only one win against Fiji in the last eight matches they have played.What will happen this time round remains to be seen.

Rain appears unlikley for this Saturday, when the two teams will go head to head at Murrayfield.

Can the Scots repeat the victory of 2010, or will the Springboks's World Cup temperament prove to be all too much for their northern hemisphere opponents?

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Tuesday November 13 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 31

A spirited Edinburgh side were unfortunate to come away with a loss, reports Sally Abernethy Women's Lacrosse BUCS Scottish 1A Wednesday 7th November

A spirited Edinburgh team put up a strong fight against rivals Newcastle last Wednesday, staging multiple comebacks but still finishing up on the wrong end of a 9-6 scoreline. Despite the defeat, captain Sarah Whittick was pleased with the fighting spirit displayed by her team throughout. “We were hungry for the game, so it’s a bit disheartening that the match didn’t end in our favour, especially as we usually beat Newcastle,” she said at the end of the match. “But we’ll certainly be out for the win next time.”

A lively start from both teams suggested a high scoring game in prospect.

Edinburgh were the first team to capitalise, taking the lead early in the first half when a quick steal from Whittick was taken up on the wing by Pippa

lauren vas

Edinburgh 1st 6-10 Newcastle 1st

BOUNCEBACKABILITY: Edinburgh refused to give up throughout Cullingworth, whose precise pass into the centre was finished well by Tara Human.

Newcastle, however, were quick to reply, winning possession and breaking off Edinburgh to bring the game back level and then take the lead. As Edin-

burgh tightened up their defence, the home side were able to exploit a mistake from Newcastle in the goalmouth, with Human again on hand to bring the scores level.

Despite a fine goal from Charlie Bergquist, Newcastle began to pick

away at Edinburgh’s defence and exploit the tiring home side, racing into a 6-3 lead at half time.

However, Edinburgh came back with a vengeance in the second half, and a great goal from Hetty Hill brought the home side back into the game. But Newcastle were yet again quick to respond, forcing Edinburgh into their own half and scoring another four goals.

Again Edinburgh dug their heels in and took control back, with another goal from Bergquist bringing the score to 9-5. With just four minutes left to go, Edinburgh, still hungry for the ball, pulled off a ‘quick stick’ to get the last goal of the match.

Despite the loss, Club President Hannah Preston noted a marked improvement from the previous game against Loughborough, praising “a much better team effort” by the Edinburgh girls. The team will now try to build on this result and look forward to the return game in January.

Roller hockey team secures early win Mike Staer and Joe Anderson watch Edinburgh win their first tournament of the season utes, but Juraj Koudelka’s club record five goals, three of which were scored in under a minute, sealed a dramatic 6-4 victory.

“

Juraj Koudelka's club record five goals, three of which were scored in under a minute, sealed a dramatic 6-4 victory"

EU ROLLER HOCKEY CLUB

Edinburgh University’s Roller Hockey team won the first of three Scottish University Roller Hockey League tournaments this year, scoring in the last second to secure a 32 win in the final.

The team opened their tournament with a hard fought 6-4 win over St Andrews University in the opening group stage. This victory was followed by a close game against the Ramparts, which saw a Stephen Dowell goal cancelled out by Allan Riddell, only for Vincent Henault to grab the game winner with just over a minute remaining.

In their next game against the Glasgow Eagles, Edinburgh found themselves down 1-0 down after 2 min-

WIN: Edinburgh's champions

Their final group game was against Glasgow University, who, having lost their first three group games, swapped

Chris Morrison outfield for Sean Baird to play goalie. The change was in vain,

however, with Edinburgh finishing with a comfortable 5-2 victory.

In the final, Edinburgh quickly found themselves a goal down against St Andrews University. Despite pulling level through Kyle Francis, they soon went behind again to a second Simon Ware goal. After 11 minutes, Koudelka got his seventh goal of the tournament to tie the game 2-2. With a shoot-out looming, Joe Anderson passed the puck straight down the middle to Kyle Francis, who stuck it past the St Andrews keeper in the last second of the match.

Edinburgh hope to retain their title in the upcoming home tournament on 1st December at the Jack Kane Centre in Niddrie.

