TimeFrames

by Yerica Hannah Ramos

It bothers me why a smile still suddenly creeps on my face whenever I see you or be reminded of the times I was with you. It makes me happy, sad, and frightened at the same time. It confuses me how I spontaneously call your name in times I get anxious or dazed. I know among all the people I met in this pace of time, you are the one I long for the most. But then, you are also the person I’m most afraid of. I have lived my life doing everything for my family that I compromised what I want for myself. That’s why I was always afraid of looking at you.

I know you were not that kind of longing that destroys but I fear the possibility of me sacrificing what I have been working for my whole life just to spend a lifetime with you.

I wanted to see your smile up-close and hear your laugh as we talk about the good things in life. I want to see you cry and let your guard down as you tell me all your fears, regrets, and longings. I want to draw with you and paint our future together. I want you to show me your bare self without any restraints and doubt because that is how I liked you you as who you are.

But this love is terrifying. I am afraid that our time frames will not complement each other for I have more goals ahead of me that I promised myself to accomplish before looking at you. It may be too late when that time comes but it is too early for me today. I wanted to be there but then I need to be here for now.