BUCS Standings 8th Manchester 9th Edinburgh 10th Newcastle

1111 987 977.5

Edinburgh Points Breakdown 1st Swimming 150 2nd Hockey 137 3rd Fencing 92 4th Lacrosse 84 5th Basketball 79 6th Rugby Union 77

lauren vas

Improving side show their tenacity

Wednesday 7th November Results Edinburgh 1st 79-38 Aberdeen 1st (Men’s Basketball) Edinburgh 2nd 72-63 St Andrews 1st (Women’s Basketball) St Andrews 2nd 0-8 Edinburgh 3rd (Men’s Hockey) Edinburgh 2nd 3-3 Glasgow 1st (Men’s Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 4-0 Edinburgh 2nd (Women’s Hockey) Edinburgh 3rd 8-0 St Andrews 2nd (Women’s Hockey) Robert Gordon 5-0 Edinburgh 2nd (Men’s Football) Edinburgh 1st 7-3 Dundee 1st (Men’s Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 4-3 Stirling 2nd (Men’s Football) Dundee 1st 1-3 Edinburgh 3rd (Men’s Football) Edinburgh 1st 6-10 Newcastle 1st (Women’s Lacrosse) Edinburgh 1st 12-0 St Andrews 1st (Women’s Tennis) Edinburgh 1st 11-1 Stirling 1st (Men’s Lacrosse) Einburgh 3rd 80-0 Abertay Dundee 2nd (Men’s Rugby)

Tennis girls continue dominant winning streak

Camilla Tait watches the Edinburgh women’s tennis team complete a whitewash against St Andrews this past week

Women's Tennis BUCS Scottish 1A Wednesday 7th November

A resounding victory for Edinburgh’s female tennis team this week brought in the full 12 points against a late arriving St. Andrews, who were simply out-classed by the university’s top-of-the-table team.

After yet another victory against Glasgow last week, Edinburgh’s captain Emilia Murray said she was “expecting a win” from her so far undefeated team.

Conditions got the better of Murray’s serve in the first set of her game against Krista Plociennik, resulting in a few more double faults than she would usually expect. Playing in her first match of the season, Murray’s lack of practice was evident and a break of serve led to a 4-6 loss in the first set.

LUCY ANTROBUS

Edinburgh 1st 12-0 St. Andrews 1st

ACE: Edinburgh served well

But as the game wore on Murray began to read her opponent well, regularly targeting Plociennik’s flat back-hand.

The captain capitalized on some poor serving and struck some outstanding cross-court winners of her own on her route to taking the second set 6-3.

Due to the late arrival of the St. Andrew’s team, the match went to a tie-break, which a confident Murray took 10-6.

Happy with her performance, Murray said “I think I read my opponent well and was able to use that to attack her weaknesses, which got me the win in the end.”

Elsewhere, Adrienne Bartlett's powerful forehand proved too strong for St. Andrew’s Catherine Phelps, who continuously failed to deal with the pace of Bartlett's returns.

Next was Aisha Kerr, who battled through the conditions to secure a difficult 7-5 win in the first set against St.

Andrews’ Arden Reynolds. The second set was a different story, however, as Kerr found her rhythm and adjusted to the harsh conditions on her way to securing an easy 6-2 victory.

“

I think I read my opponent well and was able to use that to attack her weaknesses, which got me the win in the end."

Edinburgh captain Emilia Murray

Kerr had not expected the game to be affected to such a degree by the wind and rain, but was ultimately happy with the win: “Conditions made it difficult to get into a rhythm and as a result the match was tougher than I thought it

would be, but I’m proud of my win.”

Edinburgh looked set for a walkover on Court 1, where Edinburgh’s top seed Maria Barfoed raced to a 6-0 first set win against St. Andrews’ Emily Atkin. Managing to hit several aces and produce lots of speed and spin on the ball, Barfoed looked set to dominate the match against an opponent who looked short on answers.

But Atkin seemed to find her rhythm in the second set, and suddenly found it easier to create challenges for Barfoed with a slower ball, resulting in a hard-fought battle that eventually saw Barfoed come out on top.“By focusing on keeping my rallies going and continuing my good serving I won the second set 6-4 which was very satisfying,” Barfoed said.

Edinburgh will be hoping to secure another victory in their next match against the St. Andrews 2nd team, who they also previously beat 12-0.

Sport

Tuesday November 13 2012

studentnewspaper.org

Business as usual

More wins for Edinburgh in our round-up of university sport

31

Robertson: “This is serious”

HEARTS IN MOUTH TIME: How many more matches will Hearts be permitted to play at Tynecastle?

Hearts on the line

Hearts fan David Aitchinson appeals to students to help the club LAST WEDNESDAY, the Heart of Midlothian board announced that the club could play its final game next Sunday against St Mirren at Tynecastle.

Hearts have been given a winding up order by Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, unless it can pay an outstanding tax bill of around £450,000. This means that liquidation of Edinburgh’s oldest and most decorated football club is a very real and serious threat.

The situation is grave. The club has overspent, and the recent refusal by owner Vladimir Romanov to continue to bankroll Hearts has left the club in a perilous position. But this is not the time to play the blame game. Right now, every person connected to the club must play their part in ensuring that it does not close its doors. Heads can roll once the club has survived.

The task ahead is very difficult, but it is crucial that this great football club is kept alive. 138 years of proud history, on the park and off it, is at stake. It is clear that times are tough for everyone.

But any help possible, from buying merchandise and match day tickets, investing in shares, to even simply making a donation to the club, would help the cause and be appreciated by so many people.

It must be made clear that administration is not the threat that is being faced by Hearts. It is liquidation. The company will be wound up and the club will cease to exist. Local businesses in Gorgie rely on the income that is provided by the club and its supporters.

Without this guaranteed income many of these places, from pubs to grocers,

will be forced to close.

That’s not to mention the economic effect that will be felt by the people who work in the club shop, as stewards, or in catering for the club, in addition to the players and coaching staff. The whole economy and culture of Edinburgh will suffer.

“

Right now, every person connected to the club must play their part in ensuring that it does not close its doors" Heart of Midlothian FC is more than just eleven players on a football pitch. The joy of a hundred thousand people on the streets of Edinburgh celebrating the club’s Scottish Cup victory in May is clear proof of this.

2012 has brought some of the most memorable moments in the history of the club. Defeating Hibernian 5-1 in the Scottish Cup Final is a result that shall never be beaten. Being at Anfield to see Hearts (briefly) leading Liverpool is a memory that will live with me for the rest of my life.

These famous results must not be allowed to become the final chapter of the Hearts story. So much more can be achieved. If the present threat can be staved off then Hearts can eventually gain a sounder financial footing. There can be many more glorious victories,

and heartbreaking defeats.

This is a call to arms. Hearts need the students of Edinburgh University to help them to survive. Honour those people that have been connected to the club throughout history, from those players who lost their lives fighting for McCrae’s Battalion during the First World War, to my relatives who made sure that I supported the right team.

With the help of each and every person who reads this, we can Save Our Hearts.

Gorgie memories

From my first ever Hearts match aged five on a cold winter's day dressed from head to toe in full kit, to seeing the cup paraded down Princes Street this summer, Hearts have always provided me with some cherished memories. I followed the team down to White Hart Lane last year and to Anfield this year, and to Hampden last season for the 5-1 win against Hibs in the Cup Final. Heart of Midlothian is weaved into the fabric of Gorgie and Edinburgh, and for the history and memories to disappear would be truly heartbreaking.

Adam Swayne, 2nd year

FOR HEARTS legend John Robertson, the thought of an Edinburgh without Hearts FC is too much to bear. But the statement released by the club last week, which announced that it required “emergency backing” in order to stay in existence, has threatened to make this nightmare a reality.

“It’s serious. The club’s been hit with a winding-up order, which we’ve got very little time to pay,” Robertson told The Student. “If this is not paid, the match against St Mirren next Saturday could well be the club’s last.”

In recent months the club has consistently struggled to pay staff and player wages, resulting in a transfer embargo imposed by the SPL. On Wednesday, the club was told it would need to pay an outstanding tax bill of almost £450,000, on top on an existing bill, in order to avoid liquidation.

Since the announcement, Robertson, Hearts’ all time leading goalscorer, has thrown himself into his role as an ambassador for the club’s fundraising schemes.

A short term goal is to make sure Tynecastle is full for the club’s home games. “It would be absolutely fantastic if we could get more students coming down to enjoy the football, especially during our club’s hour of need,” Robertson said. “If we don’t raise this money quickly, the club faces a very real possibility of ceasing to exist.”

However, even if the club can gather the resources required to survive beyond next week, it still faces a major battle for survival. “The big one is the share issue,” Robertson explains. “We’d still have only six weeks to raise the best part of another £1.8 million to keep the club going until the end of the season.”

Hearts’ parent company Ubig, which is controlled

by Vladimir Romanov, has put ten per cent of its shareholding

up for sale to the club’s supporters. It gives fans a chance to own part of the club whilst at the same time providing it with much needed revenue. Robertson is hopeful that the situation can still be turned around if the club can survive until the summer, when 14 player contracts are set to expire. “The good thing is that if we manage to raise this money, by the end of the season the club should be self-sustainable and we’ll be in a far healthier position financially going forward.”

Hearts’ survival means more for Robertson than most, who played over 500 games for the club over 18 seasons, scoring over 200 goals and briefly managing the side in the 2004/5 season.

“For me, a packed Tynecastle underneath the lights for the big games – European games, cup ties, derbies – is just a fabulous experience and it’s a terrible shame that if the club does not manage to get out of this situation, the stadium could be torn down.”

Robertson’s 27 strikes against Hearts’ local rivals Hibernian FC earned him the nickname ‘Hammer of Hibs’, but the former striker is keen to emphasise how important it is that everyone in Edinburgh does their bit to save the Tynecastle team, whatever their normal allegiance.

“The reality is that one of the greatest institutions Edinburgh has ever had and one of the city’s biggest sporting monuments is in serious trouble.

“We need everyone to rally round – Hearts supporters and non-Hearts supporters – to come and help keep the club alive. This is very serious.”

hearts fc

flickr: colinrglasgow_

Piers Barber talks to Hearts FC legend John Robertson to find out how students can help